Classy Cynic
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Joined 03-16-12, id: 3825784, Profile Updated: 10-21-14

Ummm...what exactly am I supposed to write here? Oh, what? Okay. Let's try that idea...

ABOUT ME: I'm a rather generic guy who generally enjoys writing in his free time, but rarely ever finishes anything due to a lack of ideas and commitment (mostly the latter, to be honest). Due to this, I'm probably never going to post anything on here.

I greatly enjoy video games and have a particular fondness for Dark Souls and the Elder Scrolls.

Since my parents were too cheap to get cable, I grew up watching cop shows on TV instead of cartoons and the like. Go figure.


FAVORITE GAMES: DARK SOULS, The Elder Scrolls series, Battlefield, Prototype, Mass Effect

FAVORITE MUSIC GROUPS: Two Steps From Hell, Evans Blue, The Silent Comedy (trailer music and rock)

FAVORITE TV SHOWS: NCIS, House M.D., Hawaii Five-0, etc.

FAVORITE ANIME: Don't really watch anime that much, but Shingeki no Kyojin/Attack on Titan is pretty cool.

FAVORITE CHARACTERS: Alex Mercer (Prototype), Chosen Undead (Dark Souls), Annie Leonhardt (Attack on Titan)


QUOTES TO LIVE BY:

"Sure, you're entitled to your opinion, no matter how wrong you are." -- Ralph Carl Eichelberger

"Two roads diverged in a yellow wood and I - I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference." -- Robert Frost

"That means Sir Issac Newton is the deadliest son-of-a-bitch in space!" -- Unnamed Gunnery Chief, Mass Effect


STORIES:

Nope.

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Still Not A Hero by Soleneus reviews
or Hero 2:Hero Harder I've spent three years preparing for Saren and Sovereign, and now it's time to put the first of my plans into action. All of which involve me, fighting in war. A war against a murderous alien intelligence. A war against impossible odds. A war I put myself right in the middle of...on purpose...I wonder what sanity's like? It must be nice, but it sounds boring.
Mass Effect - Rated: M - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 20 - Words: 89,823 - Reviews: 396 - Favs: 519 - Follows: 584 - Updated: 5/3 - Published: 1/17 - Shepard (F), Liara T'Soni, U. Wrex, OC
The Last Spartan by DinoJake reviews
An AU fic in which the Halo and ME universes share the same galaxy. After a well deserved rest in Cryo-Sleep, Master Chief finally awakens...to a whole new galaxy.
Crossover - Halo & Mass Effect - Rated: T - English - Sci-Fi/Adventure - Chapters: 49 - Words: 452,319 - Reviews: 3129 - Favs: 2,654 - Follows: 2,678 - Updated: 2/21 - Published: 5/2/2010 - Master Chief/John-117
The Life by casquis reviews
The Great War was a long one, millions made it, more didn't. Frank is an ODST, a human just like us, that has managed to survive the most grueling battles for years. With so much experience under his belt he has some amazing stories to tell. This are the life stories of an immature, not-all-in-there, and talented Marine just living, fighting, and being plain badass during the war.
Halo - Rated: T - English - Sci-Fi/Adventure - Chapters: 230 - Words: 1,622,859 - Reviews: 2306 - Favs: 505 - Follows: 442 - Updated: 12/12/2014 - Published: 6/20/2011 - Complete
Shingeki no Kyojin: Titanfall by Salaeren reviews
After much deliberation, Eren Jaeger steels himself and chooses to believe in his friends. The mysteries of the world are unveiled to him, and he finds the strength to say what must be said. To do what must be done. Together with his Warrior friends, Eren must stand against the Titans. And he smiles, for now they will fear him in return...as the vessel of an ancient god.
Shingeki no Kyojin/進撃の巨人 - Rated: T - English - Romance/Horror - Chapters: 14 - Words: 56,627 - Reviews: 277 - Favs: 470 - Follows: 583 - Updated: 11/4/2014 - Published: 7/11/2013 - [Eren Y., Annie L.] Reiner B., Bertolt H.
I Found You by UncrewedCandy29 reviews
"He had seen her before, on one of his trips there. Back then he remember her sitting quietly in the corner of her beige coloured room. She never spoke to anyone, only nodded and shocked her head when necessary." Eren x Annie. One-shot. Modern AU.
Shingeki no Kyojin/進撃の巨人 - Rated: K+ - English - Friendship/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 787 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 5 - Published: 10/15/2014 - [Eren Y., Annie L.] - Complete
Alliance Personnel File: LCDR SHEPARD, J by FluffyCannibal reviews
Shepard survived the Crucible. These are the Alliance files charting his time spent recovering in hospital. COMEDY, not to be taken too seriously. **WARNING** Shepard has hacked my account and is replying to all reviews. Proceed with caution.
Mass Effect - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 25 - Words: 17,701 - Reviews: 137 - Favs: 205 - Follows: 199 - Updated: 9/22/2014 - Published: 5/30/2013 - Shepard (M)
Apocalypse Now by Asmarath reviews
During the old republic, a team of scientists discover an extinct civilization on an unknown world far out in the outer rim. By accident, the scientists unleash the greatest predator the galaxy has ever seen. Beware, because Alex Mercer is hungry.
Crossover - Star Wars & Prototype - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 25 - Words: 66,769 - Reviews: 476 - Favs: 648 - Follows: 733 - Updated: 6/17/2014 - Published: 5/14/2012 - Revan, Alex M./Zeus
Note by shattered petal reviews
And I'll wait for you. -Eren/Annie
Shingeki no Kyojin/進撃の巨人 - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,298 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 6 - Published: 3/13/2014 - [Annie L., Eren Y.] - Complete
Throw by jellyjay reviews
She throws him over his shoulder like he's nothing more than a bag of potatoes, and it blows his mind in more ways than one. [cover art by tumblr user nartuouzuamkis].
Shingeki no Kyojin/進撃の巨人 - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 21 - Words: 44,768 - Reviews: 250 - Favs: 241 - Follows: 179 - Updated: 3/6/2014 - Published: 10/18/2013 - [Eren Y., Annie L.] Mikasa A., Armin A. - Complete
And the Stars Fall Down by jellyjay reviews
He had hoped they would have more time but he'd left it for too long, and now this is it. This is all they'll have. At least until next time. And there will be a next time. He can promise that.
Shingeki no Kyojin/進撃の巨人 - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,332 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 9 - Published: 2/13/2014 - Eren Y., Annie L. - Complete
Take It by xBlueCrossFirex reviews
Eren and Annie musings.
Shingeki no Kyojin/進撃の巨人 - Rated: T - English - Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,479 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 4 - Published: 12/29/2013 - Eren Y., Annie L. - Complete
Mass Effect: Twas the night before Christmas by Janizary reviews
Christmas Eve, 2185. At the galactic core the Dirty Dozen assault the Collector Base. Changing up the poem for smiles (hopefully).
Mass Effect - Rated: K - English - Humor/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 2 - Words: 916 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 12/18/2013 - Published: 12/13/2012 - Shepard (M) - Complete
Family Doesn't End With Blood by ColossusProblematic reviews
After he awakens to find his life upended and his friends scattered, Shepard continues the struggle against the hidden enemies that threaten the galaxy while he tries to reclaim the family he lost. M for language, violence, adult content. Being progressively rewritten as new chapters are added.
Mass Effect - Rated: M - English - Sci-Fi/Romance - Chapters: 29 - Words: 214,381 - Reviews: 223 - Favs: 257 - Follows: 289 - Updated: 9/25/2013 - Published: 7/8/2012 - Shepard (M), Tali'Zorah
Dragons by Annonimous4862 reviews
For a brief amount of time, the hermit remembered, and he felt he had to do something... and perhaps he did. But then he forgot, and just returned to his questions.
Crossover - Inheritance Cycle & Elder Scroll series - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 19 - Words: 160,367 - Reviews: 696 - Favs: 780 - Follows: 820 - Updated: 9/5/2013 - Published: 9/16/2012 - Eragon S., Dragonborn/Dovahkiin
After the Fires Fade by Laluzi reviews
Two months after the catastrophe, Alex Mercer is just trying to find his own niche in the world. Old secrets and new enemies are determined to make things hectic again… luckily, he wasn't that fond of the peaceful life anyway. -Disregards Prototype 2.
Prototype - Rated: T - English - Horror/Suspense - Chapters: 16 - Words: 142,643 - Reviews: 317 - Favs: 378 - Follows: 353 - Updated: 8/29/2013 - Published: 10/9/2011 - Alex M./Zeus, Dana M.
Just a matter of perspective by Kanae-88 reviews
As it turns out, flirting is a matter of perspective; it's just rotten luck Eren doesn't seem to know the first thing about it. — Eren/Annie.
Shingeki no Kyojin/進撃の巨人 - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,996 - Reviews: 36 - Favs: 140 - Follows: 28 - Published: 7/7/2013 - Eren Y., Annie L. - Complete
Cloak and Dagger by Metrophor reviews
Thanks to a certain Daedric Prince of Revelry, a perpetually-angry master thief, and an easily-sidetracked idiot of a Dragonborn, the trip to Snow Veil Sanctum doesn't go quite as planned. Shenanigans -and sweetrolls- ensue. (Minor spoilers for the Thieves Guild questline.)
Elder Scroll series - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 11 - Words: 16,783 - Reviews: 25 - Favs: 73 - Follows: 9 - Published: 9/26/2012 - Dragonborn/Dovahkiin, Mercer Frey - Complete
What Happens on the Normandy by Hyliian reviews
A series of one-shots taking place in the "Consuming Direct Control" universe between Alex and various members of the crew. Set during various points of the ME2 timeline, before the final mission.
Crossover - Mass Effect & Prototype - Rated: T - English - Sci-Fi/Adventure - Chapters: 8 - Words: 11,985 - Reviews: 126 - Favs: 220 - Follows: 176 - Updated: 7/18/2012 - Published: 7/17/2012 - Alex M./Zeus
Consuming Direct Control by Hyliian reviews
With nothing left for him in the galaxy but empty space and idle time, Alex Mercer finds himself recruited in Commander Shepard's fight against the Collectors. DISCONTINUED.
Crossover - Mass Effect & Prototype - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 44 - Words: 86,162 - Reviews: 1147 - Favs: 1,593 - Follows: 1,189 - Updated: 6/6/2012 - Published: 4/27/2012 - Shepard (F), Alex M./Zeus - Complete
Friends Like These by ElectricZ reviews
ME2- Tali notices Commander Shepard behaving strangely and fearing Cerberus influence enlists the other members of the original Normandy crew to investigate. Garrus, Tali, Joker, Chakwas and Shepard.
Mass Effect - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 11,198 - Reviews: 74 - Favs: 385 - Follows: 75 - Updated: 6/26/2011 - Published: 6/16/2011 - Garrus V., Tali'Zorah, Joker, Dr. Chakwas - Complete
To Kill a Monster by Inuluvr reviews
To kill a monster, you must become one. That's what led me to the night I finally faced him. The night I finally tracked down Alex Mercer. Heller's POV. M for language and violence. No pairings. Written before P2 came out
Prototype - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,641 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 29 - Follows: 5 - Published: 1/1/2011 - James H., Alex M./Zeus - Complete
Red Line by Naniris reviews
Taggart was a source of much rage for Alex Mercer. More so than anyone else.
Prototype - Rated: T - English - Horror/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 768 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 2 - Published: 11/28/2010 - Alex M./Zeus - Complete
Frankenstein's Monster by Naniris reviews
As the game progressed, it seemed that Alex Mercer worried more and more if he was doing the right thing. In this fic, we explore how the mesh of thousands of minds molds his own.
Prototype - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,493 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 135 - Follows: 17 - Published: 1/10/2010 - Alex M./Zeus - Complete
The Fanfiction Testament by Araloth the Random reviews
*MEFA 2010 nominee!* And from the LoTR Obsessants proceedeth the Fanfiction writers. But not all were true to Canon, and thus there was much flaming and strife among them. And Legolas spake unto the fangirls. . .
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 5 - Words: 4,914 - Reviews: 203 - Favs: 170 - Follows: 23 - Updated: 10/1/2009 - Published: 5/24/2009 - Complete