Russian Bear
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Joined 03-31-12, id: 3864507, Profile Updated: 02-26-22
Author has written 19 stories for Harry Potter, Foundation, Fairy Tales, and Winnie-the-Pooh.

A little bit about me:

Gender: Male

Age: Approaching retirement

Living in: New York

My beta reader: Position is now open
(formerly - A talking Cat)

Favorite author: Isaac Asimov

Favorite phrase by favorite author: When I ask for criticism, all I want is applause.

Muggle Fairy Tales Are Mad! by Meltha reviews
During the Horcrux hunt in book 7, Hermione tells the boys Muggle fairy tales to pass the time. Now with "The Boy Who Wanted to Learn How to Shudder."
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 49 - Words: 292,042 - Reviews: 861 - Favs: 726 - Follows: 585 - Updated: 12/6 - Published: 1/6/2010 - Harry P., Ron W., Hermione G.
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Three Years Earlier - Power of Ghost Wand reviews
Moaning Myrtle chosen as Triwizard Champion. At the end she faces Voldemort. Who will win? Ghost Girl or Dark Lord? Or, maybe... a draw? (The 2nd installment in the series 'N years earlier; The Powers')
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 5 - Words: 5,917 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 10 - Updated: 12/4 - Published: 3/13 - [Myrtle, Harry P., Hermione G.] Voldemort
Phoenixes Choose Only Once
A missing moment from 'The Deathly Hallows'. Aberforth Dumbledore was reluctant to help Harry, Ron and Hermione. But then he had two flashes of memory and changed his mind. 100% canon compliant.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Family/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 595 - Favs: 1 - Published: 9/5 - Albus D., Ariana D., Aberforth D., Fawkes - Complete
I saw Hogwarts and Durmstrang reviews
Draco, Draco, You did wrong thing; Instead of chasing Golden Snitch - You stared at panties of a witch! (Set in Chamber of Secrets year)
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 337 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Published: 8/12 - Draco M., Cho C. - Complete
I Swear on my Magic reviews
A short parody on all those fanfiction stories where somebody swears on his/her magic to prove something. Translated from Russian.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 474 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Published: 8/7 - Harry P., Albus D., Amelia B., C. Fudge - Complete
Russian Folk Tales Are Weird! reviews
During the Horcrux hunt in book 7, Hermione tells the boys Muggle tales to pass the time. Same setup as in Meltha's story collection "Muggle Fairy Tales Are Mad!" Marked as "Complete", but I plan to add more chapters.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Friendship/Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 11,581 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 2/26 - Published: 11/22/2020 - Harry P., Ron W., Hermione G. - Complete
The Toxin Puzzle reviews
Lord Voldemort wants to inflict some exquisite punishment on a certain Death Eater. Bellatrix provides an idea, taken from Muggle psychology journal. But the plan backfires because no Russian man can allow three drops of perfectly good vodka go to waste.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 454 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Published: 1/8 - Voldemort, Bellatrix L., Antonin D. - Complete
Harry Potter, Kindness and Goodness reviews
Translation from Russian series of five one-shots "Гарри Поттер и доброта с позитивом" by author Кой (apparently pen name). Minerva, seeing "cupboard under the stairs" address, goes to investigate. And meets happy Harry. Happy and hyperactive. Mischiefer-in-chief is coming to Hogwarts.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 5 - Words: 10,099 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 32 - Follows: 31 - Updated: 12/31/2021 - Published: 12/9/2021 - Harry P., Hermione G., Severus S., Minerva M. - Complete
Killing Snakes Is Fun! reviews
Valiant knights, looking for heroic quest, come to Forbidden Forest! Form a line, wait for your turn, you will get your chance to kill a big bad snake! (or, at least the horcrux part of it) Collection of short humorous and/or cranky one-shots. Completely COMPLETE; no more chapters planned. Special thanks to my beta 'A Talking Cat'
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 8 - Words: 6,074 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 9/23/2021 - Published: 10/16/2020 - Nagini - Complete
Gift of Demise reviews
Happens during the summer before Harry's 6th Hogwarts year. When Dumbledore gets hold of Resurrection Stone he seizes the chance. Plan changed, Harry does not have to die. Alternative version of "The Tale of the Three Brothers". NOT for Dumbledore haters.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 5,654 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 10 - Updated: 8/6/2021 - Published: 6/17/2021 - Harry P., Severus S., Albus D. - Complete
Three times he was begged: Severus, Please reviews
Events take place in After-Life Domain. Lily begged Severus. And he repeated Dumbledore's question from long ago, "And what will you give me in return?" I'd mark the genre as REVENGE, but this website doesn't allow it.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Supernatural/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 617 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 2 - Published: 4/30/2021 - Lily Evans P., Severus S., Peter P. - Complete
Big boys don't play with teddy bears, do they? reviews
"Men have wasted away before it, entranced by what they have seen", Dumbledore said about Mirror Of Erised. That's exactly what happened to one particular boy. It's sad and depressing story.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Winnie-the-Pooh - Rated: K+ - English - Tragedy/Supernatural - Chapters: 1 - Words: 588 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 2 - Published: 3/8/2021 - Mirror of Erised - Complete
One Year Earlier - Power of Alliterations reviews
All 4 Founders had their first and last names starting with the same letter. In Harry Potter Hogwarts years - 3 of House Heads follow this pattern but the 4th - does not. It's not accidental - it's part of the plan. (The 1st installment in the series 'N years earlier; The Powers')
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 2,330 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 11 - Updated: 10/3/2020 - Published: 9/19/2020 - Severus S., P. Sprout, Founders - Complete
Silly disclaimers reviews
It would be boring to use the same disclaimer over and over. Here are some disclaimers for everybody's use.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 329 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 1 - Published: 9/27/2020 - Complete
The Nightfall Song
Somebody may have sung it on the planet Lagash before The Nightfall.
Foundation - Rated: K - English - Poetry/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 128 - Published: 9/1/2020 - Complete
The Queen of the Cats reviews
Short and silly. McGonagall's animagus form is not a COMMON stray cat.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Fairy Tales - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 159 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Published: 8/30/2020 - Minerva M., Millicent B. - Complete
Much aberrado about Goblet reviews
Everything was going smoothly, like clockwork, according to canon and suddenly ... Goblet of Fire did NOT spit out Harry Potter's name! How such absurd insanity could be explained? Only with insane absurdity!
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 3 - Words: 3,634 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 8/26/2020 - Published: 8/11/2020 - Harry P., Albus D., Luna L., Sybill T. - Complete
Hermione's way reviews
What would be the best weapon for Hermione against Voldemort? The answer is obvious: A BOOK! Hermione sends certain book to the past and changes history. No death eaters, no Dark Lord! Just Head of Department of Mysteries, Mr. Tom Riddle.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 8,173 - Reviews: 25 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 26 - Updated: 7/4/2020 - Published: 5/30/2020 - Hermione G., Tom R. Jr., Myrtle - Complete
They who run on waves reviews
"My real name is Frasie Grant," said Luna "And I am 240 years old." Slight crossover with "She who runs on the waves" (Russian: "Бегущая по волнам") by Alexander Grin (Александр Грин); all needed background is included in this story.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Fantasy - Chapters: 3 - Words: 2,288 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 5/5/2020 - Published: 4/22/2020 - Luna L., Neville L. - Complete
Tradition reviews
Mrs. Wesley knew that the platform number is 9 3/4 . Why did she ask?
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Family/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 294 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 2 - Published: 4/11/2020 - Ginny W., Molly W., Lily Luna P. - Complete