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Joined 03-31-12, id: 3866606, Profile Updated: 08-22-12
Author has written 2 stories for Alex Rider, and Harry Potter.

Hi im currently working on Not A FReak, and im in middle school, i hope you dont criticise my story since im new at this... so yeah

Chapter 10 is up, and thanks to the reviewers!

And thanks to my editor

Here is 30 things to do in an exam if you know your going to fail it anyway:

1. Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming "Andre, Andre, I've got the secret documents!!"

2. Talk the entire way through the exam. Read questions aloud, debate your answers with yourself out loud. If asked to stop, yell out, "I'm SOOO sure that you can hear me thinking." Then start talking about what a jerk the instructor is.

3. Bring a Game Boy. Play with the volume at max level.

4. On the answer sheet find a new, interesting way to refuse to answer every question. For example: I refuse to answer this question on the grounds that it conflicts with my religious beliefs. Be creative.

5. Run into the exam room looking about frantically. Breathe a sigh of relief. Go to the instructor, say "They've found me, I have to leave the country" and run off. 6. 15 min. into the exam, stand up, rip up all the papers into very small pieces, throw them into the air and yell out "Merry Christmas." If you're really daring, ask for another copy of the exam. Say you lost the first one. Repeat this process every 15 min.

7. Come into the exam wearing slippers, a bathrobe, a towel on your head, and nothing else.

8. Come down with a BAD case of Tourette's Syndrome during the exam. Be as vulgar as possible.

9. Bring things to throw at the instructor when s/he's not looking. Blame it on the person nearest to you.

10. As soon as the instructor hands you the exam, eat it.

11. Every 5 min. stand up, collect all your things, move to another seat, continue with the exam.

12. Turn in the exam approx. 30 min. into it. As you walk out, start commenting on how easy it was.

13. Get the exam. 20 min into it, throw your papers down violently, scream out "Fuck this!" and walk out triumphantly. (if someone actually does this please tell me)

14. Arrange a protest before the exam starts (ie. Threaten the instructor that whether or not everyone's done, they are all leaving after one hour to go drink.)

15. Show up completely drunk (completely drunk means at some point during the exam, you should start crying for mommy).

16. Comment on how sexy the instructor is looking that day.

17. Come to the exam wearing a black cloak. After about 30 min, put on a white mask and start yelling "I'm here, the phantom of the opera" until they drag you away.

18. If the exam is math/sciences related, make up the longest proofs you could possible think of. Get pi and imaginary numbers into most equations. If it is a written exam, relate everything to your own life story.

19. Try to get people in the room to do a wave.

20. Bring some large, cumbersome, ugly idol. Put it right next to you. Pray to it often. Consider a small sacrifice.

21. During the exam, take apart everything around you. Desks, chairs, anything you can reach.

22. Puke into your exam booklet. Hand it in. Leave.

23. Take 6 packages of rice cakes to the exam. Stuff at least 2 rice cakes into your mouth at once. Chew, then cough. Repeat if necessary.

24. Masturbate.

25. Walk in, get the exam, sit down. About 5 min into it, loudly say to the instructor, "I don't understand ANY of this. I've been to every lecture all semester long! What's the deal? And who the hell are you? Where's the regular guy?"

26. Do the entire exam in another language. If you don't know one, make one up!

27. Bring a black marker. Return the exam with all questions and answers completely blacked out.

28. Every now and then, clap twice rapidly. If the instructor asks why, tell him/her in a very derogatory tone, "the light bulb that goes on above my head when I get an idea is hooked up to a clapper. DUH!"

29. From the moment the exam begins, hum the theme to Jeopardy. Ignore the instructor's requests for you to stop. When they finally get you to leave one way or another, begin whistling the theme to the Bridge on the River Kwai.

30. After you get the exam, call the instructor over, point to any question, ask for the answer. Try to work it out of him/her.

20 Things To Do When You Drive Through A Drive Thru!

1. Drive through the drive-thru in reverse and let your passenger order.

2. Ask the price of almost everything on the menu and then order something that you didn't ask the price for.

3. Tell the employee that your window is broken. Order and then pay with your door open. When the food comes, roll down the window and snatch your order from their hands.

4. Go to McDonald's and demand a big breakfast at 11:30 at night. Put up a fight. 5. Pay for a large order in pennies. 6. Drive in circles around the drive through, ordering just one item of your order each time you pass the window. For added fun, change clothes, hairstyles, glasses and fake beards with each pass.

7. When asked if they can take your order, tell them you are just window-shopping and drive on.

8. Leave a big 4 litre bottle of ketchup on your dashboard. When asked if you would like ketchup with your meal, laugh sadistically for a few seconds, then adopt a serious expression and gesture to the bottle on your dashboard.

9. Ask the cashier how they fit into that little box.

10. Drive up to the window. Then, without saying anything, produce a tape-measure. Measure all aspects of the window, make a note of the measurements in a notebook, then drive off.

11. Demand to speak to the manager. When they come out, complain that you did not like the way the employee said, "May I take your order?" 12. When asked if they can take your order say, "No." Then wind up your window and just sit there staring straight ahead.

13. If they ask you to wait, order anyway and keep doing it till they yell at you.

14. Order 10 large milkshakes. When they arrive, get out of your car, open the bonnet and pour 9 of the milkshakes into the oil filler. Place the remaining milkshake onto the pavement, and stare solemnly at it for three or four minutes with your head bowed. Then drive off. Circle the block for 1 minute, then drive back and do it again.

15. When asked to pay for your order produce a huge bucket of pennies. Attempt to hand the heap of change to the cashier, but 'accidentally' drop it all over the pavement. Spend 10-15 minutes picking it all up, then when you have collected it all, pay by credit card.

16. Attempt to barter for your food. Offer CDs, Cassettes or anything else you have in your car (including friends and family members).

17. Don't order when they come on. Just sit there. If a line forms behind you, get out of the car and cause a scene.

18. When they hand you your food, hand them a bag with all the trash from your car in it.

19. Just stare at them when you pay and get your food. Don't break your stare.

20. Honk your horn the whole way through the line.

31 Annoying things to do on an elevator

1) CRACK open your briefcase or handbag,
peer Inside and ask "Got enough air in

2) STAND silent and motionless in the
corner facing the wall without getting off.

3) WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt
and strain to yank the doors open, then
act as if you're embarrassed when they
open themselves.

4) GREET everyone with a warm handshake
and ask him or her to call you Admiral.

5) MEOW occasionally.

6) STARE At another passenger for a
while. Then announce in horror: "You're
one of THEM" - and back away slowly

7) SAY -DING at each floor.

8) SAY "I wonder what all these do?" And
push all the red buttons.

9) MAKE explosion noises when anyone
presses a button.

10) STARE, grinning at another passenger
for a while, then announce: "I have new
socks on."

11) WHEN the elevator is silent, look
around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"

12) TRY to make personal calls on the
emergency phone.

13) DRAW a little square on the floor
with chalk and announce to the other
passengers: "This is my personal space."

14) WHEN there's only one other person
in the elevator, tap them on the
shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.

15) PUSH the buttons and pretend they
give you a shock. Smile, and go back for

16) ASK if you can push the button for
other people but push the wrong ones.

17) HOLD the doors open and say you're
waiting for your friend. After a while,
let the doors close and say "Hi Greg,
How's your day been?"

18) DROP a pen and wail until someone
reaches to help pick it up, then scream:
"That's mine!"

19) BRING a camera and take pictures of
everyone in the lift.

20) PRETEND you're a flight attendant
and review emergency procedures and
exits with the Passengers.

21) SWAT at flies that don't exist.

22) CALL out "Group hug" then enforce it.

23) Listen to the elevator walls with your stethoscope.

24) Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to the other passengers

25) Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering, "Shut up, all of you, just shut up!"

26) Tell people that you can see their aura

27) When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay, don't panic, they open again!"

28) Stand really close to someone, sniffing them occasionally

29) Move your desk into the elevator and whenever anyone gets on, ask if they have an apointment

30) Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the elevator. Then ask for autographs.

31) Call the Psychic Hotline from your cell phone and ask if they know what floor your on

1. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

2. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

3. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, "Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.

4. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

5. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

6. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

7. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

8. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror.

9. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are.

10. Dart around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

11. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look"

12. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

13. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream, "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!"

14. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"

15.Grab a lot of bouncy balls and throw them down the aisle, shouting "Go, Pikachu, Go"

Things I am not to do at Hogwarts

1) The Giant Squid is not an appropriate date to the Yule Ball

2) I am not allowed to sing, "We're Off to See the Wizard" while skipping off to the Headmaster's office

3) I am not allowed to take out a life insurance policy on Harry Potter

4) I am not allowed to ask Dumbledore to show you the pointy hat trick

5) I am not allowed to give Remus Lupin a flea collar

6) I am not allowed to bring a Magic 8 Ball to Divination

7) I am not allowed to say that Seamus Finnegan is "after my lucky charms"

8) I am not allowed to start a betting pool on this years Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. It's taste-less, tacky, and not a good money-making strategy.

9) I am not allowed to joke about Remus' "time of the month"

10) I am not allowed to make light saber sounds with my wand

11) I am not allowed to give Hagrid Pokemon cards and convince him they're real animals

12) I am not to refer to the Accio charm as "The Force"

14) I will not use my socks to make hand-puppets of the Slytherin-House mascot

15) If the thought of a spell makes me giggle for more than 15 seconds, assume that I am not allowed to use it

16) I will not lock the Slytherin's and Gryffindor's in a room together and bet on which House will come out alive

17) I will not charm the suits of armor to do a rendition of "The Knights of the Round Table" for the Christmas Feast

18) I am not allowed to declare an official "Hug A Slytherin Day"

19) I am not allowed to sing my own personal spy music while wandering the hallways

20) It is not necessary to yell, "BURN!" Whenever Snape takes points away from Gryffindor

21) I will not say the phrase, "Get a Life" to Voldemort

22) First years are not to be fed to Fluffy

23) I will never ask Harry if his Voldie senses are tingling

26) It is not necessary to yell, "BAM" every time I Apparate

27) I will not steal the Gryffindor sword from Dumbledore's office and use it to patrol the hallways

28) I will not poke Hufflepuff's with spoons, nor shall I insist that their color's indicate that they're "covered in bees"

29) "I've heard every joke possible about Oliver Wood's name" is not a challenge

32) If a class-mate falls asleep, I will not take advantage of that and draw a Dark Mark on their arm

33) House Elves are not acceptable replacements for Bludgers

34) I will not start every potion's class by asking Snape if the potion is acceptable as Body Lotion

35) I will not call the Weasley twins, "bookends"

36) I will not call the Patil twins, "bookends"

37) I will not call the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher Kenny, even if he is wearing an orange anorak

45) I will not dress up as Voldemort on Halloween

46) It is a bad idea to tell Snape he takes himself to seriously

47) I will not tell Sir Cadogan that The Knight's Who Say Ni have challenged him to a duel, then have all the students say, 'Ni' from various directions

48) I am not the King of the Potato People and I do not have a flying carpet

49) "To conquer the Earth with an army of flying monkeys" is not a career choice

50) I will not attack my fellow classmates

51) I will not make an impossible riddle for people to give an answer to enter the Ravenclaw area

52) I will not run up to Snape and hand him a bottle of shampoo and run away saying "use it"

53) I will not run away screaming from Snape saying hes going to suck my blood

54) I will not run screaming "Voldie is coming!"

55) I will not do a Halloween theme song when Snape sweeps into a room

56) I will not ask Snape if he was going to the Halloween ball as a bat

57) I will not ask Snape if he sparkles in the sunlight

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Beautiful Disaster by ashleyfanfic reviews
Veela!Draco! discovers that his mate is the least likely person on the planet, and the discovery leads him and his father in new directions... I started this fic way back in 2004 - so a lot of what happened later in the books, I hadn't read yet...
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 35 - Words: 154,487 - Reviews: 169 - Favs: 499 - Follows: 562 - Updated: 9/22/2017 - Published: 3/28/2012 - Draco M., Hermione G.
A New Beginning or Not by Izzy-I.R.T reviews
The sight that greeted him when he was able to see the full view of the assembly almost made his jaw drop. Blunt and Jones were at his school. K-Unit.
Alex Rider - Rated: K+ - English - Friendship/Adventure - Chapters: 12 - Words: 20,842 - Reviews: 304 - Favs: 361 - Follows: 557 - Updated: 9/11/2012 - Published: 7/19/2009 - Alex R./Cub
Because That Was Expected by Fate's Silver Chain reviews
We all know Alex Rider has a good chance of getting himself in trouble. But when something happens, that kickstarts off a series of events, the teenager can't help but wonder why he can't get a break. K-Unit & Brecon Beacons. Set after Crocodile Tears. (2)
Alex Rider - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 31 - Words: 59,716 - Reviews: 431 - Favs: 389 - Follows: 287 - Updated: 8/14/2012 - Published: 1/24/2012 - Alex R./Cub, Wolf - Complete
Stuck in hell with the damn devils by Complicated-little-Jellie reviews
Isolated and ignored at none other than Brecon Beacons, Alex has to show K-Unit whether or not he can shoot. Trouble is ensured, and the pain that follows suite. But what will Wolf do?
Alex Rider - Rated: T - English - Angst/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 15 - Words: 17,555 - Reviews: 152 - Favs: 238 - Follows: 187 - Updated: 4/24/2012 - Published: 9/8/2011 - Alex R./Cub, Wolf - Complete
Times Are A'Changin' by Ingrid Micaha Piper reviews
Whoever said life was fair, was clearly not talking about Alex's. After his school is attacked, he ends up spending some quality time at his favourite SAS camp. Unfortunately, life gets in the way once again, and now everyone around him is in danger.
Alex Rider - Rated: K - English - Adventure - Chapters: 14 - Words: 61,771 - Reviews: 671 - Favs: 736 - Follows: 936 - Updated: 4/6/2012 - Published: 3/21/2009 - Alex R./Cub
Things Change by authorwannabe101 reviews
After Scorpia Rising- Alex Rider never left for the states with Sabina and her family. What happens when Mrs. Jones sends a folder to the media? Alex is sent to the SAS with a K-Unit and Fox? Sequel is up!
Alex Rider - Rated: T - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 12 - Words: 6,655 - Reviews: 71 - Favs: 132 - Follows: 110 - Updated: 3/21/2012 - Published: 11/17/2011 - Alex R./Cub, Ben D./Fox - Complete
The Alex Rider? by Jesse Wales reviews
An extreme figment of my over-active imagination. Alex's at the Talent Show and his peers find out more about him then he'll like them to know. And what does Alan mean by the school going to Brecon Beacons? He's in charge? What? A Musical and may be OOC.
Alex Rider - Rated: K - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 5 - Words: 14,924 - Reviews: 86 - Favs: 74 - Follows: 97 - Updated: 1/23/2012 - Published: 12/3/2011 - Alex R./Cub
The Better Solution by Mother of Tears reviews
According to the new Ministry Marriage Law, Hermione has to marry a pueblood wizard right away. That would mean leaving school. Suicide seems the only way out...until she is offered a better solution.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 29 - Words: 157,109 - Reviews: 1223 - Favs: 1,148 - Follows: 1,407 - Updated: 8/15/2011 - Published: 5/6/2005 - Severus S., Hermione G.
Caught In The Crossfire by Karai III reviews
K-unit inadvertently cause Alex serious injury while he is on an undercover mission. Because of a twist in events they mistake him for the enemy and in an ensuing battle Alex ends up in the hospital. Check out my profile for a full summary.
Alex Rider - Rated: T - English - Angst - Chapters: 6 - Words: 16,702 - Reviews: 209 - Favs: 321 - Follows: 491 - Updated: 3/2/2011 - Published: 5/25/2009 - Alex R./Cub, Snake
Decisions to Make by cecilia ann reviews
No one ever accused Alex Rider of having it easy. Jack dieing messes Alex up in a way that no one could have imagined. So when he is sent back to camp to live until he either turns 18 or finally agrees to work for MI6 you can't blame him for what happens.
Alex Rider - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Friendship - Chapters: 9 - Words: 18,198 - Reviews: 162 - Favs: 261 - Follows: 382 - Updated: 1/2/2011 - Published: 6/28/2009
Temporary by Timonx3 reviews
Alex had been so careful, separating the parts of his life. But when Jack goes abroad, taking a vacation, all the parts come crashing together...
Alex Rider - Rated: T - English - Friendship - Chapters: 25 - Words: 56,798 - Reviews: 422 - Favs: 371 - Follows: 469 - Updated: 1/1/2011 - Published: 3/7/2009
Secrets by Ambrele reviews
All Alex ever wanted to be was normal..... well thats down the drain now!
Alex Rider - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Angst - Chapters: 15 - Words: 22,736 - Reviews: 168 - Favs: 70 - Follows: 96 - Updated: 12/14/2010 - Published: 10/30/2008
Perfectly Normal by ObsessivelyOdd reviews
Alex is alone. Scorpia want him dead. These are the facts. But Alex knows only too well that in the world of lies and espionage, even basic truths can change.
Alex Rider - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 26 - Words: 48,198 - Reviews: 977 - Favs: 951 - Follows: 429 - Updated: 12/11/2009 - Published: 5/29/2009 - Complete
Punishment by St. Danger reviews
The K-Unit is in trouble during a retraining session at Brecon Beacons. As punishment, they are locked in an empty house with Cub. And what was that about handcuffs? Oh no... Oneshot. Written for Spyfest 2009.
Alex Rider - Rated: T - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,715 - Reviews: 41 - Favs: 244 - Follows: 77 - Published: 12/1/2009 - Alex R./Cub - Complete
Jaded Little Brat by Crowlows19 reviews
Major AU. What would happen if the sarcastic, jaded, rebellious side of Alex was the dominate part? How would that change what happened at Brecon Beacons? One-Shot.
Alex Rider - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,306 - Reviews: 89 - Favs: 497 - Follows: 100 - Published: 10/16/2009 - Alex R./Cub - Complete
Everlasting Changes by Xx Kiamii xX reviews
When would a teenage spy ever catch a break? Not when a new drug was invented to turn his life upside down and involving K-Unit once again. Will Alex Rider ever have a normal life? Or will it always involve changes for better, or for worse?
Alex Rider - Rated: K+ - English - Family/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 14 - Words: 44,058 - Reviews: 192 - Favs: 354 - Follows: 137 - Updated: 6/23/2009 - Published: 6/9/2009 - Complete
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Not A Freak reviews
Harry gets caught sneaking some food into his cupboard, and gets locked up in the yard like a animal. Guardian Fic. Has been on Hiatus now rewriting. Warning: severe child abuse
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Family - Chapters: 5 - Words: 3,044 - Reviews: 42 - Favs: 60 - Follows: 122 - Updated: 8/24/2012 - Published: 6/28/2012 - Harry P., Severus S.
If I Die Young reviews
Song fic. Warning, character death.
Alex Rider - Rated: K - English - Drama/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 534 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 5 - Published: 6/6/2012 - Alex R./Cub, Wolf - Complete