Atzenarii
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Joined 04-22-12, id: 3945502, Profile Updated: 08-20-13
Author has written 3 stories for Hetalia - Axis Powers.

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へびりすにょろ by はち


Current Status: Alive and writing!

Current Fic(s):

  • ISWT - Hetalia; USUK (Not posted; not official title)
  • The Canadian and Spider-Voldemort - Hetalia; Crack-fic (1/2 done)
  • Next Update: ?


    Do she got da booty? She doooooo


    Hello there! I'm Atz, and this is my wonderful --albeit small-- fanfiction library! (Or so I title it...)

    Personal -

    Gender: Female, though that is debatable sometimes.

    Sexuality: Bisexual; prefer women. Please, leave any and all homophobic and/or hateful comments in the trashcan at the door!

    Location: Texas, USA.

    Cons?: Not at the moment, but have always wanted to go to A-Kon. However, I am broke.

    Cosplay?: Oh, I'd love to! Alas, the same as cons, I'm broke.

    Education: Yes. I attend school Monday to Friday

    A few things I enjoy: Foxes, Tumblr, the night, the moon, my wonderful friends, metal music, RoosterTeeth, owls, wolves, RP'ing, TruTV, yaoi and especially yuri, cats.

    Phobias?: Cockroaches, I can't evenwjknafndkv... Also, the Emergency Alert System announcement tone they have here in Texas.

    My Fandoms -

  • Hetalia: Axis Powers
  • Homestuck
  • The Legend of Zelda (I've played Twilight Princess, Ocarina of Time, Skyward Sword, and some of Majora's Mask before ragequitting...)
  • Vocaloid
  • Harry Potter (Partially. I like it, but it's not a major fandom for me.)
  • Pairings by Fandom -

    Hetalia:

  • USUK
  • PruCan
  • GiriPan
  • Spamano
  • PruMano
  • GerIta
  • Itacest
  • PruAus
  • PrussiaxHimself. (Prussiacest? Awesomecest?)
  • Red Velvet Pancakes (1P!Canadax2P!Canada)
  • Homestuck:

    Mostly just JohnDave, John/Davesprite, and Jade/Rose. I haven't gotten far enough into Homestuck yet (I'm in Act III I think I'm slow hello) to find any more yet! Oh noes.

    The Legend of Zelda

  • Link/Ghirahim
  • Link/Ganondorf
  • Jappas/Mikau
  • Zelda/Midna (It's so little known...)
  • Link/Shadow Link
  • Vocaloid:

  • Miku/Luka
  • KAITO/Gakupo
  • KAITO/Len
  • GUMI/Rin
  • Regarding Things I Will Write and Read -

    I will usually write and read ...

  • Romance. Usually, this is either yuri or yaoi.
  • Sci-Fi and Fantasy. My favourite genres! A lot of my newer fics may have some elements of one or both of these.
  • Smut. Yaoi or yuri, once again. I have a filthy mind --sue me.
  • Gore, heavy violence, etc. I like twisted and dark things, but not all of my fics will be as such.
  • Humour! I love funny things, and while I may have a different sense of humour than most, I will write it and enjoy it.
  • Crack-fics. Oh yes... Voldemort and Canada, anyone?
  • AU! Another one of my favourites!
  • Requests! Yes, I do take them, but I do have the right to reject or accept one. (Details below.)
  • I will not usually write or read...

  • M-Preg. Not my thing, mostly because I do not like OC-Children. It bothers me. (However, the exception is if OC-Children are not mentioned constantly...)
  • OCs as major characters. I will, however, use them as minor characters to help the story flow more naturally.
  • Many half-genderbent pairings. Even though I'm bisexual, I do prefer it to be two men or two women. Again, sue me.
  • Information Regarding Requests and Things -

    I will gladly take on requests! All of the information above will show all types of things I'll write and what not, so please refer to that. If there's something that isn't mentioned, or something you'd like to see anyway, just ask about it. I am very flexible and would love to chat and talk in the process!

    When/If you would like to ask for something, please state a few things (if applicable):

  • Fandom (I am most familiar with Hetalia)
  • Pairing
  • Rating
  • Genre
  • Kinks (if smutty)
  • Your Idea
  • And if you'd like to be mentioned or not when it is posted. (I could just say something like 'Requested by Anonymous')
  • Some other notes:

  • Length of the request will vary and nothing is ever set. Some ideas take 500 words, some take 4,000
  • I cannot guarantee how long each request may take, because of the length and my personal life away from the 'net.
  • I'll also do co-ops! I admittedly have never done one before, but I have always wanted to!
  • I'll keep in contact with you if you'd like me too!
  • I'll draw something if you'd prefer artwork!
  • Where Else I Can Be Found -

    Tumblr:

  • Main Blog (NSFW sometimes)
  • Hetalia FACE Family Ask Blog
  • DeviantART (Works posted here as backup; current art not posted yet!)

    Pokefarm (I RP here with some friends)


    Copy and Paste and Other Things -

    Greetings to the fine folk that moderate our site.
    I, along with many, have been writing and posting on your fine site for years now, some of the better examples of up and coming writers out there are are now suddenly finding some of the stories we've come to love at risk of being removed without the chance to even rectify our errors.
    For some, that means the permanent loss of a story. While I don't have anything that (I believe) violates your terms of use, there are those out there that are never able to recover a story in it's original form, this is something I find to be almost worthy of a legal action, as while we cannot claim ownership of a character, the stories are OURS and simply destroying them is something that is inexcusable.
    It's quite easy to simply add an MA rating, additional filters or even a simple requirement for a free membership to read the stories presented here, and would cut down on hateful anonymous reviews and posts at the same time, so I have to question as to why such a thing, in all this time, simply wasn't added.
    If you're worried about falsification of a registration then have an appropriate disclaimer and then there can be no dispute, you took your steps and the PARENTS didn't monitor their children, if that is even your concern. If it is more of a personal view or desire then please at least let people know and give them a chance to remove a story that you and yours find offensive, most people on the site are actually rather cordial when it comes to such requests.
    While I cannot say for sure if this letter will even reach those that may be willing to listen, of if it's more akin to a wide spectrum purge in preparation for something bigger, please understand that you are going to be looseing a LARGE number of your writers, and thus your income from a lack of readers if there is not some level of action taken to help with this situation.
    For those that may agree with this, please fell free to sign on and send this to the support server, maybe we can get some movement on this.

    Psudocode_Samurai

    Rocketman1728

    Phoenix-Fire Power

    Atzenarii

    I’m BISEXUAL, so I MUST want to fuck all of my friends.

    I'm a woman with SHORT HAIR, so I MUST be a lesbian or want to be a man.

    I WEAR MOSTLY BLACK, so I MUST be goth/emo or depressed.

    I’m a BLONDE, so I MUST be stupid and illiterate.

    I’m a CROSSDRESSER, so I MUST be a homosexual.

    I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS, so I MUST be looking for attention.

    I’m into ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.

    I like YAOI/YURI, so I MUST be a homosexual.

    I’m AMERICAN, so I MUST be fat and ignorant.

    I spend most of my time ALONE, so I MUST have no social life.

    I will CORRECT your GRAMMAR, so I MUST be a perfectionist.

    I don't BUY OR WEAR DESIGNER CLOTHES, so I MUST be poor.

    I don’t like the SUN, so I MUST be an albino.

    I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone.

    I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don’t.

    I draw ANIME, so I MUST be a freak.

    I like BLOOD, so I MUST be a vampire.

    I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything wrong on the planet.

    I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a terrorist.

    I have a DEEP voice for a woman, so I MUST be emo.

    I listen to DUBSTEP occasionally, so I MUST have no taste for music.

    I’ve fallen in love with a good FRIEND of the SAME GENDER, so I MUST be a homosexual slut.

    A person I’ve grown up with is RACIST, so I MUST be racist too.

    A person I'm close to is very HOMOPHOBIC, so I MUST be homophobic too.

    I’m a PERSON, so I MUST be labeled.

    I wear a COLLAR around my NECK, so I MUST be someone's pet.

    IF YOU HAVE TOO DAMN MUCH STUFF ON YOUR PROFILE, COPY AND PASTE THIS ONTO YOUR PROFILE.

    If you've ever walked into a door, copy and paste this into your profile.

    If you've ever walked into a room and forgot the reason you walked in there for, copy and paste this into your profile.

    If you've gone to peoples' profiles to find things to copy and paste, copy and paste this into your profile.

    If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fan fictions, copy and paste this to your profile.

    If you think that Writer's Block blows, copy and paste this to your profile.

    Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, then weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile!

    If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this to your profile.

    If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this to your profile.

    If you've walked under something that was about two feet above your head and ducked anyway copy and paste this to your profile.

    If you are reading this line, copy and paste it onto your profile.

    If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer.

    If you realise that copying and pasting things into your profile is pointless, yet you do it anyways, copy and paste this onto your profile.

    If you are not sure if you find these 'copy and paste things' annoying or if you love them, copy and paste this onto your profile.

    IF YOU'VE EVER LEAPT DOWN THE HALLWAY OF A HOTEL AND TURNED THE CORNER AND SAW PEOPLE STARING AT YOU COPY AND PASTE THIS IN YOUR PROFILE

    Most people would be offended if someone asked them what was wrong with their mind. Copy this into your profile if you would be one of the few people that would answer, "Where to begin?"

    If several inanimate objects hate you copy and paste this into your profile.

    If you think the Coa-Coa Puff Turkey Bird thing should go to rehab, copy this into your profile.

    If you're a perfectionist and it gets you in trouble more times than humans have created a number for, copy this into your profile.

    If you compulsively edit other people's work , copy and paste this into your profile.

    If you've ever tried to put your hair behind your ears and ended up poking yourself in the eye, copy this into your profile.

    If you love rain, copy and paste this into your profile.

    If you have music in your soul, post this in your profile!

    If you've met your not-blood related twin (in resemblance or personality), copy and paste this in your profile.

    If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile.

    If you ever felt like killing someone (or more than one person) because they wouldn't leave you alone when you told them not to distract you because you were busy, copy this onto your profile.

    If you've ever been standing straight up and suddenly fell down for no apparent reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

    If you have a true friend, copy and paste this into your profile.

    If you've ever yelled at an inanimate object for not listening to you, copy and paste this into your profile.

    If that inatimate object now hates you more because you yelled at it, copy and paste this into your profile.

    If you are in lala land most of the time copy this into your profile.

    If you are a person who acts friendly but has an evil mind and is secretly plotting world domination, copy and paste this into your profile.

    If you ever felt like just running somewhere, copy this into your profile.

    If you forgot your phone number when some one asks for it, copy and paste this into your profile.

    If you are bored and like to write stuff, copy and paste this onto your profile.

    If you think you have too many of these "copy and paste this into your profile" thingies, but have no intention of stopping now, copy and paste this into your profile.

    If you've ever been looking for something, then forgot what it was and why it was so important, copy and paste this into your profile.

    If you have a mind that you're sure no one will understand, copy this into your profile.

    If you have ever gotten so completely sidetracked in a conversation that you don't remember why you were talking in the first place, copy this into your profile

    If, for no reason, you have laughed during a movie part that wasn't funny, put this in your profile.

    If you think it's stupid that girls are automatically labeled with the color pink, copy and paste this into your profile.

    If you are such a loser that you actually read all these 'If you ever blah blah blah, copy this into your profile' things, copy this into your profile

    If you can't stand preppy people who talk like this: "I, like, can't believe, I, like, chipped my manicure!!", copy and paste this into your profile.

    If you enjoy copying and pasting these copy and paste thingys, copy and paste this onto your profile.

    If you are bored and like to write stuff, copy and paste this onto your profile.

    If you get good grades and still know nothing at all, copy and paste this onto your profile.

    If you are so cool that you actually read through all of these copy this into your profile!!

    If you've ever felt like something was watching you and then turned around to find nothing, copy and paste this into your profile.

    If you have a little voice inside your head that talks to you constantly and won't shut up, copy and paste this into your profile.

    If you've ever been in an awkward situation before paste this.

    BARRELS.

    FANFICTION- UNITED NATIONS! Has anyone else noticed how a lot of us get along and make friends on here and we can be from completely different countries? We're here making world peace on the INTERNET and we have all those ambassadors and senators and whatever struggling with it! If you realize this (or read this and agreed) copy and paste this and add your name and country (country is optional) to the list. SPREAD THE PEACE!: Naruto-fan-Okami-chan (USA), DGMSilverAirHead03(USA), Crystal Amethyst (Armenia), InoueR0xO (Pakistan), poohxebony (USA), DreamingInThePast (Spain), loves2readandwrite (USA), SeaDevil (Sweden), Vampgal212 (U.K.), Verdigurl ( New Zealand), Animerockchic (Republic of Ireland), Momoka64 (USA), Ve Kuraresa Bleach (USA), AFleetingPhantom (U.K.), EpicHeroLaugh (USA), Atzenarii (America)

    Lolipops turn into cigarettes
    The innocent ones turn into sluts
    Homework goes in the trash
    Mobile phones are being used in class
    Detention becomes suspension
    Soda becomes vodka
    Bikes become cars
    Panties turn into g-strings and underwear into boxers
    Remember when getting high meant swinging on the playground?
    When protection meant wearing a helmet?
    When the worst things you could get from the opposite sex were cooties?
    Dad's shoulders were the highest place on Earth and mom was your hero?
    Your worst enemies were your siblings
    Race issues were about who ran the fastest
    War was nothing but a card game
    The only drug you knew was cough medicine
    Wearing a skirt didn't make you a slut
    Wanting to be a wrestler didn't make you gay
    The only thing that hurt you were skinned up knees
    And goodbyes only meant until the next day?

    And to think we couldn't wait to grow up.

    Gotta luv dem KIKWIS.

    Don't throw your ZeLink in my face. I'll throw it up.

    Only in America

    1. Only in America...can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.

    2. Only in America...are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.

    3. Only in America...do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

    4. Only in America...do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.

    5. Only in America...do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.

    6. Only in America...do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.

    7. Only in America...do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.

    8. Only in America...do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.

    9. Only in America...do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'

    10. Only in America...do they have drive-up ATM's with Braille lettering.

    How to Tell if You're a Writer
    -If you talk to yourself.
    -If you talk to yourself about talking to yourself (i.e. 'I wonder why I talk to myself ch?')
    -If, when you talk to yourself, you sometimes speak as if talking to another person (i.e. 'Okay, so have you ever noticed that the word 'deliver' could mean someone's liver?')
    -If, after uttering a profound piece of wisdom like that above, you stare at the cookie in your hand in awe and say, 'Wow, this is good stuff for sugar highs!'
    -If you live off of sugar and caffeine.
    -If people start to notice that you tend to check your e-mail every day for a week, then suddenly disappear off the face of the planet.
    -If your e-mails tend to be pages long and incredibly random.
    -If, when replying to someone else's e-mail, you are sometimes so random that you fail to address the original message altogether.
    -If you tend to collect the Bic Stics people leave lying around, kind of like picking pennies off the ground.
    -If, no matter where you are in your room, you never have to so much as get up to reach a pen/pencil and paper.
    -If the letters are starting to wear off on the keys of your keyboard.
    -If people think you might have A.D.D.
    -If you think it'd be cool to have A.D.D.
    -If you start constantly talking in third person, past tense.
    -If you think about making lists like this, and start giggling for no 'apparent' reason.
    -If your friends don't even bother to look funny at you anymore when you start giggling for no apparent reason.
    -And finally, the number one way to tell if you're a good writer: You failed English 101.
    Copy and Paste this if you're a writer

    If you rearrange the following words, you'll find that the same letters spell the given definition. Someone out there either has too much
    spare time, or is really good at Scrabble.

    Dormitory: Dirty room

    Astronomer: Moon starer

    George Bush: He bugs Gore

    The eyes: They see

    Slot machine: Cash lost in me

    Desperation: A rope ends it

    Presbyterian: Best in prayer

    Election results: Lies! Let's recount

    Snooze alarm: Alas! no more z's

    Eleven plus two: Twelve plus one

    Mother in law: Woman Hitler

    The Morse code: Here come dots

    A decimal point: I'm a dot in place

    The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.

    As Part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would be known as "Euro-English".

    In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy.

    The hard "c" will be dropped if favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.

    There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 2 letters shorter.

    In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.

    Governments wil enkourage the removal of double leters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.

    Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

    By the 4th yer peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".

    During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be droped from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.

    Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of united urop vil finali kum tru.

    Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German lik zey vunted in ze forst plas.

    If zis mad yu smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl.

    Some of my friends actually took this seriously. If you had a good laugh or if you just think it's funny, copy and paste it into your profile, and pass it onto others who could have a good laugh.

    Heaven doesn't want me and Hell is afraid I'll take over.

    Labels are for cans, and in case you haven't noticed - I'm not a can, so don't label me.

    Excuse me...have you seen my sanity?...I think I lost it.

    Whoever said nothing is impossible, never tried slamming a revolving door...

    STRESS: A condition brought on by over-riding the bodies natural desire to choke the living daylights out of some jerk who desperately deserves it.

    I had a friend once, but then the rope broke and he got away.

    You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder.

    I'm the kind of person who will burst out laughing in the middle of a dead silence because of something that happened yesterday.

    Being mature is overrated.

    Being weird is like being normal, only better.

    I see regular people!

    I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me.

    Life isn't passing me by, its trying to run me over.

    One day, will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject

    When angry, count to ten, when very angry, swear.

    I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it

    I believe you should live each day as if it is your last, which is why I don't have any clean laundry because, come on, who wants to wash clothes on the last day of their life?

    Don’t knock on death’s door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that.

    Silence is golden and duct tape is silver.

    When life gives you lemons throw them in life's face, they're probably poisoned.

    When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then watch the world wonder how you did it.

    If you don't like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk

    I've got A.D.D and magic markers, oh the thrills I will have!

    Life is like a pack of gum... I've yet to figure out why.

    Be insane... because well behaved girls never made history.

    Never knock on Death’s door, ring the doorbell and run away, he hates that.

    Your weirdness is creeping my imaginary friend out

    One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh, he took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions.

    WARNING: Do NOT walk in my footsteps... I tend to walk into walls, and off the occasional cliff

    I’m not afraid of Death, what’s it gonna do kill me?

    It’s always the last place you look. Of course it is - why would I keep looking after I’ve found it?

    If two wrongs don't make a right, try three

    I'm so gangster, I carry a squirt gun.

    Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you do criticize them, you're a mile away and have their shoes

    I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're going, and hook up with them later.

    The sooner you fall behind the more time you'll have to catch up.

    If you can't fix it with duck tape you haven't used enough!

    I didn't lose my mind, I sold it on eBay.

    There is no "I" in team but there is definitely a "ME"...

    I ran with scissors, and lived!

    Fergie taught me how to spell delicious and glamorous.

    I agree with the dictionary: girls before guys, partying before studying, and friends before love.

    Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before.

    There are three kinds of people in the world: ones that can count and ones that can't count.

    I am on a quest to the deepest, darkest corners of my room in search of what some would call "a floor" - a long and difficult task awaits me. Wish me luck my friends, for I may not return alive.

    I'm not afraid of Death. What's he gonna do, kill me?

    Duct tape is like the force, it has a light side and a dark side and it holds the universe together.

    Education is important, school however, is another matter.

    Don’t mess with me - I've got a stick.

    Evening News is where they begin with "Good Evening" then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

    I can only please one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow's not looking good, either.

    Don't follow in my footsteps, I tend to walk into walls.

    I smile cause I don't know what the hell is going on.

    Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

    He who laughs last, thinks slowest.

    Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

    Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.

    Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.

    A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.

    The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.

    When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of 12 people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.

    Keep smiling - it makes everyone wonder what your up too

    I am NOT saying you're stupid...I'm just implying it.

    If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.

    Don't run in the school hall, gliding is more fun!

    I'm the kind of girl who would get fired at the M&M's company for eating most of them.

    I'm the kind of girl who's not afraid to prank my friends.

    If all else fails, destroy all evidence that you tried.

    Two wrongs don't make a right, but they make a good excuse.

    The person who smiles when things go wrong has found someone to blame it on.

    Never argue with an idiot. They'll just drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.

    I'd tell you to go to hell, but I work there and really don't want to see you everyday.

    Normal people scare me...but not as much as I scare them.

    Even if the voices aren't real, they have some good ideas.

    Curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back.

    Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.

    When in doubt, push random buttons!

    There's always a light at the end of the tunnel. Of course, it's usually an oncoming express train.

    There are three kinds of people. Those who learn by reading, a few who learn by observation, and the rest who have to test the electric fence for themselves.

    Just when I think you've said the stupidest thing ever you just keep on talking.

    You know, you do this annoying thing where you open your mouth and then these things you call words come out. Yeah like that. Stop it.

    An idiot is a 44th floor window washer who steps back to admire his work.

    Why be difficult, when with just a little bit of effort, you can be impossible?

    Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film.

    A clear conscience is usually a sign of memory loss.

    There are no stupid questions, just a lot of inquisitive idiots.

    I'm not as dumb as you look.

    I used to have super powers, but then my therapist took them away.

    Love your enemies. It gets them really confused.

    Writing isn't a career, it's more of a mental illness.

    Anything thrown hard enough should hurt.

    Curiosity killed the cat, satisfaction brought him back, but stupidity killed him again.

    Flying is simple, you just throw yourself at the ground and miss.

    Some say the glass is half full, some say it's half empty, I say, "Are you gonna drink that?"

    All people have the right to stupidity but some people abuse the privilege.

    The trouble with life, is there's no background music.

    A clean house is a sign of a broken computer!

    Do not walk behind me for I may not lead, do not walk in front of me for I may not follow, do not walk beside me either. JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!

    Don't piss me off, I'm running out of places to hide the bodies.

    I don't get even, I get odder.

    If life gives you lemons, make lemonade. Then throw it back at life and steal the oranges you asked for!

    In order to lose your mind, you have to have one in the first place.

    I've learned from my mistakes, and I'm sure I could repeat them exactly.

    You have the right to remain silent, anything you say will be misquoted and used against you.

    Chaos, panic, pandemonium, my work here is done.

    When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country.

    I don't think my parents liked me. They put a live teddy bear into my crib.

    At my lemonade stand I used to give away the first glass for free, and charge five dollars for the refill. It contained the antidote.

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    Cryonic by ChibiJazRide reviews
    After suffering a fatal attack from an unknown illness, Lovino Vargas underwent cryopreservation, leaving behind his only family, his boyfriend, and a blooming company. Years later the effects are only just coming into play causing more problems than his preservation was supposed to solve. Human AU; T for language; pre-established Spamano
    Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Sci-Fi - Chapters: 20 - Words: 48,089 - Reviews: 87 - Favs: 61 - Follows: 92 - Updated: 4/1/2014 - Published: 6/18/2012 - [S. Italy/Romano, Spain]
    Slavery by HollowPhoenix reviews
    In the moments before he went unconscious, Link had overheard the demon lord say to him, "you're all mine now, you petty slave." He'd failed to rescue Zelda... so sure, why not? GhiraLink yaoi/ lemon RATED M BECAUSE OF SEXY TIME :O
    Legend of Zelda - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 25 - Words: 34,558 - Reviews: 97 - Favs: 78 - Follows: 35 - Updated: 6/30/2013 - Published: 10/25/2012 - Link, Ghirahim - Complete
    Ramblings in the Hetalian Language by slyb1ue reviews
    Complete and utter crack. This is literally what happens when you leave me alone with the impulse to write Hetalia crack. This was all made up on spot and is really random. None of the chapters are related to each other. Rated T for stuff... Human names used
    Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 1,453 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 4/8/2013 - Published: 9/26/2012 - N. Italy, S. Italy/Romano
    Kidnapping Tomatoes by LemonHatshepsut reviews
    Spain was out shopping. Oregano, he said he was getting. We didn't even need oregano. My car just came in from Rome... I just wanted to drive around. I was upset he didn't take me with him. Or at least that's what Feli tells me I said. I have to take his word for it... because I can't remember.
    Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 12 - Words: 55,248 - Reviews: 66 - Favs: 64 - Follows: 86 - Updated: 3/2/2013 - Published: 4/26/2012 - S. Italy/Romano, Spain
    Holy Mother of Five Hour Energy! by Epic Hero Laugh reviews
    Where does America get his energy? 5-hour energy is the secret to his success. So of course, he has to get the other nations to try it out, as well as the new and experimental 12-hour energy. With the help of Tony's invisible cameras, what did America get in terms of blackmail? Brace yourself, the bottles are drained. HELP! Crack...
    Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 8 - Words: 18,839 - Reviews: 140 - Favs: 79 - Follows: 74 - Updated: 2/2/2013 - Published: 9/8/2012
    Pornstar Dancing by ShadowmoonXBlackfire reviews
    A Spamano FanFiction based on the song 'Pornstar Dancing' by My Darkest Days - Sexual Themes - PruCan, Fem!AmericaXEngland mentioned
    Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 36 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 3 - Published: 11/18/2012 - S. Italy/Romano, Spain
    Dirty Little Secret by KissMeDeadlyT-T reviews
    Prussia has a dirty little secret. Canada has a dirty little secret. Prussia writes. Canada draws. Neither of them know about each others' little kinks, and when Canada finds out about Prussia's... well, he and Prussia end up bonding over their secret habits. Rated for implied stuff, sexual content and just general stupidity (Prussia). PruCan. NOT a lemon.
    Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,263 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 69 - Follows: 11 - Published: 11/16/2012 - Canada, Prussia - Complete
    Valentines week by SkyEternal reviews
    Hetalia High is an international school. Each year, they hold an event containing a match making game. One week, is the limit. Let's see how many couples we can make within one week! Event, START! Many pairings involved, mainly UsUk.
    Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 13 - Words: 24,380 - Reviews: 50 - Favs: 28 - Follows: 43 - Updated: 11/11/2012 - Published: 7/26/2012 - America, England/Britain
    Fast Food Frenzy by DragonEye0905 reviews
    AU; Ghirahim is at his favorite fast food restaurant, when Link walks in, and they have a little... disagreement. WARNING: OOC and childish humor/violence.
    Legend of Zelda - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,540 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 1 - Published: 10/31/2012 - Link, Ghirahim - Complete
    Paraphilial Activity by americalovesthecockpit reviews
    COMPLETE. England accidentally chokes to death, though only temporarily because he is a country. What is America to do with his dead body in the meantime? It drives him mad and he asks France for help. Bad idea. USUK, crack, lulz, and a little bit of necrophilia.
    Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 16,373 - Reviews: 42 - Favs: 56 - Follows: 14 - Updated: 10/31/2012 - Published: 10/30/2012 - America, England/Britain - Complete
    Amusement Parks by Miss Pajamas reviews
    Antonio wants to take Lovino to an amusement park. However, there are many unexpected turns. Spamano. May have a sequel.
    Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,629 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 5 - Published: 9/3/2012 - S. Italy/Romano, Spain
    Starships by PixieDust291 reviews
    Blind and held prisoner, Arthur finds himself at the mercy of Alfred, a space pirate with a truly curious crew. Alfred is determined to seduce Arthur, and Arthur fears his resolve won't last. His duty is clear, but so is his desire. As the days tick by Arthur begins to question what loyalty means. He begins to realize that being a prisoner may actually set him free.
    Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: M - English - Romance/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 17 - Words: 45,075 - Reviews: 349 - Favs: 493 - Follows: 174 - Updated: 8/19/2012 - Published: 7/22/2012 - America, England/Britain - Complete
    Blood Is Thicker Than Beer by IggyGiggle reviews
    Four things Finland could do without: cleaning, an angry Norway, a convenient cliff, and seeing Denmark naked. Well, you can't always get what you want. Nordic-centric. SuFin, DenNor.
    Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,080 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 55 - Follows: 6 - Published: 8/10/2012 - Sweden, Finland, Norway, Denmark - Complete
    Origami Roses by MasochisticKitten reviews
    Japan returned to a conference meeting one day to find a white origami rose sitting upon his stuff. He didn't think much of it...until he began receiving more at every meeting after. Just who was leaving the strange, wonderful roses for him? England X Japan; didn't put this in Author's Notes, but requests for other couples anything but FrUk are welcome! :
    Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: K - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,620 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 29 - Follows: 2 - Published: 8/3/2012 - England/Britain, Japan - Complete
    It's A Start by MasochisticKitten reviews
    Russia goes over to China's house for a sleepover. During a scary movie, China falls asleep on him. After putting the elder nation to bed, he remembers his feelings for him... Don't know how to do a proper/decent summary for this...I'm sorry. I'm horrible with them... TT-TT I swear it's good, though! :D Human names partially used; Russia X China
    Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: K - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,622 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 1 - Published: 8/1/2012 - China, Russia - Complete
    American Wife by M.D. Off-Red reviews
    In an attempt to escape his monotonous life, the bored God looks for a bride in the human world. But what if the lucky 'bride' turns out much fiercer, taller, physically stronger, even more dominating than he imagined, and well-not quite-female? USxUK AU
    Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 17 - Words: 76,230 - Reviews: 458 - Favs: 469 - Follows: 528 - Updated: 7/16/2012 - Published: 3/20/2010 - America, England/Britain
    Are you Orpheus? by EnglishFangasms reviews
    When visiting his friend, Greece, Japan is bitten by a poisonous snake. There aren't any hospitals nearby, so Greece decides to save his friend the old fashioned way. The Ancient way, in fact! Follow our favorite sleepy nation as he goes through the treacherous Underworld to save Japan!
    Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: K - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,213 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 14 - Published: 7/14/2012 - Greece, Japan
    AsaKiku? Crack fic by LgoesWhee reviews
    Just a crack fic to fix boredem Lots of swearing and stuff.
    Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 335 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 3 - Published: 7/7/2012 - England/Britain, Japan - Complete
    SPOMONO by Tata-kun reviews
    I did writing of fan fiction Is not Spamano is spoon x Romano Regards, tata Thank.
    Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 741 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 2 - Published: 6/17/2012 - S. Italy/Romano - Complete
    Listen to the Rain by AwesomeKiwi reviews
    Why is it so hard to say goodbye? Hinted USUK if you squint...
    Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: K+ - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 475 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 2 - Published: 5/23/2012 - America, England/Britain - Complete
    The 12 Days of Spamano by Mollz33 reviews
    Spain decides to give Romano the 12 days of Christmas. Only, things don't go exactly as planned...
    Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 12 - Words: 14,358 - Reviews: 64 - Favs: 64 - Follows: 42 - Updated: 12/25/2011 - Published: 12/14/2011 - Spain, S. Italy/Romano
    Stalker by Lucky-Angel135 reviews
    Russia has been stalking China for centuries, and although China is used to the horrible injuries resulting from his "love," finally it's enough and China says a few choice words to his admirer. But when Russia apparently gives up, why is China so hurt?
    Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 8,486 - Reviews: 52 - Favs: 147 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 12/11/2011 - Published: 1/7/2010 - Russia, China - Complete
    Glow In The Dark Sunglasses by I.Write.Love reviews
    In which John visits Dave for the summer, brings him a pair of glow in the dark sunglasses and the A/C "mysteriously" breaks. Dave/John. Smut. Review, please?
    Homestuck - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 7,271 - Reviews: 129 - Favs: 571 - Follows: 59 - Published: 8/28/2011 - Dave S., John E. - Complete
    Like a Tomato by Daoiki reviews
    "Nngh, ah, bastard…it—it hurts…" he whimpered, arching away from the Spaniards touch. "Ah, Lovi, it'll feel good…I promise." Antonio murmured, kissing his Italian lovers back promisingly...Spamano, short one-shot.
    Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 353 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 45 - Follows: 5 - Published: 11/13/2010 - Spain, S. Italy/Romano
    A new kind of vanilla steamer by ButterFish reviews
    USUK, AU, oneshot - Alfred goes to get his favourite drink, a vanilla steamer. But Arthur, the new staff-member of the cafeteria, misunderstands him and gives him a more sexy kind of vanilla steamer than he had expected
    Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,718 - Reviews: 56 - Favs: 278 - Follows: 24 - Published: 5/16/2010 - America, England/Britain - Complete
    Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

    Apples and Moon Tears reviews
    AU one-shot, USUK. Alfred wakes up in the middle of the night to a loud boom of thunder, only to find that his boyfriend, Arthur, is no longer in bed, but rather outside in the apple orchard. Horrid summary, better story. Rated T for slight cursing, nothing heavy.
    Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Fantasy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,217 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 2 - Published: 11/17/2012 - America, England/Britain - Complete
    Voices reviews
    "It's everything we've been searching for, yes? Then why not stay?" Snapped!Feliciano. Slightly hinted GerIta. Rated mostly for gore, blood, and my own paranoia.
    Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: M - English - Angst/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,623 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 2 - Published: 9/1/2012 - N. Italy
    Scary Monsters and Nice Sprites reviews
    "You don't need to hide my friend, for I am just like you." RusAme one-shot inspired by the song 'Scary Monsters and Nice Sprites' by Skrillex. Read and Reveiw, please?
    Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: K+ - English - Fantasy/Supernatural - Chapters: 1 - Words: 686 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 2 - Published: 7/24/2012 - Russia, America - Complete