Black Rose Heart
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Joined 04-20-12, id: 3938526, Profile Updated: 12-26-13
Author has written 12 stories for Hetalia - Axis Powers, and Homestuck.

"'Why?' you ask? Why do we do it?"

"Because we get paid, I hope."

"Because it's there!"

-Calvin and Hobbes by Bill Watterson

*STATUS: The computer I was writing my stuff on is mocking me from the corner*

A tired writer who constantly procrastinates schoolwork by writing lovely, sorry, passable fan fiction. Through conquering severe emotional turmoil and channeling despair through fan fiction, my tone and emotional writing's gotten better. Or so I like to think. Mostly, I write AUs but there are some exceptions. I beta too, because my editing is one of the reasons my stuff isn't absolutely horrific. Though the same cannot be said for my earlier stuff. Really, you should avoid my earlier Hetalia works. Unless you like to read stuff that's so bad it's funny. Or you're a close friend attempting to blackmail me.

Mostly Hetalia, Homestuck, crossovers if I find a great new anime/series.

Main ships: USUK, Franada, NiChu, SuFin, GerIta, Spamano, basically anything with Prussia. On the side, HRExChibitalia, LietPol, DenNor, and my secret favorite being HongIce ;) And now because of Homestuck, JohnKat, PB&J (Gamzee/Tavros), and pistol pony rodeo (Dirk/Jake) KanRose and EriSol (Kinda, it's cute)

What I have already: *statuses* and summaries

So five countries walk into a bar...: Franada, NiChu, USUK, and what happens when they all get drunk together. One of my first fics. I reread it a while ago and practically flung my computer at the wall. I'll have to rewrite it sometime. *complete*

Chocoholic: USUK, Alfred the closet chocoholic unrequitedly loves the school's SCA president, Arthur Kirkland. *complete*

Espresso: Finally up and updated, goes with Frappucino by tsuruui, who swears they'll update soon. Similar prompts, but we turned it inside out and upside down, so don't expect to recognize it XD the only thing that's really similar is the setting. *complete*

Continuation to the doujin A Hero and a Wizard, which takes place in a Harry Potter world AU, and since I sobbed at the ending to the doujin so much, I decided to make an ending where the fourth wall is broken and happiness is reached. Because that is the way of a fan fiction writer :D *complete*

A June Wedding: Prussia and Hungary break the news to Austria and tell them they're engaged, then Switzerland visits and things get complicated. PruHun, AusSwiss. The title is (kinda sorta maybe) from Artemis Fowl. *complete*

Two Questions: A lovely USUK I wrote between updates. Alfred always says he has two questions, but claims the second is a secret. Arthur can't help but be curious. Spans across several flashbacks and about 15 or so years. Surprisingly short for all that, though Based roughly on my strange mindset during childhood. My friends have informed me no, it is not normal for a preschooler to be married twice and my life is indeed odd. *complete*

Dancing Round All Alone: Slightly songfic based off of Taylor Swift's Enchanted, about Gakuen USUK with hints of Franada. The night of the school play, everyone is falling. It's what happens when everyone works on a play together...}:) *done*

So Let's Set the World on Fire: Also slightly songfic, but barely. USUK, hints of others, an angsty, sad story that's bound to turn out happy at some point. I'm trying to use real experiences for this one as a trial run, if it works out well I might end up somehow turning other parts of my life into a fanfic...XD *I decided an epilogue was a bad idea*

Angel with a Shotgun:Inspired by the song by The Cab of the same name, just a few Hetalia inspired oneshots. Spamano so far, possible others. *abandoned, possibly. I'll just call it complete. It is a product of boredom.*

The Masseur: Arthur's entire senior staff thinks he needs a break, so his devious boss practically forces him to go to a day spa. Thankfully, all they signed him up for was a massage. Unfortunately, the masseur's name happens to be Alfred F. Jones...*I'll get around to it someday*

Substitute Teaching 101: I always thought our Hetalia characters would need a way to blow off steam, so America channels it by being a substitute teacher! This is what happened when he somehow talks England into coming with him. They'll meet some average middle schoolers, interact with them, watch them, and discover that they're not that different after all. Now with even more chapters :) *complete*

Texas-Stuck: Homestuck AU that just popped into my head one day and I go, hey, let's broaden my scope of fan fiction! Texas because its the only place I could think of that has rodeos and cattle XD sorry for the stereotype, Texans. All trolls are human, all humans are human, all alphas are not here, most ancestors become parents/close family members, dancestors are appearing as siblings, and I'm giving it a shot.

-First part, centered around Karkat, pairing of Johnkat, Pusuit of Something New *Updating when I can finish formatting logs*

This is going to be so much fun. I can just tell.

Sickles and Hammers: Communism Communism. That is all. Russian Revolution AU.

The 27 Commandments of Fanfiction

Note: This list (and subsequent lists) are directed at new writers. Most experienced writers know better. I hope.

1. Thou shalt not post a fic until it has been checked for grammar and spelling errors. The fanfiction gods hath given you a spellchecker on the computer for good reason. Use it.

2. Thou shalt not post a chapter of less than 100 words, unless it is a drabble. This displeases the masses.

3. Thou shalt not put author's notes in the middle of the story.

4. Thou shalt NEVER use text-speak in a fic, unless the characters are actually texting.

5. Thou shalt keep to one tense, and only one, throughout the story. Do not switch randomly.

6. Apply the above number 5 to POVs as well.

7. Thou shalt not get offended when someone makes fun of the crack pairing featured in your fanfiction. It probably is rather hilarious.

8. Thou shalt not use :) , ;D , or >:( in a fanfiction to show the emotion exhibited by a character.

9. Thou shalt try-eth to keep characters in character!

10. Thou shalt not treat every criticism as a flame.

11. The author's note is not a spot for your personal drama, and thou shalt not make it so.

12. Thou shalt not put any form of the phrase "first fic" in thy summary.

13. Thy created characters must not have names that exceed five syllables in length. Nor shall thy name have more than five words in length.

14. Thou shalt not insert thyself into the story line as thyself or as a character- yes we know that you are in love with yourself and are very narcissistic, we just don’t want to read about how you end up with the main character.

15. If thou art writing a story that does not follow the original story line, point it out in the beginning.

16. Thou shall not make a person randomly smart or powerful unless stating a reason for the change (a good reason).

17. Thou shalt show and not tell.

18. Thou shalt not EVER use the phrase "I suck at summaries" in-est thine summary. This annoys thine readers.

19. Thou shalt not write the same way thou speak-est - writing is an art.

20. Thou shalt ALWAYS spell the word "okay" correctly. Using the letter "K" is an unacceptable compromise.

21. Thou shalt only use clichés when thou a) art writing a parody or b) find a new and interesting twist to make such clichés bearable to thine reader.

22. Thou shalt always separate dialogue from two separate speakers in two separate paragraphs. Otherwise thine readers shalt be confuse-ed.

23. Thou shalt not EVER make a chapter all one paragraph. THIS INFURIATES BOTH THINE READER AND THE FANFICTION GODS. They have given thee an ENTER key with good reason.

24. Thou shalt not write with thy caps lock on, it displeases the masses and causes thy readers to lose their vision and make angels weep.

25. Thou shalt know how to spell the character's names correctly before you writeth the fic. Misspelling the name of the main characters makes readers angry and distracts from the story. It will also create Minis. Mini-Balrogs, Mini-Aragogs, Mochi Nations - whatever it is, the Mini will hate you.

26. Thou shalt not say in thine summary "summary inside". This shows lack of creativeness and infuriates the masses. The only exception is when a summary is cut short and a continuation of it lies inside.

27. Thou shall use paragraphs and space the story so it is not terrifyingly daunting to thine readers.

All of these helped me out at one point or another. I recommend this.

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Dead Men Tell No Tales by Bloodypleasures reviews
After faking his own death, Alfred boarded a pirate ship under the belief it was a safe supply ship. Now he has a choice; either join the Emerald Dragon's crew, or drown in the seas trying to swim to land… Hiatus
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 15 - Words: 44,447 - Reviews: 92 - Favs: 109 - Follows: 149 - Updated: 1/10/2016 - Published: 8/12/2011 - England/Britain, America
At Fault by seductivefeline reviews
Tavros Nitram is a disabled teenager who is succumbed to bullying and has terrible self-confidence. It's only when he meets a strange man named Gamzee Makara that his life begins to take a turn for the better. AU, rated M for language/sexual content. (Edit: ON HIATUS!)
Homestuck - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 35 - Words: 109,650 - Reviews: 747 - Favs: 671 - Follows: 709 - Updated: 12/29/2013 - Published: 2/8/2012 - Tavros N., Gamzee M.
A Year of Surprises by teaandcharcoalforbreakfast reviews
Nations in times of prosperity are capable of reproducing. Of course there's a problem with this: when they do go into heat it doesn't stop until they conceive. This is the story of America's first pregnancy. Mpreg, UKUS, M for smut.
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 12 - Words: 29,061 - Reviews: 96 - Favs: 316 - Follows: 170 - Updated: 4/1/2013 - Published: 2/5/2012 - America, England/Britain - Complete
Ten Years Later by Xx8BlueMoon8xX reviews
An unconventional love story between two unsuspecting kids. Whether you believe in soul mates or not, sometimes fate pushes two people together for a purpose. Dirkjake Rated T for language
Homestuck - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 8,563 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 59 - Follows: 11 - Published: 8/7/2012 - Dirk S., Jake E. - Complete
Coffee Black by owlpostagain reviews
Your name is KARKAT VANTAS and you are A DISGRUNTLED EMPLOYEE. In fact, you are THE DISGRUNTLED EMPLOYEE, with a proper capital T-H-E.
Homestuck - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,181 - Reviews: 51 - Favs: 186 - Follows: 20 - Published: 6/19/2012 - Karkat V., John E. - Complete
All In Good Fun by theamericanandhisbrit reviews
Alfred decides to take the famous Seme-Uke quiz with Arthur to see if they are actually compatible as a couple... USUK one-shot
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,251 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 97 - Follows: 9 - Published: 4/25/2012 - England/Britain, America - Complete
Fly Me To The Moon by LucyMoon1992 reviews
Italy gets drunk on shots at a party and staggers home, crashing into Germany on the way. Italians and alcohol really aren't a good mix...
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,730 - Reviews: 28 - Favs: 57 - Follows: 7 - Published: 4/10/2012 - N. Italy, Germany - Complete
White Blank Page by swAhILi2011 reviews
Alfred is a janitor for a major corporation working 14 hour days just to get by, running errands for his boss for extra money. His life is bland, made up of work and sleep, until a mix-up sends him on the front step of the prostitute his boss is buying
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 2 - Words: 11,848 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 51 - Follows: 7 - Published: 3/7/2012 - America, England/Britain - Complete
The Wallflower Garden by teaandcharcoalforbreakfast reviews
Arthur is an accountant in an office. Alfred is their IT guy. This is the story of how two coworkers with mutual crushes turn into lovers. M for sex and language. Written for sweethearts week.
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,074 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 104 - Follows: 17 - Published: 3/3/2012 - America, England/Britain - Complete
In the Cold Rain by Sparxwrites reviews
"I can't keep not telling you..." England's confession of love doesn't exactly work out, and it's up to America to be the hero and save him from himself. USUK.
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,547 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 75 - Follows: 10 - Published: 8/15/2011 - America, England/Britain - Complete
Ask Me Anything by Iggycat reviews
Alfred starts to follow Arthur on tumblr. It's not long until they become friends... and possibly more. USUK
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,988 - Reviews: 486 - Favs: 1,930 - Follows: 206 - Published: 7/21/2011 - America, England/Britain - Complete
Soft Spot by Floraluna Aria reviews
Of course no one would notice, unless they were looking very, very closely. USUK
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: K - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 739 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 132 - Follows: 6 - Published: 12/21/2010 - [America, England/Britain] - Complete
Beijing 1972 by Raven Sforz reviews
One-shot, Japan/China. On September 29, 1972, Japan visits China with the intention to apologize. China is reluctant. And both get more than they bargained for.
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,417 - Reviews: 25 - Favs: 108 - Follows: 21 - Published: 10/23/2010 - China, Japan - Complete
A Good Kind of Selfish by Blank Paiges reviews
"Once I have something, I keep it. And I don't like sharing!" US/UK, with mentions of Franada. One-shot and fluff.
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,541 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 89 - Follows: 6 - Published: 7/21/2010 - America, England/Britain - Complete
Once Upon a Time by Hasegawa reviews
China found Japan. Two loners become family. China loves him as a brother while Japan loves him as a lover. Pairings: Japan X CHina, Russia X CHina, mentioned : UK X china, US X UK
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 9 - Words: 17,087 - Reviews: 95 - Favs: 95 - Follows: 21 - Updated: 1/4/2010 - Published: 12/17/2009 - Japan, China - Complete
Hate by KatNinja reviews
America thinks that England hates him, but he loves England. England thinks that America hates him, and happens to love America. Misunderstanding runs rampant. AmericaxEngland
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,330 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 118 - Follows: 12 - Published: 2/16/2009 - America, England/Britain - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Roguish reviews
Oneshot of an alternate universe in which there is an unexpected mastermind. Character death, suicide, non-explicit though.
Homestuck - Rated: T - English - Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,069 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 3 - Published: 12/26/2013 - Karkat V., Terezi P., Nepeta L. - Complete
Sickles and Hammers reviews
It's a time of revolution in the city of Petrograd. The ruling family will be toppled by the onslaught of protest. Amid it all, Karkat Vantas, an agent of the revolution, will find himself behind opulent enemy lines along with an unlikely friend. Humanstuck, Russian Revolution Alternate History AU. Johnkat.
Homestuck - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,032 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 4 - Published: 8/15/2013 - John E., Karkat V., Nepeta L.
Pursuit of Something New reviews
In the town of Hussfield, Texas, life couldn't seem more ordinary. Karkat Vantas is a 21 year old minimum-wage worker at the local movie theater, generally loathing life as it goes by monotonously. He never expected a naive idiot with the most irritating bucktoothed grin to give him something new to think about. Johnkat, Texas-Stuck AU.
Homestuck - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 7 - Words: 15,582 - Reviews: 31 - Favs: 46 - Follows: 54 - Updated: 8/15/2013 - Published: 11/13/2012 - Karkat V., John E.
Substitute Teaching 101 reviews
How did America manage to talk England into being a substitute teacher for a day? Well he did, and so our favorite Brit's day begins! But along the way, he meets some people who aren't so different from himself. teacher!America and England. Not actively shipping, but somewhat USUK. T for Arthur's language.
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 10,783 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 14 - Updated: 9/15/2012 - Published: 7/30/2012 - America, England/Britain
The Masseur reviews
No, Arthur didn't want to go to a spa on the whim of his idiotic French coworker and cheerful Spanish boss. But he had to, and now he's in for a little more than relaxation. Can the best masseur this side of the Atlantic Ocean help him finally loosen up? USUK. Human AU. PruHun and Spamano if you brought a telescope.
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 2 - Words: 3,873 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 21 - Updated: 7/22/2012 - Published: 7/20/2012 - England/Britain, America
Espresso reviews
A refreshing, energizing tale of a jaded businessman who thought he'd seen it all; and the young barista who showed him just how wrong he was. USUK, slight Franada, T for language. Human AU.
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 6 - Words: 13,139 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 14 - Updated: 7/20/2012 - Published: 5/3/2012 - America, England/Britain
Two Questions reviews
Ever since Arthur's known him, Alfred says he has two questions. But he has no idea what the second one is. Will he ever find out? Oneshot with flashbacks, Human/Gakuen AU, human names, NiChu if you squint.
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,251 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 3 - Published: 5/6/2012 - America, England/Britain - Complete
Dancing Round All Alone reviews
Arthur and Alfred are working on their school play, while both carry their own secret love. Will the tipping point between the two be reached? USUK, mentions of GerIta and Franada. Gakuen AU. Human names used. T for Arthur's language.
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 3 - Words: 6,233 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 11 - Updated: 5/5/2012 - Published: 5/4/2012 - America, England/Britain
Chocoholic reviews
The bittersweet tale of a closet addict hoping his love realizes his feelings before its too late… USUK. depressed!America in parts. PruHun, Spamano, Greece/Turkey, NiChu, AusSwiss and DenNor if you have a telescope. Gakuen AU
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 5 - Words: 15,364 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 33 - Follows: 10 - Updated: 4/25/2012 - Published: 4/24/2012 - America, England/Britain - Complete
A June Wedding reviews
It can only be awkward when Hungary and Prussia have to tell Austria they're engaged. But what if an old friend comes to visit as well? PruHun and AusSwiss mostly, but upcoming sprinklings of USUK, Franada, Spamano, and SuFin.
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 4 - Words: 8,113 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 27 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 4/24/2012 - Published: 4/23/2012 - Hungary, Prussia - Complete
Continuation to The Hero and the Magician reviews
Based off of the doujin of the same name, Arthur has a curse upon his name and seeks to lift it, so he keeps everyone far away from him to keep them safe. Except one boy who keeps getting closer. USUK, Harry Potter AU, a tiny innuendo at the end.
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,783 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 6 - Published: 4/23/2012 - America, England/Britain - Complete
So five countries walk into a bar reviews
America, England, Japan, and China all go drinking to celebrate current events but end up doing more than that. Mix in Canada and France and you've got a good approximation of what happens. Equal parts USUK, NiChu, and Franada.
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 3,896 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 5 - Published: 4/22/2012 - America, England/Britain - Complete