distraught.hallelujah
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Joined 03-15-12, id: 3821019, Profile Updated: 08-14-14
Author has written 36 stories for Naruto, Bleach, Fruits Basket, Fairy Tail, and Vocaloid.

Hello, peoples! I go by distraught.hallelujah. I don't give out any personal information, so please don't ask. :/ I love to help out, though, so if you have a question about your story or need a good humor line, feel free to ask me. My book speciality is humor and I usually only write that, with a little romance and some decent action occasionally. All of my books are complete at their time of entry, even if the chapters are not released yet -- I just can't torture my readers with half-finished novels.

The username, in case you're wondering, is from a song I once wrote. I tend to write songs a lot, and one of my songs had the line 'Singing distraught hallelujah' in it. Plus, all the other good usernames were already taken, so here I am. :P My favorite books (that I've written) so far would probably be Campaign, Why Sugar Should Be Illegal, and Alice Human Sacrifice. Though I'm not too proud of the writing for the first two, I still think it was a decent try for something written a while ago and I still giggle at it. I have also seen many anime including but not limited to Clannad, Bleach, Naruto, Fruits Basket, Naruto Shippuden, Kaichou wa Maid-sama, Special A, and read many manga including Hana to Akuma, Hana-Kimi, Shirogane no Karasu, Immortal Rain, etc. (you can find me on BakaUpdates as distraughthallelujah for my complete manga list xD). I am one-fifth done with One Piece. Wish me luck. :P

Aaaanyway, thanks for visiting my page. ;) Have a nice day!

Uchiha Itachi Facts (the Chuck Norris of Naruto)

Uchiha Itachi doesn't breathe, he holds air hostage.

Uchiha Itachi doesn't actually write haiku, the words assemble themselves out of fear.

When Uchiha Itachi goes out to eat, he orders a whole chicken, but he only eats its soul.

Uchiha Itachi does not sleep, he waits.

Uchiha Itachi does not shower. He only takes blood baths.

Uchiha Itachi can divide by zero.

In the medical community, death is referred to as "Uchiha Itachi Disease"

Uchiha Itachi crossed a road. No one dared question his motives.

Lightning never strikes in the same place twice because Uchiha Itachi is looking for it.

The universe is expanding because it's running away from Uchiha Itachi.

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Sex Ed by The-Missing-Paige reviews
Edward is a junior at Central High School…and so is Envy. This high school takes sexual education to the next level, but Ed doesn't realize just how intense the class is going to be until he is paired up with Envy. Modern day high school AU.
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 23 - Words: 36,549 - Reviews: 184 - Favs: 95 - Follows: 86 - Updated: 3/24 - Published: 12/20/2014 - [Envy, Edward E.] - Complete
Perfect Blood by c.mary.c reviews
Winry's rare blood disorder and lonely life are key in the military's effort to cure diseases, but when a psychopath comes after her a golden-eyed soldier with disturbing secrets of his own is the only person who can keep her safe. AU. EdxWin. -Complete-
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 24 - Words: 69,825 - Reviews: 238 - Favs: 116 - Follows: 65 - Updated: 10/29/2014 - Published: 8/27/2014 - Edward E., Winry R. - Complete
Colorful Heat by callingnightsky reviews
Set during their search for the Sunflower Samurai, the trio happen upon an unusual bar where Fuu meets a beautiful stranger. Tired of being ignored by her male companions, she takes the strange drug he gives her and finds herself on a roller-coaster of desire. {{Reposted, see author's note}}
Samurai Champloo - Rated: M - English - Angst/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,954 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 47 - Follows: 15 - Published: 10/12/2013 - [Fuu, Mugen] Jin - Complete
The Closed Circle by hmmingbird reviews
In which Lieutenant Hawkeye drives Colonel Mustang to distraction, and he decides he's had quite enough cold showers.
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 18,888 - Reviews: 60 - Favs: 285 - Follows: 82 - Updated: 8/7/2013 - Published: 7/23/2013 - Riza H., Roy M. - Complete
How Did We Get Here by fuusunshine reviews
An argument is nothing new but what it leads to is definetly something neither one of them expected. One Shot. MugenxFuu Fuugen
Samurai Champloo - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,661 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 61 - Follows: 10 - Published: 7/22/2013 - Fuu, Mugen - Complete
Can You Feel It by taylortot reviews
Roy's stubborn antics have led to both a sunburn and the day that Riza Hawkeye could not stop laughing.
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,006 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 62 - Follows: 5 - Published: 4/21/2013 - Riza H., Roy M. - Complete
The Edge by xXduncanxloverXx reviews
"Taking the necessary six steps to get to the actual door that lead to the main office, you push the wooden frame open without a second thought. And then you kind of wish you had stayed in bed that day, or at least knocked." Couple-fic with Driven by Insanity. For IDoubt.
Bleach - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,626 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 1 - Published: 11/24/2012 - M. Hinamori, T. Hitsugaya - Complete
The Mistake by Xela-Pie reviews
Momo Hinamori goes to her childhood friend for help...but Who does she find sleeping in his bed? Read to find out! HitsuHina
Bleach - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,489 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 3 - Published: 10/22/2012 - T. Hitsugaya, M. Hinamori
Storm Clouds and Sweet Delirium by Awsaya reviews
Jin had never meant to touch her in such a passionate way, but what was done is done, and he can never look at her the same way again. But perhaps he can just blame it on the fever.
Samurai Champloo - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 11,225 - Reviews: 30 - Favs: 136 - Follows: 14 - Published: 9/29/2012 - Fuu, Jin - Complete
True Redeux by DestinyEclipsed reviews
Edited, Revised, Rewritten, Reuploaded. He thought it was a spell, but love can only be True. Sesshomaru/OC. One-Shot. Warnings inside.
Inuyasha - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,925 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 6 - Published: 6/16/2012 - Sesshomaru - Complete
To Kill a Spider by ToxiNeena reviews
Because, really, who threw a shoe in hopes of killing a spider, and not only missed it, but somehow broke her nose in the process? Well, her. That was who.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,916 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 57 - Follows: 7 - Published: 5/11/2012 - Sakura H., Sasuke U. - Complete
Why You No Like Oreo's! by Joja-Lee reviews
In which Sakura is horrified to find out that Sasuke does not like Oreos. Oneshot. Short.
Naruto - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,351 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 1 - Published: 4/28/2012 - Team Seven - Complete
All Mighty Weasel Army by NizumiIsACookie0.0 reviews
A dream my friend once had. I turned it into a short story. It's kinda random, though.
Naruto - Rated: K - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 364 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 2 - Published: 4/4/2012 - Itachi U., Sasori - Complete
Tobi's Costume by WGDWriter reviews
Halloween is here and Tobi wants to go trick or treating. The only person who can go with him is his Sempai, but something is keeping Deidara from wanting to look at Tobi directly.
Naruto - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,819 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 8 - Published: 3/9/2012 - Obito U./Tobi, Deidara - Complete
Nights With You by phyllodulcin reviews
Post-series story. As fate would allow it, she would meet him again. However, will her feelings carry over to him like she always wished? She knew that being with him was out of the question, but on lonely, rainy nights...Rated R for lemon, language
Samurai Champloo - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 3 - Words: 15,593 - Reviews: 43 - Favs: 124 - Follows: 49 - Updated: 4/25/2011 - Published: 1/14/2010 - Fuu, Mugen - Complete
Indignities by at-kb reviews
"Matsumoto, do you remember what happened when I ate that piece of cake from the Shinigami Women's Association bake sale?" Poor Hitsugaya. It always seems to happen to him, doesn't it? *Parody/crack!*
Bleach - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 513 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 26 - Published: 10/30/2010 - T. Hitsugaya, R. Matsumoto - Complete
Desperation by Featherz reviews
The Shinigami Women's Association will do whatever it takes.
Bleach - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 183 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 1 - Published: 10/4/2010 - Rukia K., Renji A. - Complete
Kinks and Prospects of Violence by frozenpixie reviews
Matsumoto tries to get Nemu to write a personal ad for the Shinigami Women's Association Magazine. Grimmjow thinks he's found his perfect woman. Brief, weird and slightly cracky.
Bleach - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 846 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 25 - Follows: 4 - Published: 4/12/2010 - Nemu K., Grimmjow J. - Complete
Breathe by RaineArilan reviews
One-shot. Was it true? Was it possible? Could such an event have truly occurred in the history of this glorious planet known as Earth! Indeed! Indeed, for who else was I but Ayame Sohma! No warnings.
Fruits Basket - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 400 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 1 - Published: 9/16/2009 - Ayame S., Hatori S. - Complete
Of Firemen and Pyromaniacs by dances.with.sunflowers reviews
Wherein three girls discuss the biggest news in all of Konoha. Beware, the fan girls go crazy when Sasuke dear starts dating. SASU/SAKU
Naruto - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,702 - Reviews: 40 - Favs: 163 - Follows: 15 - Published: 10/11/2008 - Sasuke U., Sakura H. - Complete
Only Once in a Lifetime by MidniteHearts reviews
In the episode of SC, we all know that Jin went to see the prostitue Kohana often. So wat were Mugen & Fuu doing when he was gone? ONE SHOT LEMON!
Samurai Champloo - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,200 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 25 - Follows: 2 - Published: 5/7/2008 - Complete
Bleed For You by Vela Lacaille reviews
30 short looks at a relationship that is anything but peaceful and uncomplicated. In fact, with a love like this, who needs enemies? FuuxMugen. Complete.
Samurai Champloo - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,349 - Reviews: 53 - Favs: 188 - Follows: 12 - Published: 10/1/2007 - Complete
Slave Girl by laurabryannan1 reviews
Requested by a pal with oral interests, Fuu shares about her favorite game. Set post Homecoming 4. Mostly MuFuu, but OT3 too.
Samurai Champloo - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,212 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 2 - Published: 8/4/2007 - Mugen, Fuu - Complete
What Happened To You? by Lunarwench reviews
Mugen discovers Fuu at yet another brothel. He'll save her, but what if Fuu doesn't want to be saved? Something is wrong with Fuu. Mugen wants to figure out what happened to the fiery girl he fell for so long ago. MugenFuu, LEMON.
Samurai Champloo - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 10 - Words: 23,195 - Reviews: 87 - Favs: 173 - Follows: 35 - Updated: 7/9/2007 - Published: 6/25/2007 - Fuu, Mugen - Complete
Can't Take It With You by DeathIsOnlyTheBeginin reviews
Fire rained from the sky, scattering ashes across a blood red ground, broken steel speckled across the withered grass. And there he stood, bleeding for her, and she could only sob and agree to hurt him. FuuMug
Samurai Champloo - Rated: M - English - Tragedy/Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 8,724 - Reviews: 59 - Favs: 76 - Follows: 13 - Updated: 12/14/2006 - Published: 12/9/2006 - Complete
Treatise on the Price of Sugar in the Edo Period by Sintari reviews
Nothing can be too good for you if you've never wanted it anyway. MugenFuu.
Samurai Champloo - Rated: M - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,951 - Reviews: 38 - Favs: 145 - Follows: 6 - Published: 9/5/2006 - Complete
Three is Company by laurabryannan1 reviews
Fuu seeks a certain kind of adventure and Jin shares how he and Mugen grant her wish. Set postHomecoming 4. Threesome. DP.
Samurai Champloo - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,170 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 32 - Follows: 3 - Published: 8/3/2006 - Complete
Isolated Interlude by Identity-Unknown reviews
Mugen gives Fuu an offer she should refuse but doesn't. Lemon Warning! Painfully honest, no fluff or 'ILoveYou's'. Rating for Mugen's incredibly foul mouth and...other stuff.Hee. MugenFuu Mature readers only!
Samurai Champloo - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,905 - Reviews: 34 - Favs: 73 - Follows: 4 - Published: 5/20/2006 - Complete
Dealing With Death by nimblnymph reviews
How does someone who's never killed before deal with death? And how do others help with this guilt? It's gonna be 3 chapters long, one for each of them. It's MA, but if you feel it's too high, let me know! COMPLETE! The last 4 chappies are up!
Samurai Champloo - Rated: M - English - Angst/Drama - Chapters: 4 - Words: 4,257 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 2/23/2006 - Published: 2/7/2006 - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Alice Human Sacrifice reviews
In this intriguing take on the Vocaloid song "Alice Human Sacrifice", Len tells his sister Rin about Tweedledee and Tweedledum, twin Gothic Lolita girls who skillfully reveal the twisted tale of Underland. In the eerie, lonely halls of Underland, they tell the story of the Alices who came before. Rated T to be safe, for mild horror and thematic elements.
Vocaloid - Rated: T - English - Horror/Parody - Chapters: 6 - Words: 4,628 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 1 - Published: 3/22/2014 - Miku H., Rin K., Len K. - Complete
This is An Average ItaSaku reviews
An average ItaSaku, totally normal... or is it? Itachi awakes to find his contract breached, tied to his tree by a sour pink-haired adversary. Usually it's the other way around, isn't it? Time for Sakura to take her revenge. Rated T for some suggestive speech. ;)
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,867 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 2 - Published: 3/22/2014 - Itachi U., Sakura H. - Complete
Twas the Night Before Christmas reviews
Twas the night before Christmas, in Seireitei. ... I know it's been done before, but I had to give it a shot! Everyone knows the poem, and apparently you know the anime, and they are really, really messed up together, but at least there's a little KenpachiXUnohana that I know you love... so read and review, please? Many thanks!
Bleach - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 527 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 2 - Published: 12/25/2012 - K. Zaraki, Shunsui K. - Complete
Thoughts reviews
In seconds, Toshiro took in the image before him of his childhood friend lying in a pool of her own blood. In seconds, his eyes widened. A lifetime of thoughts runs through his memories, stabbing painfully at every opportunity. This was his best friend… and it was his fault that this had happened. It was his fault because he was weak – too weak to protect the one he loved.
Bleach - Rated: K+ - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,019 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 1 - Published: 12/1/2012 - T. Hitsugaya, M. Hinamori - Complete
He Won't DIE reviews
Midnight can't help but really, really hate the lead protagonist, who just won't seem to die. Even as Midnight goes falling off the edge, he can't help but curse Natsu Dragneel from below. Somehow he would contact those writers and make them pay... One-shot, Midnight and Natsu, T for mostly-bleeped language. :P
Fairy Tail - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 386 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 2 - Published: 11/12/2012 - Midnight/Macbeth, Natsu D.
Taboo reviews
4'6" Hisoka Mizutani is the new Naruto, bane of teachers everywhere, with a dirty mouth, below-the-belt fighting techniques, and a violent pastime of getting into fights with whoever calls her short, kid, child, little girl, you name it. Gaara of the Desert, the Kazekage, tries to understand her – but will an injury prevent Hisoka from ever even graduating the Academy?
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 5 - Words: 16,870 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 2 - Published: 8/1/2012 - Gaara, Iruka U. - Complete
Brighter Day reviews
A schizophrenic Unpopular named Ayumu has stumbled upon the Sohma curse as well as taken a liking to Hatsuharu. Hopefully she'll make it out without losing her memory of the curse and her crush… but then again, Akito hasn't been known to give up so easily. Rated T for some mild language and mild suggestive dialogue.
Fruits Basket - Rated: T - English - Humor/Supernatural - Chapters: 4 - Words: 12,392 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 1 - Published: 7/30/2012 - Hatsuharu S., Akito S. - Complete
If Gaara Was a Mayfly
Yes, it's random. Yes, it's absurd… and yet the idea still puzzles me. Would this be what life would be like for the Sand Village Chunin if they were all mayflies living out their quiet twenty-four hour lives in peace, solitude, and cheesy pickup lines? Yes, be afraid... be very afraid. This is what happens before every bug bite.
Naruto - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 794 - Favs: 4 - Published: 7/16/2012 - Complete
Remnants reviews
Hinata Hyuuga is seeing a ghostly image in reflective surfaces. Can she unravel the mystery of this ghost girl apparition, or is it just her mind playing tricks on her? And does it have anything to do with an old necklace, or is it just a coincidence? Rated T for some violence, brief language, mild suggestive material, and slightly disturbing mental images. Naru/Hina pairing.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Supernatural/Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 17,024 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 3 - Published: 7/14/2012 - Hinata H., Naruto U. - Complete
If the Shoe Fits reviews
You are now reading a lesson on how to write a good story, beginning with none other than the beginning. For the purpose of this experiment, we shall use a Cinderella spin-off Naruto fan fiction as the story line, because spin-offs are, let's face it, a lot of fun. You should be fully stocked with rotten fruit before beginning this book. I will be saying I told you so.
Naruto - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 5,527 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 4 - Published: 7/8/2012 - Sakura H., Sasuke U. - Complete
Making Love to the Camera reviews
Yumichika Ayasegawa of Squad 11 is lonely at night when he finds the one object he considers to be nearly as beautiful as he – a camera, placed in his room for the Shinigami Women's Association's own devilish reasons. Yumichika could give you all a lesson on how to make love to a camera.
Bleach - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,173 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 2 - Published: 7/8/2012 - Yumichika A., Yachiru K. - Complete
Warrior Maid reviews
AU. Sasuke Uchiha, second son of the king and heir to the throne of Konoha, must be kept in the dark about his banished and sullen older brother's attempts on his life. His somewhat mysterious new personal maid full of uncalled-for dry humor and wit is there to help, but when Itachi comes for Sasuke himself, even his maid may not be able to protect him.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 14,138 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 7/3/2012 - Published: 6/25/2012 - Sasuke U., Itachi U. - Complete
Poetry in Motion reviews
A budding poet has traveled to Leaf Village in search of inspiration for her poetic masterpiece. She has decided that inspiration comes in the form of handsome Leaf Village ninja, and what better way to tap into that inspiration than to one-by-one challenge the skeptical villagers to marry her? Will everybody turn her down, or even worse; what if someone says yes?
Naruto - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Poetry - Chapters: 2 - Words: 7,802 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 1 - Published: 6/28/2012 - Sai - Complete
The Proof is in the Pudding reviews
In class 3-A, a Bleach fan explains to her fellow classmates why evolution from apes is impossible, using the characters from her favorite anime as proof. Seriously, Byakuya Kuchiki descended from an ape? I don't think so. Renji Abarai? …okay, maybe Renji.
Bleach - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,115 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 3 - Published: 6/7/2012 - Complete
The Kiss of Life reviews
Toshiro Hitsugaya is choking and there are no Squad 4 members to be seen! All he can do now is indirectly put his life into the hands of a horde of screaming fan girls who will stop at nothing to give him the kiss of life – one for each girl there.
Bleach - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 758 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 1 - Published: 6/7/2012 - T. Hitsugaya - Complete
Dear Diary reviews
The entries in the unassuming diary left by a little girl who supposedly died years ago in a house fire explains her crush on the Sand Village Jinchuriki. Now, Lord Gaara the Kazekage finds himself with the very same book in his hands and only just able to finish reading the heartbreaking story.
Naruto - Rated: K - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,786 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 3 - Published: 6/5/2012 - Gaara - Complete
Akatsuki Daycare reviews
Class 4-E had better get their parental instincts on, and quickly; because social studies end-of-semester test involves each team of two gets a plastic baby to care for. Among some of the pairings are Kakuzu and Hidan, Itachi Uchiha and Sakura, and Tobi and Deidara. Will they survive the week of horrors heading straight for them, or will the pressure get to them on the first day?
Naruto - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,123 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 7 - Published: 6/1/2012 - Obito U./Tobi, Deidara - Complete
Another Person's Shoes reviews
There's a well-know phrase that goes 'don't judge a person until you've walked a mile in their shoes.' This is so that, when you do judge them and they don't like your judgment, you're already a mile away – and you have their shoes. K plus for... awkward body-switching moments.
Bleach - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,304 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 7 - Published: 6/1/2012 - T. Hitsugaya, R. Matsumoto - Complete
Why Sugar Should Be Illegal reviews
Satomi Fujibayashi is sick of the antics of her five little brothers. However, neither Toshiro Hitsugaya nor Satomi expected them to take upon themselves the responsibility of Operation Lip-lock, a top-secret mission involving their older sister, a certain white-haired child prodigy, and a forced first kiss…
Bleach - Rated: T - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 4 - Words: 13,167 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 3 - Published: 5/31/2012 - T. Hitsugaya, R. Matsumoto - Complete
Breakaway reviews
The never-before-spoken-of behind the scenes Incident involving a timid Squad 11 girl who was able to best Captain Zaraki Kenpachi in a one-on-one duel using only her head and one hand; and she didn't even hit him with her head. Elementary, my dear Watson.
Bleach - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 946 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 2 - Published: 5/31/2012 - K. Zaraki, Yumichika A. - Complete
Mind Your Own Business reviews
Jun is on a top-secret deadly mission where everything is at stake. The mission? Make Byakuya Kuchiki crack up. When even Jun's infallible sense of humor seems to be unable to sway the stoic Kuchiki, can Jun make a comeback, or has it all gone to pot? Jun one-shot.
Bleach - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 912 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 5/31/2012 - Byakuya K., Uryuu I. - Complete
Campaign reviews
Head Captain Yamamoto has died, and now there is a question that the Soul Society must answer – who gets to be the next head captain? Rated T for Nanao's potty mouth and Matsumoto's… Matsumoto-ness.
Bleach - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 5,027 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 3 - Published: 5/25/2012 - Nanao I. - Complete
Ikkaku's Worst Nightmare reviews
Ikkaku's worst nightmare, simply because everyone has one; but his worst nightmare comes breezing in to make his life miserable – loving sister-style.
Bleach - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,841 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 3 - Published: 5/24/2012 - Ikkaku M., Yumichika A. - Complete
150 Questions reviews
Hello and welcome to the Konohagakure Friday Night Show, featuring our guest star, the teen heartthrob Sasuke Uchiha! My name is Kozue and I will be your host for tonight. Tonight we will be having a special little 20 Questions, but 150 of them, all for our dear guest star! First question...
Naruto - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,054 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Published: 5/22/2012 - Sasuke U. - Complete
Three Fan Girls reviews
Three fan girls, three fan girls, see how they run, see how they run. They ran to the marvelous Juuban-taicho, who got away mostly unscathed with no thanks to the three fan girls, three fan girls.
Bleach - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,551 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 2 - Published: 5/21/2012 - T. Hitsugaya - Complete
Talents reviews
There's an indoor fair at Karakura Town High School. Orihime Inoue is manning a fortune-telling booth, and everyone knows it's fake… so why is everything she predicts coming true? And where does bean jam come into the story?
Bleach - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,724 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 6 - Published: 5/18/2012 - Ichigo K., Orihime I. - Complete
Naruto Did What! reviews
Sasuke heard from Sakura who heard from Ino who heard from Choji who heard from Tenten who heard from Lee who heard from Guy Sensei who heard from Kakashi that Naruto has just bought a slave. Squad 7 one-shot.
Naruto - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 983 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 30 - Follows: 4 - Published: 5/18/2012 - Sasuke U., Sakura H. - Complete
Introduction To WEASEL reviews
Itachi is somehow stuck in our world and held at the mercy of a crazed fan girl/president of W.E.A.S.E.L. Will he survive, or will Twinkies and pink feathers get to him before he finds his way back to the world of Naruto? W.E.A.S.E.L. handbook included.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 6,729 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 5 - Published: 5/14/2012 - Itachi U. - Complete
The Itsy Bitsy Spider reviews
The itsy bitsy spider climbed up a tree so stout; Tobi saw it from the sky, and gave a little shout. Deidara saw the spider and said it wasn't cute, so the itsy bitsy spider is sulking in a boot. Deidara and Tobi one-shot. :P
Naruto - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 257 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 8 - Published: 5/12/2012 - Obito U./Tobi, Deidara - Complete
Bring Your Pets to Work Day reviews
It's 'Bring Your Pets to Work' Day; Akatsuki style. Tobi's often hints about his dear pet at home, so the Akatsuki all bring their pets to meet their coworkers. But what will happen when they find out that Tobi's dear pet… isn't an animal at all?
Naruto - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,632 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 17 - Published: 5/7/2012 - Akatsuki - Complete
Orchestrated Romance reviews
Someone save us all from Uryu Ishida's father's orchestrated romances! He has it in his mind that Uryu's study buddy Hikari Hoshino is Uryu's crush, when actually it's the other way around, so he steps in to give them that little push... written for Hikari'sLight.
Bleach - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,124 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 5 - Published: 5/3/2012 - Uryuu I. - Complete
These Tears I Cry reviews
I... just wanted to tell you something. Okay, a lot of somethings - bear with me, please. I wish you were here in person so that I didn't have to talk to a slab of rock, but I guess if you were here, I wouldn't be telling you all this...
Naruto - Rated: K - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 741 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 4 - Published: 5/2/2012 - Asuma S., Kurenai Y. - Complete
The Resilient One reviews
Hikari Hoshino and Rukia Kuchiki are on a mission - sneak into Uryu Ishida's house and get pictures for Hikari's Uryu Archives. Will they succeed, or be found out? Fan-fiction requested by Hikari'sLight.
Bleach - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,781 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 1 - Published: 4/26/2012 - Rukia K., Uryuu I. - Complete
Mind Your Manners reviews
Jun's back, and more impish than ever! Jun decides everyone needs a vacation, so they all head to the beach for a day of fun. But when a Hollow shows up and abducts Matsumoto, will Jun and the others be able to save her? Sequel to 'Mind Your Head.'
Bleach - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 6 - Words: 21,411 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 1 - Published: 4/9/2012 - Uryuu I., R. Matsumoto - Complete
Mind Your Head reviews
Soon after being introduced to a world of Soul Reapers and Hollows, Jun is kidnapped by a rogue shinigami and, to make matters worse, also has to save the life of a certain white-haired child prodigy. Will she succeed, or will she die trying? First book in the Jun Trilogy.
Bleach - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 6 - Words: 20,701 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 1 - Published: 3/22/2012 - T. Hitsugaya, Uryuu I. - Complete
The Circus Girl reviews
A famous circus has come to Leaf Village! Everyone is excited, especially when the main attraction is a pretty juggler names Kozue. But when a member of the troupe is murdered and evidence points to Kozue, can Neji prove her innocence? *My first ever book.*
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Mystery - Chapters: 5 - Words: 15,163 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 2 - Published: 3/21/2012 - Neji H. - Complete