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Author has written 38 stories for Mass Effect, and Naruto.
If you are really interested in my current condition, you can check my site. Short version: don't expect anything big until late August, though smaller pieces may come out.
Current Status updates can always be found at logicalpremise dot org. If you don't see a story here it's not being worked on:
TWCD: In progress. (More updates soon...ish)
Ahern's Guide: working
No Single Raindrop: working
Cerb Files : Working on quarians
Naruto stuff: On Hold until late
More detailed information can be found at my own website -- logicalpremise dot org -- including additional artworks, forums, online chat, and much more rapid updates and special articles. There is no advertising or crap.
All of my documentation type stories are free for anyone to use as a resource. If there's something you'd like to use from OSABC or one of my one shots, just shoot me a PM.
MY HOMEPAGE, with UPDATES, ART, SNARK and NOTES, is at : logicalpremise dot org
About me :
I write stories about Mass Effect, and Naruto. I am otherwise utterly boring, but since people keep pestering me...
I'm in my 40's (ugh) and I live in Texas. I've gone through some traumatic events in life (divorce, suicides, wife dying, mother having multiple cancers, friends dying in war) that allows me to write about such things based on experience. I've studied biology, anatomy, cultural anthropology, psychology, geology, physics and chemistry, and I've dabbled in emergency medicine, transport, insurance, telecommunications and publishing. I hold degrees in psychology, management, and communications. I was in the Navy for four years and did my service in the Submarine Force.
I'm a non-denominational Christian who believes firmly that what you say is far less important than what you do, and the appropriate place for religion is in my heart and not splattered over a venue where people come for entertainment. That being said, please do not ask me to read things that are insulting to my religious beliefs.
I'm a black man, which is apparently unusual in fan fiction, as I've only run across a few others, and they're just as fucking crazy as I am.
I write to entertain my readers. I am a massive Melaradark, Aberron and jay8008 fanboy and if you don't read their works there is something wrong with your brain.
I am a cynic , a romantic, and a pessimist. Go figure. Murphy was an optimist.
I don't have a political affiliation, so please, do not PM me with such things. I do not care about Obama, or Trump. This is a fan fiction site!
My Favorite Authors and Muses
Each of these people inspired me to my works:
Jay8008, Melaradark, Setrus, Owelpost, Wordkrush, Aberron, Bebus, and the Naked Pen.
The Cast and Crew
My official idea-beta guy and chief editor is Liethr
The official copyeditor is SlotH4
My team of crazy co-authors are are Jacob, mrosera and Progman.
The Lord of Punctuation is nogoodnms
The guy who encourages me to make everything even more eeevil is NPC
The engineering peeps who fixes all the fiddly bits are Burnsidhe and ArielFetters
The Tonal Architect is my friend Quentin.
The Offical DLP Overseer is Himura
The Official Polandball Administrator is ZeroSumGame
My only approved fangirl is nimiraj12.
Aberron, Bebus, Hewhoislost, AlexN7, metaladdict, 5 Coloured Walker, Bea Winters, RED78910 and alienyouthct have also been very instrumental and are all both responsible for this trainwreck being somewhat readable and a source of many ideas.
The patrons saints of this entire work (and the two people who have encouraged me to keep going when I was about to quit) are Abyssal Shadows and Sherry E. Go PM them if I go missing for nine months again.
The official old grognard site for bitching and complaining about the work in a constructive manner is found at the Dark Lord Potter forums.
ART FOUND IN THE SERIES CAN BE FOUND HERE: logicalpremise dot org
logicalpremise dot deviantart dot com -- my DeviantArt account. Mostly crappy if done by me, but links to actually good art done by others.
Things I like: Romance, angst, humor, any two can serve. All three at once is hard to pull off right. My romances tend to be slower, more psychological, less sexually based. I've begun to like horror, as well.
Things I love: Snark, characters that are part of the environment, rich detailing, attention to the small things, and plot points that rear their heads chapters down the line. Oh, and conspiracies. I love me a conspiracy.
Things that can be good: minor OC's (always useful to flesh out story lines) and the like. An OC can be a major character as long as they aren't the focus of the story. Good battle scenes. Military jargon if you know what you're talking about.
Things I have never been able to like: Self inserts , mainly. I just can't see it. SI's that have LI's with the main characters are particularly grating. I'm sure some of the stories are probably way better than my drivel, but I can't enjoy it. I do not want to imply that they are bad, or that they are a sign of a bad writer. I just have never grasped the whole concept of an SI or made it work in suspending disbelief.
Things in Mass Effect I always wanted to change: Morinth, Grunt's relationship to Shepard, the whole Council-Shepard dynamic, Saren's doubts, Benezia's struggle, most of Shadow Broker, Miranda, Jacob, and Vega.
Things in Naruto I always wanted to change: Oh, god, where to start. Pretty much EVERYTHING in the Ten-Tails arc. Godtrees? REALLY? Kishamoto is insane.
Mass Effect Story I'm too scared to write: ME 1 , told entirely from Saren's point of view.
Naruto Story I'm too scared to write: What if Danzo was the good guy, despite his way of thinking? What if the alternatives were too horrible to contemplate?
Things I want to write a crackfic about: Ha, got over that fear. BEHOLD, TRADIUS AHERN, TROLL CHAMPION OF THE GALAXY!
Naruto Stories to write or that have been written:
I write a seriously screwed-up Naruto. He's still an idiot, but his idiocy is a front -- not so that he can fool his friends, but so that he doesn't have to answer the questions in his own head. Madara's Moon-Eye plan is a complete front to prevent the Ninja World from realizing his true goal .. if you have enough power to place the entire world in a genjutsu, you have enough power to pull off almost any other kind of jutsu as well. My Sakura is conflicted , my Hinata is weak and timid and very selfish, and lots of my stories involve conspiracies. Naruto grows up unhappy -- not assassinated, or poisoned, just ignored. Orochimaru is my favorite character.
All NARUTO STORIES ON HOLD FOR NOW - Sorry
Forgiveness Requires Regret : Still working on this one, it's basically how Naruto interacts with different people in the aftermath of the Pain fight, and why he is the way he is.
When Silence Becomes Sin: Minato isn't an idiot. He has enough sense to know why the Third wanted him to be Hokage. Thing is. . . he doesn't feel ready for the job, and a talk with Orochimaru sends things in an entirely new and chaotic direction. Massive AU, many, many changes. Semi-evil but not bwahaha evil Orochimaru. Haven't even decided where to go with this yet, but it will be bizarre!
Unexpected Results at the Journey's End: Trolling at its finest. Currently a one-shot, may add more trolling later.
The Consequences of Unyielding Will: Basically my total AU rewrite of Naruto, much in the same frame as OSABC is a rewrite of Mass Effect. Not even close to ready.
Mass Effect Stories to write or that have been written:
All of my ME stories have a female Shepard with an extremely violent, traumatic and scarring Earth background and history as the Butcher of Torfan. The primary mechanic is always Shepard and Garrus, although never romantically. Tali ends up in an emotionally messy relationship with Joker. Ash and Kaiden fall for each other and what happens at Virmire is made even worse. :D
The main focus is always on enduring pain for what must be done, for what is right, for what things should be. There is not a happy ending. If anything, my endings will be more messed up and controversial than the ME3 ones. The entire story is SEVERELY AU, with a focus on realistic reasons and filling plot holes.
The name is ridiculous for a reason: you'll always remember it.
Of Sheep and Battlechicken: My AU retelling of ME1, with a more dangerous, involved Cerberus, a more conflicted Saren and Benezia, treachery, more snark from the Turian councilor (complete with air quotes). The evolution of a dangerous renegade with zero personality and all the empathy of a car tire to a real person. Completed, but currently being overhauled.
OSABC: And Then There Were None: A linking piece between OSABC I and OSABC II. Covers the span of time between the games, expanding on Shepard’s character and tidying up the methods of her death while adding fluff, badassery, and Zaeed. Complete, but scheduled for an overhaul.
OSABC II : That Which Cannot Die: My AU retelling of the events in ME2, with a completely new take on Cerberus, the Shadow Broker, and collectors. More psychological and angst driven than the first. Not a happy ending, including portions of Overlord, LofSB and Arrival. In progress.
OSABC: Faith is a Scary Thing : Short linking piece between ME2 and ME3. Mostly focused on the political fallout of Shepard, Cerberus, and the Collector defeat, and some of the events of Arrival. Also mechano-Tazzik vs. Richard Williams. Being re-outlined due to changes in ATTWN and TWCD.
OSABC III : There is a Season: Highly AU retelling of ME3. Very significant deviations, and a complete rewrite of just about everything. Tries to keep match with the wild-ride feel of ME3, including a dual-claymore wielding Grunt and more meaningful interactions (or deaths) for lots of characters. Incorporates From Ashes as well. Also includes the real reason why the Reapers exist. 35% outlined.
Mass Effect One-shots and shorts to write or that have been written:
The Best Father a girl could wish for: Liara's meeting with Aethyta, start to finish, with some extra pieces (complete)
Mother's Tears : Grunt has his turn , a retelling of the fight against the Reaperized Rachni (complete)
No Single Raindrop: Liara, on the asari, love, life, and Shepard. In progress.
The Encyclopedia Biotica: My finest work, the only actual biotic document anywhere, that explains what biotics is and how it actually works and effects various races. In progress again, with the first expansion to biotics later on.
An Engineer's Guide to the Technology of the Mass Effect Universe: Yet more documentation, this time a guide to the tech. In progress!
The Cerberus Files: A total of five pieces, one about humanity, the others all about aliens. Constantly in progress. I may work on this from time to time, but do not expect regular updates, as each piece requires research.
Lions in Blue and Silver: The story of the "Legacy" team as mentioned in OSABC. In progress (very slow updates)
Memories Long Forgotten: Rael'Zorah has to complete his Pilgrimage, but gets caught up in a whirlwind of political intrigue, inter-species romance, murder, and a shadow war between a Terminus Warlord and the Shadow Broker. Prequel to OSAB, with cameos by Saren. (dead, lack of interest)
STG Investigative Reports: A series of reports on various big players in the Premiseverse. Updated irregularly. There is also now a whole series about the three main stories (Benezia Incident, Collector Incident, Crucible Incident) (Very slow updates)
Council Addenda: Internal Structure and Organization: A proposal by Seven Seven, a document covering the Citadel, C-SEC, the Ministry of Galactic Trade, Spectres, and the Citadel Fleet. Outlining is complete and three chapters are into second outlines. Maybe 2018? (Maybe not.)
Fear Unrelenting, Seen Darkly : My answer to what the Reaper Cycles are really about. What if the Reapers weren't the pinnacle of evolution? What if they were the hiding spots of a post singularity culture that tampered with things best left alone? A companion piece to the main story if you want to know more about the Reapers. (Completed)
Ahern's Guide to Things You Shouldn't be Fighting: an irreverant in-universe take on the original ideas for military forces I have, in story format in a series of communications (and flashbacks) between Tradius Ahern and Ivan Dragunov. A companion piece to the Cerberus Files. (In progress)
Things you should not read while drinking liquid:
Of Serendipity and Balance : 1000% pure crack. Ahern, Troll Champion of the Galaxy, must join forces with the Butcher Saren and the Pyro, Balak, to fight Aethyta Queen of Omega, a brain damaged Harbinger, and the true evil mastermind of the series...Herr Doktor Vernor, dark billionaire and playboy extraordinaire. Also includes Hot Librarian Benezia, Michael Saracino as Ambadassador (not a typo), Mordin and Zaeed in Broadway, and Vigil and Javik as a tag-troll-team to drive Ahern crazy. Includes low-sanity excerpts of the Editing Gang. Not for the faint of heart. (Sanity is for the WEAK!)
THINGS I CANNOT ENJOY OR LIKE IN ANY FICTION (Personal Opinions)
THINGS I HAVE COME TO STRONGLY DISLIKE IN NARUTO STORIES: (Personal Opinions)
THINGS I HAVE COME TO STRONGLY DISLIKE IN MASS EFFECT STORIES: (Personal Opinions)