CoolRhino
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Joined 03-23-12, id: 3844329, Profile Updated: 05-11-12

I am currently writing The Curse of Gaia http://www.fanfiction.net/s/8023769/1/Curse_of_Gaia# with Glitter Puppy (my friend) so pleasssse read and review! It means the world to us! Suggestions and Constructive Critism is welcome! Please PM me with any Questions, Comments and/or for a friendly Chat! :D

I love PJO, Hunger Games and Harry Potter!

I love Music! I love American Idol, The Vioce, Americas Got Talent, and So you think you can dance!

I used to have the Beiber Fever, now I have the 1 Direction Infection, and I'm over the Mindless (behavior) Virus.

How to write Romance/Humor/Adventure:

By Cool Rhino

When writing a story like this, its best to know the begging and the end.

Then Identify all the large events in between.

Then the little ones.

It should look like a time line.

Then you start writing and focus on getting to the next event.

Add humor and reread stuff over and over.

That's what I do.

If your having a writers block try to add another character or have the characters find a note, that changes the plot and opens up more things to write about.

The time line becomes a plot line and is always in improv

Hope this helps!

You Know You’re Obsessed With Percy Jackson When…

You go to the Empire State Building and you ask for the 600th Floor.

Every time you use the Internet, you thank Hermes.

When you see Harry Potter, you think of Percy with glasses.

You burn food to see if it smells good.

You see an owl, you go, “Hi Athena!”

You’re in a running/swimming race and you’re praying and sacrificing to Hermes/Poseidon.

You think that your favorite singer is a child of Apollo.

Someone close to you dies and you give them money (LOTS of it) just in case…

Everyone else is creating a Twilight family and you create a PJO family.

You go on a cruise and you hope the boat isn’t The Princess Andromeda…

You’re on a boat and you pray that Poseidon is in a good mood.

You’re in the air (hang-gliding, cliff-diving, bungee jumping, flying, in a plane, etc.) and you hope Zeus is in a good mood and won’t blast you out of the air.

You go to Aunty Em’s and say you’re camera shy.

You find your true love and thank Aphrodite for sending him/her to you

You know Muse is the best singers. Get it, the Nine Muses??

Bring a blue plastic hairbrush with you everywhere.

When it gets really cold randomly, blame Kronos.

You get a Greek mythology calendar for Christmas

You get really mad at Hades when a family member dies.

You sometimes try to control water.

You don't read anything but PJO for 3 months.

You've gone to Google maps and looked up Camp Half-Blood’s address.

You carry a ballpoint pen in your pocket.

That everytime you pick up a pen, you think it'll turn into a sword.

Everytime you play dodgeball, you bring a suit of armor.

You go to San Fransisco looking for the Old Sea Man.

You find yourself praying to Poseidon for rain.

Whenever your internet slows down, you yell at the sky and say "HERMES! WHY DO YOU LOVE ANNOYING ME?!"

You pray to Athena when you don’t study for a math test.

And when you flunk said test, you blame her irritation on Percabeth

You start hearing Percabeth in every song you hear.

You curse a god/goddess a lot.

You have one (Or more) pictures relating to PJO in your room.

You know PJO better then most sane people. (Yupers)

At least half of your friends have read all the PJO, or are going to in the very near future

You wish you could find a rainbow and a golden drachma to see if Iris messages work

You give friends and youself a godly parent,

You are trying to learn Greek

You keep thinking about one of the PJO books when you go on a trip.

You think of Percy every time you see a dark haried green-eyed boy

You have an instant crush on Nico! (Hades NO!)

You just have to research more about greek mythology (Did that. Know everything now. )

You want to learn Latin.

You copy/paste this onto your profile

Most of your fics are PJO related, even if it is a cross over

You have taken every test you can find about what demigodly parent you would/should have, and your trying to get your friends to

You make sure all of your friends (Or most of them), have an idea about what you say when talking about PJO

Your friends (At least one), think you are obbsessed with PJO, and you agree (Duh!! I've been trying to get a bunch of my other friends to read it. Some of them have, and they love it :D)

You have one or more things related to PJO on your school stuff, and if someone asks you why, you tell them

You have something on your school things (Or home things), that says 'Daughter (Or son if you're a guy) of God/goddess', and you don't even try to hide it, even if it says daughter of Name of unliked god/goddess.

You’re nodding and smiling when you read this

You own every single book

You are planning on adding a lot more things to this list

You call yourself a demigod

You wish with every fibre of your being that the first page of The Lightning Theif told the truth, and the PJO series is real

You find yourself praying to a random god when you didn't study for a math test because you were too busy reading PJO

You've called someone you know a satyr.

You think the TLT poster in your room is a video camera, and they are secretly watching you.

Fail stuff found on products

On a bag of Fritos! "You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside." (the shoplifter special?)

On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's "just" a suggestion).

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh?!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (...and you thought?...)

On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and...I'm taking this because?...)

On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to...what?)

On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash! No Duh Sherlock)

On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)

On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands." (...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

On a packet of smoked salmon: "Warning. May contain fish." (well, no freaking duh.)

On hairdryer: "Do not use while in the shower." (yeah...this one makes sense!)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron: Do not iron clothes on body. (But wouldn't that save more time?)

On artificial bacon: "Real artificial bacon bits". (because they don't want to give us the fake bacon, they want to give us the real fake bacon :P)

On Boot's Children's cough medicine: Do not drive car or operate machinery. (We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)

On a Korean kitchen knife: Warning: keep out of children. (I think something got lost in the translation)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts: Instructions: open packet, eat nuts. (somebody got paid big bucks to write this one...)

Blanket from Taiwan:
Warning: Not To Be Used As Protection From A Tornado
(Oh, yes. Cloth. Great protection from Mother Nature.)

Frisbee: Warning:
May Contain Small Parts
(Um... How? I always thought frisbees were just one little disc...)

Railroad Sign:
Warning: Beware! To touch these wires is instant death. Anyone found doing so will be prosecuted.
(Wouldn't they be already dead?)

Hair Coloring:
Warning: Do not use as an ice cream topping
(Yummy! Hair dye!)

Puzzle:
Warning: Some Assembly Required
(Well darn, I was planning on just enchanting the picture!)

NORMAL PEOPLE: rely on their local weatherman for the weather forecast PJO FANS:will tell Zeus to make it rain

NORMAL PEOPLE: say OMG! PJO FANS: say OH MY GODS!

NORMAL PEOPLE: go to a psychiatrist to tell their feelings PJO FANS:won't go to one because they will take away their awesome demigod powers

NORMAL PEOPLE: say shut up or i'll tell on you! PJO FANS: say shut up or my godly parent will vaporize you!

NORMAL PEOPLE: think that PJO fans are stupid PJO FANS: know that normal people are stupid

NORMAL PEOPLE: when being chased yell HELP ME SOMEBODY! PJO FANS: when being chased use their awesome demigod powers

NORMAL PEOPLE: get nervous/scared during thunderstorms PJO FANS: yell at Zeus to calm down

NORMAL PEOPLE: would choose somewhere sunny to go for vacation PJO FANS: would try and find Camp Half Blood

NORMAL PEOPLE:don't have this on their profile PJO FANS: MUST have this on their profile

The Percy Jackson pledge:

I promise to remember Percy

Whenever I'm at sea

I promise to remember Annabeth

Whenever a spider comes at me

I promise to protect nature

For Grover's sake of course

I promise to remember Luke

When my heart fills with remorse

I promise to remember Chiron

Whenever I see a sign that says ''Free Pony Ride''

I promise to remember Tyson

Whenever a friend says they'll stick by my side

I promise to remember Thalia

Whenever a friend is scared of heights

I promise to remember Clarisse

Whenever I see someone that gives me a fright

I promise to remember Bianca

Whenever I see a sister scold her younger brother

I promise to remember Nico

Whenever I see someone who doesn't get along with others

I promise to remember Zoe

Whenever I watch the stars

I promise to remember Rachel

Whenever a limo passes my car

I promise to remember the gods

and remember what they do

I do this for my love for them

and it will ALWAYS be renewed

Yes I promise to remember PJO

Wherever I may go

Now swear it on the River Styx!

YOU KNOW YOU'RE OBSESSED WITH PERCY JACKSON AND THE OLYMPIANS WHEN:

buy everything you see with an owl or trident on it.*

yell “Burrito Fight!” whenever you’re in a Mexican restaurant.

checked to make sure your vice-principal doesn’t have a tail.*

know which pages the good parts are on.*

suddenly hate thunderstorms.*

start hearing Perachel in every song you hear. (Or something else:Percabeth.)

started calling your dog Mrs. O’Leary.

start figuring out who your godly parent is. (Posiden/Aphrodite?)

never looked at a ballpoint pen the same way again.*

have a plan to get out of school early on May 5th so you can buy The Last Olympian, read it, and still have time to do your homework.*

ask the cashier at the store if they stock Mythomagic cards.*

start doing pro/con lists in your head. During Math. When you’re supposed to be taking notes.*

start spelling character names out of your spelling words.*

start loving blue plastic hairbrushes and anyone who wields them.*

15.Each day you check every fan site you know of for new information.*

try to figure out how much food dye you need to turn chocolate chip cookies blue.

make references to it in school reports and/or to friends that haven’t read it.

18.The first thing you ask someone when you meet them is, “Have you read PJO?”*

19.On your trip to Washington D.C. you thought of Annabeth every time you saw a monument.*

yell “Mizzenmast!” whenever you enter a boat.*

dream about PJO every night.*

curse a god/goddess a lot. (WTF Zeus!? Go to Hades!)

have one (Or more) pictures relating to PJO in your room*

know PJO better then most sane people*

have links to every great PJO site*

add things to the list every day*

know what you would do if you were Percy*

argue with your friends about if Nico should turn evil or not

least half of your friends have read all the PJO, or are going to in the very near future (I keep re-reading The Last Olympian)

wish you could find a rainbow to see if Iris messages work*

31.For April Fools, you put a piece of paper over a card/cards and told your friends that they were Myth-O-Magic cards and they understood

32.Your friends all have a godly parent, and so do you, and your family, and your extended family, and your far, far, far away cuzs'

are trying to learn Greek*

keep thinking about one of the PJO books when you go on a trip.*

35.Every language you know is some form of Ancient greek.*

shriek everytime you see a guy with black hair and green eyes

have an instant crush on Nico! (I'm a guy -.-

just have to research more about greek mythology (Ask me anything about any god,demigod,evil person, monster, etc)

call up the Camp Half Blood number in LT.

want to learn Latin*

copy/paste this onto your profile*

43.About 75-100 of your fics are PJO related, even if it is a cross over*

have taken every test you can find about what demigodly parent you would/do/should have, and your friends have as well or are going to*

make sure all of your friends (Or most of them), have an idea about what you say when talking about PJO*

46.Your friends (At least one), think you are obbsessed with PJO, and you agree*

47.A friend (or more), think you should start taking pills and/or going to a mental doctor, because you are so obsessed

have one or more things related to PJO on your school stuff, and if someone asks you why, you tell them

have something on your school things (Or home things), that says 'Daughter (Or son if you're a guy) of God/goddess', and you don't even try to hide it, even if it says daughter of Name of unliked god.goddess*

’re nodding and smiling when you read this*

were so busy reading that you missed number 41*

are planning on adding a lot more things to this list*

have done at least 15 (Or more) of the above things*

threatened your friend with our friend way downstairs' Kindly Ones at least five times*

said 'Gods' instead of 'God' when you pledge allegiance every morning.

dreamt about Percy and Annabeth during their quest.*

57.Everything you doodle is somehow related to them.*

cannot sleep without reading a good two hours of Percy Jackson's fanfic or the books*

think about Percy Jackson even when you are in the middle of a very intense competition.*

don't care about other judging with your obsession and had been called weird due to that a million times.*

There’s a thunderstorm going on and you scream, “CALM DOWN, ZEUS!”*

Every time you use the Internet, you thank Hermes.*

When you see Harry Potter, you think of Percy with glasses.

You burn food to see if it smells good.*

You see an owl, you go, “Hi Athena!”*

Everyone else is creating a Twilight family and you create a PJO family.

You go on a cruise and you hope the boat isn’t The Princess Andromeda…

You sometimes try to control water.*

You don't read anything but PJO for 3 months.*

You've gone to Google maps and looked up Camp Half-Blood’s address.

Even though not diagnosed, you claim you have ADHD or dyslexia and blame it on your God parent.*

You yell "Annabeth!" everytime you see a NY Yankees hat.*

You make the PJO characters on Sims, as Miis on the Wii, and other video games.*

Anytime you see an orange shirt, you look at the front of it to see if it is a Camp shirt.*

You are a PJO character for Halloween.

Recite lines randomly from the books.*

When you see/hear about anything myhtology-related, you talk about how it was in PJO (what page, book, etc.) and what happened to it.(all the time!)*

Buy anything New York or San Francisco-related.

You are suddenly obsessed with Adidas shoes because they have the Hermes symbol.

You claim that Percy IS real and lives in New York no matter how much your friends argue with you.

You have dreams about PJO characters/events .

You carry a ballpoint pen in your pocket.*

That everytime you pick up a pen, you think it'll turn into a sword.*

In the beginning of your first History class, you burst out "Will we be studying Greek mythology?!!*

You pretend (or actually) faint when someone asks "Who's Percy?"*

When someone mentions the name Percy (like Percy Weasley) you scream "JACKSON!"

You are known to scream names of the characters at random times.*

You've got any copy of any book in all your backpacks/binders incase of emergencies .*

You make a list of characters never to anger, like this one and why: Thalia- Want her for your friend, hate her for your enemy. also shes a hunter, her aim with an arrow is very accurate...*

Athena- She scares Percy more than Zeus. Also, she cannot be distracted and her plans always work.*

Hades- Um, this one is rather obvious- also you might not be buried with a drachma in your pocket.*

Hermes- Cutting off your internet access would be slow and painful torture. Also I blame the economy crisis on Luke's stealing federal funds.*

Aphrodite- She's preoccupied with Percabeth and trust me I dont want to waste her time!*

You write fanfiction constantly, even when you're not at your computer.* You give all your siblings god parents (Poseidon, Zeus, Hades.) You call the "Ares kids", or school bullies, Martians.

You quiz fellow fans on the minor gods and win.*

You spend time doing pointless research at , just because Rick Riordan linked it on his site.

You still think Thuke could happen.

You plan several statements to avoid Apollo's lines and remember he's a player, should he ever hit on you, and several ways to get out of being cursed.

You imagine the gods alone, and what they really do on the Superbowl.

Your mother thinks you need to get a boyfriend, as does your father to cure your obsession.

You read page 203 of BotL over and over again or say the lines in your head*

You know exactly what someone means when they say LT, SoM, TC, BotL, tLO PJO and use it in conversations.*

You find yourself saying things like "Oh my gods!" and "What the Hades?"*

When your boyfriend dumps you, you take the oath of the hunters (I'm a dude -.-

you go to the empire state building and ask for the 600th floor.when the dude at the desk looks at you wierd,you announce that your a demigod.*

you put in grey contacts and pretend that you are Annabeth

you curse out the gods when something bad happens.*

you swear that Percy is real and lives in new york no matter how much you friends say it isnt true.*

you watch the show and read the book every chance you get.*

you claim that you are a demigod and need to go to camp in new york.*

you go to new york and ask for a man named chiron and that you need to go with him.

you look for a latin teacher that is in a wheelchair and loves to throw greek field days.

you try to find rachel and ask her for a prophecy.

everytime a major water storm or earthquake happens you scream at Poseidon

everytime somthing or someone dies that you are close to, you blame hades.

you talk about them nonstop.

You’re in a running/swimming race and you’re praying and sacrificing to Hermes/Poseidon.*

You think that your favorite singer is a child of Apollo.

Someone close to you dies and you give them money (LOTS of it) just in case…

You’re on a boat and you pray that Poseidon is in a good mood.*

You’re in the air (hang-gliding, cliff-diving, bungee jumping, flying, in a plane, etc.) and you hope Zeus is in a good mood and won’t blast you out of the air.

You go to Aunty Em’s and say you’re camera shy.

You find your true love and thank Aphrodite for sending him/her to you.*

You think George Bush is a son of Ares (he’s dumb and violent you know!). (No offense, Ares)

You know Muse is the best singers. (Get it, the Nine Muses?? x)

Bring a blue plastic hairbrush with you everywhere.

When it gets really cold randomly, blame Kronos.*

You get really mad at Hades when a family member dies

Everytime you play dodgeball, you bring a suit of armor.*

You go to San Fransisco looking for the Old Sea Man.*

Whenever your internet slows down, you yell at the sky and say "HERMES! WHY DO YOU LOVE ANNOYING ME?!"*

You pray to Athena when you don’t study for a math test.*

And when you flunk said test, you blame her irritation on Percabeth.

You write fanfiction constantly, even when you're not at your computer.*

You want Hephaestus to fix your iPod when it breaks. *

When someone gets married, you say: "I hope you shall not anger Hera"

You cried when you finished TLO*

You eat, sleep, and breath Percabeth*

Every school book you own has PJO stuff scribbled on each page*

You're in love with a fictional character *

You and your BFF call yourselves geeks because you sit around and talk about PJO

You own homemade replicas of things from the PJO series (a Yankees cap? :D)

You dream of going to Camp Half-Blood*

If you want to push Rachel Elizabeth Dare off a cliff

You’re nodding and smiling when you read this*

You own every single book=) (Including the guide, and the Demigod Files)*

You are planning on adding a lot more things to this list=)*

You call yourself a demigod=)*

You wish with every fibre of your being that the first page of The Lightning Theif told the truth, and the PJO series is real=)*

You find yourself praying to a random god when you didn't study for a math test because you were too busy reading PJO=)*

You've called someone you know a satyr.=)*

You name your pet fish Clovis*

Your Harry Potter obsessed family members think you're a freak because you prefer Percy Jackson(My friends. do they count? if so...) =)

You noticed that in TLO, Rick Riordan wrote Connor in Chapter 3 (I Take a Sneak Peak to my Death) and Conner in Chapter 10 (I Buy Some New Friends)=)*

When you're History teacher asks you what's your favorite food and you answer 'Double Stuf Oreos' because Ares gave them those with a backpack in TLT*

You relate a High School Musical song to Apollo (references to the sun). credits to natzzcheshiree

You accidentally call one of your friends a PJO name =)*

you change the lyrics in LOVE STORY by Taylor Swift from, "Marry me, Juliet" to "Marry me Annabeth" =)

you try to talk to horses =)*

you try to summon the dead =)*

you try to summon lightning =)*

you try to breathe underwater =)*

you look for an entrance to the Labyrinth in your basement =)*

you check to see if horses have wings before you ride them =)*

You pray to Aphrodite 50 times a day, praying to get that cute girl(or guy!) to like you-credits to TheGreekChronicules *

When you got that new cat, you made sure that you didnt just adopt the Nemean Lion*

When you look for a dog to adopt, you look for one with 3 heads*

You have a crush on Aphrodite*/Apollo

You know how each Major God Came to be, and how every minor god came to be*

You can recite off the top of your mind every single monster metioned in any PJO book//*

You find yourself making maps of Camp Half-Blood*

You have a crush on a girl/guy from the PJO series at camp-end of TheGreekChronicules contribution*

You have done at least 15 (Or more) of the above things *

When you finished the PJO books, you felt like there was a great big hole missing in your body :D

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty

uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal

pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a

rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't

mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the

olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer

be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl

mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.

Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed

ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.

Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas thought slpeling

was ipmorantt! tahts so cool!

Quotes

They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people.

Amatures built the ark. Professionals built the titanic...

There's nothing wrong with talking to random objects, its when they start to talk back that you need to worry.

Who ever said that words never hurt obviously has never got hit by a dictionary.

Who ever says 'as easy as taking candy from a baby' has never tried to.

You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.

Officer, I swear to Drunk I'm not God!

You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder

An apple a day keeps the doctor away. But if the doctor is cute, screw the fruit!

I used to care, but I take a pill for that now.

When life gives you lemons make apple juice and let the world wonder how you did it.

Evening news is where they say, "Good Evening" then proceed to tell you why it's not.

The dinosaur's extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide.

Boyfriend, Girlfriend, Friend - They all finish in 'end' - but family doesn't

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us how to walk and talk, then the rest of our lives telling us to sit down and shut up.

Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.

Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep-- not screaming, like the passengers in his car.

"God made man, and then he said, "I can do better than that," and made woman." - Adela Rodgers St. Johns

"Whoever said nothing is impossible, never tried to slam a revolving door,"- Unknown

Don't think of your self as an ugly person. Think of yourself as a beautiful monkey.

A stranger stabs you in the front; a friend stabs you in the back; a boyfriend stabs you in the heart, but best friends only poke each other with straws.

"We live in an age where pizza gets to your house before the police do."

Hippopotomonstrousaequipodaliophobic - Fear of long words.

My best friends are the kind that if my house were on fire, they'd be roasting marsh mellows and flirting with the firemen.

Boys are like slinkys, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.

I ran with scissors, and lived!

I'm not prejudiced. I hate everyone equally.

If two wrongs dont make a right, try three.

Borrow money from pessimists- they dont expect to get it back!

There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count & and those that cant.

Flying is simple. Just throw yourself at the ground and miss.

Don’t knock on death’s door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that.

You know when you say 'no offence', u r actually saying, 'i'm going to dis u now...i hope you dont mind'.

'Your chances of getting hit by lightning go up if u stand under a tree, shake your fist at the sky, and say, "STORM'S SUCK!" - Johnny Carson

'I don't have to be careful! i've got a gun!' - Homer Simpson

'Aerodynamically, the bumblebee shouldn't be able to fly, but the bumble bee doesn't know it so it goes on flying anyway.' - Mary Kay Ash

" my rocker. Probably."- Percy Jackson (The Last Olympian.)

Join the Dark Side... We have COOKIES!!!

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished
cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of
next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the
store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught t me IRONY.
"Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck?"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't
have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that
way."

19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. And my favourite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

"Distance is just a test to see how far love can travel"

"Life isn't about finding yourself it's about creating yourself"

"The face can speak a thousand emotions, but it can easily mask what the heart truly feels"

"I wish i was little again when the hardest choice was picking a crayon"

"Life may not always be as good as it should be but it's never as bad as it could be"

Don't wait for the perfect moment take the moment and make it perfect"

"Life was much easier when Apple and Blackberry were just fruits"

"Your the ice to my cream the cocoa to my puffs the m to my m&m's but mostly your the best to my friend"

"Do all things with love"

"It was the sweetest thing that ever could be it was a fantasy dream come true it was the day i met you"

"What lies behind us and what lies before us are nothing compared to what lies within us"

"Never give up on something you can't live a day without"
"Love exists because if it didn't i don't know why i miss you this much"

"The boy gave the girl 13 roses, 12 were real and 1 was fake the boy told the girl i will love you until the last rose dies"

"When i first saw you i was afraid to meet you when i met you i was afraid to kiss you when i kissed you i was afraid to love you now that i love you i'm afraid to lose you"

"When you feel like giving up remember why you held on for so long"

"Death leaves a heartache no one can repair but love leaves a memory no one can steal"

"Think happy thoughts"

"We laugh at each other's dumbest jokes, put up with each others worst moods go along with each others crazy ideas that's what makes us the most amazing best friends"

"Best friends are the siblings God forgot to give us"

"The real test of friendship is can you do literally nothing without them? Can you enjoy those moments of life that are utterly simple?"

"I may look calm but in my head i've killed you 3 times"

"Sometimes the heart sees what is invisible to the eye"

"Love is the beauty of the soul"

"Every noble work is at first impossible"

"A small leak can sink a great ship"

"All things are difficult before they are easy"

"Every saint has a past and every sinner has a future"

"Life's too short to wake up in the morning with regrets"

"Forget the risk take the fall if its meant to be its worth it all"

"Everything happens for a reason"

"Yes i do use my hairbrush as a micrphone and dance around my room in my underwear Thank you very much"

"Never regret something that made you smile"

"Move on it's just a chapter in the past but don't close the book just turn the page"

"Laugh as much as you breath and love as much as you live"

"Sometimes I wonder "Why is that Frisbee getting bigger" and then it hits me."

"A true idiot climbs a glass wall to see what's on the other side."

"The extinction of the dinosoars was no accident. Barney came along and they all committed suicide.'

"If your heart was really broken, you'd be dead. So SHUT UP!"

"Warning: Trespassers will be shot. Survivors will be shot again."

"I didn't say it was your fault. I said I was going to blame you."

"Everything is okay in the end. If it isn’t okay, then it’s not the end."

PERCY JACKSON QUOTES:

With great power, comes the great need to take a nap. Wake me up later." -Nico Di Angelo, THE LAST OLYMPIAN

"God alert! It's the wine dude!" -Blackjack (Percy's pegasus), THE TITANS CURSE

"Let us find the dam snack bar." Zoe said

"The dam snack bar?"

"Yes. What is funny?"

"Nothing." Grover said, trying to keep a straight face. "I could use some dam french fires."

"And I need to use the dam restroom."

"I do not understand"

"I want to use the dam water fountain."

"And. . .I want to buy a dam T-shirt." -Thalia, Zoe, Grover, Percy, THE TITANS CURSE

"Go chase a doughnut." -Percy, THE SEA OF MONSTERS

Deadlines just aren't real to me unless I'm staring one in the face. -Percy, THE LIGHTNING THEIF

I'll have a cheeseburger and-AHHH! My friend's on fire! Get me a bucket! -Jason, THE LOST HERO

Even before he got electrocuted, Jason was having a rotten day. -THE LOST HERO

"See, that's what happens to snow in Texas, lady. It-freaking-melts."--Leo, THE LOST HERO

You know how teachers always tell you the magic word is please? That's not true. The magic word is puke. It will get you out of class faster than anything else. -Percy, THE DEMIGOD FILES

"Well. . .See you."

"Hold up! you can't just run off."

"Sure I can." -Clarisse and Percy, THE DEMIGOD FILES

That's one good thing about sea serpents: They're big babies when it comes to getting hurt. -Percy, THE DEMIGOD FILES

It's great when you're a celebrity to squids. -Percy, THE DEMIGOD FILES

"It's all right. We just had a family spat."

"Family spat? You turned me into a dandelion!" -Persephone and Nico, THE DEMIGOD FILES

Now Thalia and Nico would have to haul my useless butt through the rest of the mission. -Percy, THE DEMIGOD FILES _"

''Maybe if we push her over." - Annabeth, The Battle of the Labyrinth

"Your a half-blood too?' "Shh! Just announce it to the world how about?" "Okay. Hey, everybody! These to arent human! They're half Greek god!" - Rachel and Annabeth, The Battle of the Labyrinth

"Look, I'm really sorry about the band room. I hope they didn't kick you out or anything." "Nah. They asked me alot of questions about you. I played dumb." "Was it hard?"- Percy, Annabeth, Rachel, The Battle of the Labyrinth

"No, no. Rainbows. Very macho." - Leo , The Lost Hero

"Rainbows, ponies." "I'm gonna toss you off this chariot."- Leo and Butch, The Lost Hero

"Annabeth! I said you could borrow the chariot, not destroy it." - Will, The Lost Hero

"Vulcan? I dont even LIKE Star Trek." Leo, The Lost Hero

"Aphrodite took my snowboarding jacket. Mugged by my own mom." - Piper, The Lost Hero

"Don't I get a kiss for luck? Its kind of a tradition, right?" - Percy Jackson, The Last Oympian.

"Go chase a donut!' - Percy Jackson, The Sea of Monsters

"I wasn't sure where the Latin came from, i think it meant ' Eat my pants!'" - Percy Jackson, The Lightning Thief

"Your pretty smug Lord Ares, for a guy who runs from Cupid statues." -Percy Jackson, The Lightning Thief

"New lesson, class. Most monsters will vaporize when sliced with a celestial bronze sword. This change is perfectly normal, and will happen to you right now if you don't BACK OFF!" - Percy Jackson, Battle of the Labyrinth

"I nodded, looking at Rachel with respect. "You hit the Lord of the Titans in the eye with a blue plastic hairbrush." - Percy Jackson, TBotL

"That's right, you smelly bucket of nose drool!" Percy Jackson, The Sea of Monsters

"With great power, comes the great need to take a nap.- Nico di Angelo, The Last Olympia

Perseus Jackson. Savior of Olympus.

Electricity. That's what will shock you if you mess with Thalia Grace.

Riptide. Percy's lethal ballpoint pen.

Clarisse. That's who will go after you if you beat her in a battle. (And you don't want an angry Clarisse. It's bad enough when she's not angry.)

Yellow duffle bags. Helped Percy, Tyson, and Annabeth.

Jason Grace. Thalia's "lost" little brother.

Annabeth Chase. Percy's girlfriend and official architect of Olympus.

Chiron. Trainer of heroes.

Kaleidoscope. What Piper's eyes look like to Jason.

Son of Neptune. The book we can't wait for.

Olympus. Home of the gods.

Nemesis. Ethan's mother. Don't worry, she's getting her revenge on his death.

Atlas. Zoe's father.

Never back down. The phrase that reminds me of TLO.

Dionysus. The god of wine. (More like the god of Diet Coke.)

Thalia Grace. Hunter of Artemis and daughter of Zeus.

Hephaestus. The father of our favorite fire boy. ;)

Empathy link. What Grover and Percy have. Saved Grover's life a couple of times.

Officers. The immortal skeletons dressed up as officers.

Lupa. The she-wolf we all want to know about.

Year-rounders. These campers stay at CHB all year long, while some stay only for summer.

Morpheus. The gods of dreams. Put NYC asleep during TLO.

Persephone. The kidnapped wife of Hades. Believes every hero is brave and wants to give them a chance.

Illiterates. Many kids believe some of the demigods are illiterates.

Artemis. Goddess of the Hunt. Has hunters, including Thalia.

Nothing lasts forever. Even the gods.

Switched. Percy and Jason are switched. Jason at CHB, Percy at Legion Camp.

Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.

The trouble with alarm clocks is that they always go off when you're asleep.

WARNING: Do not follow in my footsteps. I tend to walk into walls and off cliffs.

Real girls aren't perfect, and perfect girls aren't real.

I've got ADD and magic markers. Oh, the fun I will have. (I don't have ADD, I have SAS: short attention span)

What hair color do they put down on the driver's licenses of a bald man?

I'm not littering . . . just donating to the Earth.

It's funny--the people who want quiet are always the loudest getting people to shut up.

I'm not laughing at you, I'm laughing with you... you're just not laughing.

I used up all my sick days at work so I'm calling in dead.

Be nice to your kids. They choose your nursing home.

It is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all.

Note to self: Normal is just a setting on washing machines.

My favorite word is sarcasm.

Please don't drop cigarette buds on the floor, the cockroaches are getting cancer.

When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

You know the speed of light, so what's the speed of dark?

If you want to look young and thin, hang around with old fat people.

If Wal-mart is lowering their prices everyday, how come the store isn't free yet?

Sarcasm doesn't work on a sarcastic person.

Men are like parking spots, the good ones are taken and the free ones are handicapped. There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.

I'm the kind of girl who will burst our laughing in the middle of a dead silence because of something that happened yesterday.

Don't think of your self as an ugly person. Think of yourself as a beautiful monkey.

What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere? 'Hold my purse.' (if I HAD one . . .)

A stranger stabs you in the front; a friend stabs you in the back; a boyfriend stabs you in the heart, but best friends only poke each other with straws.

"We live in an age where pizza gets to your house before the police do."

Screw fire and save matches!!

Hippopotomonstrousaequipodaliophobic - Fear of long words.

My best friends are the kind that if my house were on fire, they'd be roasting marsh mellows and flirting with the firemen.

I ran with scissors, and lived!

I'm not prejudiced. I hate everyone equally.

If two wrongs dont make a right, try three.

Borrow money from pessimists- they dont expect to get it back!

There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count & and those that cant.

Flying is simple. Just throw yourself at the ground and miss.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away. . . if well-aimed.

One way to find out if something works: push all the buttons.

I hear your silence loud and clear.

According to the latest figures, 43% of all statistics are utterly worthless.

Don't steal. The government hates the competition.

If at first you don't succeed, change the rules.

Tell the truth and run.

Smile; it makes people wonder what you're up to.

Friends come and go while enemies never do; they just multiply.

Power corrupts. Absolute power is kinda neat.

Generally, generalizations are wrong.

Ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make ye mad.

All things considered, insanity may be the only reasonable alternative.

If we knew what we were doing, it wouldn't be research.

Life is like a box of chocolates - it's full of nuts.

The Truth is out there. So what are you doing here?

Whatever you are, be a good one.

You cannot shake hands with a clenched fist.

You can never underestimate the stupidity of the general public.

We are the people our parents warned us about.

Freedom is the right to be wrong, not the right to do wrong.

The difficulty is not so great as to die for a friend, as to find a friend worth dying for.

Belief gets in the way of learning.

If you try to fail and succeed, what have you done?

When angry, count to four. When very angry, swear.

Enjoy every minute of life. There's plenty of time to be dead.

And in the end, it's not the years in your life that count, it's the life in your years.

We don't live in the world of reality, we live in the world of how we perceive reality.

If God had intended Man to smoke, he would have set him on fire.

A single death is a tragedy. A million deaths is a statistic.

Have the courage to live. Anyone can die.

I dream of a better world where chickens can cross the road without having their motives questioned.

Education is important. School, however, is another matter.

When a finger points at the moon, the imbecile looks at the finger.

Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to change it every 2 months.

Cynics are made, not born.

What do we want? PROCRASTINATION! When do we want it? . . . . Next week.

Maybe this world is another planet's hell.

I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

Don’t take life too seriously, you won’t get out alive.

You’re just jealous because the voices only talk to me.

I’m not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.

When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.

Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.

What do you mean, my birth certificate expired?

My mind works like lightning . . . . one brilliant flash and it's gone.

The newscaster is the person who says "Good evening" and then tells you why it's not.

Don't underestimate the power of funny. It moves mountains.

Never say that! Never! Run before you walk! Fly before you crawl! Keep moving forward! Because if we fail, I'd rather fail really hugely. All or nothing!

Always forgive your enemies- nothing annoys them more.

If Barbie's so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

Growing old is mandatory . . . growing UP is optional . . .

When I'm stressed, I laugh. When I'm happy, I laugh. When I'm nervous, I laugh. If I find something funny, I can't stop laughing.

If you find any poisonous plants in your tea, just to let you know, it wasn't me.

Don't pop my bubbles. I'll get depressed.

Anatidaephobia: the fear that somehow, somewhere, a duck is watching you.

Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

If ya can't beat 'em, join 'em.
If ya can't join 'em, bribe 'em.
If ya can't bribe 'em, blackmail 'em.
If ya can't blackmail 'em, kill 'em.
If ya can't kill 'em, you're screwed.

You cry, I cry. You laugh, I laugh. You jump off a cliff, I laugh even harder

People that don't know me think I'm quiet. People that do wish I was.

If your heart was really broken . . . you'd be dead so shut up.

People say "Guns don't kill people, People kill people!" Well, I think guns help. If you stood there and yelled "Bang", I don't think you'd kill too many people.

He who laughs last didn't get it.

If Tylenol, Duct Tape, & a Band Aid can't fix it, you have a serious problem.

Emmett's the strongest, Edward's the fastest, but Jasper can sit alone in a corner and still make people jealous.

They laugh because we're losers . . . . We laugh because they just figured it out.

The 50-50-90 rule: any time you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90 probability you'll get it wrong.

The person who smiles when things go wrong has found someone to blame it on.

The voices may not be real, but they have some pretty good ideas.

Curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back. Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.

A wise man once said, "Ask a girl."

Fighting is mind over matter. I don't mind, and you don't matter.

Why be difficult, when, with just a little bit of effort, you can be impossible?

If you don't like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk.

Hate is just a special kind of love we give to people who suck.

Keep smiling; it makes people wonder what you're up to.

You have the right to remain silent. Everything you say will be misquoted and used against you.

Chaos, panic, pandemonium. My work here is done.

Therapist = The/rapist... scary thought

If you don't like me, there is nothing I can do. Newsflash, Honey, I don't live to please you.

Don't knock on death's door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that.

I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.

You laugh because I'm different. I laugh because you're all the same.

Being mature is overrated.

Being weird is like being normal, only better.

I'm not clumsy, the floor just hates me.

Boys are like lava lamps: fun to watch but not too bright.

It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 to smile, and only 4 to reach out and slap someone.

I believe you should live each day as if it were your last, which is why I don't do my laundry. I mean, come on, who would wanna wash clothes on the last day of their life?

Silence is golden . . . duct tape is silver.

When life gives you lemons . . .
make grape juice, and watch the world wonder how you did it. (OR)
squirt 'em in peoples' eyes!

Be insane- well behaved people never made history.

My knight in shining armor turned out to be a loser in aluminum foil.

To the world you are just one person, but to one person, you're the world.

Your weirdness is creeping my imaginary friend out.

One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh, he took a wrong turn, got lost, and was too stubborn to ask for directions.

It's always in the last place you look . . . of course it is, why would I keep looking for it?

Happiness is just around the corner! . . . Too bad the world is round . . .

I'm not random . . .
I just have many thou- OH, A SQUIRREL!! (OR)
you just can't think as fast as me.

I can only please one person a day. Today's not your day, and tomorrow's not looking good either.

I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it!

If I don't write to empty my mind, I go mad.

I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that thing up in two seconds. When I play Rock, Paper, Scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, "Oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you, you *!"

Rock beats paper. Always. But since we live in a world where Paper may beat rock, use Cannonball; it makes a big hole in paper.

I hate it when people say there is no such thing as normal. There IS such thing, as normal means average, what is considered to be most common. Normal. Of course, I'm not normal at all so I have no idea what I'm on about. If you want to learn how to explode things, crush things, cause things harm, or whatever random things you need, I'm your girl. If you want to know about anything that you will actually USE in life, go somewhere else.

The dinosaur's extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide.

Labels are for cans, and in case you haven't noticed, I'm not a can!

Excuse me. Have you seen my sanity? I think I've lost it . . .

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us how to walk and talk, then the rest of our lives telling us to sit down and shut up.

Some say the glass is half full, others the glass is half empty, all I want to know is who's drinking my water!

He Said: I don't know why you wear a bra, you have nothing to put in it.
She Said: You wear pants don't you?

"Sir, we're surrounded!"
"Excellent, we can attack in any direction!"

I'm not laughing at you, I'm laughing with you... you're just not laughing.

Real girls aren't perfect, and perfect girls aren't real.

What hair color do they put down on the driver's licenses of a bald man?

I used up all my sick days at work so I'm calling in dead.

Be nice to your kids. They choose your nursing home.

Note to self: Normal is just a setting on washing machines.

Don't think of your self as an ugly person.

Think of yourself as a beautiful monkey.

What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere? 'Hold my purse.'

A stranger stabs you in the front; a friend stabs you in the back; a boyfriend stabs you in the heart, but best

friends only poke each other with straws.

I ran with scissors, and lived!

Borrow money from pessimists- they don't expect to get it back!

Flying is simple. Just throw yourself at the ground and miss.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away. . . if well-aimed.

"We live in an age where pizza gets to your house before the police do."

Funny...

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.

Its always in the last place you look...of course it is, why the heck would you keep looking after I found it?

Your laughing now because your older than me by mere months, but when your 30 and I'm still 29, who will be laughing then?

When you get caught looking at him just remember he was looking back.

When your down I may not be able to pick you back up, but I promise I'll be willing to lay down right next to you.

Sticks and stones may scar my skin but words slice through my soul within.

Its not until you're broken that you know what you're made of.

There cannot be a crisis this week; my schedule is filled.

Whoever said nothing is impossible never tried slamming a revolving door.

One day, we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject.

When your are in jail a friend will bail you out, but a best friend will be sitting right next to you saying "dang, that was fun, lets do it again!"

People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they don't realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world

Silence is golden, duct tape is silver.

Life isn't passing me by, its trying to run me over.

Boys are like trees, they take 50 years to grow up."

People say "Guns don't kill people, People kill people!" Well, I think guns help. If you stood there and yelled Bang, I don't think you'd kill too many people.

The toothfairy teaches kids it's okay to sell body parts...

I'm not crazy. My reality is just different then yours.

Boys are like slinkeys, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.

I was about to take over the world, but I got distracted when I saw something shiny.

Most people learn by observation, and there are the few who learn by experimentation. And then there are those who actually TOUCH the fire to see if it's really hot.

Amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic...

Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.

God created man-THEN had a better idea and created women!

Be insane... because well behaved girls never made history

Your year book picture still haunts me.

The newscaster is the person who says "Good evening" and then tells you why it's not.

A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is GOING somewhere.

I'm so gangster, I carry a squirt gun.

You don't like me, well it's mind over matter. I don't mind and you don't matter.

364 days of the year, parents tell their kids not to take candy from strangers, yet on Halloween, its encouraged! Why is that?

You're a speacial kind of stupid, aren't you?

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

Secret admirers are stalkers with stationary.

Doctors say I have multiple personalities. We disagree with that.

So what if we act like imature idiots? We're having fun.

One day your prince (charming) will come. Mine? Oh,he just took a wrong turn,got lost,and is to stubborn to ask directions.

When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it.

I like work. It fasinates me. I can sit and stare at it for hours.

Why do we teach kids that violence is not the answer and then have them read about wars in school that solved America's problems?

You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.

A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice.

I DONT obsess! I think intensley...and like all the time

Jogging is a slow sprinting, Coach!

If a synchronized swimmer drowns, does that mean they all have to?

I have CDO. It's like OCD but all of the letters are in alphabetical order...like they should be.

It takes skill to trip over flat surfaces.

The early bird gets the worm, but it's the second mouse that gets the cheese.

I dream of a better world where chickens can cross the road without having their motives questioned.

Jesus saves. Passes to Moses, he shoots, he scores!!

Heaven doesn't want me and hell is afraid I'll take over.

I'm not random, I'm just HEY LOOK A SQUIRREL!

You laugh, I laugh. You cry, I cry. You jump off a cliff, I laugh.

A good friend will bail you out of jail, but a true friend will be sitting next to you saying, "Dang, that was fun!"

They never suspect the short one.

Do vegetarians eat animal crackers?

Anyone else having trouble getting to Narnia?

I've used up all of my sick days so I'm calling in dead.

Stereotyping? How do you type with a stereo?

People who don't know me think I'm quiet. People who do wish I was.

I didn't slap you, I high-fived your face.

You're a great friend, but if the zombies are chasing us, I'm tripping you.

DEATH: the number 1 killer in the U.S...tell your friends.

Automatic doors make me feel like a JEDI!!

Hey stupid! Your sock is untied...

If my calculations are correct...slinkies escalator = EVERLASTING FUN!!

Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.

"To be is to do" Socrates

"To do is to be" Sartre

"Do be do be do." Sinatra

Ever notice that studying is "student" and "dying" put together?

Procrastinators; the leaders of tomorrow.

Im not random, you just can't think as fast as me.

Tu madre. You just got burnt in spanish.

Never do anything that you wouldn't want to explain to the paramedics.

Chocolate is the answer no matter what the question is.

Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

We're so cool ice cubes are jealous.

Im not as random as you think I salad.

It's okay pluto. I'm not a planet either.

Ever wonder why bologna and lasagna don't rhyme?

Laughing until your stomach hurts is what friends are for.

If people were all meant to pop out of bed, we'd all sleep in toasters.

Wanna hear a joke? ...miley cyrus.

On a scale of 1 to crazy I'm a penguin.

If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

I don't get it...boys think girls are so complicatd. Haven't they met themselves?

I see no good reason to act my age.

Don't follow my footsteps, I run into walls.

Be a dork!! Because being cool is overrated.

At this moment, you're the oldest you've ever been. Pretty deep huh?

Forgive your enemies. It messes with their heads.

Hey you! Yeah you! No, not you, the other guy. You right there! Do you like tacos?

Making us all wish we were blind:Speedo.

Worst time to have a heart attack; during a game of charades.

If you're reading this then you're not dead. Good for you.

I ROCK! Guitar hero told me.

I tried being normal, but I didn't like it.

I was going to kill the ugliest person alive but then i thought I'd let your mom live one more day

Smile. It makes the world wonder what you're up to.

There are two things that are infinite. The universe and human stupidity. And I'm not so sure about the universe.

Out of my mind. Be back in five minutes.

Normality will be restored as soon as we figure out what it is.

Be yourself. That's crazy enough.

You always get whats coming to you; unless it gets lost in the mail.

Flying is not inherently dangerous- crashing is.

I have animal magnetism-- when I go outside, squirrels stick to my sleeves.

The trouble with real life is that there is no background music

I have not lost my mind; its backed up on a disk somewhere

Beware the letter 'G'. It is the end of everything.

Forecast for tonight: darkness

If you try to fail and succeed, which one did you do?

I am reading a most interesting book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.

How come when you mix water with flour, you get glue and then when you add eggs and sugar you get cake? Where does the glue go?

If everything seems to be going well, you obviously overlooked something

Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall through a sewer hole and die.

Hell is full of musical amateurs

There is a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line

I'm not random I just have many thoughts

I'm the kind of person who walks into a chair and apologizes

I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it

-sticks hand in electric box- CHIDORI!!

If you had a life you would stop talking about mine

We're not retreating! We're advancing in a different direction!

Just when I think you've said the stupidest thing ever, you keep on talking

The below statement is true

The above statement is false

Don't make me angry, I'm running out of places to hide the bodies

Wanna know how to keep an idiot busy? Take him into a round room and tell him to sit in a corner.

In a world of cheerios, be a frootloop!

Earth first. We'll screw up the other planets later.

God must love stupid people...he made so many

There is no great genius without a mixture of madness

When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded.

You, you, and you panic. The rest of you follow me.

Lately the only thing keeping me from becoming a serial killer is my dislike for manual labor.

Always forgive your enemies, nothing annoys them as much

If you can't dazzle 'em with brilliance, baffle 'em with nonsense

One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.

I'm mature and you're not. Nah nah nah nah nah nah!

Eat healthy. Work right. Die anyway.

I have a dream and in it, something eats you.

Its sad your own mom dresses you like that.

Everyone is beautiful on the inside. If you think bones and guts are beautiful.

Its always funny until someone gets hurt. Then its hysterical

My imaginary friend thinks you have serious problems

If aliens are looking for intelligent life, why the hell are you scared?!

I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse.

Looking for a perfect girl? Go buy yourself a barbie doll.

If idiots could fly this place would be an airport.

I know KUNG-FU and 42 other dangerous words

Me and the gummy bears have a plot to rule the world but shhh its a secret!

Quick, whats the number for 9-1-1?

You should always proofread what you write in case you any words.

I could eat a bowl of alphabet soup and crap out a better conversation than you.

I ran into my ex today. Then I put it in reverse and hit him again.

By the time you finished reading this you'll realize you just wasted 5 seconds of your life

I burst laughing out in class today...I got that joke you told yesterday

Hi! I'm human. What're you?

Have you considered suing your brain for non-support?

Everyone has a right to be ugly, but you're abusing that privilege.

If we were to kill everyone who thought you were stupid, it wouldn't be murder; it would be genocide!

I'd like to leave you with one thought...but I'm not sure you have anywhere to put it!

Wherever there is life there is love

I may not be perfect but at least I'm confident

Sometimes all we need are each other

Life is like a circle. No wonder I'm so dizzy.

Yeah I'm a loser, but I'm the coolest loser you'll ever meet

A friend would call you a retard but a best friend would call you one and act like one with you.

Boys break our hearts, so why don't we break their necks?

One night, I looked up into the sky. I began counting the reasons why I love you. I was doing great until I ran out of stars.

When they laugh, we'll laugh along too. Because we know better. We know.

I'm NOT SHORT!! ... I'm fun sized!

Patience is what parents have when there are witnesses!

Last night I lay in my bed looking up at the stars and thought to myself, WHERE THE HELL IS MY CEILING!?

We are the people our parents warned us about!

I have the kind of friends where if my house was burning down, they'd be roasting marshmallows and flirting with the firemen! (Yeah and they probably start it too..)

RAWR!! That means I love you in dinosaur!

Its not that I'm not a “people person”... its just that I'm not a “stupid people person”.

I will not be a naughty girl. I will not be a naughty girl. I will not be a naughty girl. I will not be a... aww who am I kidding!

If I promise not to kill you... can I have a hug?

I don't have a short attention span, I just... Oh look a kitty!

Exactly how much fun can I have before I go to hell?

HELL- Where all the fun people end up!

Ne the kind of woman that when your feet hit the floor each morning the devil says “Oh crap she's up!”

Note to self: It is illegal to stab people for being stupid!

They keep saying the right person will come along... I think a truck hit mine!

It better to have loved and lost then to live with the PSYCHO the rest of your life!

Only You!... can help me hide the bodies!

I'm smiling cause I'm your sister, I'm laughing cause theres nothing you can do about it!

When I die, I'm going to haunt the HELL out of you people!

Better to stay silent and be thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubt

Never argue with an idiot. They'll just drag you down to their level and beat you with experience

I wondered why the Frisbee was getting bigger, then it hit me

Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.

Why be difficult, when with just a little bit of effort, you can be impossible?

True Love:

A girl and guy were speeding over 100mph on a motorcycle

Girl: Slow down, I'm scared!

Guy: No, this is fun.

Girl: No, it's not. Please, I'm scared.

Guy: Then tell me you love me.

Girl: I love you, now slow down!

Guy: Now give me a big hug. She gives him a big hug

Guy:Can you take off my helmet and put it on yourself, it's bothering me.

In the newspaper the next day, a motorcycle had crashed into a building because of break failure. Two people were on it and only one survived. The truth was that halfway down the road, the guy realized his break wasn't working but he didn't want the girl to know. Instead he had her hug him and tell him one last time that she loved him. Then he had her put on his helmet so that she would live even if he died. Copy this onto your profile if you would do the same thing for someone you love.

The star of the football team
has a blind dad
who always comes to his games,
even though he can't see him play.
One day, the dad gets sick and dies
before the night of his son's big game.
The team is expecting him to slack off,
mourning the death of his father.
But he played the best game he EVER had,
making the winning touchdown
& many amazing plays.
The couch is amazed, so he asked,
"How did you play so well even after your father has passed?
The boy stares right at him, and says
"This is the first time he has ever seen me play."

Boy:Can you remember me tomorrow?
Girl:Yes, of course..
Boy:How about the next day?
Girl:Yeah..
Boy:How about for a week??
Girl:Yeah,of course!!
Boy:How about for a month??
Girl:Of course, I can!!
Boy:How about after 10 years??
Girl:Yes! I told you yes!
Boy:Knock knock!!
Girl:Who's There?
Boy:See, we just had our conversation and you already forgot about me!!!

I have "I"
I have "L"
I have "O"
I have "V"
I have "E"
I have "Y"
I have "O"

but I Dont Have "U"

7 colors make a rainbow..
7 chords make a music..
7 days make a week..
7 continents make the world..
and..
7 beautiful letters make us..

FRIENDS..

three criminals robbed a grocery store and were looking for a place to hide. they soon found a farm and went in to hide. The first criminal hid in a horse shed,the second in a pig pen and in the third in a potato sack. 20 mins later a policeman went into the farm.
He kicked the horse shed..."neigh!"
He then kicked the Pig pen..."oink,oink!"
And then he kicked the potato sack..."potato,potato!"

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Sugar is sweet,
And so are you,
But the roses are wilting,
The violets are dead,
The sugar bowl's empty,
And so is your head.


Roses are red

Violets are Blue

Most Poems Ryhm

This one doesn't

If ya can't beat 'em, join 'em.
If ya can't join 'em, bribe 'em.
If ya can't bribe 'em, blackmail 'em.
If ya can't blackmail 'em, kill 'em.
If ya can't kill 'em, you're screwed.

Girls
are like
apples on trees.
The best ones are
at the top of the tree.The
boys dont want to reach
for the good ones because they
are afraid of falling and geting hurt.
Instead, they just get the rotten apples
from the ground that aren't as good,
but the apples at the top think
something is wrong with them, when in
reality they are amazing. They just
have to wait for the right boy to
come along, the one who's
brave enough to
climb all
the way
to the top

If a guy likes you for your breast, legs and thighs only. Send him to KFC. You're a lady, not a cheap value meal.

The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

Keep the dream alive: Hit the snooze button.

Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.

BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.

FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.

BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!

FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail.

BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you saying "THAT WAS FRICKING AWSOME"

FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.

BEST FRIENDS: Won’t tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore.

FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.

BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.

FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back

BEST FRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."

FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.

BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...

FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.

BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds butt that left you

FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.

BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."

FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.

BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.

Pledge to the Gods:

I promise to remember Ares
Each time I hear of World War II
And I promise to remember Athena
Whenever I hear of a loom
I promise to use the internet
For Hermes' sake of course
And I promise to remember Poseidon
Whenever I ride a horse
I promise to remember Zeus
Whenever lightning fills the sky
And I promise to remember Hera
Every time a guy makes a girl cry
I promise to remember Aphrodite
Whenever I see a girdle made of gold
And I promise to remember Apollo
When the sun is very bold
I promise to remember Artemis
When the moon shines in the night
And I promise to remember Hades
When something gives me a fright
I promise to remember Demeter
Whenever a daughter moves away
And I promise to remember Hephaestus
When someone never gets their way
I promise to remember Dionysus
When I am at a party
And I promise to remember Hestia
When someones smile is very hearty
Yes I promise to love The Gods
Wherever I may go
So that all may see my obsession
Because I know what the Olympians know!

5/10

CHILD OF ZEUS

You like being in charge.
You often wish you could just zap someone with a thunderbolt.
You were voted Class President.
You do what’s best for everyone.
You think you have what it takes to run for President.
You think every problem has a solution.
You love showing off.
You like plane rides
You are hydrophobiac

2/10

CHILD OF POSEIDON

You feel at home in the water.
Your favourite vacation place is at the beach.
You enjoy snorkelling, scuba diving, surfing, etc.
You want to do something about the marine species being abused today.
You visit the local pool on a regular basis.
You swim professionally.
You hate seafood.
You never get seasick.
You’d rather ride a boat than a plane.
You are acrophobiac

3/10

CHILD OF HADES

You’re not that much of a people person.
You like staying in the dark and writing.
You experience bad moods on a regular basis.
You like listening to loud, angry music.
You spend most of your time alone.
You think parties are sometimes loud and annoying.
You like to keep to yourself.
All your closets are padlocked (or you wish they could be)
You write in diary/journal/blog.
You feel most active at night.

10/10 (Yay I'm related to Katie!)

CHILD OF DEMETER

You own a garden.
You like the great outdoors.
You have a green thumb.
You’re an environmentalist.
You have a special connection with animals.
You’re a vegetarian.
You like going hiking, camping, and looking at the natural wonders of the world.
You always check a product if it’s environmentally-friendly.
You love going to flower shops.
You think global warming is a threat that must be dealt with.

2/10

CHILD OF ARES

You often start fights.
You’re a very aggressive type of person.
You like watching wrestling.
You’re competitive.
You like reading about war..
You have anger management.
You never back away from a fight.
Everyone does what you say.
You don’t always think before you do something.

7/10

CHILD OF ATHENA

You have an insatiable thirst for knowledge.
You’re probably the only person who visit the library on a regularbasis.
Half of your Christmas presents last year were books.
You like reading about war, mostly about the reasons and controversies behind it.
You’re the valedictorian in your class.
You’ve never gotten a grade below 80 in your report card.
You get political jokes without asking people to explain them.
You think it would be better if you were the President.
You have a huge shelf of books at home.
You think vinyl pocket protectors are useful.

7/10

CHILD OF APOLLO

You’re very creative and artistic.
You like listening to all kinds of music in general.
You always feel sunny and optimistic.
You are talented at drawing.
You like writing poetry.
You can play at least 3 musical instruments.
You like going to art museums.
You almost always win 1st Place in Art Contests.
You have straight A's in Art on your report card.
Your school notebook has more doodles than notes.

7/10

HUNTER OF ARTEMIS

You dislike boys in general.
A deer is one of your favorite animals
You can shoot targets
You like silver.
You like the moon better than the sun
Zoe Nightshade is awesome
You love wild animals
You spend most of your time outdoors.
You love to move around the place
Hunting is not cruel, if it's to hunt down monsters

3/10

CHILD OF HEPHAESTUS

You have a way with tools.
You build awesome things during your free time.
You’re the best at Woodshop in your class.
Metalworking is your forte.
You have your own toolbox.
You often search the Internet to look for pictures of robots.
You’re a techie.
You often have carpentry projects.
You dream of being a carpenter.
You aren’t afraid of fire.

1/10

CHILD OF APHRODITE

Every guy/girl swoons for you.
You like putting on makeup.
You naturally smell good.
You never experience a bad hair day.
Your favorite activity is clothes-shopping.
You’re always at the front of every trend.
You’re the popular girl/guy at your school.
You’re often invited to parties.
Your motto is ‘It’s never a party without me.”
You look at yourself in the mirror on a regular basis.

0/10

CHILD OF HERMES

You like pickpocketing your friends.
You’re a prankster.
You’re a speed demon.
You consider yourself restless.
You’re the best speaker in the class.
You like thinking on your feet and using your wits.
You’re inventive and resourceful.
You often start arguments.
You’ve never lost a debate.
You like making witty and sarcastic statements.

2/10

CHILD OF DIONYSUS

You’re the life of the party.
You like wine.
You’ve probably tasted every alcoholic drink out there.
You can finish a martini in less than a minute..
You have a happy, cheerful disposition.
You’re a foodie.
You like going to social events and mingling with people.
You like trying out new food.
You feel that you’re abundant in life.
You think that too much of anything is bad.

1) You accidentally enter your password on a microwave.

2) You haven't played solitare with real cards for years

3) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is they dont have a
screenname or my space

4) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing
the buttons on the TV

6) Your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job.

7) As you read this list you keep nodding and smiling.

8) As you read this list you think about sending it to all your friends.

9) And you were too busy to notice number 5.

10) You scrolled back up to see if there was a number 5.

11) Now you are laughing at yourself stupidly.

12) Put this in your profile if you fell for that, and you know you did

Sweetness

This is really sweet...

When a girl is quiet, a million things are running through her mind.

When a girl is not arguing, she is thinking deeply.

When a girl looks at you with her eyes full of question, she is wondering how long you will be around.

When a girl answers "I'm fine." after a few seconds, she is not fine at all.

When a girl stares at you, she is wondering why you are lying.

When a girl rests her head on your chest, she is wishing for you to be her's forever.

When a girl wants to see you everday, she wants to be pampered.

When a girl says "I love you." she means it.

When a girl says "I miss you." nobody could miss you more than that.

Life only comes around once, so make sure you spend it with the right person.

Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, and calls you back when you hang up on him.

The guy who will stay awake just to watch you sleep.

Wait for the guy who kisses your forehead,

Who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats.

The one who holds your hand in front of his friends and is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you and how lucky he is to have you there for him.

The one who turns to his friends and declares "That's her.".

PREP
You own a cell phone.
You own something from abercrombie
You own something from pacsun
you own something from Hollister
You own something from American Eagle
You love/like going to the mall.
You love Starbucks.
You have been called a brat.
You hate buying things that are on sale
You have more than one house
Total : 5/10

GOTHIC
Black is one of your favorite colors.
You have thought about death.
You wear chains.
You like heavy metal.
You've shopped at Hot Topic.
You have worn black lipstick.
Your hair was/is dark.
You dislike preps.
You're an athiest/ satanist/agnostic.

You have more than 2 piercings

Total : 1/10

PUNK
You can skateboard.
You've worn plaid.
You like Converse.
You hate MTV.
You have/had blue, pink, red, purple, or green hair.
You dislike pink.
You hate/dislike preps.
You wear/wore skateboarding shoes

Total: 3/8

GEEK
You love the computer.
You like Harry Potter
You are supposed to wear glasses/contacts
You get straight A's. (Sometimes)
You love/like reading.
You were/are in band
You don't care what you look like.
You have a curfew.
You always do your homework.
You never miss school unless you're sick.
Total: 5/10

EMO
You cut yourself over depression
You have been depressed.
You have black rimmed glasses
You like the band Evanescence
You cry easily.
You like emo music. (Skyscarper)
You hate being called emo. (Cuz I'm not!)
You keep/have kept a journal/diary. ( was Forced to)
You have written a sad poem
you think emo chicks/Guys are hot (As in Nico? Yes!!!!)
Total: 0/10

GHETTO/GANGSTA
You like rap.
You are/was in a gang.
You wear/wore rubberbands in your pants.
You swear once in a while or alot
You have freestyled.
You have worn high tops with the tongue flipped out.
You can break dance
Total: 0/7

HARDCORE/SCENE
You like loud music (Blast it to the top!)
You love/loved the Ninja Turtles
You never walk anywhere.
You wear slip-on shoes.
You wear/wore Vans.
You like the band panic! at the disco
You wear band t-shirts.
People have called you a freak and meant it.
You love to "hardcore" dance
hair has been died more than 1 color
Total: 3/10

ATHLETIC
You watch/watched the Superbowl for more than the commercials
You own track shoes or other sports related shoes. (Soccer)
You collect your jerseys. (Soccer)
you have a wall or shelf dedicated to your trophies / awards
You have posters or plaques of famous athletes.
your garage consists of sports equipment
You belong/belonged to a school team.
You are going/did go to a sports summer camp

Total: 2/10

If You Live In America, you post this

Why America has some Issues (Yes I live there, but tough. These are clever)

1. Only in America...can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.

2. Only in America...are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.

3. Only in America...do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

4. Only in America...do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.

5. Only in America...do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.

6. Only in America...do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.

7. Only in America...do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.

8. Only in America...do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.

9. Only in America...do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'

10. Only in America...do they have drive-up ATM's with Braille lettering.


Listen to the Kids!

One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.
She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?"
Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white."
The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, "Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"

The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.
"Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.'
A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher, she's dead."

A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face."
"Yes," the class said.
"Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?"
A little fellow shouted,
"Cause your feet ain't empty."

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray:
"Take only ONE . God is watching."
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.
A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."

Random stuff, again...

DORMITORY:
When you rearrange the letters:
DIRTY ROOM

ASTRONOMER:
When you rearrange the letters:
MOON STARER

DESPERATION:
When you rearrange the letters:
A ROPE ENDS IT

THE EYES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THEY SEE

GEORGE BUSH:
When you rearrange the letters:
HE BUGS GORE

THE MORSE CODE :
When you rearrange the letters:
HERE COME DOTS

SLOT MACHINES:
When you rearrange the letters:
CASH LOST IN ME

ANIMOSITY:
When you rearrange the letters:
IS NO AMITY

ELECTION - RESULTS:
When you rearrange the letters:
LIES - LET'S RECOUNT

SNOOZE ALARMS:
When you rearrange the letters:
ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S

A DECIMAL POINT:
When you rearrange the letters:
IM A DOT IN PLACE

THE EARTHQUAKES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THAT QUEER SHAKE

ELEVEN PLUS TWO:
When you rearrange the letters:
TWELVE PLUS ONE

There was a blonde who found herself sitting next to a Lawyer on an airplane. The lawyer just kept bugging the blonde wanting her to play a game of intelligence. Finally, the lawyer offered her 10 to 1 odds, and said every time the blonde could not answer one of his questions, she owed him $5, but every time he could not answer hers, he'd give her $50. The lawyer figured he could not lose, and the blonde reluctantly accepted.

The lawyer first asked, "What is the distance between the Earth and the nearest star?"

Without saying a word the blonde handed him 5. then the blonde asked, "What goes up a hill with 3 legs and comes back down the hill with 4 legs?"

Well, the lawyer looked puzzled. He took several hours, looking up everything he could on his laptop and even placing numerous air-to-ground phone calls trying to find the answer. Finally, angry and frustrated, he gave up and paid the blonde $50.

The blonde put the $50 into her purse without comment, but the lawyer insisted, "What is the answer to your question?"

Without saying a word, the blonde handed him a $5.

Girl Comebacks!

Man: Where have you been all my life? Woman: Hiding from you.

Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.

Man: Is this seat empty? Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

Man: Your place or mine? Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.

Man: So, what do you do for a living? Woman: I'm a female impersonator.

Man: Hey baby, what's your sign? Woman: Do not enter.

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning? Woman: Unfertilized.

Man: Your body is like a temple. Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.

Man: I would go to the end of the world for you. Woman: But would you stay there?

Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy. Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together Woman: Really, I'd put f and u together

Man: Your eyes they're amazing. Woman: Seeing your back would be pretty amazing.

Mommy...Johnny brought a gun to school,

He told his friends that it was cool,

And when he pulled the trigger back,

It shot with a great, huge crack.

Mommy, I was a good girl, I did what I was told,

I went to school, I got straight A's, I even got the gold!

When I went to school that day,

I never said good-bye.

I'm sorry that I had to go, But Mommy, please don't cry.

When Johnny shot the gun, he hit me and another,

And all because Johnny, got the gun from his brother.

Mommy, please tell Daddy; That I love him very much,

And please tell Zack; my boyfriend; That it wasn't just a crush.

And tell my little sister; That she is the only one now, And tell my dear sweet grandmother; I'll be waiting for her now

And tell my wonderful friends; That they always were the best

Mommy, I'm not the first, I'm no better than the rest

Mommy, tell my teachers; I won't show up for class,

And never to forget this, And please don't let this pass

Mommy, why'd it have to be me? No one, though. deserves this.

But mommy, it's not fair, I left without a kiss.

But mommy, it's not fair, I left without a kiss.

I think I even saw one doctor, trying not to cry.

Mommy, I'm slowly dying, with a bullet in my chest,

But Mommy please remember, I'm in heaven with the rest

When I heard that great, big crack, I ran as fast as I could

please listen to me if you would,

I wanted to go to college, I wanted to try things that were new

I guess I'm not going with Daddy, On that trip to the new zoo I wanted to get married, I wanted to have a kid,

I wanted to be an actress, I really wanted to live.

But Mommy I must go now, The time is getting late, Mommy, tell my Zack, I'm sorry I to cancel the date. I love you Mommy, I always have, I know you know its true

And Mommy all I need to say is, "Mommy, I love you"

1) i need to tell you a secret. go to 5
2) the answer is... go to 11
3) dont get angry. go to 15
4) calm down don't get frustrated. go to 13
5) first go to 2
6) dont be angry just go to 12
7) i just wanted to say hi
8) what i wanted to tell you is...is on 14
9) Be patient and go to 4
10) this is the last time im going to send u to a number. go to 7
11) i hope ur not annoyed when i say this...but go to 6
12) sorry out of order. go to 8
13) don't get mad just yet...go to 10
14) i dont know how to say this but... go to 3
15) You must be really bored so go to 9

this is this cat

this is is cat

this is how cat

this is to cat

this is keep cat

this is a cat

this is loser cat

this is busy cat

this is for cat

this is forty cat

this is seconds cat

Now go back and read the THIRD word in each line from the top down and I bet you can't resist passing it.

W e W e r e G i v e n T w o H a n d s T o H o l d

T w o L e g s T o W a l k

T w o E y e s T o S e e

T w o E a r s T o L i s t e n

B u t W h y O n l y O n e H e a r t ?

B e c a u s e T h e O t h e r O n e

W a s G i v e n T o S o m e o n e F o r U s T o F i n d

99% vs. 1%

What you do when your pen runs out of ink:
1% - calmly throw it away and get another one
99% - scribble scribble scribble scribble scribble scribble scribble

When you sing with your headphones on:
99% - think you sound like Jesus and Fergie
1% - thing you sound like a dying cat

Why I try free samples as stores:
1% - I'm thinking of buying the product
99% - I just want free food

When I think best:
1% - at school
99% - in the shower

Hardest decisions of my life:
1% - which college to go to
99% - what my damn character's name is gonna be

When typing 'LOL'
1% - actually laughing out loud
99% - as expressionless as Kristen Stuart

Scariest parts of a scary movie:
1% - during the movie
99% - at home, when you remember everything

Reasons why I buy milk:
1% - drink it
99% - for cereal

Why I wash my hands in the bathroom:
1% - it's sanitary
99% - someone else is in there with me and they're watching me

Correct use of a semicolon:
1% - correct
99% - winky face ;)

Times when I think I'm going to die:
1% - I actually might be dying
99% - when my chair tips back slightly and I almost fall backward

What users do when they press 'shuffle' on their iPod:
1% - listen to the randomly chose song
99% - press the forward button until you get a song you want to hear

What you do when you open a greeting card:
1% - read it
99% - look for money

Uses of Google:
1% - when you're too lazy to type in ".com"
99% - spell checking

What I do when I like somebody:
1% - talk to them
99% - stare

Time spend using tupperware:
1% - storing food
99% - finding the right freaking lid

What happens when I drop ice on the floor:
1% - pick it up
99% - kick it under the fridge so nobody will know

Thoughts on Valentines Day:
1% - aww, how lovely
99% - screw this shit

What car alarms do:
1% - stop criminals
99% - make people go crazy

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Hawaii by thepercabethfreakx3 reviews
Annabeth's going with her family to Hawaii on vacation. Percy is going with his friends to Hawaii as a graduation present. Major Percabeth to come! NO GODS. ALL HUMAN!Better than summary!
Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 10 - Words: 14,679 - Reviews: 214 - Favs: 98 - Follows: 129 - Updated: 11/5/2012 - Published: 4/9/2012 - Annabeth C., Percy J.
Hephaestus's Checklist by UnholyWanky reviews
Aphrodite & Hephaestus Anniversary, Hephaestus shave He's Beard & reserved a table in the most Richest Restaurant but Aphrodite will tell something that will change everything
Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 2,054 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 29 - Follows: 29 - Updated: 10/5/2012 - Published: 4/30/2012 - Hephaestus, Aphrodite
Visit to the Past by coralie14 reviews
This is not a reading of the books. The demi-gods are sent to 1983 to explain things in the future. Can they change the future? Build on the demi-god/ god relationship, or just annoy them? Read to find out. Rated T just in case. Chapter 17- Sea of Monsters begins.
Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 35 - Words: 51,685 - Reviews: 369 - Favs: 1,245 - Follows: 767 - Updated: 9/24/2012 - Published: 4/28/2012 - Complete
Just Athletics by The Artemis reviews
Percy and Annabeth are 17 and at Goode Highschool. How will the Volleyball team captain and the Basketball team captain show their love? Takes place after school during sports practice and at PE. IT'S BACK AND FLUFFY AS EVER!
Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 13 - Words: 13,193 - Reviews: 309 - Favs: 404 - Follows: 211 - Updated: 9/18/2012 - Published: 2/7/2012 - Annabeth C., Percy J. - Complete
Daughter of the Sun God by FreeSpirit101 reviews
Holly Parker has never been popular. Living in L.A. with her Aunt, and going to a private school seems cool, but when she has a feeling she's being watched, she'll get sucked into the world of demigods. Okay I really suck at summaries, please read!
Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Fantasy - Chapters: 4 - Words: 4,005 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 6/26/2012 - Published: 4/29/2012
Surprises at Goode by BeccaH -BoOk LuVeR reviews
Annabeth transfers to Goode High and surprises Percy who is popular? Still demigods! Comments welcomed but plz don't hate
Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 22 - Words: 17,242 - Reviews: 343 - Favs: 233 - Follows: 204 - Updated: 6/17/2012 - Published: 3/2/2012 - Annabeth C., Percy J.
Dinner with the Jackson's by PercabethAndZebrasFTW reviews
Annabeth gets invited over for dinner at Percy's house. Oh, and did I mention that his parents know nothing about their relationship? Takes place a few days after TLO.
Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 11 - Words: 14,920 - Reviews: 296 - Favs: 289 - Follows: 175 - Updated: 6/9/2012 - Published: 12/17/2011 - Percy J., Annabeth C. - Complete
After the war by arissaprincess321 reviews
A cute little ONE-SHOT of how Percy may have spent the days after the war with Kronos. PERCABETH guarantied.
Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,092 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 32 - Follows: 12 - Published: 5/5/2012 - Annabeth C., Percy J. - Complete
Percy's Awkward Confession by PJOHPHGlove reviews
Percy needs to tell Annabeth something. Let's see how this goes shall we? Percabeth. Review. After TLO, but they are not dating... yet. Then Harry comes along. This should actually be called, Percabeth, with a side of Harry.
Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 17 - Words: 9,752 - Reviews: 64 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 17 - Updated: 5/4/2012 - Published: 4/17/2012 - Percy J., Annabeth C. - Complete
The Titans, Gods and Demigods on Gmail by Ayaashi reviews
The Titans, Gods and Demigods make Gmail accounts! See their sign up details, emails and chats on Gmail! What are the Gods and Demigods reactions to TITANS having Gmail accounts? Watch out for hackers *cough cough* Hermes and the Titans *cough cough*
Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: T - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 12 - Words: 13,594 - Reviews: 94 - Favs: 57 - Follows: 46 - Updated: 4/30/2012 - Published: 10/6/2011
Tyson's Diary by DELETE ME DAMN U reviews
Percy isn't well. He has to stay inside his cabin, but when he does, he finds a diary. To be perfectly honest, Tyson's diary. What should he do? Well, read the diary, of course! Rated T to be safe. You never know what's coming next! : My first story.
Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: T - English - Family/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,010 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 17 - Updated: 4/28/2012 - Published: 4/27/2012 - Tyson, Percy J.
Daughter of Wind by Thalia B. White reviews
I wrote this really quickly just to get used to the site. It's not my best, but read it if you like : Whatever Floats your boat ; Gracie Harmers. Twelve years old, and what the heck just happened?
Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,033 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 1 - Published: 4/23/2012
Demigods go to school In England? by livinit reviews
This is after the giant war where the gods send our favourite demigods to a boarding school in England. Read and Review T incase
Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,364 - Reviews: 32 - Favs: 29 - Follows: 35 - Updated: 4/23/2012 - Published: 4/16/2012 - Percy J., Annabeth C.
Crash by PercyxPercabethx15 reviews
Percy and Annabeth get into a horrible car crash. Percy's always fighting monsters and walking away alive barely , but now he must hold on to life while he struggles to wake from a coma. Will Annabeth be able to tell him she loves him? Will he ever wake?
Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 13 - Words: 13,422 - Reviews: 180 - Favs: 246 - Follows: 115 - Updated: 4/17/2012 - Published: 3/15/2012 - Percy J., Annabeth C. - Complete
Leo's epic pickup lines by daughterofares97 reviews
Leo is in love with a new Ares camper, how does he woo her? With his famous cheesy pick-up lines. A.K.A. All the times Leo used a cheesy pick-up line, and the one time he has one used on him. T for sexual themes. Now with real chapters
Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 23 - Words: 8,298 - Reviews: 161 - Favs: 105 - Follows: 61 - Updated: 12/25/2011 - Published: 11/22/2011 - Leo V.
A Man With a Not So Smart Plan by Chesty's Superbest Friend reviews
Certainly Percy wouldn't be stupid enough to use pick-up lines, right? Right. Right? Oh dear...
Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 812 - Reviews: 54 - Favs: 117 - Follows: 13 - Published: 4/12/2010 - Annabeth C., Percy J. - Complete
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