BlackFireIsAlive
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Joined 03-16-12, id: 3824534, Profile Updated: 07-27-12
Author has written 4 stories for Mortal Instruments, and Maximum Ride.

My name is Claire or Clarabell as my friends like to call me. My eyes are green with gold flecks that apparently look like cats eyes. I have brown hair with blonde streaks a little past my shoulders.

6 REASONS NOT TO MESS WITH CHILDREN AND WHY THEY ARE CONSIDERED DIABOLICAL

1. A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.

The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.

The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.

The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah".

The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"

The little girl replied, "Then you ask him ".

2. A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.

The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."

The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like."

Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied,

"They will in a minute."

3. A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "honor" thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?"

Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, "Thou shall not kill."

4. One day, a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the sink. She suddenly notices that her mother had several strands of whitehair on her head. She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your hairs white, Momma?"

Her mother replied, "Well, every time you do something to make me sad or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white."

The little girl pondered this revelation for a while, then said, Momma, how come ALL of Grandma's hairs are white?"

5. The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.

"Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'that's Michael, He's a doctor.'

A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher, she's dead."

6. The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray:

"Take only ONE. God is watching."

Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.

A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."

List your twelve favorite Maximum Ride Characters in no particular order:

1. Max

2. Nudge

3. Fang

4.Iggy

5.Gazzy

6.Ella

7.Angel

8.Dr.M

9.Total

10.Jeb

11.Akila

12. Dylan

1) Have you ever read a six/eleven fanfic before?

Ella and Akila? um...no i cant say have

2) Do you think four is hot? How hot?

Iggy? well Fang is way hotter but Iggy is totally my second choice

3) What would happen if twelve got eight pregnant

Dylan and Dr.M um that is horrifying...if i was max i would fly far far away

4) Do you recall any fics about nine?

Total? um one i think but it was with Akila

5) Would two and six make a good couple?

Uh Nudge and Ella? EW! they could be best friends but...

6) Five/Nine or five/ten?

Gazzy and total? Gazzy and Jeb? no no no

7) What would happen if seven walked in on two and twelve making out?

Angel walking in on Nudge and Dylan? well i actually think they would be a cute couple but poor Angel

8 Make up a summary of a three/ten fanfic.

Fang and Jeb?Um...8 year old Fang just found out he has a crush on his best friend Max who else to turn to other then Jeb his father figure?

9) Is there any thing as one/eight fluff?

Max and Dr.M? um mother and daughter? wrong wrong!

10) Suggest a title for a seven/twelve hurt/comfort fic

Angel and Dylan? Angel needs a father figure when Fang leaves so she turns to Dylan but he is too focused on getting Max

11) What kind of plot would you use if you wanted four to de-flower one?

Max de-flowering Iggy? um...no answer

12) Does anyone on your friends list read three?

Fang? oh yeah!!!!!!!!

13) Does anyone on your friends list draw or write eleven?

Akila no sorry

14) Would anyone on your friends list write two/four/five?

Nudge Iggy and Gazzy? possibly!

15)What might ten scream at a great moment of passion?

Um I really don't know this one cuz I don't exactly know enough about jeb...

16)If you wrote a song fic about eight, what song would you use?

Dr.M? i honestly have no idea

17) If you wrote a one/six/twelve fic, what would the warning be?

Max Ella and Dylan? Warning: may contain minor swearing cause max is max

18) What would be a good pick up line for ten to use on two?

Jeb and Nudge? idk?

15 things to do at Walmart

1. Set all the alarm clocks in Electronics to go off at 5-minute intervals.

2. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

3 Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,
" 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.

4 Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

5 Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

6 Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

7 When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask,
"Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

8 Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

9 While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.

10 Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

11 In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.

12 Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through,
say "PICK ME!... Take me with you!!"(my favorite)

13 When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream..
"NO! NO! It's those voices again!"

14 Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!

15 Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "pikachu, I choose you!"

15 things to do at Walmart

1. Set all the alarm clocks in Electronics to go off at 5-minute intervals.

2. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

3 Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,
" 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.

4 Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

5 Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

6 Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

7 When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask,
"Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

8 Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

9 While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.

10 Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

11 In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.

12 Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through,
say "PICK ME!... Take me with you!!"

13 When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream..
"NO! NO! It's those voices again!"

14 Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!

15Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "pikachu, I choose you!"

A BEAUTIFUL STORY

A teenage girl about 17 named Diane had gone to visit some friends one evening and time passed quickly as each shared their various experiences of the past year. She ended up staying longer than planned, and had to walk home alone. She wasn't afraid because it was a small town and she lived only a few blocks away.

As she walked along under the tall elm trees, Diane asked God to keep her safe from harm and danger. When she reached the alley, which was a short cut to her house, she decided to take it. However, halfway down the alley she noticed a man standing at the end as though he were waiting for her. She became uneasy and began to pray, asking for God's protection. Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness and security wrapped round her, she felt as though someone was walking with her. When she reached the end of the alley, she walked right past the man and arrived home safely.

The following day, she read in the newspaper that a young girl had been raped in the same alley just twenty minutes after she had been there. Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and the fact that it could have been her, she began to weep. Thanking the Lord for her safety and to help this young woman, she decided to go to the police station. She felt she could recognize the man, so she told them her story. The police asked her if she would be willing to look at a lineup to see if she could identify him. She agreed and immediately pointed out the man she had seen in the alley the night before. When the man was told he had been identified, he immediately broke down and confessed. The officer thanked Diane for her bravery and asked if there was anything they could do for her. She asked if they would ask the man one question. Diane was curious as to why he had not attacked her. When the policeman asked him, he answered, "Because she wasn't alone. She had two tall men walking on either side of her."

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this into your profile and add your name to the list: danyan, Zutara Lover, Black'n'red'butterfly, Enrica (i always change my penname)(tehehehe) PurpleBunniesWillRuleTheWorld, Roxxi-and-Ali, IsabellaMarieSwan123, Paper Hearts and Paper Cuts, mahalo4ursupport, Kuro Uchiha, inuyasha1106, kamiry, VampireMistressNuricoUzumaki, Jasper's Delicate Angel, FAXfan, hakilund, Maximum-Ride-Addict22, Fangslittlegirl08, Blackice1234, BackFireIsAlive,

Do it one by one, don't look ahead!

1. Write the name of a person of the opposite gender.

Chase

2. Write down your favorite color out of yellow, red, black, blue, and green.

Green ( the color of my eyes)

3. Write down your first initial.

C

4. Write down your month of birth.

June

5. Write down the color you like more, black or white.

Black

6. Write down the name of a person the same gender as you.

Laurel my cuddlebuddy (long story which i will say at the end of this)

7. Write down your favorite number.

12

8. Write down your favorite: California or Florida.

Cali

9. Write down your favorite: lake or ocean.

Ocean

10. Write down a wish (a realistic one).

Have longer hair (i dont like my short hair)

Are you done? If so, scroll down.

(Don't cheat!)

1. You are completely in love with this person.

2. If you chose...

Red: You are alert and your life is full of love.

Black: You are conservative and aggressive.

Green: Your soul is relaxed, and you are laid back.

Blue: You are spontaneous and love kisses and affection from the one you love.

Yellow: You are a very happy person and give good advice to those who are down.

3. If your initial is...

A-K: You have a lot of love and friendships in your life.

L-R: You try to enjoy life to the maximum and your love life is soon to blossom.

S-Z: You like to help others and your future love life looks very good.

4. If you were born in...

Jan-Mar: This year will be very well for you and you will discover that you fall in love with someone totally unexpected.

Apr-June: You will have a strong love relationship that will not last long but the memories will last forever.

July-Sept: You will have a great year and will experience a major life changing experience for the better.

Oct-Dec: Your love life will not be too great, but eventually you will find your soul mate.

5. If you chose...

Black: Your life will take on a different direction; it will seem hard at the time but will be the best thing for you and you will be glad for the change.

White: You will have a friend who completely confides in you and would do anything for you but you may not realize it.

6. This person is your best friend.

7. This is how many close friends you have in a lifetime.

8. If you chose...

California: You like adventure.

Florida: You are a laid back person.

9. If you chose...

Lake: You are loyal to your friends and your love. You are also very reserved.

Ocean: You are spontaneous and like to please people.

10. This wish will only come true if you close your eyes turn to the right and count to 10 slowly then open your eyes and scream," My beautiful pet unicorn just stole my rainbow!"post your pen name especially if someone else was in the room!

BlackFireIsAlive:My dad just bit his lip and said,"you have fun with that." then turned back to his laptop:D


MAXIMUM RIDE FAN QUESTIONS:

1. Do you think Iggy is hot?

yes but he does not compare to fang

2. Did you cry when Ari died?

no i was still mad at him for all the mean things he said

3. Do you think Fang is hot?

hmmm...well duh yes yes

4. How do you pronounce Ari's name?

Are-ree

5. Do you laugh every time you read the name Mr. Chu?

no just when i picture him as maxs discription

6. -SPOILER ALERT- In MAX, did you laugh hysterically when Total started talking about marriage?

I made a genuine WTH? face, and kept reading

7. -SPOILER ALERT- Did you squeal at all the faxness in MAX?

Definetely! I had been waiting for that since when we were introduced to Fang!... Go FAX!!!!!!!!

8. Did you angrily throw your book across the room when the flock split up?

I think i way have cried the first time them almost ripped apart my book or should i say my brothers book...

9. Who is your favorite character?

Fang or possibly Iggy

10. Do you like Jeb?

no i HATE him

11. -SPOILER ALERT- Were you making a genuine "WTH"face when Max and Fang grew gills?

Oh yeah... it took me a couple chapters before i got it

12. Did you think MAX was better than TFW?

Yeah, I didn't like TFW it was a filler

13. -SPOILER ALERT- Did you get slightly fed up with Nudge and Angel's slight attitudes in MAX?

I just wanted angel to die a very painful death then kill max the same way when she forgives angel!

14. Which book is your all time favorite?

Max or Fang

15. If the flock had a theme song, what would it be?

I guess I can imagine Max or Nudge singing Breakaway or max singing to fang apoligize after he left

16. Have you ever imagined the flock as a band playing whatever song comes up when listening to your iPod?

YES!!!!!!!!!

17. Who do you think the voice should be?

nino pierpiont the rich sponser

18. Do you think one or more members of the flock should learn to play an instrument?

Iggy should play the drums... And Fang a guitarist :)

19. What bugged you the most about TFW?

Brigid and fang

20. MIGGY or FAX?

Well I like Fang more way more but Iggy is my second choice NO MYLAN!

Fun Stuff to do in an elevator:

1) CRACK open your briefcase or handbag,
peer Inside and ask "Got enough air in
there?"

2) STAND silent and motionless in the
corner facing the wall without getting off.

3) WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt
and strain to yank the doors open, then
act as if you're embarrassed when they
open themselves.

4) GREET everyone with a warm handshake
and ask him or her to call you Admiral.

5) MEOW occasionally.

6) STARE At another passenger for a
while. Then announce in horror: "You're
one of THEM" - and back away slowly

7) SAY -DING at each floor.

8) SAY "I wonder what all these do?" And
push all the red buttons.

9) MAKE explosion noises when anyone
presses a button.

10) STARE, grinning at another passenger
for a while, then announce: "I have new
socks on."

11) WHEN the elevator is silent, look
around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"

12) TRY to make personal calls on the
emergency phone.

13) DRAW a little square on the floor
with chalk and announce to the other
passengers: "This is my personal space."

14) WHEN there's only one other person
in the elevator, tap them on the
shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.

15) PUSH the buttons and pretend they
give you a shock. Smile, and go back for
more.

16) ASK if you can push the button for
other people but push the wrong ones.

17) HOLD the doors open and say you're
waiting for your friend. After a while,
let the doors close and say "Hi Greg,
How's your day been?"

18) DROP a pen and wail until someone
reaches to help pick it up, then scream:
"That's mine!"

19) BRING a camera and take pictures of
everyone in the lift.

20) PRETEND you're a flight attendant
and review emergency procedures and
exits with the Passengers.

21) SWAT at flies that don't exist.

22) CALL out "Group hug" then enforce it.

Fun Stuff to do I an elevator:

1) CRACK open your briefcase or handbag,
peer Inside and ask "Got enough air in
there?"

2) STAND silent and motionless in the
corner facing the wall without getting off.

3) WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt
and strain to yank the doors open, then
act as if you're embarrassed when they
open themselves.

4) GREET everyone with a warm handshake
and ask him or her to call you Admiral.

5) MEOW occasionally.

6) STARE At another passenger for a
while. Then announce in horror: "You're
one of THEM" - and back away slowly

7) SAY -DING at each floor.

8) SAY "I wonder what all these do?" And
push all the red buttons.

9) MAKE explosion noises when anyone
presses a button.

10) STARE, grinning at another passenger
for a while, then announce: "I have new
socks on."

11) WHEN the elevator is silent, look
around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"

12) TRY to make personal calls on the
emergency phone.

13) DRAW a little square on the floor
with chalk and announce to the other
passengers: "This is my personal space."

14) WHEN there's only one other person
in the elevator, tap them on the
shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.

15) PUSH the buttons and pretend they
give you a shock. Smile, and go back for
more.

16) ASK if you can push the button for
other people but push the wrong ones.

17) HOLD the doors open and say you're
waiting for your friend. After a while,
let the doors close and say "Hi Greg,
How's your day been?"

18) DROP a pen and wail until someone
reaches to help pick it up, then scream:
"That's mine!"

19) BRING a camera and take pictures of
everyone in the lift.

20) PRETEND you're a flight attendant
and review emergency procedures and
exits with the Passengers.

21) SWAT at flies that don't exist.

22) CALL out "Group hug" then enforce it.

Take Time To Read Each Sentence

This is this cat

This is is cat

This is how cat

This is to cat

This is keep cat

This is a cat

This is retard cat

This is busy cat

This is for cat

This is forty cat

This is seconds cat

Now read the THIRD word of every line

I'M A SPECIAL CHILD AND PROUD OF IT!!!!!!!!!!!

FEEL FREE TO PM ME WHENEVER YOU WANT!!!!! I GET LONELY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The inside joke of cuddlebuddy is: me and my friend Laurel (FrozenCrown) were having a tickle fight and when we stopped I was practically sitting on her, well my mom walked out right then and she asked why I was on top of her and I replied that we were cuddlebuddies and she freaked out so we now call each other cuddlebuddies! lol

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Golden Souls reviews
There is a demon attack at the Institute and the gang needs to go to the Hawaiian Institute to find their parents. Clary is getting visits from Sebastion and when Jace finds out... well he gets a little protective...we all love over protective Jace! Shadowhunters, and J/C, S/I, A/M!
Mortal Instruments - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 10 - Words: 5,344 - Reviews: 43 - Favs: 32 - Follows: 62 - Updated: 4/15/2013 - Published: 5/27/2012 - Jace W., Clary F.
Kidnapped Princess reviews
Adopted from maximumriedfan111.Max is the princess of Italy and is forced into an arranged marriage, on the night of her engagement party, she is kidnapped. Her kidnapper tells her they were only protecting her from someone else. But, what happens when she starts to fall for her kidnapper? NO WINGS! FAX! ANGST.
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 9 - Words: 5,919 - Reviews: 36 - Favs: 24 - Follows: 39 - Updated: 4/5/2013 - Published: 6/20/2012 - Fang, Max
The Academy reviews
Previously Performing Academy, adopted from maximumridefan111! Max, and the flock go to a academy together. Jealousy and a 2 week long trip that may just result in... FAX! NO WINGS
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 7 - Words: 4,174 - Reviews: 29 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 19 - Updated: 9/10/2012 - Published: 6/20/2012 - Fang, Max
Along for the ride reviews
Maximum Ride moves from Virginia to Arizona and meets Fang and the rest of the flock at her high school. Fang and her become best friends but a plan Max makes might end whatever they had...FAX! And throw in a crazy ex-boyfriend and all the guys at school pining for her love, what's she gonna do?NO WINGS!
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Romance - Chapters: 7 - Words: 5,552 - Reviews: 41 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 15 - Updated: 7/30/2012 - Published: 5/28/2012 - Fang, Max