First off, may I say, Hello, and welcome to my profile. I am EternalRandomChick, but if you want to, you can simply abbreviate it to ERC.

I don't usually remember to put disclaimers in my stories, so let me put the disclaimer here:

Disclaimer: I do not own, nor will I ever own, anything in my stories that have already been created by the geniuses. The only thing I own are the OCs and my original plot.

A little bit about me: I am a Leo, but all my irl friends say that I have a Cancer personality, I am a full-time insurance agent for my day job, and a proud member of House Slytherin. I am a hardcore anime fan, despite what my fanfiction author library may suggest, and definitely prefer Japanese animations over American. But, I will always have a place in my heart for Disney.

In Honor of Stupid People In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed to stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods:

On a Sears hairdryer -- Do not use while sleeping. (Shoot, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair.)

On a bag of Fritos -- You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special)?

On a bar of Dial soap -- "Directions: Use like regular soap," (and that would be how??...)

On some Swanson frozen dinners -- "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's "just" a suggestion).

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) -- "Do not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh)!

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding -- "Product will be hot after heating." (...and you thought??...)

On packaging for a Rowena iron -- "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time)?

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine -- "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid -- "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and...I'm taking this because??...)

On most brands of Christmas lights -- "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to...what)?

On a Japanese food processor -- "Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious)

On Sainsbury's peanuts -- "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts -- "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, ooh...fly Delta?)

On a child's Superman costume -- "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)

On a Swedish chainsaw -- "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands." (Oh my ..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

On a Korean kitchen knife -- "Warning: keep out of children." (hmm...something must have gotten lost in the translation...)

On a matress warning label -- "WARNING: Do not attempt to swallow." (What prompted this?)

On the back of a watch -- "For Best Results Use Other Side." (I start to question the world now.)

Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the stupidity.

Awesome Ways to Make Your Teacher Want to Backhand You

1. Walk into the classroom like a superspy (keep your back to the walls as you walk, point your finger up like a gun, look around with shifty eyes, and hum the Mission: Impossible theme, etc.)
2. After everything your teacher says, ask “Why” continuously
3. If your teacher is yelling at a classmate, wait for them to finish, and then ask “DOES SOMEBODY NEED A HUG?” very loudly.
4. If your teacher starts blowing up at you for saying that, wait for them to finish their tantrum, simply reply, “Wow. I can tell you’re a blast at parties.”
5. Sit in a corner and wait for everyone to stare at you. When they do, grab your head and scream, “THE LIGHT! MAKE IT STOP! ARGH, IT BURNS!”
6. Flick pieces of paper around the class
7. When your teacher yells at you to stop, cross your arms and say, “You’re racist against paper, aren’t you?”
8. Don’t do your homework
9. When your teacher asks you why you didn’t do your homework, say, “I dropped it while beating up this guy for saying you’re the worst teacher ever,” then sit there and smile sweetly.
10. When you have a substitute teacher, wait for them to write their name on the board. Then when they say “Hello, my name is Mr. /Mrs. (insert name here),” stand up and say, “PROVE IT!”
11. When your teacher asks you why you were late, say, “My goldfish died.” Then burst into tears.
12. When handing in your homework, write “This paper will self-destruct in five seconds” at the bottom
13. When you leave class, bow and say, “May the Force be with you, young one.”
14. When the teacher turns the lights off, start singing opera as loud as you can. When they turn the lights back on, look around pretending to be confused.
15. Whisper to the person next to you. When the teacher comes up behind you scream, “AHH, GET AWAY FROM ME! RAPE! RAPE! RAPE!”
16. Walk into class dancing the Macarena
17. Tell your teacher you heard the other teachers talking about him/her in the staff room
18. Raise your hand and say, “I totally agree!” after everything your teacher says.
19. Spend the whole lesson trying to lick your elbow
20. Speak in French
21. Come to class late in a Spider-Man costume; say there was “a disturbance.”
22. When they tell someone to turn around, have everyone in the class do it as well.
23. “The homework’s due now? Oh, give me a minute, then.”
24. Hand in an essay where every word is misspelled
25. Run in the room screaming, “THE WORLD IS GOING TO END!”
26. When the teacher asks you why you are late, say, “The queen in never late, everyone else is simply early.”
27. When a teacher asks you a question, say, “I’m sorry, the brain you tried to reach has been disconnected, please leave me alone or try again later.”
28. When the teacher turns on the overhead projector, scream, “AAH, MY EYES!”
29. Tell yourself knock-knock jokes, then laugh loads
30. Hide under your desk and yell, “THE SKY IS FALLING!”
31. When someone knocks on the door, shout, “OH NO, THEY’RE COMING FOR ME!”
32. Bring in a 7th grader and say he’s your new pet
33. In your technology lesson, when the teacher asks you what you are making, say a nuclear bomb
34. When your teacher asks you a question, just stare at them.
35. Constantly talk to yourself in a low voice
36. Purposely fall off your chair and make a big deal about it
37. If you’re playing a really boring game, make a big deal if you win
38. Glue all their scissors together.
39. Make paperclip jewelry, i.e. necklaces, earrings, etc.
40. Pull out one strand of someone’s hair and yell, “DNA!”
41. Wear a sticker or badge that says, “I am retarded.”
42. Talk to a pen
43. Put your hand up during a test and wait for the teacher to come over. When they whisper what’s wrong, yell, “NO! I WON’T MAKE OUT WITH YOU AFTER CLASS!”
44. Yell “LIAR!” after everything they say
45. Smile. All the time.
46. Draw a tiny black spot on your arm. Make it bigger every day. Look at it and say, “It’s spreading, IT’S SPREADING!”
47. When a substitute teacher is taking roll, say everyone is missing. Then, if they ask who you are, say, “Your worst nightmare.”
48. When you know the answer, bounce up and down and go, “OOH I KNOW THIS!”
49. When a teacher calls on you, say, “I forgot” to every question he/she asks
50. If you have to blow your nose in class, blow your nose to the tune of your favorite song
51. When the teacher is not facing you, get the whole class to move their desks forward towards him/her!
52. Hum throughout the lesson, but make sure you do not get caught!
53. When a teacher asks you a question... Reply, “ERM, COMPUTER SAYS NO!”
54. When a teacher asks you to make a statement, stand boldly and shout, “I OBJECT!!”
55. REPEAT the last word the teacher says, but say it much louder
56. While the teacher’s back is turned, everyone swap seats
57. If you are sure you haven’t passed the test, write your phone number at the end with a heart!
58. When you hear a police car siren from outside, run around screaming in the classroom shouting, “Oh no, they’re here. Crap, crap, crap. What do I do? Miss/Sir you have to help me! Oh, no, they must have found the body! HELP!”
59. When it’s your turn to answer a question... shout “NEXT!”
60. Every time he/she isn’t looking at you, have a slap war with the person sitting next to you.
61. Every time the announcements come on, say, “Oh no! Not the voices again!”
62. Every time they turn around, play charades with someone on the other side of the room
63. Ask stupid questions that have nothing to do with what they’re teaching (e.g. Why do dogs have wet noses?)
64. If you’re late, quote Tolkien, “A wizard is never late. Nor is he early. He arrives precisely when he means to.”
65. Say to the teacher, “Excuse me, but I don’t get ANY of this. If you could just start over from the beginning- say, September?”
66. Sit in the front desk, where your teacher can see you. Then, just start scribbling in a notebook. When your teacher asks you, “What are you doing?” reply by saying, “I’m drawing. Shouldn’t you be teaching instead of looking at what I’m doing?”
67. If the teacher asks a question, jump up and down yelling “Pick me! Pick me!” and act as if you’re going to die if they don’t call on you. Once they do, answer with “Orange.”
68. Say, “Seven days” in a creepy voice
69. Write the words, “I hate school” in permanent marker on your forehead
70. Make paper signs and go on strike because you are overworked and “underpaid”
71. In history class, stand up and say, “Actually, that’s not true at all.” Then make up your own version, involving purple dragons.
72. When your teacher asks you a simple question such as, “Who can tell us about Christopher Columbus and the effect he had on our history?” be sure to include space aliens and giant pink elephants in your explanation.
73. When asked to throw out your gum, politely say, “I regret to inform you that chewing gum is part of my religion, and I think it darn right rude of you to criticize the religion of another being!”
74. Send your teachers a list of “Ways to Annoy Your Teachers” in an envelope labeled “Blackmail.”
75. Answer every question, “Yes, Professor Umbridge...”
76. When you're called to answer a question that you were not paying attention to, wait a few moments and then answer "Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious."

To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity. . . .
1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on, and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.
3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
4. When caught sleeping at school/work/wherever you are not supposed to be sleeping, and you're woken up, shout, "AMEN! Or PAYING ATTENTION!"
5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for three weeks. Once everyone's gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
6. In the memo field of all your checks, write, "For marijuana."
7. Finish all your sentences with, "In accordance with the prophecy." Or, "in the garden with a meat cleaver."
8. Skip down the hall instead of walking and see how many looks you get.
9. Order diet water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.
10. Specify that your drive-through order is to go.
11. Sing along at the opera.
12. Put mosquito netting around your work are and play tropical sounds all day.
13. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you have a headache.
14. When money comes out of the ATM, scream, "I won! I won!"
15. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling, "RUN FOR YOUR LIVES! THEY'RE LOOSE!"
16. Tell your children over dinner, "Due to the economy, we're gonna have to let one of you go."

Facts of Life (that i agree with of course) Thanks to the authors that posted these

Being mature is overrated.
Being weird is like being normal, only better.
I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me.
Boys are like lava lamps, fun to watch but not too bright
One day, we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject.
Silence is golden, duct tape is silver
Life is like a pack of gum . . . I've yet to figure out why.
Be insane . . . because well behaved girls never made history.
If your name is Mr.Crunch, and you joined the Navy, would you eventually be Captain Crunch?
Your weirdness is creeping my imaginary friend out.
A wise man once said, "Ask a girl."
To the world, you are just one person, but to one person, you are the world
It’s always the last place you look. Of course it is why would I keep looking after I’ve found it?

Person #1: Happiness is just around the corner!
Person #2: Too bad the world is round!

Growing old is mandatory . . . growing up is optional . . .(i love this! i know for a fact that part of me is still flying in Neverland with Peter Pan and Tinker Bell, and will probably stay there forever.)
We fall for stupid boys, we make lots of dumb mistakes, we like to act stupid, talk really fast, and laugh really loud. But we teenage girls are good at 2 things: Staying Strong, and Being Ourselves.
Life was so simple when boys had cooties!
Mothers of teens know why some animals eat their young.
I'm not random, I just have many thougt- OH! A SQUIRREL!
There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird.
Organized people are just too lazy to look for things.
Pickles are cucumbers soaked in evil!
Don't run in the school hall, gliding is more fun!
The newscaster is the person who says "Good evening" and then tells you why it's not
Take my advice, I don't use it anyway.
Robbers stab you in the stomach. Boyfriends stab you in the heart. Friends stab you in the back. Best friends don't carry knives.

Wow, you guys read the entire thing? You really must have nothing to do.