avalesa uharets
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Joined 04-20-12, id: 3937138, Profile Updated: 07-28-13
Author has written 1 story for Twilight.

My Website if you want to read more stories. I update there more, because i can reach my google account faster.

https://sites.google.com/site/fanfictionforfriends/home

1) Have you ever been asked out? Yes, Several times

2) Where did you get your default picture? My brothers Computer

3) Your current relationship status? Engaged (that may be changing to single)

5) Does your crush like you back? Yes (she let me kiss Her)

6) What is your current mood? Ish (means everything and nothing)

7) What color of underwear are you wearing? Not saying

8) What color shirt are you wearing? Most of the time black blue or green

9) Missing something? my sanity, my mom ( i was adopted), my homework

10) If you could go back in time and change something, what would you change? The Lake Scene

11) If you must be an animal for one day, what would you be? white tigers (love them)

12) Ever had a near death experience? yes Twice

13) Something you do a lot? read, write, work, write, talk, read, did i mention reading and writing

14) The song stuck in your head? Gold By Brit Nichole

15) Who did you copy and paste this from? DevoraDeath

16) Name someone with the same birthday as YOU? Selena Gomez

17) When was the last time you cried? this morning

18) Have you ever sung in front of a large audience? yeah (KEnny Rogers' Buy me A rose on national television when i was 4)

19) If you could have one super power what would it be? mind reading (like edward)

20) What's the first thing you notice about the opposite sex? eyes

21) What do you usually order from Starbucks? Whatsstarbucks? (no Seriously. I live in the middle of no where in ND)

22) What's your biggest secret? I am A... yeah right like i will put that down.

23) Favorite color? blue

24) Do you still watch kiddie shows? yes (duh)

25) What are you? female, reader, teenager

26) Do you speak any other language? yes Spanish, Spiraldom(my made up language), german, japanese, portugese, a couple others

27) What's your favorite smell? chocolate ( i am allergic to it)

28) Describe your life in one word what would it be? notorious

29) Have you ever kissed in the rain? no

30) What are you thinking about right now? my dad, school my pilot exam

31) What should you be doing? homework

32) Who was the last person that made you upset/angry? my Fiancee

33) Do you like working in the yard? Yes

34) If you could have any last name in the world, what would you want? Zoie

35) Do you act differently around the person you like? yes

36) What is your natural hair color? brown (i think)

37) Who was the last person to make you cry? my Fiancee

Kissing is healthy.bananas are good for period pain. it's good to cry.chicken soup actually makes you feel better. 94 percent of boys would love it if you sent them flowers. lying is actually unhealthy. you really only need to apply mascara to your top lashes. it's actually true, boys DO insult you when they like you. 89 percent of guys want YOU to make the first move. it's impossible to apply mascara with your mouth closed. chocolate will make you feel better.most boys think it's cute when you say the wrong thing. a good friend never judges. a good foundation will hide all hickeys... not that you have any. boys aren't worth your tears. we all love surprises. Now... make a wish.Wish REALLY hard!! WISH WISH WISH WISH Your wish has just been recieved. Copy and Paste this into your profile in the next 15 minutes and...Your wish will be granted! So wish on you happy go lucky wishers you :P

Mom, I'm feeling so much pain right now But I've already cried to much Now the only way to let it out Is by telling you what has me in its klutch

It rips my heart to say this Knowing that it could hurt you too But if this is the only way to speak to you Then I guess this is something that I have to do

Mom, I know what and who I am But unfortunately so do you What hurts the most is not that you know But the fact that you don't aprove

It cuts me deeper everytime when You voice your opinions of me outloud I'd go to my room and scream and cry Cause all I want to do is make you proud

Now, yes, I've made mistakes in my life But, you know what Mom, so have you I've learned from mine over time Maybe you should start learning too

I always see you watching TV shows With gay people on the main cast You look at me with such disgust But at the TV, Mom, you just laugh

Whenever I ask you why that is You just look at me and stare You'd tell me its because I'm your daughter And you'd tell me its because you care

Well, Mom, is that not hypocrisy To like people that are gays But you spit in disgust when you learn That your daughter happens to go both ways

Mom, I don't want to hate you And I don't want you to hate me But this void of pain is increasing And its practically consuming me

All my friends accept me and I was hoping you would too You tell me I'd regret telling them But the only person I regret telling is you

Please explain to me why that is I thought I could tell you anything But I can't and that gets me so pissed And makes my whole damn body sting

Now, Mom, please - you must know That I still love you with all my heart Even though its crushed and breaking Cause our relationship is falling apart

Please, Mom, hold on to me I'm your daughter through and through Even though what I am Makes your whole damn body stew

There's so much more I need to say But, I don't want to - you know why Cause unlike some, I am a good person And I don't want to make your pain too high

There's just one more thing you should know But this is simply who I am And I'm begging you to stop critisizing So that you can learn to understand

By: Addison Rae (I Have Cullenism)

To everyone that needs support or has gone through this as well, feel free to post this on your profile along with the "By: Addison Rae (I Have Cullenism)". Let's do our part to stop homophobia within the family!

Re-post this if you believe homophobia is wrong. Please do your part to end it!! =D

For people that hate stereotypes: If you think people should just shut up and stop, put this on your profile. (BOLD the ones you are and add a stereotype to the list.)

I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.
I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.
I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz
I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.
I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.
I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.
I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell.
I'm a CHRISTAN, so I MUST think gay people should go to hell.
I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.
I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world.
I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals.
I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.
I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.
I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.
I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.
I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.
I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.
I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore.
I'm a DANCER, So I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I MUST be a slut.
I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.
I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.
I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.
I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.
I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.
I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals.
I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a "big one".
I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!
I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.
I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.
I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.
I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.
I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be a player.
I have Big BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.
I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.
I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and thats how Russians roll.
I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.
I hang out with GAYS, so I must be GAY TOO.
I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.
I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited.
I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy.
I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas.
Im a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction.
Im a VIRGIN so I MUST be prude.
Im STRAIGHT EDGE so I must be violent.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.
I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid. (im white and i love it!!)
I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.
I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.
I'm a SKATER so I must do weed and steal stuff
I'm a PUNK so I must only wear black and date only other punks
I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7
I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals.
I'm MIXED so I must be screwed up.
I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.
I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.
I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA
I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect
I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black
I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil.
I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.
I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.
I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.
I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.
I'm on a DANCE team, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.
I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.
I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.
I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon
I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot.
I'm an ASIAN GUY, so I MUST have a small penis.
I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay.
I'm a PREP, so I MUST be rich.
I don't like the SUN so I MUST be an albino.
I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.
I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.
I couldn't hurt a FLY, So I MUST be a pussy.
I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone.
I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too.
I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't
I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.
I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.
I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.
My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.
I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch.
I'm a NUDIST, so I MUST want everyone to see my boobs.
I read Comics, so I MUST be a loser
I hang out with a FORMER PROSTITUTE so I MUST be a whore myself.
I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse
I’m a CROSSDRESSER, so I must be homosexual.
I draw ANIME so I MUST be a freak.
I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.
I WATCH PORN so I MUST be perverted
I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled.
I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak
I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant
I'm WELSH so I MUST love sheep
I'm SCOTTISH so I MUST have ginger hair and wear a skirt (It's actually called a kilt)
I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo
I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend.
I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers.
I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare.
I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth.
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE
. I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.
I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE
I'm an ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and is A MURDERER!
I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth.
I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future
I don't like YAOI or YURI, so I must be a HOMOPHOBE
I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser
I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy
I have a FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-sue.
I CHAT, I MUST be having cyber sex.
I'm PAGAN so I MUST sacrifice babies and drink the blood of virgins I'm PAGAN so I MUST worship Satan
I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion
I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blond blue-eyed lesbian.
I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see.
I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE.
I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.
I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED.
I am WICCAN, so I MUST be a SATANIST.
I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.
I am a WITCH, so I MUST be an OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick.
I love YAOI and YURI, so I MUST be GAY.
I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED
I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast
I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish
I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE.
I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard.
I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid.
I'm Australian so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroo’s
I go to RENFAIRES, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up with the times
I’m GAY so I’m after EVERY straight guy around.
I don’t want a BOYFRIEND so I MUST be Lesbian.
I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting.
I love marching band, so I MUST be a friendless freak
I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life.
I am friends with a CUTTER, so I MUST be a CUTTER too.
I cry easily, so I MUST be a wimp.
I can't help pointing out mistakes so I MUST be an over-controlling perfectionist
I'm a PERFECTIONIST so I MUST check everything ten times, then burst into tears at one mistake
I DON’T LIKE to talk about my personal life so I MUST be having problems
I like FIRE so I must be an arsonist.
My parents/parent was or are into drinking and doing drugs, so I must drink and do drugs too.
I'm not a poser or a goth or a skater or emo or a jock, so I must be a prep.
My favorite color is pink so I MUST be a prep who worships BARBI.
I'm SMART so I MUST not have friends
I'm a LESBIAN so i Must burn in hell I grew up with two homosexual parents, so I MUST be a homosexual too
I'm OBSESSED with fanfiction so I MUST have no life
I have been in lots of school fights, so I MUST be easily angered
I DON'T WEAR MAKEUP, so I MUST have no self esteem
I wear BAGGY CLOTHES so I MUST think I'm fat
I wear FLANNEL SHIRTS so I MUST be a lesbian
I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to dive between every girls legs and fuck her senseless

Check this out...I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas thought slpeling was ipmorantt! tahts so cool! If you could read that put it in your profile

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Never ask for food.

REAL FRIENDS: Are the reason you have no food.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Call your parents Mr/Mrs.

REAL FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD/MOM.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Bail you out of jail and tell you what you did was wrong.

REAL FRIENDS: Will sit next to you saying “Damn … we fucked up … but that shit was fun!” haha that happened once before...

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Never seen you cry.

REAL FRIENDS: Cry with you.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back.

REAL FRIENDS: Keep your shit so long they forget its yours. tell me about it...

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Know a few things about you.

REAL FRIENDS: Can write a book about you, with direct quotes from you.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.

REAL FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will knock on your front door.

REAL FRIENDS: Walk right in and say “I’M HOME!”

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Are for awhile.

REAL FRIENDS: Are for life.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will take your drink away when they think you’ve had enough.

REAL FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place and say “Bitch, drink the rest of that, you know we don’t waste.”

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will talk shit about the person who talks shit about you.

REAL FRIENDS: Will knock them the fuck out!

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Say they are too busy to listen to your problems, but when it comes to them they expect you to have all the time in the world.

REAL FRIENDS: Not only kick everything out of their schedual to listen to whats wrong, but help come up with vindictive plans to make you feel a whole lot better!

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Say sorry when you want to talk to them at odd hours of the night, or even just hang out at odd hours.

REAL FRIENDS: Come right over and hang out with you, until you either fall asleep, or kick them out.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will ignore this

REAL FRIENDS: Will repost it

If you are weird, insane, crazy, odd, not-normal, a freak of nature, psychotic, random or anything similar, copy this into your profile.

If at one time you misspelled or forgot how to spell a word less than four letters, copy and paste this onto your profile.

93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile and add your name to the list: Sunlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Moonlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Evil Genius of the COCA, Invader Miley Phantom, dAnnYsGiRl777, BloodySalvation, Lady Lost-A-Lot, bellabookworm9, Bella Masen Cullen, Vampire Scooby, blissfulmeme, AkatsukiReverie,EmoLollipop, Deidara-Kun-Fangirl, KillerLiger3000, moonlit fang, chibi kyuu-chan, Ragnorokrising, Nanbi shi, Team Alice-Bella, avalea uharets,

92 Percent of American teens would die if Abercrombie and Fitch told them it was uncool to breathe. Copy this in your profile if you would be the 8 percent that would be laughing your head off.

If your random copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vice versa copy this into your profile.

If you have ever fallen up the stairs, put this in your profile. (many times...)

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile. (in the middle of class to...)

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile

If you know someone who should get run over by a bus, post this in your profile. many people actually...

If you've ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, than weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile!!(wooo!!)

If you are reading this then step 1 of my EVIL PLAN is complete.

Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know when someone will come along, open you up, and eat your insides. (dont ask)

If you're hyper, like being hyper, and are hyper all the time, COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE!

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile.

If you are addicted to ninjas and would like to become one, post this onto your profile.

If you are weird, insane, crazy, odd, not-normal, a freak of nature, psychotic, random or anything similiar, copy this into your profile.

Before you criticize some one, walk a mile in their shoes. That way you’re a mile away and you still have their shoes.

If people were meant to pop out of bed we would all sleep in toasters.

Voldemort, Voldemort, oo Voldy, Voldy, Voldy, Voldemort.

I am on a quest to the deepest, darkest corners of my room in search of what some would call "a floor". A long and difficult task awaits me. Wish me luck, my friends, for I may not return alive.

If Fanfiction to you is what MySpace is to other people, copy this into your profile.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile, and add your name to this list: danyan, Zutara Lover, Archangel's Requiem, Lady Sakura of the Fated,Soul Stance, Raven Wolfmoon, iheartmwpp, dracosnumber1girl, SMARTALIENQT, Luthien Saralonde, Xiaahandrus, Starfire-chan521, kittyore9, Emziiee-xxx, Team Alice-Bella,shortie24, avalesa uharets,

If you daydream 24/7, copy this to your profile.

Forgive your enemies. It messes up their heads. it really does I SWEAR!! its funny as hell sometimes to...

If you're obsessed with a character so much that you have dreams about meeting or fighting them, copy and paste this.

If you've ever pushed off a school project till the week before it was due and still got a good grade on it, copy and paste this into your profile. (woooo!!)

U know you live in 2009 when...

1. You accidentally enter your password into the microwave.

2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.

3. The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is that they don't have AIM/LiveJournal/MySpace/Live Messenger/Facebook.

4. You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the button on the TV.

6. Your evening activity is sitting at the computer.

7. You read this list, and keep nodding and smiling.

8. You think about how stupid you are for reading this.

9. You were too busy to notice number five.

10. You actually look to check if there was a number five.

11. And now you're laughing at your stupidity.

12. Repost if you fell for it. You know you did

You cry I cry

You laugh I laugh

You jump out the window I look down and laugh some more

My name is Tiffany

I am three,

My eyes are swollen

I cannot see,

I must be stupid

I must be bad,

What else could have made

My daddy so mad?

I wish I were better

I wish I weren’t ugly,

Then maybe my mommy

Would still want to hug me.

I can’t do a wrong

I can’t speak at all

Or else im locked up

All day long.

When im awake im all alone

The house is dark

My folks aren’t home

When my mommy does come home

I'll try and be nice,

So maybe ill just get

One whipping tonight.

I just heard a car

My daddy is back

From Charlie’s bar.

I hear him curse

My name is called

I press myself

Against the wall

I try to hide

From his evil eyes

I’m so afraid now

I’m starting to cry

He finds me weeping

Calls me ugly words,

He says its my fault

He suffers at work.

He slaps and hits me

And yells at me more,

I finally get free

And run to the door

He’s already locked it

And i start to bawl,

He takes me and throws me

Against the hard wall

I fall to the floor

With my bones nearly broken,

And my daddy continues

With more bad words spoken,

"I’m sorry!", I scream

But its now much to late

His face has been twisted

Into a unimaginable shape

The hurt and the pain

Again and again

O please God, have mercy!

O please let it end!

And he finally stops

And heads for the door

While i lay there motionless

Brawled on the floor

My name is tiffany

I am three,

Tonight my daddy

Murdered me

And you can help

Sickens me top the soul,

And if you read this

and don’t pass it on

I pray for your forgiveness

Because you would have to be

One heartless person

To not be effected

By this Poem

And because you are effected,

Do something about it!

So all i ask you to do

Is pass this on!

IF YOU ARE AGAINST CHILD ABUSE

Things To Do In Wal-Mart When Your Bored

1) As the cashier runs your purchase over the scanner, look mesmerized and say, "Wow, magic!"

2) Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.

3) Attempt to fit others into very large gym bags.

4) Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift-wrap.

5) Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the spray air fresheners.

6) Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from Mission Impossible.

7) Drag a lounge chair over to the magazines and relax.

8) Go to the food court, buy a drink, and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it.

9) Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run around saying, "I'm Batman. Come Robin, to the Batcave."

10) Follow people through the aisles, staying about 5 feet behind them. Do this until they leave the store.

11) Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.

12) Go into a fitting room, shut the door and wait a while and then yell loudly "There's no toilet paper in here!"

13) Go to the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

14) Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME! PICK ME!"

15) Hold indoor shopping cart races.

16) In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.

17) Leave Cheerios in lawn and garden, pillows in the pet section, etc.

18) Look right into the security camera, use it as a mirror and pick your nose.

19) Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.

20) Make up nonsense products and ask employees if there are any in stock. (i.e.: Shnerples)

21) Move "Caution: Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas.

21) Pay off layaways 50 cents at a time.

22) Play soccer with a group of friends, using the entire store as your playing field.

23) Play with the automatic doors.

24) Play with the calculators so that they all spell "hello" upside down.

25) Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles.

26) "Re-alphabetize" the CD's.

27) Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit.

28) Relax in the patio furniture until you get kicked out.

29) Ride a display bicycle through the store; claim you are taking it for a test drive.

30) Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.

31) Say things like, "Would you be so kind as to direct me to your Twinkies."

32) Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten-minute intervals throughout the day.

33) Set up a "Valet Parking" sign in front of the store.

34) Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they bring pillows from the bed department.

35) Start playing Calvinball; see how many people you can get to join.

36) Take bets on the battle from above.

37) Take off your shoes and tell them you want to return it and when they say you didn't buy it there say, "Hm... I thought the customer was always right!"

38) Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations.

39) Take up an entire aisle in toys by setting up a full-scale battle with G.I. Joe vs. X-men.

40) Test the brushes and combs in cosmetics.

41) Test the fishing rods and see what you can catch from other aisles.

42) TP as much of the store as possible before they stop you.

43) Try to hold up customers with the toy guns. See how much you can make.

44) Tune all the radios to polka stations; then turn them off and turn the volume up to full blast.

45) Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in Housewares and see what happens.

46) Walk up to complete strangers and say, "Hi. I haven't seen you in so long." etc. See if they play along.

47) When 2 or 3 people are walking ahead of you, run between them yelling "Red Rover."

48) When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

49) When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!"

50) When someone steps away from his or her cart to look at something, quickly make off with it without saying a word.

51) When there are people behind you, walk really slowly, especially in thin aisles.

52) While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are.

53) While someonewalking through the clothing department, ask yourself loud enough for all to hear, "Who buys this crap anyway?!"

It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 to smile and only 4 to reach out and slap someone

There is no "I" in TEAM, but there is an "I" in PIE, and thereis an "I" in MEATPIE, and MEAT is an anogram of TEAM...

Copy and Pastes :D

If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile

If you or your best friend is insane, copy this into your profile

If you ever tripped over your own feet, copy this into your profile.

If you don't have a problem with homosexuals, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have inside jokes...with yourself...copy and paste this into your profile.

If you were insane, crazy, and/or random, before being crazy, insane, and/or random was cool, copy and paste this into your profile.

"I'm bringing sexy back..." Copy and paste this into your profile if you never even knew sexy was gone.

If you have ever run into a wall, door, window, or people, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you want to fire and/or sue those bloody weather men for giving you false hope so often (for snow days or something)...Copy and paste this to your profile, so we know who to call when we lead an angry mob >D

98 of teenagers do drugs, have sex, and drink alcohol...put this in your profile if you like chocolate chip cookies.

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile.

If you are addicted to vampires and would like to become one, post this onto your profile.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile.

93 percent of teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile.

If you've ever read past two in the morning, copy this into your profile

If you have a true friend, copy this into your profile

If you read peoples profiles, looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy this into your profile

I'm bored...If you're bored then paste this in your profile and let the world know you have nothing to do.

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile.

If you are insane, enjoying every second, and proud of it, copy this and paste it into your profile.

FAN FICTION: MY ANTI-DRUG. because, who has time for drugs if you're reading and plotting and writing and checking reviews? If this is true for you, copy and paste this to your profile. (TO LATE!! lol)

If you have WAY too much time on your hands and you're on fanfiction.net with that time, copy and paste this in your profile.

Recent studies show that 92 percent of teenagers have moved on to rap. If you're part of the 8 percent that has stayed loyal to either rock or metal, put this in your profile. (alternative rock counts right? lol)

Too many people are on crack. If you're not, add this to your profile.

If you have ever fallen up the stairs, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever tripped over air, copy this into your profile.

Paste this in your profile if you've ever fallen off a chair backwards.

If you're obsessed with Twilight, copy and paste this list into your profile

If you've ever had a random spazz out moment in the middle of class or a quiet room, put this in your profile.

If you are so obsessed with Twilight that it is NOT even funny anymore, copy this into your profile.

If you still laugh re-reading Maximum Ride, copy and paste this onto your profile

If you want to see Maximum Ride (the movie) on the first day it comes out, copy and paste this onto your profile.

I am perfectly imperfect. :D

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. "If you two are going to kill each other, at least do it outside. I just finished cleaning!"

2. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL. "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week."

3. My mother taught me LOGIC. "Because I said so, that's why."

4. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC. "If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you aren't coming to the store with me!"

5. My mother taught me FORESIGHT. "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident.

6. My mother taught IRONY. "Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about."

7. My mother taught me about THE SCIENCE OF OSMOSIS. "Shut your mouth and eat your supper!"

8. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM. "Will you look at the dirt on the back of your neck!"

9. My mother taught me about STAMINA. "You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

10. My mother taught me about WEATHER. "Your room looks like a tornado went through there!"

11. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY. "If I've told you once, I've told you a million times, don't exaggerate!"

12. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE. "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out of it too!"

13. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION. "Stop acting like your father!"

14. My mother taught me about ENVY. "There are millions of less fortunate children around the world who don't have wonderful parents like you do!"

15. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION. "Just wait until we get home!"

16. My mother taught me about RECEIVING. "You're going to get it when we get home!"

17. My mother taught me about MEDICAL SCIENCE. "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they're going to freeze that way!"

18. My mother taught me about ESP. "Put your sweater on! Don't you think I know when you're cold?"

19. My mother taught me HUMOR. "When the lawnmower cuts off you toes, don't come crying to me!"

20. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT. "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

21. My mother taught me GENETICS. "You're just like your father."

22. My mother taught me about MY ROOTS. "Shut that door! Do you think you were raised in a barn?"

23. My mother taught me WISDOM. "When you're my age, you'll understand."

24. My mother taught me JUSTICE. "One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

Annoying things to do in an elevator

1) CRACK open your briefcase or handbag, peer Inside and ask "Got enough air in there?"

2) STAND silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.

3) WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.

4) GREET everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.

5) MEOW occasionally.

6) STARE At another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM" - and back away slowly

7) SAY -DING at each floor.

8) SAY "I wonder what all these do?" And push all the red buttons.

9) MAKE explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

10) STARE, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on."

11) WHEN the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"

12) TRY to make personal calls on the emergency phone.

13) DRAW a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space."

14) WHEN there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.

15) PUSH the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.

16) ASK if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.

17) HOLD the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?"

18) DROP a pen and wail until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!"

- I'm gonna do that one of these days...

19) BRING a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.

20) PRETEND you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the Passengers.

21) SWAT at flies that don't exist.

22) CALL out "Group hug" then enforce it.

YOU KNOW YOU'RE AN AUTHOR IF...

You talk to yourself a lot.

You talk to yourself about talking to yourself.

When you talk to yourself you often talk to yourself like you're talking to someone else. (e.g. 'Have you ever noticed that deliver could mean someones liver?')

After uttering a profound piece of wisdom like that above, you stare at the cookie in your hand with awe and say, "Wow,this stuff is great for sugar highs...'

You live off of sugar and caffeine

You'll check your e-mail every day of the week and then disappear off the face of the earth.

You're e-mails tend to be pages long and incredibly random.

When replying to an e-mail, you'll never actually address the point of it.

You tend to collect Bic Stics off the ground like picking pennies off the ground.

No matter where you are in a room you never have to get up to find a pen/pencil and paper.

The letters on your keyboard are wearing off.

Your friends and family think that you have carpal tunnel syndrome.

People think you have A.D.D.

You think it'd be cool to have A.D.D.

You constantly start talking in third person, present or past tense.

You start thinking about making lists like this and start giggling for no "apparent" reason

Your friends stopped looking at you funny when you laugh for no apparent reason a loooooong time ago.

And FINALLY, the one way to tell if you're a good writer: You failed English 101.

(copy that into you're profile if you fit one or more of the descriptions) -

You're a 90's kid if:

You can sing the rap to "The Fresh Prince Of Bel Air"

You know that "WOAH" comes from Joey from "Blossom" and that "How Rude!" comes from Stephanie from "Full House"

You remember when it was actually worth getting up early on a Saturday to watch cartoons.

You remember reading "Goosebumps"

You made paper scrunchies to predict who you would end up marrying

You took plastic cartoon lunch boxes to school.

You danced to "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls, Females: had a new motto, Males: got a whole lot gay-er. (so tell me what you want, what you really really want.)

You remember the craze, then the banning of slap bracelets and slam books.

You still get the urge to say "NOT" after (almost) every sentence...Not...

You knew all the characters names and their life stories on "Saved By The Bell"

You played and/or collected "Pogs"

You watched the original Care Bears, My Little Pony, and Ninja Turtles

You know the Macarena by heart.

When light up sneakers were cool.

When you rented VHS tapes, not DVDs.

Additional Details

Tree Houses.

Hula Hoops.

Rollerblades.

HELLO...HOT WHEELS!!!!!

Running through the sprinklers.

That "Little Mermaid"

Crying when Mufasa died in the Lion King.

Or what about:

Hey Arnold.

Rugrats.

The Secret World of Alex Mac.

Rocco's Modern Life.

Are You Afraid of the Dark?

Doug.

Magic School Bus.

Aladdin.

Pinky and the Brain (i loved that show)

Sweet valley high.

California dreams.

Decisions were made by going 'eeny-meeny-miney-moe'.

When Ninja Turtles ruled the world.

When Aladdin was new, before the trilogy was complete

If you have ever seen a movie (or show) so many times that you can quote it word for word, And you do so at random moments; copy and paste this in you're profile

If you think Max and Fang should get together now copy and paste this into your profile.

If you relate everything to Maximum Ride, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you still laugh rereading Maximum Ride, copy and paste this onto your profile

If you wish that you could fly so much it hurts, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you absolutely KILLED yourself laughing when gazzy said "'I vill now destroy de Snickurs bahrs!' then copy this to your profile!

If you're absoloutely, uncrontollably in love with Fang, copy this into your profile

If you've ever imagined killing off a fictional character to steal her fictional boyfriend, copy this in your profile

If James Patterson needs to get it all together, copy and paste this into your profile

If you are obsessively, uncontrolably, in love with Fang, post this in your profile

If you love the whole blind, pyro, mutant, baker thing about Iggy, post this in your profile.

If you would kill to have wings, post this in your profile.

If you read Maximum Ride School's Out - Forever in under 5 hours copy this into your profile.

If you read Maximum Ride Saving the World and Other Extreme Sports in under two hours, copy this into your profile. If you read all the Maximum Ride books in under 5 hours, copy this into your profile.

If you have/ wish you had a dog, and wish he could talk like Total, copy this onto your profile.

If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer

If you have the release date of MR3, Saving the World and Other Extreme Sports marked on your calendar, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you are like Max, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you relate everything to Maximum Ride, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you still laugh re-reading Maximum Ride, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you want to see Maximum Ride (the movie) on the first day it comes out, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have an increasingly sophisticated and extensive vocabulary, situate this in your characterization.

If you hate pasting stuff, suck it up and paste this anyway!

If you think rainbows are wonderful, post this in your profile.

If you think Max and Fang should just get over themselves and get together already, copy and paste this into your profile.

If your friends think you’re crazy for reading a book about six flying kids (and their talking dog), and you don’t care, copy and paste this is your profile.

If you are SO obsessed with Maximum Ride that it is not even FUNNY anymore, post this in your profile.

If you are a Maximum Ride Fanatic, put this on your profile.

If you think Fang is a stud, put this on your profile.

If Faxness is one of your obsessions, post this in your profile.

If you are obsessively, uncontrolably, in love with Fang post this in your profile

If you've ever wished you could go into a book and strangle some of the characters for being so incredibly dumb, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you love the whole blind, pyro, mutant, baker thing about Iggy, post this in your profile.

If your view on Maximum Ride is that there are much worse things you could be addicted to, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think the human identification thing when you log in to fan fiction is annoying, copy and past this into your profile.

If you've ever acted like a paranoid fool because you believe that fictional characters exist, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you solemnly swear you are up to no good copy and paste this into your profile

If you have a very wide range of interests, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are obsessively, uncontrolably, in love with Fang, post this in your profile

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

The Rise of a Dark Lord by Little.Miss.Xanda reviews
Dumbledore was sure he had made the right choice. Ten years later Harry shows him just how wrong he was. With little regard for most, Harry makes a name for himself at Hogwarts, and shows everyone that he is far more than just the BWL. In doing that he attracts the attention of the Dark Lord, making Voldemort believe that the Boy-Who-Lived could be far more than an enemy.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 22 - Words: 239,985 - Reviews: 4034 - Favs: 6,757 - Follows: 7,786 - Updated: 4/14 - Published: 6/8/2012 - Harry P., Tom R. Jr.
Secrets and Lies by SexySiri reviews
Summary: In his sixth year Harry Potter discovers the truth about Albus Dumbledore, he also discovers that instead of being Harry Potter he is Harry Malfoy Snape. WARNINGS: mentions of rape, Swearing, Slash, depression, self harm, smoking, drugs, Mpreg, Pure angst.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Family - Chapters: 47 - Words: 100,208 - Reviews: 463 - Favs: 506 - Follows: 667 - Updated: 1/26 - Published: 9/5/2009 - Harry P., Sirius B., Severus S., Lucius M.
Coping with Hope by Laurenke1 reviews
Returning to Hogwarts after defeating Voldemort how will Harry Potter cope with the normal classes, death eaters who want revenge, private lessons wth Snape and wounded friends when he can barely cope with himself? AU warning. Slash. SSHP
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 25 - Words: 175,612 - Reviews: 764 - Favs: 854 - Follows: 1,253 - Updated: 12/26/2014 - Published: 8/4/2008 - Harry P., Severus S.
Without an End reviews
BellaxAlice. When Edward leaves Bella for Jacob and they take off to New York City, Alice steps in with a promise to change her. The only problem is, Alice saw that Edward would leave and knew that bella would turn to her. Alice is in love with Bella and wants to be more than friends. Will it happen?
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Mystery - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,141 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 6 - Published: 9/3/2013 - Bella, Alice, OC
SexySiri (35)
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