Author has written 13 stories for Invader Zim, Aliens/Predator, Elfen Lied, Bolt, ParaNorman, My Little Pony, and Teen Titans.
I'm a huge Invader Zim fan, and a supporter of 'Project Massive'. A project to bring back our favorite Invader. I know from experience, that you want to know more about me. So, lets just get to it.
Age: 17 (As of March 26th)
Gender: I believe your species would call me a Male
Suspenseful fight scenes, that highly injure the character.
My online comic/manga interests include: Grim Tales From Down Below, Sugar Bits, and Powerpuff Girl Doujinshi, of which are all made by Bleedman, and Duality by Scypod, on deviantART.
And, all know this is the law of the internet, but you have to put your favorite quotes on your account no matter what.
98 percent of authors confuse "you're" and "your". If you're one of the 2 percent who knows how to tell them apart, copy and paste this into your profile.
This world is Rotten. Rotten people should be killed off to cleanse this world.
Yagami Raito (Death Note)
For me see apples are like ciggerets and liquor for humans if i dont my body goes in withdrawal. What are the symptoms? My body twists and i look realy creepy. You already do look kinda creepy thanks a lot light... don't mention it. Ryuuku and Yagami Raito (Death Note)
If I sit like a normal person my investigative abilities would be half as effective.
L (Death Note)
In the end there is no greater motivation than revenge.
Mello (Death Note)
I'll take a potato chip AND EAT IT!
Yagami Raito (Death Note)
I don't care what you call me, I'm still taking your cake
L (Death Note)
If you cannot win at the game, if you cannot solve the puzzle, you are just another loser.
Near (Death Note)
All humans die the same, the place they go after death isn't decided upon by a god it is Mu (nothingness).
Ryuuku (Death Note)
Humans are interesting.
Ryuuku (Death Note)
Only I could do it! I was well aware that killing people is crime in itself! Yet at that point it was the only way to make things right! I thought to myself that someday people will come to realise this as much, and regard it as an act of justice! I had no choice but to act as Kira... it was the destiny given to me.I was chosen to renew this rotten world, to bring about true peace - a utopia.
Yagami Raito (Death Note)
[Deleted scene, soldiers in Serenity valley, seeing med ships.]
Zoë: Whose colors are they flying? [...] Are we really getting out?
Mal: We are.
Zoë: [almost crying] Thank God.
Mal: God? Whose color is he flying?
Jayne: Captain, can you stop her from bein' cheerful, please?
Mal: I don't believe there is a power in the verse that can stop Kaylee from being cheerful.
Jayne: Ten percent of nothing is, let me do the math here, nothing into nothing, carry the nothin'...
Mal: Jayne, your mouth is talking. You might wanna look to that.
Mal: If anyone gets nosy, just, you know... shoot 'em.
Zoë: Shoot 'em?
Book: Captain, you mind if I say grace?
Mal: Only if you say it out loud.
Simon: What happens if they [Reavers] board us?
Zoë: If they take the ship they will rape us to death, eat our flesh, and sew our skins in to their clothing, and if we're very, very lucky, they’ll do it in that order.
Mal: Say that to my face.
Lund: I said, you're a coward, and a pisspot. Now what are you gonna do about it?
Mal: Nothin'. I just wanted you to face me so she could get behind ya.
[Zoë punches Lund.]
Mal: Drunks are so cute.
Mal: Well, what about you, Shepherd? How come you're flying about with us brigands? I mean, shouldn't you be off bringing religiosity to the Fuzzie-Wuzzies or some such?
Book: Oh, I got heathens aplenty right here.
Mal: If I'm your mission, Shepherd, best give it up. You're welcome on my boat. God ain't.
Mal: Kaylee, what the hell's goin' on in the engine room? Were there monkeys? Some terrifying space monkeys maybe got loose?
Kaylee: I had to rewire the grav thrust because somebody won't replace that crappy compression coil.
Zoë: Sir? I think you have a problem with your brain being missing.
Jayne: You know what the chain of command is? It's the chain I go get and beat you with until you understand who's in ruttin' command here.
Mal: Now this is all the money Niska gave us in advance. You bring it back to him, tell him the job didn't work out.[Crow spits.] We're not thieves — well, we are thieves. Point is we're not takin' what's his. Now we'll stay out of his way the best we can from here on in. You explain that that's best for everyone, okay?
Crow: Keep the money. Use it to buy a funeral. It doesn't matter where you go, or how far you fly. I will hunt you down, and the last thing you see will be my blade.
Mal: Darn. [Mal kills Crow by kicking him into the engine intakes. A second henchman of Niska is brought forward.] Now this is all the money Niska gave us in advance...
Henchman: Oh, I'm good. Best thing for everyone. I'm right there with you.
Zoë: Proximity alert. Must be coming up on something.
Wash: [alarmed] Oh my god. What can it be? We're all doomed! Who's flying this thing!? [deadpan] Oh right, that would be me. Back to work.
Harken: Seems odd you'd name your ship after a battle you were on the wrong side of.
Mal: May have been the losing side. Still not convinced it was the wrong one.
Mal: That poor bastard you took off my ship. He looked right into the face of it. Was made to stare.
Mal: The darkness. Kind of darkness you can't even imagine. Blacker than the space it moves through.
Harken: Very poetic.
Mal: They made him watch. He probably tried to turn away, and they wouldn't let him. You call him a survivor? He's not. A man comes up against that kind of will, the only way to deal with it, I suspect, is to become it.
Zoë: Planet's coming up a mite fast.
Wash: That's just cause, I'm going down too quick. Likely crash and kill us all.
Mal: When that happens, let me know.
Badger: You think you're better than other people.
Mal: Just the ones I'm better than.
Mal: He wears a red sash crossways.
Kaylee: Why does he do that?
Mal: Maybe he won the Miss Persephone Pageant. Just help me look.
Kaylee: Is that him?
Mal: That's the buffet table...
Kaylee: Well how can we be sure, unless we question it?
Kaylee: Yessir, Captain Tight Pants.
Sir Warwick Harrow: I know him. And I think he's a psychotic low-life.
Mal: And I think calling him that is an insult to the psychotic low-life community.
Mal: My work's illegal, but at least it's honest.
Mal: And I never back down from a fight.
Inara: Yes, you do! You do all the time!
Simon: [talking about River] She's just a passenger.
Badger: Yeah? Why ain't she talking? She got a secret?
Simon: No, I'm sure not--
River: [mimicking Badger's accent perfectly] Sure, I got a secret. More'n one. Don't seem likely I'd tell 'em to you, do it? Anyone off Dyton Colony know's better'n to talk to strangers. You're talking loud enough for the both of us, though, ain't you? I've known a dozen like you. Skipped off home early, minor graft jobs here and there. Spent some time in the lock-down, I warrant, but less than you claim. Now you're what, petty thief with delusions standing? Sad little king of a sad little hill.
Badger: [smiling nervously] Nice to see someone from the old homestead.
River: Not really. [walks away, looks over her shoulder at Simon] Call me f'anyone interesting shows up.
Badger: I like her.
Mal: Mercy is the mark of a great man. [stabs Atherton] Guess I'm just a good man. [stabs Atherton again] Well, I'm all right.
Gabriel Tam: I will not have it in my house. But since your mother's already ordered you one, I guess I should give up the fantasy that this is my house.
Mal: So, she's added cussing and hurling about of things to her repertoire. She really is a prodigy.
Simon: It's just a bad day.
Mal: No, a bad day is when someone's yellin' spooks the cattle. Understand? You ever see cattle stampede when they got no place to run? It's kind of like a... a meat grinder. And it'll lose us half the herd.
Simon: She hasn't gone anywhere near the cattle.
Mal: No, but in case you hadn't noticed, her voice kinda carries. We're two miles above ground and they can probably hear her down there. Soon as we unload, she can holler until our ears bleed. Although I would take it as a kindness if she didn't.
River: The human body can be drained of blood in 8.6 seconds given adequate vacuuming systems.
Mal: See, morbid and creepifying, I got no problem with, long as she does it quiet-like.
River: They weren't cows inside. They were waiting to be, but they forgot. Now they see the sky and they remember what they are.
Mal: Is it bad that what she said made perfect sense to me?
Simon: I'm very sorry if she tipped off anyone about your cunningly concealed herd of cows.
Book: That's... that's quite a lot of blood, isn't it?
Mal: Just means you ain't dead.
Book [a preacher: Afraid I might be needing a preacher.
Mal: That's good. You lie there and be ironical.
Zoë: Knew a man who had a hole clean through his whole shoulder, once. Used to keep a spare hankie in there.
Jayne: [faux-reading Simon's journal] "Dear Diary, Today I was pompous and my sister was crazy. [flips page]Today we were kidnapped by hill folk never to be seen again. It was the best day ever."
Zoë: Captain will come up with a plan.
Kaylee: That's good. Right?
Zoë: Possibly you're not recalling some of his previous plans.
Doralee: A place like this might be good for your sister. Quiet. Safe. A place where folks take care of each other.
Simon: Mmm, yes, seems like a lovely little community of kidnappers.
Simon: I'm sorry, dad. You know I would never have tried to save River's life if I had known there was a dinner party at risk.
Book: I am a Shepherd. Folks like a man of God.
Mal: No, they don't. Men of God make everyone feel guilty and judged.
Mal: Appears we got here just in the nick of time. What does that make us?
Zoë: Big damn heroes, sir.
Mal: Ain't we just.
Patron: This is a holy cleansing. You cannot think to thwart God's will.
Mal: Y'all see the man hanging out of the spaceship with the really big gun? Now I'm not saying you weren't easy to find. It was kinda out of our way, and he didn't want to come in the first place. Man's lookin' to kill some folk. So really it's his will y'all should worry about thwarting. [to Simon] Gotta say, doctor, your talent for alienatin' folk is near miraculous.
Simon: Yes, I'm very proud.
Mal: [about River] Cut her down.
Patron: That girl is a witch.
Mal: Yeah, but she's our witch. [cocks gun] So cut her the hell down.
That's all I got for now.
Jayne: I married me a powerful ugly creature.
Mal: [dressed as Jayne's wife to lure bandits] How can you say that? How can you shame me in front of new people?
Mal: I swear by my pretty floral bonnet, I will end you.
Jayne: All I got was that dumb stick that sounds like it is raining. How come you got a wife?
Jayne: Six men came to kill me one time and the best of them carried this. It's a Callahan fullbore autolock, customized trigger and double cartridge thorough-gauge. (he holds it out to Mal) It's my very favorite gun.
Mal: Well my days of not taking you seriously are certainly coming to a middle.
Book: If you take sexual advantage of her, you're going to burn in a very special level of hell. A level they reserve for child molesters and people who talk at the theater.
Book: (pointedly to Mal) Well, isn't that special?
Wash: Some people juggle geese!
Wash: (watching Simon play his role... poorly): Who is this diabolical master of disguise?
River: Bible's broken
Simon: To Jayne! The box-dropping, man-ape-gone-wrong-thing.
Jayne: You think there's someone just going to drop money on you?! Money they could use?! Well there ain't people like that... There's just people like me.
River: Just keep walking, preacher-man.
Mal: It's my estimation that every man ever got a statue made of him was one kind of sumbitch or another.
Mal: Try to see past what she is, on to what she can be.
Zoë: What's that, sir?
Mal: Freedom, is what.
Zoë: [pointing] No, I meant — what's that?
Mal: Oh. Just step around it. I think something must've been living in here.
Mal: I need that in Captain Dummy Talk.
Mal: Well. Looks can be deceiving.
Jayne: Not as deceiving as a low down dirty... deceiver.
Mal: Well said. Wasn't that well said, Zoë?
Zoë: Had a kind poetry to it, sir.
Jayne: You want I should shoot 'em now, Marco?
Marco: Wait until they tell us where they put the stuff.
Jayne: That's a good idea. A good idea. Tell us where the stuff's at so I can shoot ya.
Mal: Point of interest? Offering to shoot us, don't work so well as an incentive as you might imagine.
River:(after slashing Jayne with a kitchen knife) He looks better in red.
Simon: For this to work, River and I will have to be dead.
Jayne: Huh. I'm starting to like this plan.
Mal: The patients were cynical and not responding and we couldn't bring them back.
Mal: Pupils were fixed and dilapidated —
Jayne: If I had wanted schooling, I'da gone to school.
River: They took Christmas away. Came downstairs for the shiny presents, They took the tree, the stockings... nothing left but coal.
Jayne: (to Simon) would you shut her up?
River: (smiling at Jayne) Don't look in the closet, either! It's greedy, it's not in the spirit of the holiday.
Mal: Job is done. Figured it was time for a little chat. Seems to me we had a solid plan. "Smooth", you might say. But what I cant figure out is what you were doing around the back exit... you called the Feds.
Jayne: What?! I got pinched!
Mal: Which is what happens when you call the Feds.
Jayne: No! I would never do that! My hand to God! May he strike me down as I'm standing here!
Mal: Well, you won't be standing there long. The minute we break atmo, you'll be a lot thinner once you get sucked out that hole.
Jayne:Aw, come on, Mal! That ain't no way for a man to die. You wanna kill me, shoot me! Just let me in!
Mal: You know, I hear tell they used to keelhaul traitors back in the day. I don't have a keel to haul you on, so...
Jayne: O-Okay! I'm sorry, all right?
Mal: Sorry for what, Jayne? I thought you'd never do such a thing.
Jayne: The money was too good. I got stupid. I'm sorry, okay? Be reasonable. What are you taking it so personal for? It ain't like I ratted you out to the Feds.
Mal: Oh, but you did! You turn on any of my crew, you turn on me! But since that's a concept you can't seem to wrap your head around, then you got no place here. You did it to me, Jayne, and that's a fact.
Jayne: What are you going to tell the others?
Mal: About what?
Jayne: About why I'm dead?
Mal: I hadn't thought about it
Jayne: Make something up. Don't tell 'em what I did.
(Mal shuts the door.)
Mal: The next time you stab me in the back, have the guts to do it to my face.
Book: Yes, I'd forgotten you're moonlighting as a criminal mastermind now. Got your next heist planned?
Simon: No. But I'm thinking about growing a big black mustache. I'm a traditionalist.
'[Zoë is telling the crew about a close trench conflict with the Alliance during the war.]
Zoë: We mentioned that we were out of rations, and 10 minutes later, a bunch of apples rained into the trench.
Wash: And they grew into a big tree, and they all climbed up the tree into a magical land with unicorns and a harp.
Mal: Ah, the pitter-patter of tiny feet, in huge combat boots. SHUT
Wash: But these apples are healthsome, good.
Jayne: Grenades cost extra.
[Simon asks River how she's doing.]
River: [smiles] Played with Kaylee. The sun came out, and… I walked on my feet, and… heard with my ears.[more raggedly] I ate the bits. The bits did stay down. And I work. I… function like I'm a girl. [sobbing] I hate it because I know it'll go away. The sun goes dark, and chaos is come again. It's fluids! What am I?!
Simon: You are my beautiful sister.
River: I-I threw up on your bed.
Simon: Yep. Definitely my sister.
Wash: Hey, I've been in a firefight before! Well, I was in a fire. Actually, I was fired from a fry-cook opportunity.
Wash: I don't want you to spare me, Mal. If you think you know what's happening, then you tell me. You wouldn't spare Zoë if she were in this situation with you, would you? You would be planning, and plotting and... possibly scheming. So whatever Zoë would do in this instance is what I wanna do. Do you know why? No matter how ugly it gets, you two always come back with the stories. So... I'm Zoë. Now, what do I do?
Mal: Probably not talk quite so much.
Wash: Terse? I can be terse. Once in flight school, I was laconic.
Wash: I mean, I'm the one she swore to love, honor and obey.
Mal: Listen... She swore to obey?
Wash: No, but that's the point! You she obeys! She obeys you! There's obeying going on right under my nose!
Niska: I think this is not enough [money]... not enough for two, but sufficient perhaps for one? Ahhh, you now have...
Zoë: Him. (points to Wash)
Zoë: ...I'm sorry, you were going to ask me to choose, right? Do you want to finish?
Zoë: Oh, yes. Thank you, dear.
Zoë: Preacher, don't the Bible have some pretty specific things to say about killing?
Book: Quite specific. It is, however, somewhat fuzzier on the subject of kneecaps.
Niska: You died, Mr. Reynolds.
Mal: Seemed like the thing to do.
Jayne: Smellin' a lot of "if" comin' off this plan.
Zoë: Okay, people... If it moves, shoot it.
Kaylee: Unless it's the Captain!
Zoë: Unless it's the Captain.
[After River, facing away from her targets, plugs three men with three shots, she turns to Kaylee.]
River: No power in the verse can stop me.
Mal: You want to meet the real me now?
Mal: Haven't you killed me enough for one day?
[The rescue team comes upon Mal struggling with his torturer; Zoë stops the others from interfering]
Zoë: This is something the Captain has to do for himself.
Mal: No! No, it's not!
[Zoë, Jayne and Wash shoot the torturer.]
[Mal tells Zoë about his and Wash's in-torture discussion about getting past Zoë's supposed unrequited passion for the Captain.]
Mal: I know it's a difficult mission, but you and I... have to get it on.
Zoë: I understand. We have no choice.
Zoë: [deadpan] Take me, sir. Take me hard.
Jayne: Now something about that is just downright unsettlin'.
[As Zoë and Mal awkwardly move to kiss, Wash gets up and drags Zoë off.]
Wash: We'll be in our bunk.
Jayne: [slapping Mal on his recently injured chest]... Hey! Free soup!
Monty: Damn you, Bridgette! Damn you to Hades! You broke my heart in a million pieces! You made me love you, and then you... I shaved off my BEARD for you, devil-woman!
Wash: I'm confused.
Saffron: You're asking yourself: "if I've got the security codes, why don't I go in and grab it for myself?".
Wash: No, actually, I was wondering... What's she doing on the ship?! Didn't she try to kill us?!
Saffron: Please, nobody died last time.
Wash: We're in space, how'd she get here?
Mal: She hitched.
Wash: I don't recall pulling over!
Mal: Point is, this ain't no wobbly-headed doll caper. This here's history.
Jayne: Okay, I've got a question. If she's got the security codes, why don't she just walk in and grab it herself?
Saffron:(Sarcastic) Good point.
Saffron: He[Mal]'s my husband.
Mal: Well who in the damn galaxy ain't?!
Simon: Yup, it's a cow fetus.
Kaylee: I guess so. It does seem to have an awful lot of limbs.
Simon: It's mutated.
Kaylee: But cow? How do you figure?
Simon: It's upside down.
Kaylee [turning head to view]: Oh yeah. Cow.
Wash: Oh my god, it's grotesque! Oh, and there's something in a jar.
Zoë: Scared her away again, did you?
Simon: This may come as a shock, but I'm actually not very good at talking to girls.
Zoë: Why, is there someone you are good at talking to?
Wash: [to jar with cow fetus, mock-serious] Do not fear me. Ours is a peaceful race, and we must live in harmony...
Jayne: I got post?
Book: Might we all want to step a few paces back before he opens that?
Jayne: Ha ha. It's from my mother.
Inara: So, do aliens live among us?
Kaylee: Yeah. One of them's a doctor.
Jayne: [wearing ugly homemade hat] How's it sit? Pretty cunning, don't you think?
Kaylee: I think it's the sweetest hat ever.
Wash: A man walks down the street in that hat, people know he's not afraid of anything.
Jayne: Damn straight.
Jayne: What'd y'all order a dead guy for?
Mal: Oh! That was bracing. They don't like it when you shoot at them. I worked that out myself.
Jayne: We're taking him on board?
Mal: We are.
Jayne: Don't know if I see the percentage in that.
Mal: Don't strain your brain trying. You might break something.
[gathered around the table, laughing]
Mal: I thought I was gonna die.
Inara: How could he possibly--
Mal: Oh, the colonel was dead drunk. Three hours pissin' on about the enlisted men, 'they're scum, they're not fighters', and then he passed right out. Boom.
Zoë: We couldn't even move him. So Tracey just snipped it right off his face.
Mal: And you've never seen a man more proud of his moustache than Colonel Obrin. I mean, in all my life I will never love a woman the way this officer loved that lip ferret.
Zoë: Big walrus-y thing—all waxed up!
Inara: Did he find out?
Mal: Oh! Next mornin', he wakes up, it's gone and he is furious! But he can't just say, you know, 'someone stole my moustache!' So he calls us together, all the platoons...
Zoë: We thought he was gonna shoot us!
Mal: ...and, oh he's eye-ballin' all the men somethin' fierce. Not a word. And he comes up to Tracey, and Tracey's wearing the gorram thing on his face!
Zoë: He had glued it on!
Mal: He's starin' the old man down wearing his own damn moustache!
More quotes will be on at later date.