Beyonceismyspiritanimal
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Joined 04-12-12, id: 3910419, Profile Updated: 03-22-15
Author has written 1 story for Twilight.

Congratulations.

You clicked on my profile (in which I list a bunch of pointless, dumb facts about myself).

Good for you.

Random facts:

I like pina coladas and getting caught in the rain.

If you don't like peanut butter we can't be friends.

I have no tattoos. Not yet anyway.

I'm female. Durh.

I like tea. A LOT. Like a lot A LOT.

I'm Canadian and no, I have never said "eh" in my entire life and I don't live in an igloo. Also I don't have a pet penguin. Not legally anyway.

I'm in college, taking fashion and marketing, degrees that would be totally useless in the event of an apocalypse.

Random quote, "If you ain't first you're last."

Another random quote; "Either that wallpaper goes or I do."

And another random quote; "You go Glen Coco."

Authors I like: Sylvia Plath, George RR Martin, Daniel Woodrell

Things I like in novels/short stories/fan fiction: flawed characters, dark details, anti-heroes, dry/dark humor, slow relationship building, unconventional heroines, villains as heroes, believable characters, amazing, poetic descriptions without becoming purple prose, when you actually find yourself feeling afraid for the character instead of just sitting there like, yeah, I KNOW you're gonna get out of this okay 'cause the author is too afraid to kill any of you off for fear of losing readers

Things I don't like in novels/short stories/fan fiction:

-the heroine that is OMG so good with guns/knives/swords and is OMG so attractive and so special and spunky that she isn't afraid of anything/ALWAYS has a witty comeback (bitch, please)
-cocky male characters who treat women like shit except the heroine because apparently she's the most special snowflake that ever specialed and that's okay because he's, like, so hot,
-mary sues
-slut shaming (if girls call each other sluts and skanks it just makes it okay for guys to do it too)
-pointless relationship drama (okay so you're in a post-apocalyptic word, struggling against the odds to survive and you STILL somehow manage to be all angsty because god forbid the hero isn't paying attention to you for all of five minutes)
-immature/unresearched/unsympathetic/glamorized handling of rape/drugs/abuse/teen pregnancy/alcoholism/sex/bullying. FACT: abuse can be a little more subtle than the guy hitting the girl/calling her names etc. Also not all abusers are alcoholics (which seems to be a common theme in YA). Also teen pregnancy...stop glamorizing it!!!
-insta love (don't even get me started on Stephanie Meyer's imprinting). It's just lazy writing.
-portraying stalking/controlling as a sign of "love"
-constant brand dropping
-pointless details (I seriously do not care what the main characters step-by-step make-up routine is, or that she's using only Maybelline products or what she's wearing all the time)
-cliches (i.e. you like clubbing/partying/smoking/drinking/sex so that automatically makes you an out of control alcoholic/drug addict/whore/all around bad ass rebel etc)
-when the main character is clumsy (indication that the author couldn't write a character with enough depth to have real flaws)
-drop dead gorgeous heroes (I don't care if you look like Adonis. If you have the personality of a pickle I'm not going to like you regardless of your six pack or your smoldering green eyes. FACT: only three percent of the population have green eyes yet there seem to be an alarming amount of hot guys in YA fiction who have this type of eye color).

A Certain Darkness reviews
Former street walker Bella is taken in by two mysterious women in London. But in one of the upstairs bedrooms of their dilapidated house they harbor a dark secrete...
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Supernatural/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 998 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 3 - Published: 1/28