zanyfire
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Joined 04-17-12, id: 3926792, Profile Updated: 05-31-12
Author has written 2 stories for Alex Rider, Maximum Ride, and Uglies.

About Me-

1) I'm Jewish. And I'm not greedy. (if you don't know what the hell I'm talking about, scroll down)
2) Some people might think I'm crazy when I say this, but I'm actually friends with a NICE Muslim. Not the terrorist type. Those guys are bitches...
3) I might be a little bit crazy... If you haven't already noticed.
4) I'm also Italian. PASTA RULES!!!!
5) I'm friends with Josie (josiechambers3). GO CHECK HER OUT! Please... I think she's putting something up soon...
6) Here's a piece of info, Josie nevers goes ANYWHERE without her writing folder. And she starts writing in the middle of class... (not a good thing)
7) Josie also has an account on fanfiction.com (josiechambers3). She has something up right now. It's really good, I think...
8) I have an account on fanfiction.com (zanyfire).
9) Josie and I are writing a joint thing here on FictionPress.com (maximumride3). It's called 'Finding Your Way'. Please check it out.
10) I love art, karate (if you don't know what that is, LOOK IT UP!!!), singing, wacking my friends, swearing (actually, that's a hobby...), etc.
11) And if you call me crazy, I don't care. I have friends that are literally MENTAL HOSPITAL crazy. I'll deal with it.
12) You can go ahead and be rude, but you will be sorry that you even tried to piss me off. And I'll probably tell you to piss off... just don't get on my bad side.

The bold ones apply to me.

I SOMETIMES HATE MY LIFE, so I MUST want to comitt suicide.
I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my
wrists.
I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.
I'm BLOND, so I MUST be a
ditz.
I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.
I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat
cat.
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.
I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm
GAY, so I MUST have AIDS
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore...
I'm a
DANCER, So I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I
MUST be a slut.
I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a
conceited snob.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.
I'm a
WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of
girlfriend.

I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling
cigars.
I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.
I FELL IN LOVE WITH A
MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.
I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST
be an irresponsible slut.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my
sandals.
I'm ITALIAN, so I must have love pasta.
I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must
be a TERRORIST!!
I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.
I HAVE STRAIGHT
A'S, so I MUST have no social life.
I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be
looking for attention.
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for
attention.

I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.
I'm
a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY
FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE
FRIENDS, so I MUST be a player.
I have Big BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.
I'm
COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a
poser
I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and thats how Russians roll..
I'm a
LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a
terrorist.
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm a GAY
RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell.

I'm a CHRISTAN, so I MUST
think gay people should go to hell.
I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my
beliefs down your throat.
I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world.
I
don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals.
I'm REPUBLICAN,
so I MUST not care about poor people.
I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in
being responsible.
I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST
be white trash.
I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be
crazy.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.
I'm IRISH,
so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.
I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient
store.
I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a
savage.
I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.
I hang out with GAYS, so I
must be GAY TOO.
I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.
I'm PUERTO
RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited.
I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in
MS 13.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be
lazy.
I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas.
I'm a STONER so I MUST be going
in the wrong direction.
I'm a VIRGIN so I MUST be prude.
I'm STRAIGHT EDGE
so I must be violent.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.. or
crazy.
I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.
I'm a GIRL who
actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.
I'm SINGLE so I MUST be a
loner.
I'm a SKATER so I must do weed and steal stuff.
I'm a PUNK so I
must only wear black and date only other punks.
I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD
that does HOMEWORK 24/7.
I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate
homosexuals.
I'm MIXED so I must be screwed up.
I'm MUSLIM so I
MUST be a terrorist.
I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.
I'm BLACK so I MUST
believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA.
I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect.
I'm WHITE and
have black friends so I MUST think I'm black.
I'm GOTH so I MUST worship
the devil.
I'm white so I MUST carry white out for emo cuts.
I'm
HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.
I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a
loser.

I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.
I'm
PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.
I'm
on a DANCE team, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I'm YOUNG, so
I MUST be naive.

I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.
I'm MEXICAN,
so I MUST have hopped the border.
I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a
spoiled brat.
I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon.
I'm BI, so I MUST
think every person I see is hot.
I'm an ASIAN GUY, so I MUST have a small
penis.
I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay.
I'm a PREP, so I MUST be
rich.
I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.
I wear
tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.
I couldn't hurt a FLY, So I MUST
be a pussy.
I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone.
I hang
out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too.
I have
ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.
I don't like
to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.

I have a DIFFERENT
sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.

I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an
over controlling bitch.

My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no
hygiene skills.
I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a
bitch.

I'm a NUDIST, so I MUST want everyone to see my boobs.
I read
Comics, so I MUST be a loser.
I hang out with a FORMER PROSTITUTE.. So I MUST
be a whore myself.
I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse.
I’m a GOTH, so I
MUST be a Satanist,
I’m a CROSS DRESSER, so I must be homosexual.
I
draw ANIME so I MUST be a freak.
I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy,
obsessed stalker.

I WATCH PORN so I MUST be perverted.
I'm an ONLY
CHILD so I MUST be spoiled.
I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak.
I am
AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.
I'm WELSH so I MUST
love sheep,
I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo, well, depends on
definition..

I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent.
I'm a
GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend.
I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love
hockey and beavers.
I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare.
I'm a FEMINIST,
so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the
earth.
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.
I WEAR A BIG
SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.
I like BLOOD, so I must be a
VAMPIRE.
I'm an ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and
is A MURDERER!
I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh
accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth.
I’m WHITE, so I MUST be
responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and
future.

I don't like YAOI or YURI, so I must be a HOMOPHOBE.
I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a
loser.

I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging
hippy.
I have a FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-sue.
I
CHAT, I MUST be having cyber sex.

I'm PAGAN so I MUST sacrifice babies
and drink the blood of virgins
I'm PAGAN so I MUST worship Satan
I'm
CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion
I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall
blond blue-eyed lesbian.
I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to get with every
single girl that I see.
I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE.
I
like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.

I have my OWN spiritual ideology;
therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED
I am WICCAN, so I MUST be a
SATANIST.
I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a
TERRORIST.

I love YAOI, so I MUST be GAY.
I'm a PERSON, so I MUST
be LABELED.

I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast
I like GAMES, ANIME
and COMICS, so I MUST be childish.
I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be
WHITE.
I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard.
I'm
GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean.

I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid.
I'm
Australian so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroos.
I go to
RENFAIRES, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up with the times
I’m
GAY so I’m after EVERY straight guy around.
I don’t want a BOYFRIEND so I
MUST be Lesbian
I CURSE a lot, so I MUST be a rebel.
I'm NOT
CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting.
I love marching band, so I MUST be
a friendless freak.
I wear GLASSES, so I MUST be a nerd.
I'm a
TOMBOY, so I MUST be lesbian.
I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no
life.
I'm a TOMBOY, so I MUST have no female friends.
I don't
have many FRIENDS, so I MUST be unpopular.
I am AGRESSIVE, so I MUST be a
bitch.
I'm a GIRL, so I MUST love pink.
I write Fanfics, so I MUST be a freak.
I wear BRACES, so
I MUST be a nerd.
I like WEBKINZ, so I MUST be childish.
I like the JONAS
BROTHERS, so I MUST have bad taste in music.
I like DISNEY singers and
shows, so I MUST be childish.
I am in love with someone who doesn't know
that, so I must be a fat, ugly, cowardly bitch

Here's one of my daily conversations with my friends-

Me- "I'm an idiot!" (looking at friend 1) "And don't you dare agree with that statement!"
Friend 1- "I agree!"
Me- "Sigh. How do I get along with you people?!"
Friend 2- "Becuase we're all crazy!"
Everyone laughs and agrees.

Here's what I suggest YOU DO NOT LET YOUR ASSHOLE OF A FRIEND say to someone who is cute and just asked you out-
"Fuck you, you bitch."
"Get out of here, you bitch!"

I know from personal experience.

-Zayleigh

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How To Live reviews
Five teens. Changed forever.
Crossover - Maximum Ride & Uglies - Rated: T - English - Suspense/Supernatural - Chapters: 3 - Words: 804 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 5/8/2012 - Published: 5/6/2012
Alexa Rider reviews
Alex Rider's grandaughter's story.
Alex Rider - Rated: T - English - Crime - Chapters: 2 - Words: 573 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 5/6/2012 - Published: 5/5/2012