Mrs.Fangslastname
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Joined 03-11-12, id: 3807225, Profile Updated: 02-18-14
Author has written 4 stories for Maximum Ride.

I LOVE Maximum Ride and Nevermore comes out on my birthday August 6, 2012!!!!!!!!

Quotes from people in my class:

"What... I have hormones???" -Jack

"Nice boobs" -Me to Alexander (He's skinny, but I just complement him on them)

"They're not gay, I just wish they were" -Katelyn

"My firstborn son is going to be gay, another one I'm just going to raise in a barn and I'll wear a horse head and name it Secretariat " -Katelyn's (We told her she's not allowed to mate now)

"Jack, are you enjoying watching those kids play Twister?"

"No, I'm not that much of a pedophile" -Me to Jack

"You like Nickleback? Eww... They're almost as bad as Linkin Park."

"I like them too..." -Katelyn to Me

"When we go on our trip we should call Mrs. Artegia mom" -Katelyn (It happened)

"I want a new name"

"You're Michael and Michael's Alex"

"Okay." -Alexander to Me

"I'm sorry, my dad just sort of filled my mom," -Katelyn

"Oh, yeah, big boy?" Jack (He says it in a high pitched Asian voice. I swear he's not gay.)


My favorite quotes:

"I can fly, I'm a giraffe." -Pewdiepie

"And at the bottom there's going to be a nice little strip club." -Ian (Smosh)

"This isn't even Gametime with Smosh anymore, it's Anthony being a Douchebag with Yoshi" -Ian (Smosh)

'If you're worried about something, just question; if I going to die if I do this? No, okay.' -BertieBertG

"Just stay happy and do whatever makes you happy, as long as it's not hurting anyone"- Charles Trippy

"Why can't we live life without consequences?"-Adam Lambert

"Don't make a permanent solution to a temporary problem."- Hannah Hart (I've also said this)

"An Apple a day keeps Bill Gates away."-Charles Trippy

"When you fall off a horse, just shoot it and get back on.'-Charles Trippy

Every Abortion Is Just . . .

One more heart that was stopped.

Two more eyes that will never see.

Two more hands that will never touch.

Two more legs that will never run.

One more mouth that will never speak.

We fall for stupid boys, we make lots of dumb mistakes, we like to act stupid, talk really fast, and laugh really loud. But we teenage girls are good at 2 things: Staying Strong, and Being Ourselves.

When nothing goes right... go left.

I'm not random, you just can't think as fast as me.

Be the type of woman, that when your feet land on the floor when you get out of bed in the morning, the devil thinks: "Oh, crap! She's up!"

Note to self: It is illegal to stab people for being stupid

Anyone: Go to hell! You: I did. But Hell was full, so I came back

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car.

I OWE MY MOTHER

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION. "You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL. "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC. " Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC. "If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT. "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught me IRONY. "Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS. "Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM. "Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER. "This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY. "If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE. "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION. "Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY. " There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

16 My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION. "Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING. "You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE. "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way."

19. My mother taught me ESP. "Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR. "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me. "

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT. "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS. "You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS. "Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM. "When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. My mother taught me about JUSTICE. "One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you".

Girls Don't realize these things: (This is so sad and yet so sweet)

I'm sorry that I bought you roses to tell you that I like you

I'm sorry That I was raised with respect not to sleep with you when you were drunk

I'm sorry That my body's not ripped enough to "satisfy" your wants

I'm sorry that I open your car door, and pull out your chair like I was raised

I'm sorry That I'm not cute enough to be "your guy"

I'm sorry That I am actually nice; not a jerk

I'm sorry I don't have a huge bank account to buy you expensive things

I'm sorry I like to spend quality nights at home cuddling with you, instead of at a club

I'm sorry I would rather make love to you then just screw you like some random guy.

I'm sorry That I am always the one you need to talk to, but never good enough to date

I'm sorry That I always held your hair back when you threw up, and didn't get mad at you for puking in my car, but when we went out you went home with another guy

I'm sorry That I am there to pick you up at 4am when your new man hit you and dropped you off in the middle of nowhere, but not good enough to listen to me when I need a friend

I'm sorry If I start not being there because it hurts being used as a door mat, only to be thrown to the side when the new jerk comes around

I'm sorry If I don't answer my phone anymore when you call, to listen to you cry for hours, instead of getting a couple hours of sleep before work

I'm sorry that you can't realize.. I've been the one all along.

I'm sorry If you read this and know somebody like this but don't care

But most of all

I'm sorry For not being sorry anymore

I'm sorry That you can't accept me for who I am

I'm sorry I can never do anything right, and nothing that I do is good enough to make it in your world.

I'm sorry I caught your boyfriend with another girl and told you about it, I thought that was what friends were for...

I'm sorry That I told you I loved you and actually meant it.

I'm sorry That I talked to you for nine hours on Thanksgiving when your boyfriend was threatening you instead of spending time with my family.

I'm Sorry That I cared

I'm sorry that I listen to you at night talking about how you wish you could have done something different.

Ladies always complain and gripe to their friends that there is never any good guys out there, and they always end up with idiots who mistreat them. Well ladies, next time you're complaining, maybe look up to see who you're complaining to, maybe that special someone is right there hanging on your every word screaming in his head, "Why won't you give me a chance?" because the person you are usually searching for is right beside you.

Pairings I Support

FAX=FangMaxMaximum Ride

EGGY=EllaIggyMaximum Ride

Team Edward=EdwardBellaTwilight

Pairings I Dislike

MYLAN=MaxDylanMaximum Ride

MIGGY=MaxIggyMaximum Ride

NIGGY=NudgeIggyMaximum Ride

Team Jacob=JacobBellaTwilight

FIGGY=FangIggyMaximum Ride

FANGEL=FangAngelMaximum Ride (Yes, I have actually seen fanfics with this in them. I don't know either.)(BTW angels half his age,shes 7 hes 14/15, making him a Perv)

MYLAN=MaxDylanMaximum Ride (I wrote this one twice because I really really hate it!)

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

A Different Start by realistic-myth reviews
What if the flock met in an orphanage instead of the school? What if Max, Iggy, and Fang had to raise the rest of the flock themselves at age twelve? What if they went on the run earlier?
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 3 - Words: 2,902 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 12 - Updated: 4/2/2013 - Published: 7/26/2012 - Max, Fang
Dun Dun Dun! DARES! by dwarfperson reviews
Mwahahaha, the flock is BACK! But this time, they are trapped in a everlasting white room with no escape. And then I appear. My name is Pixie, and I am the most maddest (is that a word?) person you will ever read about! I control EVERYTHING and EVERYONE, so I make them all play a nice game of dares! WARNING, SERIOUS RANDOM STUFF IS INCLUDED IN THIS STORY! and swearing but ya'know..
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Humor/Mystery - Chapters: 10 - Words: 6,903 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 2/10/2013 - Published: 9/30/2011 - Max
Heartbreak and Mistletoe by BirdKidKirby reviews
An E-house story filled with relationship drama and Eraser attacks. But what else can you expect from a Flock family Christmas? AU, Fax, Eggy, Fax, Fax, and Fax
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Family/Drama - Chapters: 8 - Words: 12,848 - Reviews: 67 - Favs: 36 - Follows: 20 - Updated: 12/29/2012 - Published: 12/19/2011 - [Max, Fang] Nudge - Complete
With All the Girls by COCOnutlove16 reviews
Fang Ride was the most sought after boy in school, and he hated it. Max Martinez was going to a new school and definitely knew that Fang Ride was hot. But from all the girls in the hall apparently dating him, he was a player. Plus, she would never fall in love. How will Fang show her that he is a real man that even with all the girls after him, he would only chase one? FAX! Review!
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 10 - Words: 32,149 - Reviews: 163 - Favs: 79 - Follows: 90 - Updated: 11/22/2012 - Published: 10/25/2012 - Fang, Max - Complete
What Happens in Vegas Doesn't Always Stay There by BirdKidKirby reviews
Sort of an alternate ending to FANG. When Max and Fang get too heated in Las Vegas, unexpected problems arise. They leave to try and make it better, but can they truly live a normal life? AU. Major Fax, Some Eggy later.
Maximum Ride - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 27 - Words: 72,075 - Reviews: 532 - Favs: 182 - Follows: 192 - Updated: 11/20/2012 - Published: 2/4/2011 - [Max, Fang] [Iggy, Ella]
Across the Hall by YouHaveToTakeAChance reviews
Max moves into a new apartment in New York because she got a job as a journalist. Will the boy in the apartment across from her be a new chapter in her life, or just a bother? Fax.
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 12 - Words: 11,147 - Reviews: 132 - Favs: 61 - Follows: 81 - Updated: 9/17/2012 - Published: 3/7/2012 - Max, Fang
Don't Let Her Hurt Me by Lily-On-Water reviews
An older brother struggles to take care of his abused sister, while at the same time grappling with his own fear of being abused himself. One thing is clear, they have to get out. Unless he wants to wake up one morning and find that he no longer has a sister, they have to get out... The question is, how?
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Angst/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,090 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 7/18/2012 - Published: 7/15/2012 - Angel, Fang
School Days by It's Fnicking Awesomeness reviews
Takes place in the School. Just some history of the flock. Name/personality origins, meetings, etc. Little kid Fax! Please read and give feedback- it's desperately needed!
Maximum Ride - Rated: K - English - Family/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 8 - Words: 8,026 - Reviews: 25 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 10 - Updated: 7/4/2012 - Published: 4/21/2011 - Complete
Job Listings by St. Fang of Boredom reviews
I basically got bored one day and had a random thought: If the Flock applied for jobs, what would be a bad choice? I have random thoughts like that. So, this is what I came up with...Oh, and it's narrated by me and Fang! Fang: Not that I want to be here..
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 24 - Words: 14,794 - Reviews: 814 - Favs: 276 - Follows: 118 - Updated: 2/21/2011 - Published: 12/1/2008 - Complete
Flash by Phoenix Fanatic reviews
Nothing is quite as awkward as killing your sorta-girlfriend. Fax.
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 14,333 - Reviews: 578 - Favs: 204 - Follows: 222 - Updated: 11/12/2010 - Published: 9/1/2010 - Fang, Max
Diary of a Lovesick Mutant by Phoenix Fanatic reviews
Ever wonder what it's like to be inside Fang's head? Follow Fang's diary as he attempts to tell Max he loves her in just one year, while also trying to save his neck. It's hard to be a guy...Fax. Complete.
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 62 - Words: 239,551 - Reviews: 8157 - Favs: 1,793 - Follows: 680 - Updated: 6/12/2010 - Published: 6/2/2009 - Fang, Max - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

The Maximum Band reviews
This is a Maximum Ride fanfic with NO WINGS and they're in a band. Iggy's not blind, and Gazzy, Angel, and Ella are Maxes siblings. Nudge is an only child, and so is Dylan, and Fang and Iggy are twins. (Dylan and Nudge have other siblings)
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 7 - Words: 9,329 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 10 - Updated: 3/10 - Published: 8/6/2012
My Version of Nevermore reviews
Just some ideas put together in a full hopefully it makes sense to you story
Maximum Ride - Rated: K+ - English - Sci-Fi/Tragedy - Chapters: 7 - Words: 4,934 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 12/23/2012 - Published: 6/26/2012 - Max, Fang
Maximum Ride Forever reviews
The title explains it all; Maximum Ride forever. It has minor Figgy, but because I think it's hilarious. Mostly Fax and Eggy. Disclaimer: I'm not JP ant have not invented Maximum Ride, so yeah.
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,069 - Reviews: 1 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 12/23/2012 - Published: 12/12/2012 - Fang, Max
I Am Dylan Phoenix reviews
Chapter one is based on the dream i had last night.This isn't the Dylan that messed up Fax, he doesn't exist in my world. Dylan has to find the flock so they can help her get revenge because if it werent for Itex her life would still be normal.DISCLAIMER: I DONT LOOK LIKE A OLD DUDE WHO HAS A AWESOME MIND SO MAXIMUM RIDE ISN'T MINE AND IT WILL NEVER BE MINE NO MATTER HOW HARD I TRY
Maximum Ride - Rated: K+ - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 8 - Words: 5,586 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 12/23/2012 - Published: 6/2/2012