Author has written 4 stories for Percy Jackson and the Olympians.
I am the girl that doesn't often go to school dances, or games, and when I do go, my friends make me dance or I sit in a corner and read a book. I am the girl that people look at weirdly when I say something. I am the girl that spends most of her free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most people wouldn't call normal. I am the girl that people call weird and a freak either behind my back or to my face. I am the girl that doesn't spend all her time on Facebook, or talking to a girlfriend on a cell phone or regular phone. I am the girl that hasn't ever been asked out. I am the girl that has stopped to smell the flowers and jump and splash in the rain. BUT I am also the girl who knows and is proud to be who she is, doesn’t care if people call her weird (it's a compliment), who loves reading and writing and doing the things that no one seems to have the time to do any more, who loves and is obsessed with Percy Jackson, who can express herself better with words than actions, who doesn't need a guy to complete her, and knows the importance of the little things.
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
7. My mother taught t me IRONY.
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
19. My mother taught me ESP.
20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
25. And my favourite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
FRIENDS: Will comfort you when he rejects you.
BEST FRIENDS: Will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"
FRIENDS: Will be there for you when he breaks up with you.
BEST FRIENDS: Will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..."
FRIENDS: Helps you up when you fall.
BEST FRIENDS: Keeps on walking saying, "Walk much, dumb ass?"
FRIENDS: Helps you find your prince.
BEST FRIENDS: Kidnaps him and brings him to you.
FRIENDS: Will ask you if you're okay when you're crying.
BEST FRIENDS: Will laugh at you and say, "Ha Ha, Loser!"
FRIENDS: Will offer you a soda.
BEST FRIENDS: Will dump theirs on you.
FRIENDS: Will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month.
BEST FRIENDS: Will throw you a tampon and push you in.
FRIENDS: Gives you their umbrella in the rain.
BEST FRIENDS: Takes yours and says, "Run - beep - run!"
FRIENDS: Will help you move.
BEST FRIENDS: Will help you move the bodies.
FRIENDS: Will bail you out of jail.
BEST FRIENDS: Would be in the room next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!"
FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.
BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.
FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.
BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!
FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail.
BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you saying "DAMN!" we messed up!
FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.
BEST FRIENDS: Wont tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore.
FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.
BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.
FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.
BEST FRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."
FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.
BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...
FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you
FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.
BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."
FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.
BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.
FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college. (aka: drinking buddies)
BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.
FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough.
BEST FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place & say "Girl drink the rest of that ! You know we don't waste!"
THINGS I LOVE
a. PJO and HoO
d. I'm gonna stop the list here
a. Almost any kind of music
b. Not a huge fan of country though
c. I love One Direction
3. Top Six Colors
d. Most anything
e. Is writing considered art?
THINGS I HATE
1. Having to wait an agonizing year for a book (RR)
2. Homework (I may love school and am a bit of
a nerd but I hate homework )
4. Having to wake up at 6:30 5 days a week
5. Drama (my friends need to calm the hell down)
THINGS I AM
1. Nerd (and proud of it)
2. Teenager (I'm not telling u my exact age stalkers)
3. Girl (I am not a girly girl)
4. Procrastinator (I'm working on it)
5. A huge bookworm
Okay, so, here we go.
Name: Stalker Much? Oh, I’m just kidding. One day I hope to make a living off you crazy stalkers.
Hair color: Dark brown.
Eye Color: It Depends On Where You Stand- Dark brown When You’re Up Close and Onyx When You’re Far Away
Favorite Color: Blue to Wear and Silver Otherwise
Favorite Song: Damn, this is hard. Hmm... Well, I always love "C'mon" by Panic at the Disco.
Favorite Band: Panic at the Disco, All American Rejects, Little Mix, and One Direction! (Finally one I can answer!)
Favorite Book Series: Dang, I used to love The House of Night books. But I also love Harry Potter. But really, as you can tell by all the stories I have for it, I love PERCY JACKSON!
Favorite Book Not Including Percy Jackson, Of Course: Hard one. I think for right now, my favorite is "Tigers Curse"
Favorite Past Time: Hmm... writing! Oh, not including that? I guess, screaming out the lyrics to a song I love with my headphones in and forgetting people are around me...You wouldn't believe how many times that happens! And reading.
Girly or Tomboy: Not girly. But not tomboy. I'd have to say One of the Guys.
Type Of Guy:Is a Percy Jackson twin out of the question? ;D
Things I Secretly Love: Ankle boots, curling irons, lockets, Twilight (If you tell my guy friends, I will track you down and kill you), cute dresses (Not so secret anymore since I wear them all the time), and...boy bands! (Oh my God! I just lost all my kick-ass, rock-blasting, one-of-the-guys cred! Tell NO ONE!)
Age: 1-100 take a wild guess
Favorite Boy Band: I have the One Direction Infection! I actually found out about them when I was in Rochester for a volleyball game, and I loved WHAT MAKES YOU BEAUTIFUL (Though I love HALF A HEART most now). I remembered thinking it was sad that they were so good but stuck touring with Big Time Rush. But now they're in Madison Square Garden!
Favorite Other Band: Well, I love Green Day and We The Kings, but my heart belongs to Brandon Urie and Panic at the Disco and One Direction!!!
Siblings: 3 brothers and 1 sister but I ignore their presence whenever they are near.
Dreams: As a kid, I've been told that I could do anything, and I'm damned determined to prove those people right. I want to write, no matter what. It's kind of my family duty to go into the medical or business field, and it's a calling too. But, as a child of a businesswoman, I know that it'd be impossible really to raise a family, which I want to do, and be a doctor or a businesswoman. So, I'd like to be a professor at a good college and take time to write, too. But, if not that, I would love to become an author and continue to write my teenage-aimed books; if that doesn't work out, I wanna be an architect :D
Catchphrase: "Congratulations" I'm not sarcastic at all, huh? ;D
Word Best to Describe Me: Hmm... Surprising. I would have to say surprising. I'm quiet and intimidating, but, once you've earned my trust, I'm talkative and easy to hang around. Cunning and cautious but I also take crazy leaps of faith. It'll bounce of off me when you attack me, but I become as mean as a snake when you attack my friends. Fearless until you get me around spiders and relationships. Proud but I'll also want to just forgive and forget.
The Thing I Love Most: I love electronics. I like figuring them out. I like playing games, I like writing. I'm a geek!
The Thing I Hate Most: Reminding yourself that trust leads to betrayal but watching someone come in and make you believe again. Until it falls apart again...
Jasper or Jeyna?: Oh God... I hoped to avoid this one. I was totally Jasper in the Lost Hero, but I am a true "Jeyna" girl now. Jason just doesn't feel... I don't know, complete yet. And something just felt off with them in Mark of Athena. And, when Jason can't be sure of anything at the end of The Lost Hero, as everything begins to come back, but that he can be absolutely sure that there was a girl named Reyna and that she meant something to him, I just think that means something...
Cell Phone Number: You’re Kidding Me, Right?
The girl who hates dances and sport games. When I do go, I end up in the corner with a book.
The girl who instead of pretending to pay attention in class is listening to every word and imprinting it on my brain.
The girl who is told she is pretty but will never ever believe it.
The girl who isn't a size four and doesn't eat healthy and the girl who doesn't care much.
The girl who has never been asked out even though everyone else around me has had dozens of boy/girlfriends.
The girl who dreams about her book getting published or graduating college with honors while everyone else is dreaming of their wedding day or prom.
The girl who seems to have no fears even because she's hid her feelings so long that she forgot how to show them.
The girl who will snap you out of a "I just want to fit in" fog and show you who you really are.
Don't you hate how, the second you have a huge list of stories going on, you keep getting great ideas for new ones!
I hate you for haunting me until this very day. I hate you for being chained to my heart, impossible to set free. I hate you for teaching me a lesson in trust that I was much too young to learn. I hate you for teaching me that sometimes you can be the only one you can rely on. I hate you for the fact that you learned me, from seeing that my only real weakness was the people I trusted. I hate you for realizing that bruises heal but a broken heart stays forever. I hate you for showing me that he was weaker than I thought. I hate you for taking his insecurities and turning them into things that made him switch sides, to no longer protect me like he had. I hate you for everything.
But I love you for stopping me. I love you for taking away everything, for sending me back to square one. I love you for taking me from the future I would of had, being a mean girl who broke people down like you do. I love you for making me a fresh canvas for someone else to lay the roots that spread into the person I am today.
The Pledge to PJO
I promise to remember Percy
whenever I'm at sea
I promise to remember Annabeth
whenever a spider comes at me
I promise to protect nature
for Grover's sake of course
I promise to remember Luke
whenever my heart fills with remorse
I promise to remember Chiron
whenever I see a sign that says "Free Pony Ride"
I promise to remember Tyson
when a friend says they'll stick by my side
I promise to remember Thalia
when a friend is afraid of heights
I promise to remember Clarisse
whenever I see someone who gives me a fright
I promise to remember Bianca
when I see a sister scold her younger brother
I promise to remember Nico
whenever I see someone who doesn't get along well with others
I promise to remember ZOE
when I watch the stars
I promise to remember Rachel
when a limo passes my car
Yes, I promise to remember Percy Jackson and the Olympians wherever I may go
apples on trees.
The best ones are
at the top of the tree.
The boys don't want to reach
for the good ones because they
are afraid of falling and getting hurt.
Instead, they just get the rotten apples
from the ground that aren't as good,
but easy. So the apples at the top think
something is wrong with them, when in
reality, they're amazing. They just
have to wait for the right boy to
come along, the one who's
brave enough to
to the top
of the tree.
"Let me get this straight. I just tried to kill a bunch of little kids. My wife is dead. My unborn child is dead. The man who raised me is trying to kill me, and he got me stuck in this stupid suit that makes me sound like a freak. And you think a cookie will make up for it all?"
Someone hands Darth Vader the cookie.
He throws it in their face.
Someone gives him two cookies.
"Now this is about fair!"
I only miss you when I'm breathing...
Don't regret me. Smile at the memories.
Don't forget the things that you loved about me. Miss me everyday.
Don't laugh with Jacob as he recalls the girl that he had broken into peices. Punch him in the nose like you should have years ago.
Don't stop loving me, even if you did betray me. Love me forever.
Because I regret you instead of smiling at the memories.
Because I forgot the things that I loved about you.
Because I never punched him in the nose when he tried to take you away from me.
"With great power comes the great need to take a nap." - Nico di Angelo, The Last Olympian
"God alert! It's the Wine dude!" - Blackjack, Titans Curse
"Go chase a doughnut!" - Percy Jackson, Sea of Monsters
"See that's what happens to snow in Texas lady. It - freaking - melts!" - Leo Valdez, The Lost Hero
You know how teachers always tell you the magic word is please? That's not true. The magic word is puke. It will get you out of class faster than anything else. -Percy, The Demigod Files
"Aphrodite took my snowboarding jacket. Mugged by my own mom!" - Piper Mclean, The Lost Hero
That's one good thing about sea serpents: They're big babies when it comes to getting hurt. -Percy, The Demigod Files
It's great when you're a celebrity to squids. -Percy, The Demigod Files
"It's all right. We just had a family spat."
"Family spat? You turned me into a dandelion!" -Persephone and Nico, The Demigod Files
I'll have a cheeseburger and-AHHH! My friend's on fire! Get me a bucket! -Jason, The Lost Hero
Put this in your profile
People are like slinkies; basically useless, but ever so amusing to watch fall down the stairs.
If you can't convince them, confuse them.
An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed.
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving isn't for you.
What happens if you get scared half to death... twice?
Never do anything that you wouldn't want to explain to the paramedics.
The dinosaurs extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide.
I run with scissors, it makes me feel dangerous.
I had amnesia once--or twice. You know what? I don't really even remember.
Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.
They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well, I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people.
Life isn't passing me by, it's trying to run me over.
Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is my ceiling?
When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
Sometimes I wonder, "Why is the frisbee getting bigger?" Then I get hit in the face.
Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?
If you don't like my driving then stay off the sidewalk!
Don’t mess with me. I've got a stick.
If two wrongs don't make a right, try three.
When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep - not screaming, like the passengers in his car.
I smile because I have no idea what's going on!
One day, we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject.
Don't knock on death's door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that.
Whoever said nothing was impossible never tried slamming a revolving door...
Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.
Of course I'm out of my mind! It's dark and scary in there!
I'm not afraid of death! What's it going to do? Kill me?
When someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles to frown about it but it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and punch them!
I dream of a better world where chickens can cross the road without having their motives questioned.
I used up all my sick days...so I called in dead.
Stressed is Desserts backwards :)
Of all the things I’ve lost, I miss my mind the most.
You're laughing now because you're older than me by mere months, but when you 30 and I'm still 29, who will be laughing then?
I don't suffer from insanity... I enjoy every minute of it.
There's a light at the end of every tunnel...lets just hope it's not a train.
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
I am in shape...round is a shape.
I don't swim in your toilet, so don't pee in my pool.
You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, and I laugh even harder.
Boys are like trees – they take fifty years to grow up.
Flying is not inherently dangerous- crashing is.
Forecast for tonight: darkness.
Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall through a sewer hole and die.
Love your enemies. It gets them really confused.
If aliens are looking for intelligent life, why the heck are you scared?!
I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse.
Some say the glass is half full, others the glass is half empty, all I want to know is who's drank my water!
STUPID PRODUCT LABELS:
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You like being in charge.
You feel at home in the water.
You’re not that much of a people person.
You own a garden.
You often start fights.
You have an insatiable thirst for knowledge.
You’re very creative and artistic.
HUNTER OF ARTEMIS
You dislike boys in general.
You have a way with tools.
Every *person of opposite gender* swoons for you.
You like pickpocketing your friends.
You’re the life of the party.
I'm a daughter of either Hermes, Ares, a Hunter of Artemis, Poseidon, Hades, or Apollo!
The Mark of Athena, the new book we all can't wait for.
Heroes of Olympus must reunite to stop Gaea.
Every body has a fatal flaw.
Perseus Jackson. Savior of Olympus.
Electricity. That's what will shock you if you mess with Thalia Grace.
Riptide. Percy's lethal ballpoint pen.
Clarisse. That's who will go after you if you beat her in a battle. (And you don't want an angry Clarisse. It's bad enough when she's not angry.)
Yellow duffle bags. Helped Percy, Tyson, and Annabeth.
Jason Grace. Thalia's "lost" little brother.
Annabeth Chase. Percy's girlfriend and official architect of Olympus. Who is also the Heroine of Olympus.
Chiron. Trainer of Heroes and the Greek demigods.
Kaleidoscope. What Piper's eyes look like to Jason.
Son of Neptune. The second book in the Hero's of Olympus Series
Olympus. Home of the gods.
Nemesis. Ethan's mother. Don't worry, she's not getting her revenge on his death.
Atlas. Zoe's father.
Never back down. The phrase that reminds me of TLO.
Dionysus. The god of wine. (More like the god of Diet Coke.)
Thalia Grace. Hunter of Artemis and daughter of Zeus.
Hephaestus. The father of Beckendorf and Leo.
Empathy link. What Grover and Percy have. Saved Grover's life a couple of times.
Officers. The immortal skeletons dressed up as officers.
Yew, Michael, the brave demigod son of Apollo who gave his life to save others during the battle of Manhattan.
Lupa. The she-wolf, trainer of the roman demigods
Morpheus. The gods of dreams. He put NYC asleep during TLO.
Persephone. The kidnapped wife of Hades. Believes every hero is brave and wants to give them a chance.
Illiterates. Many kids believe some of the demigods are illiterates.
Aphrodite. Promised Percy a hard love life.
Nothing lasts forever. Not Even the gods.
Switched. The leaders of the two camp, Percy and Jason are switched. Jason at CHB, Percy at Camp Jupiter
Percy: This is a PEN!
Yes, I look at you when you don't know.
Yes, I smile at your stupid jokes.
Yes, I like to play football so I can tackle you.
Yes, though I like you it doesn't mean I don't want you to be happy with someone else.
Yes, I wish we could be happy together.
Yes, I blush when you talk perverted.
Yes, I fear rejection.
Yes, I'm still that shy little girl inside.
Yes, fighting is a cover for when I want to cry.
Yes, I cry.
Yes, I do get my feelings hurt.
Yes, your little good charm likes to hang out with the team for other reasons.
Yes, I love it when you win and you carry me around.
Yes, I love spending an afternoon just talking with you and your boys.
Yes, I am a thriteen year old girl who is falling in love with someone who will never love her back.
Yes, your idiot friends are more trustworthy than mine.
Yes, When I get mad and start punchng you and screaming at you, I love it and need it when you hold me till I calm down.
Yes, I like falling asleep next to you.
Yes, I am jealous when I see with her.
Yes, I'm happy you have her.
Yes, I don't understand love and I dont' know how to work with a mangled heart.
Yes, my heart is mangled and damaged.
Yes, I love it when you defend me
And Yes, I'm saying this again and again in my head every time you treat me like I'm one of your dudes
Things I am not to do at Hogwarts
1) The Giant Squid is not an appropriate date to the Yule Ball
2) I am not allowed to sing, "We're Off to See the Wizard" while skipping off to the Headmaster's office
3) I am not allowed to take out a life insurance policy on Harry Potter
4) I am not allowed to ask Dumbledore to show you the pointy hat trick
5) I am not allowed to give Remus Lupin a flea collar
6) I am not allowed to bring a Magic 8 Ball to Divination
7) I am not allowed to say that Seamus Finnegan is "after my lucky charms"
8) I am not allowed to start a betting pool on this years Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. It's taste-less, tacky, and not a good money-making strategy.
9) I am not allowed to joke about Remus' "time of the month"
10) I am not allowed to make light saber sounds with my wand
11) I am not allowed to give Hagrid Pokemon cards and convince him they're real animals
12) I am not to refer to the Accio charm as "The Force"
14) I will not use my socks to make hand-puppets of the Slytherin-House mascot
15) If the thought of a spell makes me giggle for more than 15 seconds, assume that I am not allowed to use it
16) I will not lock the Slytherin's and Gryffindor's in a room together and bet on which House will come out alive
17) I will not charm the suits of armor to do a rendition of "The Knights of the Round Table" for the Christmas Feast
18) I am not allowed to declare an official "Hug A Slytherin Day"
19) I am not allowed to sing my own personal spy music while wandering the hallways
20) It is not necessary to yell, "BURN!" Whenever Snape takes points away from Gryffindor
21) I will not say the phrase, "Get a Life" to Voldemort
22) First years are not to be fed to Fluffy
23) I will never ask Harry if his Voldie senses are tingling
26) It is not necessary to yell, "BAM" every time I Apparate
27) I will not steal Gryffindor sword from Dumbledore's office and use it to patrol the hallways
28) I will not poke Hufflepuff's with spoons, nor shall I insist that their color's indicate that they're "covered in bee's"
29) "I've heard every joke possible about Oliver Wood's name" is not a challenge
32) If a class-mate falls asleep, I will not take advantage of that and draw a Dark Mark on their arm
33) House Elves are not acceptable replacements for Bludgers
34) I will not start every potion's class by asking Snape if the potion is acceptable as Body Lotion
35) I will not call the Weasly twins, "bookends"
36) I will not call the Patil twins, "bookends"
37) I will not call the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher Kenny, even if he is wearing an orange anorak
45) I will not dress up as Voldemort on Halloween
46) It is a bad idea to tell Snape he takes himself to seriously
47) I will not tell Sir Cadogan that The Knight's Who Say Ni have challenged him to a duel, then have all the students say, 'Ni' from various directions
48) I am not the King of the Potato People and I do not have a flying carpet
49) "To conquer the Earth with an army of flying monkeys" is not a career choice
50) I will not attack my fellow classmates
51) I will not make an impossible riddle for people to give an answer to enter the Ravenclaw area
Other Things I am not allowed to do at Hogwarts:
1) I will not, under any circumstances, ask Harry Potter who died and made him boss
2) Professor Flitwick's first name is not Yoda
3) I will not give Hagrid Pokémon cards and convince him they're real animals
4) I will not sing the Badger Song during Hufflepuff-Slytherin Quidditch matches
5) When Death Eaters are attacking Hogsmeade, I shall not point at the Dark Mark and shout "To the Batmoblie, Robin!"
6) Any resemblance between Dementors and Nazgul is simply coincidental
7) I will not refer to the Weasley Twins as "bookends"
8) I will not scare the Arithmancy students with my Calculus book.
9) I will not hold my wand in the air before I casting spells shouting "I got the power!"
10) I am not allowed to paint the house elves blue and call them smurfs.
11) I will not slip Malfoy a Love Potion in his morning goblet of Pumpkin Juice.
12) Should I chance to see a Death Eater wearing a white mask, I should not start singing anything from The Phantom of the Opera.
13) I will not call Dumbledore "Santa Claus!" during the Christmas Holidays.
14) I will not put Muggle fairy book in the History section at the library.
15) I will not send Snape a bottle of shampoo for Christmas.
16) I am not allowed to tell Hufflepuffs there is no Santa Clause.
17) I am not allowed to refer to myself as the New Dark Lord.
18) I am not allowed to sneak into Professor Snape's private chambers to watch him sing I Will Survive in the mirror, as it is disturbing.
19) I am not allowed to steal Professor Flitwicks wand, hold it over my head and laugh as he tries to reach it.
20)I will not replace Madam Pomfrey's Skele-Gro with pumpkin juice.
21) I will not replace Professor Snape's pumpkin juice with Skele-Gro.
22) I will not impersonate the Swedish Chef in Potions class.
23) The next time that I see Rita Skeeter, I am not to threaten her with a can of Raid.
24.) I will not subvert the lock on the fourth-floor girls' bathroom and sell its location to first-years as "The Chamber of Secrets".
25) When applying for a post at the Ministry of Magic after graduation, I should not cite "Fred and George Weasley" as my greatest influence at Hogwarts.
26) Putting down "Lord Voldemort" is probably not best either.
27) A Muggle "vacuum cleaner" is not acceptable Quidditch equipment, even if it has been enchanted to fly.
28) Hogsmeade village is not "a wretched hive of scum and villainy. “
29) I will not tell Professor Trelawney that I prophesied her death.
30) I will also not tell Professor Trelawney that I had a vision of her killing the Dark Lord.
40.) Sending rings to the nine senior faculty at Yuletide, with the return address "Voldemort", is not funny.
41) Insisting that the school acquire computers and network the buildings is a pointless request as they claim that a quill and parchment is sufficient.
42) Calling the Ghostbusters is a cruel joke to play on the resident ghosts and poltergeists.
43) I may not have a private army.
44) I must not substitute chocolate-flavoured laxative for Professor Lupin's prescription-strength chocolate.
45) Nor am I to in any way substitute, alter, hide, or otherwise tamper with Professor Dumbledore's candy.
46) I am not the wicked witch of the west.
47) -I will not refer to Professor Umbridge as such either.
48) I will not melt if water is poured over me.
49) -Neither will Professor Umbridge.
50) I shouldn't use Photoshop to create incriminating photos of my house prefects or tutors.
51) I will not enchant the Golden Snitch to fly up the nearest fan's nose.
52) I do not know the Avada Kedavra curse, and pretending I do to people who annoy me is not funny, no matter how much they injure themselves diving for cover.
53) I will not test my Potions assignments by spiking Snape's drink with them.
54) - Especially not all of them at once.
55) I will not try to hock off my old piercings as "priceless Muggle artifacts."
56) I will not claim my X-Files tapes are "Auror Training Videos."
57) Professor Snape definitely does not have pointed ears, and under no circumstances is he to be addressed as 'Spock'.
58) I am not able to see the Grim Reaper, nor am I to claim that he is standing by the Headmaster, tapping an hourglass and looking at him impatiently. Or, for that matter, Harry Potter.
59) When being interrogated by a member of staff, I am not to wave my hand and announce 'These are not the droids you are looking for'.
60) Thestrals do not resemble the Muggle toys known as 'My Little Pony'.
61) The four Houses are not the Morons, the Borons, the Smarts and the Junior Death Eaters.
62) Despite my personal beliefs, Quidditch would not be improved by the introduction of Muggle firearms.
63) Though they are doubtless more athletic, battle-axes are not acceptable either.
64) I will not claim there is a prequel to Hogwarts, A History that explains about Bilbo Baggins.
65) I will not use the Marauder's Map for stalking purposes.
66) I am not allowed to introduce Peeves to paintballing.
67) I am not allowed to ask Professor Dumbledore if the size of his beard is 'compensating for something'.
68) I will not create a betting pool that Voldemort is Harry Potter's father.
69) Headmaster Dumbledore is of no relation to Willy Wonka.
70) Professor Snape's proper given name is not Princess Silvermoon Fairywing Glimmer McSparkles.
71) Harry Potter and Ron Weasley are not the magical equivalent of "Batman and Robin".
72) I will not play the Imperial March theme for Professor Snape.
73) However, when Lucius Malfoy visits, I may play it.
74) If I insist on carrying out my plans of producing "Riddle-de-dee: The Voldemort Musical", I will do so under a nom-de-plume.
75) I will not attempt to recruit the title character to play himself. Even if he looks good in tap shoes.
76) I should not refer to Malfoy, Crabbe and Goyle collectively as "Team Rocket" either.
77) I am not allowed to discuss my theory that Voldemort is actually the second cousin of Sauron.
78) I am not a 'ninja sent here by Lord Voldemort to destroy Harry Potter' and should stop shouting this at meal times.
79) It’s not tasteful to approach Cho wearing a shirt that says "All The Good Looking Ones Die Young" with a picture of Cedric Diggory on it.
80) I will not yell "Hey look! It’s Lord Voldemort!" at Hogsmeade
81) I will not tease Voldemort about the time he needed his pink flowery teddy bear to comfort him when he had that bad, bad nightmare about Harry
82) I will not charm a poster of Britney Spears on Draco's wall
83) I am not allowed to begin each Herbology class by singing the theme song to “Attack of the Killer Tomatoes.”
84) I will not call Professor McGonagall “McGoogles”.
85) I will not sing the entire Multiplication Rocks series during Arithmancy exams.
86) There is no such thing as the chamber of Double Secret Probation.
87) My name is not “the Dark Lord Happy-Pants” I am not allowed to sign my papers as such.
88) Bringing fortune cookies to divination class does not count for extra credit.
89) I will not douse Harry Potter’s invisibility cloak with lemon juice to see if he will become visible while wearing it and standing by the fire in the common room.
90) I will not tell first years they should build a tree house in the Whomping Willow.
91) I will not teach the house elves to impersonate Jar Jar Binks.
92) I will not give Gryffindors pixie sticks.
93) I am not allowed to refer to Susan Bones, Hannah Abbot, and Justin Finch-Fletchley as Blossom, Buttercup, and Bubbles.
94) A time turner is not a flux capacitor I should therefore not try to install it in a Muggle car.
95) I shall not refer to DADA professors as canaries in a coal mine.
96) When fighting Death Eaters in the annual June good vs. evil fight I will not lift my wand skyward and shout “There can only be ONE”.
97) A wand is for magic only, it is not for picking noses, playing snooker, or playing drums no matter how bored I become.
98) It is generally accepted that cats and dragons cannot interbreed and I should not attempt to disprove this theory no matter how wicked the results would be.
99) 42 is not the answer to every question on the O.W.L.S.
100) I am allowed to have a cat, rat, toad, or an owl. I am not allowed to have reticulated python, snow leopard, Tasmanian devil, or piranha.
101) No matter how good an Australian accent I can do I will not imitate Steve Irwin during Care of Magical Creatures class.
102) I will not refer to the Defense against the Dark arts professor as Kenny, even if he is wearing an orange anorak.
103) Dumbledore is not Gandalf, and the Triforce is not hidden in Hogwarts.
104) Do not confuse Aragorn, Eragon and Aragog. Ever.
105) I may not introduce Nagini to Indiana Jones.
106) Challenging Ron to a slug-eating contest is just mean.
107) Under no circumstances am I allowed to refer to Voldemort as "Baldy".
108) Even if he is.
109) I am not allowed to tell the first years to have a staring contest with the Basilisk.
110) I am prohibited from sprinkling glitter on Draco Malfoy, dying his hair, and call him Edward.
111) I am not allowed sell Mrs. O'Leary to Hagrid.
112) I will not give Professor Lupin a collar as a Christmas or birthday present.
113) Saying "I think I 'taw a puddytat!" every time I see Professor McGonagall is most certainly NOT allowed.
114) Offering Voldemort a colonial-era powdered wig (complete with ponytail) will not amuse him and I am not allowed to do so, even if he needs a new hair do.
115) I am not allowed to paint the school neon pink as the only person it will amuse is Professor Umbridge.
116) I must not introduce Voldemort to a psychiatrist as it is likely to result in him having a temper tantrum.
117) I am not allowed to introduce the Cullens to Professor Lupin.
118) I am not allowed to tease Professor Lupin about his 'time of the month'.
119) I shall not play match-maker for Voldemort on Valentine's Day because it will only make him cry when no one will go out with him because of his lack of hair.
120) I am not allowed to be a match-maker for Shelob and Aragog either.
121) I will not arrange a battle to the death between nine Hungarian Horntails and the Nazgul.
122) I will not scream, "HIS NAME IS EDWARD!" any time I hear the words Cedric Diggory.
123) I will not ask the centaurs if they know where Chiron is because I have found a demigod.
124) I will not shout at dinner times that Darth Sideous is Voldemort's uncle, even if they do look alike.
125) I shall not try to persuade everyone that Percy Weasley's true name is Percy Jackson and he slays monsters with a pen for a living.
126) I will not sing 'I'm a Survivour' after the Battle of Hogwarts.
127) No matter how fun it looks, I will not stand on a table and do the Macarena at the Yule Ball.
128) Professor Lupin is not the magical equivalent of Wolverine and I am not allowed to address him as such.
129) Even if I'm bored, I am not allowed to ask Snape what is the mysterious ticking noise.
130) I will not dye Harry's hair pink or give him brown contacts, just because I am sick of black-haired, green-eyed heroes.
131) Whether they owe me money or not, I am not allowed to sneak into Fred and George's dorm at the dead of night to die their hair blond, spike it unreasonably high, then call them John and Edward in the morning.
132) I will not send Voldemort white robes for Christmas and claim he changed his name to, "Voldy the White."
133) And when he wears them, I am not allowed to run around Hogsmeade screaming, "AHHH! It's an albino dementor!"
134) It is not tasteful to send Professor McGonagall a scratching post for Christmas.
135) Bringing a magic eight ball to Divination class will only get Professor Trelawney annoyed at your, "Lack of Inner Eye."
136) To which I am not allowed to reply.
137) I will not refer to the Accio charm as 'The Force'.
138) Nor am I allowed to have lightsaber fights with my wand and make whoosing noises.
139) "Because they both need to wash their hair," is not proof Professor Snape and Aragorn are related.
140) There is also no proof that Gimli and Flitwick are related and I am stop asking Flitwick if he's been swimming with any hairy women lately.
141) Singing 'Hungry Like The Wolf' in Professor Lupin's class is not a way to get extra credit.
142) I am not allowed to write on the wall in the Gryffindor Common Room, "I know where you live" or "I stole all your underwear!"
143) I am not allowed to replace the Bludgers with peas, tomatoes, plums or anything that is not a Bludger.
144) Portable swamps are not funny.
145) And I will not set off the above in Snape's sleeping quarters.
146) Or in the Slytherin's bathrooms.
147) In fact, I am not allowed to even buy portable swamps.
148) Harry Potter is not a Son of Poseidon and saying this every time I see him will only result in him filing a restraining order against me.
149) My patronus is not a Nazgul.
150) Neither is my animagus form.
151) "To conquer the earth with an army of flying monkeys" is not an appropriate career choice.
152) It still is not appropriate, even if I have substituted the flying monkeys with gummy bears.
153) I will not levitate everywhere in a big pink bubble.
154) My professors have neither the time, nor the inclination to hear about what I did with six boxes of Sugar Quills.
155) No part of the school uniform is edible.
156) Nor am I allowed to make any part of the school uniform edible.
157) I will not try to take house points from the first years for "being too goddamned short".
158) Especially as I am in no position of authority and Dumbledore would have to be heavily drugged before he would ever make me a prefect.
159) I am not allowed to wear singing holiday-themed ties and claim that they are officially part of my uniform. Especially not during June.
160) Luna Lovegood does not have pointed ears, nor is she to be addressed as 'Galadriel'.
161) Lucius Malfoy also does not have pointed ears, nor is he to be addressed as 'Haldir'.
162) I am not the reincarnation of Merlin.
163)I am not allowed to Accio the clothing of any person while they are wearing it.
164) I am to attend astronomy class and should stop yelling that aliens will abduct me if I do.
165) Hogwarts does not require a karaoke machine.
166) No matter how much I would enjoy watching Harry sing, "Saturday Night."
167) "Defying my will" is not a crime worthy of life in Azkaban, and I should not tell that to the first-years.
168) I will not speak to Professor Snape with a Transylvanian accent.
169) Nor am I to ask if he is Carlisle Cullen's evil, unfortunate-looking twin.
170) I will not start a rumor saying that Professor Snape sings "I'm too sexy for my robes" while showering. Or for that matter doing any other activity.
171) Enchanting the Sorting Hat to sort new students into the House of Martok, or any other Klingon house is forbidden.
172) Voldemort does not wish to appear as the 'before' for a line of cosmetics. And no, he does not care how much money I make from it.
173) The Slytherin prefect is named Draco Malfoy, not "Rocky Horror".
174) Transfiguring Draco Malfoy's uniform into a gold thong is also inappropriate.
175) I will not attempt to determine whether Malfoy is a natural blond.
176) I will not spread rumors that Legolas Greenleaf is his second cousin either.
177) Luna Lovegood is NOT always on "physicidelic mushrooms" and I should stop implying that she is.
178) The same goes for Professor Trelawney.
179) I will not get a tattoo of a smiley face on my arm and claim that it is the new Dark Mark.
180) When signing to all of these rules, I am not allowed to write in red ink and say that the Cullens lent me some grizzly bear blood.
181) I will not set my robes on fire to get out of potions.
182) I should not be a sports' commentator for Ron and Hermione's arguments.
183) Hogwarts does not need a "This many days since Harry has almost died," sign.
Things I'm not allowed to do in the Hunger Games
1) Ask President Snow what he got me for Christmas
2) Call Katniss "Catpiss"
3) Ask Peeta if his brothers are named Rye and Pumperknickle
4) Replace Cinna's synthetic fire with real fire and say it makes it authentic
5) During the countdown, pretend to throw something at the Careers and scream "BOOM!"
6) Challenge Haymitch to a drinking contest
7) Enroll Cato in an anger management class
8) Send Seneca Crane shaving gel for his birthday
9) A sandwhich costume is NOT appropriat to wear to the interview
10) The Hunger Games is nothing like the Running Man and calling it so is punishable by death
11) President Snow is not Julius Caesar and asking Seneca when the Ides of March is a bad idea
12) Calling President Snow "Santa Claus" will get you exicuted.
13) Ask Gale if I can introduce him to Jacob from Twilight because they have so much in common
14) I am not an alien fish and screaming that I am during the Reaping will not be tolerated
15) Octavia will not melt if I dump water on her
16) Saying that Clove is a lucky charm and Marvel is the leprecon to Clove and Marvel is a bad life choice, however saying it when they aren't listening is always a good joke
17) It's a bad idea to tell Clove to get a breath mint when she's pinned me to the ground and talking about cutting me open
18) Calling Peeta the next Barack Obama
19) Give Effie a high five and then tell her I didn't wash my hands after I used the bathroom
20) Actually throw something at the Careers during the countdown and watch them go BOOM
21) Teach the Jabberjays to say curse words
22) Taunt the monkey-mutts with bananas
23) I will not play the Imperial March whenever President Snow walks into a room
24) Scream "To the Batmobile, Robin!" whenever they show the dead tribute's faces in the sky
25) I may not refer to either of the District Four tributes as the Fish Breath
26) Tell Gale that Thor looks like him on steroids (HOT)
27) Shout "Mellark!" whenever someone is talking about Pita bread.
28) Tell Cato he is "a quality dude" to try to get him to let me to join the Careers
29) Even if he is
30) Ask Annie how big Finnick's trident is
31) Sing 'Dancing In the Rain' whenever it rains blood in the clock arena
32) When the clock arena stops spinning say, "I don't think we're in Kansas anymore"
33) Tell Cato I stole his nose and then run off with him chasing me trying to get it back
20 ways to maintain a healthy level of insanity:
1: At lunch time, sit in you car with sunglasses on and point a hair dry at passing cars; see if they slow down
2: Page yourself over the intercom. Do not disguise your voice.
3: Every time some one asks you to do something, ask them if they want fries with that
4: Put you garbage can on your desk and label it "IN"
5: Put decaf in the coffee maker (home or work). When everyone gets over their caffeine addiction, switch to espresso
6: In your memo book, on all your checks, put "FOR SMUGGLING DIAMONDS"
7: Finish all your sentences with "In Accordance To The Prophecy"
8: Dont use any punctuation
9: As often as possible, skip instead of walking
10: Order diet water whenever you go out with a serious face
11: Specify that your drive-thru order is "TO GO"
12: Sing along at the opera
13: Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme
14: Put mosquito netting around your work area (or room) and play tropical sounds all day
15: 5 days in advance, tell your friend that you can't go to their party cause you don't 'feel like it'
16: Have friends or coworkers address you by your wrestling name "Rock Bottom"
17: When the cash comes out of the ATM yell, "I WON, I WON"
18: When exiting the zoo, start running toward the parking lot, yelling, "Run for your lives they're loose"
19: Tell your children (or younger sibling) that "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go"
20: And the final way to keep a healthy level of insanity is... Copy this and put it on your profile
YOU KNOW YOU'RE AN AUTHOR IF...
You talk to yourself a lot.
You talk to yourself about talking to yourself.
When you talk to yourself you often talk to yourself like you're talking to someone else.
After uttering a profound piece of wisdom like that above, you stare at the cookie in your hand with awe and say, "Wow,this stuff is great for sugar highs...'
You live off of sugar and caffeine
You'll check your e-mail every day of the week and then disappear off the face of the earth.
You're e-mails tend to be pages long and incredibly random.
When replying to an e-mail, you'll never actually address the point of it.
You tend to collect Bic Stics off the ground like picking pennies off the ground.
No matter where you are in a room you never have to get up to find a pen/pencil and paper.
The letters on your keyboard are wearing off. (once a key actually fell off!)
Your friends and family think that you have carpal tunnel syndrome.
People think you have A.D.D.
You think it'd be cool to have A.D.D.
You zone out even with other people.
You constantly start talking in third person, present or past tense.
You start thinking about making lists like this and start giggling for no "apparent" reason
Your friends stopped looking at you funny for no apparent reason a loooooong time ago.
You're profile is REALLY long.
Your computer runs out of memory.
You can't stop writing!
Your parents take away your computer, and you almost die. Literally.
And FINALLY, the one way to tell if you're a good writer: You failed English 101.
I Want - To be a demigod
I Have - The best books in the world
I Wish - To go to Hogwarts
I Hate - Shallows
I Fear - Spiders! Snakes! All bugs! Oh My!
I Hear - My Oc's voices. Why you looking at me like that?
I Search - Through pages of books.
I Wonder - why people are so stupid.
I Regret - Not coming out of my shell at times.
I Love- all things fictional.
I Ache - Not doing adventures.
I Always - do things my way and refuse to follow the crowd
I Usually - spend hours on my laptop.
I Dance - Whenever I want.
I Sing - like a Disney Princess.
I Never - Will like Justin Beiber. NEVER! I WILL SAY NEVER! GODS! GET OVER IT!
I Rarely - Stay serious.
I Cry - Whenever I see the last Hp movie and sometimes in HG. I cried when Percy went missing. I HATE U JASON!!!
I Am Not Always - living in reality
I Lose - at every sport except for dance.
I'm Confused- that there are people who actually enjoy the Twilight saga XP
I Need - MAGIC!
I Should - really get outside more.
I Dream - of living in my favorite books whenever I want: Live in Hogwarts, fight at Camp Half-Blood, study at Brooklyn House, battle in Hunger Games, Be Dauntless in Divergent, Fight Ghosts in Danny Phantom, Be unique in X-Men, Be extraodinary at Avengers, Goof off and protect with Teen Titans, travel with the Doctor( 10 preferably), and most of all:
Being who I really am inside.
You Know You're a Book Nerd If:
You can randomly open to a page and know exactly what's going on.
You stay up to read a book until 4 A.M., then get back up at 7 to continue reading.
Just about everything you do revolves around reading. If you're not reading, you're probably on fanfiction.net, drawing fan art, etc.
You try to get all of your friends to read your favorite books.
Everything reminds you of the book. (EVERYTHING)
You quote random lines all the time. (ALL THE TIME.)
You try to do things that the characters do, even though you know you can't.
You've gotten incredibly bored in class, and debated on doing something your favorite character can do to escape the class.
You have pictures of your favorite characters on your computer.
You've got a book memorized.
You've read a specific book more than five times. (lots...)
You've read a book with 400 pages in less than two days. (Of course I have! That's tiny! It would only take about 4 hours, if I like the book. )
You've planned and prepared a siege on a writer's house because he/she killed a character you like.
You blatantly deny it when someone calls a character fictional.
NORMAL PEOPLE: Rely on their local weatherman for the weather forecast
PJO FANS: Will tell Zeus to make it rain
NORMAL PEOPLE: Say OMG!
PJO FANS: Say OH MY GODS!
NORMAL PEOPLE: Go to a psychiatrist to tell their feelings
PJO FANS: Won't go to one because they will take away their awesome demigod powers
NORMAL PEOPLE: Say shut up or I'll tell on you!
PJO FANS: Say shut up or my godly parent will vaporize you!
NORMAL PEOPLE: Think that PJO fans are stupid
PJO FANS: Know that normal people are stupid
NORMAL PEOPLE: When being chased yell HELP ME SOMEBODY!
PJO FANS: When being chased use their demigod powers
NORMAL PEOPLE: Get nervous/scared during thunderstorms
PJO FANS: Yell at Zeus to calm down
NORMAL PEOPLE: Would choose somewhere sunny to go for vacation
PJO FANS: Would try and find Camp Half Blood
NORMAL PEOPLE: would run if the were being chased
PJO FANS: would say 'I have a pen!'
NORMAL PEOPLE: Don't have this on their profile
PJO FANS: Would have this on their profile already!!!!!
You Know You’re Obsessed With Percy Jackson When…
There’s a thunderstorm going on and you scream, “CALM DOWN, ZEUS!” (yep)
Every time you use the Internet, you thank Hermes.
When you see Harry Potter, you think of Percy with glasses.(yes, totally)
You burn food to see if it smells good.
You see an owl, you go, “Hi Athena!” (I don't, but I will now)
Everyone else is creating a Twilight family and you create a PJO family.(yes)
You go on a cruise and you hope the boat isn't The Princess Andromeda… (I would if we went on cruises...)
You sometimes try to control water.(yes)
You don't read anything but PJO for 3 months. (yep)
You've gone to Google maps and looked up Camp Half-Blood’s address.(yes)
Even though not diagnosed, you claim you have ADHD or dyslexia and blame it on your God parent. (yeah, I might have ADHD coz I'm too hyperactive for my own good)
You yell "Annabeth!" every time you see a NY Yankees hat.
You make the PJO characters on Sims, as Miis on the Wii, and other video games. (yep)
Anytime you see an orange shirt, you look at the front of it to see if it is a Camp shirt.(yes)
You are a PJO character for Halloween.
Recite lines randomly from the books.(yes)
When you see/hear about anything mythology-related, you talk about how it was in PJO (what page, book, etc.) and what happened to it.(yes)
Buy anything New York or San Francisco-related.
You are suddenly obsessed with Adidas shoes because they have the Hermes symbol.
You claim that Percy IS real and lives in New York no matter how much your friends argue with you.(yes)
You have dreams about PJO characters/events. (yeah, loads. I once dreamt that I was Annabeth and I was on the run with Luke and Thalia...)
You carry a ballpoint pen in your pocket.
That every time you pick up a pen, you think it'll turn into a sword.
In the beginning of your first History class, you burst out "Will we be studying Greek mythology?!"
You pretend (or actually) faint when someone asks "Who's Percy?" (pretend, but yes)
When someone mentions the name Percy (like Percy Weasley) you scream "JACKSON!" (yep)
You are known to scream names of the characters at random times. (yep)
You've got any copy of any book in all your backpacks/binders in case of emergencies.
You make a list of characters never to anger, like this one and why
When life gives you lemons, throw them back and demand for Percy Jackson.
Dear Yahoo, I've never heard anyone say, "I don't know, let's Yahoo! it..." just saying... Sincerely, Google
Dear Noah, We could have sworn you said the ark wasn't leaving till 5. Sincerely, Unicorns
Dear Impossible, Screw you. I just made a campfire underwater. Sincerely, Spongebob
Don't follow in my footsteps, I tend to walk into walls
I'm going on a quest, to the deepest, darkest corners of my room, in search of what some would call a "floor" - a long and difficult task awaits me my friends, wish me luck, for I may not return alive
"I didn't loose my mind, I sold it on eBay."
"I don't suffer from insanity... I enjoy every minute of it."
1 out of every 4 people are insane. Look at your three best friends, if it's not them, it's you.
You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff ... I laugh even harder
A wise man once said, "Ask a girl."
"Diamonds are a girls best friend...because they're sharper then knives."
If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
Always forgive your enemies: Nothing annoys them more
If you wish on a falling star it might come true... Unless it's a meteor hurdling to earth... Then no wishes come true... Unless your wish was to be killed a meteor hurdling to earth.
Remember what you just said, because tomorrow I am going to have a witty and sarcastic comeback and you'll be devastated then!
Normal is just a setting on washing machines.
"I'm not afraid of Death. What's he gonna do, kill me?"
Most people would be offended if someone asked them what was wrong with their mind. copy this into your profile if you would be one of the few people that would answer, "where to begin?"
My friends used to be semi-normal. Then they met me.
Harry Potter Survey! Yay!
Which is your favorite Harry Potter book? The Prisoner of Azkaban
Which is your favorite Harry Potter movie? The Half-Blood Prince
Who is your favorite HP character(s)? The Weasley Twins
What house do you prefer to be in? Ravenclaw
But what house would you think you'll be in? Ravenclaw (I went on Pottermore)
Which ghost within Hogwarts is your favorite? Grey Lady
What subject in Hogwarts do you like the best? D.A.D.A. or Trans.
Who is your favorite teacher in Hogwarts? Professor McGonagall
Which position would you want to be in for Quidditch? Seeker
Which position in Quidditch do you think fits you the most? Keeper
Who do you want to make friends with? Hermione, Ron, Harry, Luna, Ginny, Twins, Draco, Remus
If you were in Hogwarts, who would be your best buddy? Fred Weasley
Why would he/she be your best buddy? Fred, because we would be amazing pranksters
Which character in the book can you relate to? Luna, because we have both been bullied and the end, we know that we are smarter!
What pet would you get? A black cat just to mess with the superstitious people :)
If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile
I am that girl,
The one who likes book more than boys.
The one who pretends not to be sad, just to make others happy
The one who always wonders what she did wrong
The one who writes to escape
The one who just wants to help
The one that really wants to make a difference
The one that sticks to her values
The one that refuses to believe that this is it
The one that will do anything to make a better tomorrow
The one who won't give in
The one won't give up
Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 81, and find line 4.
yes, because two years is an insurmountable age gap.
Stretch your left arm out as far as you can. What can you touch?
What is the last thing you watched on TV?
Without looking, guess what time it is:
Now look at the clock. What is the actual time?
With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?
Little Bump by Ed Sheeran
When did you last step outside? What were you doing?
This afternoon walking home
Before you started this survey, what did you look at?
Harry Potter and Percy Jackson crossovers
What are you wearing?
What is on the walls of the room you are in?
Navy blue walls with the Hogwarts crest and the entrance ntrance to Camp Half-Blood painted in it
Seen anything weird lately?
A man in a skirt walking down the street
What do you think of this quiz?
If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy?
Books, and food. LOTS of food
Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?
Adara, Hermione, Thalia, Marlene, or Alexandria
Have a conversation with the closest living thing to you other than yourself.
Imaginary friend: FUCK YOU I HAVE A HANGOVER DON'T EVEN TRY TO TALK TO ME!
Turn on T.V. What show is on?
The Cat in the Hat Knows a Lot About That!
Type your name with your elbow.
Stand up. Close your eyes. Spin around three times. Stop. Open your eyes. What's the first thing you see?
Ways to Annoy a Non-Harry Potter Fan! (P.S: This all works!)
1. Relate everything they say to the Harry Potter books and/or movies.
2. Say they look like a Harry Potter character of the opposite gender.
3. Quote Dobby.
4. Hog the computer 24/7 while logged onto MuggleNet.
5. Read out loud to them whenever they can't get away from you (Example: When in a car or an elevator). If you don't have a book with you, recite from memory.
6. Give them Harry Potter merchandise for their birthday and Christmas and demand that they keep it and treasure it forever.
7. Rewrite their favorite song with Harry Potter lyrics and sing it constantly.
8. Crowd their inbox with Harry Potter related e-mail and make sure the subjects are misleading.
9. Start singing a Sorting Hat song at random moments, pretend to forget what comes next, and ask if they know in a very loud voice.
10. Make them play Quidditch with you.
11. Give all of their friends Harry Potter related nicknames and act mortally offended when they don't know the history of their character.
12. Change your name to that of a Harry Potter character and start screaming when they don't address you as such in public.
13. Always speak with a British accent - especially if you aren't from the UK.
14. Refer to real places by Harry Potter names.
15. ...throw a fit if others don't use these names.
16. Draw round glasses and lightning bolt scars on every poster and picture you come across...in permanent marker.
17. Give long lectures about how the prophecy relates to every day life.
18. Give every room in your house a Harry Potter code name. ( Example: The living room becomes the Entrance Hall) and whenever someone asks you where something is, use these names.
19. Change them immediately if they figure out what the names refer to.
20. Constantly ask if they can see the thestrals too.
21. ...refuse to explain what a thestral is.
22. Say, "Anything off the trolley, dear?" in a fake British accent when offering anyone food.
23. Pretend you can do magic.
24. Constantly rearrange their furniture and blame it on indecisive house-elves.
25. Yell "Get away from me, Death Eater!" whenever they get near you.
26. Constantly compare them to Mrs. Figg.
27. ...laugh evilly if they ask who Mrs. Figg is.
28. Complain loudly about how your pictures don't move.
29. Whenever you're asked for advice, reply with "Three turns should do it" in a very serious voice.
30. Break any awkward silences by saying, "How 'bout them Chudley Cannons?"
31. Tell a very long joke using a random Harry Potter quote as the punchline and then laugh hysterically.
32. ...make sure the joke isn't funny.
33. Use the titles "You-Know-Who" and "He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named" to refer to random people.
34. ... make sure no one knows who you're talking about.
35. Write letters to people (friends, neighbors...politicians) and ask them to join S.P.E.W.
36. ...hand fliers advertising it to a random passerby.
37. Report Dumbledore's death to your local authorities.
38. Call them repeatedly asking if Percy Weasley is there and hang up before they can reply.
39. Pop up in place you're not supposed to be and insist that you were only trying to Apparate.
40. If you're late for something, blame it on your broken Time Turner.
41. Deck yourself out in all of your Harry Potter gear when you know you'll be going to a public place.
42. Walk past a wall over and over again, stopping randomly to bang on. When you receive weird stares, shout, "What?! I'm look for the Room of Requirement!"
43. Every time you see them, demand an explanation of why exactly they don't like Harry Potter.
44. If anyone tells you you'll go to hell for reading Harry Potter, either: a) jump and down and tell them that you can't wait; b) tell them you'll meet them there; c) sing "Weasley Is Our King" over and over again; or d) ask them to back up this claim with evidence, and laugh at them when they can't.
45. Play the soundtracks while they're stuck in your car.
46. ...add commentary. ( Oh, this is where they...)
47. When one of the movies is on TV, call to remind them.
48. ...every five minutes.
49. If they ask for your phone number, tell them it's 6-2-4-4-2.
50. Say "Alohomora!" every time you open a door.
51. Sort every person you meet into one of the four Houses.
52. Follow them around while acting out a scene from the book doing very annoying voices for all the characters. Expect them to join in, and act offended when they don't.
53. Count down to some obscure Harry Potter event, whether it's Dumbledore's birthday, or when a Harry Potter DVD comes out. Keep saying: "87 (86, 85, etc.) more days!" in the middle of every conversation you have with your friend. Smile in a superior way when they ask what you're counting down to.
54. Start talking about a deceased Harry Potter character and suddenly burst into hysterical tears.
55. Refuse to be comforted.
56. Ask them to help you study for your O.W.L's and N.E.W.T's.
57. Knit them hats and insist that you're just trying to liberate them.
58. Talk to animals and insist that they're Animagi.
59. Treat them to lunch and then suddenly realize you can't pay for the meal since the restaurant doesn't accept Galleons, Sickles, or Knuts.
60. Run up to random men with long, dark hair and scream, "SIRIUS! I always knew you were alive!"
61. Point at modern electronic devices and loudly say, "Look at that! The things these Muggles come up with..."
62. Write letters to the editor of your local newspaper about the evils of our society ( Namely, Death Eaters and discrimination against friendly werewolves).
63. Send them numerous letters informing them that they have been selected to attend Hogwarts.
64. Carry around a shiny rock and proclaim that you possess the Sorcerer's Stone.
65. Say everything in a sing-song voice like Luna Lovegood.
66. End every conversation and/or letter with "Nitwit! Blubber! Oddment! Tweak!"
67. ...refuse to provide an explanation.
68. Tap all brick walls you encounter with an umbrella.
69. Say "Lumos" when turning on a light.
70. Point and grunt and insist that you're speaking Troll.
71. Refuse to wash your hair and explain that you're going for the Snape look.
72. Spend hours at a time trying to get your broom to fly.
73. Invite them over for the night and force them to watch the first three movies with you.
74. If they leave for any reason, restart the movie and tell them it's the Time Turner scene.
75. Shriek loudly and insist that you're speaking Mermish.
76. If you're asked to retrieve something, shout "Accio!" loudly.
77. ...when this doesn't work, throw a fit.
78. Demand to know what exactly the function of a rubber duck is.
79. Talk like Hagrid.
80. Point to garden gnomes and say, "Silly Muggles don't have a clue about what gnomes look like!" in a very loud voice.
81. Take them to a CD store and make them help you look for the newest Weird Sisters album.
82. Yell "Avada Kedavra" anytime they give the anti-HP lecture, then fake excruciating pain as your soul rips in two.
83. Write "Enemies of the Heir, BEWARE!" in red paint on their wall.
84. When confronted about the message, refuse to take responsibility and/or explain it further.
85. Hum Hedwig's Theme constantly and be sure to include any crescendos, decrescendos, accents, etc.
86. Petition to have Hedwig's Theme become the new National Anthem.
87. Wear all black and explain that you're in mourning over the death of "The Only One He Ever Feared."
88. ...when asked for am explanation of this cryptic title, cry hysterically.
89. Replace their entire movie collection with the Harry Potter films.
90. If they ask you about the weather, solemnly say, "Mars is bright tonight."
91. Print this out and use it as a checklist.
92. Insist that they subscribe for your new Harry Potter newsletter and when they say no, act like you've been seriously offended.
93. Potter Puppet Pals, anyone?
94. Knit them a maroon jumper every year - especially if maroon isn't their color.
95. When taking the stairs with them, stop and insist that you have to wait because the staircases are moving.
96. If someone turns off the lights, make a loud cracking sound and pretend to Apparate to the other side of the room.
97. Carry around a hip flask and refuse to drink anything anyone offers you.
98. Toss a small handful of sand and yell out, "Diagon Alley!"
99. If you go to a train station with them, loudly ask random people if they know where you can find Platform 9 3/4. Do this in an extremely fake British accent.
100. When your friend is checking sports scores, ask them if they can find out the score of the latest Quidditch match.
101. If they refuse, complain (loudly) that you missed the semi-final match between the Chudley Cannons and the Wimbourne Wasps and you need to know who will be advancing to the finals against the Tutshill Tornadoes.
102. At your next sleepover, draw a lightning-bolt scar on your forehead, and just as your friend is drifting off to sleep, grab your forehead and start screaming that you dreamed Voldemort killed your parents.
103. Fill a bowl with water and tie some tinsel to the end of your wand. Move the wand-tip from your temple to the bowl and pretend you're transferring your thoughts to a Pensieve, and ask not to be disturbed.
104. When at a train station with them, repeatedly throw yourself against the wall between Platforms 9 and 10. If someone asks if you need help, state in a panicked voice that you're going to miss the Hogwarts Express, and do they have a flying car that you could borrow?
105.At random moments, pick up a wand like object and run around a room, screaming deadly curses and disturbing jinxes. Then collapse, act faint and say that you must be immediately to St. Mungos for you had been placed under the Imperius curse. When not taken, repeat the process.
106. While playing chess with them, stare at your pieces and give them verbal commands.
107. Throw the chessboard across the room when the pieces don't move.
108. Invite them to play "find the Horcrux" with you.
109. Tell them you're wearing an invisibility cloak, then hide.
110. Say "Knock knock." When the person says "Who's there?", say "You Know." When they say "You Know Who?", roll on the floor laughing. When they say they don't get it, become very offended and refuse to explain.
111. Wear mismatched clothes and if someone asks you why say it's because you can never keep up with the muggle fashions.
112. Send out birthday party invitations for a Harry Potter character. Be sure to call everyone who doesn't respond and ask them if they're coming.
113. On the first day of school, ask all of your teachers if "Hogwarts, a History" will be required reading.
114. In casual conversation, mention things you've been taught by Professor Flitwick.
115. Call your local station or cable provider and ask if they will be carrying the Chudley Cannon games this season.
116. Write all letters to said person on parchment with quills.
117. Whenever they read the newspaper in public, complain loudly about how Scrimegeour is paying them to keep the big stories quiet.
118. Drag them along to the nearest place that has old brick buildings, pull out your pink umbrella, and start tapping the bricks - explain that you're looking for Diagon Alley.
119. Whenever it's foggy outside, scream "The Dementors are coming!" and hide for days at a time.
120. Fill a bowl with water and tie some tinsel to the end of your wand. Move the wand-tip from your temple to the bowl and pretend you're transferring your thoughts to a Pensieve, and ask not to be disturbed.
121. Insist the radio is called a Wizarding Wireless Network.
122. When travelling long distances, insist on going by Floo Powder - while grabbing a handful of soil from the nearest flowerpot.
123. Tell them that they're almost as smart as Grawp.
124. ..refuse to tell them who Grawp is.
125. Speak in a loud harsh voice at random moments and make predictions about people. Then, use your normal voice again and pretend that you don't remember anything.
126. Constantly remind them that you're Dumbledore's man/woman through and through.
127. Walk up to random people and ask them if their initials are R.A.B.
128. If they say no, give them a dirty mistrusting look.
129. If they say yes, then tackle them and demand that they hand over the Horcrux.
130. Yell "Crucio" at drivers who cut you off.
131. Call them every night and ask what the Transfiguration homework is
So You Want To Be A Death Eater: Your Guide To Everything Evil!
Greetings, new follower:
If you are reading this letter then you have doubtless been accepted into the select band of professional wizards known as the Death Eaters. If by some unprecedented chance you are reading this and you have not been accepted into the Death Eaters then I suggest you put down this letter and leave now, or the consequences for you will be as terrible as my lifelong study into the Dark Arts can make them.
Please find enclosed a short introductory guide to Death Eating, which you must memorize and then eat, to prevent security leaks. (Due to an unfortunate fatality last week, it is now permitted to cut the guide into small pieces before swallowing).
The next meeting is scheduled for midnight, 11th June, when I trust we will have the pleasure of watching your initiation ceremony. Please remember to bring a clean handsaw and enough twine. It's so distressing when people don't prepare for these events properly.
Yours in infamy,
So You Want To Be A Death Eater?
Welcome to this helpful guide to being a Death Eater. This leaflet should provide you with all the information you need to become a successful servant to the Dark Lord. It will if you know what's good for you. Please read every page before eating.
List of Equipment required for new Death Eaters:
(Equipment marked must be obtained from Messers. Gorgon & Black Limited, outfitters to the intensely evil and terminally stylish since 12 BC. Their premises are on Knockturn Alley, but they now do mail order as well.)
Long Black Robes (Casual)
Cane (For favored members only. Unauthorized possession of a cane will result in a heavy fine. Before possessing cane, it is necessary to pass a rigorous series of tests to ascertain that your carrying-a-cane-in-a-nonchalant-yet-evil-fashion skills are up to scratch).
Curses and Counter-Curses by Professor Vindictus Viridian
Death Eater may also own snake or dragon or hippogriff. But only Lord Voldemort may possess a basilisk.
Death Eater Rules:
No Death Eater shall be a spy for Dumbledore.
Frequently Asked Questions:
What happens if Voldemort is displeased with me?
As this is a fairly run (and currently short-staffed) organization, you will probably receive a warning. And some soul-destroying torture. A second offense and you will probably die a slow death. Options include:
Being slowly eaten by a manticore.
What should I do if I decide to leave the organization?
Make your funeral arrangements as quickly as possible.
What is the salary like?
You should be in this job for the principle of the thing, not for sordid reasons. So let's just say that it's much, much better than they pay at the Ministry. There will also be opportunities for pillage, looting, theft, etc., and Christmas bonuses are guaranteed.
Does the Dark Mark hurt?
Of course it does; this is an evil society after all. What are you, a wimp?
Can the Dark Mark be removed by laser treatment?
No. Only a moron would ask such a stupid question.
But it can be temporarily obscured by a good-quality concealer. (Make sure it's a shade darker than your skin tone, as a lighter shade will simply draw attention to the tattoo. Pat translucent powder over the concealer to make it last longer.)
Is there a retirement age for Death Eaters?
You probably won't live long enough to have to deal with this problem.
Can I kill personal enemies or just opponents of Voldemort?
Murder is encouraged on principle; however, personal killings should be reserved for each individual Death Eater's free time, as obviously serving Lord Voldemort is much more important. Occasional massacre outings/ dark revels may take place as rewards for good (i.e. bad) behavior.
What should I do if Voldemort is defeated at the height of his powers by a one-year-old boy?
This circumstance is so unlikely that there is no point devising a protocol to deal with it.
The Death Eater Anthem
(To be memorised by each new recruit as soon as possible). Please note that this tune should never, never, never, never be sung to the tune of "Blackadder," an inane Muggle television program to which we are completely oblivious and never watch. Honestly.
Who lurk beneath the undergrowth?
Being a Death Eater is naturally a dangerous job. Lord Voldemort accepts no liability for any pain/suffering/torture/impalement/loss of limbs/grievous bodily harm/disintegration/insanity/imprisonment/loss of soul/death which you may experience while in his service. No good will come of any attempts to sue him as a negligent employer. Trust us.
However, in order to protect members, these safety guidelines have been developed for Death Eaters both during leisure time and on missions for the Dark Lord:
Don't try to take out Harry Potter yourself. It is extremely presumptuous. Leave it to Lord Voldemort, who has much more practice.
Employ masterly deceit to conceal your allegiance to the Dark Lord: e.g., if someone accuses you of being a Death Eater, laugh carelessly and say: "No, I am not a Death Eater. Would you like a cup of tea?" This Machiavellian trickery should be enough to convince them.
If this does not convince your accuser, have them discreetly murdered. (Sussex and Fox Ltd, of 13, Knockturn Alley, run a very efficient assassination service and are currently offering cut-price deals for friends and associates of the Dark Lord. Present your membership card at the counter for further details.)
Keep your wand on you at all times, even if you are asleep/on a hot date/in the bath/on the beach/wearing very tight-fitting leather garments (or all of these at once).
Ostentatious indicators of evil, such as manic laughter/dressing entirely in black swooshy robes (Snape, this means you)/ making sinister comments/killing people should be practiced only in private.
If you suspect someone of being a spy, kill them and their family at the first opportunity. If it turns out they were not a spy at all, pass it off as a light-hearted practical joke.
Only eat food prepared by yourself or your faithful minions. Do not trust your spouse(s)/partner(s), no matter how pretty he/she/they may be.
Similarly, do not accept drinks from anyone. This may cause offense when visiting a pub or bar but it's better than being dead. Obviously.
Do not take off your mask for any reason while on a mission. If people see your face while you are conjuring the Dark Mark/ massacring etc, they may suspect that you are a Death Eater.
Do not try to smoke while wearing your mask, as it is not fireproof.
Never address your colleagues by name while on a mission. Survivors may recall it at a later date. For the same reason, never mention your address or telephone number to anyone you are kidnapping/raping/torturing/killing, no matter how attractive they may be. Evil relationship experts have stated that romance is unlikely to flourish under such circumstances anyway.
Burn all sensitive documents. Not only will this deter spies, it is also amusing as it contributes to global warming.
Set up an anti-Apparating spell round your residence (but make sure you have a Portkey handy so you're not embarrassingly trapped there if the place is attacked by Aurors).
Prepare a secret hideout for yourself should your cover be blown. Failure to do this may lead to your sharing a hideout with another Death Eating family, which often results in friction over use of bathroom facilities, television, etc.
Don't upset Lord Voldemort. It will only end in tears. (And multiple burns, fractured limbs, mortal torment, etc.)
The 27 Commandments of Fanfiction (I'm sorry, I had to, I love this, and it really needs to be resepcted more. I do my best with this!)
1. Thou shalt not post a fic until it has been checked for grammar and spelling errors. The fanfiction gods hath given you a spellchecker on the computer for good reason. Use it.
2.Thou shalt not post a chapter of less than 100 words, unless it is a drabble. This displeases the masses.
3.Thou shalt not put author's notes in the middle of the story.
4.Thou shalt NEVER use text-speak in a fic, unless the characters are actually texting.
5.Thou shalt keep to one tense, and only one, throughout the story. Do not switch randomly.
6.Apply the above number 5 to POVs as well.
7. Thou shalt not get offended when someone makes fun of the crack pairing featured in your fanfiction. It probably is rather hilarious.
8.Thou shalt not use , ;, or >:( in a fanfiction to show the emotion exhibited by a character.
9.Thou shall try-eth to keep characters in character!
10.Thou shall not treat every criticism as a flame.
11.The author's note is not a spot for your personal drama, and thou shalt not make it so.
12.Thou shalt not put any form of the phrase "first fic" in thy summary.
13. Thy created characters must not have names that exceed five syllables in length. Nor shall thy name have more than five words in length.
14. Thou shall not insert thyself into the story line as thyself or as a character- yes we know that you are in love with yourself and are very narcissistic, we just don’t want to read about how you end up with the main character.
15.If thou art writing a story that does not follow the original story line, point it out in the beginning.
16.Thou shall not make a person randomly smart or powerful unless stating a reason for the change (a good reason).
17.Thou shalt show and not tell.
18.Thou shalt not EVER use the phrase "I suck at summaries" in-est thine summary. This annoys thine readers.
19.Thou shalt not write the same way thou speak-est- writing is an art.
20.Thou shalt ALWAYS spell the word "okay" correctly. Using the letter "K" is an unacceptable compromise.
21. Thou shalt only use clichés when thou a) art writing a parody or b) find a new and interesting twist to make such clichés bearable to thine reader.
22. Thou shalt always separate dialogue from two separate speakers in two separate paragraphs. Otherwise thine readers shalt be confuse-ed.
23. Thou shalt not EVER make a chapter all one paragraph. THIS INFURIATES BOTH THINE READER AND THE FANFICTION GODS. They have given thee an ENTER key with good reason.
24. Thou shalt not write with thy caps lock on, it displeases the masses and causes thy readers to lose their vision and make angels weep.
25. Thou shalt know how to spell the character's names correctly before you writeth the fic. Misspelling the name of the main characters makes readers angry and distracts from the story.
26. Thou shalt not say in thine summary "summary inside". This shows lack of creativeness and infuriates the masses. The only exception is when a summary is cut short and a continuation of it lies inside.
27. Thou shall use paragraphs and space the story so it is not terrifyingly daunting to thine readers.
Now this is the Law of the Jungle,
as old and as true as the sky,
And the Wolf that shall keep it may prosper,
but the Wolf that shall break it must die.
As the creeper that girdles the tree trunk,
the Law runneth forward and back;
For the strength of the Pack is the Wolf,
and the strength of the Wolf is the Pack. Rudyard Kipling (Mentioned in the City of Lost Souls- The Mortal Instruments)
“If you want to know what a man's like, take a good look at how he treats his inferiors, not his equals" J.K Rowling in Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire.
“It is our choices, Harry, that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.” J.K Rowling in Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets.
“It takes a great deal of bravery to stand up to our enemies, but just as much to stand up to our friends.” J.K Rowling in Harry Potter and Philosopher's stone.
“It is impossible to live without failing at something, unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not have lived at all - in which case, you fail by default.” J.K Rowling.
“It is the unknown we fear when we look upon death and darkness, nothing more.” J.K Rowling in Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince.
“We are only as strong as we are united, as weak as we are divided.” J.K. Rowling in Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire.
“We're all human, aren't we? Every human life is worth the same, and worth saving.” J.K Rowling in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows.
"He can run faster than Severus Snape confronted with shampoo.” J.K Rowling in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows.
“You're a prefect? Oh Ronnie! That's everyone in the family!"
“With great power... comes great need to take a nap. Wake me up later.” Rick Riordan in Percy Jackson, The last Olympian.
“If my life is going to mean anything, I have to live it myself.” Rick Riordan in Percy Jackson, The lightening thief.
“Be careful of love. It'll twist your brain around and leave you thinking up is down and right is wrong.” Rick Riordan in Percy Jackson, The Battle of the Labyrinth.
“Love conquers all," Aphrodite promised. "Look at Helen and Paris. Did they let anything come between them?"
"I learned a long time ago: Never bet against Annabeth." Rick Riordan in Heroes of Olympus, The Mark of Athena.
“Our baboon was going completely sky goddess - which is to say, nuts.” Rick Riordan in The Kane Chronicles, The Red Pyramid.
“Fairness means everyone gets what they need. And the only way to get what you need is to make it happen yourself.” Rick Riordan in The Kane Chronicles, The Red Pyramid.
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