Author has written 3 stories for Harry Potter.LAST UPDATED: October 10th, 2003.
Life is crazy! I'm getting into the swing of my new school, and it's all going well so far. Just lots of homework, and chronic sleep deprivation! Love all you guys - sorry it was so long between updates! O/K 4eva!*
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On to stuff about me . . .
Btw, I'm not actually obsessed with orange, it just sort of happened that way. At least that's the story I'm sticking to.
I'm enjoying my summer holidays - I can't believe they're already over half over. I've been really busy. This September I start at a new school, which is making me rather nervous . . .
I'm also a proud Canadian. For all those Canadians out there, and even you others, here is something that has been posted on an international tourism website. A friend received it in an email from her friend, and she in turn passed it on to me. I've removed the nationalities of the question-askers for the fear of offending anyone . . . . How Canadian.
Q: I have never seen it warm on Canadian TV, so how do plants grow?
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.
Q: Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the street?
A: Depends how much you've been drinking.
Q: I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto - can I follow the railroad tracks?
A: Sure, it's only four thousand miles - take lots of water . . .
Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Canada? Can you send me a list of them in Toronto, Vancouver, Edmonton, and Halifax?
A: What did your last slave die of?
Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Canada?
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle-shaped continent south of Europe. Ca-na-da is that big country to your North . . . oh, forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Calgary. Come naked.
(OK, so maybe you can tell where that question came from . . .)
Q: Which direction is North in Canada?
A: Face south and then turn 90 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send you the rest of the directions.
Q: Do you have perfume in Canada?
A: No, WE don't stink.
Q: Please send a list of all doctors in Canada who can dispense rattlesnake serum.
A: All Canadian rattlesnakes are perfectly harmless and can be safely handled and make good pets.
Q: Are there supermarkets in Toronto and is milk available all year round?
A:No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter-gatherers. Milk is illegal.
Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Canada, but I forget its name. It's a kind of big horse with horns.
A: It's called a Moose. They are tall and very violent, eating the brains of anyone walking close to them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go walking.
Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule?
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is . . . oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys' Choir plays every Tuesday night in Vancouver and in Calgary, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.
. . . well, hope you got some laughs outta that. Oh, and I hope no Americans are offended (hehe).
If anyone is actually reading this who knows how to make Italics and Bold show up (I use Microsoft Word), please email me! (or review)
If you like my stories or hate my stories or would like to critique my stories plz review, or send me an email at firstname.lastname@example.org (as seen above...). Yes, I know that my addy is freakishly long . . .
OK ppl, gotta go.
P.S. O/K forever! (Oh, and H/G, R/Hr, F/Ange, and G/Lish)