hide bio
PM . Follow . Favorite
Joined 05-14-03, id: 384866, Profile Updated: 02-10-12

Update: 02/20/12

Originally I was planning to close this account forever as part of my desire to remove myself from the fanfiction scene completely. The following were my reasons for the decision:

1) I wish it wasn't so, but I truly believe I have an addiction issue. That issue revolves around escapism, something I accomplish through not only fanfiction, but anime, manga, books, etc. Fanfiction is the worst of the bunch for me though, so eliminating it is my first step in an attempt to recover. Some have called me an idiot and told me that all of these can be good things, and that I should just setup limits and such. I've tried, and they only work for so long. Only by removing myself entirely (specifically from fanfiction since it was causing me problems not only at home but at work as well) and working to fill that time gap with positive things (more time with the wife and kids for example) can I hope to regain some balance in my life. It's obvious to me that the people who gave me grief over this were either being particularly selfish in their desire to have me continue my stories, or have absolutely no idea how addictions truly work. Regardless, this is my decision, and unless my wife, children, and I come to a different consensus, this is the way things will remain.

2) Because of the first one, my family is suffering greatly from my continued hiding. I don't spend enough time with them, and I'm missing too much of my own children's lives (in addition to my wife having to do too much on her own). As I mentioned above, it was also greatly affecting my work performance. It's time for me to stop being so selfish and focus again on what's truly important.

3) Finally, I've used excuse after excuse, but the bottom line is that I believe I've been compromising my own moral standards as a Christian in my reading, writing, and viewing habits. I've constantly justified things (the most specific being my inclusion of a lot of sexual material that simply wasn't required in the story), and I can't bring myself to do it anymore. The bottom line is that I'm not living the values that I believe God has set for me (I said 'us' previously because that's what I believe, but for anyone who knows me, you know I have no intention of browbeating you with my moral code), and I need to change that. For me, the issue became most poignant when my wife asked me a simple question. When your children go online and read your stories (because they will eventually become curious about what is taking up so much of dad's time), will you be proud of what they see? At their age (never mind the fact that they shouldn't be reading most of stories due to the M rating, but you know how kids are), will they be able to see the values we're trying to teach them reflected in my works, or will they think I'm simply being a hypocrite. If I could take the time to explain it to them, I believe they would understand my position, but I shouldn't have to do that. I could've easily written all these stories in such a way that they would've been just as good without all the extraneous junk, stuff I put in the because I was perhaps trying to live vicariously through my characters. The bottom line is that if I ever start writing again, my stories will hopefully be the same quality without the questionable material.

Those are my reasons for leaving. It was a blast, and I shall miss you all. This final update is me pulling all my stories offline and clearing everything from my account except the RaK C2. Goodbye everyone.

Manager of:
Community: RaK: Ranma & Kasumi
Focus: Anime/Manga Ranma