Hello my name is...

The Reader

The Watcher (not marvel)

Black Guy (white girls)

A CLERIC OF CHAOS (Self appointed)

S-Man

Random Dude

My likes are reading but that's why I'm here. One of my favorite types are when the one whose looked down on or are neglected strike. Another is when an experience happens, like being pushed to far. They become so much more. A warrior. A hero. A monster.

Also I love WOLVES so you may see them quite a bit. Along with character bashing, so much character bashing.

Anything abridged by TEAM FOUR STAR

I also like bladed weapons.

My dislikes are incomplete stories. That goes to so many of you out there-

And Twilight. (shudders)

My favorite stories will make you feel, so come and let's thaw your heart with stories from other peoples we'll never care about.

FAVORITE BOOKS

Demonata series

Cirque Du Freak series (The movie was an insult)

Percy Jackson and The Olympians series (The Movies were an insult)

Bloody Jack Series

Of Mice and Men

The Charlie Bone series

May Bird series

Last Apprentice Series

FAVORITE ANIME/MANGA

My Hero Academia

Yu Yu Hakusho

Outlaw Star

Naruto (I like when he gains some ability and becomes a bad ass. Family Neglecting him. Sakura, Civilian and civilian Council bashing. I can go either way with bashing of Sasuke, Kakashi, Shinobi council, Rookie 9-12. Harem)

Bleach

Hellsing

Inuyasha

One Piece

Psyren

Code Breaker

Princess Resurrection

Pokemon

FAVORITE CARTOONS

Teen Titans (I like when Beast Boy realizes his full potential. Tired of being the laughing stock. Paired with any woman"

Danny Phantom (Not accepted by family. Has enough of being hunted. Gains new power.)

Ed, Edd, N Eddy

Amazing world of Gumball

Happy Tree Friends

Total Drama Series (Horror stories are the best. Cody and any women.)

Code Lyoko

The Simpsons

Family Guy

The Cleveland Show

American Dad

P.S. PLEASE if you know any stories like the ones in my FAV. let me know. NO YOAI ALLOWED END OF STORY.

A guy and a girl were speeding over 100km on a motorcyle.

Girl: Slow down!

Guy: No, this is fun!

Girl: No it's not! Please, it's way to scary!

Guy: Then tell me you love me.

Girl: I love you. Now slow down.

Guy: Now give me a big hug.

She gave him a big hug.

Guy: Can you take off my helmet and put it on yourself? It's bothering me.

In the newspaper, the next day, a motorcycle crashed into a building because of break failure.

Two people were on it and only one survived.

The truth was, that half way down the road the guy realized his breaks were out and he didn't want the girl to know.

Instead, he had her hug him and tell him she loved him one last time. Then he had her put his helmet on so she would live even if it meant he would die.

If you would do the same for the person you love, copy and paste this into your profile

Jesus had no servants, yet they called him Master...

He had no degree, yet they called him Teacher...

He had no medicine, yet they called him Healer...

He had no army, yet kings feared him...

He won no military battles, yet he conquered the World...

He committed no crime, yet they crucified Him...

He was buried in a tomb, yet He lives today

Feel honored to serve such a leader who loves us...

If you believe and God and Jesus Christ is His son...

Then copy and paste this into your profile

7 reasons not to mess with kids

Reason 1 A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible. The little girl said, “When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah.” The teacher asked, ” What if Jonah went to hell?” The little girl replied, “Then you ask him”.

Reason 2 A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child’s work. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was. The girl replied, “I’m drawing God.” The teacher paused and said, “But no one knows what God looks like.” Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, “They will in a minute.”

Reason 3 A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year old After explaining the commandment to “honor” thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, “Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?” Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, “Thou shall not kill.”

Reason 4 One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head. She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, “Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?” Her mother replied, “Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white.” The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, “Momma, how come ALL of grandma’s hairs are white?”

Reason 5 The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. “Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, ‘There’s Jennifer, she’s a lawyer,’ or ‘That’s Michael, he’s a doctor.’ A small voice at the back of the room rang out,”And there’s the teacher, she’s dead. ”

Reason 6 A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, “Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face..” “Yes,” the class said. “Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn’t run into my feet?” A little fellow shouted, “Cause your feet ain’t empty.”

Reason 7 The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: “Take only ONE. God is watching.” Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note, “Take all you want - God is watching the apples.

If you believe in Jesus Christ put this in your profile and don't just ignore this, because in the Bible it says if you deny me, I will deny you in front of my Father

TRUE STORY: A teenage girl, about 17, named Diane, had gone to visit some friends one evening, and time passed quickly as each shared his/her various experiences of the past year. She ended up staying longer than planned and had to walk home alone. She wasn't afraid because it was a small town, and she lived only a few blocks away. As she walked under the tall elm trees, Diane asked God to keep her safe from harm and danger.

When she reached the alley, which was a short cut to her house, she decided to take it. However, halfway down the alley, she noticed a man standing at the end as though he was waiting for her. She became uneasy and began to pray, asking for God's protection.

Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness and security wrapped around her; she felt though someone was walking with her. When she reached the end of the alley, she walked right past the man and arrived home safely.

The following day, she read in the newspaper that a young girl had been raped in the same alley way just twenty minutes after she had been there. Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and the fact that it could have been her, she began to weep.

Thanking the Lord for her safety and to help this young woman, she decided to go to the police station. She felt she could recognize the man, so she told them her story. The police asked her if she would be willing to look at a lineup to see if she can identify him.

She agreed and immediately pointed out the man she had seen in the alley the night before. When the man have been identified, he immediately broke down and confessed. The officer thanked Diane for her bravery and asked if there was anything they can do for her.

She asked if they can ask the man one question. Diane was curious as to why he had not attacked her.

When the policeman asked him, he answered, "Because she wasn't alone. She had two tall men walking either side of her."

Amazingly, whether you believe or not, you're never alone.

Did you know that 98% of teenagers will not stand up for God, and 93% of the people that read this won't re-post it? Re-post this if you truly believe in God. PS: God is always there in your heart and loves you no matter what, and if you stand up for him he will stand up for you. (Amen to that!)

Copy and Paste this VVVV if you will NEVER forget Gravity Falls

I promise to be like Dipper and try to solve the unknown
I promise to remember Tambry when I see someone too attached to their phone
I promise to be like Pacifica and stand up for what’s right
I promise to be like Soos and help everyone in sight
I promise to be like Mabel and love my brothers
I promise to be like Wendy and confront rude others
I promise to be like Ford and remember being smart isn’t bad
I promise to think of Stan’s jokes whenever I’m sad
I promise to be like Candy and Grenda and not care what anyone says
I promise to never be like Bill and live my life good for the rest of my days
I promise to remember this little show
And everything it did to help me grow

And I will never forget Gravity Falls ️

Difference between a strategists and mastermind

-A strategist gather's intel to evaluate probabilities

-A mastermind manipulates intel to stack the odds

We’ve all heard about people having guts or balls. But do you really know the difference between them? In an effort to keep you informed, the definition of each is listed below:

“GUTS” is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being assaulted by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to say, “are you still cleaning or are you flying somewhere?”

“BALLS” is coming home late after a night out with the guys smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the ass and having the balls to say, “You’re next!”

We hope this clears up any confusion,

The International Council of Manhood, Ltd.

Insanity: Knowing what you're doing is completely stupid, but you can't stop yourself from doing it again and again.

I don't suffer from insanity I ENJOY EVERY FUCKING MOMENT OF IT.

Love is temporary insanity, the cure is marriage.

Insanity the reason your anime characters are awesome.

You need a little bit of insanity to do great things. Trust me.

Insanity is the definition of fun.

Plead insanity it will get you out of anything, except insanity.

Insanity because courage is for pussies.

Insanity has no end, much like humanity's stupidity.

A non-writing writer is a monster courting insanity.

Embrace insanity fun times will come, till your sanity and common sense step in and you realize you're fucked.

The final insanity, doing the same ship for the same anime/show for all your fanfics.

Spread this and place it on your profile and add your name to the list if you know you're insane. Darren the Madman & Insanity, The Howling Behemoth

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty

uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal

pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a

rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't

mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the

olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer

be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl

mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.

Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed

ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.

Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas toghuht slpeling

was ipmorantt! tahts so cool!

If you could read that put it in your profile!

You're a great friend, but if zombies are chasing us, I'm tripping you

You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder

Never knock on Death's door, ring the doorbell and run away, he hates that.

Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way you're a mile away from them and you have their shoes.

I'm sick of following my dreams, I'm just gonna ask where they're going and hook up with them later.

When it rains on my party, I bust out the slip n' slide.

Help I've fallen and I can't...hey nice carpet!

I want to live forever...so far so good.

This is a true story. A girl died in 1933. A man buried her when she was still alive. The murder chanted, "Toma Sota balcu," as he buried her. Now that you have read this chant, you will meet this little girl. In the middle of the night she will be on your ceiling. She will suffocate you like she was suffocated. If you post this on your profile, she will not bother you. Your kindness will be rewarded. Lucillia

About six years ago in Indiana, Carmen Winstead was pushed down a sewer opening by five girls in her school, trying to embarrass her in front of her school during a fire drill. When she didn't submerge, the police were called. They went down and brought up 17-year-old Carmen Winstead's body, with her neck broken from hitting the ladder, then the concrete at the bottom. The girls told everyone that she fell...and they believed them.

THEY HURT HER

FACT: About two months later, 16-year-old David Gregory read this post but didn't repost it. When he went to take a shower, he heard laughter, started freaking out, and ran to his computer to repost it. He said goodnight to his mom and went to sleep, but five hours later, his mom woke up in the middle of the night from a loud noise and David was gone. A few hours later, the police found him in the sewer, with a broken neck and the skin on his face peeled off.

Even Google her name - you'll find this to be true.

If you don't repost saying "They hurt her," then Carmen will get you, either from a sewer, the toilet, the shower, or when you go to sleep, you'll wake up in the sewer, in the dark, then Carmen will come and kill you. (They hurt her)

(P.S THIS IS FAKE HAHAHAHHA, oh man)

I have discovered the equation to go over the top in everything!

If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z is represented as:

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.

Then:

H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K
8118423151811 = 98 percent
and

K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E
11141523125475 = 96 percent

but
A-T-T-I -T-U-D-E
120209202145 = 100 percent

and,

B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T
2211212198920 = 103 percent

AND, look how far ass kissing will take you.

A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G
1191911919199147 = 118 percent

So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that while HARDWORK and KNOWLEDGE will get you close, and ATTITUDE will get you there, its really the BULLSHIT and the ASS KISSING that will put you over the top.

93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile and add your name to the list: Sunlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Moonlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Evil Genius of the COCA, Invader Miley Phantom, dAnnYsGiRl777, BloodySalvation, Lady Lost-A-Lot, bellabookworm9, Bella Masen Cullen, Vampire Scooby, Alannaswarrior, SpottedLilly, Alleyanna Cullen, hugs.4.all.the.emo.boyz, WritingRocks6, GlindaFied26, XxXpurplelilyxXx, Bookluvrxoxo, Daydreamer897, The Friendly Chupacabra, Shorty and KG Inc., AVirgoGirl, xcheergrlx3, Mrs.DiAngelo, Nico's Future Wife, DaughterofPoseidon32498, A PJO, Fan Lil Mexican, Ariel Night, jackarchbeam, The-Moon-is -my-Mistress

95% of teens would be crying if Justin Bieber was on a 100 ft tall building about to jump. If you are some of the 5% who brought popcorn and friends, add this to your signature.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this into your profile

"Curiosity killed the cat, but it saved the dog, fed the snake, and amused the fox. Which are you?"

You say BABY PINK
I say BLOOD RED
You say HANNAH MONTANA
I say THREE DAYS GRACE
You say ZAC EFRON
I say NARUTO
You say RAP
I say ROCK
You say Im WEIRD
I say YES I AM
92 of the teenage population has moved on to RAP.
If YOU are part of the 8 that still headbang and love rock then put this on ur site!

If you've ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile

If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile

If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile.

Ninety-five percent of teenagers are concerned about being popular. If you are one of the five percent who aren't, copy and paste this into your profile.

92 percent of teenagers would die if Abercrombie and Fitch told them it wasn't cool to breathe. Put this in your profile if you would be part of the 8 percent laughing your ass off.

If your obsessed with dragons, foxes, wolves and fantasy copy and paste this in your profile.

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, then weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile

Thinkings: Humanity is screwed, proven fact, and we are screwed by the new generation. War from the old generation that would most likely be involving the people in charge you know who I'm talking about. And for the fact humanity is screwed for the fact we are greedy monsters with no end to our desires for better, and bigger things which would lead to our downfall.

In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual labels on consumer goods:

On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. ( that's the only time I have to work on my hair!).

On a bag of Fritos! ..You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special)?

On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be how?...)

On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's "just" a suggestion).

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh)!

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (...and you thought?...)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time?)

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and.. .I'm taking this because?...)

On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to...what?)

On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)

On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)

On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)

On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands." (...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the stupidity copy and paste this into your profile! XD

Things to Do in an Exam you Already Know That You are Going to Fail:

1. Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming "Andre, Andre, I've got the secret documents!!"

2. Talk the entire way through the exam. Read questions aloud, debate your answers with yourself out loud. If asked to stop, yell out, "I'm SOOO sure that you can hear me thinking." Then start talking about what a jerk the instructor is.

3. Bring a Game Boy. Play with the volume at max level.

4. On the answer sheet find a new, interesting way to refuse to answer every question. For example: I refuse to answer this question on the grounds that it conflicts with my religious beliefs. Be creative.

5. Run into the exam room looking about frantically. Breathe a sigh of relief. Go to the instructor, say "They've found me, I have to leave the country" and run off.

6. 15 min. into the exam, stand up, rip up all the papers into very small pieces, throw them into the air and yell out "Merry Christmas." If you're really daring, ask for another copy of the exam. Say you lost the first one. Repeat this process every 15 min.

7. Come into the exam wearing slippers, a bathrobe, a towel on your head, and nothing else.

8. Come down with a BAD case of Torte’s Syndrome during the exam. Be as vulgar as possible.

9. Bring things to throw at the instructor when she/he is not looking. Blame it on the person nearest to you.

10. As soon as the instructor hands you the exam, eat it.

12. Turn in the exam approx. 30 min. into it. As you walk out, start commenting on how easy it was.

13. Get the exam. 20 min into it, throw your papers down violently, scream out "Fuck this!" and walk out triumphantly.

15. Show up completely drunk (completely drunk means at some point during the exam, you should start crying for mommy).

16. Comment on how sexy the instructor is looking that day.

17. Come to the exam wearing a black cloak. After about 30 min, put on a white mask and start yelling "I'm here, the phantom of the opera" until they drag you away.

18. If the exam is math/sciences related, make up the longest proofs you could possible think of. Get pi and imaginary numbers into most equations. If it is a written exam, relate everything to your own life story.

19. Try to get people in the room to do a wave.

20. Bring some large, cumbersome, ugly idol. Put it right next to you. Pray to it often. Consider a small sacrifice.

22. Puke into your exam booklet. Hand it in. Leave.

23. Take 6 packages of rice cakes to the exam. Stuff at least 2 rice cakes into your mouth at once. Chew, then cough. Repeat if necessary.

25. Walk in, get the exam, sit down. About 5 min into it, loudly say to the instructor, "I don't understand ANY of this. I've been to every lecture all semester long! What's the deal? And who the hell are you? Where's the regular guy?"

26. Do the entire exam in another language. If you don't know one, make one up!

27. Bring a black marker. Return the exam with all questions and answers completely blacked out.

28. Every now and then, clap twice rapidly. If the instructor asks why, tell him/her in a very derogatory tone, "the light bulb that goes on above my head when I get an idea is hooked up to a clapper. DUH!"

30. After you get the exam, call the instructor over, point to any question, ask for the answer. Try to work it out of him/her.

31. In the middle of the test, have a friend rush into the classroom, tag your hand, and resume taking your test for you. When the teacher asks what's going on, calmly explain the rules of Tag Team Testing to him/her.

32. Bring cheat sheets FOR ANOTHER CLASS (make sure this is obvious... like history notes for a calculus exam... otherwise you're not just failing, you're getting kicked out too) and staple them to the exam, with the comment "Please use the attached notes for references as you see fit."

33. Stand up after about 15 minutes, and say loudly, "Okay, let's double-check our answers! Number one, A. Number two, C. Number three, E..."

35. Wear a superman outfit under your normal clothes. 30 minutes into the exam, jump up and answer your phone, shouting "What? I'm on my way!!". rip off your outer clothes and run out of the room. Strike a pose first for added effect.

38. Bring a giant cockroach into the room and release it on a girl nearby.

40. Bring one pencil with a very sharp point. Break the point off your paper. Sharpen the pencil. Repeat this process for one hour.

41. Make Strange noises... get people to stare... look at the person next to you as if he/she did it.

44. Use Invisible Ink to answer the whole exam.

45. Order catering. The catering company should come in about halfway through the test, and should include at least three waiters, eight carts of food, and five candelabras.

"A girl died in 1933. A man buried her when she was still alive. The murder chanted, "Toma Sota balcu," as he buried her. Now that you have read this chant, you will meet this little girl. In the middle of the night she will be on your ceiling. She will suffocate you like she was suffocated. If you post this on your profile, she will not bother you. Your kindness will be rewarded."

-SparkDazzleDuez

20 Ways to Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity

1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.

2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.

3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.

4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "In."

5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

6. In the memo field of all your checks write, "for smuggling diamonds."

7. Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with the prophecy."

8. Don't use any punctuations.

9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

10. Order a diet water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

11. Specify that your drive-through order is, "To go."

12. Sing along at the opera.

13. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme?

14. Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day.

15. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.

16. Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Bottom.

17. When the money comes out the ATM, scream, "I won!, I won!"

18. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling, "Run for your lives, they're loose!"

19. Tell your children over dinner, "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."

20. And the final way to keep a healthy level of insanity... copy and paste this into your profile!

- And behold, I shall be a blight upon the land,
and everything I touch shall wither and die!

Total slaughter total slaughter

I won't leave a single man alive

La de da de die

Genocide

La de da de dud

An ocean of blood

Lets begin the killing time...

“Anger ... it's a paralyzing emotion ... you can't get anything done. People sort of think it's an interesting, passionate, and igniting feeling — I don't think it's any of that — it's helpless ... it's absence of control — and I need all of my skills, all of the control, all of my powers ... and anger doesn't provide any of that — I have no use for it whatsoever."

-Toni Morrison

“Knowledge is power. Power to do evil...or power to do good. Power itself is not evil. So knowledge itself is not evil.”
-Veronica Roth

“When life gives you lemons, don’t make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don’t want your damn lemons, what the hell am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life’s manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I’m the man who’s gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I’m gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!”

Now go to hell and say that I send you there

I came to the world with my legs forward

and the woman cried "He was born with teeth!"

I had no father, I am my own father

I have no brother, I am like no brother

and this word 'love,' which old farts call divine

be resident in men like you asshole

and not in me, I am my motherfucking self...alone

Ladies and Gentlemen, skinny and stout,
I'll tell you a tale I know nothing about;
The Admission is free, so pay at the door,
Now pull up a chair and sit on the floor.

One fine day in the middle of the night,
Two dead boys got up to fight;
Back to back they faced each other,
Drew their swords and shot each other.

A blind man came to watch fair play,
A mute man came to shout "Horray!"
A deaf policeman heard the noise and
Came to stop those two dead boys.

He lived on the corner in the middle of the block,
In a two-story house on a vacant lot;
A man with no legs came walking by,
and kicked the lawman in his thigh.

He crashed through a wall without making a sound,
into a dry creek bed and suddenly drowned;
The long black hearse came to cart him away,
But he ran for his life and is still gone today.

I watched from the corner of the big round table,
The only eyewitness to facts of my fable;
But if you doubt my lies are true,
Just ask the blind man, he saw it too.

Strolling in the woods,

Funny creatures we shall meet!

If we run out of food,

It is them I shall eat!

I challenge the laws of nature and reason by summoning the power of destruction. Veluta aim kifa kifa, samda makav. Magna Blast, EXIST

I challenge the laws of nature and reason, by summoning the power of annihilation. Groten, grotenate in sins, vortex, exist!

I challenge the laws of nature and reason by summoning the power that's forbidden. Sokum sokum rah, asper uke unt, kotsef peo kois, asp asp asperon. Accelerator, EXIST!

“Peace is lie, there is only passion.

Through passion, I gain strength.

Through strength, I gain power.

Through power, I gain victory.

Through victory my chains are broken.

The force shall set me free.”

-Darth Revan

Voilà! In view, a humble vaudevillian veteran cast vicariously as both victim and villain by the vicissitudes of Fate. This visage, no mere veneer of vanity, is a vestige of the vox populi, now vacant, vanished. However, this valourous visitation of a bygone vexation stands vivified and has vowed to vanquish these venal and virulent vermin vanguarding vice and vouchsafing the violently vicious and voracious violation of volition! The only verdict is vengeance; a vendetta held as a votive, not in vain, for the value and veracity of such shall one day vindicate the vigilant and the virtuous. Verily, this vichyssoise of verbiage veers most verbose, so let me simply add that it's my very good honour to meet you and you may call me V.

-V

My children. We must not fail. I told you all I'd reclaim you from the veil of tears, and so I have. And now you must be ready for your work. Go forth and bring my terror to this place. Spread my gospel across this tomb of a globe we remain trapped upon. Punish and terrify every single living thing you can. You must not tire and you must not fail... ... Show no mercy here; show no patience for these vermin. See them driven before you. Beat them and maul them and break them any way you know how. Do not stop. Make them tremble. Make them beg. Fill them with doubt and panic. And fear...

-Serpent

"I don't care who I have to fight!
If he rips my arms out, I'll kick him to death!
If he rips my legs off, I'll bite him to death!
If he rips my head off, I'll stare him to death!
And if he gouges out my eyes, I'll curse him from the grave!
Even If I'm torn to shreds, I'm taking Sasuke back from Orochimaru!"

-Naruto

With blood and rage of crimson red,

Ripped from a corpse so freshly dead,

Together with our hellish hate,We'll burn you all--That is your fate!

-Red Lantern Oath

In blackest day, in brightest night,

Beware your fears made into light

Let those who try to stop what's right,

Burn like my power*... Sinestro's might!

-Yellow Lantern Oath

The Blackest Night falls from the skies,

The darkness grows as all light dies.

We crave your hearts and your demise,

By my black hand, the dead shall rise!

-Black lantern Oath

For hearts long lost and full of fright,

For those alone in Blackest Night.

Accept our ring and join our fight,

Love conquers all with violet light!

Violet Lantern Oath

In fearful day, in raging night,

With strong hearts full, our souls ignite.

When all seems lost in the War of Light,

Look to the stars, for hope burns bright!

-Blue Lantern Oath

"Your suffering will be legendary, even in hell."

"Oh, no tears please, for it's a waste of good suffering."

"We have such sights to show you"

"We'll tear your soul apart."

"Pain has a face; allow me to show it to you. I. Am. Pain."

"Demons to some, Angels to others."

"Ah, such a limited imagination."

"Down the dark decades of your pain, this will seem like a memory of Heaven."

"Just come here and die child, while you still have the option of doing it quickly. "

-Pinhead

“Be very careful if you make a woman cry, because God counts her tears. The woman came out of a man's rib. Not from his feet to be walked on. Not from his head to be superior, but from the side to be equal. Under the arm to be protected, and next to the heart to be loved.”

-A.W. Streane

A black man walks into a cafe one early morning and noticed that he was the only black man there. As he sat down, he noticed a white man behind him.

The white man said, "Coloured people are not allowed here."
The black man turned around and stood up. He then said:
"When I was born I was black,"
"When I grew up I was black,"
"When I'm sick I'm black,"
"When I go in the sun I'm black,"
"When I'm cold I'm black,"
"When I die I'll be black."
"But you sir..."
"When you're born you're pink,"
"When you grow up you're white,"
"When you're sick, you're green,"
"When you go in the sun you turn red,"
"When you're cold you turn blue,"
"And when you die you turn purple."
"And yet you have the nerve to call me coloured"
The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away...
Copy this onto your site and help stop racism!

1) I NEED TO TELL YOU A SECRET (LO0K AT #5)

2) THE ANSWER IS (L0OK AT #11)

3) D0NT GET MAD (L0OK AT #15)

4) CALM DOWN DONT BE TICKED OFF ( L0OK AT #13)

5) FIRST (L0OK AT #2)

6) D0NT BE THAT MAD (L0OK AT #12)

7) I JUST WANTED TO SAY HI...LOL

8 ) WHAT I WANTED TO TELL YOU IS...(THE ANSWER IS ON #14)

9) BE PATIENT (L0OK AT #4)

10) THIS IS THE LAST TIME IMMA DO THIS (L0OK AT #7)

11) IM NOT MAD WHEN IM SAYIN THIS (L0OK AT#6)

12) S0RRY (L0OK AT #8 )

13) D0NT BE GETTIN ALL HYPE (L0OK AT #10)

14) I D0NT KNOW HOW TO SAY THIS (L0OK AT #3)

15) YOU MUST BE REALLY TICKED OFF (L0OK AT NUMBER #9)

My name is Kelly

My name Kelly

I am only three,

My eyes are swollen

I cannot see,

I must be stupid

I must be bad,

What else could have made

My daddy so mad?

I wish I were better

I wish I weren't ugly,

Then maybe my mommy

Would still want to hug me.

I can't speak at all

I can't do a wrong

Or else I'm locked up

All the day long

When I awake I'm all alone

The house is dark

My folks aren't home.

When my mommy does come

I'll try and be nice,

So maybe I'll get just

One whipping tonight

Don't make a sound!

I just heard a car

My daddy is back

From Charlie's Bar.

I hear him curse

My name he calls

I press myself

Against the wall.

I try and hide

From his evil eyes

I'm so afraid now

I'm starting to cry.

He finds me weeping

He shouts ugly words,

He says its my fault

That he suffers at work.

He slaps me and hits me

And yells at me more,

I finally get free

And I run for the door.

He's already locked it

And I start to bawl,

He takes me and throws me

Against the hard wall.

I fall to the floor

With my bones nearly broken,

And my daddy continues

With more bad words spoken.

"I'm sorry!", I scream

But its now much too late

His face has been twisted

Into unimaginable hate.

The hurt and the pain

Again and again

Oh please God, have mercy!

Oh please let it end!

And he finally stops

And heads for the door,

While I lay there motionless

Sprawled on the floor.

My name is Kelly

I am only three,

Tonight my daddy,

Murdered me.

Child abuse, MAKE IT STOP!

Her name was Aurora

Her name was Aurora
She was only five
This is what happened
When she was alive

Her dad was a drunk
Her mom was an addict
Her parents kept her
Locked in an attic

Her only friend
was a little toy bear
It was old and worn out
And had patches of hair

She always talked to it
When no one's around
She lays there and hugs it
Not a peep of sound

Until her parents
unlock the door
Some more and more pain
She'll have to endure

A bruise on her leg
A scar on her face
Why would she be
In such a horrible place?

But she grabs her bear
And softly cries
She loves her parents
But they want her to die

She sits in the corner
Quiet but thinking,
"God, why? Why is
My life always sinking?"

Such a bad life
For a sad little kid
She'd get beaten and beaten
For anything she did

Then one night
Her mom came home high
The poor child was hit and slapped
As hours went by

Then her mom suddenly
Grabbed for a blade
It was sharp and pointy
One that she made

She thrust the blade
Right in her chest,
"You deserve to die
You worthless pest!"

The mom walked out
Leaving the girl slowly dying
She grabbed her bear
And again started crying

Police showed up
At the small little house
They quickly barged in
Everything was as quiet as a mouse

One officer slowly
Opened a door
To find the sad little girl
Lying on the floor

It must have been bad
To go through so much harm
But at least she died
With her best friend in her arms

A 15 year old girl holds hands with her 1 year old son. People call her a slut, no one knows she was raped at 13.

People call another Guy fat, No one knows he has a serious disease causing him to be overweight .

People call an old man ugly, No one knew he had a serious injury to his face while fighting for our country in the war.

Re-post this if you are against bullying and stereotyping.

This next bit here is one of the cutest, saddest things ever...

I was walking around in a Target store, when I saw a Cashier hand this little boy some money back.

The boy couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 years old.

The Cashier said, 'I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy this doll.'

Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him: ''Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?''

The old lady replied: ''You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.''

Then she asked him to stay there for just 5 minutes while she went to look a round. She left quickly.

The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand.

Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to.

'It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for Christmas.

She was sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her.'

I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus would bring it to her after all, and not to worry.

But he replied to me sadly. 'No, Santa Claus can't bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there.'

His eyes were so sad while saying this. 'My Sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.''

My heart nearly stopped.

The little boy looked up at me and said: 'I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from the mall.'

Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing. He then told me 'I want mommy to take my picture with her so she won't forget me.'

'I love my mommy and I wish she doesn't have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister.'

Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly.

I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. 'Suppose we check Again, just in case you do have enough money for the doll?''

'OK' he said, 'I hope I do have enough.' I added some of my money to his with out him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for the doll and even some spare money.

The little boy said: 'Thank you God for giving me enough money!'

Then he looked at me and added, 'I asked last night before I went to sleep for God to make sure I had enough money to buy this doll, so that mommy could give It to my sister. He heard me!''

'I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn't dare to ask God for too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose.''

'My mommy loves white roses.'

A few minutes later, the old lady returned and I left with my basket.

I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I started.

I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind.

Then I remembered a local news paper article two days ago, which mentioned a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car occupied by a young woman and a little girl.

The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-sustaining machine, because the young woman would not be able to recover from the coma.

Was this the family of the little boy?

Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the news paper that the young woman had passed away.

I couldn't stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to the funeral home where the body of the young woman was exposed for people to see and make last wishes before her burial.

She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest.

I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed for ever. The love that the little boy had for his mother and his sister is still, to this day, hard to imagine.

And in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him.

Now you have 2 choices:

1) Repost this message, or 2) Ignore it as if it never touched your heart.

Month one

Mommy
I am only 8 inches long
but I have all my organs.
I love the sound of your voice.
Every time I hear it
I wave my arms and legs.
The sound of your heart beat
is my favorite lullaby.

Month Two

Mommy
Today I learned how to suck my thumb.
If you could see me,
you could definitely tell that I am a baby.
I'm not big enough to survive outside my home though.
It is so nice and warm in here.

Month Three

You know what Mommy
I'm a boy!!
I hope that makes you happy.
I always want you to be happy.
I don't like it when you cry.
You sound so sad.
It makes me sad too
and I cry with you even though
you can't hear me.

Month Four

Mommy
My hair is starting to grow.
It is very short and fine
but I will have a lot of it.
I spend a lot of my time exercising.
I can turn my head and curl my fingers and toes
and stretch my arms and legs.
I am becoming quite good at it too.

Month Five

You went to the doctor today.
Mommy, he lied to you.
He said that I'm not a baby.
I am a baby Mommy, your baby.
I think and feel.
Mommy, what's abortion?

Month Six

I can hear that doctor again.
I don't like him.
He seems cold and heartless.
Something is intruding my home.
The doctor called it a needle.
Mommy what is it? It burns!
Please make him stop!
I can't get away from it!
Mommy! HELP me!

Month Seven

Mommy
I am okay.
I am in Jesus's arms.
He is holding me.
He told me about abortion.
Why didn't you want me Mommy?

Every Abortion Is Just . . .

One more heart that was stopped.
Two more eyes that will never see.
Two more hands that will never touch.
Two more legs that will never run.
One more mouth that will never speak.

One more heart that will never love.

If you're against abortion, re-post this

(God, this is one of the worst things to EVER happen)

If you believe in Jesus Christ put this in your profile and don't just ignore this, because in the Bible it says if you deny me, I will deny you in front of my Father in the gates of Heaven.

I'm Sorry

I'm sorry
that I bought you roses
to tell you that I like you

I'm sorry
That I was raised with respect
not to sleep with you when you were drunk

I'm sorry
That my body's not ripped enough
to "satisfy" your wants

I'm sorry
that I open your car door,
and pull out your chair like I was raised

I'm sorry
That I'm not cute enough
to be "your guy"

I'm sorry
That I am actually nice;
not a jerk

I'm sorry
I don't have a huge bank account to buy you expensive things

I'm sorry
I like to spend quality nights at home
cuddling with you, instead of at a club

I'm sorry
I would rather make love to you then just screw you
like some random guy.

I'm sorry
That I am always the one you need to talk to,
but never good enough to date

I'm sorry
That I always held your hair back when you threw up, and didn't get mad at you for puking in my car,
but when we went out you went home with another guy

I'm sorry
That I am there to pick you up at 4am when your new man hit you and dropped you off in the middle of nowhere,
but not good enough to listen to me when I need a friend

I'm sorry
If I start not being there because it hurts being used as a door mat, only to be thrown to the side when the new jerk comes around

I'm sorry
If I don't answer my phone anymore when you call, to listen to you cry for hours, instead of getting a couple hours of sleep before work

I'm sorry
that you can't realize.. I've been the one all along.

I'm sorry
If you read this and know somebody like this
but don't care

But most of all

I'm sorry
For not being sorry anymore

I'm sorry
That you can't accept me for who I am

I'm sorry
I can never do anything right, and nothing that I do is good
enough to make it in your world.

I'm sorry
I caught your boyfriend with another girl and told you about it, I thought that was what friends were for...

I'm sorry
That I told you I loved you and actually meant it.

I'm sorry
That I talked to you for nine hours on Thanksgiving when your boyfriend was threatening you instead of spending time with my family.

I'm Sorry
That I cared

I'm sorry
that I listen to you at night talking about how you wish you could have done something different.

Ladies always complain and gripe to their friends that there is never any good guys out there, and they always end up with assholes who mistreat them. Well ladies, next time you're complaining, maybe look up to see who you're complaining to, maybe that special someone is right there hanging on your every word as usual, screaming in his head "Why won't you give me a chance?"
Because the person you are usually searching for is right by you.

If you're a guy and you agree with this letter, copy and paste into your profile as 'I'm sorry'

girl meets a boy on a messenger

crazy1 86: hey baby!!

h0tNsPiCy91: who is this??

crazy1 86: ur secret admirer!!

h0tNsPiCy91: oh really... quit lyin! who is this??

crazy1 86: i loved u the first time a stared in your eyes...

crazy1 86: i think about u everyday... you are my dream come true.

crazy1 86: we met once! i dont think u remember tho.

crazy1 86: i cut myself because the pain takes away my feelings of u.

crazy1 86: u will see me sometime tonight...

h0tNsPiCy91: ..WHO IS THIS!?

crazy1 86:dont worry... ill take very good care of you...

crazy1 86 had signed off.

The girl was so scared she locked all her doors and windows. She made sure her room was secured. She wasn't sure if it was a joke or for real. She didn't know when he was going to come. The girl was so frightened she decided to sleep with her little sister. The girl dozed off quickly.

Then she heard a knock on the window. The girl slowly walked to the window. It started knocking louder. The girl looked through the windows and saw nothing... just some of the tree branches. The girl went back to bed with her sister. The bed was wet and had a pretty horrid smell. Maybe her sister wet the bed... the girl checked and found blood everywhere. The girl panicked. She didn't know what to do. She ran and hid in the closet in case the killer was there for her. While looking through the cracks of the closet the girl saw a shadow. It was dark, so she couldn't figure out who it was. She started to get more frightened. The shadow crept closer to the closet. The girl closed her eyes as if it was a dream. Then suddenly he opened the closet door and pulled her out.

Her parents found her dead the next morning. She was completely skinned and hanging in her sister's closet. The younger sister was also found skinned and dead.

PART 2...

Two years after the Smith sisters deaths, the parents had a baby boy. The girl's room became a guest room and the little sister's room where the murder took place became the baby's room. The baby grew up to be a successful kid.

One night he was on the computer and received an instant message.

h0tNsPiCy91: Hey lil bro!!

2seXay4u: Who the eff is this?

h0tNsPiCy91: It's your big sis.

2seXay4u: I never had a sister. I'm an only child.

2seXay4u: This is some kinda joke, huh?

h0tNsPiCy91: Mom and dad never told you?

h0tNsPiCy91: I died 15 years ago with your other older sister.

h0tNsPiCy91: We were murdered in your room which was once my little sister's room. She was killed in bed when I was sleeping. I was killed in the closet and skinned to death.

2seXay4u: Quit lying. I never had a sister. If I did my parents would have told me. Whatever. Your stupid.

h0tNsPiCy91: You don't believe me? Well if you wanna look in your closet floor.

h0tNsPiCy91: I carved my name and the time and date I was being murdered. Then I carved my little sister's name.

h0tNsPiCy91: If you don't believe me little brother check the internet. Google on ''Smith sisters murdered anonymously''.

h0tNsPiCy91: I gtg little brother. I love you and mom and dad soo much. I can't believe they kept us a secret from you. They should burn in hell.

The boy checked the closet. He saw the carvings. Was it true? He surfed the internet and information was there about the anonymous murder in the house. The next morning the boy went downstairs. It was so quiet. Maybe his parents were sleeping. Hours later the boy found his parents in their closet skinned and hanged. Then he found more carvings on the ground. They said ''I TOLD YOU I WASN'T LYING LITTLE BROTHER, I LOVED MOM AND DAD... BUT THEY KEPT ME A SECRET. I CAN'T BELIEVE IT. WELL I'M FREE FROM THIS COLD WORLD, I WON'T HURT YOU LIKE I HURT THEM. I LOVE YOU!"

- LISA SMITH

This is a death chain letter. If you don't repost this in the next hour, the parents will kill you at night. They will kill you!

Who Am I?

I am the boy...that doesn't go to school dances, and when I do go, I sit in a corner and read a book. I am the boy that people look through when I say something. I am the boy that spends most of his free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal. I am the boy that people call weird, and a freak either behind my back or to my face. I am the boy that doesn't spend all his time on MySpace, or talking about cars, girls or sex to his friends. I am the boy that hasn't been asked out in a year...or ever. I am the boy that has stopped to smell the flowers and jump and slash in the rain.

But I am also the boy who knows and is proud to be who he is, doesn't care if people call him weird (it's a compliment), who loves reading and writing and doing the things that no one seems to have the time to do any more, who can express himself better with words, and knows the importance of the little things.

Copy and paste this to your account, and add your name to the list, if you are anything like me, so the people who are different and unique can know in their weakest times that they are unique, but not alone.The First Kitsukage, Dragon of Time, The-Moon-is-my-Mistress

Chuck Norris Facts

Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck Norris met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.

Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.

In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Chuck Norris, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten.

Chuck Norris put humpty dumpty back together again, only to roundhouse kick him in the face. Later Chuck dined on scrambled eggs with all the king's horses and all the king's men. The king himself could not attend for unspecified reasons. Coincidentally, the autopsy revealed the cause of death to be a roundhouse kick to the face. There is only one King.

Chuck Norris knows where Carmen Sandiego is.

Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.

Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.

Chuck Norris' evil twin brother, Richard Simmons, once approached Chuck with the hope of reconciliation, but at the sight of Richard's curly, well kept hair, Chuck Norris became so enraged that he turned green with hate and ripped Richard Simmons arms and legs off. This action was the origin of the Marvel Comic badass, The Incredible Hulk.

If paper beats rock, rock beats scissors, and scissors beats paper, what beats all 3 at the same time? Answer: Chuck Norris.

Although it is not common knowledge, there are actually three sides to the Force: the light side, the dark side, and Chuck Norris.

When Chuck Norris was denied a Bacon McMuffin at McDonalds because it was 10:35, he roundhouse kicked the store so hard it became a KFC.

Chuck Norris is Luke Skywalker’s real father.

After much debate, President Truman decided to drop the atomic bomb on Hiroshima rather than the alternative of sending Chuck Norris. It was more "humane".

The show Survivor had the original premise of putting people on an island with Chuck Norris. there were no survivors and the pilot episode tape has been burned.

Chuck Norris originally appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch."

Faster than a speeding bullet ... more powerful than a locomotive ... able to leap tall buildings in a single bound... yes, these are some of Chuck Norris's warm-up exercises.

Chuck Norris discovered a new theory of relativity involving multiple universes in which Chuck Norris is even more badass than in this one. When it was discovered by Albert Einstein and made public, Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicked him in the face. We know Albert Einstein today as Stephen Hawking.

A picture is worth a thousand words. A Chuck Norris is worth 1 billion words.

When an episode of Walker Texas Ranger was aired in France, the French surrendered to Chuck Norris just to be on the safe side.

When Steven Seagal kills a ninja, he only takes its hide. When Chuck Norris kills a ninja, he uses every part.

Archaeologists unearthed an old english dictionary dating back to the year 1236. It defined "victim" as "one who has encountered Chuck Norris"

When Ranma Saotome killed the Phoenix God King Saffron, Chuck Norris, being a half a world away, looked up in pride, smiled and said “that’s my boy!”

Chuck Norris has a Chance in Hell.

Originally the Joker was Chuck’s arch-foe, but one roundhouse kick later, his skin turned white, his hair green and he headed for Gotham.

You really want to know how Joker got those scars? Chuck roundhouse kicked him in the face.

The reason why Outworld hadn’t went for their tenth win against Earth realm is because Raiden threatened to get Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris can defeat Darkside’s optic blasts with a roundhouse kick. (There os a pic of this on )

Chuck got Sparda, Dante’s father, out of hell.

Master Chief is Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris was sent ten thousand years to the past, met and married a goddess who in turn gave him a daughter. We know the child as: Sailor Moon.

Chuck doesn't wash his dishes, they get clean out of fear.

"I guess I'll just...take over the world. A world ruled by me, ruled by fear. A world where the times of unity, peace and light will be cloaked by the sheets of hate, war and darkness. A world where hellfire would be considered a safe haven. A world where the streets will run a river of blood with the corpses of those who would defy me. They will be boats to the crows and the rats and the vermin, chomping and picking at their flesh. A world in my hands, ruled by me. Ruled by I, Dio!"

-Jo Jo's Bizarre Adventures abridged.

TEN REASONS TO HATE NARUxSAKU

1. Naruto and Sakura are both to loud and don't balance each other out.

2. Most people only like them because they look good together. (They so do not in my opinion)

3. If Sasuke came back to the village Sakura would go directly to him and drop Naruto.

4. Sakura always hit Naruto and never gave him the time of day.

never comforted him like Hinata did, or give him courage...Like Hinata. (GO HINATA)

6. Sakura is to violent.

7.THEY DO NOT BALANCE EACH OTHER OUT AT ALL

8. Sakura is still in love with Sasuke because she came crying to Naruto to bring him back because she was a little weak pink genin.

9. Sakura only shows admiration for Naruto because he grew taller and became more hott. If he didn't Sakura still wouldn't like him because she only goes after the good looking guys. (Bitch)

10. NARUTO AND SAKURA DO NOT BELONG TOGETHER. SAKURA IS VIOLENT AND WILL ALWAYS HIT NARUTO.

If you agree post it on you profile

OBITUARY FOR THE LATE MR. COMMON SENSE:

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

He will be remembered for having cultivated such valuable lessons as: knowing when to come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the worm, life isn't always fair, and maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate, teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch, and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer Calpol, sun lotion, or a band-aid to a student, but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as The Ten Commandments became contraband, churches became businesses, and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents Truth and Trust, his wife Discretion, his daughter Responsibility, and his son Reason.

He is survived by his 3 stepbrothers I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.

REST IN PIECE TOONAMI.

From beginning to the very end I was there. I will never forget.

Tom and the Absolution
1997-2008

A great Character and a funny host

You will live on forever in this.

If you were there for Toonami from the beginning to end and now wish to honor it post this on your profile

Favorite shows and pairings

Naruto- I Love when hurt/neglected Naruto gets some kind of Bloodline, Weapon, or Power. He then uses his ability to go and take the shinobi world by storm. If he is banished the council should want or need him back for his heritage, title, or ability. Plenty of bashing.

Naru/ Harem

Naru/ Hinata

Naru/ Fem. Haku

Naru/ Anko

Naru/ Yugao

Naru/ Kurenai

Naru/ Tayuya

Naru/ Ino

Naru/ Kin

Naru/ Tsume

Naru/ Hana

Naru/ Fem. Kyuubi

Naru/ OC

Naru/ Mikoto

Naru/ Tsunade

Naru/ Fem. Sasuke

Naru/ Fem. Gaara

Danny Phantom-I like when he has family and love problems. Especially when pushed too far.

DP/ Harem

DP/ Ember

DP/ Desiree

DP/ Valerie

DP/ Paulina

DP/ Star

DP/ Jazz (I've only found one, it was part of a harem-If you know it, let me know.)

DP/ Penelope

DP/ Maddie

Teen Titans

Beast boy-I like when everyone sees Beast boy as weak or is emotionally unstable and is pushed too far. He should gain control of his power too a new level. When you can turn to animals then everyone is animal to someone. Or something.

BB/ Harem

BB/ Raven

BB/ Jinx

BB/ Terra

BB/ Black Fire

Adventure Time

Finn-

Finn/ Harem

Finn/ Marceline

Finn/ Flame Princess

Finn/ Princess Bubblegum

Ed,Edd n Eddy

Edd-

Edd/ Harem

Edd/ Marie

Edd/ May

Edd/ Nazz

Edd/ Sarah

Amazing World of Gumball

Gumball-

GB/ Harem

GB/ Carrie

GB/ Tina

GB/ Jamie

GB/ Nicole

Total Drama Series

Cody/Gwen

Gravity Falls

Dipper-

D/Harem

D/Wendy

D/Tambry

D/ Pacifica

D/Mabel

D/Oc

D/Fem. Bill

Avatar: The Last Air Bender

Smeller Bee/ Long shot

Azula/ Katara

Star Wars: Clone Wars

Ahsoka/ Captain Rex

Ahsoka/ Ventress

Pairings I don't do.

Any form of Yaoi-Nothing against them, just not for me.

Pairings I HATE.

Naru/ Sakura

... Damn... I hate the Naru/ Sakura pairing so much I'd settle for almost anything that's a non-yaoi.

Certain cross-over elements allowed.

Please send me challenges or at least ideas for my favorite shows (Non-yaoi)

MY STORIES WILL INCLUDE GENRES OF

-BETRAYAL

-NEGLECT

-BECOMING A MONSTER

-RUNNING AWAY

-SACRIFICE

-ROMANCE

-HORROR