Author has written 2 stories for Harry Potter, and Twilight.
Satan shall fall and like the great Phoenix I shall rise from his ashes. I bring a new kind a hell, a kind no one has ever felt. I will make the strongest of men quiver in fear of me. For I am the ture devil, fallow me and we shall rule. God shall fall under our power, the world as we know it will become hell, fires blazing never settling, always wanting more. God's followers shall fall and we shall rise!
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Bf: No one
Fav Show: Black Butler
Fav Book(s): Vampire Academy Series, Twilight series, Hush Hush series, Darke Academy Series, Dead Beautiful, Bound By Blood, The summoning, Demon Bound, The Assasin's Apprintance (anything by Robin Hobb for that matter), mortal instruments
Fav FF: Dance With The Devil (even though it is no longer here.)
Fav Car: Plymouth Duster Black
Fav Song: Regenerate Me or Travelling Man
Fav Band: Chameleon Circuit
Fav Place: The woods
Ways I Want To Die: Murder or natural
Good Friend VS Best Friend
A good friend helps you up when you fall down.
A best friend laughs and trips you again. Or sits on you back and forces you to stay down...
A good friend will comfort you when he rejects you.
A best friend will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"
A good friend will be there for you when he breaks up with you.
A best friend will prank call him and whisper, "You will die in seven days..."
A good friend helps you up when you fall.
A best friend keeps on walking saying, "Walk much?"
A good friend picks up your papers in the hallways at school when you drop them.
A best friend stands there and laughs while you scramble to pick them up.
A good friend helps you find your prince.
A best friend kidnaps him and brings him to you.
A good friend gives you their umbrella in the rain.
A best friend takes yours and says, "Run bitch, run!"
A good friend will help you move.
A best friend will help you move the bodies.
A good friend will bail you out of jail.
A best friend would be sitting next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!"
A good friend never asks for anything to eat or drink.
A best friend helps themselves and are the reason you have no food.
A good friend calls your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandma, by Grandpa.
A best friend calls your parents DAD and MOM and Grandma, GRAMPS!
A good friend asks you to write down your number.
A best friend has you on speed dial.
A good friend borrows your stuff for a few days and then gives it back.
A best friend loses your junk and tells you, "My bad... here's a tissue."
A good friend only knows a few things about you.
A best friend could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...
A good friend will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
A best friend will kick the whole crowds butt that left you.
A good friend would knock on your front door.
A best friend will walk right in and say "I'm home!"
A good friend will help me find my way when I'm lost.
A best friend will be the one messing with my compass, stealing my map and giving me bad directions.
A good friend will help me learn to drive.
A best friend will help me roll the car into the lake so I can collect insurance.
A good friend will watch my pets when I go away.
A best friend won't let me go away without them.
A good friend will go to a concert with me.
A best friend will kidnap the band with me.
A good friend hides me from the cops.
A best friend is probably the reason they are after me in the first place.
A good friend lets me make an idiot of myself in public.
A best friend is up there with me making an idiot out of herself too.
A good friend is only through school/college.
A best friend is for life.
A good friend will offer you a soda.
A best friend will dump theirs on you.
A good friend has never seen you cry.
A best friend won't tell anyone else that you cried...just laugh about it in private with you when you aren't down anymore.
A good friend will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
A best friend will kick the whole crowds ass that left you.
A good friend tells you she knows how you feel.
A best friend just sits down and cries.
A good friend holds your plate for you.
A best friend spazzes and smacks it out of your hands.
A good friend will pull you back from the pool of insanity.
A best friend will dive in head first with you on the count of 3.
A good friend will tell you that your story is fine.
A best friend will set the plot bunnies after you.
A good friend will let you stay in your comfort zone.
A best friend will forcibly remove you from it.
A good friend will let you choose the music.
A best friend will say, "Deal with it."
A good friend will try to discoursge your plans of world dominations.
A best friend will say, "Pick me. Pick Me. I want to help."
A good friend will have to to be told a forever repeating joke.
A best friend will just glance at you, and burst out laughing.
A good friend laughs at your obsessions.
A best friend is obsessed right there with you.
A good friend will ignore your fears.
A best friend will find and use every opprotunity to scare you.
A good friend will let you sleep in on the weekends.
A best friend will text you repeatedly at 7 am until you answer them.
A good friend will watch my pets when I go away.
A best friend won't let me go away without them.
A good friend will go to a concert with me.
A best friend will kidnap the band with me.
A good friend lets me make an idiot of myself in public.
A best friend is up there with me making an idiot out of herself too.
A good friend will help you back up when you run into walls.
A best friend will laugh at you and yell " You fail epicly."
A good friend will make plans 2-4 days ahead.
A best friend will make plans the day of.
A good friend will ignore you after you snap at them.
A best friend will say " I understand" and then proceed to throw chocolate at you.
A good friend is only through school/college.
A best friend is for life.
FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away when they think you've had enough
BEST FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place and say,"Girl drink the rest of that you know we don't waste
FRIENDS: Will ignore this
BEST FRIENDS: Will re-post this
Mental Hospital Phone Menu
Hello and thank you for calling The State Mental Hospital! Please select from the following options menu:
If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.
If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want, stay on the line so we can trace your call.
If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be forwarded to the Mother Ship.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.
If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, nothing will make you happy anyway.
If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696.
If you are bipolar, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
If you have low self-esteem, please hang up our operators are too busy to talk with you.
If you are menopausal, put the gun down, hang up, turn on the fan, lie down and cry. You won't be crazy forever.
If you are blonde, don't press any buttons, you'll just mess it up
More Funny Phrases:
What happens if you scared to death twice?
People who say any-thing's possible haven't tried closing a revolving door.
An apple a day keeps the doctor away... if well-aimed.
Parents spend the first years of your life telling you to walk and talk, then the rest of it telling you to sit down and shut up.
Paper may beat rock, but cannonball make big hole in paper.
One way to find out if something works: push all the buttons.
One day your prince will come. Mine? He took a wrong turn, got lost, and was to stubborn to ask for directions.
I hear your silence loud and clear.
It's always the last place you look for it... of course it is! Why would you keep looking if you found it?
It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 to smile, and 4 to reach out and slap someone.
I'm not so good at advice; may I interest you in a sarcastic reply?
Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.
The trouble with alarm clocks is that they always go off when you're asleep.
WARNING: Do not follow in my footsteps. I tend to walk into walls and off cliffs.
If silence is golden, if talking silver?
Real girls aren't perfect, and perfect girls aren't real.
I've got ADD and magic markers. Oh, the fun I will have.
Note to self: Normal is just a setting on washing machines.
My favorite word is sarcasm.
Please don't drop cigarette buds on the floor, the cockroaches are getting cancer.
God created boys before girls because every true artist creates a rough draft before a masterpiece.
When every thing's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
You know the speed of light, so what's the speed of dark?
If you want to look young and thin, hang around with old fat people.
If Wal-mart is lowering their prices everyday, how come the store isn't free yet?
Sarcasm doesn't work on a sarcastic person.
Isn't Disney World just a people trap operated by a mouse?
What hair color do they put down on the driver's licenses of a bald man?
I'm not littering... just donating to the Earth.
It's funny--the people who want quiet are always the loudest getting people to shut up.
I'm not laughing at you, I'm laughing with you... you're just not laughing.
I used up all my sick days at work so I'm calling in dead.
Be nice to your kids. They choose your nursing home.
It is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all.
10 Commandments of a Teenager
(why wait that long)
2) Thou shall not do drugs.
(alcohol lasts longer, not to mention being cheaper.)
3) Thou shall not steal from K-Mart.
(Walmart has a bigger selection)
4) Thou shall not be arrested for vandalism.
(destruction has a bigger effect, I can tell you all about this)
5) Thou shall not steal from your parents.
(everyone knows grandma has more money)
6) Thou shall not get into fights.
(Cat fight anyhow...just start them.)
7) Thou shall not skip class.
(just take the whole day off)
8) Thou shall not strip in class.
(Hooters pays more)
9) Thou shall not think about having sex.
(like Nike says, "just do it")
10) Thou shall not help old ladies across the street.
(just leave'm in the middle)
Here's a joke...
there are 3 men who need to get across a lake...
the 1st one prays to God asking for the strength to get across...
he gets big muscles and swims across...
but almost dies 5 times...
the 2nd 1 prays to God for the strength and the tools he needs to get across...
he gets his big muscles and boat and rows across...
but he almost dies 3 times...
the 3rd 1 prays to God, for the strength, tools, and the brains...
he turns into a woman...
walks 4 yards...
and crosses the bridge
I am the girl that people look through when I say something. I am the girl that spends most of her free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal. I am the girl that people call weird, and a freak, either behind my back, or to my face. I am the girl that doesn't spend all her time on MySpace, or talking to a girlfriend on a cellphone or regular phone. I am the girl that stopped to smell the flowers and jump and splash in the rain.
But I am also the girl who knows and is proud of who she is, doesn't care if people call her weird (it's a compliment), who loves reading and writing and doing things no one seems to have the time to do anymore, who loves and is obsessed with Harry Potter (I still love HP but am obsessed with TDI), who can express herself better without words than with words, and knows the importance of the little things.
Copy and Paste this onto your account, and add your name to the list, if you are anything like me, so the girls who are different and unique can know in their weakest times that they are unique, but not alone.
PrettyFanGirl, Truth Be Told 13, creative-writing-girl13, Jasper 1006, DubbleV, iStartRiots, CourtneyXDuncanForver, musicaltheatergirl-dxc4eva, SamanthaFenton, VampireloverD erh713, Et Cadet Satan Stabit
If ya can't beat 'em, join 'em.
Post onto your Profile if you are a true Twilighter/Fanpire
98 percent of teenagers do or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy & paste this in your profile.
If you have your own little world, copy and paste this on your profile.
If you've ever sung a song you hated so much, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever laughed so hard you either choked, hyperventilated, had your sides cramp, or all of the above copy and paste this on your profile
If you're against animal cruelty (horse slaughter, bear bating, dolphin hunting, chimp slavery etc.) then copy this into your profile!
If you avoid teen fads and don't live your life according to others copy and paste this.
If you've ever threatened a computer or video game console, copy and paste this into your profile.
Post this on your profile if you have ever had a major fan girl moment.
Insanity is defined as doing the same things over and over again and expecting different results. If you're insane, copy this onto your profile.
For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you just what you find so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour long sob-fest, then start singing and dancing when your favorite song plays. Crazy is when you do or say a totally random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or start having a thumbwar with yourself . So if you're crazy, copy this onto your profile.
Did you know the average American only reads 3 books a year? If you don't believe that it's even possible to read that little, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you fall for this please put it in your profile, I fell for it too:
You know you live in 2012 when...
1.) You accidentally enter your password on a microwave.
2.) You haven't played solitaire with real cards for years
3.) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is they don't have a screen-name or Facebook
4.) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the buttons on the TV
6.) Your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job.
7.) As you read this list you keep nodding and smiling.
8.) As you read this list you think about sending it to all your friends.
9.) and you were too busy to notice number 5.
10.) You scrolled back up to see if there was a number 5.
11.) Now you are laughing at yourself stupidly.
12.) Put this in your profile if you fell for that, and you know you did.
If you have ever walked into a parked car, copy and paste this into your profile.
92 percent of American teens would die if Abercrombie and Fitch told them it was uncool to breathe. Copy this in your profile if you would be the 8 percent that would be laughing your head off.
If you have ever ran into a door copy this into your profile
If you have ever tripped over your own feet copy and past this into your profile
If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile
If you know someone who should be run over by a bus, copy and paste this into your profile
If you ever pushed a door that said pull or vice versa, copy and paste this into your profile
you or your best friend are insane copy this into your profile
If you have ever said something that has nothing to do with the current situation, copy and paste this into your profile
If you hear voices in your head, copy and paste this into your profile
If you KNOW the voice in your head is real, then copy and paste this into your profile.
If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile
If you have ever tripped over air, copy and paste this into your profile
If you've ever wondered what your like in another dimension, copy and paste this into your profile
People call me crazy, but I'm just random! If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile!
If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.
If you're friends give you odd looks for being yourself, copy this into your profile.
If you love copy thingies, copy this into your profile.
If you have ever fallen up a flight of stairs, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCaffe, (actually I have) Hyperactiveley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Tsuyu Mikazuki (I do all the time!), WeaselChick, Celyna (I fall up the steps to school every time I go up them... sadly...), SSAHC, Sanoon, Phantom-Flames, Leopardheart (just once, but still...), Littlewhisker (I do it all the time so get over it!) Flamestar211, Firestar's Gal, Amberstar-leader of SkyClan (sadly, I just entered middle school and I have a two-story house and so I am falling up the stairs all the time!!),the freak locked in ur closet, Guard of the twilight, Monkeybutt98, Et Cadet Satan Stabit
If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation, copy and paste this into your profile.
Admitting you are weird means you are normal. Saying that you are normal is odd. If you admit that you are weird and like it, copy this onto your profile.
If you know there's more to good random humor than saying "cheese", "cookie", or "pie", copy and paste this into your profile.
If you think you have too many of these "copy and paste this into your profile" thingies, but have no intention of stopping now, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have a very wide range of interests, copy and paste this into your profile.
If your day isn't complete until you've terrified a complete stranger, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have a true friend, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you ever forgot your name, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you've read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile.
Too many kids and teenagers have smoked or tried marijuana. If you haven't, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, copy this into your profile.
If you or your best friend is insane copy this into your profile.
If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile, and add your name to this list: danyan, zElDaPhAnToM-bLiNdBaNdIt-RaVeN, Firehawk, Rainfire, Snowfur, Firestar's Gal, Amberstar-Leader of SkyClan, Guard of the twilight, Monkeybutt98, Et Cadet Satan Stabit
If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile.
If you think that the kids should stop chasing Lucky and leave the frickin leprechaun alone, then copy and paste this into your profile.
Put this in your profile if you didn't know the Alphabet Song and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star had the same tune.
If you have ever walked in on your parents having sex, copy and paste this on your profile.
If you are a person who acts friendly but has an evil mind and is secretly plotting world domination, copy and paste this into your profile.
If someone actually thinks that you are evil and/or plotting their death, copy and paste this into your profile.
If there are times where you just wanna annoy someone for the heck of it copy this into your profile (the best time to do it)
If you've ever thought about something when you were talking about something else, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever wondered what would happen if you peeled an M&M, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you love talking, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.
Top 15 Chuck Norris facts:
1. Chuck Norris is on earth to do two things: drink milk and kick butt. He just finished his milk.
2. Chuck Norris once got angry and kicked a building. That building is found in Pisa.
3. They say that if you type "Google" into Google, you break the Internet. It is more commonly said that if you type "Chuck Norris" into Google, the Internet breaks you.
4. When Chuck Norris jumped into water, he didn't get wet. The water got Chuck Norrised.
5. When Chuck Norris watched a chick flick it was considered manly.
6. Chuck Norris made Journey stop believing
7. The sky is the limit, unless of course you're Chuck Norris
8. When the Universe was young and foolish, it got in a fight with Chuck Norris. We know this as the "Big Bang".
9. Some people can skip rocks on water. Chuck Norris can skip water on rocks.
10. The best part of waking up, is not Folgers in your cup, but knowing Chuck Norris did not kill you in your sleep.
11. Chuck Norris once peed on an eighteen wheeler. It is now known as Optimus Prime.
12. Crop circles are warnings to aliens that Chuck Norris lives here.
13. The saddest part of a young child's life is not finding out Santa isn't real...It's finding out Chuck Norris is.
14. Chuck Norris once carved a life-size model of his cat from stone. His cat's name was Sphinx
15. The song " What if God Walked Among Us?" was Chuck Norris' way of tipping us off.
16. Chuck Norris is too awesome to have just 15 facts.
Try and read this: I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas toghuht slpeling was ipmorantt! tahts so cool!
If you could read that, put it in your profile! (awesome, right?)
40 Things To Do In An Elevator
1. Crack open your briefcase or handbag, peer inside, and ask, "Got enough air in there?"
2. Stand silent and motionless in one corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
3. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to open the doors, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open by themselves.
4. Greet everyone with a warm handshake and ask them all to call you Admiral.
5. Meow occasionally.
6. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM!" and back away slowly.
7. Say "DING!" at every floor.
8. Say "I wonder what all these do?" and push all the red buttons.
9. Make explosion noises whenever someone else presses a button.
10. Stare, grinning, at another person for a while, then say, "I have new socks on."
11.When the elevator is silent, look around and ask, "Is that your beeper?"
12. Try to make personal calls on the emergency phone.
13. Draw a little square with chalk on the floor then say to the other passengers, "This is my personal space."
14. When there's only one other person on the elevator, tap them on the shoulder then pretend it wasn't you.
15. As you are coming to the end of the journey, get emotional and have a group hug with the other passengers. Tell them that you will never forget them.
16. Ask if you can push the buttons for other people, but push the wrong ones.
17. Hold the doors open and say that you're waiting for a friend. After a while, let the doors close and say, "Hi, Greg. How's your day been?"
18. Drop a pen and wait until someone bends to pick it up, then scream, "That's mine!"
19. Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.
20. Pretend that you're a flight attendant, and review emergency exits with the other passengers.
21. Swat at flies that don't exist.
22. Yell, "Group hug!", then enforce it.
23. Make race car noises when someone gets on or off.
24. Congratulate all for being in the same lift as you.
25. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering, "Shut up, all of you just shut UP!"
26. Walk in with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.
27. While the doors are opening, hurriedly whisper, "Hide it...quick!", then whistle innocently.
28. Let your cell phone ring--don't answer it.
29. Walk into the lift and say, "This reminds me of being buried alive. Ah, those were the days..."
30. Take shoes off before entering. Then look shocked and disgusted when others don't.
31. Ask people which floor they want, then say, "Is that your final answer?"
32. Also in your bellboy act, ask people what floor they want. Whenever they answer, give them a glare and say, "You should be ashamed of yourself!"
33. Ask loudly, "Did you feel that?"
34. Tell different people that you can see their aura.
35. When the door closes, announce to the others, "It's okay. Don't panic, they open up again."
36. Announce in a demonic voice, "I must find a more suitable host body."
37. Start breathing heavily and grab your chest when someone walks in. Then stumble out gasping for air.
38. If you are the only one in the lift, press all the buttons then stand and stare at the door, waiting for someone to come in.
39. If someone looks at you, laugh maniacally and tell them that you're there for the mental health convention.
40. Dress up in a long black cloak with a hood, stare at everyone, and in a deep voice announce: "It is time..."
read these, they are funny as hell
"If you think that nothing is impossible, then you've obviously never tried slamming a revolving door."
"2 wrongs don't make a right; 3 wrongs do."
"I don’t suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it."
"I'm a paranoid apathiest. I know someones out to get me and I just don't care."
"If the world was a stage, I'd want to be the one operating the trap door."
"I wonder why people say 'life is so short?' when life is the longest thing that you will ever experience?"
"An optimist is someone who falls off the Empire State Building, and after 50 floors says, 'So far so good!' "
"You can't have everything... where would you put it?"
"Travel to exotic places, see new things, meet more people and make more friends... then kill them."
"A consultant is someone who takes a subject you understand and make it sound confusing."
"Never go to sleep with a grudge... plot your revenge!"
"If curiosity killed the cat, then what about it's other lives?"
"Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of the people I killed because they were annoying."
"Here's to you and here's to me, and I hope we never disagree. But, if we do, then to HELL with you, here's to ME!"
"Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them, and you have their shoes."
"I've not failed. I've just found thousand ways that don't work."
"According to the latest figures, 43 percent of all statistics are utterly worthless."
"Don't steal. The government hates the competition."
"Tell the truth and run."
"Smile! It makes them wonder what you're up to."
"Friends come, and friends go, but enemies accumulate."
"Truth is stranger than fiction, because fiction has to make sense.."
"Power corrupts. Absolute power is kind of neat."
"Generally, generalizations are wrong."
"Ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make ye mad."
"All things considered, insanity may be the only reasonable alternative."
"If we knew what we were doing, it wouldn't be research."
"The Truth is out there. So what are you doing here?"
"If you can't beat them, join them. Then take over."
"Whatever you are, be a good one."
"You cannot shake hands with a clenched fist."
"You can never underestimate the stupidity of the general public."
"Freedom is the right to be wrong, not the right to do wrong."
"The difficulty is not so great as to die for a friend, as to find a friend worth dying for."
"If you try to fail and succeed, what have you done?"
"Enjoy every minute of life. There's plenty of time to be dead."
"And in the end, it's not the years in your life that count, it's the life in your years."
"We don't live in the world of reality, we live in the world of how we percieve reality."
"If God had intended Man to smoke, he would have set him on fire."
"A single death is a tragedy. A million deaths is a statistic."
"Have the courage to live. Anyone can die."
"Education is important. School, however, is another matter."
"When a finger points at the moon, the imbecile looks at the finger."
"Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to change it every 2 months.
20 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity
1. At Lunch Time , Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.
2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.
3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that.
4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label it " In".
5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.
6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks , Write "For Smuggling Diamonds".
7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy".
8. Don't use any punctuation.
9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.
10. Order a Diet Water when ever you go out to eat, with a serious face.
11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go".
12. Sing Along At The Opera.
13. Go To A Poetry Recital. And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme?
14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area and Play tropical Sounds All Day.
15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not In the Mood.
16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom.
17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won! I Won!"
18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking lot, Yelling "Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!"
19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, "Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go."
20. And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity.
22 Things to do at Wal-Mart
1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.
2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.
4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, " 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.
5. Go to the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.
8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"
9. Look right into the security camera; & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.
10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.
11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.
12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.
13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"
14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream.. "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!"
15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!
16. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "go, pikachu, go!"
17. Challenge people to duels in the back aisles with wrapping paper tubes.
18. Have a conversation with yourself loud enough so that people in the other aisles can hear you.
19. Throw things over one aisle into another one.
20. Mark out price tags with a sharpie.
21. Go to a random aisle and try to reach the top item. When someone comes and asks you if you need help, scream loudly "I can't reach my chexcereal!" and keep screaming it until they go away.
22. Stand in the middle of an aisle way and burst out into the Pepto Bismol song, dance moves included.
Pickup Lines That Are Doomed To Fail...
1. You look familiar; have I seen you before? Oh yeah, I remember! You look like my next girlfriend!
2. Hey baby, I'm like a rubix cube. The longer you play with me, the harder I get.
3. If I bit my lip, would you kiss it better?
4. Do you have a map? I got lost in your eyes...
5. If I said you have a nice body, would you hold it against me?
6. You be an iceberg, I'll be the Titanic, and I'll go down on you.
7. If I tossed this 50 cent coin, what are the chances of me getting head?
8. I'll be the flower, you be the bee, and you can have a taste of my honey!
9. Are you an alien? Cause you've just abducted my heart.
10. Can I take your picture? I want Santa to know exactly what I want for Christmas.
11. Your beauty was so distracting that I ran into a wall, so I'm gonna need your name and number...for insurance reasons.
12. Excuse me, I lost my number. Can I have yours?
13. If being pretty is a crime, then you are guilty as charged.
14. Good thing I brought my library card, 'cause I'm checking you out!
15. Are you free tonight or is it gonna cost me?
16. Is it hot in here, or is it just you?
17. Are you an overdue book? 'Cause you've got FINE written all over you.
18. Do you have a mirror in your pocket? 'Cause I can see myself in your pants.
19. Did you fart? 'Cause you blew me away!
20. I know I'm no Fred Flinstone, but I can make your bed-rock.
21. The word of the day is "legs." Let's go back to my place and spread the word.
22. What do you say we go back to my room and do some math: Add a bed, subtract our clothes, divide your legs, and multiply.
23. That shirt’s very becoming of you. If I were on you, I’d be coming too
24. Nice dress; but it would look better on my floor.
25. Did they just take you out of the oven? Because you’re hot!
26. If you were a new hamburger at McDonald's, you would be McGorgeous.
27. Can I borrow a quarter? I want to call my mom and tell her I just met the girl of my dreams.
28. Do you have any raisins? No? Well, then how about a date?
29. Can I interview you? I'm writing an atricle on the finer things in life.
30. Can you help me settle a bet? My friends say angels don't eixst...
31. Is there a ninja in your pants? 'Cause your butt is kicking!
32. What's that say on your neck? 'Made in Heaven'.
Mommy I am only 8 inches long but I have all my organs. I love the sound of your voice. Every time I hear it I wave my arms and legs. The sound of your heart beat is my favorite lullaby.
Mommy today I learned how to suck my thumb. If you could see me you could definitely tell that I am a baby. I'm not big enough to survive outside my home though. It is so nice and warm in here.
You know what Mommy I'm a boy! I hope that makes you happy. I always want you to be happy. I don't like it when you cry. You sound so sad. It makes me sad too and I cry with you even though you can't hear me.
Mommy my hair is starting to grow. It is very short and fine but I will have a lot of it. I spend a lot of my time exercising. I can turn my head and curl my fingers and toes and stretch my arms and legs. I am becoming quite good at it too.
You went to the doctor today. Mommy, he lied to you. He said that I'm not a baby. I am a baby Mommy, your baby. I think and feel. Mommy, what's abortion?
I can hear that doctor again. I don't like him. He seems cold and heartless. Something is intruding my home. The doctor called it a needle. Mommy what is it? It burns! Please make him stop! I can't get away from it! Mommy! HELP me!
Mommy I am okay. I am in Jesus's arms. He is holding me. He told me about abortion. Why didn't you want me Mommy?
Every Abortion Is Just . . .
One more heart that was stopped. Two more eyes that will never see. Two more hands that will never touch. Two more legs that will never run. One more mouth that will never speak.
If you're against abortion, and if you almost cryed post this in your profile
The girl you just called fat
She's overdosing on diet pills.
The girl you just called ugly
She spends hours putting makeup on hoping people will like her.
The boy you just tripped
He is abused enough at home.
See that man with the ugly scars
He fought for his country.
That guy you just made fun of for crying
His mother is dying.
Repost if you're against bullying.
I bet more than 95% of you won't...
If yuo cna raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid.
Cna yuo raed tihs? Olny 55 plepoe out of 100 can.
I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno’t mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset cna be a taotl mses and yuo cna sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the hmuan mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! If yuo cna raed tihs add tihs to yrou’e porflie!
I was walking around in a Target store, when I saw a Cashier hand this little boy some money back.
The boy couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 years old.
The Cashier said, 'I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy this doll.'
Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him: ''Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?''
The old lady replied: ''You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.''
Then she asked him to stay there for just 5 minutes while she went to look a round. She left quickly.
The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand.
Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to.
'It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for Christmas.
She was sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her.'
I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus would bring it to her after all, and not to worry.
But he replied to me sadly. 'No, Santa Claus can't bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there.'
His eyes were so sad while saying this. 'My Sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.''
My heart nearly stopped.
The little boy looked up at me and said: 'I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from the mall.'
Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing. He then told me 'I want mommy to take my picture with her so she won't forget me.'
'I love my mommy and I wish she doesn't have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister.'
Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly.
I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. 'Suppose we check Again, just in case you do have enough money for the doll?''
'OK' he said, 'I hope I do have enough.' I added some of my money to his with out him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for the doll and even some spare money.
The little boy said: 'Thank you God for giving me enough money!'
Then he looked at me and added, 'I asked last night before I went to sleep for God to make sure I had enough money to buy this doll, so that mommy could give It to my sister. He heard me!''
'I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn't dare to ask God for too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose.''
'My mommy loves white roses.'
A few minutes later, the old lady returned and I left with my basket.
I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I started.
I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind.
Then I remembered a local news paper article two days ago, which mentioned a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car occupied by a young woman and a little girl.
The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-sustaining machine, because the young woman would not be able to recover from the coma.
Was this the family of the little boy?
Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the news paper that the young woman had passed away.
I couldn't stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to the funeral home where the body of the young woman was exposed for people to see and make last wishes before her burial.
She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest.
I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed for ever. The love that the little boy had for his mother and his sister is still, to this day, hard to imagine.
And in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him.
Now you have 2 choices:
1) Repost this message, or 2) Ignore it as if it never touched your heart.
there were 2 girls
They were looking through peoples MySpaces.
The girl slowly came upon this one myspace.
It had creatures in the background and the man looked like a psycho.
She started laughing with her friend commenting on how ugly he was.
Right then, an instant message came up.
SatanStalker: So how do u like my MySpace??
XxLoVemExX: Who is this anyway??
SatanStalker: Well, you should know; youre looking at my MySpace right now.
XxLoVemExX: How do you know that im looking at ur pro??
SatanStalker:I know when people look at my MySpace.
XxLoVemExX: What? That doesnt make any sense, how?
SatanStalker: I just do.
Satanstalker: Especially to pretty girls like you.
Satanstalker: With very nice legs I might say.
At the time the girl was wearing high shorts.
She started to pull them down a little bit to cover what ever she could. Her and her friend started to get worried now.
XxLoVemExX: Ok whatever man youre starting to scare the living sht out of me.
SatanStalker: You should be afraid.
SatanStalker: You wouldnt want an ugly guy like me touching your legs huh? I mean thats what you just said about me with your friend like a minute ago.
They were in shock.
Her friend: Holy crap man just block him hes a fcking psycho!
The girl: Ok holy crap, you think hes watching us?
SatanStalker: I am.
SatanStalker: Well it wouldnt really matter if you blocked me anyway; it wouldnt stop me from coming to your house.
XxLoVemExX: What? My house?
SatanStalker: Yeah, youre alone so its not a problem.
XxLoVemExX: Ok I think Im going to leave now because youre freaking me out.
SatanStalker: Your screen name says love me, trust me that wont be a problem.
SatanStalker has just signed off.
The girl and her friend were really scared.
Girls friend: Whatever lets just go upstairs trust me I doubt hes really coming. Its just a joke from someone.
They went upstairs and were having a pillow fight.
All of a sudden the girls friend said she had to go to the bathroom. The girl said ok.
Ten minutes later the girl noticed that her friend was still in the bathroom and was wondering what was up.
She goes and knocks but no one said anything
she opens it and finds her friend there on the ground dead. She started to scream but when she turned around he was there. News the next morning said that there was one girl dead in the bathroom;
her neck sliced with blood all over the ground. with her head nailed to the wall. Just her head.
Lesson is DON'T use MySpace
1.Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, and find line 4.
I resent my children for the marks they left on my body. my boobs- Confessions of a Scary Mommy (Not my book but it had some messed up shit in it so i am reading it)
2.Stretch your left arm out as far as you can. What do you reach?
A plasic glove
3. What is the last thing you watched on TV?
4. Without looking, guess what time it is:
5. Now look at the clock. What is the actual time
6. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?
The contant vocie in my head, better know as George
7. When did you last step outside? What were you doing?
This afternoon, going down to the garage
8. Before you started this survey, what did you look at?
My email inbox
9. What are you wearing?
Exercise pants and a red Reebok shirt
10. Did you dream last night?
I dreamt that Sophia blow up Norwayne and that they changed in into a dark castle she was sitting on her masters lap on a couch three men on each side of her and two wemon looking at her with hate from the balcony, then the two wemon dieing at the masters hand because they tried to harm Sophia when the three of them were alone, then there was a ball, then my mother woke me up.
11. When did you last laugh?
When I was reading a doctor who fanfiction
12. What are on the walls of the room you are in?
Pokemon cards, a vase, pages from an dark arts book, photos of my friends and I, ying yang signs, anime drawling, writings, money, seals, music, movie cover, names.
13. Seen anything weird lately?
A guy saying that wearing girl pants does not make him a homo or bi (not that i have anything against that, I have plently of friends like that)
14. What do you think of this quiz?
15. What is the last film you saw?
16. If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy?
nanites to start an army and take over the world!
17. Tell me something about you that I don't know about.
I hate this bloody planet
18. If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?
I would make it so people could not act like fucking retards it pisses me the fuck off
19. Do you like to dance?
20. George Bush:
Could care less about him
21. Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?
22. Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him?
Jesus Christ or Lucifer
23. Would you ever consider living abroad?
Yes to get away from this hell hole would be pure bliss
24. What do you want God to say to you when you reach the pearly gates?
"Welcome, you have wish for Hell so here is your hell, Heaven!" me thinking 'Well blime i wanted to meet bloody Satan, he is my idol after all. well any how i can turture those mother fucking goody- two shoe that are here.' God glareing at me. "What don't like me send me to Hell i rather be there.
Pepsi or Coke: Coke
Vanilla or Chocolate: Chocolate
Cake or Ice Cream: or
McDonalds or Burger King: or
Love or Money: Money
Music or TV: Music
Cat or Dog: Dog
Mom or Dad: Dad
Truck or Car: Car (Plymouth Duster)
Ocean or Lake: Lake
Yahoo or Hotmail: or
Google or AJ: Google
Light or Dark: Dark
Country or City: Country
Rain or Sunshine: Rain
I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED.
Fav Doctor: ninth doctor
You are the church, I am the steeple...
(i found this online by Phillip J Clayton on writerscare.org; if you want this down, I will but know this you shouldn't have possed it online, I have gave all credit to you so yeah I am steeling nothing from you.)
I am an idea, I am forever;
a seed planted in the mind,
soil is fertile watch it grow.
I defile decree, challenge your authority,
by all means look down on me
it wont be long before I look down on you.
I am blasphemy...
I am Allah, Maitreya Buddha, Jesus Christ,
yes I am Krishna, the Messiah, Saoshyant;
less we forget the “Dark Lord”.
7 blasphemous names must become a triptic 6,
Watch carefully...I come with tricks,
I can change the world...
I must stop these words before they form a sentence,
a sentence that is me, I will claim what was taken,
I pissed on your bible, now you can see...love me.
Hail mary full of grace...bend over you're only sucking cock,
return your umbilical noose to your womb where it should be,
Remove yourself from that tree.
Daggers for all the sheep...kill with power!
The goats must now take the lead,
Speak little horn speak boldly, the little pompous bastard that you are.
Speak for all to hear, who will listen?
They lack virtue, the meek has now become the strong,
the fittest never survives,
it is the suffering and dying that wins the prize.
Naked we stand before you, judge us now we have nothing to hide.
Like the Jews who killed that man,
pass your judgement upon this land,
destroy to purify, violence with a purpose,
Bless this genocide.
For it was built on unholy ground,
this holy temple must come down.
I am an idea, I am a question...
I am a God, I am a Devil, I am the steeple,
I am the church, I am the demon,
I am a man hate me now.
The ambassador of a small African nation chanced to visit Russia, and was entertained by his opposite number, the Russian ambassador. For three days, the African ambassador was wined, dined, and generally treated to the best hospitality that Russia had to offer.
On the final day of his visit, the Russian ambassador said, "As your stay> is coming to an end, it is time for you to play our traditional game, Russian roulette. One of the six chambers of this gun is loaded. You spin the cylinder, point the gun at your head, and pull the trigger."
This phased the African slightly, but he was a proud man of a warrior people, and to show fear would be unthinkable. Both men took their guns, spun the cylinders, and then pulled the triggers. Both chambers were empty, and both ambassadors breathed a sigh of relief..
The African ambassador was very impressed with the courageous game, and thought hard about the subject before the Russian Ambassador was due to visit his country the next year. A year later, the African ambassador treated the Russian with all hospitality, until the final day of his stay.
Leading him to a private room in the palace, the African ambassador spoke, "Now it is time for you to sample our game, African roulette." So saying, he led the Russian into the room where the only occupants were six beautiful, naked women. The African ambassador said, "These women are the most beautiful members of one of our tribes.
Any one of them will give you a blow job. Take your pick." The Russian was not entirely averse to this idea, but he couldn't see the connection with Russian Roulette.
He said, "Well, great, but where's the roulette part? Where's the danger?"
With a big grin on his face, the African ambassador answered, "One of them's a cannibal."
93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile and add your name to the list: Sunlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Moonlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Evil Genius of the COCA, Invader Miley Phantom, dAnnYsGiRl777, BloodySalvation, Lady Lost-A-Lot,
bellabookworm9, Bella Masen Cullen, Vampire Scooby, Alannaswarrior, SpottedLilly, Alleyanna Cullen, danceswithwings119, gottaluvtwilight,freexflyer, Green.Winged.Mistress, MoonStarWithWings, Yourcool79, MyNameIsCAB, Shatchi, Gabby510, twilightobsessedOECD, Aceraptor123, Person95,therealmax,FaXnEsSisADDICTION(kelsey),LE Trex, ImmaBeatYouWithaCrowbar, Just A million Rain Drops, Funnygina, RainonSaturn
Ninety-Five percent of teenagers are concerned about being popular. If you are part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list: Queen S of Randomness 016, Queen B of Randomness 016, AnimieKittyCaffe, The Gypsy Pirate Queen, That Bloody Demon, The Astrology Nerd, Shadow929, Crazy Billie Joe Loving Freak, Yavie Aelienel, Hyperactively Bored, Spymaster E, Shanny-Boo, Gem W, Brown-eyed angelofmuisc, piratesswriter/fairy to be, Bara-Minamoto, Em Quagmire, Buffy the Mary-Sue Slayer, Harry's Girl 01031992, Dawn over the Valley, Captain Samantha Lovegood, LilyGinnyBlack, Lilyre, Hermione16, iLoVeMoOnYnPaDfOot, Someone aka Me,Yourcool79, Give up your Prejudices, MyNameIsCAB, Shatchi, LE Trex, ImmaBeatYouWithaCrowbar, Just A Million Rain Drops, Funnygina,RainonSaturn
I'm a girl who has absolutely no social life. I'm a girl who never gets invited to parties. I'm a girl who dresses out of style. I'm a girl who doesn't do drugs. Most of all, I'M A GIRL WHO COULDN'T CARE LESS ABOUT THAT STUFF. If you're that kind of girl too, copy this, paste it in your profile, and add your name to the list: ImmaBeatYouWithaCrowbar, Just A Million Rain Drops, Funnygina, RainonSaturn
They Hurt Her, but she got pay back.
Carmen Winstead was a young girl who died when she was pushed down the sewer by five girls she thought were her friends.
Carmen was 17 years old when her parents decided to move to Indiana. Her father had lost his job and the only way he could find new employment was by moving to a new state. The relocation caused a lot of problems for Carmen. She had to leave her friends behind and attend a whole new school in Indiana. Carmen had a hard time making friends when she changed schools. It was the middle of the school year and most of the students had no interest in befriending the new girl. Initially, she spent many days alone, walking from class to class without speaking to anyone, but she eventually started hanging around with a group of five other girls. Carmen thought these girls were her friends, but it wasn’t long before she discovered that they had been talking about her behind her back and spreading vile rumors.
When she confronted them, the girls turned on her and began bullying her every day, making her life a misery. They started out calling her names, but then the bullying got much worse. One day, she left her school books in the classroom at break time. When she returned, she found someone had taken a sharpie and written dirty words all over her books. Another day, she opened her bag and discovered someone had poured yoghurt all over the insides. Sometimes, she would come to school and find her locker had been vandalized. The final straw came when she put on her coat at recess and found that someone had stuffed dog poop in her pockets.
There and then, Carmen decided that she couldn’t take the bullying any longer. She planned to stay behind, that evening, after school, and tell her teacher what had been happening. Unfortunately, her decision came too late to save her life.
After lunch, her teacher announced that the school was holding a fire drill. When the alarm sounded, Carmen and the other students filed out of the classroom and assembled in the yard outside. As the teachers read out the roll call, the gang of five girls decided that this was a great opportunity to embarrass Carmen in front of the whole school during the fire drill. They moved over to where Carmen was standing, near a sewer drain, and began crowding the poor girl, getting in her face and nudging her towards the open manhole.
They pushed her and she tripped over and fell head-first down the manhole. When they saw her falling, the girls started giggling and when Carmen’s name was called out, they shouted "She’s down in the sewer!"
All of the other students began laughing. But when the teachers looked down the manhole and saw Carmen’s body lying at the bottom in the muck and the poop, the laughter abruptly stopped. Her head was twisted around at an odd angle and her face was covered in blood. Worse still, she wasn’t moving. There was nothing any of the teachers could do for her. Carmen was dead. When the police arrived and went down into the sewer, they determined that she had broken her neck. Her face had been torn off when she hit the ladder on the way down and her neck snapped when she landed on her head on the concrete at the bottom.
The police hauled Carmen’s body out of the sewer and sent her to the mortuary. Everyone had to stay behind after school while the police questioned all of Carmen’s classmates. The five girls lied to the police, saying they had witnessed Carmen falling down the sewer. The police believed the girls and Carmen Winstead’s death was ruled an accident and the case was closed. Everyone thought that was the last they would hear of Carmen Winstead, but they were wrong. Dead Wrong.
Months later, Carmen’s classmates began receiving strange e-mails on their MySpaces. The e-mails were titled "They Pushed Her" and claimed that Carmen hadn’t really fallen down the sewer, she had been pushed. The e-mails also warned that the guilty people should own up and take responsibility for their crime. If they didn’t there would be horrible consequences. Most people dismissed the e-mails as a hoax, but others were not so sure.
A few days later, one of the girls who pushed Carmen down the sewer was at home taking a shower, when she heard a strange cackling laugh. It seemed to be coming from the drain. The girl started to freak out and ran out of the bathroom. That night, the girl said goodnight to her mom and went to sleep. Five hours later, her mom was awoken in the middle of the night, by a loud noise that resounded throughout the house. She ran into her daughter’s room, only to find it empty. There was no trace of the girl. The worried mother called the police and when they arrived, they conducted a search of the area. Eventually, they discovered the girl’s grisly remains.
Her corpse was lying in the sewer, covered in muck and poop. Her neck was broken and her face missing. It had been completely torn off. One by one, all of the girls who pushed Carmen that day were found dead. They had all been killed in exactly the same way and were all found at exactly the same spot. In the sewer at the bottom of the same uncovered manhole where Carmen had met her doom. But the killing didn’t stop there. More and more of Carmen’s former classmates were found dead. It seemed that anyone who didn’t believe that Carmen had been pushed, was eventually found down in the sewer with their necks broken and their faces torn off.
They say that Carmen’s ghost is still on the rampage, hunting down anyone who doesn’t believe her story. According to the legend, Carmen will get you, whether it’s from a toilet, a shower, a sink or a drain. When you go to sleep, you’ll wake up in the sewer, in complete darkness, paralyzed, unable to move, hearing cackling laughter all around you. Then, as you scream in horror, Carmen will come and tear your face off.
So be careful who you bully, because you just might find yourself on the receiving end of the curse of Carmen Winstead.
FACT: About two months later, 16-year-old David Gregory read this post and didn't repost it. When he went to take a shower, he heard laughter, started freaking out, and ran to his computer to repost it. He said goodnight to his mom and went to sleep, but five hours later, his mom woke up in the middle of the night from a loud noise and David was gone. A few hours later, the police found him in the sewer, with a broken neck and the skin on his face peeled off.
Even Google her name - you'll find this to be true.
If you've ever pulled on a door and complained about it being locked or really heavy, only to have someone point out to you that you're supposed be pushing on the door or vice versa, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have a tendency to talk to yourself post this in your profile.
If you've ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.
If, for any particular reason, you have laughed during a movie that wasn't funny, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy and paste this into your profile.
If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the fun of it, copy this into your profile.
If you have ever tripped up and/or down the stairs copy and paste this into your profile.
If you are against child abuse, you should copy this into your profile.
If you have ever run into a door,copy this into your profile.
If you have ever tripped over air,copy this into your profile.
If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile.
92 percent American teens would die if Abercrombie and Fitch told them it was un-cool to breath. Copy this into your profile if you would be in the 8 percent laughing their heads off.
The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?" The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away... Post this on your profile if you hate racism
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."
2. My mother taught me RELIGION. "You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
3 . My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL. "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"
4. My mother taught me LOGIC. "Because I said so, that's why."
5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC. "If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT. "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."
7. My mother taught t me IRONY. "Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS. "Shut your mouth and eat your supper."
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM. "Will you look at that dirt on the back of your nec k!"
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA. "You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."
11. My mother taught me about WEATHER. "This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY. "If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"
13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE. "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION. "Stop acting like your father!"
15. My mother taught me about ENVY. "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."
16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION . "Just wait until we get home."
17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING. "You are going to get it when you get home!"
18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE. "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."
19. My mother taught me ESP. "Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"
20. My mother taught me HUMOR. "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don 't come running to me."
21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT. "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."
22. My mother taught me GENETICS. "You're just like your father."
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS. "Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"
24. My mother taught me WISDOM. "When you get to be my age, you'll understand."
25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE. "One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"
Why America has some issues (Yes, I live there, but tough. These are all clever.)
1. Only in America...can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
2. Only in America...are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.
3. Only in America...do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
4. Only in America...do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.
5. Only in America...do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.
6. Only in America...do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
7. Only in America...do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.
8. Only in America...do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.
9. Only in America...do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'
. 10. Only in America...do they have drive-up ATM's with Braille lettering.
In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual labels on consumer goods:
On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. ( that's the only time I have to work on my hair).
On a bag of Fritos! ..You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special)?
On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be how?...)
On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's "just" a suggestion).
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh)!
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (...and you thought?...)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time?)
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and.. .I'm taking this because?...)
On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to...what?)
On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)
On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (thanks for clearing that up...it would've been a mess)
On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (That's right. Destroy kids dreams everywhere)
On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands." (...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
On Coke can in some countrys (On bottom of can): "Open on other side." (Thank god that was there to clear it up)
Take Time To Read Each Sentence
This is this cat
This is is cat
This is how cat
This is to cat
This is keep cat
This is a cat
This is retard cat
This is busy cat
This is for cat
This is forty cat
This is seconds cat
Now read the THIRD word of every line :)
When she walks away from you mad Follow her
WHAT A KISS MEANS
Kiss on the stomach = "I'm ready"
What the gesture means...
If you LIKE, LOVE, OR MISS someone right now and can't get them out of your head then Re-post this within One Minute and Whoever you are missing will surprise you. Repost this as what a kiss means
OUR GUY SIDE:
You love hoodies.
YOUR GIRL SIDE:
You wear lip gloss/chapstick.
Yes I am actually a girl though.
You own a mobile phone. (cause I have to)
Black is one of your favourite colors.
You can skateboard
You love the computer.
You watch/watched the Super bowl.
You like loud music.
If you agree post on you profile...
You say English, we say Japanese
You say cars, we say Nyan Cat
You say Justin Bieber, we say Vocaloid
You say swords, we say Bleach
You say reality, we say Anime
You say comics, we say Manga
You say countries, we say Hetalia
You say hello, we say Konichiwa
You learn Japanese from classes, we learn from anime
You cry if a character dies, we have a rainbow of emotions
You only feel what your favorite person feels, we feel what everyone else is feeling
You crush on pop stars, we crush on anime characters
You think we're crazy, but we think you're just normal
You say souls, we say Soul Eater
You Say Ocean, We Say ONE PIECE
You Say Guild, We say FAIRY TAIL
You Say Ninja, We Say Naruto
You say Family, We say Vongola
You say notebook, We say DeathNote
You say Gay, We say Yaoi
You say rabbits, we say Flying Mint Bunny
You think we're fangirls/fanboys, but we're all Otakus
Girls Don't realize these things;
that I bought you roses to tell you that I like you
That I was raised with respect not to sleep with you when you were drunk
That my body's not ripped enough to "satisfy" your wants
that I open your car door, and pull out your chair like I was raised
That I'm not cute enough to be "your guy"
That I am actually nice; not a jerk
I don't have a huge bank account to buy you expensive things
I like to spend quality nights at home cuddling with you, instead of at a club
I would rather make love to you then just screw you like some random guy.
That I am always the one you need to talk to, but never good enough to date
That I always held your hair back when you threw up, and didn't get mad at you for puking in my car,
but when we went out you went home with another guy
That I am there to pick you up at 4am when your new man hit you and dropped you off in the middle of nowhere,
but not good enough to listen to me when I need a friend
If I start not being there because it hurts being used as a door mat,
only to be thrown to the side when the new jerk comes around
If I don't answer my phone anymore when you call, to listen to you cry for hours,
instead of getting a couple hours of sleep before work
that you can't realize.. I've been the one all along.
I'm sorry If you read this and know somebody like this but don't care
But most of all
For not being sorry anymore
That you can't accept me for who I am
I can never do anything right, and nothing that I do is good enough to make it in your world.
I'm sorry I caught your boyfriend with another girl and told you about it,
I thought that was what friends were for...
I'm sorry That I told you I loved you and actually meant it.
I'm sorry That I talked to you for nine hours on Thanksgiving when your boyfriend
was threatening you instead of spending time with my family.
That I cared
that I listen to you at night talking about how you wish you could have done something different.
Ladies always complain and gripe to their friends that there is never any good guys out there, and they always end up with assholes who mistreat them. Well ladies, next time you're complaining, maybe look up to see who you're complaining to, maybe that special someone is right there hanging on your every word as usual, screaming in his head "Why won't you give me a chance?" Because the person you are usually searching for is right by you.
If you're a guy and you agree with this letter, copy and paste into your profile as 'I'm sorry'
If You're one of the FEW girls with enough BALLS to copy and paste this into your profile, and you would never make your guy feel this way, copy and paste into your profile as 'Girls Don't Realize These Things.
1. Write the name of a person of the opposite sex.
2. Which is your favorite color out of red, black, blue, and green, yellow?
3. Yourfirst initial?
4. Your monthof birth?
5. Which color do you like more, black or white?
6. Name of a person of the same sex as yours.
7. Your favorite number?
8. Do you like California or Florida more?
9. Do you like the lake or the ocean more?
10. Write down a wish (a realistic one).
Are you done?
If so, scroll down
1. You are completely in love with this person.
2. If you choose:
Red: You are alert and your life is full of love.
Black: You are conservative and aggressive.
Green: Your soul is relaxed and you are laid back.
Blue: You are spontaneous and love kisses and affection from the ones you
Yellow: You are a very happy person and give good advice to those who are
3. If you’re initial is:
A-K: You have a lot of love and friendships in your life.
L-R: You try to enjoy life to the maximum and your love life is soon to
S-Z: You like to help others and your future love life looks very good.
4. If you were born in:
Jan.-Mar.: The year will go very well for you and you will discover that you
Fall in love with someone totally unexpected.
Apr.-June: You will have a strong love relationship that will not last long but
The memories will last forever.
July-Sept.: You will have a great year and will experience a major life
Changing experience for the good.
Oct.-Dec.: Yourlove life will not be too great, but eventually you will find your
5. If you choose...
Black: Your life will take on a different direction; it will seem hard at the time
But will be the best thing for you, and you will be glad for the change.
White: You will have a friend who completely confides in you and would do
Anything for you, but you may not realize it.
6. This person is yourbest friend.
7. This is how many close friends you have in a lifetime.
8. If you choose...
9. If you choose...
10. This wish will come true only if you RE-POST THIS BULLETIN in one hour and it will come true before your next birthday!
If you have ever read fanfiction for at least three hours straight, then wondered when it got so dark out, copy and paste this on your profile
If you like to read fanfiction more than you like to read books, copy and paste this on your profile.
If you think that life without computers is useless, copy this to your profile.
Heaven doesn't want me and Hades is afraid I'll take over.
If you HATE and without a doubt DESPISE Masaya Aoyama (Tokyo Mew Mew) copy and paste this onto your profile and add your name to this list:mewmewice, MewTangerine, Boomity, Kittens Jaguara, MewVanilla567, Mew Sakunanbo -Mew Cherries-, Roxpixie124, kisshuismylife,black-cherry-blossoms98
If you think Masaya (Tokyo Mew Mew) should just DIE, Copy and Paste this to your profile and add your name to this list : mewmewice, MewTangerine, Roxpixie124, kisshuismylife, black-cherry-blossoms98
If you hate Masaya X Ichigo, copy and paste this in your profile.
If you know someone who should be run over by a bus (coughRyoucough), copy this to your profile
If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile.
If you have ever wished you could talk to animals, paste this into your profile.
I love these quotes:
Don't knock on death's door, ring the doorbell and run. He hates that.
You say 'crazy' like it's a bad thing.
Join the dark side. We have cookies!
I was going to take over the world but I got distracted by something sparkly.
Of course I'm out of my mind! It's dark and scary in there!
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