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Joined 04-13-12, id: 3912684, Profile Updated: 12-04-13

IF YOU HATE CHILD ABUSE POST THIS ON YOUR PROFILE!!

My name is Sarah

I am but three,

My eyes are swollen

I cannot see,

I must be stupid

I must be bad,

What else could have made

My daddy so mad?

I wish I were better

I wish I weren't ugly,

Then maybe my mommy

Would still want to hug me.

I can't speak at all

I can't do a wrong

Or else I'm locked up

All the day long

When I awake I'm all alone

The house is dark

My folks aren't home.

When my mommy does come

I'll try and be nice,

So maybe I'll get just

One whipping tonight

Don't make a sound!

I just heard a car

My daddy is back

From Charlie's Bar.

I hear him curse

My name he calls

I press myself

Against the wall.

I try and hide

From his evil eyes

I'm so afraid now

I'm starting to cry.

He finds me weeping

He shouts ugly words,

He says its my fault

That he suffers at work.

He slaps me and hits me

And yells at me more,

I finally get free

And I run for the door.

He's already locked it

And I start to bawl,

He takes me and throws me

Against the hard wall.

I fall to the floor

With my bones nearly broken,

And my daddy continues

With more bad words spoken.

"I'm sorry!", I scream

But its now much too late

His face has been twisted

Into unimaginable hate.

The hurt and the pain

Again and again

Oh please God, have mercy!

Oh please let it end!

And he finally stops

And heads for the door,

While I lay there motionless

Sprawled on the floor.

My name is Sarah

And I am but three,

Tonight my daddy,

Murdered me.

The 100 Laws of Anime

The laws of Anime is a growing list of physical, universal, and natural phenomenon that seem to appear in various forms in all sorts of anime. The original intent was an effort to classify these incidents into a list of "laws" that explained how Anime physics are different from our own (real?) world. It is our hope that you find them useful to studying Anime, or at the very least, worth a good chuckle.

#1) Law of Metaphysical Irregularity - The normal laws of physics do not apply.

#2) Law of Differential Gravitation - Whenever someone or something jumps, is thrown, or otherwise is rendered airborne, gravity is reduced by a factor of 4. Some things have been known to "Float" for a few seconds before plummeting to hit the ground, vehicle, or someone’s cranium.

#3) Law of Sonic Amplification, First Law of Anime Acoustics - In space, loud sounds, like explosions, are even louder because there is no air to get in the way.

#4) Law of Constant Thrust, First Law of Anime Motion - In space, constant thrust equals constant velocity.

#5) Law of Mechanical Mobility, Second Law of Anime Motion - The larger a mechanical device is, the faster it moves; Armored Mecha are the fastest objects known to human science.

#6) Law of Temporal Variability - Time is not a constant. Time stops for the hero whenever he does something "cool" or "impressive". Time slows down when friends and lovers are being killed and speeds up whenever there is a fight.

#7) First Law of Temporal Mortality – “Good Guys” and “Bad Guys” both die in one of two ways - either so quick they don’t even see it coming, OR it’s a long drawn out affair where the character gains much insight to the workings of society, human existence or why the toast always lands butter side down.
Note: Sometimes, Anime heroes or villains never really die! In these rare cases they were a clone or cyborg and the real hero/villain’s suspiciously missing in “Malletspace” or something...

#8) Second Law of Temporal Mortality - It takes some time for bad guys to die... regardless of physical damage. Even when the “Bad Guys” are killed so quickly they don’t even see it coming, it takes them a while to realize they are dead. This is attributed to the belief that being evil damages the Reality Lobe of the brain.

#9) Law of Dramatic Emphasis - Scenes involving extreme amounts of action are depicted with either still frames or black screens with a slash of bright color (usually red or white).

#10) Law of Dramatic Multiplicity - Scenes that only happen once, for instance, a “Good Guy” kicks the “Bad Guy” in the face, are seen at least 3 times from 3 different angles.

#11) Law of Inherent Combustibility - Everything explodes. Everything.
First Corollary: Anything that explodes bulges first.
Second Corollary: Large cities are the most explosive substances known to human science. Tokyo in particular seems to be the most unstable of these cities, sometimes referred to as "The Matchstick City".

#12) Law of Phlogistatic Emission - Nearly all things emit light from fatal wounds.

#13) Law of Energetic Emission - There is always an energy build up (commonly referred to as an energy "bulge") before Mecha or space craft weapons fire. Because of the explosive qualities of weapons, it is believed that this is related to the Law of Inherent Combustibility.

#14) Law of Inverse Lethal Magnitude - The destructive potential of any object/organism is inversely proportional to its mass.
First Corollary: Small and cute will always overcome big and ugly. Also known as the A-Ko phenomenon...

#15) Law of Inexhaustibility - No one EVER runs out of ammunition. That is of course unless they are cornered, out-numbered, out-classed, and/or unconscious.

#16) Laws of Inverse Accuracy - The accuracy of a “Good Guy” when operating any form of firearm increases as the difficulty of the shot increases. The accuracy of the “Bad Guys” when operating firearms decreases when the difficulty of the shot decreases (Also known as the Storm Trooper Effect).
Example: A “Good Guy” in a drunken stupor being held upside down from a moving vehicle will always hit, and several battalions of “Bad Guys” firing on a “Good Guy” standing alone in the middle of an open field will always miss.
First Corollary: The more “Bad Guys” there are, the less likely they will hit anyone or do any real damage.
Second Corollary: Whenever a “Good Guy” is faced with insurmountable odds, the “Bad Guys” line up in neat rows, allowing the hero to take them all out with a single burst of automatic fire and then escape.
Third Corollary: Whenever a “Good Guy” is actually hit by enemy fire, it is in a designated "Good Guy Area", usually a flesh wound in the shoulder or arm, which restricts the “Good Guy” from doing anything more strenuous than driving, firing weaponry, using melee weapons, operating heavy machinery, or doing complex martial arts maneuvers.
Fourth Corollary: The more times the “Bad Guy” fires, the fewer times he will hit.

#17) Law of Transient Romantic Unreliability - Minimei is a bimbo. (Note: The Minority Opposition in Ohio disagrees and thinks all men who like this stuff needs to get out more.)

#18) Law of Hemoglobin Capacity - the human body contains over 12 gallons of blood, sometimes more, under high pressure.

#19) Law of Demonic Consistency - Demons and other supernatural creatures have at least three eyes, loads of fangs, tend to be yellow-green or brown, but black is not unknown, and can only be hurt by bladed weapons. Also, acid has been known to work just as well...

#20) Law of Militaristic Unreliability - Huge galaxy-wide armadas, entire armies, and large war machines full of cruel, heartless, bloodthirsty warriors can be stopped and defeated with a single insignificant example of a caring/loving emotion or a song.
First Corollary: Whenever a single war machine (mecha, starship, etc.) goes up against an entire army, the army always loses.

#21) Law of Tactical Unreliability- Tactical geniuses aren’t...

#22) Law of Inconsequential Undetectability - People never notice the little things... like missing body parts, or wounds the size of Seattle.

#23) Law of Juvenile Intellectuality - Children are smarter than adults. And almost twice as annoying...

#24) Law of Americanthromorphism - Americans in Anime appear in one of two roles, either as a really nasty skinny “Bad Guy” or a big stupid “Good Guy”.
First Corollary: The only people who are more stupid than the big dumb Americans are the American translators (Sometimes referred to as the Green Line Effect).
Second Corollary: The only people who are more stupid than the American translators are the American editors and censors (true).
Third Corollary: Canadians are usually portrayed as smart, strong, handsome “Good Guys”.

#25) Law of Mandibular Proportionality - The size of a person’s mouth is directly proportional to the volume at which they are speaking or eating.

#26) Law of Feline Mutation - Any half-cat/half-human mutation will invariably:
1) Be female.
2) Will possess ears and sometimes a tail as a genetic mutation.
3) Wear as little clothing as possible, if any (a definite plus).
4) Rare would this apply to male half-cat/half-human mutations (though they exist out there).

#27) Law of Conservation of Firepower - Any powerful weapon capable of destroying/defeating an opponent in a single shot will invariably be reserved and used as a last resort.

#28) Law of Technological User-Benevolence - The formal training required to operate a spaceship or mecha is inversely proportional to its complexity.

#29) Law of Melee Luminescence - Any being displaying extremely high levels of martial arts prowess and/or violent emotions emits light in the form of a glowing aura. This aura is usually blue for “Good Guys” and red for “Bad Guys”. This is attributed to Good being higher in the electromagnetic spectrum than Evil.

#30) Law of Non-Anthropomorphic Antagonism - All ugly, non-humanoid alien races are hostile, and usually hell-bent on destroying humanity for some obscure reason.

#31) Law of Follicular Chromatic Variability - Any color in the visible spectrum is considered a natural hair color. This color can change without warning or explanation.

#32) Law of Follicular Permanence - Hair in anime is pretty much indestructible, and can resist any amount of meteorological conditions, energy emissions, physical abuse, or explosive effects and still look perfect. The only way to hurt someone’s hair is the same way you deal with demons... with bladed weapons!

#33) Law of Nothingness - There is no Law #33... I think.

#34) Law of Probable Attire - Clothing in anime follows certain predictable guidelines: Female characters wear as little clothing as possible, regardless of whether it is socially or meteorologically appropriate. Any female with an excessive amount of clothing will invariably have her clothes ripped to shreds or torn off somehow. If there is no opportunity to tear off aforementioned female’s clothes, then she will inexplicably take a shower for no apparent reason (also known as the Gratuitous Shower Scene). Whenever there is a headwind, Male characters invariably wear long cloaks that don’t hamper movement and billow out dramatically behind them.
First Corollary (Cryo-Adaptability): All anime characters are resistant to extremely cold temperatures, and do not need to wear heavy or warm clothing in snow.
Second Corollary (Indecent Invulnerability): Bikinis render the wearer invulnerable to any form of damage.
Third Corollary (Probable Attire permanence): The clothing on the hero is indestructible. Their capes, robes, (and if they are girls,) skirts, dresses, bows, or any loose clothing will just flap when they are in the middle of a fire or ice attack... Unless it's a hentai... it is believed that the clothes are made out of Anime Character hair. (Re. Laws 32 & 48)

#35) Law of Musical Omnipotence - Any character capable of musical talent (singing, playing an instrument, etc.) is automatically capable of doing much more “simple things”, such examples would be like piloting mecha, fighting crime, stopping an intergalactic war, and so on... especially if they’ve never attempted these things before.

#36) Law of Quintupular Agglutination - Also called “The Five-man Rule”, when “Good Guys” group together, it tends to be in groups of five. There are five basic positions, which are:
1) The Hero/Leader
2) His Girlfriend
3) His Best Friend/Rival
4) A Hulking Brute
5) A Dwarf/Kid
Between these basic positions are distributed several attributes, which include:
1) Extreme Coolness
2) Amazing Intelligence
3) Incredible Irritation

#37) Law of Extradimensional Capacitance - All anime females have an extradimensional storage space of variable volume somewhere on their person from which they can instantly retrieve any object at a moment’s notice. This mysterious dimension is commonly called "Malletspace".
First Corollary (also known as The Hammer Rule): The most common item stored is a heavy mallet, costumes/uniforms, power suits/armor, and large bazookas.

#38) Law of Hydrostatic Emission - Eyes tend to be rather large in Anime. This is because they contain several gallons of water, which may be instantaneously released at high pressure through large tear ducts. The actual volume of water contained in the eyes is unknown, as there is no evidence to suggest that these reservoirs are actually capable of running out. The reason water tends to collect in the eyes is because Anime characters only have one large sweat gland, which is located at the back of the head. When extremely stressed, embarrassed, or worried, this sweat gland exudes a single but very large drop of sebaceous fluid.

#39) Law of Inverse Attraction - Success at finding suitable mates is inversely proportionate to how desperately you want to be successful. The more you want, the less you get and vice-versa.
First Corollary: Unfortunately, this law seems to apply to Otaku in the real world...

#40) Law of Nasal Sanguination - When sexually aroused, males in Anime don’t get erections (no that occurs in H-manga sometimes), nope, they get nosebleeds. No one’s sure why this is, though... the current theory suggests that larger eyes mean smaller sinuses and thinner sinus tissue (see Law #38 above). Females don’t get nosebleeds (though it’s very rare), but invariably get one heck of a blush along the cheeks and across the nose, suggesting a lot of bloodflow to that region.

#41) Law of Xylolaceration - Wooden or bamboo swords are just as sharp as metal swords, if not sharper.

#42) Law of Juvenile Omnipotence - Always send a boy to do a man’s job. He’ll get it done in half the time and twice the angst.

#43) Law of Triscaquadrodecophobia - There is no Law #43.

#44) Law of Nominative Clamovocation - The likelihood of success and damage done by a martial arts attack is directly proportional to the volume at which the full name of the attack is announced (known as the Kamehameha effect).

#45) Law of Uninterruptable Metamorphosis - Regardless of how long or involved the transformation sequence or how many times they’ve seen it before, any “Bad Guys” witnessing a mecha/hero/heroine transforming are too stunned to do anything to interrupt it (unless they’re smart to try an action but then again such an action doesn’t exist much).

#46) Law of Flimsy Incognition - Simply changing into a costume or wearing a teensy mask can make you utterly unrecognizable to even your closest friends and relatives.

#47) Law of Mandibular Combustible Emission - All anime characters seem to have some unknown chemical on their breath that reacts VERY violently with extremely hot or spicy food. This chemical may also be responsible for the phenomenon of fire behind the eyes and from the mouth when a character (usually a female) is really angry.

#48) Law of Electrical and Combustible Survivalism - If you get electrocuted or burned, YOU WILL SURVIVE! Though your entire body will be scorched, seconds later, your skin won’t have a trace of damage (Also known as the "Pikachu Effect").
First Corollary: When a magical bad guy/Alien/monster fires off a flame, wind, or ice attack, the resulting effect is only enough for the hero(es)/heroine(s) to be standing in the “Walking Against the Wind” stance, with his/her eyes shut and letting out a pathetic “Aaaaagh!”, and yet they are never harmed. This may be in part to laws 32, 34 and sometimes 44.

#49) Law of Female Wrath - If a male character insults a female character, he will get a mallet, shotgun, or tank blast, or if she is a character that can perform magical feats, a fireball or whatever, to the head, body or whatever (Also known as the "Lina Inverse/Gourry Factor"). This is because he always deserves it, and will help him to cope in today’s society. (Sniff, Sniff)

#50) Law of Artistic Perversion - Most (not all) Anime artists are perverts and are under the impression that girls are willing to tear off their clothes, or wear VERY small, revealing outfits at the drop of a pin (or pen for that matter). Unfortunately, most Hentai fans are under the same impression...

#51) Law of Uninterruptable Nominative Clamovocation - This law is a mixture of Laws 44 and 45. Regardless of how long or involved the Spell or projectile attack is, and the likelihood of success and damage done by the volume at which the full name of the attack is announced, or how many times they’ve seen it before, any “Bad Guys” witnessing a hero/heroine quoting the incantations for an extremely powerful attack are too stunned to do anything to interrupt it. (Also known as the “Dragon Slave Phenomenon”)

#52) Law of Telepathic Obliviousness - Most of the time, some Anime characters (usually males) will think personal (Like that he/she has sabotaged something), or perverted thoughts, while near some other character, WHO’S TELEPATHIC! The reasons for this are:
1) They forgot that the person is telepathic.
2) They just don’t give a damn.
The reasons the telepathic person doesn’t react are:
1) They’re preoccupied with doing something else.
2) They’d rather keep the fact to themselves that they are Telepathic.
3) They just don’t give a damn.

#53) Law of Chromatic Diversity - Air can be any color of the viewable spectrum.

#54) Law of Old Man Comic Relief - Comic relief comes in the form of a short, bald, wise-mouthed dirty old man, alien, or the combination of any two of those traits.
First Corollary: If old man is present, and is acting too horny, stupid, etc., there will invariably be an old woman to whap him over the head with a frying pan or something.

#55) Law of the Wise Old Man - Little old Japanese men always know how it ends and withhold the ending from anyone, especially the hero. This includes special power weapons, ancient relics, and people who know everything.

#56) Law of Omnipotent Unreliability - Any “Bad Guy” with Omnipotent powers/weapons will never use those powers/weapons against the “Good Guy” until it is too late.
First Corollary: All “Bad Guys” suffer from Antagonistic Boasting Syndrome which require all “Bad Guys” to threaten with or exemplify their prowess and not use it against the “Good Guy”.
Second Corollary: No “Bad Guy” may use any new, secret, or superior military device without one of the following events occurring:
a) The control device being broken.
b) The control device being taken by the “Good Guy”.
c) The control device is in fact not the real device at all and was just fooled by the “Good Guy”.
d) The “Bad Guy” has already lost and cannot use the device.

#57) Law of Minimum Corneal Volume - Eyeballs may make up no less than one sixth of the face’s total surface area. More so if the case is a blonde woman...

#58) Law of Electrical Charges in Hair - Hair attracts electricity in abundance, resulting in two outcomes:
a) A positive charge will result in the spikes-flying-everywhere-behind-me look.

b) A negative charge will result in the hair-cascading-down-to-the-waist-in-a-single-sheet look.

#59) Law of Ammunition Accuracy - When there are multiple types of ammunition available (paintballs, speaker pods) non-lethal rounds will always be more accurate when compared to “standard” or “lethal” shots. (Macross Plus for paintballs, Macross 7 for speaker pods)

#60) Law of Active Female Attraction - In a comedy series, a male character’s attractiveness to women is inversely proportional to how active they pursue them. (Tenchi, Ranma, and Makoto OVA have a seemingly endless supply of willing girlfriends despite their lack of romantic skill while Happosai, Ataru, and Carrot couldn’t get a date despite or because of their constant attempts.)

#61) Law of Sweat Pore Variability - When a person is embarrassed, caught in an awkward situation, or otherwise humiliated, all sweat pores on the body contract, except for ones on the forehead. These pores expand to such a degree that a single drop could fill a Big Gulp from a 7-11 shop.

#62) The Law of Inverse Training Time - A person who has been training for 3 years is never as good as someone who has been training for one month.

#63) Law of Needs to Few and Many - The needs of the many, outweigh the needs of the few... of even the one.

#64) Law of Bad Humor - Whenever someone says something that is intended to be funny, whether actually funny or not, the rest of the characters (even animals) fall to the ground with their feet in the air. Sweat sometimes accompanies the fall. (The sound of a cow mooing usually accompanies the joke as well.)

#65) Law of Extreme Anger - Whenever a female character gets mad, such as seeing the male character with another girl, she becomes extremely strong (despite her usually helpless look) so that she can lift a 1000 ton object to hurt the guy. She can sometimes perform other punishments that are just as cruel such as pinching the guy’s face so hard that it changes shape (see law #49).

#66) Law of Differentiated Gravitation - The following occur:
First Corollary: If the airborne entity exceeds an altitude equal or greater than two times the height of the entity, gravity is decreased by an inverse coefficient relative to the upward momentum and mass/weight (if within at least 500 km of any gravity source) of the entity “jumping”.
Second Corollary” The amount of Newtonian "opposite force" (in accordance to normal downward velocity; "Earth gravity" speed is equal to 32ft/sec/sec) is also inversely proportional to the "actual" speed of the airborne entity. In all actuality, an entity that appears to be flying towards a solid concrete parking lot from space will actually land, producing an opposite force of approximately 1.73 lb. of pressure. Unless this particular entity is a “Bad Guy”. Then the law exhibits a mysterious exponentially proportional Newtonian opposite force, thusly increasing this variable by a factor equal to the inverse-gravity potential.

#67) Law of Conservation of Ambient Dramatic Tension - In any situation where the Ambient Dramatic Tension increases, the "Good Guy’s" Style Coefficient must be increased by a proportional amount to compensate. In any situation where this does not happen, the “Bad Guy” inevitably comes out on top. However, this usually leads to a further rise in the Ambient Dramatic tension, which will always be offset by an exponential increase in the "Good Guy’s" Style Coefficient.

#68) Law of Coercive Vehicular Control - No matter how complex or well defined the control system, a character controlling a vehicle of any sort always does so through means of undetectable subconscious psychokinesis.
First Corollary: Characters can perform actions with their vehicles which clearly defy normal physics (see Laws of Metaphysical Irregularity and Constant Thrust). The velocity, attitude and traction of the vehicle appear to be adjusted at will, with the degree of absolute control being proportional to the complexity and lethality of the maneuver.
Second Corollary: It is effectively impossible to remove characters from or disrupt the passage of their vehicles without the character’s consent. This does not always apply to “Bad Guy” characters, or “Good Guy” characters in situations where the Ambient Dramatic Tension could increase in accordance with the Law of Conservation of Ambient Dramatic Tension.

#69) Amendment to the Law of Conservation of Ambient Dramatic Tension - In any situation where the Ambient Dramatic Tension increases without a corresponding increase in the "Good Guy’s" Style Coefficient, not only does the “Bad Guy” usually come out on top, but also his Smugness Factor increases in proportion to the rise in Ambient Dramatic Tension.

#70) Law of The Rushing Background Effect - Whenever something dramatic occurs, a survival instinct engages, thus rendering all incoming stimulus that is not directly and immediately to the dramatic situation at hand a meaningless blur. This is often referred to as "The Rushing Background Effect". Due to the increase in brain activity and adrenaline levels in the bloodstream, the scene is often played out in slow motion.

#71) Law of Interdimensional Hammers - Whenever a female character witnesses a male character of her preference performing any sort of questionable act (i.e. Looking at another girl or anything she might construe as perverted) she can reach into an interdimensional realm (usually behind her back) and withdraw a huge Anime Mallet of Doom with which to whack the said male over the head with. (See Laws # 37, 49, and 65)

#72) Law of Instant Band-Aids - Whenever a character is injured (usually in a head shot, maybe from a mallet whack) Band-Aids will always instantly appear on the wounded individual (and always in pairs, set in a cross fashion). These bandages will then, most likely, disappear by the character’s next scene.

#73) Law of Universal Edge Defense - Any projectile attack, from a blast of magic to a hail of bullets, can be easily defended against by holding a suitably cool-looking sword or other bladed weapon between the attacker and defender, usually so that the edge cuts into the incoming attack(s), causing both halves to go flying harmlessly past the defender (Observed most often in fantasy and martial arts anime).

#74) Law of Intractable Sanity - There is no such thing as insanity in anime. When faced with horrifying supernatural forces that would drive most men mad, anime characters will either:
a) Die quickly (but in accordance with all other laws e.g., slowdown and exposition)
b) Get possessed by them, especially if they are beautiful girls or men in a position to ravish beautiful girls, or...
c) Kill them, wipe the blood off their blades, and walk on whistling.

#75) Law of Celestial Body Control - At a dramatically correct moment, a hero can summon a sun/moon/halo to appear behind him/her to cause a dramatic silhouette.

#76) Law of Aura of Forgetfulness - Any hero who wishes his/her identity to remain a secret will invariably succeed regardless of disguise because everyone around him/her will forget everything. Otherwise, how does Sailor Moon keep her disguise?

#77) Law of Cool Hair Factor - The hair of a hero will always coalesce into thick strands that drape his face into a dramatic fashion, regardless of wind, the elements, etc. (see Laws 32 & 48)

#78) Law of Inverse Coping - Any single event will happen to the ONE character LEAST capable of dealing with it.

#79) Law of Martial Arts Training Invulnerability - The Myth that certain martial arts will enable you to become so strong, that you can stop a nuclear warhead with your bare palm. Unfortunately, for most otaku, they found the hard way that it just doesn’t work in real life...

#80) Law of Stereotype Captain characteristics - If a captain of any type of ship is male, he will invariably wear a big captain’s cap, a long overcoat, and have a shaggy beard and mustache (pipe optional), and be a great tactician. If the captain is female, however, she will invariably be young, well endowed, and ditzy as a pole (horny father optional). Yet, she too will be a great tactician.

#81) Law of Shades/Coolness Factor - Shades can make you instantly cool, even if you’re normally a klutz.

#82) Law of Hentai Plot - The proper response to any change in the plotline of a Hentai anime is to start having sex.

#83) Law of Understatement - Anything that is deemed too impossible will become possible.
First Corollary: Any “Bad Guy” stating "T-that’s impossible!" whenever the hero is accomplishing some new feat/move/projectile will find out too late that he is wrong and will invariably be toasted.

#84) Law of Dormant Powers - Anytime a hero is somehow out powered and/or outclassed by the villain, he will invariably release powers/new moves he never knew he could accomplish... but his old teacher did!

#85) Law of Style Coefficient - In a situation where a Good guy may be in dire straits, he will become stronger, smarter and more cool in a matter of seconds. (See Laws #67, 69, and 84)

#86) Law of Bad Guy Smugness Factor - Whenever the villain actually succeeds in beating the hero, they will begin to gloat uncontrollably, because they’ve never won against the “Good Guy” because they’re EVIL! They usually get so cocky they tie the hero to a conveyor belt leading to his doom and leave to get a snack. Usually this results in:
a) The hero escaping.
b) Clean-up for the underlings.
c) The villain getting toasted.

#87) Law of Tableware Nonexistence - There IS no spoon.

#88) Law of Goofy Turn-Ons - In Hentai, ordinary pedestrian objects sometimes have the magical power of either inducing orgasm or arousal. Some include warm water, rolling on a smooth tabletop, wind, mild electrocution, the character toweling themselves after a bath/shower, and very cold objects... like bottles of 7-up.

#89) Law of Penile Variance - All Anime men in Hentai have a ridiculously large penis (lengths of 8, 9, 10 and 11 inches are most common). Some even have ones the size of telephone poles, despite the blood loss that would accompany it...

#90) Law of Hentai Female Characteristics - All Hentai women have the following characteristics:
1) Very sensitive and/or very large breasts with large nipples.
2) Very tight and/or sensitive vaginas.

#91) Law of Vaginal Variance - Hentai Anime women can take penis lengths of 8" and up... completely... despite the fact that they might have a tight and/or sensitive vagina.

#92) Law of Hero Identification - All heroes are introduced by way of appearance while someone talking about their (in)famous-ness, or by way of a voice-over of them introducing themselves.

#93) Law of Cute Mascots - Any anime either Shojo or Shonen has GOT to have at least one cute, furry little mascot by penalty of death!
First Corollary: If it is a Shonen Anime, the hero will be accompanied by a Dog, Cat or any kind of animal, real or fake, which would be found with a hero of the male persuasion. Any animal that would be associated with girls that is following him around is there because:
1) It’s his girlfriend’s.
2) It is following him, despite his insistence not to do so.
3) Chicks will dig him more.
Second Corollary- If it is a Shojo Anime, the heroine will be accompanied by a cat, cute lil’ mouse, or some disgustingly cute monster, or any kind of animal, real or fake, that would be found with a hero of the female persuasion. Any animal that would be associated with guys that is following her around is there because:
1) It’s her boyfriend’s.
2) It is following her, despite her insistence not to do so.
3) It makes her look cool.

#94) Law of The Force - Most Anime heroes are blessed with a unique sort of ability that enables bad things to happen to those that deserve it or makes things like bullets or debris totally miss them (Also referred to as "Dumb Luck"), even though they are mostly unaware of it. Those who have this ability include Vash the Stampede, Captain Justy Ueki Tylor, and Jar Jar Binks.

#95) Law of Naughty Tentacles - All Anime Tentacles are VERY horny and will rape any human female, regardless of age ("She’s 18! No! Really, she is! I’m not lying!...")
First Corollary: Even when raped or molested by tentacles, Hentai Anime girls eventually get into it & begin squealing in ecstasy. NO one knows WHY this is, but some theorize there may be some kind of chemical that is secreted through the skin of the tentacle...
Second Corollary: Women who are impregnated by a tentacle creature never experience morning sickness, and also find it to be intensely pleasurable (Also known as the Goofy Meter Redline Effect).
Third Corollary: Similarly, the resulting... offspring of tentacle/human relations is immediately sexually active, often impregnating its own mother again.

#96) Law of Cat-Fighting- Two females with a grudge can and will go at each other, sometimes ripping off clothes. Sometimes it escalates so much, that property damage begins to occur.
First Corollary: A running fight can be so destructive, you can follow it from a distance just by watching for the smoke. (Also known as the "A-ko/B-ko Thing")

#97) Law of Healing - Most anime heroes have a Wolverine-like healing factor that enables them to regenerate from a massive wound or broken bone within minutes. Being immortal sometimes helps. (Also known as the "Priss Effect")

#98) Law of Stereotype Crew Characteristics - All ships, either waterborne or spaceborne, has the following crew members:
1) The captain
2) His Lieutenant
3) Various female technical staff
4) A hotshot pilot
5) A cute little girl/twins (either stowaways or not)
6) The Doctor
7) The Doctor’s assistant (either a spy or not)
Weighted among the crew are various quirks which include:
1) Extreme coolness/luck
2) Amazing Intelligence
3) Incredible irritation
4) Extreme cuteness
5) Irresponsible drunkenness
6) Homophobic-ness
7) Emotionless (Uchiha Sasuke would be counted in this position.)

#99) Law of Sparkles - Whenever a character of the main character’s interest appears, flowers, sparkles, or abstract circles of pastel colors appear around said character, or both. Roses with exaggerated thorns appear when it is dangerous love. No one knows why this is, though most have a theory: Anime characters are freaks! At least, Marker Apenname seems to think so...

#100) Law of Anime Events - Much like the WWE (and other forms of Pro Wrestling), anything and everything can happen.

This was created by Insane Advocate and his two friends, as well as gatherings from various internet sources in order to help others understand the things that happen in anime (and manga). And so, to help others understand anime, after you have read this, if you wish you may copy and paste this to your profile. Thank you.

Ten Simple Rules for Dating My Daughter by Hyuuga Hiashi WRITTTEN BY SHAWNY WONG!!

Rule One: If you come up to gates of the Hyuuga estate and announce your presence you’d better be delivering an important message from the Hokage, because you’re sure not picking anything up.

Rule Two: You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter's body, I will remove them.

Rule Three: I am aware that it is considered practical for boys of your age to remove their shirts when they have been training for hours on end. Presumably, this is to ensure that you do not overheat while you are training outdoors. Please don’t take this as an insult but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. We do have air conditioned dojos and indoor training halls for a reason. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise: You may remove your shirts and tops whenever and wherever you want, and I will not object. However, in order to ensure that your pants do not, accidentally, come off during any time spent with my daughter, I will take my senbon and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist.

Rule Four: I'm sure you've been told that in today's world, sex with the wrong kunoichi can kill you. Let me elaborate, when it comes to sex, my daughter is that kunoichi, and I will kill you.

Rule Five: It is usually understood that in order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about recent missions, politics, and other issues of the day. Please do not do this. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is "early."

Rule Six: I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I will make you cry.

Rule Seven: As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process that can take longer than sculpting the Hokage Monument. Instead of just standing there, why don't you do something useful, like sweeping my floors?

Rule Eight: The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool. Places where there are no parents, ninja patrols, or nuns within eyesight. Places where there is darkness. Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness. Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka - zipped up to her throat. Movies with a strong romantic or sexual theme are to be avoided; movies which feature chainsaws are okay. Chunin exam tournaments are okay. Morino Ibiki’s interrogation chambers are better. (Speaking of which, Ibiki owes me a favor. Would you like me to make an appointment for you? It’s no trouble.)

Rule Nine: Do not lie to me. I am a master of the Byakugan – that makes me a living lie detector. I can see every involuntary twitch, every breath, and each bead of sweat on your face. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I have an army of elite Byakugan users at my beck and call. Do not trifle with me.

Rule Ten: Be afraid. Be very afraid. It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of your steps coming up to my front gate for an enemy Cloud ninja sent here to steal the secrets of the Byakugan. You remember what happened to the last Cloud ninja who crossed me, don’t you? Incidentally, I will be cleaning and polishing the family katana as I wait for you to bring my daughter home. As soon as you set one foot on my property you should submit yourself to a full body search by my guards, remove all hidden weapons from your person, and keep both hands in plain sight. Announce in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely and early, then leave - there is no need for you to come inside. You may not see me, but rest assured. I see you.

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Nightfall by freowin reviews
Naruto is stolen from the village and left to die in a forest. He is found on deaths door by a civilian family, but what will happen when Naruto witnesses their Murder and is found by Jiraiya in the Ruins of his old home. Strong Naruto, Rinnegan Naruto, NarutoXOC
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Adventure - Chapters: 140 - Words: 710,871 - Reviews: 4249 - Favs: 3,742 - Follows: 3,199 - Updated: 4/8 - Published: 9/29/2011 - Naruto U.
I can teach you if you want by Got a jar of dirt reviews
A few simple sentences can change a persons life; for better or for worse. Kakashi utters one of these simple sentences to a five year old Naruto in a chance meeting. How will this affect both their lives and the shinobi world as a whole? Brotherly!Kakashi, Believably Strong / Smart Naruto.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 9 - Words: 87,309 - Reviews: 738 - Favs: 1,367 - Follows: 1,791 - Updated: 4/3 - Published: 2/2 - [Naruto U., Kurotsuchi] Kakashi H.
This Is My Father's World by GenkaiFan reviews
In a desperate cry for help during the Graveyard scene, Harry receives help from his father. Only it isn't James Potter who answers! What if Harry not only had a Norse deity for a father, but was also a descendant of a Greek god as well? AU
Crossover - Harry Potter & Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: T - English - Family - Chapters: 7 - Words: 28,642 - Reviews: 667 - Favs: 1,597 - Follows: 2,140 - Updated: 3/20 - Published: 12/17/2013 - Harry P., Hades
Naruto the Chimera V2 by JK10 reviews
Naruto was fostered by Orochimaru on the fifth day of his birth. Orochimaru started to experiment on him at a young age. What happens when Naruto gets older and bloodlines start to appear. Naru/harem
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 12 - Words: 131,361 - Reviews: 279 - Favs: 851 - Follows: 900 - Updated: 3/17 - Published: 2/19/2012 - Naruto U.
To Shape and Change by Blueowl reviews
AU. Time Travel. Snape goes back in time, holding the knowledge of what is to come if he fails. No longer holding a grudge, he seeks to shape Harry into the greatest wizard of all time, starting on the day Hagrid took Harry to Diagon Alley. No Horcruxes.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 34 - Words: 232,332 - Reviews: 7440 - Favs: 10,364 - Follows: 9,482 - Updated: 3/16 - Published: 10/20/2010 - Harry P., Severus S. - Complete
Thaumaturgical Studies by Shenhua the Knife Lady reviews
Harry did not just receive a letter from Hogwarts, he also received a letter from the Mage's Association, Clock Tower Branch. Unlike Hogwarts that wasn't that...elaborative, the Mage's Association is...and its signed by someone named Kischur Zelretch Schweinorg. And his letter is more convincing than Hogwarts. So he signed up his name, and ran off to do his thing. To Clock Tower!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Supernatural/Adventure - Chapters: 11 - Words: 36,108 - Reviews: 171 - Favs: 498 - Follows: 521 - Updated: 3/14 - Published: 9/23/2013 - Harry P.
The Swarm Patriarch by Winter Feline reviews
Young man dies on earth, only to awaken in the body of a young man on a hostile world called Prime. Facing a new world of cruelty, he finds himself armed with the only thing vicious enough to promise him a chance to protect himself and his newly gained family. The Zerg Swarm. This tale was inspired by East Bridge's tale The Zerg Swarm.
StarCraft - Rated: M - English - Sci-Fi/Romance - Chapters: 35 - Words: 122,766 - Reviews: 398 - Favs: 427 - Follows: 466 - Updated: 2/28 - Published: 6/13/2012
Naruto: Heir of Whirlpool by Lord Rahl Master of D'Hara reviews
AU.The Uzumaki clan is not dead.They rule of one of the most powerful and influential nations in the world. What will they do when they find out they were lied to about the death of Kushina's child? The heir of whirlpool has been found. Naruto/Hinata.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 17 - Words: 83,822 - Reviews: 1876 - Favs: 3,090 - Follows: 3,148 - Updated: 2/27 - Published: 7/8/2011 - Naruto U., Hinata H.
Son of whirlpool by Jinsokuichi reviews
Naruto is killed by Uchiha Sasuke on the retrieval mission, or was he? From that moment on his life is forever changed as he bocomes a new legend like you have never seen before.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 38 - Words: 290,484 - Reviews: 1338 - Favs: 2,429 - Follows: 2,149 - Updated: 2/1 - Published: 12/6/2008 - Naruto U., Hinata H.
Shadow Gale by Impure Perfection reviews
When Naruto fails the academy for the second time and is having a bad day a certain ANBU shows up and helps him. After some hardcore summer school Naruto takes the academy, and the ninja world by storm. M for violence, language and of course future lemons
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 9 - Words: 63,502 - Reviews: 461 - Favs: 1,671 - Follows: 1,993 - Updated: 1/30 - Published: 5/7/2011 - Naruto U., Ino Y.
Alexandra Potter by Taure reviews
Fem!Harry AU. When she was seven years old, Alexandra Potter discovered she had special powers. She thought she was the only one, but then a letter comes and reveals to Alex a world she never knew existed. Will she become the hero so many believe her to be? Or will she lose herself to the temptations of power? Character-driven story, lots of world building. Not a canon rehash.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 14 - Words: 119,036 - Reviews: 305 - Favs: 551 - Follows: 602 - Updated: 1/23 - Published: 7/8/2012 - Harry P., Albus D., Susan B., OC - Complete
Students of the Snake by brown phantom reviews
Jiraiya and Tsunade were supposed to be the ones to watch over Naruto. What if that responsibility fell to Orochimaru instead? How will this affect both of them, and others? How will it affect Konoha? Eventual NaruHinaHarem, good Orochimaru.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Drama - Chapters: 78 - Words: 288,544 - Reviews: 3780 - Favs: 3,657 - Follows: 3,315 - Updated: 12/25/2013 - Published: 2/8/2010 - Naruto U., Hinata H.
The Snake Within by arkkitehti reviews
During the Christmas holidays of his fifth year Harry realizes that he should do something to keep things from spinning completely out of his control. He proceeds to make new allies and embraces his more Slytherin side to make use of his considerable resources.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 26 - Words: 161,938 - Reviews: 1049 - Favs: 2,729 - Follows: 2,971 - Updated: 12/25/2013 - Published: 3/2/2012 - [Harry P., Daphne G.] - Complete
Harry Potter and the Ultimate Force by DarkKing666 reviews
Asgard monitors all issued Prophecies quite closely. Occasionally, somebody needs to step in for some hands-on corrective action...
Crossover - Harry Potter & Oh My Goddess! - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Fantasy - Chapters: 16 - Words: 120,098 - Reviews: 540 - Favs: 1,369 - Follows: 1,611 - Updated: 12/21/2013 - Published: 2/17/2012 - Harry P.
Squad 7 and their Accidental Instructor by Older than Time reviews
Adopted with permission from Rorschach's Blot. Naruto sets out to retrieve his team's wayward sensei and comes back with...her?
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 11 - Words: 20,414 - Reviews: 583 - Favs: 1,625 - Follows: 1,749 - Updated: 12/7/2013 - Published: 9/7/2012 - Team Seven, Anko M.
SHADOW OF LIGHT by ravious light reviews
My Parents loved me a little for 15 months after birth. It was then i saved my siblings and their friends and they took credit. By age of 2 i was shunned and branded as squib. By 4 i was left alone in house. By age of 8 I was studying under greatest alchemist. I am Harry Potter. multiple cwl/Harry Flamel/elemental/ravenclaw/super powerful harry/Harry/padma/parvati Regular updates.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 28 - Words: 122,407 - Reviews: 754 - Favs: 879 - Follows: 1,148 - Updated: 11/27/2013 - Published: 7/19/2013 - Harry P., Parvati P., Padma P.
Harry Potter and the Grangers take on the world by mlieu2010 reviews
Harry and Hermione send their memories back to their younger selves to change the magical world for the better. Using economics and political power to achieve their goal. Weasley and Dumbledore bashing. HHR AU.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 64 - Words: 223,545 - Reviews: 1676 - Favs: 2,096 - Follows: 2,517 - Updated: 11/19/2013 - Published: 10/3/2011 - Harry P., Hermione G.
Ninja Who Lived by 88mph reviews
Harry dies at the end of Deathly Hallows and is reborn as Naruto. Now Harry is on the case of uncovering all the secrets around Naruto and deal with his enemies. Find out how Konoha deals with the Master of Death Ninja-in-training.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Naruto - Rated: M - English - Supernatural/Adventure - Chapters: 16 - Words: 77,566 - Reviews: 1217 - Favs: 3,399 - Follows: 3,613 - Updated: 11/12/2013 - Published: 9/22/2011 - Harry P.
Konoha's Maelstrom by Formulaic reviews
If you have ridiculous chakra reserves, a forbidden technique that enables brute force training, and an insatiable appetite for epic skills, what are the chances that you'll settle for mediocrity? A bit of insanity is a small price to pay for being awesome.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Adventure - Chapters: 6 - Words: 62,489 - Reviews: 419 - Favs: 1,306 - Follows: 1,415 - Updated: 11/9/2013 - Published: 7/15/2013 - Naruto U.
Champion by White Angel of Auralon reviews
Harry Potter isn't normal, he is highly intelligent and strives to become the best. Upon finding out about him being a wizard he has to decide if he wants to give up all the work he put into his studies to get a scholarship for a good secondary boarding school or take his place at Hogwarts.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 15 - Words: 106,207 - Reviews: 1306 - Favs: 2,972 - Follows: 2,857 - Updated: 10/27/2013 - Published: 12/1/2012 - Harry P. - Complete
HSD Naruto by JAYSEN reviews
Kakashi has just left Naruto to his fate against Neji, but what if the Sandaime was watching? What if Naruto had more family out there and they caught wind of this? OOC for some with Naru/small harem. Rated M for salty language.
Crossover - Naruto & Kenichi the Mightiest Disciple - Rated: M - English - Adventure - Chapters: 13 - Words: 88,483 - Reviews: 670 - Favs: 1,553 - Follows: 1,323 - Updated: 10/17/2013 - Published: 6/22/2010 - Naruto U.
Henry Black and the Memory of Death by Earl Lonsdale reviews
AU. Harry dies and learns the true meaning of being Master of Death. He goes to a new world as Henry Black to guide Harry Potter, who is neglected by his parents, and prevent him from going down the path of evil. Good Potters and Dumbledore. Different Dark Lord. Multi pairings. Hufflepuff explored.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama/Adventure - Chapters: 7 - Words: 35,504 - Reviews: 361 - Favs: 966 - Follows: 1,200 - Updated: 8/31/2013 - Published: 1/7/2013 - Harry P.
Firebird's Son by Darth Marrs reviews
He stepped into a world he didn't understand, following footprints he could not see, toward a destiny he could never imagine. How can one boy make a world brighter when it is so very dark to begin with? A completely AU Harry Potter universe.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Drama - Chapters: 40 - Words: 172,506 - Reviews: 3374 - Favs: 2,957 - Follows: 2,918 - Updated: 8/24/2013 - Published: 10/21/2012 - Harry P., Luna L. - Complete
The Ultimate Dojutsu by KyuubiGoku reviews
Naruto wants to be a shinobi. Kyuubi gives Naruto a new dojutsu. Watch Naruto master his new dojutsu as he shows everyone who has the ultimate bloodline. Naruto x Tsume/ Naruharem. Mini Kiba-harem.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 69 - Words: 633,700 - Reviews: 2173 - Favs: 3,063 - Follows: 2,386 - Updated: 8/21/2013 - Published: 12/4/2011 - Naruto U., Tsume I. - Complete
Is it Too Late? by Stephen Ratliff reviews
Loosely collected sequel scenes to Remuneration for Instructional Services.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 5 - Words: 4,686 - Reviews: 43 - Favs: 155 - Follows: 243 - Updated: 8/1/2013 - Published: 2/10/2013 - Harry P.
Uzumaki Legacy, Naruto clan by maverick9871 reviews
What if Pein decided to believe in family more then he did about bringing peace to the world. See how this view will change the life of Naruto and the rest of the world. Stronger smarter Naruto, harem.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Adventure - Chapters: 22 - Words: 81,004 - Reviews: 775 - Favs: 1,445 - Follows: 1,244 - Updated: 5/30/2013 - Published: 2/10/2011 - Naruto U.
Whirlpool Resurrection by devilzxknight86 reviews
Failing the graduation exam the third time. Naruto finds a letter left behind in the scroll of seals from his mother telling him her dream. Reading the letter he soon realize his mother village is out there waiting for someone like him to resurrect it. What new adventures will happen when he leaves Konoha to full fill this dream. N&H
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Adventure - Chapters: 13 - Words: 103,141 - Reviews: 361 - Favs: 912 - Follows: 877 - Updated: 5/18/2013 - Published: 12/21/2011 - Naruto U., Hinata H.
Harry Potter and the Accumulation of Power by Zyachta reviews
In the Chamber of Secrets, the basilisk venom had already been in his system for several minutes before Fawkes healed him, what if Fawkes was too late ? Super!Harry / Harry/Many / Gray Harry, rating for later chapters.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 20 - Words: 80,225 - Reviews: 1230 - Favs: 3,062 - Follows: 3,668 - Updated: 4/28/2013 - Published: 6/18/2011 - Harry P., Fawkes
Harry Stark of the Red Winter by oso1991 reviews
Harry fell through the veil due to a battle in the Ministry many years after the fall of Voldemort. Sent through time and space, he fell in the lands of Westeros as a young child. Raised under the protection of Lord Stark, how will Harry change the game?
Crossover - Harry Potter & Game of Thrones - Rated: M - English - Adventure - Chapters: 6 - Words: 61,470 - Reviews: 638 - Favs: 2,004 - Follows: 2,284 - Updated: 4/12/2013 - Published: 5/23/2012 - Harry P., Eddard S.
Remuneration for Instructional Services by Stephen Ratliff reviews
Investigation into the disparity in grades in Defense Against the Dark Arts after Harry Potter's Fifth Year results in a little extra cash for Harry Potter
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,559 - Reviews: 73 - Favs: 382 - Follows: 121 - Published: 1/11/2013 - Harry P. - Complete
The Zerg Swarm by East Bridge reviews
After being struck by lightning, a young man of Earth woke up in a barbaric and hostile world. His only tool of survival: the ability to spawn the Zerg swarm.
StarCraft - Rated: T - English - Sci-Fi/Romance - Chapters: 25 - Words: 79,121 - Reviews: 487 - Favs: 800 - Follows: 581 - Updated: 1/10/2013 - Published: 5/11/2011 - Complete
Harry Potter and the Delightful Dilemma by sheltie reviews
Reposted. After Fourth year Hermione decides to take action in helping Harry beat Voldemort. Harry/harem. Now Complete with Epilogue.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 20 - Words: 70,567 - Reviews: 218 - Favs: 671 - Follows: 388 - Updated: 12/21/2012 - Published: 6/15/2012 - Harry P. - Complete
Kyuubi's apprentice by mrpeeples reviews
On Naruto's eleventh Birthday, he is being beaten by a mob of men. Laying unconciouss, Naruto is taken into his mind by Kyuubi, who then does something unexpected. Naru/Hina, Changed rating to Tfor now and for language, I will hold of on lemons and gore until further notice with the ongoing attempt at censorship. Sasuke is OOC slightly.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 20 - Words: 51,915 - Reviews: 148 - Favs: 268 - Follows: 297 - Updated: 12/11/2012 - Published: 10/30/2010 - Naruto U., Hinata H.
Black Heir by Hawk reviews
This is the Hawk-style version of the heavily overused Harry-gets-a-letter-from-dead-Sirius plotline and stuff happens due to this. Hopefully a good read in spite of this boring premise...
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 14 - Words: 79,306 - Reviews: 281 - Favs: 767 - Follows: 937 - Updated: 11/24/2012 - Published: 11/11/2012 - Harry P., Narcissa M.
The Cult of Dionysus by Ynyr reviews
The blood wards around Privet Drive have a disastrous effect on Harry Potter's magical development, leaving him unable to use a wand. But there are other kinds of magic, and other paths to power. Harry/many witches. No horcruxes.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Supernatural - Chapters: 28 - Words: 107,613 - Reviews: 664 - Favs: 975 - Follows: 784 - Updated: 11/12/2012 - Published: 8/17/2012 - Harry P., Su L. - Complete
Demon's Luck by Half Baked Cat reviews
Naruto stumbles across a weekly high stakes poker game. He walks away set to have a happy childhood. How will this affect his future career as a ninja?
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 5 - Words: 29,529 - Reviews: 190 - Favs: 887 - Follows: 1,042 - Updated: 9/26/2012 - Published: 6/23/2012 - Naruto U.
Take No Umbridge I: As Umbridge Sees it by Stephen Ratliff reviews
Harry Potter discovers that his being Triwizard Champion has some unexpected benefits regarding the teaching of Madame Umbridge.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 7 - Words: 7,601 - Reviews: 184 - Favs: 520 - Follows: 471 - Updated: 9/12/2012 - Published: 3/30/2012 - Dolores U. - Complete
Betrayal by Jay-Jay12393 reviews
Naruto grows up with the knowledge to defend himself from all people, with the Kyuubi as his sensei we'll see just how far he can go in his journey. but on the way he gets betrayed by someone he should have known was going to do it eventually NaruHaku R&R
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 37 - Words: 197,867 - Reviews: 643 - Favs: 730 - Follows: 591 - Updated: 8/30/2012 - Published: 6/29/2010 - Naruto U., Haku
A True Daughter of the Black by Ynyr reviews
After the war is over Harry wants to protect his godson Teddy Lupin, but he isn't sure how. Mrs Tonks has a few interesting suggestions for him.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Drama - Chapters: 16 - Words: 60,218 - Reviews: 418 - Favs: 731 - Follows: 483 - Updated: 8/14/2012 - Published: 7/5/2012 - Harry P., Luna L., Andromeda T. - Complete
Outcast by ShayNiccals reviews
Kya lives in the Norther Water tribe with her sister and father. In a society were everything is the same...Kya feels different. And she is...in more ways then one.
Avatar: Last Airbender - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 31 - Words: 37,861 - Reviews: 62 - Favs: 141 - Follows: 101 - Updated: 7/8/2012 - Published: 8/20/2011 - Zuko, OC - Complete
Sex Education: Anko Mitarashi Style by The Digger reviews
Anko Mitarashi has been chosen to teach at the Ninja Academy for the next year. And to the academy's dismay, she's teaching Sex Ed! Complete
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 21 - Words: 156,736 - Reviews: 465 - Favs: 885 - Follows: 574 - Updated: 7/4/2012 - Published: 8/18/2011 - Anko M. - Complete
Letters by TheEndless7 reviews
Students are required to write to a pen pal in the spirit of 'International Cooperation.' New friendships and a new romance arise going into the fourth year at Hogwarts.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 21 - Words: 189,865 - Reviews: 1961 - Favs: 4,020 - Follows: 2,208 - Updated: 6/25/2012 - Published: 12/6/2010 - Harry P., Fleur D. - Complete
Hinata's Problem by Power of Touch reviews
When she was just a baby Hinata was heavily affected by the Kyuubi's chakra she needs to be near Naruto. Now he's returned from his training trip and the need has grown to be very, very powerful. Lemons in later chapters, you have been warned. Naruhina
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 14 - Words: 100,465 - Reviews: 548 - Favs: 772 - Follows: 762 - Updated: 6/12/2012 - Published: 4/2/2012 - Naruto U., Hinata H.
Broken Seals, Second Chances by Alistor reviews
The Curse Seal of Heaven. It was a slave collar, a leash to a master that caused nothing but pain. When Jiraiya found a way to remove it, Anko jumped at the chance. But no one anticipated the consequences. AU NaruAnko Rated M for Language, possible lemons
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 18 - Words: 82,044 - Reviews: 557 - Favs: 1,795 - Follows: 1,872 - Updated: 6/6/2012 - Published: 3/11/2010 - Naruto U., Anko M.
A Father's Gift by darn2k reviews
Instead of just sealing their consciousness into Naruto as a one time thing, what would happen if someone pointed out to Minato how the villagers would most likely treat Naruto and he made preparations to protect him. Smart/Strong Naruto. M to be careful.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 13 - Words: 152,171 - Reviews: 680 - Favs: 1,828 - Follows: 1,891 - Updated: 6/4/2012 - Published: 3/5/2012 - Naruto U.
The Familiar of Zero Trouble In Paradise by King-0-Hell reviews
Saito takes Louise to see his world, and to meet his parents... utter hilarity follows as their friends also make an unexpected appearance. First fan fic, so feedback greatly appreciated
Familiar of Zero - Rated: K - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 9 - Words: 23,059 - Reviews: 48 - Favs: 53 - Follows: 64 - Updated: 6/2/2012 - Published: 4/12/2012 - Louise, Saito
Harry Potter and the Sun Source by Clell65619 reviews
This is an extremely AU crossover fic that asks the question what might have happened if Petunia Dursley hadn't found a young Harry Potter sleeping on her doorstep on the morning of the 2nd of November 1981. After all, Dumbledore was a bit careless with
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 10 - Words: 111,868 - Reviews: 2013 - Favs: 4,901 - Follows: 3,744 - Updated: 5/3/2012 - Published: 9/11/2008 - Harry P. - Complete
Partially Kissed Hero by Perfect Lionheart reviews
Summer before third year Harry has a life changing experience, and a close encounter with a dementor ends with him absorbing the horcrux within him. Features Harry with a backbone.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Fantasy/Humor - Chapters: 103 - Words: 483,646 - Reviews: 14047 - Favs: 6,957 - Follows: 6,228 - Updated: 4/28/2012 - Published: 5/6/2008 - Harry P.
Q by OniRudra37 reviews
Naruto is confused, he never knew the answers to the questions he really wanted, so he turned to his own body to sate his knowledge, he would know his entire body from the teacher of the knife. But will a young hyuuga heiress let him do this his own
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Suspense - Chapters: 10 - Words: 61,174 - Reviews: 71 - Favs: 130 - Follows: 126 - Updated: 4/20/2012 - Published: 5/16/2010 - Naruto U., Hinata H.
I Am Your Slave by Ten Commandments reviews
Ayame is almost, and I quote, almost raped by a group of men, and escapes into the arms of Naruto. After saving her life she loses her memory due to her bruises and starts believing she is his slave. NarutoxAyame. some lemons. off hiatus
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 13 - Words: 20,573 - Reviews: 312 - Favs: 868 - Follows: 771 - Updated: 4/1/2012 - Published: 8/14/2008 - Naruto U., Ayame - Complete
The Queen who fell to Earth by Bobmin356 reviews
Forced to compete and abandoned by his friends, he steps from the tent with only one goal in mind, suicide. Instead Harry awakens a power that spans time and space and starts a war between the worlds.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Dragonriders of Pern series - Rated: M - English - Drama/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 18 - Words: 302,411 - Reviews: 2328 - Favs: 3,466 - Follows: 2,093 - Updated: 3/26/2012 - Published: 11/28/2011 - Harry P. - Complete
Journey Through the Dark by Earl Lonsdale reviews
AU 4th year. Spurned by everyone, Harry accepts Bagman's help, taking the 1st step towards greatness. Elements: charms-prodigy, no-bashing, manipulative but good Dumbledore, dragons, unspeakables, HarrySusan, Ginny-friendship. Oh, the veil is a hellmouth.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Fantasy/Drama - Chapters: 7 - Words: 68,917 - Reviews: 684 - Favs: 2,095 - Follows: 2,494 - Updated: 2/27/2012 - Published: 6/12/2010 - Harry P., Susan B.
Sexplosion by Meinos Kaen reviews
As we all know, when the Yondaime sealed the Kyuubi, Konoha should have gotten away from it without any more collateral damage than what it had already incurred in, but... Demons are a malicious bunch. Adopted from Legendary Legacy.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 10 - Words: 81,826 - Reviews: 376 - Favs: 974 - Follows: 888 - Updated: 1/22/2012 - Published: 12/12/2010 - Naruto U., Ayame
Triwizard Tales by Clell65619 reviews
- At 14, Harry Potter really wasn't prepared for the Triwizard Tournament, but if he was forced to compete he was going to do his very best.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 6 - Words: 38,772 - Reviews: 1232 - Favs: 3,384 - Follows: 1,378 - Updated: 1/11/2012 - Published: 11/29/2011 - Harry P., Susan B. - Complete
Discarded by GatsuBerk reviews
Cast aside like the dog Louise always claimed, Saito is forced to walk a different path. Can a freeman learn to learn to live in a world of magic and nobility? Who can he trust? Who must he fight, and can he ever find love? Rated M just to be sure.
Familiar of Zero - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Fantasy - Chapters: 12 - Words: 78,894 - Reviews: 222 - Favs: 494 - Follows: 415 - Updated: 12/29/2011 - Published: 2/14/2011 - Saito
The Flamel's and the Stone by magical fan18 reviews
I ADOPTED THIS FIC FROM ANOTHER Author and hope you like it. Harry finds a family in an Alchemist and a kind witch as they both discover the future of how their lives may be told with some others along the way.BOOK READING WITH A LITTLE BIT OF STORY TELLING.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Mystery/Family - Chapters: 20 - Words: 131,090 - Reviews: 117 - Favs: 180 - Follows: 113 - Updated: 11/28/2011 - Published: 4/7/2011 - Harry P., Perenelle F., Nicolas F. - Complete
Kurenai Pride by maverick9871 reviews
When Naruto confronts Kakashi at the hospital, Kurenai steps in with something to say herself. See how this one event changes the future and why a kunoichi's pride can be the most deadly weapon ever.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Adventure - Chapters: 4 - Words: 19,724 - Reviews: 294 - Favs: 957 - Follows: 971 - Updated: 11/28/2011 - Published: 8/28/2011 - Naruto U., Kurenai Y.
Harry the Hufflepuff 2 by BajaB reviews
Lazy!Harry is back, and not doing very much at all...
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 23,642 - Reviews: 672 - Favs: 1,908 - Follows: 884 - Updated: 10/5/2011 - Published: 8/28/2011 - Complete
The Black Death of Konoha by afydith reviews
Naruto has a life changing experience during the wave mission and his life takes a drastic turn. This will be a NaruHina mainly fix, might be a Harem later on other pairs too. Stay tuned for the sequel :
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 36 - Words: 107,503 - Reviews: 702 - Favs: 1,419 - Follows: 800 - Updated: 7/31/2011 - Published: 11/22/2010 - Hinata H., Naruto U. - Complete
Myrddin Emrys Returns by General Kenobi SIYE reviews
Souls don't always live just once. They can return, typically in a time of crisis, if they are deemed worthy. This is about two such souls. Separated by houses. Will they find each other again? Will they even know? One Gryffindor, one Slytherin.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 41 - Words: 144,494 - Reviews: 1522 - Favs: 2,584 - Follows: 1,704 - Updated: 6/28/2011 - Published: 9/1/2010 - Harry P., Daphne G. - Complete
An Inconvenient Truth by old-crow reviews
After the events in third year, the wizarding world grows darker. Fudge seems intent on spending more time covering up what's happening than dealing with it. Could a stronger relationship between Harry and the Bones family change history?
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Drama - Chapters: 25 - Words: 173,313 - Reviews: 1925 - Favs: 2,420 - Follows: 2,190 - Updated: 6/27/2011 - Published: 5/24/2009 - Harry P., Susan B.
The Missing Hokage by Jonque reviews
My answer to Perfect Lionheart's Missing Hokage challenge. A different take on the usual Naruto-is-kicked-out plot line, in which Tsunade refuses to let her reason for returning get thrown out without fighting back. With apologies, this story is officially dead and discontinued.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Adventure - Chapters: 26 - Words: 256,548 - Reviews: 1385 - Favs: 2,433 - Follows: 2,333 - Updated: 5/29/2011 - Published: 7/21/2008 - Naruto U., Tsunade S.
Triwizard Champions by chris400ad reviews
Fleur Delacour has only known love from her family. But that's all about to change when she arrives at Hogwarts for the Triwizard Tournament. AU
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 18 - Words: 64,034 - Reviews: 524 - Favs: 1,608 - Follows: 1,073 - Updated: 5/7/2011 - Published: 12/5/2010 - Harry P., Fleur D. - Complete
Life Sucks, Then You Die by Radaslab reviews
Hermione begins to learn the truth after Harry is named a Tri-Wizard Champion. The solution is not what either extect. Mostly H/HR but it won't seem so. Some Ron and Dumbledore BASHING, but not much...
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 34 - Words: 254,864 - Reviews: 2336 - Favs: 2,215 - Follows: 2,466 - Updated: 3/31/2011 - Published: 7/10/2010 - Harry P., Hermione G.
Junior Fire Guardian by maverick9871 reviews
The Fire lord gets involved in the life of Naruto Uzumaki after he see's just how far the people of Konoha ignore the final wishes of the Yondaime. See what effect this has on Naruto and the rest of the world. Look out world, here comes a new Naruto.harem
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Adventure - Chapters: 8 - Words: 34,689 - Reviews: 246 - Favs: 803 - Follows: 734 - Updated: 3/13/2011 - Published: 1/9/2011 - Naruto U.
Dobby's Warning by The Unusual Suspect reviews
A light hearted attempt at finding out what would have happened if Harry had listened to Dobby in his second year. If you are looking for a serious fanfic, then this is not for you!
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Parody/Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,068 - Reviews: 82 - Favs: 167 - Follows: 48 - Updated: 2/21/2011 - Published: 2/19/2011 - Harry P., Hermione G. - Complete
The Bonds of Blood by Darth Marrs reviews
YASBF Yet Another Soul Bond Fic starting with the Chamber of Secrets. Harry and Ginny have to learn to live with a bond that steals away their privacy and leaves them dependent on each other and frightened for their future.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 52 - Words: 191,956 - Reviews: 3950 - Favs: 2,852 - Follows: 1,839 - Updated: 1/15/2011 - Published: 10/11/2009 - Harry P., Ginny W. - Complete
Harry Prongs Tatum by Silverfawkes reviews
on hiatus AU They left him on a doorstep and he wandered away.Features Independent Stubborn Harry and pokes fun at the foibles of the magical world.Rating for occasional language.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 18 - Words: 88,802 - Reviews: 1807 - Favs: 3,454 - Follows: 4,082 - Updated: 12/22/2010 - Published: 5/28/2010 - Harry P.
Harry the Hufflepuff by BajaB reviews
Luckily, lazy came up in Petunia's tirades slightly more often than freak, otherwise, this could have been a very different story. AU. Not your usual Hufflepuff!Harry story.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 29,145 - Reviews: 1086 - Favs: 4,000 - Follows: 1,377 - Updated: 12/4/2010 - Published: 11/10/2010 - Harry P. - Complete
Onikage by eroseniye reviews
history of namikaze uzumaki naruto ,watch him develop in shinobi world, he will develop a new dojutsu,the most powerful one,with the help of demon fox sealed in it,he'll gather powerful ninja in leaf village for his plans: create new village. naru X harem
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Fantasy - Chapters: 61 - Words: 121,593 - Reviews: 560 - Favs: 911 - Follows: 630 - Updated: 11/24/2010 - Published: 9/26/2009 - Naruto U., Anko M.
The Hill of Swords by gabriel blessing reviews
When Louise Valliere performed her summons for her familiar, she certainly didn't expect for it to be a human! Strangely enough, the boy she summoned, Shirou Emiya, didn't expect to get summoned so soon. He hadn't even died yet!
Crossover - Fate/stay night & Familiar of Zero - Rated: M - English - Fantasy - Chapters: 23 - Words: 356,642 - Reviews: 2098 - Favs: 3,612 - Follows: 1,186 - Updated: 11/17/2010 - Published: 7/18/2010 - Shirō E., Louise - Complete
Outcast's Alley by RhiannanT reviews
When Harry goes through some changes the summer before his Fifth year, his relatives don't react well. Suddenly Harry finds himself homeless and alone, and learning to cope with yet another whole new world he'd never known existed. creature, royalty
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama/Adventure - Chapters: 16 - Words: 104,860 - Reviews: 1068 - Favs: 2,694 - Follows: 1,411 - Updated: 9/23/2010 - Published: 12/29/2009 - Harry P. - Complete
A little help from heaven by maverick9871 reviews
The night of the forbidden scroll incident Naruto wasn't alone when he practiced that night. Someone watched from the cabin and it change not only both thier futures but the worlds. NarutoXTenten
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Adventure - Chapters: 26 - Words: 175,699 - Reviews: 893 - Favs: 1,342 - Follows: 801 - Updated: 9/18/2010 - Published: 4/18/2010 - Naruto U., Tenten - Complete
How To Bring Down A Dark Lord: Black Style by Miss Mercury101 reviews
What if Sirius remembered his roots after James and Lily's deaths? What he went about his revenge in a more...Slytherin manner?
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Family - Chapters: 5 - Words: 24,302 - Reviews: 129 - Favs: 411 - Follows: 256 - Updated: 9/10/2010 - Published: 6/6/2010 - Sirius B., Walburga B. - Complete
People Lie by Nugar reviews
Lies have power. They can change a simple-minded believer into a two-faced schemer and a timid follower into a fanatical devotee. They can change a child angry at the world into a man consumed by more than vengeance. But that power is a lie as well.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 34 - Words: 286,222 - Reviews: 2256 - Favs: 2,771 - Follows: 2,142 - Updated: 7/25/2010 - Published: 8/24/2007 - Naruto U., Hinata H.
The Hokage's Will by Airheaded dude reviews
The aftermath of Pain’s attack left Tsunade in comatose, Danzo's plot of becoming Hokage is thwarted by Naruto himself. With the doubts that the Lord of Fire has placed on Danzo, Naruto is suddenly left inheriting the mantle of Hokage before the Summit.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 15 - Words: 122,798 - Reviews: 1667 - Favs: 3,526 - Follows: 3,036 - Updated: 6/27/2010 - Published: 10/12/2009 - Naruto U.
Nargelites by PerfesserN reviews
A Harry / Luna / Hermione story that begs the question, what would have happened if Harry had met Luna before either of them attended Hogwarts? Also, what if Harry reminded Severus Snape of Lily Evans, rather than James Potter?
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Adventure - Chapters: 15 - Words: 68,832 - Reviews: 1062 - Favs: 1,630 - Follows: 2,006 - Updated: 6/10/2010 - Published: 3/6/2010 - Harry P., Luna L.
Eléonore in love by Hyakimaru reviews
The love story of Eléonore de la Vallière, or how the ice queen melts and falls in love... Rated T for sexual references.
Familiar of Zero - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 20 - Words: 26,761 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 4/3/2010 - Published: 2/16/2010 - Eleanor - Complete
The Forever Mage by Darth Marrs reviews
Harry Potter/ST:NG era post movies crossover. A young man with messy hair and green eyes finds himself in the middle of 24th Century Scotland with no memories. Join him as he tries to solve not only who he is, but where his people are.
Crossover - StarTrek: The Next Generation & Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Drama/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 24 - Words: 102,957 - Reviews: 1236 - Favs: 1,620 - Follows: 759 - Updated: 3/13/2010 - Published: 9/26/2009 - Harry P. - Complete
The Truth by Clell65619 reviews
On his 16th birthday Dumbledore presents Harry with a little surprize. He's just gotten married.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Family/Drama - Chapters: 3 - Words: 37,135 - Reviews: 359 - Favs: 834 - Follows: 433 - Updated: 1/21/2010 - Published: 10/14/2009 - Harry P. - Complete
Tell Me You're Pretty by Paladeus reviews
Hermione walks in on Harry while bathing in the RoR after a workout. Not wanting things to be tense, he stops her rush from leaving and they talk so things don't get weird between them. Though they do get heated. H/Hr Lemon Harmony
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,037 - Reviews: 120 - Favs: 856 - Follows: 185 - Published: 10/6/2009 - Harry P., Hermione G. - Complete
Harry Potter and the Four Founders by Darth Marrs reviews
In which Harry discovers there is more to being the Heir of the Four Founders than than just having really cool tattoos. Powerful Harry, Multi-Ship. Post OOTP. No Slash.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Fantasy - Chapters: 30 - Words: 122,615 - Reviews: 1841 - Favs: 3,732 - Follows: 1,611 - Updated: 9/19/2009 - Published: 12/29/2008 - Harry P. - Complete
The Power by DarthBill reviews
Harry has been feeling lethargic since his tenth birthday when suddenly he has more energy than he needs. AU story for all seven years. HarryMulti nothing serious. SmartPowerful!Harry.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 25 - Words: 48,757 - Reviews: 1491 - Favs: 3,505 - Follows: 1,988 - Updated: 8/25/2009 - Published: 1/26/2006 - Harry P. - Complete
A Few Angry Words by lord of the land of fire reviews
A few angry words from Neji lead to a great many changes: “Hiashi-sama,” Naruto bowed once more. “I ask you to make a bargain with me.” To be with the girl he loves he makes a bet. The stakes? Only his future and his dream. Nar X Hin
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 61 - Words: 172,186 - Reviews: 5779 - Favs: 3,231 - Follows: 1,676 - Updated: 5/7/2009 - Published: 5/12/2008 - Naruto U., Hinata H. - Complete
Aspirations by megamatt09 reviews
AU. Harry is shunned not only Ron, but Hermione as well after the Goblet of Fire incident. Ginny befriends Harry and history changes. Future Dark!Harry Dark!Ginny pairing, extended summary inside. Note from 2012: I'm not a huge fan of this story now, but leaving it up for historical purposes for those who do enjoy it.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 55 - Words: 371,805 - Reviews: 3162 - Favs: 3,887 - Follows: 1,588 - Updated: 1/24/2009 - Published: 9/18/2008 - Harry P., Ginny W. - Complete
Thank You Ms Bones by old-crow reviews
Post OoTP Harry's life takes an unexpected turn when Fawkes provides Harry with a means of mobility. Ch 32 concludes the final six-chapter arc. Forget Book 7.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Drama - Chapters: 32 - Words: 154,157 - Reviews: 2158 - Favs: 2,613 - Follows: 1,383 - Updated: 9/14/2008 - Published: 11/5/2006 - Susan B., Harry P. - Complete
Ruthless Revenge by Yunaine reviews
Harry overhears Ginny plotting to force him in a situation that he has to marry her. Instead of going to useless teachers Harry decides to do some plotting of his own... - Set during seventh year; Harry/Daphne
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,933 - Reviews: 275 - Favs: 2,222 - Follows: 429 - Published: 7/8/2008 - [Harry P., Daphne G.] - Complete
Yes, Minister by Taure reviews
A new Muggle Prime Minister has been elected, and it's time for him to meet the Minister for Magic. Only, things don't go quite as smoothly as normal...One shot
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Suspense/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,242 - Reviews: 180 - Favs: 758 - Follows: 134 - Published: 6/13/2008 - Complete
The Art of the Deal by Case13 reviews
No one starts on top of the world. Bereft of his dream, or even a chance for it, Uzumaki Naruto starts his own path to the top of the world.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Adventure - Chapters: 4 - Words: 38,546 - Reviews: 1127 - Favs: 2,599 - Follows: 2,351 - Updated: 5/23/2008 - Published: 5/5/2007 - Naruto U., Anko M.
Luna's Hubby by Meteoricshipyards reviews
7 year old Luna wants a husband, and she wants one now. With the unintended help of her befuddled father, she kidnaps Harry Potter. Idea and 1st chapter by Roscharch's Blot
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 21 - Words: 195,952 - Reviews: 1904 - Favs: 3,224 - Follows: 1,523 - Updated: 1/14/2008 - Published: 5/2/2006 - Harry P., Luna L. - Complete
Art of Sheathing Swords by Ten Commandments reviews
Naruto and Tenten go on a vacation in Wave after the mission in Suna, and two women gives him more than a confession. Naruto x Tsunami x Tenten. lemon fic.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 7 - Words: 26,201 - Reviews: 148 - Favs: 601 - Follows: 278 - Updated: 12/23/2007 - Published: 8/31/2007 - Naruto U., Tenten, Tsunami - Complete
Time to Fix the Mistakes by DisobedienceWriter reviews
ABANDONED. Two years after the Death Hallows Epilogue, tragedy strikes Harry Potter and his family. The only way to set things right is to journey back to the time before he was born. Not for Ginny enthusiasts. Time Travel. Avenging!Harry.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Tragedy/Adventure - Chapters: 7 - Words: 43,468 - Reviews: 403 - Favs: 819 - Follows: 901 - Updated: 10/21/2007 - Published: 9/25/2007 - Harry P. - Complete
A Second Chance at Life by Miranda Flairgold reviews
When Voldemort’s assassins find him Harry flees seeking a place to prepare for the battle. Bloodmagic, wandlessmagic, necromancy, fae, a thunderbird, demons, vampires. Harry finds the strength & allies to win a war. Singularly unique fic.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Adventure - Chapters: 35 - Words: 251,462 - Reviews: 4241 - Favs: 5,650 - Follows: 1,914 - Updated: 7/22/2006 - Published: 7/17/2005 - Complete