Author has written 6 stories for Maximum Ride, Percy Jackson and the Olympians, Twilight, Mortal Instruments, and Assassin's Creed.
I was previously called Booklover526, and I Am The Wind. However, I didn't really find the former unique enough, and I changed the second to match my tumblr.
Thus all the changes.
Hello, mortals. My real name shall not be disclosed, for it is so awesome and amazing that it will blow your pathetic, mortal minds. But I digress.
Read it an' sob. Or laugh, actually.
AltairxMalik- There's just something really, really cute about the idea of them together. Although they won't be able to have children together and continue the line of handsome, gorgeous creatures...
KadarxClaudiaAuditore- Keep the dream alive, dammit. Keep the dream aliiive...Kadar lives and becomes immortal by touching the Apple, Ubisoft! He doesn't die!...I fell in love with Kadar through the fandom. I still can't believe that they offed him. Not fair, I say. Just. Not. Fair.
AnnabethxPercy- Hello. They're adorable. And so obviously in love.
HermionexTheodoreNott- Theodore is barely mentioned, so you can play around with his character a lot. Lots of room for personal changes and whatnot. And RonxHermione? Very, very cliche. But I love Rose and Hugo, so...
GinnyxBlaise- Okay, HarryxGinny is also adorable, and I like them...But it's just that they're so perfectly cliche! I mean, really? It's just so obvious. Speaking of HarryxGinny, if you really like them but are looking for something new to read, there's one called 'Need', by iluvfanfics1. It's really, really good.
KataraxZuko- Sometimes I hate the moron who came up with, "Let's pull the obvious and put the avatar and the cute waterbender he has a massive crush on together!" How about some not-violence related drama? Come on, people! Just put Mai in an arranged marriage with some noble or make her fall out of love with Zuko!
DarcyxLoki- They're cute and original. I like 'em.
SethxAny good OC who isn't ridiculously perfect or has a painfully tragic past. 'Cause Seth needs some imprint love. (Not necessarily imprint, but just...love that isn't wild, sexy slash. Not that I have anything against that, but it's getting old. Really, guys, Jake imprints on Nessie. NOT SETH CLEARWATER.
NicoxWill- from the Percy Jackson series. The most adorable couple known to mankind.
Bellarke- I ship it soooo hard. Clarke and Bellamy forever.
AlistairxMorrigan- Just because all the constant fighting makes me think of ridiculously oppressed sexual tension.
IsabelaxFenris- Because the broody elf and the sarcastic, sexy pirate would be absolutely adorable together.
I live for fun, for hilarity, and for crack fics. Those are the best. If you're into Avatar: The Last Airbender, check out Rashaka. She/He (?) is amazing and has some really good fanfics out there.
LOL. For those idiots who don't know what it means, just laugh out loud.
I run with scissors, it makes me feel dangerous.
An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed.
Join the dark side. We have cookies!
I'm not insensitive. I just don't care.
The only reason I'm here is because heaven wouldn't have me and hell was afraid I'd take over.
A good girl is just a bad girl who's never gotten caught.
Taste the rainbow - Eat CRAYONS!
History lesson: the dinosaurs didn't go extinct, Barney came and they all committed suicide.
Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself: where the heck is my ceiling?
He who laughs last thinks slowest.
When everything's coming your way, you're on the wrong side of the road.
Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
A secret admirier is only a stalker with stationary.
If you don't like my driving then stay off the sidewalk!
If you are reading this then step 1 of my EVIL PLAN is complete.
You say physco like it's a bad thing...
Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.
I find 'good morning' a contradiction of terms.
If you can't convince 'em, confuse 'em.
Hell issued a restraining order on me...oh the fun to be had!
You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.
What you call stupidity, I call selective understanding.
If you're color blind, eating sweets must be a completely different experience. "Come on starbursts, give me red!... LEMON, DAMNIT!"
I'm not so good with the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?
Love your enemies. It pisses them off.
The voices in my head may not be real but they still have pretty good ideas...
Oops! Did my sarcasm hurt your feelings?
If two wrongs don't make a right, try three.
One day we'll look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject.
Embrace the inner rebel - don't sit up straight.
You're awesome... but when the zombies come, I'm tripping you.
I don't obsess! I think intensely!
Smile; it makes people wonder what you're up to.
When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep - not screaming, like the passengers in his car.
Whoever said nothing was impossible never tried to slam a revolving door.
If you have ever stayed up past 2 in the morning reading, copy and paste this on your profile.
If random songs pop into your head for no apparent reason, copy and paste this on your profile.
If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects copy this into your profile.
If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile.
If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fan fictions, copy and paste this to your profile.
If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this to your profile.
If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this to your profile.
If you realize that copying and pasting things into your profile is pointless, yet you do it anyways, copy and paste this to your profile.
The one who smiles when all goes wrong has thought of someone to blame.
Most people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them. (So true. I know I'm not the only one who has someone in mind when they read this.)
My imaginary friend doesn't like you either.
A day without sunshine is like...night.
Don't knock at Death's door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that.
Do people in England sit around and try to sound like Americans, like we try and have British accents?
Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult.
BEST FRIENDS AND FRIENDS
FRIENDS: Will help me find my way when I'm lost BEST FRIENDS: Will be the one messing with my compass, stealing my map and giving me bad directions
FRIENDS: Will help me learn to drive BEST FRIENDS: Will help me roll the car into the lake so I can collect insurance
FRIENDS: Will watch my pets when I go away BEST FRIENDS: Won't let me go away
FRIENDS: Will help me up when I fall down BEST FRIENDS: Will point and laugh because she tripped me
FRIENDS: Will go to a concert with me BEST FRIENDS: Will kidnap the band with me
FRIENDS: Ask me for my number BEST FRIENDS: Ask me for her number
FRIENDS: Hide me from the cops BEST FRIENDS: are probably the reason they're after me in the first place
FRIENDS: let me make an idiot of myself in public BEST FRIENDS: are up there with me making an idiot out of themselves too.
FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink. BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.
FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry. BEST FRIENDS: Wont tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore.
FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back. BEST FRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."
FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you. BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...
FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door. BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."
FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone. BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.
FRIENDS: Are only through highschool/college. (aka: drinking buddies) BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.
I got fired from the M&M factory for throwing away all the W's.
A true idiot climbs a glass wall to see what's on the other side.
You say I'm not cool. But cool is just another word for cold. So if I'm not cold, I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.
Guns don't kill people. People kill people.
A stranger stabs you in the front; a friend stabs you in the back; a boyfriend/girlfriend stabs you in the heart, but best friends only poke each other with straws.
I used all my sick days so I called in dead.
Life isn't trying to pass me by; it's trying to run me over!
Your weirdness is creeping my imaginary friend out.
If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving isn't for you!
If you're going to be two-faced, sweetie, at least make one of them pretty!
Welcome to the dark side. We have cookies! Of, that red stuff leaking out of them?...That's cooking oil.
An idiot is a window washer on the 44th floor who steps back to admire their work.
Flying is simple. Just throw yourself at the ground and miss!
Newscasters are the people who tell you "Good evening" and then proceed to tell you why it's not.
Two things are infinite; infinity, and human stupidity. Not so sure about infinity...
If your heart was really broken, you'd be dead. So SHUT UP!
Warning: trespassers will be shot. Survivors will be shot again.
If the world didn't suck we'd all fall off.
Stop the violence...OR I'LL KILL YOU!
I like you. When I rule the world your death will be quick and painless.
If someone told most people they were weird, most people would disagree. I would ask what their first clue was.
Some of my current goals in life are to attend Hogwarts, rule Narnia, and be claimed by a Greek god.
Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.
You laugh because I'm different. I laugh because you're all the same.
Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid.
There's always a light at the end of the tunnel. Of course, it's usually an oncoming express train.
There are three kinds of people. Those who learn by reading, a few who learn by observation, and the rest who have to test the electric fence for themselves.
I didn't mean to hurt your feelings...I was aiming for your face.
I hear your silence loud and clear.
Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film.
I used to have superpowers, but then my therapist took them away.
Always take the time to smell the roses...and sooner or later you'll inhale a bee.
Accept that some days you are the pigeon, and some days you are the statue.
Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life. (However long that may be.)
Why do today what you could put off till tomorrow?
Education is important, school however, is another matter.
I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse.
There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.
"We live in an age where pizza gets to your house before the police do."
Whose cruel idea was it for the word "Lisp" to have a "S" in it?
You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.
If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?
If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.
Life's Tough, get a helmet.
Isn't it scary that doctors call what they do "practice"?
It takes 47 muscles to frown, 17 to smile but it doesn't take any to sit there with a dumb look on your face.
A recent survey stated that the average person's greatest fear is having to give a speech in public. Somehow this ranked even higher than death which was third on the list. So, you're telling me that at a funeral, most people would rather be the guy in the coffin than have to stand up and give a eulogy.
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
If you only break for falling Jedi Masters, I congratulate you.
Invade and dominate Wonka Factory and become a Sith Chocolateer today!
Have you ever noticed that if you rearranged the letters in mother in law, they come out to Woman Hitler?
When it rains on my party, I bust out the slip n' slide.
Why do all superheroes wear spandex? Do they provide more lift or something?
Well the voices and I took a vote. It's unanimous: You suck.
A rabbi, a priest, and a duck walked into a bar. The bartender looked up and said, "What is this? A joke?"
A rejected invention: Instant water! Just add water!
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
Just say no to drugs. Because if your drugs are talking to you, you've probably had too many.
I've you've never imagined yourself killing off a fictional character so you could have her boyfriend, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you're a girl who's tired of people assuming that just because you're a girl you love pink and can't fight to save your life, put this into your profile.
Why do they use sterilized needles for lethal injections?
Why do bankruptcy lawyers expect to be paid?
The cops never find it as funny as you do.
There are friends... and there's BEST FRIENDS
FRIENDS: Will comfort you when he rejects you.
BEST FRIENDS: Will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"
FRIENDS: Will be there for you when he breaks up with you.
BEST FRIENDS: Will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..."
FRIENDS: Helps you up when you fall.
BEST FRIENDS: Keeps on walking saying, "Walk much, dumb ass?"
FRIENDS: Helps you find your prince.
BEST FRIENDS: Kidnaps him and brings him to you.
FRIENDS: Will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month.
BEST FRIENDS: Will throw you a tampon and push you in.
FRIENDS: Will help you move.
BEST FRIENDS: Will help you move the bodies.
I have the kind of friends that if my house was burning down, they'd be there making S'mores and hitting on hot firemen.
When every little girl in kindergarten wanted to be a princess, I kinda wanted to be a vampire.
Friends ask why you're crying...Best friends already have the shovel ready to bury the ass that made you cry.
A good friend helps you up when you fall. A best friend laughs at you and trips you again.
You and I are Friends: You smile, I smile. You hurt, I hurt. You jump off a bridge, well, I'm gonna miss your emails.
He said, 'I don't know why you wear a bra. You've got nothing to put in it.' Then she said, 'Well, you wear pants, don't you?'
I'm smiling. That alone should scare you.
Too often we lose sight of life's simple pleasures. Remember, when someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles in your face to frown, BUT, it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and bitch-slap that mother@#?!&! upside the head. Pass it on.
What if the hokey-pokey really is what it's all about?
I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no fucking way Paper can beat Rock. Paper is supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? Why the hell can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating student as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that shit up in 2 seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my already clenched fist and say, oh shit, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you, you asshole.
19 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity
1. At Lunch Time , Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.
2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.
3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that.
4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label it " In".
5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.
6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks , Write "For Smuggling Diamonds".
7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy".
8. Don't use any punctuation.
9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.
10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.
11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go".
12. Sing Along At The Opera.
13. Go To A Poetry Recital. And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme.
14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area and Play tropical Sounds All Day.
15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not In the Mood.
16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom.
17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won! I Won!"
18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking lot, Yelling "Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!"
19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, "Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go."
“Evil beware. We have waffles.”-Raven, Teen Titans
“Therapy is expensive, popping bubble wrap is cheap. You choose.”-Anonymous
“A clear conscience is usually a sign of bad memory.”-Anonymous
“Men are 44 percent muscle, 53 percent fat and 3 percent brain. This explains a lot of things.”- Anonymous
"I think that one possible definition of our modern culture is that it is one in which nine-tenths of our intellectuals can't read any poetry." -Randall Jarrell
"Books are the carriers of civilization. Without books, history is silent, literature dumb, science crippled, thought and speculation at a standstill. I think that there is nothing, not even crime, more opposed to poetry, to philosophy, ay, to life itself than this incessant business." -Henry David Thoreau
"One of the most obvious facts about grownups to a child is that they have forgotten what it is like to be a child." Randall Jarrell
"When I step into this library, I cannot understand why I ever step out of it." -Marie de Sevigne
"Rock and roll is the hamburger that ate the world." -Peter York
"Literature is an occupation in which you have to keep proving your talent to people who have none." -Jules Renard
"You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus." -Mark Twain
"I have not lost my mind - it's backed up on disk somewhere." -Unknown
"Turns out if you never lie, there's always someone mad at you." -Scott Westerfeld
"To read a book for the first time is to make the acquaintance of a new friend; to read it a second time is to meet an old one." -Selwyn Champion
"I'm not short. I just live in a big world." -Edward Elric, Full Metal Alchemist
"I'm a damsel; I'm in distress; I can handle this. Have a nice day." -Megura, Hercules
"I believe in dragons, unicorns, good men and other mythical creatures." -Anonymous
"You talk to God, you're religious. God talks to you, you're psychotic." -Doris Egan
"Me? I'm dishonest, and with a dishonest man, you can always trust him to be dishonest. Honestly, it's the honest ones you have to watch out for because you never know when he's going to turn around and do something incredibly...stupid." -Jack Sparrow, PotC
"Happily ever after. Well, that's boring as all fuck, now innit? Yeah, let's not ever go that route, hm?" -Alice o'Hearts
"Ah, yes, divorce. From the Latin word meaning to rip out a man’s genitals through his wallet." -Robin Williams
"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch." -Jack Nicholson
"You are here to learn the subtle science and exact art of potionmaking. I don't expect you will really understand the beauty of the softly simmering cauldron with its shimmering fumes, the delicate power of liquids that creep through human veins, bewitching the mind, ensnaring the senses ... I can teach you how to bottle fame, brew glory, even stopper death -- if you aren't as big a bunch of dunderheads as I usually have to teach." -Potion Master Severus Snape, Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone
"If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?" -Stephen Wright
"Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes." -Jack Handey
"Let's face it, this is not the worst thing you've caught me doing." -Tony Stark, Iron Man
"Sometimes when I feel like killing someone, I do a little trick to calm myself down. I'll go over to the person's house and ring the doorbell. When the person comes to the door, I'm gone, but you know what I've left on the porch? A jack-o-lantern with a knife stuck in the side of its head with a note that says 'You.' After that I usually feel a lot better, and no harm done." -Jack Handy
"Live long and prosper." -Spock, Star Trek. 'Prosper' my ass. No prospering here.
“The very existence of flame-throwers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done.” -George Carlin
"Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for I'm the baddest motherfucker in the valley." -Eugene Small
"Nothing is true. Everything is permitted."-Altair Ibn La-Ahad, Assassin's Creed
"None of you understand. I'm not locked up in here with you. You're locked up in here with me." Rorschach, Watchmen
Maria: "You should find an outlet."
"Ah..good old subject 16. He re-painted my room, you know...IN HIS BLOOD!" -Desmond Miles, Assassin's Creed II
"Rest, prepare, cry in the corner...whatever you do before a mission, only do it quietly."-Malik Al-Sayf, Assassins Creed
"...Said crusaders are rather bewilderingly quick to mark you for death though. Part of that might be your fault for having an arsenal of knifes and a huge neon sign saying "I'm assassin" strapped to your back." -Ben 'Yahtzee' Croshaw,Zero Punctuation Reviews Assassin's Creed
"Assassinations are a tiny percentage of the gaming experience. But I guess 'Faffing About Creed' doesn't have the same ring to it." -Ben 'Yahtzee' Croshaw, Zero Punctuation Reviews Assassin's Creed
"At the bottom, you see, we are not Homo-sapiens at all. Our core is madness. The prime directive is murder. What Darwin was too polite to say, my friends, is that we came to rule the earth not because we were the smartest, or even the meanest, but because we have always been the craziest, most murderous motherfuckers in the jungle." -Stephen King
"Kurama, don't make me rip out your precious voice-box." -Hiei, Yu Yu Hakusho
"Why do I get the feeling that one day I'll be describing this to a psychiatrist?" -Lisa, The Simpsons
"Lord . . . what the hell am I doing here?" -Wolfwood, Trigun
"I'll turn him into a flea...a harmless little flea. Then, I'll put that flea in a box, then I'll put that box inside of another box, and then I'll mail that box to myself and when it arrives...AHAHAHA! I'LL SMASH IT WITH A HAMMER! IT'S BRILLIANT, BRILLIANT, BRILLIANT I TELL YOU! GENIUS I SAY!" -Eizma, The Emperors New Groove
"If you wish to taste the ground feel free to attack me." -Kenshin, Rurouni Kenshin
"Anyone who sees me has got a date with his maker!" -Duo Maxwell, Gundam Wing
"There's no way... I'll lose... To a coward who's always whining about destiny." -Naruto, Naruto
"I will never let my comrades die!" -Kakashi, Naruto
"I'm risking my life for this weirdo?" Terazuma, Yami no Matsuei/Descendents of Darkness
"The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is not 'Eureka!' (I found it!) but 'That's funny ...'" -Isaac Asimov
"God wants spiritual fruit, not religious nuts." -Unknown
"Raising a teenager is like nailing jello to a tree." -A warning to all who have children
"Christianity : The belief that some cosmic Jewish Zombie can make you live forever if you symbolically eat his flesh and telepathically tell him that you accept him as your master, so he can remove an evil force from your soul that is present in humanity because a rib-woman was convinced by a talking snake to eat from a magical tree. Makes perfect sense." -Christopher Hitchens
[I am actually a Christian, and I find this completely hilarious. Is this really how some people see it? *Giggles]
"A woman is like a teabag; you never know how strong she is until she's in hot water. -Eleanor Roosevelt
If the whole world depends on today's youth, I can't see the world lasting another 100 years. -Socrates
If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to. -Dorothy Parker
Futue te ipsum et caballum tuum. -- Screw you and the horse you rode in on. -Anonymous
You can't make a person love you...you can only stalk them and hope for the best. -Anonymous
Maturity is knowing that just because someone disagrees with you doesn't mean he's a horse's ass. -Harry S Truman
Yes, risk-taking is inherently failure-prone. Otherwise, it would be called sure-thing-taking. -Tim McMahon
All reports are in. Life is now officially unfair. -Anonymous
"Did I do anything wrong today, or has the world always been like this and I've been too wrapped up in myself to notice?" –Douglas Adams
May God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change
The courage to change the things that I can,
And the wisdom to hide the bodies of those people that I killed because they pissed me off.