Author has written 1 story for Twilight.
Hey call me Diablo if your Spanish or know Spanish I'm called that due to my temper ;-)
I love Werewolves then Vampires!!!!
My Favourite Things:
Colours: I only have favourite combos so Black/Pink/Purple Green/Silver go Slytherin!! and Red/Gold yes Gryffindor!!
Music: Umm . . . i dont really have a type of music that i listen to i dont like Classic or just Music has to have lyrics sooo yeah.
Singers: Ok i like Biebers songs just not his personality soo Avril Lavigne, Adam Lambert, P!nk, Old Miley Cyrus, Bruno Mars, Adele, Katy Perry, Ellie Goulding cant really think of anymore of the top of my head.
Bands: Queen definately literally been listening to it my whole life The Black Eyed Peas love them have to listen to atleast one of their songs a day lol Green Day, Black Veil Brides, Jonas Brothers, Linkin Park yeah Transformers!!
Songs: What the Hell by Avril Lavigne, Welcome to My Life by Linkin Park, Play my Music by Jonas Brothers, So What by P!nk, Where is the Love by The Blach Eyed Peas
TV Shows: Ok ok so you have to love Teen Wolf and Moondays!!!! Sort of gone off The Vampire Diaries since Elena has tamed Damon. The Originals thats interesting I love the Mikaelson family. I watch The Tomorrow People, The 100, Arrow Wolfblood and The Dumping Ground but Im mostly concentrating on Teen Wolf
Movies: Now we're talking ok so Harry Potter definately i can honestly say my life so far would be really boring with out it the same with Fast & Fuirious love them. Avengers and X-Men actually Marvel in general especially Transformers!!!!! Narnia love Lucy and Aslan! St. Trinians very inspirational and dont we all wish it was our school. Twilight for Jacob and the pack.
Umm tis is all i could think of at the moment Ill ad more eventually
25 Fun Things To Do At A Movie Theater
1. Hum the theme song of the movie out loud.
2. Make finger puppets in front of the projector.
3.When gunshots ring out in the movie yell, "Bang! Bang!"
4. Stick a piece of popcorn to the end of your straw and shoot it 6 rows ahead of you. (Works even better with un-popped kernels and Juji fruits.)
5. Use a whoopee cushion. ('Nuff said.)
6. Wear a top hat, a big one.
7. Throw popcorn in the air and yell, "It's snowing!"
8. Go, "Ewwwwwwwwwwww!" And then giggle like a bunch of little girls loudly during the kissing scenes.
9. Clap and cheer when the good guy gets killed.
10. Make a noise like your passing gas and say, "Ahh…"
11. Start wheezing and ask the person next to you if you can have some Juji Fruits for your asthma.
12. During the previews, yell, "Can you fast forward it?"
13. When the bad guy is about to do something devious, yell at the top of your lungs, "Watch out!"
14. Laugh very loudly at all the corny jokes.
15. Tell the man selling popcorn that the girl's bathroom is flooding.
16. If you've seen the movie before, at the climax, yell out what happens next.
17. Tell the man next to you that you have diarrhea and wink. ;)
18. wear a cape and when it's your turn to get popcorn yell, "I'm Batman! Ha! Ha!" and run away.
19. Yell, "FIRE!!!" and moon the people coming through the exit.
20. Gently, very softly, place a single kernel of popcorn on the head of the man in front of you.
21. Say that this person can't sit next to you because your invisible friend is sitting there.
22. Scream out, "Hey, this isn't Bambi!"
23. Stare at the person sitting across the aisle from you, then quickly look back at the screen when they look at you. Then, when they turn away, stare again.
24. See if you can get a Juji fruit to stick on the screen.
25. Find an old man or someone, casually walk over by him, then stare him down, for about a minute. Then sigh loudly, sit behind him, then put a fart machine under his seat. Complain about how uncomfortable that seat was, and how you couldn't see over his head, and then walk back to your old seat. Press the button, over, and over, and over. Laugh and point at him whenever you press the button, have someone start a stopwatch when you get back to your seat, and see how long he stays in the theater. (You can also put the fart machine under an empty chair a few rows back from someone, and then sit on the other side of the theater. See their reaction as they look back and see an empty seat.)
25 Fun Things To Do At McDonald’s
1. Sit in a corner and pretend like you’re making out with yourself. (This works even better when 2 people are doing it separately.)
2. Pay entirely in pennies.
3. Tell them you require three copies of the receipt for filing reasons.
4. Order a shake, and tell them you want bacon with it. If they say no, complain loudly for others to hear, and scream out, "I guess you really don't wana see me smile do you, because right now I don't exactly feel like smiling in light of the extenuating circumstances!"
5. Ask to see the manager, then complain to him about all of life’s problems. If they don’t let you talk to the manager, walk out muttering, “You're gonna be reading about this in the papers.”
6. While you’re in line, jump up and down like you’re having a spazz attack and scream repeatedly, “YO QUIERO TACO BELL!”
7. Sell White Castle food in the restrooms. Then when people get food poisoning you can blame it on McDonald’s.
8. Walk in wearing a Burger King hat. (Great when 3 or 4 people do this at the same time.)
9. Bring in a fart machine and keep setting it off, meanwhile making comments like, “Man, I knew I shouldn’t have eaten here.”
10. Return your food and tell them you’re allergic to nuclear waste mixed with gasoline byproducts.
11. Bring in a video camera and tell them they’re live on 20/20. (You should see the looks on their faces!)
12. Stand on a table with a megaphone and whenever somebody complains say, “This isn’t Burger King, you can’t have it your way.”
13. Flood the soda fountain machine. (It’s more interesting than flooding toilets.)
14. Walk to the drive-thru window and order. (If you really wanna tick ‘em off, skateboard.)
15. Take about 30 or so straws and blow all the wrappers at people. If anyone gives you a look, act a bit too innocent.
16. Speak gibberish, and act confused when they try to tell you that they don’t know how to speak gibberish too.
17. Chuck something at one of the employees. (I bet you five bucks they chuck it back.)
18. Chuck Skittles, M&Ms, or other small candy back into the cooking area.
19. Take two bites out of your burger, then tell the employee it’s cold and ask for a new one. Then repeat. And repeat. And repeat.”
20. Act like a schizo while you’re ordering. (“I’ll have a cheeseburger.” “No, chicken nuggets!” “Cheeseburger!”) Slap yourself to make it look convincing.
21. Climb on top the Play Place. When they tell you to come down, fall off and pretend your hurt, then threaten to sue.
22. When it’s your turn to order, start a conversation with the employee. Ask them how was their day, etc. When someone gets ticked and calls for the manager, scram, or start a conversation with him too.
23. Try to stuff your coins sideways into the charity box. Then when they don’t fit, start complaining loudly about how McDonald’s is so greedy and how they’re ripping off their charities. (Act really outraged about it.)
24. Try to bribe an employee for cheaper food. If they give in, call the manager. (Keep any food they gave you, though.)
25. Walk in and go sit down in a seat, then grab the little table advertisement thingy, (you know what I'm talking about, the triangular thingy by the salt and pepper, yeah that.) Well look at it turning it over and over and then say defiantly, "I know what I'm going to order, I'm ready!" After about five minutes, scream out, "Waiter!" Then after about five more minutes get up, and stomp out of the restaurant with the advertisement thingy. Then turn arround, come back in, and throw the advertisement thingy at the cashier and yell, "Your service sucks! You just lost yourself a customer, you hear that! A customer! Your not gonna see me smile!"
50 things to do in school
1. Smoke a pipe and respond to each point the professor makes by waving it and
2. Wear X-Ray Specs. Every few minutes, ask the professor to focus the
3. Sit in the front row and spend the lecture filing your teeth into sharp points
4. Sit in the front and color in your textbook.
5. When the professor calls your name in roll, respond “that’s my name, don’t
6. Introduce yourself to the class as the “master of the pan flute”.
7. Give the professor a copy of The Watchtower. Ask him where his soul would
8. Wear earmuffs. Every few minutes, ask the professor to speak louder.
9. Leave permanent markers by the dry-erase board.
10. Squint thoughtfully while giving the professor strange looks. In the middle
11. Ask whether the first chapter will be on the test. If the professor says no, rip
12. Become entranced with your first physics lecture, and declare your intention
13. Sing your questions.
14. Speak only in rhymes and hum the Underdog theme.
15. When the professor calls roll, after each name scream “THAT’S MEEEEE!
17. Page through the textbook scratching each picture and sniffing it.
18. Wear your pajamas. Pretend not to notice that you’ve done so.
19. Hold up a piece of paper that says in large letters “CHECK YOUR FLY”.
20. Inform the class that you are Belgian royalty, and have a friend bang
21. Stare continually at the professor’s crotch. Occassionally lick your lips.
22. Address the professor as “your excellency”.
23. Sit in the front, sniff suspiciously, and ask the professor if he’s been
24. Shout “WOW!” after every sentence of the lecture.
25. Bring a mirror and spend the lecture writing Bible verses on your face.
26. Ask whether you have to come to class.
27. Present the professor with a large fruit basket.
28. Bring a “seeing eye rooster” to class.
29. Feign an unintelligible accent and repeatedly ask, “Vet ozzle haffen dee
30. Relive your Junior High days by leaving chalk stuffed in the chalkboard
31. Watch the professor through binoculars.
32. Start a “wave” in a large lecture hall.
33. Ask to introduce your “invisible friend” in the empty seat beside you, and
34. When the professor turns on his laser pointer, scream “AAAGH! MY
35. Correct the professor at least ten times on the pronunciation of your name,
36. Sit in the front row reading the professor’s graduate thesis and snickering.
37. As soon as the first bell rings, volunteer to put a problem on the board.
38. Claim that you wrote the class text book.
39. Claim to be the teaching assistant. If the real one objects, jump up and
40. Spend the lecture blowing kisses to other students.
41. Every few minutes, take a sheet of notebook paper, write “Signup Sheet #5″
42. Stand to ask questions. Bow deeply before taking your seat after the
43. Wear a cape with a big S on it. Inform classmates that the S stands for “stud”.
44. Interrupt every few minutes to ask the professor, “Can you spell that?”
45. Disassemble your pen. “Accidently” propel pieces across the room while
46. Wink at the professor every few minutes.
47. In the middle of lecture, ask your professor whether he believes in ghosts.
48. Laugh heartily at everything the professor says. Snort when you laugh.
49. Wear a black hooded cloak to class and ring a bell.
50. Ask your math professor to pull the roll chart above the blackboard of
Annoying things to do on an elevator
1) CRACK open your briefcase or handbag, peer inside and ask "Got enough air in there?"
2) STAND silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.
3) WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, and then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.
4) GREET everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.
5) MEOW occasionally.
6) STARE at another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM" - and back away slowly
7) SAY -DING at each floor.
8) SAY "I wonder what all these do?" And push all the red buttons.
9) MAKE explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
10) STARE, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on."
11) WHEN the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"
12) TRY to make personal calls on the emergency phone.
13) DRAW a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space."
14) WHEN there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.
15) PUSH the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.
16) ASK if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.
17) HOLD the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?"
18) DROP a pen and wail until someone reaches to help pick it up, and then scream: "That's mine!"
19) BRING a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.
20) PRETEND you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the Passengers.
21) SWAT at flies that don't exist.
22) CALL out "Group hug" then enforce it
23) Call a Psychic Hotline and ask what floor you’re on
24) Move your desk into the elevator and whenever anyone gets on ask if they have an appointment.
25) Lay down the twister mat and ask if they want to play.
26) Ask "Did you feel that?"
27) Stand really close to someone and sniff them occasionally.
28) Tell people you can see there aura.
29) Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to other passengers.
30) Listen to the walls with your stethoscope.
31) Put police tape in front of the door before entering.
32) Fart loudly when there is only another person the lift part from you and argue vehemently that it wasnt you.
33) Hold an auction.
34) Do the “potty dance" all the way to the elevator door. Upon arrival sigh and look greatly relieved.
35) Ask ever passenger if you can burrow a tampon. Especially effective if victim is male. Even more effective if you yourself are male.
36) Throw a wave.
37) Place potted plant and water fountains at strategic locations in the lift. When people ask you what your doing tell them you " wont ride an elevator that’s not fung shwei."
38) When you brush past someone whisper "Was it good for you too?"
39) Lean over to another rider and whisper "Noogie patrol coming!"
40) Have a heated debate with yourself.
41) Bring a melon onto the elevator. Try to sell it to the passengers.
42) Drum on every available surface.
43) Write a big X on the elevator floor and hand out pirate maps to everyone as they enter.
44) Stroke your chin and ask the other passengers about their mothers.
45) Greet everyone as if they were your best friend. Use the same name for everyone.
46) Say ring ring then pull out a banana and start talking into it.
47) Propose to other passengers.
48) Challenge other people to a duel.
49) Come on looking really scared and say to another passenger "This is my first time flying.
50) Any time someone enters the doors recoil in horror
51) Stick your tongue out like a cigarette and ask someone for a light.
52) Pitch a tent out on the floor and camp out for the weekend
53) Play I’ve got your nose with the other passenger.
54) Shout food fight!
55) Every time someone talks shout some people are trying to sleep here.
56) Lick one of the buttons and say I’m sick and tired of people stealing your food once your backs turned.
57) Do river dance.
58) Bring a snowboard onto the elevator. Put it on every time the lift goes up or down shout woo yeah this is what i call sick air!
59) Make sushi,
60) Press your nose against someone and say you know this is what Eskimo’s do before having sex
35 Things to do when you’re in Walmart!
1. set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
2. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.
3. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,
4. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
5. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
6. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.
7. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask,
8. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.
9. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.
10. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.
11. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look"
12. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through,
13. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fatal position and scream..
14. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!
15.Grab a lot of bouncy balls and throw them down the aisle, shouting "Go, Pikachu, Go"
16. Pass out bananas to random people and snicker loudly when they take one.
17. Buy 350 cans of tuna and scream "THIS CAN'T BE RIGHT!! YOU HAVE TO PUT SOME BACK!!" when the cashier tells you the price.
18. Walk around looking confused in the CD section and ask people where you can find the CDs.
19. Start a fish-stick fight.
20. Walk up to random people, give them bear hugs, and say very loudly that you missed them and they never really did get that dandruff shampoo you recommended.
21. Jump in a cart and have a friend push you while you scream "The Germans are coming!"
22. Attempt to fly off a high shelf.
23. Run up to an employee and ask "Do you like me?" If they say no, yell out "You broke my heart, you evil monster! I'm telling the manager!" and start throwing canned tomatoes at them. If they say yes just to get you away, pat their shoulder, and say "What a shame because that girl over there" point to a random person "was just about to ask you to dinner."
24. Throw confetti on random people walking into the store.
25. Whisper "I know your 'little' secret" to people in the checkout lines.
26. Stand inside the freezer in the frozen food section.
27. Walk up to employees and whisper "I saw dead people...they want me to take you away...to aisle eight..."
28. Ask the clerk to make a page saying "If there is an Edward in the store, Bella is looking for you at the main info desk".
29. See how many cans of frosting you can open and thoroughly lick without getting caught.
30. Go to a person with a shopping cart full of merchandise and demand a ride in the basket.
31. Practice your juggling with a few Grades-A eggs.
32. Squeeze the cream-filled doughnuts.
33. Walk into the baby clothes section, pick up a pink baby dress, and then throw it down and run away screaming that the pink bunnies of doom came back.
34. Bow to the display of T.Vs in the electronics section.
35. See if you can move the bottom can from the gigantic canned beet pyramid
Did you know?
90% of teens would have a meltdown if Facebook had to be destroyed. Are you one of the 10% that would be laughing?
90% of teens would cry if Miley Cyrus was standing on the edge on a six story building. Are you one of the 10% that would be shouting ‘JUMP’?
95% of teens would have a breakdown if Miley Cyrus was at the top of a Skyscraper about to jump. Are you one of the 5% that would be sitting there eating popcorn and yelling ‘DO A FILP’?
On Tesco’s tiramisu dessert printed on the bottom: “Do not turn upside down”. Too late!
Om marks & spencer bread pudding: “product will be hot after heating”. As night follows day.
On packaging for Rowena iron:” do not iron clothes on body”. But wouldn’t this save me more time.
On boots children cough medicine: “do not drive or operate machinery after taking this medication”. We would reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get the 5-year-olds of those fork lifts.
On nytol sleep aid: “Warning: may cause drowsiness”. One could hope.
On most brands of Christmas lights: “For indoor or outside use only”. As oppose to what?
On Japanese food processor:” not to be used for other use”. I gotta admit I’m curious.
On Sainsbury’s peanuts: Warning: Contains nuts”. Talk about news flash.
On artificial bacon: “real artificial bacon bits”. So we don’t get fake fake bacon. Oh no we get real fake bacon.
On Myer hairdryer: “do not use while sleeping”. Darn, that’s the only time I have to work on my hair.
On an American airlines packet of nuts: “instructions: Open packet, eat nuts”. Wow that’s really helpful.
On child’s superman costumes: “WEARING of this garment does not enable you to fly”. Aw that’s the whole purpose to buying the costume.
On a Swedish chain saw: “Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals”. Was this happening somewhere?
On a package of pasta after the cooking instructions: “put on fork and eat”. No really? Were supposed to eat food?!
On a bar of Palmolive soap: “directions: Use like regular soap”. And that would be how?
On some frozen dinners: “serving suggestion: defrost”. But it’s just a suggestion.
On a Korean kitchen knife:” Warning: keep out of children”. Hmm, something must have been lost in translation.
On a pack of Fritos: “you could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside”. The shop lifter special.
Part One: EMO
You own at least 5 black shirts
Part Two: JOCK
Own at least 5 jerseys
YOU’RE BOY SIDE:
You love hoodies.
YOU’RE GIRL SIDE:
You wear lip gloss/chopstick.
If a parent asks you, “What did you learn in school today?” answer, “I learnt how to survive it.”
When you’re right no one remembers, when you’re wrong no one forgets.
They say “Guns don’t kill people, people kill people” but I think guns help. If you just stood there and shouted BANG I don’t think it will kill a lot of people.
Real girls aren’t perfect, perfect girls aren’t real. You want a perfect girl? Buy a Barbie.
She’s my best friend. Break her heart; I’ll break your face.
(Say to a boy)Yes, I hit like a girl, but if you hit harder you would too.
Real friends don’t let you do stupid stuff . . . alone.
It takes 47 muscles to frown, 13 to smile and absolutely none to just sit there with a dumb look on your face.
Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid that someone might actually clean them?
When some annoys you it takes 42 muscles to frown about it and takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and punch them!
I dream of a better world where chickens can cross the road without having their motives questioned.
I’m not crazy; you’re just more sane than I am.
I used up all my sick days so I called in dead.
I did what they said and took the less travelled roads now I just got to figure out where I am.
I smile because I have no idea what’s going on.
Stressed is desserts backwards.
Of all the things I lost, I miss my mind most.
Your laughing now because you older than me by a few months but when you’re 30 and I’m 29 who will be laughing then?
Where’s the good in goodbye?
I don’t suffer from insanity . . . I enjoy every minute of it.
I didn’t slap you, I high-fived your face.
Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to stand up and talk and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.
I am nobody, nobody is perfect, and therefore I’m perfect.
Our health teacher told us that “1 out of 3 people who start to some will eventually die. “The other two apparently became immortal.
I am on the seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.
Intelligence has limits. Stupidity doesn’t.
Smile it confuses people.
If it wasn’t for electricity we would all be watching TV by candle light.
A balanced diet is a piece of chocolate in each hand.
He who laughs last thinks slowest
Did you know 8 out of 3 people don’t get fractions?
We could all take a lesson from crayons: some are sharp, some are beautiful, some have weird names, all are different colours, but they still learn to live in the same box.
You laugh because I’m different, I laugh because your all the same
A computer beat me at chess once, but it was no match at kick boxing
A positive attitude may not solve all your problems but it will annoy enough people to worth the effort.
I am on a quest to the deepest, darkest corners of my room in search of what some would call "a floor" a long and difficult task awaits me. Wish me luck my friends for I may not return alive.
Why is Donkey Kong called “DONKEY” Kong if he’s a monkey?
364 days of the year, parents tell their kids not to take candy from strangers, yet on Halloween, its encouraged! Why is that?
Favourite Harry Potter Quotes
"Anyone can speak troll. All you have to do is point and grunt."
“Oh, are you a prefect Percy? You should have said something, we had no idea.”
“So light a fire!” Harry choked.
“You haven’t got a letter on yours,” George observed. “I suppose she thinks you don’t forget your name. But we’re not stupid – we know we’re called Gred and Forge.”
“And what if I wave my wand and nothing happens?”
"So you mean the Stone's only safe as long as Quirrell stands up to Snape?" said Hermione in alarm.
Speaking quietly so that no one else would hear, Harry told the other two about Snape's sudden, sinister desire to be a Quidditch referee.
As though an invisible hand were writing upon it, words appeared on the smooth surface of the map. "Mr Moony presents his compliments to Professor Snape, and begs him to keep his abnormally large nose out of other people's business."
One of them was a very old wizard who was wearing a long flowery nightgown. The other was clearly a Ministry wizard; he was holding out a pair of pinstriped trousers and almost crying with exasperation.
Mr Weasley, it's Harry… the fireplace has been blocked up. You won't be able to get through there."
"How do you feel Georgie?" whispered Mrs.Weasley.
(Harry, just being greeted by Percy) “Harry!” said Fred, elbowing Percy out of the way and bowing deeply. “Simply splendid to see you, old boy—“
10 years of my life, revolved around it
9 Weasley’s I wish were my family
8 films that have just finished
7 books I’ll keep till I’m grey
6 years the Golden Trio were at Hogwarts
5 amazing friends that went to the Ministry with Harry
4 names out of the Goblet of Fire
3 people who became the saviours of the Wizarding World
2 people who sacrificed their live to let their son live
1 thing left to say: Always
Professor Flitwick . . . does not know where Snow White is
Professor Snape . . . does not wish to get in touch with his feminine side
Professor Lupin . . . has no need for a flea collar ever
Professor Moody . . . the best ‘teaching’ Hogwarts has seen in a while
Professor McGonagall . . . goes not take herself too seriously. It is a bad idea to tell her.
Professor Dumbledore . . . should be referred to as, ‘professor’, ‘sir’ or ‘headmaster’ not ‘dude’, ‘My Liege’ or ‘Tim the enchanter’
Harry potter . . . is more emo than Draco Malfoy
Draco malfoy . . . disagrees
Hermione granger . . . has PMS and a wand
Ron Weasley . . . is very afraid
Luna Lovegood . . . is very sane thank you very much
Ginny Weasley . . . wants her Hogwarts toilet seat
Fred Weasley . . . know that if he and his twin giggle at an idea for more than 15 seconds they may assume that it’s against the rules and should not carry it out.
George Weasley . . . knows that he and his twin will carry it out and are not remotely sorry.
Lily Evans . . . swears she’s not in love with James Potter
James Potter . . . doesn’t believe her
Remus Lupin . . . would prefer less jokes about ‘his time of the month’
Sirius Black . . . killed by drapery
Andromeda Black . . . is going to marry a muggle- screw the consequences
Bellatrix Black . . . is ‘quietly going insane
Narcissa Black . . . would like a new hairbrush
Lucius Malfoy . . . does not like to be referred to as ‘Luscious mouthful’
Voldermort . . . does not think it would be funny if harry potter were to put earmuffs on and pulled a mandrake out in his presence.
Gryffindor’s . . . will jump of a cliff
Slytherins . . . will push someone else off
Hufflepuffs . . . will call five hundred others and build a staircase
Ravenclaws . . . will get hold of a flying carpet
The laughter was taken from the world the day Fred Weasley died.
I PROMISE TO REMEBER
I promise to remember Tonks
And I promise to remember Charlie Weasley
I promise not to obey traffic laws
And I promise to remember Lupin
I promise to remember Arthur
And I promise to remember the Weasley Twins
I promise to remember Lily
And I promise to remember Dobby
I promise to remember Teddy
And I promise to remember Molly when someone tells me they care.
I promise to remember Ginny
And I promise to remember the death eaters
Yes I promise to love Harry Potter
So that all may see my obsession
because I know what the wizards know
I will not do
1) I will not sing "We're Off to See the Wizard” when sent to the Headmaster's office.
2) Seamus Finnigan is not "after me lucky charms"
3) House elves are not acceptable replacements for Bludgers
4) I will not take out a life insurance policy on Harry Potter
5) My headmaster's name is Albus Dumbledore, not "Gandalf”
6) A Muggle "vacuum cleaner" is not acceptable Quidditch equipment, even if it has been enchanted to fly.
7) I will not go into the forbidden forest looking for Charlie the Unicorn
8) Despite my personal beliefs, Quidditch would not be improved by the introduction of muggle firearms.
9) I should not refer to Malfoy, Crabbe and Goyle collectively as "Team Rocket"
10) I will not test my Potions assignments by spiking Snape's drink with them
11) - Especially not all of them at once
12) I will not tell Professor Trelawney that I prophesied her death.
13) I will also not tell Professor Trelawney that I had a vision of her killing the Dark Lord.
14) When a class-mate falls asleep, I shall not take advantage of the fact and draw a Dark Mark on his arm.
15) Headmaster Dumbledore is of no relation to Willy Wonka.
16) I am not authorized to negotiate a peace treaty with Voldermort.
17) Mad-Eye Moody knows his eye is creepy; he does not need to be told... again.
18) Yes, the Great Hall is extremely large, but Quidditch is an outside sport.
19) The song "Ding Dong, The Witch is Dead" is never, ever appropriate.
20) -Especially in reference to Professor Umbridge.
21) Professor Lupin does not know anyone by the name of Jacob Black.
22) –Even though he was friends with someone named Sirius Black.
23) I will not recite lines from Potter Puppet Pals, as it is awkward and rude.
24) –Especially not during meal times.
25) I will not yell "Hey look it’s Lord Voldermort!" at Hogsmeade.
26) I will not sing the Badger Song during Hufflepuff-Slytherin Quidditch matches.
27) I will not send Snape a bottle of shampoo for Christmas.
28) –Or Wen Hair Care.
29) I am not allowed to sneak into Professor Snape’s private chambers to watch him sing I Will Survive in the mirror, as it is disturbing.
30) "Oo ee, oo ah ah, ting tang, walla walla bing bang" is not an actual spell.
31) Gryffindor's sword is not to be used to patrol the hallways.
32) Shout "beam me up Scotty" before disapparating.
33) Yelling “to infinity, and BEYOND!” was only funny the first time I took off on my broom.
34) Making a slinky go from the top of the astronomy tower to the ground level is not an appropriate pastime.
35) - especially while singing “everyone loves a slinky”.
36) - especially while singing “everyone loves a slinky” until the slinky hits the bottom.
37) - especially while singing “everyone loves a slinky” until the slinky hits the bottom and starting the whole process over again whenever the slinky gets stuck.
38) - apparently, not everyone loves a slinky.
39) I will not sweep the Gryffindor common room with Harry Potter's prized Firebolt.
40) The Giant Squid is not to be referred to as 'my lord Cthulhu', nor am I allowed to sacrifice first years to it on the new moon.
41) No matter how good a fake Australian accent I can do, I will not imitate Steve Irwin during Care of Magical Creatures class.
42) Asking "How do you keep a Gryffindor in suspense?" and walking away is only funny the first time.
43) First-years should not be encouraged to befriend the Whomping Willow.
44) I will not put books of muggle fairy tales in the history section of the library.
45) Calling the Ghostbusters is a cruel joke to play on the resident ghosts and poltergeists.
46) A time turner is not a flux capacitor, and I should therefore not install one in any Muggle cars.
47) I will not dress up as Voldermort for Halloween.
48) The muggle television show “Futurama” is fictional and describing the events of each episode while looking at a crystal ball does not count as extra credit in Divination.
49) I will not run through the halls shouting “Snape kills Dumbledore!”
50) There is no such thing as “Wizard Swears” even if I have seen it on Potter Puppet Pals and I should not shout them in the Great Hall.
51) –Nor should I teach them to first years.
52) I will not "borrow" a prefects' badge for Peeves.
53) I am not allowed out of my house dorm when anyone from the Ministry of Magic visits Hogwarts.
54) If Dumbledore wanted to tell me what Aberforth did to the goats, he would’ve told me already.
55) Centaurs do not give free rides to kids and I should stop telling the first years otherwise.
56) "42" is not the answer to every O.W.L or N.E.W.T exam paper.
57) Neither is "Yo Mamma".
58) Dumbledore is not Santa, he does not wish for me to sit on his knee and demand presents, especially not in June.
59) Singing “The Mysterious Ticking Noise” in the library is rude and annoying.
60) –Especially if I get everyone in Gryffindor to sing with me.
61) –Especially if I get everyone in Gryffindor to sing with me and form a large circle around Professor Snape.
62)- Especially if I get everyone in Gryffindor to sing with me and form a large circle around Professor Snape and refuse to let him out of the circle until he finds the pipe bomb.
63) The fact that there are only three unforgivable curses does not mean that every other curse is "pretty much forgivable".
64) Shouting random Latin phrases while waving my wand is not acceptable charms research.
65) I will not shove professor Snape into a wall repeatedly while shouting “Bother” over and over again.
66) -Nor will I enchant the Whomping Willow to do so.
67) Thestrals do not resemble the Muggle toys known as 'My Little Pony'.
68) The Muggle known as George W. Bush is not related to or working for Lord Voldermort in any way, and I am to stop insinuating that he is.
69) Singing 99 Bottles of Potion on the wall nonstop repeatedly will result in a detention.
70) Hagrid is not to be referred to as “Gargamel” is not trying to capture the house elves for use in making a potion.
71) Mrs Norris does not like playing with blast-ended skrewts.
72) If asked in class what the Avada Kedavra curse does, yelling "It does DEATH!" may be correct but is not the manner in which one should answer.
73) I will not swap Draco's broom with one out of Filch's broom cupboard.
74) I will not replace Madam Pomfrey's Skele-Gro with pumpkin juice.
75) -I will not replace Professor Snape's pumpkin juice with Skele-Gro.
76) -It was not an honest mistake.
77) Despite the name, using transcripts of Muggle Cast is not useful for writing essays in Muggle Studies.
78) I will not shout “YOU SHALL NOT PASS!” every time I pass Dumbledore in a corridor.
79) Professor Flitwick's first name in not Yoda.
80) Humming/singing/referring in any way to Duran Duran's "Hungry like the Wolf" around Professor Lupin is inappropriate. It's best not to bring up "Thriller", either.
81) I am not the wicked witch of the west.
82) -I will not refer to Professor Umbridge as such either.
83) I will not melt if water is poured over me.
84) -Neither will Professor Umbridge.
85) "To conquer the earth with an army of flying monkeys" is not an appropriate career choice.
86) Asking Snape if his sister’s ok after that house fell on her is tasteless and will earn you a month of detention.
87) Shouting “Abracadabra” can be misheard and start a panic.
88) Professor Trelawney’s name is not “Madame Crack-Addict.”
89)-Neither is Professor Snape’s.
90) Dragons are not permitted inside the castle, even if you are having trouble starting a fire in the common room fireplace.
91) I will not discuss my theory that Voldermort and Michael Jackson went to the same plastic surgeon.
92) I will not loudly tell Hermione that “THE MARAUDER’S MAP ISN’T SUPPOSED TO BE USED FOR STALKING LOCKHART!” in front of a large group of Slytherins.
93) –Even if she is stalking Lockhart.
94) I will not, under any circumstances, ask Harry Potter who died and made him boss.
95) I am not allowed to introduce Peeves to paintballing.
96) I will not lock the Slytherins and Gryffindor’s in a room together and take bets on who will come out alive.
97) Bringing fortune cookies to Divination class does not count for extra credit.
98) I am not allowed to declare an official Hug a Slytherin Day.
99) I am not allowed to sing my own personal spy music while wandering the hallways.
100) Getting everyone in the Great Hall to do the Time Warp will not earn me any house points
...In Remembrance to Fred Weasley... …Who fought bravely to the very end….
…In Remembrance to Dobby…
….In Remembrance to Remus J. Lupin….
….In Remembrance to Nymphadora Tonks…
…In Remembrance of Alastor ‘Mad-Eye’ Moody….
…In Remembrance of Albus Dumbledore…
…In Remembrance of Colin Creevey…
…In Remembrance of Hedwig…
In Remembrance of Severus Snape: A Slytherin who died like a Gryffindor without all the red and gold crap
In Remeberance of Lily Potter: Who died to protect her son she made the ulimate sacrifice to make the world a safer place she'll always remain in our hearts
In Remembrance of Fred Weasley: Who fought bravely to the very end and whose jokes will forever brighten his other half and will loyally await his soul mate and brother with many jokes, he's got forever to think of them, right
In Remenberance of Cedric Diggory: Who died before his time and will be remembered for his bravery
In Rememberance of Sirius Black: The black sheep in his family he died laughing at the hands of his cousin he didn't deserve to spend the last fourteen years of his life the way he did in Azkaban and on the run
In Remembrance of Tom Marvelo Riddle a.k.a. Voldemort: Who was pretty cool and cute when he was younger but who got his ass thoroughly kicked in the end
In Remembrance of Bellatrix Lestrange: Because it’s was awesome how Molly slapped her with that Avada Kedavra she deserved everything she got and more
And In Remembrance of Harry James Potter: Yeah I know he's not dead (damn right he's not) but the series is. *sobs* J.K., if you're reading this, get crackin'!
You say Edward Cullen, I say Harry Potter
You say red and black, I say red and gold
You say Forks, I say Hogwarts
You say Edward and Bella, I say Ron and Hermione
You say Jacob Black, I say Sirius Black
You say Volturi, I say Death Eaters
You say “Go to Hell!” I say, “Go kiss a dementor!”
You say football, I say Quidditch
You say “Twilight is better than Harry Potter.” I say, “You must not tell lies!”
You say childhood, I Say Harry Potter
You say depression; I say “The dementors must be near. Here have some chocolate.”
You say Hitler, I say Voldemort
You say school, I say Hogwarts
You say “I’m going to kill you.” I say, “Avada Kedavra!”
You say life, I say Harry Potter