Author has written 5 stories for Fullmetal Alchemist, Wolf's Rain, No. 6, Ouran High School Host Club, and Angel Beats!/エンジェルビーツ.
I am new to fanfic but I hope to send out some awesome fics!
gender: female (no duh my pen name is anime girl ((except I spell it kinda lamely because I came up with my username in 7th grade and I thought it was cool at the time and now I don't want to bother changing it because I use this username for everything)))
likes: anime, manga, pocky, japan in general, wolves, pandas (especially xaomei, yay for alcoholic pandas!) racoons, sugary things, shadow tag, doing things to proove that I'm tougher than anyone else in the room, black, indigo, thunderstorms, cold weather, puzzles, ravens
Dislikes: coke/coca-cola/pepsi, tall people who pat me on the head and stuff cuz im short (but I will admit it openly, I am short), cold pizza, make-up, pink, girly things, dresses, skirts, high-heels (they're like self-torture), girly-girls, hot weather, the word girly
Anime/Manga that I know a enough about to read a fanfic of (If you want constructive criticizm feel free to give me a PM because I always comment on any story I read): Fullmetal Alchemist (2003 & Brotherhood), Ouran High School Host Club, Naruto, Deathnote, Angel Beats!, InuYasha, Wolf's Rain, Soul Eater, Gosick, Elfin Lied, Bleach, One Piece, Shugo Chaara, K-on, Azumanga Daioh, Baccano, Gurren Lagan, Hetalia, Durarara, Psycho-Pass, Code:Breaker, Fate/Zero, Lucky Star, Gravitation, Code Geass. Oh god there's lots more but I can't remember all of them right now.
Thoughts on Yaoi and pairings in general
I basically only support pairings that are, in my mind, realistic. I don't mind, and in some cases support, yaoi pairings if they are either cannon or if I think that they would work given the character's personalities. The same goes for basially any type of pairing: either it's cannon and/or reasonable in my mind, or I frown upon it.
Okay, so I have a lot of story ideas in my head, and not enough time to write them all, so if you want to write a story, but don't have any ideas, or if you really like one of the following ideas please feel free to use the idea. Basically these ideas are like unborn babies that I'm putting up for adoption. If you take one please PM me and tell me what idea it is so that I can take it off this list and start following your story. If you want you don't even have to take the whole idea. So here the ideas, and more are still to come.
A crossover between Soul Eater and Captain America where the Captain becomes a teacher at DWMA, and his shield becomes like the other weapons.
A Maximum Ride and Angel Beats! crossover. Fang is killed, and as a result Max to commits suicide, only she wakes up in the afterlife school. Originally I wanted to make it a romance between Noda and Max, because I figure Noda would be able to make her laugh again, and I wanted Yuri to insist that Max was an angel.
An Angel Beats crossover of some kind that has a good plot, but DOES NOT take place in Heavens Academy.
A Soul Eater & Tomb Raider crossover. Laura finds a strange artifact and when she touches it she becomes unconcious, she wakes up in a desert with a laughing sun overhead. Two strange people (her guns, unbeknownst to her) confront her and she freaks out because her pistols are "missing". Could be a oneshot.
A Durarara & Soul Eater crossover. Random OC is an outcast because he/she is a weapon who cannot find a meister strong enough to wield him/her (he/she turns into something like a ten foot long metal club with lots of spikes or something). While this OC is in Japan (for whatever reason) he/she runs into Shizuo Heiwajima and convinces him to be his/her meister.
Also, if you have already written a story that is similar to one of these ideas or if you have found one please tell me.
Stories I plan to write...eventually...maybe...
In Japan: Sequel to In Amestris. Ed and Al end up in Japan with the Host Club. Saying anything else would be spoilering my planned ending to In Amestris.
Paradise. Are We There Yet?: A continuation of Wolf's Rain. Takes place in modern times. None of the ex-wolves have any memory of their life as a wolf (in other words they will not be wolves ever in this fic, unless I change my mind), and Kiba only has a small instinct to guide him to his allies from the past. Will they become friends again?
After Afterlife: A continuation of Angel Beats!. All they have to guide them together is Yuri's dreams and some memory fragments. Will they be able to re-unite?
The What-Are-We-Now? Battlefront: One-shot. Yuri wants a good name for the battlefront, so she starts a competition to come up with the best name, and the winner gets to skip out on 5 deadly missions of their choice. The game is on.
The Roundabout Path: Based on the song "The Wolf that Fell in Love with Little Red Riding Hood". I hope to take it farther than where the song ends, though.
On the Shores of Lake Hope: Dangan Ronpa in medival times and minus the killing. I don't know why, it just sounds like it would be fun to write. There will be Mondo/Chihiro, Fukawa/Togami, Naegi/Kirigiri, and probably more. There will likely be no Leon/Sayaka because I really dislike that pairing.
The Allied Trail: Basically Hetalia on the Oregon Trail, not everyone will survive.
Human Parts: Happens after the end of Kill la Kill. Ryuko still misses Senketsu, so when a transfer student with that name appears, things get more than a little hectic. Ryuko/Senketsu probably, and strong hints of Ira/Mako.
I'm also thinking of doing lots of NezuShi stuff. Like a reunion fic, an AU Academy fic, One where Nezumi's a vampire, one where Shion is a slave/pet to Nezumi...etc, plus lots of oneshots
When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ballpoint pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat the problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 million to develop a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to 300C.
The Russians used a pencil.
repost this if you found this funny and then add your name to the list. DontTouchMyTea, AliceTop,XanimegrrlX
Death is life's way of telling you you're fired.
There are very few problems that cant be solved by using a large amount of explosives.
What is this kindness you speak of?
Somehow, in some way that was all your fault.
Retreating! Hell no, we're just attacking the other direction!
Organized people are just too lazy to look for things.
You see chaos and disorder, I see a unique filing system!
An optimist is someone who falls off the empire state building and after 50 floors says, "So far so good!"
I've learned from my mistakes, and I'm sure I could repeat them exactly.
Do not disturb, I'm disturbed already.
Keep smiling; it makes people wonder what you're up to.
Love your enemies. It gets them really confused.
The person who smiles when things go wrong has found someone to blame it on.
Never argue with an idiot. They'll just drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.
Normal people scare me...but not as much as I scare them.
Curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back.
Even if the voices aren't real, they have some good ideas.
An idiot is a 44th floor window washer who steps back to admire his work.
You know, you do this annoying thing where you open your mouth and then these things you call words come out. Yeah like that. Stop it.
The newscaster is the person who says "Good evening" and then tells you why it's not.
If you don't like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk.
Sarcasm is one more service we offer.
Some people are like slinkies. They seem to have no purpose, but they still bring you a smile when you push them down the stairs.
You can only be young once. But you can always be immature.
"Daddy, did your hair slip?" -- 3 year old son, to his bald but long bearded father
"How do you put make up on your mind?" -- Girl, when told she should make up her mind.
Soccer is a game in which a handful of fit men run around for one and a half hours watched by millions of people who could really use the exercise.
Some family trees bear an enormous crop of nuts.
Adults are always asking little kids what they want to be when they grow up because they're looking for ideas.
I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.
For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.
Join The Army, visit exotic places, meet strange people, then kill them.
I like work. It fascinates me. I sit and look at it for hours.
It's a beautiful day. Now watch some idiot screw it up.
It takes skill to trip over flat surfaces!
Did you know 'gullible' isn't a word?
Person 1: "Can you hear me?"
"No! No, no, no--and just in case you missed it the first time--NO."
8/5 of all people do not understand fractions.
If at first you do succeed, try to hide your astonishment.
I didn't used to finish sentences, but now I
"Which one is closer: Florida or the moon?"
Flirty Guy: "Hey baby, can I have your didgits?"
"Once you put bacon into a salad, it is no longer a salad, but a game of 'find the bacon amongst these annoying green things'."
Everyone wants to go to heaven, but no one wants to die.
I'm not a complete idiot, some pieces are missing.
Stop being so stupid...it's my turn.
There's a light at the end of every tunnel...let’s just hope it's not a train.
Real girls aren't perfect, perfect girls aren't real. You want a perfect girl? Go buy a Barbie.
When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep - not screaming, like the passengers in his car.
I smile because I have no idea what's going on!
One day, your prince will come. Mine? Oh, he just took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions.
One day, we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject.
Don't knock on death's door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that.
Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.
Of course I'm out of my mind! It's dark and scary in there!
When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
If you can't convince them, confuse them.
An apple a day keeps the doctor away if well aimed.
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving isn't for you.
What happens if you get scared half to death... twice?
Never do anything that you wouldn't want to explain to the paramedics.
The dinosaur’s extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide.
I had amnesia once--or twice. You know what? I don't really even remember.
Life isn't trying to pass me by, it's trying to run me over
When it rains on my parade, I bust out the slip 'n slide
They say 'guns don't kill people, people kill people.' well, I think that the gun helps. You wouldn't kill too many people standing there yelling 'BANG!'
Flying is simple: just throw yourself at the ground and miss
When someone is getting on your nerves, it takes 42 muscles to frown, 17 to smile, but only 4 muscles are needed to extend your arm and beat the crap out of them
I have the answer in my head, I just haven't found it yet
Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film
The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese
Behind every damsel is a fire breathing dragon
I'm a nobody, nobody's perfect, therefore I'm perfect
Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity got framed
Some of the most wonderful, dazzling successes are going to happen to some of the most awful, undeserving people you know - people who are, in other words, not you
With great power, comes great need to take a nap.- Nico DiAngelo, The Last Olympian
Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way you're a mile away from them and you have their shoes.
Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.
You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall up the stairs, I laugh even harder.
The road to success is always under construction.
Ideas don't stay in some minds very long because they don't like solitary confinement
Why is it called 'after dark' when it really is 'after light'?
Save the earth. It's the only planet with chocolate.
I'm not so good with the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?
I live in my own little world- but it's ok, they know me there.
I was gifted, but the psychiatrist took away my super powers.
Normal is just a setting on washing machines.
"Sometimes you see things in this world that defy belief. When that happens you have only two choices, you either believe what you see with your own two eyes, or you give up drinking." -Quent Yaiden (Wolf's Rain)
"I'm not crazy; I'm just going sane in an insane world."
Haikus are easy
"I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it."
"Who ever said anything was possible never tried nailing jello to a tree."
"Who ever said anything was possible never tried slamming a revolving door."
Always forgive your enemies - it confuses them.
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded.
Where there's a will, there are five hundred relatives.
If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking, and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? (XP)
Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.
A tree never hits an automobile except in self-defence.
Did you know that dolphins are so intelligent that within only a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand at the very edge of the pool and throw them fish?
How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on.
If the left side of your brain controls the right side of your body, then only left handed people are in their right mind.
Man is a peculiar creature. He spends a fortune making his home insect-proof and air-conditioned, and then eats in the yard.
The only 15 letter word that can be spelled without repeating a letter is 'uncopyrightable'!
"Earth is the insane Asylum of the Universe, which is why I was born here...makes sense" -Unknown
"Good friends help you up when you fall down. Best friends laugh and trip you again."
No tresspasing, violaters will be shot and survivors will be shot again.
I am worse than evil! I am the authoress!
I AM NOT CRAZY! My reality is just different than yours...
"Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, "This is going to take more than one night"
"Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change."
I'm actually quite pleasant until I'm awake.
Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there are 5 people in my family, so it must be one of them. It's either my mom, my dad, or my older brother Collin...or my younger brother Ho-Chan-Chu. But I think it's Collin.
Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the universe together.
Sarcasm helps keep you from telling people what you really think of them.
They keep saying the right person will come along; I think mine got hit by a truck.
Honesty is the best policy, but insanity is a better defense.
I haven't lost my mind -- it's backed up on tape somewhere.
I'm prepared for all emergencies. But I'm totally unprepared for everyday life.
Sleep: A completely inadequate substitute for caffeine/sugar.
Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia- Fear of long words
If you always stop to smell the roses sooner or later you'll inhale a bee.
My imaginary friend thinks you have mental problems.
I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me; he said I was being ridiculous. Everyone hasn't met me yet.
I used up all of my sick days...so I'm calling in dead.
"...Fly, then ram into the celing like I did," Hinata (Angel Beats!)
The outcome of a pointless quarrel can matter a lot...untill your dad asks you, "Does it really matter?"
"Every day there will be idiots...and more idiots...and more idiots surrounding me...WHY ARE THERE ONLY IDIOTS, ARE THERE NO ONE ELSE OTHER THAN IDIOTS!!!??" Yuri (Angel Beats! the 4-koma)
"I'll get a goal even if it kills you!!!" Yui (Angel Beats)
"Why? Why do humans always look to the sky? Why do you try so hard to fly when you don't have any wings? We'll run on our own legs." Kiba (Wolf's Rain)
"There is no chance, no ate, no destiny, that can circumvent hinder or control the firm resolve of a determined soul." Ella Wheeler Wilcox (Poet)
"We say we love flowers, yet we pluck them. We say we love trees, yet we cut them down. And people still wonder why some are afraid when told they are loved." - Unknown
"To the world you may be one person, but to one person, you may be the world."
"We are angels born with only one wing. To truly fly, we must embrace each other."
Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain
Nobody's worth your tears, and the ones that are won't make you cry
Life is not measured in the breaths we take but in the moments that take our breath away
Don't talk unless you can improve the silence
"I'm selfish, impatient, and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control, and at times hard to handle. But if you can't accept me at my worst then you sure as heck don't deserve me at my best." -M. Monroe
"Everyone's gonna die, it's a natural part of life, but if your life has no purpose you're dead already" Kiba (Wolf's Rain)
"Answers always lie in confusion." Ghost of the Owl (Wolf's Rain)
I guess I'm not a very serious person...
Bad Things to Hear on an Airplane Intercom
1. This is your captain speaking and I don't feel that life is worth living anymore
2. We're cruising at an altitude of... Ah hell I don't know
3. Could somebody come up here and tell me what this button does?
4. AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! Just kidding.
5. Would the filght attendant bring me a martini? And keep 'em comin'
6. This is... uh... This is... uh... your... Hmm, I seem to have lost my memory...
7. Passengers on the left side of the plane -- does that engine sound funny to you?
8. Good God Steve! We’re going to crash! Oops -- is this intercom on?
9. We'll be on the ground in ten minutes. One way or another...
10. This is your captain speaking: I'm depressed, suicidal, and I'm taking you all with me. By the way, I've already killed the co-captain.
11. Dammit, Steve! You're the father of my baby! You know what? I'm-- AAAAHHH!! OH GOD, I'M HAVING THE BABY!! DAMN YOU, STEVE!! IF I'M GONNA HAVE THIS BABY NOW, YOU'RE GONNA FEEL THIS PAIN WITH ME!! Oh shit... is the intercom actually on?
12. This is your captain spreaking: we're about to land, but... uh... does anybody know how? I was kinda weak on that in piloting school...
THINGS YOU NEVER WANT TO HEAR WHILE UNDERGOING SURGERY
1. "Better save that, we'll need it for autopsy."
2. "Someone call the janitor -- We're going to need a mop."
3. "Accept this sacrafice, O Great Lord of Darkness!"
4. "Bo! Bo! Come back with that! Bad dog!"
5. "Wait a minute, if this is his spleen... what's that?"
6. "Hand me that... uh.. that uh... that thingy."
7. "Oh no! I lost my Rolex glove."
8. " Has anyone ever survived 500ml of this stuff before?"
9. "Crap, there go the lights again..."
10. "Ya know, there's big money in kidneys, heck, this guy's got two of 'em!"
11. "What do you mean you want a divorce?"
13. "Oh, thats what I was supposed to do"
14."...Can we just leave him some were?"
"Like the lake or something?"
16 "Thats going to hurt like a bitch"
I am the girl
that doesn't go to school dances, or games, and when I do go, I sit in a corner and read a book. I am the girl that people look through when I say something. I am the girl that spends most of her free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal. I am the girl that people call weird and a freak either behind my back or to my face. I am the girl that doesn't spend all her time on MySpace, or talking to a girlfriend on a cell phone or regular phone. I am the girl that hasn't been asked out. I am the girl that has stopped to smell the flowers and jump and splash in the rain. BUT I am also the girl who knows and is proud to be who she is, doesn’t care if people call her weird (it's a compliment), who loves reading and writing and doing the things that no one seems to have the time to do any more, who can express herself better with words than actions, who doesn't need a guy to complete her and knows the importance of the little things.
COPY AND PASTES
98% of young girls would cry if they saw Edward Cullen in flames. If you're part of the 2% that would be holding marshmallows on a stick, copy this
95 of teenagers would panic if the Jonas brothers were about to jump off a 100 foot building. Copy and paste this if you were the other 5 that would bring popcorn and invite friends.
97% of teens and middle-aged women would cry if they saw Edward Cullen from Twilight standing on top of a skyscraper about to jump. If you are one of the 3% who would sit there eating popcorn, screaming, "DO A FLIP, YOU SPARKLY BITCH!", then please copy and paste this in your profile.
92 percent of teenagers would die if Abercrombie and Fitch told them it wasn't cool to breathe. Put this in your profile if you would be part of the 8 percent laughing your ass off.
The greatest feats are accomplished by people who are too stupid to know that they're impossible.
Ninety-five percents of teenagers are concerned about being popular. If your one of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile.
98 percent of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy and paste this into your profile.
98 of teenagers do drugs, have sex, and drink alcohol...put this into your profile if you like chocolate chip cookies
93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile and add your name to the list: Sunlit Goddess of C.O.C.A., Moonlit Goddess of C.O.C.A., Evil Genius of COCA, Invader Miley Phantom, dAnnYsGiRl777, BloodySalvation, Lady Lost-A-Lot, bellabookworm9, Bella Masen Cullen, Vampire Scooby, Deidara's Manialoll 4 Ever, DrownMySoul, MnMsRoK, Violet-Truth, Alice Top, XanimegrrlX
If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you love rain, copy and paste this into your profile
If you have ever said something that had nothing to do with your current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile.
If, with no warning, you have laughed during a movie part that wasn't funny, put this in your profile
If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile.
Copy this into your profile if you like to do random things when you're bored, like right now
If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, copy this into your profile
Weird is good. Strange is bad. Odd is what you call someone who you can't decide what to call them. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, which means weird is good! If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile!
There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile.
If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile.
If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile.
If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile.
If you think that the kids should stop chasing Lucky and leave the leprechaun alone, then copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have siblings that drive you crazy then copy this onto your profile.
If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile
I'm an animé watcher/a manga reader, and I'm proud of it. If you are, copy and paste this line into your profile.
If you like chocolate as much as I do copy this in your profile (but it is impossibleto love chocolate more than me, so don't copy this in your profile)
Do not do drugs. I do sugar. If you're someone who does sugar, copy this into your profile.
I'm the kind of person who walks into a door or wall, and then apologizes to it
If you are one of the few people that know how to properly use the semicolon and the colon, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you think these 'copy and paste this into your profile' things are addictive, copy and paste this into your profile
If you've ever gotten annoyed with all of these 'copy and paste this into your profile' sayings, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you realize that copying and pasting things into your profile is pointless, yet you do it anyways, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you've ever started one of these 'copy and paste this into your profile' things, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you are aware that so many people nowadays pretend to be someone they're not, copy this on your profile.
If you have ever changed your password on something and forgotten it, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever crashed into a wall (or anything else) while you were sugar-high, copy onto profile.
If you've ever wished you could go into a book and strangle some of the characters for being so incredibly dumb, copy and paste this into your profile.
If at one time you misspelled or forgot how to spell a word less than four letters, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you know someone who should be run over by a bus, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you get good grades and still know nothing at all, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you have ever felt the undeniable urge to slam your head into something, whether it is another person or not copy this into your profile.
If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this into your profile.
If you have ever wanted to slap someone, but restrained yourself, congratulations, and copy and paste this to your profile.
If you take great pride in being strange, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you can think of a song in relation to almost anything, copy and paste this onto your profile.
if you draw transmutation circles on the margins of your paper copy this to your profile
if you think that k is kooler than c put this on your profile
if you have drawn a transmutation circle in the sand just to proove that cornello is even more of a lying sixth-rate fool put this onto your profile
If you talk back to the TV, copy this into your profile.
If you love walking around in the pouring rain without an umbrella, copy this to your profile.
If your friends think you’re crazy for reading a book about six flying kids (and their talking dog), and you don’t care, copy and paste this is your profile.
Copy and paste this if you're on team Edward... ELRIC! The sparkly fairy is a complete disgrace to the sexy Fullmetal Alchemist!
-95 percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the 5 percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Yavie Aelinel, Crazy Billie Joe Loving Freak, Shadow929, The Astrology Nerd, brown-eyed angelofmusic, piratesswriter/fairy to be, The Gypsy-Pirate Queen, xGabriellaxBoltonx, xEarlySunsetsOverMonroevillex, Smartest Girl In The World, 'rEd RoSe-StArFiRe-RoSeFiRe', Zwergschnauzer, dablackfox101, mushroomcloudslooklikebroccoli, IwuvMyKenshyPoo, Heidiplease, iNsOmNiAc BiLlIe JoE lOvEr, Black Panther Warrior, kailover 2006, Iluvbeyblade, Wolf Pyralis, Rabid Rabbit's Rampage, BloodySalvation, Sonicalia, metal.lamp-silvertongue, Kaity Chameleon, WeaselChick, The All Real Numbers Symbol, Leader S, LightDarkandChaos, NevermoreRaven, Anna Marcelli Palmer, BlazingAmber, Upsilon Four, Truth's aprentice, XanimegrrlX
If you've ever randomly fallen out of your chair, copy this into your profile.
If you have ever tripped when there was a "watch your step" sign copy and paste this into your profile.
TWINKLE TWINKLE LITTLE STAR IS SANG TO THE SAME TUNE AS THE ALPHABET...copy this onto your profile if you just sang it in your head to see if it’s true.
If you actually take the time to read copy and pastes, copy this onto your profile
If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile.
If Orlando Bloom said to stop breathing, 99 percent of girls currently on the face of the Earth would be dead right now. Put this on your profile if you'd be the 1 percent still alive and laughing.
If you have ever burned any sort of food in the microwave, oven, toaster, or on the stove, copy this into your profile.
If you've ever yelled at an inanimate object for not listening to you, copy and paste this into your profile
Most people would be offended if someone asked them what was wrong with their mind. copy this into your pro if you would be one of the few people that would answer, "where to begin?"
If you are in lala land most of the time copy this into your profile.
If several inanimate objects hate you copy and paste this into your
If you've ever tried to lick your elbow and knew that it was physically impossible, copy this to your profile.
If you have ever thought of something funny, started laughing, and fell & hit your head on something hard, and ended up laughing harder than you were before, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you laugh when you hurt yourself, copy and paste this into your profile
Chocolate chip cookies are yummy! If you agree, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you've ever done anything incredibly stupid for no apparent reason, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you've ever had a conversation with yourself, copy this to your profile.
Only crazy people can understand the brilliance of crazy things. If you are crazy and proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile!
If you are against fur coats, clothing, boots, etc, and the people who kill the animals don't use the meat, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever tripped on a person, copy this into your profile.
If you have ever shouted out the first thing that comes to mind, copy and paste this to your profile.
If you have ever shouted out a random thing and then gotten glared at copy and paste this to your profile.
98 percent of teenagers drink or have been around alcohol, put this in your profile if you like MUFFINS!
If you are so cool that you actually read through all of these (there's more BWHAHAHAHA!!), copy this into your profile!!
If you've ever yelled at an inanimate object for not listening to you, copy and paste this into your profile.
If that inanimate object now hates you more because you yelled at it, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you don't have a myspace and you don't want a myspace, copy this into your profile.
If you lack common sense, copy and paste this onto you're profile
People who say anything's possible haven't tried to: slam a revolving door, staple water to a tree, create a stable magnetic field inside a moving SUV with only a standard toolbox, or teach a rock how to fly. Copy and paste this into your profile if you have tried any of these, and add your own crazy thing to the list.
If you think you have too many of these "copy and paste this into your profile" thingies, but have no intention of stopping now, copy and paste this into your profile.
If someone has ever called you weird, copy and paste this to your profile.
98 percent of the Internet population has a Myspace. If you are part of the 2 percent that can resist stupid fads, copy this into your profile.
Pluto was no longer declared a planet on August 27, 2006 just because it was 'too small' and 'off its orbit' for a couple scientists likings. If you still think Pluto should be a planet then copy and paste this to your profile. LONG LIVE PLUTO! (Under those rules, what is Earth?)
If you find yourself making fanfictions of other fanfictions in your head, post this in your profile.
If you have ever wanted to slap someone, copy this into your profile.
If you are a chocoholic copy this into your profile
If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fan fictions, copy this into your profile.
If you have music in your soul, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you are a girl and you don't wear make-up, paste this in your profile because you rock.
If you are guilty of doing a British, Irish, Australian, Southern accent or Elvis impression, copy this in your profile.
If you have a tendency to talk to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you don't care what other people think about you or your clothes, about how much money you have, or about how pretty you are, paste this in your profile.
If you've ever wondered what you're like in a parallel universe, put this on your profile.
A large percentage of writers don't know the difference between "your" and "you're". Or "it's" and "its". Or "there", "their" and "they're". If your one of the one’s that do know the differences and want to deck those who don't, put this in you’re profile.
If you get a kick out of explosions, put this in your profile
If you have ever gotten a song stuck in your head that you only know a few words to, and then gotten so fed up that you looked the lyrics up online just so that you could have something else stuck in your head, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you really have no idea how this copy and pasting stuff started, but enjoy it anyway, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever cried when your favorite character in a movie, T.V show, or book died, copy and paste this into your profile. (T_T L from Deatnote)
If you hear the voices of characters in your head, put this onto your profile.
If you get way too excited for books, movies, ect. to come out, copy this into your profile
Most people would be offended if someone asked them what was wrong with their mind. Copy this into your profile if you would be one of the few people that would answer, "Where to begin?"
Nerds are cool. Nerds are smart. Nerds will one day rule the universe. If you're a nerd and proud of it, copy this into your profile.
If you easily finish one novel (or more) a day, copy this onto your profile.
If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile.
If you are proud to have a profile that is so long that nobody ever reads all of it copy this onto your profile
If you don't even remember half of the stuff on your profile copy and paste this onto your profile.
When you're home alone and somebody knocks on your door 10% of people say "Who is it?", 64% look through the peephole, 25% open the door, and 1% crawl on the ground like a ninja and look through the window very quietly to make sure it isn't a masked murderer. If you are part of the 1% copy and paste this to your profile!
If you have ever tried to contact the grim reaper by writing 42 42 564 on a mirror copy and paste this to your profile
If you start to cry whenever you see puppies because they remind you of Toboe copy and paste this to your profile
If you actually have something original on your profile (if you were the first person to put it on your profile and you didn't copy it from someone else's profile) copy and paste this to your profile
If you're happy and you know it clap your hands (I bet you thought I would say "copy and paste this to your profile", but you were wrong)
If you keep your profile very organized and have lines seperating the different sections copy and paste this to your profile
A ninja waits till the dead of night, when the enemy sleeps and drops his guard, when his weapons lie forgotten in the stillness in the dark, that is the moment for a ninja to strike. Copy and Paste this to yur profile if you know where this is from, and/or you memorized it.
If you're a procrastination addict, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you put off copying and pasting the above "copy and paste" copy and paste this to your profile.
If you can spout a random anime character quote on command, but couldn't tell someone your age in the same amount of time, copy and paste this into your profile. (no seriously! it takes me at least ten seconds to recall my age!)
Why America has issues (Yes, I live there, but tough. These are all clever.)
1. Only in America... can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
2. Only in America... are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.
3. Only in America...do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions, while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
4. Only in America...do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.
5. Only in America...do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.
6. Only in America...do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
7. Only in America... do we use answering machines to screen calls, and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.
8. Only in America... do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten, and buns in packages of eight.
9. Only in America... do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many', and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.
10.Only in America...do they have drive-up ATM's and vending machines with Braille lettering.
Choose your favourite characters from anything and number them 1-12, they can be from different things, so just mix it up:
1. Max (Maximum Ride)
Now let's see what happens! I will translate the names so that you won't have to keep scrolling up and down.
1. Have you ever read a Six/Eleven fic? Do you want to?
No and no.
2. Do you think Four is hot? How hot?
Yes otherwise he probably wouldn't be on this list. Seven point five out of ten.
3. What would happen if Twelve got Eight pregnant?
Science would be royally screwed and the child would probably be a very intelligent, pale-haired midget.
4. Can you recall any fics about Nine?
Yes many, most of them are Noda/Yuri oneshots.
5. Would Two and Six make a good couple?
I doubt it...Tsume would probably end up trying to kill Crona.
6. Five/Nine or Five/Ten? Why?
Noda/Yuri! Not only are they from the same show, but also that is my current favoride pairing anyways! As for Noda/Near...even though it's an alliteration that pairing could never work.
7. Is there any such thing as One/Eight fluff?
Maybe...I'm sure that if somebody wanted to they could probably write some.
8. Do any of your friends think Three is hot?
No because none of my friends watch anime T_T
9. If you wrote a songfic about Eight what song would you choose?
I have zero experience with songfics...uh...I also don't know many songs. Okay I have no clue.
10. If you wrote a One/Six/Twelve fic what would the warning be?
M for language and the drugging of three characters. Seriusly, that would only happen if all three of them were seriously drugged.
11. When was the last time you read a fic about Five?
12. (1) and (7) are in a happy relationship until (9) runs off with (7). (1), brokenhearted, has a hot one-night stand with (11) and a brief unhappy affair with (12), then follows the wise advice of (5) and finds true love with (3).
Not much to say. Could happen, under the right circumstances. Also...NODA GIVING WISE ADVICE!?!?! HAHAHA!!!
13. What would you title this fic?
Broken Flight to the Stars
14. How would you feel if Seven and Eight were in a fight?
Sad because L would be killed (again).
15. What would you think if you found (5) was a really good friend of a sibling or relative of yours?
If he were friends with my brother I would think, "Makes sense, idiots have a tendancy of grouping together."
16. How would you feel if (2) dissed you in the worst possible way ever?
A little ticked, but I wouldn't mind too much because Tsume's usually like that.
17. What would you think if (1) was emo and had tried to slit his/her wrists? If (1) is already emo/slit his/her wrists already, what would you think if (1) became the most optimistic person in the world?
That's difficult because she really did slit her wrists, but she isn't really an emo. So I will answer both.
"No Max! You need to lead the flock, and you can't do that as well if you're an emo!"
"Holy crap that's messed up! Please go back to being emo."
18. What would you feel this second if (4) gave you a daisy right now?
I would be in a state of shock.
19. (6) has just stolen your hairbrush. What is the first thing you would say?
(I know I really shouldn't tease him but...) "HAHAHA! You can have it! You need it because you have girly hair! Girly girly girly hair!"
20. (7), (9), and (4) band together at 3 in the morning and start to sing the most annoying song you know as loud as they can, waking you up. What is the first thing you think?
"How did Yuri get L and Gaara to sing? Did she offer L sweets? Well either way I won't try to kill them because they have Gaara with them."
21. (2) and (11) are your teachers. What would you do?
How did two wolves get jobs as teachers anyway?
Oh well, to answer the question I would be obedient in Tsume's class for fear of getting my head bitten off, and I would be nice in Toboe's class because he's such a kind person.
When you rearrange the letters: DIRTY ROOM
When you rearrange the letters: BEST IN PRAYER
When you rearrange the letters: MOON STARER
When you rearrange the letters: A ROPE ENDS IT
When you rearrange the letters: THEY SEE
When you rearrange the letters: HE BUGS GORE
THE MORSE CODE:
When you rearrange the letters: HERE COME DOTS
When you rearrange the letters: CASH LOST IN ME
When you rearrange the letters: IS NO AMITY
ELECTION - RESULTS:
When you rearrange the letters: LIES - LET'S RECOUNT
When you rearrange the letters: ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S
A DECIMAL POINT:
When you rearrange the letters: IM A DOT IN PLACE
When you rearrange the letters: THAT QUEER SHAKE
ELEVEN PLUS TWO:
When you rearrange the letters: TWELVE PLUS ONE
When you rearrange the letters: WOMAN HITLER
For me, crazy is a loose term.
Crazy is when you start dancing in Wal-Mart to its cheesy music.
Crazy is when you laugh uncontrollable at your own jokes.
Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what is so interesting about the eraser.
Crazy is when you have an hour-long sob fest, and then start singing and dancing when your favorite song comes on.
Crazy is when you do or say a completely random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumb war with yourself.
Crazy is when you type up all your favorite sayings, print them off and tape them to your wall, just for something to do.
Crazy is when you laugh when nothing's funny.
Crazy is when you forget what you're saying in the middle of a sentence.
Crazy is when you take the time to write down stuff like this and memorize it.
Crazy is when your so obsessed with a character that you bang on the T.V. every now and then to see if he/she will come out.
Crazy is when your are going through this as a checklist.
Crazy is when you quote Charlie the Unicorn at random moments.
Crazy is when you eat twenty pixie sticks in one day.
Crazy is when start talking nonsense everyday during gym.
Crazy is when you convince your friends your 'high' because you can't stop laughing even when nothing is funny.
Crazy is when you trip up the stairs, and laugh all the way back down them.
Crazy is when you doze off playing your virtual iPod in your head and are snapped out of it when a friend asks you why your wiggling to what seems like a beat.
Crazy is when you stand on the street corner dressed in snazzy costumes and sing the Lollipop song at the top of your lungs while waving at random cars as they drive by.
Crazy is when you fall out of bed and then ask the floor if it's ok.
Crazy is when you get jacked up on sugar on your school excursion to bush gardens, laugh for two hours straight WHILE riding roller coasters, then still laugh after you get slapped by your friends, and they pour a cold water on you, and you just stop suddenly, and when they asked why you laughed you say " I felt like it."
Crazy is when you claim you can walk on water and then get your best friend to hold you by your waist in the air and you move your legs in a walking movement.
Crazy is when you fight with your friend over which vegetable you want to be.
Crazy is when you say pineapple and then threaten to slap someone if they even mention the word; claiming that it's yours.
Crazy is when you have a whole glass of coke in one go and go so hyper you laugh for several hours straight and bounce on your knees on your friend's bed until it breaks.
Crazy is when you walk up to random people in the swimming pool and do a Rose Tyler impersonation and ask what planet you’re on.
Crazy is when you walk up to someone you've never seen before in the street and sprout some random techno babble that ends with "And that's why you should always carry a banana around with you."
Crazy is when you ruin your science exams by answering them using only Gallifreyan numerals and covering it in other random...alien symbols, and then trying to pass it off as legitimate to the Head of Department, by claiming that really, you honestly are a Time Lady from the planet Gallifrey.
Crazy is when you insist on dressing up as Doctor Who characters for an Olympic themed fundraiser, then end up going as an Olympic Torch instead!
Crazy is when you can't sit in Physics without nicking the teacher's shaky thing!
Crazy is when you do a headstand against you classroom wall and start to sing "By the Sea" from Sweeney Todd.
Crazy is when you try to stuff King size chocolate bar wrappers down the toilet.
Crazy is when you start rambling on about the physical abilities of pants.
Crazy is when you're best friend calls you at 11 at night and you are so tired that you think its 11 in the morning.
Crazy is when you frolic throughout the mall, buy a hat, then start shouting 'Mad as a Hatter! Hatters UNITE!' and start pretending your the Mad Hatter looking for Alice.
Crazy is when you have a voice in your head that you named Pedro, even though he clearly isn't Spanish and you just do that to annoy him.
Crazy is when you're so obsessed with eating your Jell-o, but have forgotten your spoon, so you try to drink it through a straw.
Crazy is when you crack up if someone says "Oatmeal!".
Crazy is when you’re crazy.
Crazy is when it is last day of school you scream and run around in circles.
Crazy is when you get drunk on air and laugh during the saddest part of the movie.
Crazy is when you can call yourself someone else, and completely become that person, forgetting your reason for hating the world.
Crazy is when you laugh at nothing during school and laugh when everyone looks at you like your insane.
Crazy is when you trip over nothing at all, fall, and say "I see the ground...it's pretty"
Crazy is when you have a mental breakdown during lunch, because you’re stabbing an orange repeatedly with a fork while laughing hysterically and not caring who gives you weird looks. It’s also when you do weird stuff, just for the sake of getting weird looks.
Crazy is when you start singing in Japanese in the middle of class.
How many of these does it take for you to be officially crazy?
Also I want to add that giving your number to someone you just met is not crazy, It's stupid.
Copy/paste this on your profile, and then add something crazy YOU have done to the list.
She’s emo? You’d cut too, if you’ve been through what she has.
23 Things to do when you're in Walmart!
1. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
2. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.
3. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, " 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.
4. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
5. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
6. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.
7. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"
8. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.
9. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.
10. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.
11. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look"
12. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"
13. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream.. "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!"
14. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!
15. Grab a lot of bouncy balls and throw them down the aisle, shouting "Go, Pikachu, Go!", or "I choose YOU, PIKACHU!!"
16. Have a friend push you down the aisle in a shopping cart as you yell "THE REDNECKS ARE COMING! THE REDNECKS ARE COMING!"
17. Shout at the top of your lungs "WALDEMORT IS TAKING OVER!" and count how many people turn to look at you.
18. Put a blanket around your shoulders and run around the store yelling "Come Robin...to the Batcave!"
19. Yell at the manager for false advertising "YOU DON'T SELL WALLS HERE!"
20. While in the fitting room yell "There's no toiletpaper in here!" (not actually going to the bathroom in there)
21. Walk really slow in front of people in narrow aisles.
22. Fill the entire auto department with air freshner.
23. Redress the maniquins
To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity
1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.
2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.
3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that.
4. When caught sleeping at school/work/wherever you are not supposed to be sleeping, and you are woken up, shout, "AMEN!"
5.Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.
6.In the Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write For Marijuana
7.Finish All Your sentences with 'In Accordance With The Prophecy'.
10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.
9. Skip down the hall Rather Than Walk and see how many looks you get.
11.Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is 'To Go'.
12. Sing Along At The Opera.
14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area and Play tropical Sounds All Day.
15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You aren’t in the mood.
17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream 'I Won!' I Won!'
18. When Leaving the Zoo, Start Running towards the Parking lot, Yelling 'Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!'
19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, 'Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.'
Pirates are cool. The color blue reminds me of chocolate and Edward Cullen. walrus! AHAHAHAHA!! LUKE I AM YOUR FATHA!! I hate lacrosse. don't ask why. I want some toast. DO THE BARTMAN! SHOOBUS MY WOOBUS and SHOOP DA WOOP, baby! BADA BOOM BADA BAM! Do you have an axolotl in your toilet? I love pi! 3.1415926535897932384...My aunt's unicorn hates grilled cheese sandwiches, but I like cheese. I have seen purple cows. If two gooses are geese, then why aren't two moose meese, or when two foots are feet, why aren't two footballs feetball? Milk tastes good. if you are random, copy and paste this, then add something random of your own the random thingamagiger
Hello. Welcome to the State Mental Hospital Phone Line.
Please select from the following options menu:
If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.
If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want, stay on the line so we can trace your call.
If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be forwarded to the Mother Ship.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.
If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, nothing will make you happy anyway.
If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696.
If you are bipolar, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
If you have low self-esteem, please hang up, our operators are too busy to talk with you.
If you are menopausal, put the gun down, hang up, turn on the fan, lie down and cry. You won't be crazy forever.
If you are blonde, don't press any buttons, you'll just mess it up.
When life gives you Lemons...
... Throw them right back, 'cause really, who likes Lemons?
... Make grape juice, sit back, and watch the world wonder how.
... Squirt them in Life's eyes, then see how much Life like Lemons then!
... Alter their DNA and make SUPER LEMONS!!!!!!!
... Make apple juice out of the grape juice, and laugh as the world wonders what the crap you did.
... Chuck them at random people.
... Throw them right back, and tell Life to make its own dang lemonade!!!
... throw them at the mean people and hope it gets them in the eyes.
Ways to Annoy people at the cinema:
Throw popcorn in the air and yell, "It's snowing!"
Go, "Oooooh..." whenever anyone kisses.
Clap when the good guy gets killed.
During the previews, yell, "Can you fast-forward it?"
Whenever the bad guy is doing something devious, say, "Watch out!"
Laugh very loudly at all the corny jokes.
Tell the man selling popcorn that the bathroom is flooding.
Yell out what is going to happen.
Wear a cape and when it’s your turn to get popcorn yell, "I'm Batman! Hahaha!" and run away.
Say that they cannot sit next to you because you invisible friend already is.
Dress for every movie as if it were the Rocky Horror Picture Show.
Use empty chairs next to you as catapults with candy. Aim at specific people behind you and see if you can hit anyone in the back row.
Wear 3D glasses. Complain loudly how bad the effects are.
Bring a flashlight. In the middle of the film do shadow puppets on the ceiling.
Bring a remote control. Complain that you can't change the channel.
Sit front row, the minute the movie starts run out screaming.
Every time a character's name is mentioned do the Richmeister. (for a guy named Nick say, the Nickmeister, the Nickenator, Nickarino...)
Bring a beach ball. Toss it around.
Try to start a wave.
Become a bookie. Take bets on who will die first
Sit in the back and throw eggs at the projection window.
Every time someone curses cover your ears and scream, "No profanity!"
Sing with the theme music.
Bring and use your own air freshener.
At the ticket booth, request tickets for really old movies, "I'll have two tickets for the Goonies."
Throw spit wads on the screen. Try throwing them on the upper part of the screen so they can't get scraped off.
Pass around a collection plate and see if anyone contributes.
Point a laser pointer at the screen. Give the audience a laser light show.
Bring a book and a bright light. Start reading the book with the light on. When someone asks you to turn out the light, yell, "Shh, I'm trying to read!"
Use binoculars. Stare at the audience rather than the movie.
Bring a Nintendo laser gun. Shoot at the screen.
Clap loudly every time a person walks into the theater late.
When someone kicks the back of your chair, scream, "Ahhh, whiplash!"
Ask what the theater's return policy on popcorn is.
Ask the person at the ticket window, "Do you work here?"
Start a standing ovation at the end of the movie.
Quote all dialogue 4 seconds after it is said on the screen.
Get up frequently and leave the room while singing "Let's all go to the Lobby to get ourselves a treat"
Every time there is a gun shot scream, "Hit the floor!" jump on the floor, and cover your head.
Wear one of those "cat in the hat" top hats.
Play musical chairs, getting up frequently and moving right next to someone sitting by themselves.
Bring your own beanbag chair and sit in the aisle.
Before the movie begins, tape fart cushions to various chairs in the theater room.
Bring a portable air popper, pop your own popcorn.
Bring a watergun and shoot it at anyone who begins talking then say very loudly, "SHH!"
Before the commercials start and people are just coming in and shout so that people outside can hear, "I'M SO VERY SORRY! YOU'RE TOO LATE!"
Tie a cardboard box around your waist and walk up and down the aisles shouting "Get your popcorn, peanuts!"
Cough really loudly right at the most important part of the movie, so nobody can here it, like when the killer's name is going to be said.
Laugh hysterically during the sad parts in the movie, cry during the funny ones.
Bring a pager or cellphone and set them off every 5 minutes, you can also set off a watch alarm if you have a loud one.
Say "Shhhhh" every 5 minutes.
Pass by a room that's showing a movie you've already seen, put your head into the room, and scream the end.
Really dumb product labels:
On Tesco's Tiramisu desert: (Printed on the bottom) "Don't turn upside down." ( Too Late!)
On Mark's and Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (Naw, really?)
On packaging for Rowenta Iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (Wouldn't that save time?)
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive or operate machinery after taking this medication" (Someone should take some serious action about all those toddlers driving forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleeping Aid: "Warning, may cause drowsiness." (One would hope!)
On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor and outdoor use only." (As apposed to what?)
On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use" (So how else am I gonna get rid of the bodies?)
On Sainsbury's peanuts: "Warning, contains peanuts." (Thank you captain obvious.)
On artificial bacon: "Real artificial bacon bits." (You don't want to get the fake artificial bacon.)
On Taiwanese butcher knife: "Warning, Keep out of children" (I hope something got lost in the translation.)
If you thought capturing pokemon was a simple affair...THINK AGAIN!!!
The formula for determining the capture of the Pokémon is as follows:
Catch Value = ((( 3 * Max HP - 2 * HP ) * (Catch Rate * Ball Modifier ) / (3 * Max HP) ) * Status Modifier
The Catch Value from that equation is then put through another equation to determine whether or not the Pokémon is to be captured
Catch = 1048560 / ((16711680 / CatchValue)) = (220 - 24) / (((224 - 216) / CatchValue))
If Catch Value is 255, then capture is guaranteed. However, if not, then the second formula is taken into account. When you throw the Pokéball, and whenever the Pokéball shakes, a random number is generated and if the random number is greater than the value output through the above formula, then capture fails. If however, the random number is lower, then it will go to the next attempt and generate another random number. This is done for three shakes until the capture is complete.
But that's not all!
In addition to that they have also added Critical Captures. This feature works like Critical Hits in battle where there is a slight chance that this feature occurs. Critical Capture will be noticed when you throw the Pokéball. It'll pause in mid-air and make a metal noise. When it hits the Pokémon, it will shake once and capture. This cuts two of the four random calculations out of the overal capture mechanic making it more likely to capture the Pokémon. However, it can still fail.
The calculation is done by a simple factor depending upon the amount of Pokémon species you have captured. It will run this calculation based upon the capture value calculated above and will then have another random number based upon the Pokémon you have captured.
Critical Capture = floor((255,CatchValue) * Multiplier)
Multiplier is the value decided by how many species you have captured and a chart for finding the value can be found on sites such as Serebii
So next time you throw a pokeball remember this and know that pressing B every time the ball shakes will not improve your odds of catching the pokemon
100 Rules of Anime
#1 - Law of Metaphysical Irregularity- The normal laws of physics do not apply.
#2 - Law of Differential Gravitation- Whenever someone or something jumps, is
thrown, or otherwise is rendered airborne, gravity is reduced by a factor of 4.
Some things have been known to "Float" for a few seconds before plummeting to hit
the ground, vehicle, or someone’s cranium.
#3 - Law of Sonic Amplification, First Law of Anime Acoustics- In space, loud
sounds, like explosions, are even louder because there is no air to get in the way.
#4 - Law of Constant Thrust, First Law of Anime Motion- In space, constant thrust
equals constant velocity.
#5 - Law of Mechanical Mobility, Second Law of Anime Motion- The larger a
mechanical device is, the faster it moves, Armoured Mecha are the fastest objects
known to human science.
#6 - Law of Temporal Variability- Time is not a constant. Time stops for the hero
whenever he does something "cool" or "impressive". Time slows down when friends and
lovers are being killed and speeds up whenever there is a fight.
#7 - First Law of Temporal Mortality- "Good Guys" and "Bad Guys" both die in one of
two ways - either so quick they don’t even see it coming, OR it’s a long drawn out
affair where the character gains much insight to the workings of society, human
existence or why the toast always lands butter side down. *NOTE: Sometimes, Anime
heroes or villains never really die! In these rare cases they were a clone or cyborg
and the real hero/villain’s suspiciously missing in "Malletspace", or something.
#8 - Second Law of Temporal Mortality- It takes some time for bad guys to die...
regardless of physical damage. Even when the "Bad Guys" are killed so quickly they
don’t even see it coming, it takes them a while to realize they are dead. This is
attributed to the belief that being evil damages the Reality Lobe of the brain.
#9 - Law of Dramatic Emphasis- Scenes involving extreme amounts of action are
depicted with either still frames or black screens with a slash of bright color
(usually red or white).
#10- Law of Dramatic Multiplicity- Scenes that only happen once, for instance, a
"Good Guy" kicks the "Bad Guy" in the face, are seen at least 3 times from 3
#11- Law of Inherent Combustibility- Everything explodes. Everything.
First Corollary- Anything that explodes bulges first.
Second Corollary- Large cities are the most explosive substances known to
human science. Tokyo in particular seems to be the most unstable of these cities,
sometimes referred to as "The Matchstick City".
#12- Law of Phlogistatic Emission- Nearly all things emit light from fatal wounds.
#13- Law of Energetic Emission- There is always an energy build up (commonly
referred to as an energy "bulge") before Mecha or space craft weapons fire. Because
of the explosive qualities of weapons, it is believed that this is related to the
Law of Inherent Combustibility.
#14- Law of Inverse Lethal Magnitude- The destructive potential of any
object/organism is inversely proportional to its mass.
First Corollary- Small and cute will always overcome big and ugly. Also
known as the A-Ko phenomenon.
#15- Law of Inexhaustibility- No one *EVER* runs out of ammunition. That is of
course unless they are cornered, out-numbered, out-classed, and unconscious.
#16- Laws of Inverse Accuracy- The accuracy of a "Good Guy" when operating any form
of firearm increases as the difficulty of the shot increases. The accuracy of the
"Bad Guys" when operating firearms decreases when the difficulty of the shot
decreases. (Also known as the Stormtrooper Effect) Example: A "Good Guy" in a
drunken stupor being held upside down from a moving vehicle will always hit, and
several battalions of "Bad Guys" firing on a "Good Guy" standing alone in the middle
of an open field will always miss.
First Corollary- The more "Bad Guys" there are, the less likely they will
hit anyone or do any real damage.
Second Corollary- Whenever a "Good Guy" is faced with insurmountable odds,
the "Bad Guys" line up in neat rows, allowing the hero to take them all out with a
single burst of automatic fire and then escape.
Third Corollary- Whenever a "Good Guy" is actually hit by enemy fire, it is
in a designated "Good Guy Area", usually a flesh wound in the shoulder or arm,
which restricts the "Good Guy" from doing anything more strenuous than driving,
firing weaponry, using melee weapons, operating heavy machinery, or doing complex
martial arts maneuvers.
Fourth Corollary- The more times the "Bad Guy" fires, the fewer times he
#17- Law of Transient Romantic Unreliability- Minimei is a bimbo. (Note: The
Minority Opposition in Ohio disagrees and thinks all men who like this stuff needs
to get out more.)
#18- Law of Hemoglobin Capacity- the human body contains over 12 gallons of blood,
sometimes more, under high pressure.
#19- Law of Demonic Consistency- Demons and other supernatural creatures have at
least three eyes, loads of fangs, tend to be yellow-green or brown, but black is not
unknown, and can only be hurt by bladed weapons. *Also, acid has been known to work
just as well...
#20- Law of Militaristic Unreliability- Huge galaxy-wide armadas, entire armies, and
large war machines full of cruel, heartless, bloodthirsty warriors can be stopped
and defeated with a single insignificant example of a caring/loving emotion or a
First Corollary- Whenever a single war machine (mecha, starship, etc.) goes
up against an entire army, the army always loses.
#21- Law of Tactical Unreliability- Tactical geniuses aren’t...
#22 -Law of Inconsequential Undetectability- People never notice the little
things... like missing body parts, or wounds the size of Seattle.
#23- Law of Juvenile Intellectuality- Children are smarter than adults. And almost
twice as annoying.
#24- Law of Americanthromorphism- Americans in Anime appear in one of two roles,
either as a really nasty skinny "Bad Guy" or a big stupid "Good Guy".
First Corollary- The only people who are more stupid than the big dumb
Americans are the American translators. (Sometimes referred to as the Green Line
Second Corollary- The only people who are more stupid than the American
translators are the American editors and censors.
Third Corollary- Canadians are usually portrayed as smart, strong, handsome
#25- Law of Mandibular Proportionality- The size of a person’s mouth is directly
proportional to the volume at which they are speaking or eating.
#26- Law of Feline Mutation- Any half-cat/half-human mutation will invariably:
1) be female.
2) will possess ears and sometimes a tail as a genetic mutation.
3) wear as little clothing as possible, if any.
#27- Law of Conservation of Firepower- Any powerful weapon capable of
destroying/defeating an opponent in a single shot will invariably be reserved and
used as a last resort.
#28- Law of Technological User-Benevolence- The formal training required to operate
a spaceship or mecha is inversely proportional to its complexity.
#29- Law of Melee Luminescence- Any being displaying extremely high levels of
martial arts prowess and/or violent emotions emits light in the form of a glowing
aura. This aura is usually blue for "Good Guys" and red for "Bad Guys". This is
attributed to Good being higher in the electromagnetic spectrum than Evil.
#30- Law of Non-Anthropomorphic Antagonism- All ugly, non-humanoid alien races are
hostile, and usually hell-bent on destroying humanity for some obscure reason.
#31- Law of Follicular Chromatic Variability- Any color in the visible spectrum is
considered a natural hair color. This color can change without warning or
#32- Law of Follicular Permanence- Hair in anime is pretty much indestructible, and
can resist any amount of meteorological conditions, energy emissions, physical
abuse, or explosive effects and still look perfect. The only way to hurt someone’s
hair is the same way you deal with demons... with bladed weapons!
#34- Law of Probable Attire- Clothing in anime follows certain predictable
guidelines: Female characters wear as little clothing as possible, regardless of
whether it is socially or meteorologically appropriate. Any female with an excessive
amount of clothing will invariably have her clothes ripped to shreds or torn off
somehow. If there is no opportunity to tear off aforementioned female’s clothes,
then she will inexplicably take a shower for no apparent reason (also known as the
Gratuitous Shower Scene). Whenever there is a headwind, Male characters invariably
wear long cloaks that don’t hamper movement and billow out dramatically behind them.
First Corollary (Cryo-Adaptability)- All anime characters are resistant to
extremely cold temperatures, and do not need to wear heavy or warm clothing in snow.
Second Corollary (Indecent Invulnerability)- Bikinis render the wearer
invulnerable to any form of damage.
Third Corollary (Probable Attire permanence)- The clothing on the hero is
indestructible. Their capes, robes, (and if they are girls,) skirts, dresses, bows,
or any loose clothing will just flap when they are in the middle of a fire or ice
attack... Unless it's a hentai. It is believed that the clothes are made out of
Anime Character hair. (re. Laws 32 & 48)
#35- Law of Musical Omnipotence- Any character capable of musical talent (singing,
playing an instrument, etc. Is automatically capable of doing much more "simple"
things, like piloting mecha, fighting crime, stopping an intergalactic war, and so
on... especially if they’ve never attempted these things before.
#36- Law of Quintupular Agglutination- Also called "The Five-man Rule", when "Good
Guys" group together, it tends to be in groups of five. There are five basic
positions, which are:
1) The Hero/Leader
2) His Girlfriend
3) His Best Friend/Rival
4) A Hulking Brute
5) A Dwarf/Kid
Between these basic positions are distributed several attributes, which include:
1) Extreme Coolness
2) Amazing Intelligence
3) Incredible Irritation
#37- Law of Extradimensional Capacitance- All anime females have an
extrasdimensional storage space of variable volume somewhere on their person from
which they can instantly retrieve any object at a moment’s notice. This mysterious
dimension is commonly called "Malletspace".
First Corollary (AKA The Hammer Rule)- The most common item stored is a
heavy mallet, costumes/uniforms, power suits/armor, and large bazookas.
#38- Law of Hydrostatic Emission- Eyes tend to be rather large in Anime. This is
because they contain several gallons of water, which may be instantaneously released
at high pressure through large tear ducts. The actual volume of water contained in
the eyes is unknown, as there is no evidence to suggest that these reservoirs are
actually capable of running out. The reason water tends to collect in the eyes is
because Anime characters only have one large sweat gland, which is located at the
back of the head. When extremely stressed , embarrassed, or worried, this sweat
gland exudes a single but very large drop of sebaceous fluid.
#39- Law of Inverse Attraction- Success at finding suitable mates is inversely
proportionate to how desperately you want to be successful. The more you want, the
less you get and vice-versa.
First Corollary- Unfortunately, this law seems to apply to Otaku in the real
#40- Law of Nasal Sanguination- When sexually aroused, males in Anime don’t get
erections, they get nosebleeds. No one’s sure why this is, though... the current
theory suggests that larger eyes means smaller sinuses and thinner sinus tissue (see
Law #38 above). Females don’t get nosebleeds, but invariably get one heck of a blush
along the cheeks and across the nose, suggesting a lot of bloodflow to that region.
#41- Law of Xylolaceration- Wooden or bamboo swords are just as sharp as metal
swords, if not sharper.
#42- Law of Juvenile Omnipotence- Always send a boy to do a man’s job. He’ll get it
done in half the time and twice the angst.
#43- Law of Triscaquadrodecophobia- There is no Law #43.
#44- Law of Nominative Clamovocation- the likelihood of success and damage done by a
martial arts attack is directly proportional to the volume at which the full name of
the attack is announced (known as the Kamehameha effect).
#45- Law of Uninteruptable Metamorphosis- Regardless of how long or involved the
transformation sequence or how many times they’ve seen it before, any "Bad Guys"
witnessing a mecha/hero/heroine transforming are too stunned to do anything to
#46- Law of Flimsy Incognition- Simply changing into a costume or wearing a teensy
mask can make you utterly unrecognizable to even your closest friends and relatives.
#47- Law of Mandibular Combustible Emission- All anime characters seem to have some
unknown chemical on their breath that reacts VERY violently with extremely hot or
spicy food. This chemical may also be responsible for the phenomenon of fire behind
the eyes and from the mouth when a character (usually a female) is really angry.
#48- Law of Electrical and Combustible Survivalism- If you get electrocuted or
burned, YOU WILL SURVIVE!! Though your entire body will be scorched, seconds later,
your skin won’t have a trace of damage (Also known as the "Pikachu Effect").
First Corollary- When a magical bad guy/Alien/monster fires off a flame,
wind, or ice attack, the resulting effect is only enough for the hero(es)/heroine(s)
to be standing in the "Walking Against the Wind" stance, with his/her eyes shut and
letting out a pathetic "Aaaaagh!", and yet they are never harmed. This may be in
part to laws 32, 34 and sometimes 44.
#49- Law of Female wrath- If a male character insults a female character, he will
get a mallet, shotgun, or tank blast, or if she is a character that can perform
magical feats, a fireball or whatever, to the head, body or whatever (Also known as
the "Lina Inverse/Gourry Factor") This is because he always deserves it, and will
help him to cope in today’s society. (>Sniff Sniff
#50- Law of Artistic Perversion- Most (not all) Anime artists are perverts and are
under the impression that girls are willing to tear off their clothes, or wear VERY
small, revealing outfits at the drop of a pin (or pen for that matter).
Unfortunately, most Hentai fans are under the same impression.
#51- Law of Uninteruptable Nominative Clamovocation- This law is a mixture of Laws
44 and 45. Regardless of how long or involved the Spell or projectile attack is, and
the likelihood of success and damage done by the volume at which the full name of
the attack is announced, or how many times they’ve seen it before, any "Bad Guys"
witnessing a hero/heroine quoting the incantations for an extremely powerful attack
are too stunned to do anything to interrupt it. (Also known as the "Dragon Slave
52- Law of Telepathic Obliviousness- Most of the time, some Anime characters
(usually males) will think personal (Like that he/she has sabotaged something), or
perverted thoughts, while near some other character, WHO’S TELEPATHIC!! The reasons
for this are:
1) They forgot that the person is telepathic.
2) They just don’t give a damn.
The reasons the telepathic person doesn’t react are:
1) They’re preoccupied with doing something else.
2) They’d rather keep the fact to themselves that they are Telepathic.
3) They just don’t give a damn.
#53- Law of Chromatic Diversity- Air can be any color of the viewable spectrum.
#54- Law of Old Man Comic Relief- Comic relief comes in the form of a short, bald,
wise-mouthed dirty old man or alien. Or the combination of any two of those traits.
First Corollary- If old man is present, and is acting too horny, stupid,
etc., there will invariably be an old woman to whap him over the head with a frying
pan or something.
#55- Law of the Wise Old Man- Little old Japanese men always know how it ends and
withhold the ending from anyone, especially the hero. This includes special power
weapons, ancient relics, and people who know everything.
#56- Law of Omnipotent Unreliability- Any "Bad Guy" with Omnipotent powers/weapons
will never use those powers/weapons against the "Good Guy" until it is too late.
First Corollary- All "Bad Guys" suffer from Antagonistic Boasting Syndrome
which require all "Bad Guys" to threaten with or exemplify their prowess and not use
it against the "Good Guy".
Second Corollary- No "Bad Guy" may use any new, secret, or superior military
device without one of the following events occurring:
a) The control device being broken.
The control device being taken by the "Good Guy".
c) The control device is in fact not the real device at all and was just
"fooled" by the "Good Guy".
d) The "Bad Guy" has already lost and cannot use the device.
#57- Law of Minimum Corneal Volume- Eyeballs may make up no less than one sixth of
the face’s total surface area. More so if the case is a blonde woman.
#58- Law of Electrical Charges in Hair- Hair attracts electricity in abundance,
resulting in two outcomes:
a) A positive charge will result in the spikes-flying-everywhere-behind-me
A negative charge will result in the
#59- Law of Ammunition Accuracy- When there are multiple types of ammunition
available (paintballs, speaker pods), non-lethal rounds will always be more accurate
when compared to "standard" or lethal shots. (Macross Plus for paintballs, Macross 7
for speaker pods)
#60- Law of Active Female Attraction- In a comedy series, a male character’s
attractiveness to women is inversely proportional to how active they pursue them.
(Tenchi, Ranma, and Makoto [OVA] have a seemingly endless supply of willing
girlfriends despite their lack of romantic skill while Happosai, Ataru, and Carrot
couldn’t get a date despite [or because of] their constant attempts.)
#61- Law of Sweat Pore Variability- When a person is embarrassed, caught in an
awkward situation, or otherwise humiliated, all sweat pores on the body contract,
except for ones on the forehead. These pores expand to such a degree that a single
drop could fill a Big Gulp from 7-11.
#62- The Law of Inverse Training Time- A person who has been training for 3 years
is never as good as someone who has been training for one month.
#63- Law of Needs to Few and Many- The needs of the many, outweigh the needs of the
few... of even the one.
#64- Law of Bad Humor- Whenever someone says something that is intended to be
funny, whether actually funny or not, the rest of the characters (even animals) fall
to the ground with their feet in the air. Sweat sometimes accompanies the fall.
(The sound of a cow mooing usually accompanies the joke as well.)
#65- Law of Extreme Anger- Whenever a female character gets mad, such as seeing the
male character with another girl, she becomes extremely strong (despite her usually
helpless look) so that she can lift a 1000 ton object to hurt the guy. She can
sometimes perform other punishments that are just as cruel such as pinching the
guy’s face so hard that it changes shape. *(see law #49)
#66- Law of Differentiated Gravitation-
First Corollary- If the airborne entity exceeds an altitude equal or greater
than two times the height of the entity, gravity is decreased by an inverse
coefficient relative to the upward momentum and mass/weight (if within at least
500 km of any gravity source) of the entity "jumping".
Second Corollary- The amount of Newtonian "opposite force" (in accordance to
normal downward velocity; "Earth gravity" speed is equal to 32ft/sec/sec) is also
inversely proportional to the "actual" speed of the airborne entity. In all
actuality, an entity that appears to be flying towards a solid concrete parking lot
from space will actually land, producing an opposite force of approximately 1.73 lb.
of pressure. Unless this particular entity is a "Bad Guy". Then the law exhibits a
mysterious exponentially proportional Newtonian opposite force, thusly increasing
this variable by a factor equal to the inverse-gravity potential.
#67- Law of Conservation of Ambient Dramatic Tension- In any situation where the
Ambient Dramatic Tension increases, the "Good Guy’s" Style Coefficient must be
increased by a proportional amount to compensate. In any situation where this does
not happen, the "Bad Guy" inevitably comes out on top. However, this usually leads
to a further rise in the Ambient Dramatic tension, which will *always* be offset by
an exponential increase in the "Good Guy’s" Style Coefficient.
#68- Law of Coercive Vehicular Control- No matter how complex or well defined the
control system, a character controlling a vehicle of any sort always does so through
means of undetectable subconscious psychokinesis.
First Corollary- Characters can perform actions with their vehicles which
clearly defy normal physics (see Laws of Metaphysical Irregularity and Constant
Thrust). The velocity, attitude and traction of the vehicle appear to be adjusted at
will, with the degree of absolute control being proportional to the complexity and
lethality of the maneuver.
Second Corollary- It is effectively impossible to remove characters from or
disrupt the passage of their vehicles without the character’s consent. This does not
always apply to "Bad Guy" characters, or "Good Guy" characters in situations where
the Ambient Dramatic Tension could increase in accordance with the Law of
Conservation of Ambient Dramatic Tension.
#69- Amendment to the Law of Conservation of Ambient Dramatic Tension- In any
situation where the Ambient Dramatic Tension increases without a corresponding
increase in the "Good Guy’s" Style Coefficient, not only does the "Bad Guy" usually
come out on top, but also his Smugness Factor increases in proportion to the rise in
Ambient Dramatic Tension.
#70- Law of The Rushing Background Effect- Whenever something dramatic occurs, a
survival instinct engages, thus rendering all incoming stimulus that is not directly
and immediately to the dramatic situation at hand a meaningless blur. This is often
referred to as "The Rushing Background Effect". Due to the increase in brain
activity and adrenaline levels in the bloodstream, the scene is often played out in
#71- Law of Interdimensional Hammers- Whenever a female character witnesses a male
character of her preference performing any sort of questionable act (i.e. Looking at
another girl or anything she might construe as perverted) she can reach into an
interdimensional realm (usually behind her back) and withdraw a huge Anime Mallet of
Doom with which to whack the said male over the head with. *(see Laws # 37, 49, and
#72- Law of Instant Band-Aids- Whenever a character is injured (usually in a head
shot, maybe from a mallet whack) Band-Aids will always instantly appear on the
wounded individual (and always in pairs, set in a cross fashion). These bandages
will then, most likely, disappear by the character’s next scene.
#73- Law of Universal Edge Defense- Any projectile attack, from a blast of magic to
a hail of bullets, can be easily defended against by holding a suitably cool-looking
sword or other bladed weapon between the attacker and defender, usually so that the
edge cuts into the incoming attack(s), causing both halves to go flying harmlessly
past the defender. Observed most often in fantasy and martial arts anime.
#74- Law of Intractable Sanity- There is no such thing as insanity in anime. When
faced with horrifying supernatural forces that would drive most men mad, anime
characters will either:
a) Die quickly (but in accordance with all other laws [e.g., slowdown and
Get possessed by them, especially if they are beautiful girls or men in a
position to ravish beautiful girls, or
c) Kill them, wipe the blood off their blades, and walk on whistling.
#75- Law of Celestial Body Control- At a dramatically correct moment, a hero can
summon a sun/moon/halo to appear behind him/her to cause a dramatic silhouette.
#76- Law of Aura of Forgetfulness- Any hero who wishes his/her identity to remain a
secret will invariably succeed regardless of disguise because everyone around
him/her will forget everything. Otherwise, how does Sailor Moon keep her disguise?
#77- Law of Cool Hair Factor- The hair of a hero will always coalesce into thick
strands that drape his face into a dramatic fashion, regardless of wind, the
elements, etc. *(see Laws 32 & 48)
#78- Law of Inverse Coping- Any single event will happen to the ONE character LEAST
capable of dealing with it.
#79- Law of Martial Arts Training Invulnerability- The Myth that certain martial
arts will enable you to become so strong, that you can stop a nuclear warhead with
your bare palm. Unfortunately, for most otaku, they found the hard way that it just
doesn’t work in real life...
#80- Law of Stereotype Captain characteristics- If a captain of any type of ship is
male, he will invariably wear a big captain’s cap, a long overcoat, and have a
shaggy beard and mustache (pipe optional), and be a great tactician. If the captain
is female, however, she will invariably be young, well endowed, and ditzy as a pole
(horny father optional). Yet, she too will be a great tactician.
#81- Law of Shades/Coolness Factor- Shades can make you instantly cool, even if
you’re normally a klutz.
#82- Law of Hentai Plot- The proper response to any change in the plotline of a
Hentai anime is to start having sex.
#83- Law of Understatement- Anything that is deemed too impossible will become
First Corollary- Any "Bad Guy" stating "T-that’s impossible!" whenever the
hero is accomplishing some new feat/move/projectile will find out too late that he
is wrong and will invariably be toastied.
#84- Law of Dormant Powers- Anytime a hero is somehow outpowered and/or outclassed
by the villain, he will invariably release powers/new moves he never knew he could
accomplish... but his old teacher did!
#85- Law of Style Coefficient- In a situation where a Good guy may be in dire
straits, he will become stronger, smarter and more cool in a matter of seconds. (see
Laws #67, 69, and 84)
#86- Law of Bad Guy Smugness Factor- Whenever the villain actually succeeds in
beating the hero, they will begin to gloat uncontrollably, because they’ve never won
against the "Good Guy" (because they’re Eeeviiil!!). They usually get so cocky, they
tie the hero to a conveyor belt leading to his doom and leave to get a snack.
Usually this results in:
a) The hero escaping.
Clean-up for the underlings.
c) The villain getting toastied.
#87- Law of Tableware Nonexistence- There IS no spoon.
#88- Law of Goofy Turn-Ons- In Hentai, ordinary , pedestrian objects sometimes have
the magical power of either inducing orgasm or arousal. Some include warm water,
rolling on a smooth tabletop, wind, mild electrocution, the character toweling
themselves after a bath/shower, and very cold objects... like bottles of 7-up.
#89- Law of Penile Variance- All Anime men in Hentai have a ridiculously large
penis (lengths of 8, 9, 10 and 11 inches are most common). Some even have ones the
size of telephone poles, despite the blood loss that would accompany it...
#90-Law of Hentai Female Characteristics- All Hentai women have the following
1) Very sensitive and/or very large breasts with large nipples.
2) Very tight and/or sensitive vaginas.
#91- Law of Vaginal Variance- Hentai Anime women can take penis lengths of 8" and
up... completely... despite the fact that they might have a tight and/or sensitive
#92- Law of Hero Identification- All heroes are introduced by way of appearance
while someone talking about their (in)famous-ness, or by way of a voice-over of them
#93- Law of Cute Mascots- Any anime either Shojo or Shonen has GOT to have at
least one cute, furry little mascot by penalty of death!
First Corollary- If it is a Shonen Anime, the hero will be accompanied by a
Dog, Cat or any kind of animal, real or fake, that would be found with a hero of the
male persuasion. Any animal that would be associated with girls that is following
him around is there because:
1) It’s his girlfriend’s.
2) It is following him, despite his insistence not to do so.
3) Chicks will dig him more.
Second Corollary- If it is a Shojo Anime, the heroine will be accompanied by
a cat, cute lil’ mouse, or some disgustingly cute monster, or any kind of animal,
real or fake, that would be found with a hero of the female persuasion. Any animal
that would be associated with guys that is following her around is there because:
1) It’s her boyfriend’s.
2) It is following her, despite her insistence not to do so.
3) It makes her look cool.
#94- Law of The Force- Most Anime heroes are blessed with a unique sort of ability
that enables bad things to happen to those that deserve it or makes things like
bullets or debris totally miss them (Also referred to as "Dumb Luck"), even though
they are mostly unaware of it. Those who have this ability include Vash the
Stampede, Captain Justy Ueki Tylor, and Jar Jar Binks.
#95- Law of Naughty Tentacles- All Anime Tentacles are VERY horny and will rape any
human female, regardless of age ("She’s 18! No! Really, she is! I’m not lying!...")
First Corollary- Even when raped or molested by tentacles, Hentai Anime
girls eventually get into it & begin squealing in ecstasy. NO one knows WHY this is,
but some theorize there may be some kind of chemical that is secreted through the
skin of the tentacle...
Second Corollary- Women who are impregnated by a tentacle creature never
experience morning sickness, and also find it to be intensely pleasurable (Also
known as the Goofy Meter Redline Effect).
Third Corollary- Similarly, the resulting... offspring of tentacle/human
relations is immediately sexually active, often impregnating its own mother again.
#96- Law of Cat-Fighting- Two females with a grudge can and will go at each other,
sometimes ripping off clothes. Sometimes it escalates so much, that property damage
begins to occur.
First Corollary- A running fight can be so destructive, you can follow it
from a distance just by watching for the smoke. (Also known as the "A-ko/B-ko
#97- Law of Healing- Most anime heroes have a Wolverine-like healing factor that
enables them to regenerate from a massive wound or broken bone within minutes. Being
immortal sometimes helps. (Also known as the "Priss Effect".)
#98- Law of Stereotype Crew Characteristics- All ships, either waterborne or
spaceborne, have the following crew members:
1) The captain
2) His Lieutenant
3) Various female technical staff
4) A hotshot pilot
5) A cute little girl/twins (either stowaways or not)
6) The Doctor
7) The Doctor’s assistant (either a spy or not)
Weighted among the crew are various quirks which include:
1) Extreme coolness/luck
2) Amazing Intelligence
3) Incredible irritation
4) Extreme cuteness
5) Irresponsible drunkenness
7) Emotionless (Idiots.)
#99- Law of Sparklies- Whenever a character of the main character’s interest
appears, flowers, sparkles, or abstract circles of pastel colors appear around said
character, or both. Roses with exaggerated thorns appear when it is dangerous love.
No one knows why this is, though most have a theory: Anime characters are freaks! At
least, Marker Apenname seems to think so...
#100- Law of Anime Events- Much like wrestling, anything and everything can happen.
Created by Insane Advocate and his two friends. Aswell as various internet sources
A rock paper scissors rant
I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no freaking way Paper can beat Rock. Paper is supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? Why the heck cant paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college-ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that paper up in 2 seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my already clenched fist and say, "Oh shoot! I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you, dumbbutt.
Bored? Here's a short-term solution.
This is this cat. This is is cat. This is how cat. This is to cat. This is keep cat. This is an cat. This is idiot cat. This is busy cat. This is for cat. This is forty cat. This is seconds cat. Now go back and read the third word in each sentence from the top.
5 Adorable(ish) things done by kids
--The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: "Take only ONE . God is watching." Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."
--The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. "Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.' A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher, she's dead."
--One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head. She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?" Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white." The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, "Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"
--A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was. The girl replied, "I'm drawing God." The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like." Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, "They will in a minute."
--A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible. The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah". The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?" The little girl replied, "Then you ask him".
Girls are like Apples.
REMEMBER WHEN ..
WAS GROW UP?
How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
What disease did cured ham actually have?
How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?
Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?
Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
Why didn't Noah swat those last two mosquitoes?
You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?
Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
Why do we park in the driveway and drive on the park way?
Why are they called APARTments when they are all stuck together?
Why do psychics have to ask for your name?
The "Psychic Friends Network" went out of business, did they see it coming?
If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself is it considered a hostage situation?
Why is the word abbreviation so long?
Doesn't "expecting the unexpected" make the unexpected expected?
Do coffins have lifetime guarantees?
Wouldnt it be smart to make the sticky stuff on envelopes taste like chocolate?
If a turtle doesnt have a shell is he homeless or naked?
If you try to fail and succeed, which have you done?
If vegetarians eat vegetables what do humanitarians eat?
Why do kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge would they call it Fed UP?
Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?
Most mothers feed their babies with little spoons and forks. What do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?!
Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them?
If con is the opposite of pro, what's the opposite of progress?
Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?
If money doesn’t grow on trees then why do banks have branches?
If the day before Christmas is called Christmas Eve, is the day after Christmas Adam?
If there were a knowledge contest, would the female winner be called Miss Informed?
If a terminator is someone who kills, shouldn’t an exterminator be the opposite?
If there’s an exception to every rule, is there an exception to that rule?
If rabbits’ feet are so lucky, then what happened to the rabbit?
If anything’s possible, then is it possible that nothing’s possible?
If practice makes perfect, and nobody’s perfect, then why practice?
If a tree fell on a mime in the forest, would he make a sound and would anyone care?
If someone has a mid-life crisis while playing hide and seek, does he automatically lose because he can’t find himself?
If the cops arrest a mime, do they have to tell him he has the right to remain silent?
The following are stories about the idiots I have encountered in my life
In math class we were doing an algebra problem, and in one of the steps we had to multiply five and two. The student that was called upon to explain what to do for this step in pt problem said this:
I'm too lazy to write any more mini-stories right now. More to come.
Wow! If you actually read everything I am impressed! I don't even remember half of the stuff on here!