Poll: Cashmere,Gloss, Brutus or Enobaria? Vote Now!
Author has written 16 stories for Hunger Games, Victorious, House of Night, and Percy Jackson and the Olympians.
Hiyaa! I'm Clove'sShinyKnife! But you can call me Clo or Shiny. :3
I have 10 projects up now, and im busy with more, so stay tuned.
My favorite Pairings:
Darkest Powers: Derek/Chloe (Chlerek) - they are adorably awkward together
The Hunger Games: Clove/Cato (Clato) - I LOVE THEM!!! They totally should've won! I can't stand it that they died!
Harry Potter: Ginny/Harry
House of night: Zoey/Stark - they make me cry so much.
Vampire Diaries: Tyler/Caroline
ICarly: Freddie/Carly - Creddie
While We Can: Sequal to While We're Young. Clove is in the Hunger Games. Cato is left at home to take Care of Caroline. 4th chapter up!
Beautifull - Cashmere's GamesSee ive always been curious about how Cashmere's and Gloss's games went. So i decided to make a fanfic about it. This is part one. Part Two is Gloss's Games.
High Maintance - Glimmer and Clove have known each other since childhood, and suprisingly these two are best friends. The most gorgeous girls in all of Panem only deserve the best - that also includes bff's and boyfriends.
Foxface's Games:Foxface's Games.
Just Friends:Clato Oneshot. To the Song Just Friends by Shane Harper
Mandarin (the Girl i Gave My Life For) -Clove Massae volunteers for her little sister MAndarin, together with her boyfriend Cato Bryans. She promises to get home, knowing that it has to be either Cato or herself. But what if a Seam girl from District Twelve has the same plan?
I'll Win for You - Haysilee One Shot. Maysilee and Haymitch in her last moments.
Love Alone - Clato one shot. Clove has been feeling something stronger than friendship for Cato, and is thrilled to hear that he feels the same. But he keeps avoiding the subject..
Cato's Child - Clove and Cato had a baby, just one month before the 74th Reaping. But Clove never came home to Ava, and Cato did. Andhe begrudges the baby ever since.
Glarvel One-Shot: To The Song "Ready Or Not"By Bridgit Mendler.
Projects coming up:
Gorgeous - Gloss's Games Same as with , except from Gloss's pov. We all know they won - but how did they win?
What a Girl Wants - Glimmer Aedas, the beauty girl from District One, volunteers for the Hunger Games with high arrogance. Shes hoping - no, going- to sweep all the guys off their feet. But when a Girl from district Two gets all the attention that Glímmer réally deserves, Glimmer needs to find a way to turn the tables. (Ps. The story will be way beter than the summary xD)
A Glarvel One-Shot, as requested. Marvel and Glimmer did not know each other before they went to the Games, although alot of people write that they do. This how they begin to love each other, eventhough the curcumstances are against it?
Breadboy and Fire Girl A Peeniss Fanfic. After the Games. Peeta has no family, Katniss has no sister. The only people they see as family are Greasy Sae, Greasy Sae's granddaughter, and Haymitch Abernathy. But lately, everybody seems to be picking up their lives again. And whats wrong with Haymitch?
So, me and my friend Ink and Frozen Tears (neé Nightlock Angel 786) had this idea for a fanfic. Its a song fic to the song Demons by Imahine Dragons. Check out the first part on her profile, and here is part two!
So they dug your grave,And the masquerade,Will come calling out,At the mess you made
I sat alone in a cave near a small clearing. Outside the thunder storm was raging.
Don’t want to let you down,But I am hell bound,Though this is all for you,Don’t want to hide the truth
I knew that i had to win for Clove, because otherwise she wouldnt be remembered. Her family barely cared about her, although Enobaria would remember her at times, i guessed.
I was on the cornucopia, fighting with the Twelves. Finally, i manage to grab hold of Peeta. I just stare at FireGirl, who aims at me, while holding Loverboy in an iron lock. I knew i couldnt win -id known it all along. I just never wanted to believe it. As soon as i did, i would know id let Clove down.
They say it's what you make,I say it's up to fate,It's woven in my soul,I need to let you go
An arrow to the hand set me stumbling and falling off the Cornucopia, into the grasp of the Tribute-like Muttations. One of them, the leader of the pack, looked way to much like Clove.
So that was my part! Pm me your reviews, id love to hear what you think! xx
To all of you who have been oppressed and have had your Submit your Own Tribute stories reported. WE ARE REBELLING! It's time to start governing our OWN stories and if these people can't leave us be, then we WILL strike back! There are far too many SYOTs out there for them to start reporting us now and if we don't do something about it, these stories will cease to exist. I am getting a petition going to show the mediators of FF.net that we want that rule changed for the peace of mind of us Hunger Game fans! If you're with me, please copy and paste the petition below onto your profile and type your pen name so that others will know you're on board. (And after you're done, please PM me so I know that you signed so I can keep an eye on this thing.) Once we hit 500 pen names, we'll aim for 1,000. Thanks to everyone for reading this and in the words of the great Katniss Everdeen... "Fire is Catching! And if we burn, you burn with us!" Yours sincerely, Bittersweet Applesauce, the epic bookworm, skittlesgirl99,curly guy, ThatBlondeGirl130, AllHailPercyJackson, DemiGodGirl1000, Captain-random64, Leemur35 (its growing day by day), EvilhariboMadness, Charlie3Cato
Why do Boys Fall in Love with Girls
(This was written by a guy)
It better be true!! I don't think it will, but these things are so cute. Those reason kept me saying "AWW!" the whole time. So sappy!
When you were 9 years old, he paid for piano lessons. You thanked him
When you were 10 years old he drove you all day, from soccer to
When you were 11 years old, he took you and your friends to
When you were 12 years old, he warned you not to watch
When you were 13, he suggested a haircut that was in fashion.
When you were 14, he paid for a month away at summer camp.
When you were 15, he came home from work, looking for a hug.
When you were 16, he taught you how to drive his car. You
When you were 17, he was expecting an important call. You thanked him
When you were 18, he cried at your high school graduation. You thanked
When you were 19, he paid for your college tuition, drove you to campus
When you were 25, he helped to pay for your wedding, and he told you
When you were 50, he fell ill and needed you to take care of him . You
And then, one day, he quietly died. And everything you never did came
If you love your dad, post this on your profile.
(Whether you're reading this or not, dad, I love you.)
STUPID THINGS YOU DID (THE BOLD ONES I DID, SO YOU CAN SEE HOW MUCH DUMB THINGS I DO)
1. Forgot to put the lid on the blender, turned it on, and had everything fly out
4. Had gum fall out of your mouth while you were talking
Conclusion: Im a F*ing idiot.
QUESTIONS ABOUT YOU:
Name without vowels- Chrl Twnsnd Chrl Vn Bk
You single?- Yup. nearly taken.. .but not yet >:/ Yup..
Favourite number?- 2 still 2
Colour you wear most?- Blue or black And purple
Least favourite colour?- Bright Orange Eww and Red. I dont like the colour red, it sqeeqs me out
Favourite candy?- Chocolate 5eva.
What do you smoke?- nothing. 0.o stop asking this. Im a good girl, okay?
Are you happy with my life right now?- Yeah, i guess. sure bb.
Anyone ever said you resemble a celebrity?- Yes. Apparantly i am a total Glamour cat and i look like Selena Gomez(my face) IDK Yup. Apparently now i look like Minka Kelly.
What is/was your favourite class in school?- English and Lit Drama class and German-at times.
How do you make money?- Paperroute Im between jobs, but im gonna work at a toy shop soon.
Are you outgoing?- Yeah, but only for people i like. Yea, i guess. But only when i wanna be
One word to describe you?- Glamourcat Uhm.. Yup - Glamourcat
Favourite pair of shoes- Grey heels -5eva!
Do you own big sunglasses?- yes. at least 3pairs 5 pairs now.
Where do you wish you were right now?- In either Amerika or England or with my bff In England with my family.
What should you be doing right now?- Nothing really. Cleaning my room..
Honestly, what are you doing right now?- Writing a new fanfic Listening to He Is We, and filling in this test again. Obviously.
Honestly, have you done something bad today?- Not that i know of... Yeah youd like to know wouldnt you?!
Honestly, who is the last person you spoke to on the phone?- My bff Maroesja Maroesja.
Honestly, are you jealous of someone right now?- Yes. Everyone with a mobile phone.
Honestly, what makes you mad most of the time?- the boy in my class, named Boner (yup that be his name) BONER!
Honestly, do you bite your nails?- yes. Yup, still.
Honestly, do you want to see someone this very moment?- Yes. My best friend Erik. I kinda miss him, its va-cay time My cousine Emily.
Honestly, do you have a friend you don't actually like?- YES I DO! I still hate her.
Can you blow a bubble?- no, i cant. Maybe i schould learn.
Can you dance?- yes! Yupp
Can you do a cartwheel?- Nope, i cant. Still learning I really wanna do that.
Can you tie a cherry stem with your mouth?-What is that? Nopee.
Can you whistle?- Yeah, a bit. I can do the Rue 4 note song Still only Rues song.
Can you wiggle your ears?- No... No.. Weirdo.
Can you wiggle your nose?- Yes Yea, i sqeek my friends out with it buyt my bff Gloria can make her hands shake and its scary so i guess it evens out, right?
Can you roll your tongue?- Yup Yes, i can.
Can you make a clover with your tongue?- No. Is that possible? o.0 Did you say CLOVER? XD
What do you do when you're mad?- Cuss at every one and everything. Just how i roll. Slam doors, throw stuff, yell abuse. Joyfull lil me.
What's the worst thing you've done when you're mad?- Hit my Erik..
Ever made anyone cry when you're mad?- Yep...
Ever really cries your heart out?- Yes. Yup.
Ever cried yourself to sleep?- Once. Yes.
Ever cried on your friends shoulder?- Yes. On Erik's... countless times actually. Yes. Alot.
Ever cried over the opposite gender?- yes. Boys are assholes.
Ever cried over the same gender?- Yes. Girls are f*ing b*ches.
Do you cry when you get an injury?- yes, but mostly mixed with alot of cussing Not that much anymore.
Do certain songs make you cry?- Yes. Absolutley.
Do certain movies make you cry?- YES!! YES!!!
Are you usually a happy person?- yeah, but it mostly depends what im doing and who im around Yes. Even around Boner.
What makes you happiest?- Being with Maroesja or Erik. Clove and Cato. Writing. Writing. Reading Divergent.
Does being with your friends make you happy?- Nearly always Absolutley.
Do you believe in yourself?- eh, sometimes. Only whenm i have to
Do you wish you were happier?- Sometimes Nope, happy enough
Is being happy overrated?- No, not at all.
Does music make you happy?- Yes, very Yes.
Do you actually hate anyone?- YES! There's a whole list.. :/ Only a fe w people now
Ever made a hit-list?- HELL YEAH
Have you ever been on a hit-list?- Probably on Boner's a couple times. Hiya Boner *waves*
Are you a mean bully?- I was, in 6th grade. But i stopped and now he's a really good friend :D Was.
Do you hate your President?- dont have one. Still dont have one. Well, i have a minister president and hes not the sharpest tool in the shed.
What shirt are you wearing?- A pyjama shirt. A purple hoodie
Shoes?- Barefoot. Boots.
Necklace(s)- Nah. One i got from my friend. It has some gem stone on it that stands for friendship or some spiri-wiri stuff
HAVE YOU EVER?:
Hugged someone?- Yes :) Aduh.
Laughed so hard you cried?- HELL YEAH Today in German.
Kissed someone?- Yes.. :$ Once-okay lies, but..
Person you spoke to in person?- Gloria, my friend.
Person you talked to online?- Thirza, another friend.
Person you hugged?-Barry, one of my very best friends.
Do you like surveys?- eh, Sometimes Depends.
Do you get along with your parents?- yes. When im upstairs.
Do you have mental breakdowns?- a few times a month
Current mood?- Happy. 3 guesses why? :$ Nutral
Current hair-style?- I did my hair as Clove from the hunger games. XD Trying to learn how to do a fish braid.
Current windows open?- None, its raining out. On a crack.
Current desktop picture?- A photo of my group of friends at school CLATO
Did you ever get into a fist-fight in school?- HELL YEAH! Not recently.
Did you ever run away from home?- yes, i have. Twice.
Did you ever want to be a doctor?- No, i cant stand blood. Funny, i like gory movies and junk xD Nope. Never.
Did you ever want to be a firefighter?- No, fire terrifies me.
Do you know how to swim?- Yes Yes.
Do you like roller-coasters?- No, ABSOLUTLEY NOT
Do you own a bike?- Yes, 2 even.
Do you think you could handle the stuff on reality shows?- Yes. My life practically is a reality show.
Does hair loss run in your family?- Nope No, not for the girls at least 0.0
Does you car get good gas mileage?- I don't have a car yet... IDH1
Does your family have family picnics?- No sadly not. I WISH
Have you ever been on a plane?- Twice! Twice! :D
Have you ever been to the ocean?- Yes Yup, Holland is beside an ocean so youd thinks so right?
Have you ever painted your nails?- Yup, yesterday with Maroesja Saterday-with Maroesja
Have you ever been in a fist fight?- YES SQUILIONS OF TIMES!! :D SQUILIONS OF TIMES
How much money do you have right now?- I'm broke. I spended my last onthe Hunger Games premiere :) ! 3 Euros.- Which i owe Barry because he bought me a sandwich
The last person you hung out with?- Maroesja Gloria
Last thing someone said to you?- "GET YOUR ASS DOWN HERE AND DO THE DISHES!" "Kay see ya"
Last thing you said out loud?- "New Clato Story." in randomness, and the last line i sung is "I Cant Love Alone..." Im Singing Kiss It All Better -does that count?
What are you listening to?- Katelyn Tarver, aka Jo from Big Time Rush He Is She and Parachute
What is the weather outside?- Raining :/ Cloudy - typical Dutch weather. FML
What radio station do you listen to?- Q Music BBC RADIO 1
What was the last resturant you ate at?- McDonald's, with my friend Bryce and her family Pancake house with my syblings and grandpa
What was the last thing you had to drink?- Pink Lemonade Fanta
THINGS TO DO IN THE SWIMMING POOL
1. Splash water on a random person and then say "Sorry! I thought you were someone else!" Do this constantly
2. Splash water on people who are trying to get a tan.
3. If a person is lying next to the pool, grin at them and then scream "See ya later, suckas'!" Then jump in and pretend you are swimming as fast as you can but actually swim very slowly.
4. Bring a watergun and get all the people wet.
5. Swim very slowly into the middle of the pool, then yell "Whirlpool! Whirlpool! Somebody kill the Kraken!"
6. If someone runs at full-speed and jumps in the pool, yell "Are you NUTS! You could have killed me!"
7. Swim to a person with goggles and then say "Watch this underwater!" Then dive and do the boogie dance
8. Swim in front of a person and stand on your hands underwater, and follow them around. When they say something, tell them that you are trying to practise and they are bothering you.
9. When you are swimming near a fat, old lady, sing the song "I like the way".
10. Start throwing rocks in the pool and sing "Take it off" by Kesha. Act really crazy and run all around after.
Things to do in an Elevator
Walk on with a cooler that is labeled "HUMAN HEAD" on the side.
Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering "Shut up, all of you, just shut up!"
Crack open your briefcase of purse, and while peering inside, ask, "Got enough air in there?
Stand silently and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off. (I did this one. My mom told me to knock it off because I was scaring people)
When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.
Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral.
Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose.
Stare at another passenger for awhile, then announce in horror, "You're one of THEM" and back away slowly.
Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to the other passengers.Listen to the elevator walls with your stethoscope.
Annouce in a demonic voice, "I must find a more suitable host body."
Say "Ding" at each floor.
Say "I wonder what all these do?" and push all the red buttons.
Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
Stare, grinning at another passenger for awhile, and then announce, "I have new socks on. (I also did this one. And I actually was wearing new socks)
"When the elevator is silent, look around and ask, "Is that your beeper?"
Try to make personal calls on the emergency phone.
Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers, "This is my personal space."
When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn't you.
Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock, smile, and go back for more.
Ask if you can push the button for other people, but push the wrong ones.
Pretend to call the Psychic Hotline from your cell phone and ask if they know what floor you're on.
Hold the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say, "Hi Greg. How's your day been?"
Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream, "That's mine!"
Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the elevator.
Move your desk in to the elevator and whenever someone gets on, ask if they have an appointment.
Lay down a Twister mat and ask people if they'd like to play.
Leave a box in the corner, and when someone gets on, ask them if they hear something ticking.
Pretend you are a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.
Stand really close to someone, sniffing them occasionally.
When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay. Don't panic, they open up again."
Swat at flies that don't exist.
Tell people that you can see their aura.
Make race car noises when anyone gets on or off.
On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go "plink" at the bottom.
When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back: "Oh, not now... motion sickness!"
Frown and mutter "gotta go, gotta go" then sigh and say "oops!"
Leave a box between the doors.
Wave hands wildly at invisible flies buzzing around your head.
Start a sing-along.
Do Tai Chi exercisesWhen at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back: "Oh, not now, damn motion sickness!"
Carry a blanket and clutch it protectively.
If anyone brushes against you, recoil and holler "Bad touch!"
Sing "Mary had a little lamb" while continually pushing buttons.
Bring a chair along.
Lean against the button panel.
While the doors are opening, hurriedly whisper, "Hide it...quick!" then whistle innocently.
Call out, "group hug!", then enforce it.
Her name was Auroura
Her dad was a drunk
Her only friend
She always talked to it
Until her parents
A bruise on her leg
But she grabs her bear
She sits in the corner
Such a bad life
Then one night
Then her mom suddenly
She thrusted the blade
The mom walked out
Police showed up
One officer slowly
It must have been bad
If child abuse makes you sick and you think it's horrible and should be stopped, put this poem on your profile.
FRIENDS:Never ask for anything to eat or drink.
FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.
FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail.
FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.
FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.
FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.
FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.
FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.
FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.
FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college. (aka: lunch buddies)
FRIENDS: Will comfort you when the guy rejects you.
FRIENDS: Would ignore this letter.
Girl: Do I ever cross your mind?
Girl: Do you like me?
Girl: Do you want me?
Girl: Would you cry if I left?
Girl: Would you live for me?
Girl: Would you do anything for me?
Girl: Choose--me or your life
Boy: My life
The girl runs away in shock and pain and the boy runs after her and says...
The reason you never cross my mind is because you're always on my mind.
The reason why I don't like you is because I love you.
The reason I don't want you is because I need you.
The reason I wouldn't cry if you left is because I would die if you left.
The reason I wouldn't live for you is because I would die for you.
The reason why I'm not willing to do you anything for you is because I would do everything for you.
The reason I chose my life is because you ARE my life.
Reasons why girls are the best:
1.We got off the Titanic first
2. We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls, and are nice to us when we blow up our computers.
3. Our boyfriend's clothes make us look fucking gorgeous. Guys look like complete idiots in ours.
4. We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.
5. We can cry and get off speeding fines.
6. We've never lusted after the central female figure in a computer game.
7. Taxis stop for us.
8. Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance.
9. We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.
10. Free drinks, Free dinners, Free movies ... (you get the point).
11. We can hug our friends without wondering if she thinks we're gay.
12. We can hug our friends without wondering if WE'RE gay.
13. New lipstick gives us a whole new lease on life.
14. It's possible to live our whole lives without ever taking a group shower.
15. We don't have to fart to amuse ourselves.
16. If we forget to shave, no one has to know.
17. We can congratulate our team-mate without ever touching her butt.
18. If we have a zit, we know how to conceal it.
19. If we're dumb, some people will find it cute.
20 funny things to do when about to start an exam
1)When given your exam exclaim "Yay food" and eat your exam, tomato sauce is optional.
2)In the middle of the exam stand up and rip your exam up and throw it up into the air and scream "Happy birthday, It's a white Christmas"
3) When done with your exam and the teacher asks for it hold it tightly and say "No these documents are highly classified"
4) Half way into the exam stand up and scream "And he scores!"
5) Ten minutes into the exam walk up to the teachers desk and hand her your blank exam, when she asks where are the answers say "I filled them in with invisible ink, you need invisible glasses to read them"
6) In the middle of your exam, raise your head slowly and say in a deep voice "It's time" Then stand up and exclaim "Everybody dance now!" and start dancing.
7) Miss an exam and the next day when the teacher asks where you were say "I was here but I was wearing Harry Potter's cloak of invisibility"
8) Walk to the front of the class and scream as loud as you can "COME TO THE DARK SIDE, WE HAVE COOKIES!"
9) Refuse to do your exam and say "I am trying to cut down on exams"
10) Stand up and sing "I am walking on Sunshine" and start dancing.
11) Run out screaming "Run away, Fire, Fire!"
12) Make up random answers on your exam like "I like Pickles"
13)Take one of your Bakugan into the exam and ten minutes into the test shout "Did you hear that, My Bakugan just talked to me, now I can go defeat Naga!" Then look at your watch and say "Shun can you teach me some ninja moves? Pretty pleeeeeease?!"
14) Shout random catch phrases like "To the Bat mobile" or "Take that you dirty alien scum" or "Get your hands off me you damn dirty ape!"
15) Go up to the black board and write "The curse will be with you" Then run out screaming "The curse will be with you"
16) If you didn't study, when the teacher hands out the exam say "Sorry wrong class" and walk out.
17) Shout the wrong answers out.
18) Stand up and shout "Exercise time!" and run up and down the rows.
19)Put your hand up and ask "Ms/ Mr I don't understand this question" Then when she/he says "Ok I'll help you" Say "No it's OK" then whisper to the person next to you "Gimme your exam"
20) When walking in the exam room, don't walk skip up to the teacher's desk, take an exam and skip out shouting "Skip to the lu my darling!"
"I love you!"
"Nope, I love you even more"
"What a liar, im bigger so i have more space for love"
"Yeah, im shorter, but my love cells are compressed, that why i love you even more."
"What? that's stupid!"
"No is not. Moreover, i can feel i love you more because it hurts me to be separated."
"It hurts me too! so how do you know i dont miss you even more?"
"Because im a girl! and I know all those things!"
A guy and a girl were speeding over 100km on a motorcyle.
Girl: Slow down!
Guy: No this is fun!
Girl: No it's not! Please, it's way to scary!
Guy: Then tell me you love me.
Girl: I love you. Now slow down.
Guy: Now give me a big hug.
She gave him a big hug.
Guy: Can you take off my helmet and put it on yourself? It's bothering me.
In the newspaper, the next day, a motorcycle crashed into a building because of break failure.
Two people were on it and only one survived.
The truth was, that half way down the road the guy realized his breaks were out and he didn't want the girl to know.
Instead, he had her hug him and tell him she loved him one last time. Then he had her put his helmet on so she would live even if it meant he would die.
If you would do the same for someone you loved, copy and paste this into your profile.
Dear (the last person you talked to),
I don't really know how to tell you this, but 1. I think I realized it 2 3 and I saw you 4 5. I'm sure you're 6 enough to understand 7. I'm returning 8 to you, but I'll keep 9 as a memory. You should also know that I 10 11.
1. What's the color of your shirt?
2. Which is your birth month?
3. Which food do you prefer?
4. What's the color of your socks?
5. What's the color of your underwear?
6. What do you prefer to watch on TV?
7. Your mood right now?
8. What's the color of your walls in your bedroom?
9. The first letter of your first name?
10. The last letter in your last name?
11. What do you prefer to drink?
12. To which country would you prefer to go on a vacation?
I don't really know how to tell you this, but I'll join the monastery. I think I realized it that night under a state of trance and I saw you sit on my father. I'm sure you're emotional enough to understand the middle east. I'm returning the couch cushions to you, but I'll keep the oil stocks as a memory. You should also know that I always wanted to break eggplant-fetishism.
Good luck on your short-term leave from jail
How to Tell if You're a Writer:
-If you talk to yourself.
1.YOUR REAL NAME: Charlotte
2. YOUR GANGSTA NAME: (first 3 letters of real name plus izzle): Chaizzle (what the hell?)
3. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (fav color and fav animal): blue bunny.I want one of those!! :D
4. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name, and what people call you): Anne Squirl
5. YOUR STAR WARS NAME: (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first name, last 3 letters of mom's maiden name): Towchlee... (wtf?)
6. YOUR SUPERHERO NAME: (2nd favorite color, favorite drink): pink cola (that sound pretty cool actually)
7. YOUR ARAB NAME: (2nd letter of your first name, 3rd letter of your last name, any letter of your middle name, 2nd letter of your moms maidenname, 3rd letter of you dads middle name, 1st letter of a siblings first name, last letter of your moms middle name): Hwaehsn - okay, WTF?!
9. YOUR GOTH NAME: Black and the name of one your pets: Black Chese
10. YOUR ROCK STAR NAME: Favorite fruit and something that can go wrong: strawberry faceplant (actually, thats pretty frickin cool xD )
11. YOUR PIRATE NAME (Any color with a pirate accessory):Yellow hook. Kay kay... -_-
For people that hate stereotypes: If you think people should just shut up and stop, put this on your profile. (BOLD the ones you are.)
I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.
I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.
I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz
I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.
I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.
I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.
I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell.
I'm a CHRISTIAN, so I MUST think gay people should go to hell.
I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat
I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world.
I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals.
I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.
I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.
I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.
I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.
I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.
I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.
I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore.
I'm a DANCER, So I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I MUST be a slut.
I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.
I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.
I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.
I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.
I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.
I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals.
I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a "big one".
I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!
I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.
I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.
I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.
I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.
I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be a player.
I have Big BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.
I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.
I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and that's how Russians roll.
I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.
I hang out with GAYS, so I must be GAY TOO.
I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.
I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited.
I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy.
I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas.
I'm a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction.
I'm a VIRGIN so I MUST be prude.
I'm STRAIGHT EDGE so I must be violent.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly
I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.
I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.
I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.
I'm a SKATER so I must do weed and steal stuff
I'm a PUNK so I must only wear black and date only other punks
I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7
I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals.
I'm MIXED so I must be screwed up.
I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.
I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.
I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA
I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect
I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black
I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil.
I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.
I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.
I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.
I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.
I'm on a DANCE team, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.
I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.
I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.
I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon
I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot.
I'm an ASIAN GUY, so I MUST have a small penis.
I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay.
I'm a PREP, so I MUST be rich.
I don't like the SUN so I MUST be an albino. (when it's over obsessively bright)
I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.
I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.
I couldn't hurt a FLY, So I MUST be a pussy.
I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone.
I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too.
I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.
I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.
I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.
I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.
My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.
I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch.
I'm a NUDIST, so I MUST want everyone to see my boobs.
I read Comics, so I MUST be a loser.
I hang out with a FORMER PROSTITUTE so I MUST be a whore myself.
I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse
I’m a CROSSDRESSER, So I must be gay
I draw ANIME so I MUST be a freak.
I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.
I WATCH PORN so I MUST be perverted.
I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled.
I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak
I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.
I'm WELSH so I MUST love sheep
I'm SCOTTISH so I MUST have ginger hair and wear skirts (It's actually called a kilt)
I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.
I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend.
I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers.
I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare.
I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth.
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.
I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.
I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE.
I'm an ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and is A MURDERER!
I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth.
I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.
I don't like YAOI or YURI, so I must be a HOMOPHOBE
I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser
I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy
I have a FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-sue.
I CHAT, I MUST be having cyber sex.
I'm PAGAN so I MUST sacrifice babies and drink the blood of virgins
I'm PAGAN so I MUST worship Satan
I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion
I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blond blue-eyed lesbian.
I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see.
I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE.
I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.
I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED.
I am WICCAN, so I MUST be a SATANIST.
I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.
I am a WITCH, so I MUST be and OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick.
I love YAOI, so I MUST be GAY.
I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast
I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish
I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE.
I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard.
I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean.
I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid.
I'm Australian so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroo’s
I go to RENFAIRES, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up with the times
I’m GAY so I’m after EVERY straight guy around.
I don’t want a BOYFRIEND so I MUST be Lesbian.
I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting.
I love marching band, so I MUST be a friendless freak.
I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life.
I am friends with a CUTTER, so I MUST be a CUTTER too.
I cry easily, so I MUST be a wimp.
I can't help pointing out mistakes so I MUST be an over-controlling perfectionist
To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity
1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.
2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.
3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that.
4. When caught sleeping at school/work/wherever you are not supposed to be sleeping, and you are woken up, shout, "AMEN!"
5.Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.
6.In the Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write For (own name)
7.Finish All Your sentences with 'In Accordance With The Prophecy'.
9. Skip down the hall Rather Than Walk and see how many looks you get.
10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.
11.Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is 'To Go'.
12. Sing Along At The Opera.
14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area and Play tropical Sounds All Day.
15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You have a headache.
17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream 'I Won! I Won!'
18. When Leaving the Zoo, Start Running towards the Parking lot, Yelling 'Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!'
19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner,'Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.'
20 And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity .
Copy and Paste this To Make People who read bios Smile
HELLO AND WELCOME TO THE MENTAL HEALTH HOTLINE.
If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
If you have multiple personalities, press 3,4,5, and 6.
If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call.
If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to your mother ship.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which button to press.
If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, no one will answer.
If you are dyslexic, press 96969696969696969696969696969696.
If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the hash key until a representative comes on the line.
If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, phone number, and date of birth, social security number and your mother's maiden name.
If you have post traumatic stress disorder, slowly and carefully press 000.
If you have bipolar disorder, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep. Or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.
If you have short term memory loss, press 9.
If you have short term memory loss, press 9.
If you have short term memory loss, press 9.
If you have low self-esteem, please hang up. All our operators are too busy to talk to you.
*tries to open easy open can* "I thought this was supposed to be easy!" *uses knife*
Dad: "so what do you guys want?" all three brothers "a lightsaber" Dad: "why?" younger brother: "so I can be a jedi" Middle brother: "so that nobody will mess with me" Older brother: "so I can finally easily open easy open cans"
*tab on easy open can breaks* "damn" *tries to use can opener* "damn" *tries to stab it open* "damn" *looks around and sees nobody around* *activates lightsaber*
*Revs up chainsaw* brother: "what are you doing?" older brother "about to open an easy open can" *younger brother pulls the tab and opens it easily* older brother: "I hate you."
7 Ways to Scare your roommates
7) Buy some knives. Sharpen them every night. While you're doing so, look at your roommate and mutter, "Soon, soon..." ( im totally gonna try that!
6) Collect hundreds of pens and pile them on one side of the room. Keep one pencil on the other side of the room. Laugh at the pencil.
5) Tell your roommate, "I've got an important message for you." Then pretend to faint. When you recover, say you can't remember what the message was. Later on, say, "Oh, yeah, I remember!" Pretend to faint again. Keep this up for several weeks.
4) While your roommate is out, glue your shoes to the ceiling. When your roommate walks in, sit on the floor, hold your head, and moan.
3) Make a sandwich. Don't eat it, leave it on the floor. Ignore the sandwich. Wait until your roommate gets rid of it, and then say, "Hey, where the heck is my sandwich?" Complain loudly that you are hungry.
2) Every time your roommate walks in yell, "Hooray! You're back!" as loud as you can and dance around the room for five minutes. Afterwards, keep looking at your watch and saying, "Shouldn't you be going somewhere?"
1) Talk back to your Rice Krispies. All of a sudden, act offended, throw the bowl on the floor and kick it. Refuse to clean it up, explaining, "No, I want to watch them suffer."
To Every Guy:
To every guy that's said, "Sex CAN wait"
...This one bulletin is for you...
Not many girls appreciate nice guys anymore... And because of this, there are not many left out there... I guarantee 90 percent of the men on your page, will not repost this cuz they care more about their image If you are a nice guy repost this with "We're a Dying Breed " If you are a girl that thinks every guy should treat a girl this way repost this with: "To Every Guy..."