team-this-isnt-twilight
hide bio
PM . Follow . Favorite
Joined 04-24-12, id: 3951944, Profile Updated: 03-19-14
Author has written 1 story for Hunger Games.

Hello people of Earth (Holy crap! You aren't from Earth? Well... just don't kill me, K?)

Here are a few things you should know about me...

1. My name is Shelby... and I do, in fact, live on Earth. *gasp* I know... it's impossible to believe. Oh and I have a second home on Mars! :D That's all I'm telling you... I don't want internet people stalking me. If you already are stalking me... then FUCK YOU .-.

2. I may or may not curse. XD

3. I LOVE the Hunger Games... like I have an obsessive love of the book... and the movie... and the fanficton. If you hate the Hunger Games then GET THE FUCK OFF MY PAGE! Also... I will forever ignore you if you ask me Team Gale or Team Peeta because this ISN'T TWILIGHT! THERE DON'T NEED TO BE TEAMS! That's the reason behind my name.

4. I like music. If you don't like it, don't bitch about it. I honestly don't care if you haven't heard of my favorite band or hate them... if you ARE the idiot who ignores this, then I will basically tell you to fuck off. So yeah! (I know... I don't know how I'm so nice)

5. I can be sarcastic.

6. I'm writing a Hunger Games Fic right now... which is probably the only reason you are seeing this page. It's going to be bloody and gory, and disturbing. Just... fair warning. I may or may not be slightly sadistic. XD

7. I'M A FUCKING RANDOM AND STRANGE CHILD!

NOW... favorites!

Music: Alesana, All Time Low, Every Avenue, Escape the Fate, Rise Against, Simple Plan, Yellowcard, Hollywood Undead, The Cab, Forever the Sickest Kids, Pierce the Veil, Sleeping With Sirens, We are the in Crowd, A Skylit Drive, Falling In Reverse, Silverstein, BlessTheFall, In Fear and Faith, Underoath, My Chemical Romance, Mariana's Trench, Hey Monday, Paramore, and A Day to Remember.

Books: OBVIOUSLY The Hunger Games Trilogy, all Fallen novels, Twilight Saga, House of Night series, Morganville Vampires series, Gone novels, Vampire Academy series, Need series, Darkest powers trilogy, Vampire kisses series, house of wolves series, NIGHTSHADE TRIOLOGY... ya I could go on forever, but ill leave it on that...

Quotes!

Silence is golden... But screaming is fun!

Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, "This is going to take more than one night.”

You can't make someone love you. All you can do is
stalk them & hope they panic & give in.

The grass may be greener on the other side but at least you don’t have to mow it

A person who aims at nothing is sure to hit it

Enjoy life. There's plenty of time to be dead.

Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyways.

Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change

A metaphor is like a simile.

If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me

I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing

Where there's a will, I want to be in it!

TRESPASSERS WILL BE SHOT... SURVIVORS WILL BE SHOT AGAIN!

Every piece of paper has two good sides... Unless you use magic marker then you're fucked

I’m an angel! Honest! The horns are just there to keep the halo up straight!

4 out of 5 voices in my head say go back to sleep

Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in his or her shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

Do vegetarians eat animal crackers?

SMILE! It scares people

EVIL is just LIVE spelled backwards.
Normal people worry me

What happens if you get scared to death...? Twice?

How can there be self-help GROUPS?

What if you're in hell, and you're mad at someone, where do you tell them to go?

When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their signs?

Children in the dark cause accidents, accidents in the dark cause children

List your 12 favorite Hunger Games characters below

1. Finnick

2. Katniss

3. Rue :)

4. Peeta

5. Cinna

6. Cato

7. Clove

8. Prim :)

9. Haymitch

10. Thresh

11. Glimmer

12. Gale

1) Have you ever read a six/eleven fanfic before?

Cato and Glimmer? I actually have :) It was a good story.

2) Do you think four is hot? How hot?

Peeta is hot... but not as hot as Finnick!!!

3) What would happen if twelve got eight pregnant?

Gale got Prim pregnant? GALE YOU PEDO!!!! YOU HAVE ISSUES!

4) Do you recall any fics about nine?

Haymitch? A few

5) Would two and six make a good couple?

Well let’s see... Katniss and Cato... I actually like this couple... even though they wouldn't work out... :( BUT I LOVE THEM!

6) Five/Nine or five/ten?

Cinna and Haymitch or Cinna and Thresh... Thresh, they are closer in age.

8) Make up a summary of a three/ten fanfic.

Rue and Thresh. Well, they are too far apart in age to be a couple if you ask me so... Friendship fic!!

He knew she would make it far, but wouldn't make it to the end... not without help. It became his duty to protect the younger girl; will he be able to succeed? (No) :(

9) Is there any such thing as one/eight fluff?

Finnick and Prim... no... That is way too pedofileish for my liking...

10) Suggest a title for a seven/twelve hurt/comfort fic

Clove/Gale only districts apart.

11) Does anyone on your friends list read three?

WTF IS A FRIENDS LIST?

12) Does anyone on your friends list draw or write eleven?

I STILL DON’T KNOW WHAT A FUCKING FRIENDS LIST IS!

13) Would anyone on your friends list write two/four/five?

SERIOUSLY! WHAT’S A FUCKING FRIENDS LIST?

14) What might ten scream at a great moment of fear?

Nothing. He is silent most the time.

15) If you wrote a song fic about eight, what song would you use?

Prim... My Worst Nightmare (Forever The sickest Kids)

16) If you wrote a one/six/twelve fic, what would the warning be?

Finnick/Cato/Gale. Warning... very inappropriate and disturbing and violent. Should not be read by anyone under the age of 100. and kinda hot ;)

17) What would be a good pick up line for ten to use on two?

Thresh to Katniss. Girl I like you so much I didn't smash your skull in with a rock.

18. How would you feel if Seven/Eight were in a fight?

Clove vs. Prim... PRIM!!! KICK HER BUTT. Clove... why?

19. What would you think if you found (5) was a really good friend of a sibling or relative of yours?

Cinna. Cool, now he can design my clothes and I won't have to wear sparkles and peace signs. Stupid children sizes.

Write a short summary about a One/Two fic

Finnick and Katniss. The fire and water collide, creating a whole new experience. Includes scenes of extreme naughtiness, like Finnick without the net ;)

Let's say Two, Eight and Eleven were stuck in a burning barn. You can only save one of them. Which would you save?

Katniss, Prim, and Glimmer are in a burning barn. I choose to save... PRIM :)

Who would you rather kill of: One or Ten?

Finnick or Thresh? Thresh... I am sorry... I just... have a slight obsession with Finnick! Nothing personal?

Let's say you are going to die and you were allowed to bring either Three or Five with you. Who would you want to accompany you in death?

RUE!!! I DIDN’T EVEN LOOK TO SEE WHO FIVE IS! THE ANSWER WILL ALWAYS BE RUE!!! Wait… does that mean that Rue would die? L If so, I choose Cinna.

Would you ever go on a date with Twelve?

Gale? No, he is too old... plus... I like Finnick... unfortunately he is even older. D:

Have you read a one and four fic?

Finnick and Peeta? Yes ;)

Do you think 3 and 11 would be a good couple?

Rue and Glimmer? NO

Are 8 12 and 2 BFFs?

Prim, Katniss, and Gale are indeed BFFs (YAY!)

Have you ever read a 3 7 and 9 Fic?

Rue, Clove, and Haymitch... I hope I never do.

Do you think 6 has a secret passion for 10?

Do I think Cato has a secret passion for Thresh? Absolutely not... he did kill the guy.

1 was going out with 11 but 11 liked 3. 3 hates everyone except 5 who is with 12. 12 breaks up with 5 and 5 turns to 8 for comfort. 8 Likes 9 but 9 likes 1!

Finnick is going out with Glimmer but Glimmer liked Rue. Rue hates everyone except Cinna who is with Gale. Gale breaks up with Cinna and Cinna turns to Prim for comfort. Prim likes Clove but Clove likes Finnick. (LOL this is SO NOT true!)

1 and 2 are together but 2 wants 12. 12 is with 4. who is liked by 12 10 8 6 and 5. 5 6 and 3 are bff's. 3 is with 7 who is cheating with 9. 9 breaks up with 7 for 11.

Finnick and Katniss are together but Katniss wants Gale. Gale is with Peeta who is liked by Gale, Thresh, Prim, Cato, and Cinna. Rue, Cato, and Cinna are bff's. Rue is with Haymitch, who is cheating with Clove. Clove breaks up with Haymitch for Glimmer. NO COMMENT =D

15 Ways to Maintain a Healthy Level of Insanity:

1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.

2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.

3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.

4. When caught sleeping at school/work/wherever you are not supposed to be sleeping, and you are woken up, shout, "AMEN!"

5. Put decaf in the coffee makerfor 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to Espresso.

6. Finish all your sentences with "in accordance with the prophecy."

7. Skip down the hall rather than walk and see how many looks you get. (... in accordance with the prophecy.)

8. Order a diet water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

9. Specify that your drive-through order is "To Go."

10. Sing along at the opera.

11. Put mosquito nettingaround your work area and play tropical sounds all day.

12. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you have a headache

13. When the money comes out the ATM, scream "I won! I won!"

14. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling "Run for your lives! They're loose!"

15. Run around in circles screaming "TUMMIES!!!"

Remember when:
getting HiGH meant swinging at a playground?
the worst thing you could get from a boy was c0otiEs?
'm 0 m' (was your hero)
and 'D a D' was the boy you were gonna marry?
when your W0RST ENEMiES were your siblings
and rAcE iSsuEs were about who ran fastest?
when - WAR- was a card game
and life was simple and care free?
and when dRaMa was someone StEaLiNg your cRaYoNs?
remember when all you wanted to do
WAS GROW UP?

Why I’m Stupid:

] You can’t Tie my shoes.
[x] You like a guy/girl for no reason.
] You sniff everything
[x] You’ve pissed off a Bee
] You’ve had an ‘accident’
[x] You’ve bitten someone
] You didn’t know Twinkle Twinkle Little Star and The Alphabet had the same tune
] You’ve gotten Lemon Juice in my eyes, with your Lemon
[x] You’ve failed a test or quiz

Why I’m Cool:
[x] You say Rawr. Frequently.
] You own aviators
[x] You like to Party
] You wear in style clothes
[x] You take an activity out of school.
[x] You’ve been in a Boat
[x] You Smile. ALOT.
[x] You have stuck your tongue out at someone
] You’ve Stuck Gum to the bottom of a desk or table.
] You can ski or Snowboard

Your Favorite Colors:
1. Red
2. BLACK
3. Purple
4. Green
5. Blue

My...

Shoe Size: Children's 4
Height: 5 foot 1 inch
Homeroom: Incontrera
Favorite Clothing Brand: Hot Topic
Favorite Celebrity: Alex Gaskarth

Finish these with the FIRST thing that comes to your mind.
The Cow said Moo and: RAWR!
It’s Raining: Dance time!
Let’s talk about: meat loaf?
Georgie Porgie: who the hell is he?
Random Bits And Bites: VAMPIRE!

What Color is your Underwear: >.> pfft. You don't need to know that. Purple.
Where are you: my room
The Color of your Bedroom Walls: white... but you can’t see them, they are covered in posters
Take Reflection Pictures: nah
Like Your Hair: A little.
Your Opinion on Blue Fuzzy Boots: ew
Did You Ever Like the Song “Low”: no
You Paint Your Nails This Color: red and black
Grade: 9
You Can Beatbox: haha no
Your Ringtone: vibrate
Favorite Drink: Vanilla Milkshake =)
Think Zac Efron’s Cool: NO
Favorite Flower: White Roses (Pretty but oddly fill me with fear. PRESIDENT SNOW IS OUT TO GET ME!) Primrose, and Rue
Do You Like Snoopy: sure
Favorite Pastime T.V Show: Vampire Diaries
Virgin: yes
Can You Do a Cartwheel: yes.
Ever thought of Killing Someone: all the time
Ever Tasted a Sock: no?

You Have :
[x] A Computer
[x] A Laptop
[x] A Camera
[x] A Cell Phone
[x] An iPod/mp3 player
[x] Your Own Bedroom
]Your Own Bathroom
[x] More than 2 Siblings
[x] Lots of Homework
] An Article of Clothing from Abercrombie
] A Boyfriend/ Girlfriend
[x] An Instrument
[x] Biological Parents
] A Life
] A Car

And now... for this random and awesome thing I found on someone else's page. If you hate stereotypes and think that they shouldn’t exist, copy this onto your page.

STEREO TYPES!

I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.
I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.
I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz
I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.
I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.
I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.
I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell.
I'm a CHRISTAN, so I MUST think gay people should go to hell.
I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.
I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world.
I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals.
I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.
I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.
I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.
I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.
I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.
I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.
I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore.
I'm a DANCER, So I MUST be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I MUST be a slut.
I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a Goth or emo.
I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.
I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.
I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.
I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.
I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals.
I'm ITALIAN, so I MUST have a "big one".
I'm EGYPTIAN, so I MUST be a TERRORIST!
I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.
I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.
I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.
I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.
I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be a player.
I have big BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.
I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.
I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and that’s how Russians roll.
I'm GERMAN, so I MUST be a Nazi.
I hang out with GAYS, so I MUST be GAY TOO.
I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.
I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited.
I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy.
I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas.
I'm a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction.
I'm a VIRGIN so I MUST be prude.
I'm STRAIGHT EDGE so I MUST be violent.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.
I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.
I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.
I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly. I'm a SKATER so I MUST do weed and steal stuff.
I'm a PUNK so I MUST only wear black and date only other punks.
I'm ASIAN so I MUST be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7.
I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals.
I'm MIXED so I MUST be screwed up.
I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist
I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.
I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA.
I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect.
I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black.
I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil.
I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.
I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.
I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.
I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.
I'm on a DANCE team, so I MUST be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.
I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.
I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.
I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon.
I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot.
I'm an ASIAN GUY, so I MUST have a small penis.
I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay.
I'm a PREP, so I MUST be rich.
I don't like the SUN so I MUST be an albino.
I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.
I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.
I couldn't hurt a FLY, So I MUST be a pussy.
I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone.
I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too.
I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.
I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.
I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.
I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.
My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.
I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch.

I'm a NUDIST, so I MUST want everyone to see my boobs.
I read Comics, so I MUST be a loser.
I go to a PRIVATE SCHOOL so I must be rich and snooty.

I hang out with a FORMER SLUT so I MUST be a whore myself.
I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse.
I’m a CROSSDRESSER, so I MUST be homosexual.
I draw ANIME so I MUST be a freak.
I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.
I WATCH PORN so I MUST be perverted.
I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled.
I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak
I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.
I'm WELSH so I MUST love sheep.

I'm SCOTTISH so I MUST have ginger hair and wear a skirt
I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.
I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend.
I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers.
I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare.
I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth.
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.
I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.
I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE.
I'm an ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and is A MURDERER!
I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth.
I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future. I don't like YAOI or YURI, so I MUST be a HOMOPHOBE.
I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser.
I care about the ENVIRONMENT so I MUST be a tree hugging hippy.
I CHAT, so I MUST be having cyber sex.
I'm PAGAN so I MUST sacrifice babies and drink the blood of virgins.
I'm PAGAN so I MUST worship Satan.
I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion.
I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blond blue-eyed lesbian.
I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see.
I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE.
I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.
I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED.
I am WICCAN, so I MUST be a SATANIST.
I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.
I am a WITCH, so I MUST be and OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick.
I love SLASH, so I MUST be GAY.
I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELLED.
I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast.
I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish. I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE.
I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard.
I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean.
I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid.
I'm Australian so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroo’s.
I go to RENFAIRES, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up with the times.
I’m GAY so I’m after EVERY straight guy around.
I don’t want a BOYFRIEND so I MUST be Lesbian.
I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting.
I love marching band, so I MUST be a friendless freak.
I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life.
I am friends with a CUTTER, so I MUST be a CUTTER too.
I cry easily, so I MUST be a wimp
I can't help pointing out mistakes so I MUST be an over-controlling perfectionist.
I'm a PERFECTIONIST so I MUST check everything ten times, then burst into tears at one mistake.
I DON’T LIKE to talk about my personal life so I MUST be having problems.
I like FIRE so I MUST be an arsonist.
I'm a CUTTER so I MUST want to commit SUICIDE.
I have been to THERAPY so I MUST be crazy.
I have been ABUSED, so I MUST be an abuser

If this was all true, I’d be a bitchy, lesbian, emo, anorexic, ditzy, arsonist that cuts myself and who must be having problems in my life and tears up every time I see a mistake because I’m an over-controlling perfectionist that is evil and has no morals and therefore will go to Hell and is a wimpy vampire that needs to be converted to Christianity because I’m a loser who talks funny and isn’t caught up to times (Probably because I’m a vampire). I’d also be a childish, irresponsible pedantic bastard who is a wrong and misguided loner, which therefore makes me a homophobic terrorist that is a tree hugging hippy that is having cyber-sex and is against abortion and is the reason for everything that has gone wrong in the world. I must be a weak obese, loud-mouthed, arrogant, crazy, over-obsessed stalker who has a problem with my sexuality and wants to castrate every man alive. I must be an over-controlling bitch who is crazy and anti-social because I drink and smoke and I must fit in with everyone since I’m a naive albino pussy who thinks I’m black and loves to drink and party and I must shun anyone who doesn’t wear Abercrombie and Hollister. I must be a fat ugly girl who is a prude and a poser that is homosexual and looking for attention because I must be a player with no social life who fucks all my guy friends, which makes no sense because I’m apparently a lesbian. I must be a gothic slut who is a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend and isn’t a virgin because I’m a stupid, stuck up whore. Because all of that totally makes sense, right? NO IT FUCKING DOESN’T MAKE SENSE! STEREOTYPES SHOULDN’T FUCKING EXIST! Just saying.

Friends or best friends

FRIENDS: never ask anything to eat or drink

BEST FRIENDS: Help themselves and is the reason you never have any food

FREINDS: Call your parents Mr. Mrs. and grandma and grandpa

BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents MOM and DAD GRAMS and GRAMPS

FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail

BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you saying' "That was fun, let's do that again."

FRIENDS: Never seen you cry

BEST FRIENDS: Won’t tell anyone else you cry... just laugh about it when you’re not down anymore

FRIENDS: Ask you to write down you number

BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial

FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff and gives it back a few days later

BEST FRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you, "my bad .. here’s a tissue"

FRIENDS: Knows only a few things about you

BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography about your life

FREINDS: Will leave you behind if that’s what everyone else is doing

BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds butts that left you

FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door

BEST FRIENDS: Would walk right in and say,” I’M HOME"

FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell

BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell

FRIENDS: Are through high school /college (drinking buddies)

BEST FRIENDS: Are for life

FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away when they think you've had enough

BEST FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place and say,” Girl drink the rest of that you know we don't waste

FRIENDS: Will help you move a body

BEST FRIENDS: Will say "call me when you need a shovel."

FRIENDS: Try to help you when you get hurt

BEST FRIENDS: Sit there laughing their butt of saying, "Dude, you're an idiot!"

FRIENDS: Will comfort you when they turn you down

BEST FRIENDS: Will go up to them and say, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"

FRIENDS: Ask why you’re crying

BEST FRIENDS: Already have a shovel ready to bury the loser that made you cry

FRIENDS: Lend you their umbrella

BEST FRIENDS: Take yours and say 'RUN LiKE THE WIND!!

For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you start dancing in Wal-Mart to it's cheesy music. Crazy is when you laugh uncontrollably at your own jokes. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what is so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour-long sob fest, and then start singing and dancing when your favorite song comes on. Crazy is when you do or say a completely random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" Crazy is when you have a thumb war with yourself. Crazy is when you type up all your favorite sayings, print them off and tape them to your wall, just for something to do. Crazy is when you laugh when nothing's funny. Crazy is when you crack up if someone says "Oatmeal!” Crazy is when you forget what you're saying in the middle of a sentence. Crazy is when you take the time to write down stuff like this and memorize it. Crazy is when you memorized every single line of the Harry Potter series. Crazy is when your so obsessed with CSI that you bang on the T.V. every now and then to see if Grissom will come out . Crazy is when you’re going through this as a checklist. Crazy is when you quote Charlie the Unicorn at random moments. Crazy is when you eat twenty pixie sticks in one day. Crazy is when your crazy. Crazy is when start talking nonsense everyday during gym. Crazy is when you convince your friends your 'high' because you can't stop laughing even when nothing is funny. And then all of you convince the nearest adult that you're having a breakdown. Crazy is when you trip up the stairs, and laugh all the way back down them. When you go to look at cats and can't stop. Crazy is when your binder of Spanish vocabulary words gets so big and thick that you title it Harry Potter and the Spanish Vocabulary. Crazy is when you doze off playing your virtual iPod in your head and are snapped out of it when I friend asks you why your wiggling to what seems like a beat. Crazy is when you stand on the street corner dressed in snazzy costumes and sing the Lollipop song at the top of your lungs while waving at random cars as they drive by. Crazy is when you fall out of bed and then ask the floor if it's OK. Crazy is when you memorize the complete biographies and physical traits of every character in Twilight (or almost, at least). Crazy is when you write Jasper Hale is hot on your homework instead of doing it. Crazy is when you try to make up the twilight characters signatures. Crazy is when you go on a sugar high when you haven't eaten anything sugary all day. Crazy is when someone knocks you flat on your back and your the one who gets up laughing. Crazy is when you draw shoes on your revision paper when you're supposed to be revising. Crazy is when you scream when the toaster pops after watching something kind of scary. Crazy is when you start having illusions after playing Guitar Hero for hours with your cousin. Crazy is when you get drunk with soda. Crazy is when you count the number of steps you take while walking. Crazy is when you've done all of these things. Crazy is when you suddenly forget what you were going to do. Crazy is when you don't noticed something that is right in front of your eyes. Crazy is when you suddenly decide to hit someone and laugh when he/she yells. Crazy is when you become obsessed with every single book you read. Crazy is when you stay up until 3:00 in the morning reading. Crazy is when all you can think about is Harry Potter. Crazy is when you stay up all night using Paint to "edit" some wings onto a picture of you so you look somewhat like Maximum Ride. Crazy is when you stare at a door for eight minutes, at the house you've lived in for a year trying to figure out if it is a push or pull door. Crazy is when you stare at a paper trying to remember how to spell your name, even though you are a teenager. If you're crazy, copy this onto your profile and add something crazy you've done to the list!

More Random Shit :D

Are you left handed or right handed? — Right Handed
Are you smart? — I'm... pretty smart lol
What’s your middle name? — ...Why do you wanna know? >.>
How many personalities do you have? — A few. I've never tried to count them. I'm going to say somewhere between 7 and 13
How many piercings do you have? — My ears are pierced.
Tattoos? — Possibly one in the future... only a small one though. I don't have one now.
Are you superstitious? — A little
Can you do a cartwheel? — Somewhat.
Do you have bangs? — Yeah! :D
Do you have contact lenses? — nope
Can you drive? — No... unfortunately. Even on Mars I'm not allowed to drive XD
Do you snore? — Possibly...
Do you drool in your sleep? — Why do you want to know so much about what I do in my sleep?
Do you lick your envelopes or use a sponge? —Lick them
Do you like cotton candy? —Yes! I love cotton candy What do you sleep in? — Seriously? A little bit of an awkward question... I sleep in... Clothes! I know, it's hard to believe.
What’s your bedtime? — Whenever I want it to be.
Do you like to dance? — Yeah I do :D
Do you like to sing? — Yeah, but I'm not very good.
How many cds do you have? — 21. Most my music is from I tunes...
Do you like to talk on the phone? — I usually text people, but talking on the phone is alright...
How many times have you moved houses? — I don't know... a lot lol
What do you think of chain letters? — They are annoying... apparently I'm going to be alone and unlucky for the rest of my life, and I should have been killed by a little girl a while ago. XD
Do you like where you live? — Yeah.
Is your room messy? — Yes it is.
Do you like your writing? — its ok...
Do you like to finger-paint? — its fun but I rarely ever finger-paint.
Are you organized? — Nope!
Do you sleep with socks on? — Again with the sleeping questions! Anyway, no I don't.
Are you ticklish? YES! I'm like... the most ticklish person You'll ever meet.
Are you shy? — Somewhat...
Did you go to preschool? — I went to preschool twice lol
Are you a morning person? — No
Do you believe in ghosts? —Yeah, they are the voices I hear when I'm alone... right?
Do you believe in bigfoot? — Yep.
What's your favorite feature (on yourself)?— My eyes are pretty I guess. I don't really have one.
How old do you wish you were? — I like being 13. :D
What will you name your daughter? — I've always liked the names Willow, Alice, Cosette, Azlynn, Lola, Scarlett, Sabine... I don't know yet, but I like unique names.
Son? — I have no idea...
Have you ever thought you were gonna die? — Once. I almost got hit by a car when I was six. It barely stopped in time. I swear I thought I was gonna die,
Where do you wanna go? — I wanna visit Australia.
Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend? — Nope.

ABOUT ME:
Appearance
[X] I am shorter than 5'4.
[X] I think I'm ugly sometimes.
[X] I have a few scars.
] I tan easily.
] I wish my hair was a different color.
] I have friends who have never seen my natural hair color.
] I have a tattoo.
[X] I am self-conscious about my appearance.
[X] I have/I've had braces.
] I wear glasses.
] I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free.
[X] I've been told I'm attractive by a complete stranger.
] I have more than 2 piercings.
] I have piercings in places besides my ears.
] I have freckles.

Family/Home Life
[X] I've sworn at my parents.
[X] I've run away from home.
] I've been kicked out of the house.
] My biological parents are together.
] I have a sibling less than one year old.
] I want to have kids someday.
] I've had children.
] I've lost a child.

School/Work
[X] I'm in school.
] I have a job.
[X] I've fallen asleep at work/school.
[X] I almost always do my homework.
[X] I've missed a week or more of school.
[X] I've been on the Honor Roll within the last 2 years.
] I failed more than 1 class last year.
] I've stolen something from my job
] I've been fired.

Embarrassment
] I've slipped out a "lol" in a spoken conversation.
] Disney movies still make me cry.
] I've peed from laughing.
[X] I've snorted while laughing.
[X] I've laughed so hard I've cried.
[X] I've glued my hand to something.
[X] I've laughed till some kind of beverage came out of my nose.
[X] I've had my pants rip in public.

Health
] I was born with a disease/impairment.
[X] I've gotten stitches/staples.
] I've broken a bone.
] I've had my tonsils removed.
] I've sat in a doctor’s office/emergency room with a friend.
] I've had my wisdom teeth removed.
] I had a serious surgery.
] I've had chicken pox.

Traveling
[X] I've driven over 200 miles in one day.
[X] I've been on a plane.
] I've been to Canada.
] I've been to Mexico.
[X] I've been to Niagara Falls.
[ ] I've been to Japan.
[ ] I've Celebrated Mardi Gras in New Orleans.
[ ] I've been to Europe.
[ ] I've been to Africa.

Experiences
[X] I've gotten lost in my city.
] I've seen a shooting star.
] I've wished on a shooting star.
[X] I've seen a meteor shower.
[X] I've gone out in public in my pajamas.
[X] I've pushed all the buttons on an elevator
[X] I've kicked a guy where it hurts.
] I've been to a casino.
] I've been skydiving.
] I've gone skinny dipping.
[X] I've played spin the bottle.
] I've drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour.
] I've crashed a car.
] I've been skiing
[X] I've been in a play.
] I've met someone in person from MySpace.
[X] I've caught a snowflake on my tongue.
] I've seen the Northern Lights.
[X] I've sat on a roof top at night.
[X] I've played chicken.
[X] I've played a prank on someone.
[X] I've ridden in a taxi.
] I've seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show.
] I've eaten sushi.
] I've been snowboarding.

Relationships
[X] I'm single
] I'm in a relationship.
[ ] I'm engaged.
[ ] I'm married
] I've gone on a blind date.
] I've been the dumpee more than the dumper.
[X] I miss someone right now.
] I have a fear of abandonment.
[ ] I've gotten divorced
[X] I've had feelings for someone who didn't have them back.
[X] I've told someone I loved them when I didn't.
[X] I've told someone I didn't love them when I did.
] I've kept something from a past relationship.

Sexuality
[X] I've had a crush on someone of the same sex.
] I've had a crush on a teacher.
[X] I am a cuddler.
] I've been kissed in the rain.
] Have mostly guy friends.
[X] I've hugged a stranger.
] I have kissed a stranger.
] I've lost my virginity as a teenager.
] Love to flirt.

Honesty/Crime
[X] I've done something I promised someone else I wouldn't
[X] I've done something I promised myself I wouldn't.
[X] I've snuck out of my house.
[X] I have lied to my parents about where I am.
[X] I am keeping a secret from the world
[X] I've cheated while playing a game.
[X] I've cheated on a test.
] I've run a red light.
] I've been suspended from school.
] I've witnessed a crime.
] I've been in a fist fight.
] I've been arrested.

Death and Suicide
] I'm afraid of dying.
[X] I hate funerals.
[X] I've seen someone dying.
] Someone close to me has attempted suicide.
] Someone close to me has committed suicide.
X] I've planned my own suicide.
X] I've attempted suicide.
] I've written a eulogy for myself.

Materialism
] I own over 5 rap CDs.
[X] I own an iPod or MP3 player.
] I have an unhealthy obsession with anime/manga.
] I own multiple designer purses, costing over $100 a piece.
[X] I own something from Hot Topic.
] I own something from Pac Sun.
] I collect comic books
] I own something from The Gap.
[X] I own something I got on e-bay.
] I own something from Abercrombie.

Random
] I can sing well.
] I've stolen a tray from a fast food restaurant.
x] I open up to others easily.
] I watch the news.
] I don't kill bugs.
[X] I hate hearing songs that sacrifice meaning for the sake of being able to rhyme.
[X] I curse regularly.
[X] I sing in the shower.
] I am a morning person.
] I paid for my cell phone ring tone.
x] I'm a snob about grammar.
] I am a sports fanatic.
[X] I twirl my hair
] I have "x"s in my screen name
] I love being neat
] I love Spam
] I've copied more than 30 CD's in a day
[X] I bake well
[X] My favorite color is either white, yellow, pink, red or blue
[X] I've worn pajamas to school
] I like Martha Stewart.
] I know how to shoot a gun.
] I am in love with love.
] I am guilty of tYpInG lIkE tHiS.
[X] I laugh at my own jokes.
[X] I eat fast food weekly.
[X] I believe in ghosts.
] I am online 24/7, even as an away message.
X] I've not turned anything in and still got an A in a certain class.
] I can't sleep if there is a spider in the room.
[X] I am really ticklish.
[X] I love white chocolate
] I bite my nails.
[X] I play video games.
[X] I'm good at remembering faces.
] I'm good at remembering names
] I'm good at remembering dates.
[X] I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life.

YOUR GUY SIDE

You love hoodies.
You love jeans.

Dogs are better than cats.
Its hilarious when people get hurt
You've played with/against boys on a team

Shopping is torture.
Sad movies suck.
You own/ed an XBox
Played with Hotwheel cars as a kid
At some point in time you wanted to be a firefighter.
You own/ed a DS, PS2 or Sega.

You used to be obsessed with Power Rangers.
You watch sports on TV.
Gory movies are cool.
You go to your dad for advice

You own like a trillion baseball caps.
You like going to high school football games.
You used to/do collect baseball/football cards.
Baggy pants are cool to wear.
Its kinda weird to have sleepovers with a bunch of people.
Green, black, blue, red, or silver are one of your favorite colors.
You love to go crazy and not care what people think.
Sports are fun.
Talk with food in your mouth.

Sleep with your socks on at night.

Total: 15

YOUR GIRL SIDE

You wear lip gloss/chapstick.
You love to shop.

You wear eyeliner.
You wear the color pink.
Go to your mom for advice.

You consider cheerleading a sport.
You hate wearing the color black.
You like hanging out at the mall.
You like getting manicures and/or pedicures.

You like wearing jewelry.
Skirts are a big part of your wardrobe.
Shopping is one of your favorite hobbies.
You don't like the movie Star Wars.
You were in gymnastics/dance.

It takes you around/more than one hour to shower, get dressed, and make-up.
You smile a lot more than you should.
You have more than 10 pairs of shoes.
You care about what you look like.
You like wearing dresses when you can.
You like wearing body spray/perfume/cologne.
You love the movies.
Used to play with dolls as a little kid.

Like putting make-up on someone else for the joy/joke of it.
Like being the star of everything.

Total: 14

PREP

You own a cell phone
You own something from Abercrombie

You own something from Pac sun.
You own something from Hollister.
You own something from American eagle.
You love/like going to the mall.
You own an iPod/MP3 player.

You love Starbucks.
You have been called a brat.
You hate buying things that are on sale.
You have more than one house.

Total: 4

GOTHIC

Black is one of your favorite colors.
You have thought about death.

You wear chains.
You like heavy metal.
You’ve shopped at Hot Topic.
You have worn black lipstick.

Your hair was/is dark.
You dislike preps.
You’re an atheist/ Satanist/agnostic.

Total: 6

PUNK

You can skateboard
You’ve worn plaid.
You like Converse.
You hate MTV.

You have/had blue, pink, red, purple, or green hair.
You dislike pink.
You hate/dislike preps.
You wear/wore skateboarding shoes.

Total: 4

GEEK

You love the computer.
You like Harry Potter.
You are supposed to wear glasses/contacts.
You get straight A's.
You love/like reading.
You were/are in band.

You don't care what you look like.
You have a curfew.
You like homework.
You never miss school unless you're sick.

Total: 5

ATHLETIC

You watch/watched the Super bowl.
You own track shoes or other sports related shoes.
You collect your jerseys.

You have a wall or shelf dedicated to your trophies / awards.
You have posters or plaques of famous athletes.
Your garage consists of sports equipment.
You belong/belonged to a school team.
You are going/did go to a sports summer camp.
You have a specific number.

Total: 5

HARDCORE/SCENE

You like loud music.
You love/loved the Ninja Turtles.
You never walk anywhere.
You wear slip-on shoes.
You like the band Panic! At the disco.
You wear band t-shirts.
People have called you a freak and meant it.

You love to "hardcore" dance.
Hair has been died more than 1 color

Total: 4

FEMALE COMEBACKS!!

Pick up line comebacks, add to it

Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: Hiding from you.

Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.

Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.

Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator

Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.

Man: Your eyes they're amazing.
Woman: Seeing your back would be pretty amazing.

Man: So, where do you live?
Woman: 1234 Not-Gonna-Happen Lane

Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and I together
Woman: Really, I'd put f and u together

How to annoy people at school

1.Put on a fake mustache, go up to your best friends crush & say,” MY DAUGHTER WAS WEARING PINK & NOW SHE'S WEARING BLACK BECAUSE OF YOU!"

2.If there's a pep rally at your school & if there's a boy cheerleader there yell "THAT GUYS A MAN WOMAN!"

3.Stand up on a table at your school library & yell "BOOKS RULE!"

4.After a school play hold a kleanex to your eye & say,"Oh...that was so beautiful!"

5.When your in the bathroom put toilet paper on the floor & when the janitor tries to pick it up come out of the stall & say,"NO!MINE!"

HOW TO TRASH TALK

1.If someone says "Your not the boss of me!" say "Never said I was c-can u hear me???Do you need hearing aids Grandpa?"

2.If someone says"Shut your mouth before I shut it for u!" say "Oh pleaze!U couldn't do it if I gave u duck-tape."

3.If someone says"Stop or I'll beat the crud outta u!" say "I bet u couldn't even hit a frikin piata."

4.If someone says"Ur just jealous cause I have a gf/bf."say"Why am I jeaulous?Ur bf/gf is probably blind cause she/he probably hasn't seen u yet."

WHATS UR STYLE QUIZ

Q1.This is random:Hello!

A.Heeeeyyy (me:ok then...)

B.Tee-hee hi

C.Yo!

D.Sup bro ;)

E.Hello

Q2.If a guy started flirting with you you would...?

A.Say,"U r so cute!"

B.Say,"God u r so sweet!!!!"

C.Slap him

D.Say,"I'm too busy for a bf.Sorry."

E.Say,"Wanna come study with me in the library?"

Q3.What's your favorite color?

A.Pink duuuuuh!

B.Yellow/gold

C.Black or Red

D.The colors of my favorite sports team

E. My school colors

Q4.Your favorite type of movie is?

A.Chick flick/romance

B.Comedy

C.Action

D.Anything with sports

E.Biography

IF U HAVE...

Mostly As...ur a girly girl.U like the colors pink & purple & enjoy shopping & romance

Mostly Bs...ur a peppy.Ur always happy & loves making others feel good about themselves

Mostly Cs...ur a gothic dude.U like the colors red black & grey.& u don't care about others much

Mostly Ds...ur a sporty jock.U love duh sports ur an awesome athlete.

Mostly Es...ur a preppy.U love school & learning & ur very smart

YOU KNOW YOU'RE AN AUTHOR IF...

You talk to yourself a lot.
You talk to yourself about talking to yourself. (e.g. 'Why do I constantly ask my self random things?')

When you talk to yourself you often talk to yourself like you're talking to someone else. (e.g. 'Have you ever noticed that deliver could mean someones liver?')
After uttering a profound peice of wisdom like that above, you stare at the cookie in your hand with awe and say, 'Holy crap, this stuff is great for sugar highs...'
You live off of sugar and caffeine (the two greatest things ever discovered!)
You'll check your e-mail every day of the week and then disappear off the face of the earth.
You're e-mails tend to be pages long and incredibly random.
When replying to an e-mail, you'll never actually address the point of it.
You tend to collect Big Sticks off the ground like picking pennies off the ground.
No matter where you are in a room you never have to get up to find a pen/pencil and paper.
The letters on your keyboard are wearing off.
Your friends and family think that you have carpal tunnel syndrome.
People think you have A.D.D.(A.D.H.D)
You think it'd be cool to have A.D.D.(A.D.H.D)
You constantly start talking in third person, present or past tense.
You start thinking about making lists like this and start giggling for no "apparent" reason
Your friends stopped looking at you funny for no apparent reason a loooooong time ago.

And FINALLY, the one way to tell if you're a good writer: You failed English 101

Differences between Friends and Best Friends...

FRIENDS: Help you find your prince...

BEST FRIENDS: Kidnap him and bring him to you...

FRIENDS: Will ask you if you're okay when you're crying...

BEST FRIENDS: Already have the shovel to bury the body of the person that made you cry...

FRIENDS: Will pass you a soda...

BEST FRIENDS: Will dump theirs on you...

FRIENDS: Give their umbrella to you in the rain...

BEST FRIENDS: Takes yours and run...

FRIENDS: Will help you move...

BEST FRIENDS: Will help you move the bodies...

FRIENDS: Will bail you out of jail...

BEST FRIENDS: Would be in the cell with you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!"

FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink...

BEST FRIENDS: Are the reason you have no food...

FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa...

BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!

FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry...

BEST FRIENDS: Won't tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore...

FRIENDS: Ask you to write down your number...

BEST FRIENDS: Have you on speed dial...

FRIENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back...

BEST FRIENDS: Lose your stuff and tell you, "My bad...here's a tissue..."

FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you...

BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...

FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing...

BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds' a* that left you...

FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door...

BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say, "I'M HOME!"

FRIENDS: Ask for a tissue...

BEST FRIENDS: Use your shirt as a tissue...

FRIENDS: Ask to sleep over...

BEST FRIENDS: Already have their clothes packed...

FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone...

BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell...

Random Book, TV Show and Movie Quotes!

"And...and me. I want you to come back for me."

"My home is with you guys."

"You know, you can never make a basketball go in if you're angry."

"He is a one-way monkey...oh no, he's a one-trick pony. That's what I meant."

"Ah, but tomorrow, today will be yesterday."

"We are stupid and fickle beings with a knack for self-destruction."

"Its a...giant mushroom. Maybe it's friendly!"

"Each one of us has to take responsibility for reality, and present so that kids will grow up familiar with that and say OK, I've seen that before, I'm not afraid of it."

"Red is the perfect one, Black is the brooding bad boy, Green is the clown, and Yellow, well, she's the girl. So who are you supposed to be? I'm Scottish!"

"I'm gonna go kill myself in the bathroom. See you guys in the morning."

"You're so beautiful when you hate the world."

"Love was not put in your heart to stay. Love isn't love until you give it away."

"Why am I so bad at being good?"

"It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live."

"I'm all out of peanuts, but I got some toast. You want some? It's buttery!"

"You like waffles, don't you? More than life itself.”

"But you see, the word alone is not enough."

"Evil beware. We have waffles!"

"You never know how strong you are, until being strong is the only choice you have."

"You sort of start thinking anything’s possible if you’ve got enough nerve."

"You digging the scene? I was not aware we were supposed to bring shovels."

"This is either madness or brilliance. It's remarkable how those two seem to always clash."

"How much for a chocolate boyfriend?"

"I am too outraged. This pie is too small!"

"Remember, if the time should come when you have to make a choice between what is right, and what is easy, remember what happened to a boy who was good, and kind, and brave, because he strayed across the path of Lord Voldemort."

What to do in the movies:

1.Try to start a wave

2. Gasp every time there is a swear word.

3. Wear a huge Afro wig.

4. Every 15 minutes stand up and then sit back down.

5. Yell out to the screen “Don’t Do It!”

6. If there is a love scene, reach over in front of you and cover a random person’s eyes.

7. Stand in front of the screen motionless and face the audience the entire movie.

8. Scalp tickets outside the theater.

9. If a catchy song plays in the movie stand up and dance.

10. Bring an attachable seat-belt. Strap it to your seat and then clip it on yourself. Turn to the person next to you and say, "you never know".

11. Talk really loud on your cell phone.

12. Demand that somebody puts the volume up.

13. Sit at the back, raise your arms to the projector and make shadow puppets on the screen.

14. Bring a laser pen and shoot it at the screen.

15. Wear 3D glasses…no matter what the movie is.

16. Every time something crazy happens, turn to a random person and say, “did you see that?!”

17. Sit criss cross on the floor in the very front of the theater and look up at the screen.

18. Stand in the front corner facing the audience and do sign language translations.

19. Do the same thing stated above (#18) except translate the movie into Spanish for the audience.

20. As people enter the theater, make nametags for them.

21. After the movie go back to the ticket counter and demand a refund because the movie was terrible. Whether or not they give you a refund, buy another ticket for the same movie at a later showing.

22. Half way through the movie run down to the screen, touch it, and then run back to your seat
yelling, “I touched the screen! I touched the screen!”

23. Repeat the lines in the movie.

24. Accuse the person behind you of kicking your seat. Constantly demand that they stop even though they aren’t really kicking your seat.

25. Tape “reserved” signs on every single seat before the movie starts.

26. Get a large group of people and act out a wedding scene. (As if a couple were getting married in the theater) Make sure everyone is in costume, and that there is a bride, groom, priest, bridesmaids, best man, etc. Use the theater aisle as if it were a Church aisle and have a bride walk down to meet the groom standing at the front. Act out the entire scene as if they actually were getting married.

27. Sneak in chickens (find a way) then let them run around freely during the movie.

28. Laugh extremely loud at a line that wasn’t meant to be funny.

29. Wear a white sheet over yourself and cut holes for eyes (like a ghost) then creepily walk around with your arms out chanting “OOOoooOOOOO I am the ghost of the theater! ooooOOOOOooooOOOO!”

30. Ask the person who sells you the ticket to give you his/her autograph

31. Ask for a discount because you are single and entering alone

32. Wear sunglasses and a white cane and ask them how a blind person would be accommodated.

33. Bargain with the ticket price

34. Turn around to the person behind you and say, “Excuse me, can you please kick my seat? Thanks.” Once they start kicking your seat yell “HARDER! HARDER!”

35. Every so often, do an awkward moan.

36. Get the entire theater to sing happy birthday to a random person.

37. Every 10 minutes pretend something has impacted your life. Put your hand on your chest. Gasp, and as you nod your head look at the person next to you and say ”mmmmmmm!”

38. Stare at a random person next to you the entire time.

39. When buying your ticket, ask to pay half the price because you will be leaving half way through the movie.

40. Half way through the movie stand up and yell “DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS!?” and then run off.

41. Ask a random person next to you to explain the movie because you don’t get it.

42. Ask a random person to go buy you popcorn because you don’t want to miss the movie.

43. Before the movie starts get everyone to bow their heads as you lead them in prayer. Pray for the movie. While praying, extend your hands towards the screen.

44. Stand up in the middle of the movie and start a head count.

45. Run up and down the aisles making rocket ship noises

46. Eat the popcorn from a random person sitting next to you.

47. Yell out loud demanding that they pause the movie because you need to use the bathroom.

48. When something is really funny, don’t laugh, instead point at the screen and scream: “L-O-L L-O-L L-O-L!!”

49. Blow your nose into a tissue and then show the contents of the tissue to a random person sitting next to you saying, “Look what I did!”

50. As the credits roll and people start to leave yell, “No! Everyone! Don’t Go! There is Something After the Credits!” After the credits roll and there is nothing say “Just Kidding!” Then run out giggling.

100 things to do at McDonalds

1. yell MCDONALDS USES dead chicken in there nuggets

2. Say the gum on under the tables taste better than their food

3. Attack the guy in the Ronald costume.

4.ask if you can have the wendys single

5. Say macdonldscks

6. Yell out loud, "This aggression shall not stand!"

7. Ask where the burger king is.

8. Get a Togekiss to use Aura Sphere.

9. Have a contest in which the person who eats the most salt packets in 5 minutes is declared the winner.

10. Cry for no reason at all, as if that was your raison d'etre.

11. scream "The burgers are road kill"

12. You punch the manager of McDonald's in the face because he failed to give you a Happy Meal with Extra Happy.

13:Order a quad cheese and chicken burger extra,extra,extra crispy and 12 packets of ketchup and then say"Nah Make a ¡nother one thats a bit less crispy"

14. Start a food fight!!!

15. Go up to a ronald mcdonald statue and scream "THIS CLOWN HAS A GUN RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!!!!"

16. Make an announcement in the store (during rush-hour) and scream "THE BURGERS ARE MADE FROM HUMAN FLESH! RUN BEFORE YOU BECOME FOOD!"

17. Ask for a Whopper

18. Say you'd like a (insert a Sonic drink name besides coke and all that, here)

19. Take a taste of their lemonade, gag , and yell "THIS ISN'T LEMONADE! IT'S DOG PE--" *dragged away by cops*

20. Ask for an extra toy 'cause your dog is hungry.

21. Go up to a little kid and say I HATE UR LITTLE GUTS IM GONNA BEAT YOU UP HUH!!!!DO YOU LIKE THAT!!! DO YOU LIKE THAT!!!! WHAT NOW!!!!
chances are the kid will cry and you will be lawed out of all fast food shops in the universe and have to keep a 39814264189274612789461823796 kilometers from children at all times

22. Hey can I use the Ronald McDonald manaquin? He looks like a plunger and my toilets clogged so...

23. Make Ed become a Woodpecker to squish the burgers.

24. Tell Rolf that they use his property as food and tell him to get revenge.

25. Ask the counter guy for his heart bake on his nose tomorrow

26. walk in and say I LOVE MYSELF!!and start huging yourself and rolling on the floor.

27. A new burger king theme is out and you are in McDonalds with your mobile playing the song and then saying that you love it.

28. Thinking that the grill is your couch and sitting on it naked.

29. Say when they burn they're food: "It's better than anything you created in the past, present and future!"

30. Tell Eddy that they stole his money. He'll then attempt to "get it back" (you know what I mean) but then forget all about it and go there to get a whopper.

31. Bring Kirby there.

32. Bring Kirby and Meta Knight there.

33. Tell the employees that Ed makes better food.

34. Tell the manager that the fried chickens at KFC are way better.

35. Stand on a table and scream "This burger taste like dog food!".

36. Tell the employees that they are wasting their time.

37. poop on poeple

38. get a bat and kick poeple and use the bat to blow up cars!!!!

40. Smash the tip jar with a hammer and scream, "MONKEY CRAP!"

41. Yell at the guy who pours the drinks, "Stop peeing in the cups!!!"

42. Drive into the glass door with your car.

43. Run in with a rifle, tricycle, and scuba suit and say you're ready to work.

44. Run behind the counter and spit in the french fries.

45. Get behind the cash register and act like GIR.

46.Tell the manager that your dog loves the Ronald McDonald model...It reminds him of his favourite tree.

47. Take a drink of youre soda and spit it all-over the kid at the other table and say you want a refund.

48. Take Meta Knight there. He'll cut up his food. Everyone will look at him like he's got to heads. He'll say, "What? I like my food cut! So what?"

49. Take Kirby there. He'll eat up all his food, including the trash, and even go for seconds.

50. Say, "There's dead cow in this burger! Can I get another?"

51. Come into the restaurant, sit down and eat a meal from Burger King.

53. While a guy who works there is leaving to go to home, when they come out put sugar in his gas tank.

53. Go up and say to the manager "Um...what is McDonalds?"

54. Tell their burgers taste like real burgers.

55. Tell the president that McDonalds is cooking and killing cows to make them extinct.

56. Tell the manager what's the point of the building's existance if no one comes to have pleasure.

57. take a gun in and shoot the ronald staute thing then say i have saved the world from the evil clown known best as ronald mcdonald

58. Say "You spit on my burgers"

58. Dress up in a delivery guy costume and show up with a box with the McDonalds logo on it and yell to the manager: "Is this the rat poo you ordered, sir?" Really loud.

59. Say, "YOU ARE NOOBS!!!!!! YOU SHALL GET OWN3D!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

60. Yell really loudly,"THIS IS SPARTA!!!"

61. Sit on the counter, fart, then spit in the tip jar.

62. Try to get Edd to explain the ingredients of a Big Mac compared to a Krabby Patty.

63. Get Jimmy to eat a Big Mac. He'll then say, "I CAN'T DO IT! IT'S TOO TOUGH!!!"

64. Attempt to get the Kankers to destroy all of McDonald's. They'll then say, "BACK OFF, MISTER! NO ONE'S GONNA RULE THE WORLD AS LONG AS THE KANKERS ARE ALIVE!!!"

65. Slap the manager then shoot the windows apart with a gun.

66. Get on top of the counter and yell out, "Gallade, Psycho Cut!"

67. Tape this poster all over the windows: "You have FAILED! Please die"

68. Dress up like a health inspector and sy "This I would rate a F because how much dead cat and raw meat in it." While someone is eating the food you were talking about.

69.Bring the king from the CD-I game ad make him say "Miah boy" until the manager kicks the king and you out.

70.Take the meat out of the burgers and replace them with poop.

71. Go on in!...Wearing a HASMAT(sp?) suit.

72. Ask for pizza then say fine! then Ill go to Pizza hut.
Empolyee: Who needs ya!?

73. Have Sarah destroy it.

74. Have Ganon say, "YOU MUST DIE! Or else you will DIE!"

75. Go on in and say, "This isn't Burger King!"

76. Enter and then say, "Oh wrong place. Excuse me but where is Burger King? They have much better food than you ever will."

77. Blow your nose in a handkerchief in the manager's face.

78. Yell out the lyrics to "Naruto" on top of the counter.

79. Get nausious from their food.

80. Say there's alcohol in the food.

81. Say there's dead animal in the food.

82. Light the Ronald McDonald Statue on fire.

83. Order the Ed shake with a spot of your heart and Eddy fries. Here's $0.00 dollars for it.

84. kick people in the shine wal yelingthis place has horrible servise

85. Punch a customer, then get his drink at throw it at the manager's car.

86. Bring your dog without realizing that no dogs are allowed.

87. Ask for twenty whoppers.

88. Bring Donkey there.

89. Jump on the counter, roll up in a ball, then cry.

90. Spray with graffity on the McDonald's walls ''MCDONALD'S SUCKS!''

91. Have Zim enter thinking he'll rule the world.

92. Put Tom in there with Jerry.

93. Fly in there unexpectedly and yell, "DR. OCTAGONOPUS! BWAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

94. Have Jack Sparrow and Davy Jones battle in there thinking it is an arena.

95. Ask for eleventy billion (110,000,000,000) whoppers.

96. Ask for a googol number of whoppers.

97. Ask for an eternity supply of whoppers.

98. We're getting closer...

99. Almost there...

100. Say, "WE HAVE REACHED 100 WAYS TO GET KICKED OUT OF MCDONALDS!!!"

51 fun things to do at Church! :D

1.Pull aside an unruly child in a preschool Sunday School class and say: "If you're bad in here, you'll go to Hell."

2.A week beforehand, find a member of ACT-UP. Tell him the scheduled sermon is entitled "Why God Sent AIDS to Punish Homosexuals".

3.Put stray dogs in coat closets.

4.Un-tune the piano.

5.Replace the pianist's sheet music with "Stairway to Heaven".

6.Going through all the hymnals, mark song 666.

7.Find an empty seat, and ask the person next to it: "Is this seat SAVED?"

8.Toss around a giant beach ball before service, like at Grateful Dead concerts.

9.Ten minutes before it starts, find a kid in the front rows, hand him a dollar, and tell him to ask the preacher: "Would you rather be stoned or crucified?"

10.Hide copies of Hustler inside the pulpit. Point them out.

11.Start a wave.

12.Do cool things with the lighting.

13.When attendance is taken, sign on fake names like "Hugh G. Rection" and "Oliver Klozoff".

14.Wear an ankh or a new-age crystal pendant.

15.When the choir sings, roll your eyes and grumble: "Oh, Christ! Are they gonna do another SONG?"

16.Make up your own words to the songs.

17.Twenty minutes into the service, look at your watch, stand up, and say: "Oh shit. This isn't the wedding!" Run out quickly.

18.Eat dry Cap'n Crunch through the entire service.

19.If there is a crying baby, go over and tell the mother: "IF YOU DON'T SHUT THAT GODDAMN THING UP SO HELP ME GOD I'LL KILL IT!!!"

20.Dress all in black, or in camo.

21.Pierce the body of a tiny animal with stainless-steel wire. Wear it in your ear as jewelry. If you are male, wear two. Change sets for the evening service.

22.If it is an Easter service, wear a pastel jacket, tie, and matching shorts. If you are male, wear a floral-print dress instead.

23.At a church dinner, scoop up a forkful of mashed potatoes. Announce that you can see an image of Jesus.

24.Place blocks of dry ice near the air ducts. Take off your shoes and socks.

25.Hide near the baptismal pool with a block of sodium. At the first mention of "fire and brimstone", throw it in.

26.Inflate balloons, then send them off.

27.Mark places in the Bible or hymnal with religious-themed Far Side cartoons.

28.Turn in the Bible to the Ten Commandments (Exodus 20: 3-17). Draw in asterisks and write exceptions at the bottom of the page.

29.Make the sun reflect off your watch into the preacher's face.

30.Make calls to 900 numbers on the phone in the kitchen.

31.During the service, play with plastic dinosaurs. If someone asks what you're doing, tell them: "These are dinosaurs. They ruled the earth over 65 million years ago."

32.Discreetly position a number of bottle rockets on the floor. Discreetly light them.

33.Snicker every time the preacher talks about someone being stoned, especially Stephen.

34.Dip communion wafers in communion wine. Eat it and exaggerate on how good it is.

35.When they pass around the collection plate, drop in a piece of paper with Pat Robertson's MasterCard number.

36.Turn to your neighbor, whisper: "This do in remembrance of me," and lick them.

37.Fart, and have a friend shout: "Hark! An angel has spoken!"

38.Blow bubbles.

39.Fake a possession.

40.Distribute condoms.

41.Speak in tongues.

42.Ask where the nearest ashtray is.

43.Drool in the collection plate.

44.Ask someone what they think about the Book of Peleponnesians. After they tell you, inform them that there is no Book of Peleponnesians.

45.After a Catholic service, stand outside and tell Polish jokes. When someone points out that Pope John Paul II came from Poland, act embarrassed.

46.Show unusual interest in any reference to the word "Ministry".

47.At a church supper, bring a casserole with a ring or piece of a wristwatch embedded inside.

48.Overnight, have the stained-glass windows replaced with new ones depicting comical, erotic, or death-related imagery. Send the bill to the pastor.

49.Write on the bathroom wall: "The eyes of the LORD are upon you!!!"

50.Spread the word that there'll be a rave party at the address of the church next Saturday at midnight.

51:(I made this one up) While sitting in your seat,waiting for mass to start scream,"I'M HUNGRY FEED ME JESUS!".

Fun things to do on an airplane!

1. Hit the stewardess button and tell her that your friend next to you is having a baby. Have your friend make all sorts of noises. (Works especially well, if your friend is a guy)

2. Take the telephone out of its holder and attempt to strangle the person sitting in front of you.

3. Hit the stewardess button as many times as possible and when she comes, blame it on your stuffed animal. Say he gets hyperactive riding on airplanes and does mischievious stuff.

4. Use the Call Button to ask the flight attendent on a date.

5. When the flight attendent comes around for drinks, request food. When they ask what meal you would like, ask for a drink.

6. When you get your meal/peanuts or whatever, dump it in the persons hair in front of you

7. Before you get on the plane go to the Sky Cap and ask them if you can deliver this bag to Chicago, this one to Detroit, and this one to Atlanta. If he says no, say, "Why not, you did it last time."

8. Have extremely loud conversations on which Olsen twin is more talented

9. If sitting next to someone you don't know attempt to stick q-tips in various parts of the body (i.e. ears, nose, don't get too excited)

10. Bring on a CD Player and the Soundtrack to Saturday Night Feaver. Dance until physically restrained.

11. Hold a Sing-A-Long.

12. Look out the window and point at stuff, claim you know that person.

13. When they serve you your food ask them what it is and tell them it dosen't look edible. (most of the time the stewerdess will agree with you)

14. Bring a live chicken on board. When you are given your food, hide it and put the chicken on trey table. Press the call button, and say your dinner needs to be cooked more.

15. Put your stuffed animal in the barf bag and say it found a new home

16. Take off your trey table, and hand it to the person in front of you.

17. If you are sitting at least 2 seats away from the aisle, get up every 5 minutes to go to the bathroom. If questioned say. I think the gum is getting to me.

18. Pull down the oxygen masks and place all three on your head at once.

19. Bring 2 Lobsters on the Plane. Paint Numbers on the back, and race them down the aisle. See how many people you can get to bet on this race. Have a board stating odds.

20. Bring a sock puppet on board, and communicate with everyone with it. (please note, this works better with people older then 4) If someone questions the words of the sock explain to them that they have affended the sock king and will be attacked by a giant ball of lint.

21. Clip your toe nails

22. Play with the lights for about an hour. If someone asks say your making strobe lights.

23. Select captains and play a game of tackle football in the aisle.

24. Two Words: Strip Poker

25. Bring on board Spam and a hot plate. Cook the spam and offer it to other passengers.

26. When the lady comes and asks you for a drink say "Vodka Martini shaken not stired" and when she says your not old enough shout and scream and pound your tray until you make such a racket that she gives in.

27. Play a game of Hungry Hungry Hippos

28. Attempt to get on the PA and start a game of Simon Says

29. Demand that you get both the arm rests and shove the persons arm off.

30. Every few minutes press the call button and ask the steward/stewardess "Are we there yet?"

31. When you first get on, take the empty seat next to you and pretend your invisible friend is there. When someone trys to sit there scream and fuss and say they can't sit on Joe.

32. When the pilot comes over the PA system cower in fear and scream, "It's those voices again!"

33. When you notice someone getting up to go to the bathroom, immidiately jump out of your seat, run down the aisle, push the person out of the way and bolt into the bathroom, stay in the bathroom for at least 1/2 an hour.

34. When the flight attendent gives you there drink list ask them for drinks not on the list, keep this up for at least 10 minutes.

35. If you_re on a plane that is showing a movie, find the VCR, and put in a porn movie, this works particularly well when you know the first movie would be one that younger children would like.

36. Bring a trombone on board, while playing it, attempt to hit as many people as possible with the slide of the trombone, then yell at them for getting in your way.

37. Using a fishing rod attempt to catch other people's dinner off their trey table.

38. When sitting in first class ask for a big meal. Leave the meal alone, and just eat the napkin, when the flight attendent comes back to check on you, say the forgot your napkin. When they come back with a new napkin, eat that one as well, keep this up for the remainder of the flight, making sure not to eat any of the food that they gave you.

39. When traveling through clouds, open an umbrella. When experiencing Turbulence scream "Earthquake!" Then run into the cock pit and hide.

More fun things to do in an airplane

1. At the airport, wear a uniform and claim you are the pilot, get annoyed if they don't believe you but DONT give up, see how far you can get ( WARNING, may result in you being arrested)

2. Whilst boarding the plane, say in a loud voice "THAT WING SURE DOES LOOK RUSTY!!"

3. When everyone is seated, do your own demonstration of what to do in an emergency, let this include 'comical' situations such as "in the (likely) event of the plane setting alight and becoming a plummeting fireball of death, please remember to tighten your seatbelt" look surprised when you are the only one laughing.

4. when the plane is still on the ground, Rock back and forth in your seat and say aloud "THIS TURBULANCE SURE IS ROUGH!!"

5. Wear rags and a headscarf, claim that your name is Svetolafoson Frojhkyhkjuhjdj and that you are being deported back to Estonia, look pleased when your told that this plane is not going there. say "Really?!, u haf not met me if zey ask zen, ok?!"

6. As the plane is landing, adopt the 'Duck and Cover' position as you scream "WE ARE GOING TO CRASH! ONLY DEATH AWAITS US ALL NOW! DEATH I TELLS YA!!!!" when you land safely, stand up and leave the plane normally, thank the stewardess for a lovely flight.

7. Go in to the toilet and make loud vomiting noises, keep going for a few minutes, then come out and announce to the plane that the toilet is blocked, act like its not your fault.

8. Stand up and ask the passengers if anyone " wants to join the mile high club with you?" wink suggestively at various people...of both sexes.

9. Get the pilot to show you round the cockpit, come out afterwards and say "YOU WOULDN'T HAVE THOUGH HE COULD FLY THE PLANE AFTER SO MUCH VODKA BUT IT JUST SHOWS, THEY REALLY ARE TRUE PROFESIONALS!".

10. Delight your fellow passengers with your impression of a plane crashing in to the sea, complete with sound effects.

11. Enthrall your companions on the plane by telling them that you knew the pilot of Buddy Holly's plane and you're pretty sure he trained at the same place as your current pilot.

12. Give a fact filled guide of the area you are flying over, this can include " And if you look to your right you will see the wreckage of our sister plane, after she was shot at and subsequently crashed in to that mountain side which, as you can see, her burnt out hull remains embedded in, the bodies were never found.'

13. Streak.

14. Occasionally scream...loudly.

15. Get up and announce that you are going to hi-jack the plane, make to get out a gun, but act like its not there, check all your pockets and then say " OH CRAP, I MUST HAVE LEFT IT IN THE OTHER COAT, OK, NEVER MIND!" Sit down like nothing has happened.

16. From the second you take off, every ten seconds say in the same voice "are we there yet?"

17. Keep sniffing around and eventually say in a loud voice "CAN YOU SMELL BURNING?"

18. Go to the cockpit, wait a few second, then come back and say in a loud voice, "UMM SHOULD'NT THERE BE...LIKE...A PILOT?"

19. When your on a small, ten person plane, Inform everyone that you used to be an aerodynamic engineer and this plane is VERY badly built.

20. As you get of the plane, look worried and announce loudly" VAIT A MINUTE, VOT IZ ZIS PLACE?! ZIS IZ NOT POLAND, VERE ZE HELL IZ ZIS?!?!?!?"

21. If you're flying first class, make sure to sit behind someone. When that person is sleeping, grap your motion sickness bag and vomit in it. After you do that, hold the bag in the air and then pop it on the person. See what happens...

Fun things to do in an elevator

1. Make race car noises when anyone gets on or off.
2. Shake the person's hand when he/she enter the lift.
3. Congratulate all for being in the same lift with you.
4. Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your kleenex to other passengers.
5. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, all of you just shut UP!".
6. Whistle the first seven notes of "It's a Small World" incessantly.
7. Sell Girl Scout cookies.
8. On a long ride, sway side to side at the natural frequency of the elevator.
9. Shave.
10. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: "Got enough air in there?"
11. Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down.
12. Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off
13. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.
14. Lean over to another passenger and whisper: "Noogie patrol coming!"
15. Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral.
16. One word: Flatulence!
17. On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go "plink" at the bottom.
18. Do Tai Chi exercises.
19. Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce: "I've got new socks on!"
20. When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back: "Oh, not now, motion sickness!"
21. Give religious tracts to each passenger.
22. Meow occasionally.
23. Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose.
24. Frown and mutter "gotta go, gotta go" then sigh and say "oops!"
25. Show other passengers a wound and ask if it looks infected.
26. Sing "Mary had a little lamb" while continually pushing buttons.
27. Holler "Chutes away!" whenever the elevator descends.
28. Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.
29. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce "You're one of THEM!" and move to the far corner of the elevator.
30. Burp, and then say "mmmm...tasty!"
31. Leave a box between the doors.
32. Ask each passenger getting on if you can push the button for them.
33. Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to other passengers "through" it.
34. Start a sing-along.
35. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask "is that your beeper?"
36. Play the harmonica.
37. Say "Ding!" at each floor.
38. Lean against the button panel.
39. Say "I wonder what all these do" and push the red buttons.
40. Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.
41. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your "personal space."
42. Bring a chair along.
43. Take a bite of a sandwich and ask another passenger: "Wanna see wha in muh mouf?"
44. Blow spit bubbles.
45. Pull your gum out of your mouth in long strings.
46. Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."
47. Carry a blanket and clutch it protectively.
48. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
49. Wear "X-Ray Specs" and leer suggestively at other passengers.
50. Stare at your thumb and say "I think it's getting larger."
51. Announce to the person stood next to you "I really need the toilet. Can I use your bag?"
52. Ask the other passengers "Wouldn't be great if this lift were to plumment to the floor, what do you think will happen?"
53. Petend to get your leg stuck in the door as it closes
53. Without letting anyone see, press the emergency stop button. Act surprised and start talking to yourself "its ok, it wasnt your fault you killed your family. It was SATAN, damm you SATAN! DAMN YOU!!!" Then press the stop button again and act as if nothing has happened.
54. Scratch yourself excessively saying "*ing headlice. They're all over me. I knew I shouldn't have played with that dog so much"
55. Set out a pinic set on the floor and suggest to the other passengers to join you in afternoon tea
56. Break wind and blame it on the person next to you
57. Pretend your are a repair man here to fix the lift. Wait untill its busy and tell everyone to get out of the lift. You get in, get your paper out and sit and relax
58. Start to talk about your sexlife. Tell them that all of your three children were concived in this very lift. And point and say "it was up against that wall"
59. Have sex with your imaginary friend
60. Say you have just won the lottery and you are on your way to collect your winnings. See how many people are listening to you
61. As the lift descends, shout "Bombs away!"
62. Offer to polish their shoes. When they say no, tell them you need the money to feed your ten starving children back home in Estonia
63. Hand out leaflets - "what to do when the lift cable breaks. The ten tips that will keep your body in one pice (although these tips will not save your life, it will make the rescue a bit cleaner, and we wont have to spend ages cleaning the blood of the walls) Hope you will live to do it again!"
64. Perform a striptease
65. Act surprised when it starts to move and say "THE GROUND IS FALLING!"
66. Fake an orgasam when the lift starts to move. Announce that it was your best ever
67. Let your mobile phone ring - dont anwser it.
68. Walk in to the lift with a clear bottle of apple juice. Start drinking and say "ah, theres nothing like your own urine to quench your first. Does anyone want some?"
69. Say "this new g-sring is really starting to hurt." Then attempt to adjust it.
70. Walk into the lift and say "this reminds me of being burried alive. Ah those were the days"
71. Suggest to the other passengers that you all should play a game of twister. Then get out the board and lie it on the floor
72. Paint the walls of the lift.
73. On entering, ask the passengers if they want to be your friend. Burst into tears if they say no.
74. Stop the lift and say "twenty years in prison for murdering the whole family, and I get stuck in a lift after being out for two hours. Just my luck!"

75. Get back to nature - go in naked
76. Pretend to be the pilot of the lift, speach into a headset "this is lift number 1, ready for decent to 1st floor. Waiting for permission to depart, over"
77. Announce in a computer like voice "this lift will self destruct in 5 4 3 2 ...oh heres my floor"
78. Serve tea and coffee
79. Take shoes off before entering, Look shocked and disgusted when the others dont
80. Act like the sergent of the lift. Order people around. Tell them to get in line.
81. Suggest to the other people that your should play musical statues. Bring a tape recorder along too
82. Teach the people french. Dont let them leave till they get it right
83. As you are coming to the end of the journey, get enmotional and have a group hug. Tell them that you will never forget them.
84. Insist, the lift ride costs £2.50
85. Describe in detail, how you're "hung like a horse"
86. Pretend to be a flight attendant (particularly affective if you are dressed like one), instruct the passengers on what to do in an emergency
87. Yodel
88. Bring out a magnifying glass, closey inspect the other passengers skin and say "ooh, look at your pores"
89. Sing "I know a song that will get on your nerves, get on your nerves, get on your nerves, get, get, get on your nerves" Over and over again.
90. Ask the others "Do you mind if I do my eminem impression?", then bring out a chainsaw and a mask.
91. Try breakdancing
92. Bring out a fake toy gun and shout to the person next to you "you lookin' at me?"
93. Challenge the guy stood next to you to a "thumb war".
94. Explain your ideas of world domination to the wall.
95. Force people to read to Kama Sutra while asking "do you wanna try this one?"
96. Dress up in a long, black cloak with a hood, stare and in a deep voice announce "it is time..."
97. Pretend to see a spider, repeatedly and violently stamp on the floor while screaming "Die you bastard, die DIIEEE!"
98. While the doors are opening, hurriedly whisper, "Hide it...quick!" then whistle innocently.
99. If anyone brushes against you, recoil and holler "Bad touch!"
100. Wave hands wildly at invisible flies buzzing around your head.

Fun things to do in a grocery store!

If you work there

1.) When stocking things, stock them facing backwards and see how long you can go before someone complains.

2.) Play conga music over the loudspeaker and try to form a conga line with customers and coworkers.

3.) Jump out from behind shelves, displays, etc. and yell, "Peek-a-boo!" at people.

4.) Get on the loudspeaker at random intervals and say whatever comes to mind first ("Booga-wooga!").

5.) If someone asks where something is, say, "Oh, is THAT what you call it now?" :wink wink:.

6.) Put an empty box on your head and yell, "I am BOXPERSON!" and run around making your own hero-music.

7.) Throw things from one aisle over the shelves and then run when you hit someone, cackling.

8.) Ride the conveyer belts on checkout lines and insist that you are this week's special.

9.) Send new sackers on quests for things that don't exist ("We need Snippi-Snappis, quick! Run, run!").

10.) After scanning everything, ask the customer if they want fries with that.

11.) Get on one of the big pallet movers and race it through the produce section while singing the Batman theme.

12.) Balance yourself in a big rolling mop bucket and push yourself along with the mop, singing 'Row, Row, Row Your Boat.'

13.) If there's more than one, hold races with coworkers.

14.) Tell the sackers to sack everything separately, first in paper, then plastic, then paper.

15.) If you're sacking, choose one thing; double sack, triple sack, quadruple sack and so on. Keep going until someone notices.

16.) Attempt to juggle lightbulbs.

17.) Throw sugar at everyone and say officiously, "You may now proceed to Decontam. Move along."

18.) When someone isn't paying attention to their cart, grab a few items and set them on the floor in front of the cart.

19.) If your job requires you to wear one of two ties, wear both at the same time.

20.) Do face painting with things like tomato paste, mustard, chocolate syrup, etc.

21.) When you watch someone scan something, get all wide-eyed and mutter things about "The Force".

22.) When someone asks where something is, snap and start screaming at them. When asked what your problem is, respond with "PMS". Bonus points if you're a guy.

23.) Watch for someone coming for soda, then shake up as many as possible and run.

24.) Stand by the dairy section and go, "Mooooo" when someone picks up some milk.

25.) Write messages of doom on the sides of random soup cans.

26.) Scream in anguish whenever anyone picks up any meat.

27.) Sit down in the cereal aisle and start opening and dumping out cereal. When someone asks what you're doing, say, "I'm looking for the prizes!".

28.) While stocking shelves, if someone walks by, say to yourself just audibly, "About time we got rid of these. Been here since the store opened.".

29.) Walk up to a perfect stranger, smile brightly, hand them a jar of something and flee.

30.) In the deli section, grab a bunch of wrapped straws, tear off the tops and shoot the wrappers at people.

31.) Bowling with produce!

32.) Organize a game of 'Truth or Dare' in the toothpaste aisle.

33.) Food fight!

34.) Throw tomatoes at people and yell, "Attack of the Killer Tomatoes!".

35.) Bring items from other stores and put them on the shelves.

36.) Locate an old lady, stare in horror, scream, "You're one of THEM!" and fall over things as you run away.

37.) Skip around merrily and hug people.

38.) Hand out pads and tampons to little kids. Say they're a "special treat."

39.) Find some cucumbers, take them to the bakery and start playing a drum solo on any available surface. See how far into the song you can get before someone asks what the hell you’re doing.

40.) Ask everyone you see whether they’ve heard the one about the waffle iron and the Chihuahua.

41.) Record the theme from ‘Jaws’, set it to play and hide it behind the Campbell's soup display.

42.) Stand just behind one of the sackers and do a Hitler impression, screaming random things in German at passing customers.

43.) Hide a video camera in the employee restroom and put the unmarked tape, with a 25 cent price tag, by the checkout.

44.) Locate a free sample tray and sprinkle a small amount of chili powder over its contents. Hide to watch the results.

45.) Cross your eyes, drool and wander around, bumping into people, until you reach the produce aisle. Immediately walk back out and ask whoever you last encountered where to find the beer.

46.) Run full-tilt into the candy aisle, grab a 5-pack of Tic-Tacs, and wave them aloft as you proclaim, "At last! The final ingredient! Now I will rule the world!".

47.) Sit down in the center of a random aisle, clutching a box of microwave popcorn and sobbing, "I'll never let go, Jack . . . I'll never let go . . .".

48.) Find a friend and set up a war between Wrigley's and BubbleYum.

49.) Station yourself in front of the plastic cutlery and prevent people from taking any by sobbing and singing 'Kum Ba Ya.'

50.) When bagging, slip tampons in among the groceries.

51.) Tell all newbies at some point to go refill the water fountains.

52.) Walk up to someone, shaking uncontrollably, and stutter as you ask where to find the caffeine pills.

53.) Hunch over and scuttle through the dairy section, muttering something about brains, then grab a cup of pineapple yogurt and fling it at someone. Keep flinging yogurt cups until someone stops you. Bonus if you get thrown out.

54.) If someone passes you, glare reproachfully and declare that you are NOT dead.

55.) Stack soup cans in intricate patterns and when told to fix it, protest that it's contemporary art.

56.) Whenever you see a guy in a T-shirt, start singing and dancing the 'YMCA.' Try to compel him to join you.

57.) Snatch and open a box of pancake mix, scream, "LIES! THERE ARE NO PANCAKES HERE!" and throw handfuls of powder at people.

58.) Pick a common item (i.e. toilet paper) and keep watch on it. When someone picks one up, scream, "UNCLEAN! UNCLEAN!" and start throwing random items at them.

59.) Dance through the bakery, clicking invisible castanets and singing in make-believe Spanish.

60.) Dare other customers to streak through the store with you.

61.) As people enter, hand them a copy of a scavenger hunt list. Tell them that they have one hour to find everything.

62.) Steal things out of people's carts and leave ransom notes asking for their cheese in return for the stolen item. Tell them to meet you by the sphegetti sauces.

63.) Get on the PA and say things like "Attention K-Mart shoppers" or "Welcome to Piggly-Wiggly". This only works if the store is NOT K-Mart or Piggly-Wiggly.

64.) Put 'Caution: Wet floor' signs in very strange places, i.e. on top of shelves, in the parking lot, etc.

65.) Hide a singing fish in the seafood area so that anyone who goes near or in it will hear it singing and talking.

66.) Act all shifty and nervous while approaching someone, then say to them while they're grabbing something, "You don't want to take that...the government puts weeeeiiird stuff in there, just using us like guiniea pigs..." Go on as long as you can. Bonus points if the person actually puts the item back.

67.) Get on the PA and pretend to be the police. Use the names of coworkers in a list of people being arrested. See how many of them actually come forward. Bonus points if someone starts confessing things.

68.) Dress professionally and stand at the entrance with a clipboard and pen. Pretend to be jotting down notes about people as they come in. Pick a trait and shake your head everytime someone passes by with that trait (short hair, sunglasses, pink socks, etc)

69.) Bump into an old lady and act like you’ve just broken a priceless antique. Offer to “put it back together again”.

70.) Go up to random people, regardless of age, sex, or marital status, and ask them if they'll marry you. If they say yes, act all nervous, stutter something about not being ready for a commitment, and run.

71.) When in the checkout lane, lean over to look at the keyboard and go "Ooo, what's this do? And this? And this?...", Pushing buttons and such while doing so.

72.) Use lines from TV and movies randomly on people you encounter.

73.) Hide a pile of fake dog doo on a shelf and loiter nearby to watch the fun.

74.) Dial a phone sex line, put it over the PA, and hide it. Things will get really interesting if you've hidden it well.

75.) Piss your customers off by getting 3 and 5 mixed up all the time.

76.) Write the number 666 on different things and watch how people react.

77.) Grab a bottle of Mrs. Butterworth's and start touching it inappropiately. See how many people have a heart attack before you're thrown out.

78.) Start humming songs from The Nutcracker and pretend to be a ballerina. Try and get as many people involved as you can.

79.) Go into loud and dramatic convulsions on the floor. When someone tries to help you, stop, yell “Can’t you see I’m busy?!” and go back to writhing.

80.) Sit down in the bread aisle with a storybook and get kids to sit down for "Stories from the Grocery Store". Start off happily, then get more bitter-sounding as you talk about your lack of a raise and stupid coworkers.

81.) Stuff your clothes with plastic sacks to make it look like you have anatomy that wasn't there before (or to enhance anatomy you already have).

82.) If working in the dairy cooler, watch for someone reaching for an item, then grab their hand from behind the shelves and make noises like a rabid animal.

83.) If someone comes up to you and asks where to find something, say, “How should I know? It’s not like I work here!”

84.) Buy a sandwich from the deli department, take a bite, gag, and then scream "Soylent Green is people!!" and run away, spitting.

85.) Make puppets out of anything you can think of-boxes, carved cheese blocks, etc. Put on a puppet show for the customers.

86.) If caught doing any of these and your boss starts chewing you out, start arguing with them. ("You're out of line." "No, YOU'RE out of line!")

87.) Steal the microphones from the checking lanes and make it look like they're plugged into weird places, such as in the meat case, on a clock, etc.

88.) Make calls over the microphones as if they're functioning. Bitch and moan if someone doesn't come to you immediately and complain about the useless help.

89.) Loudly imitate an ‘Herbal Essences’ commercial with one of the shampoos.

90.) Pick up a box of soap, pretend it’s a video camera, and do ‘The Blair Witch’.

91.) Put a box on your head and lie down in the middle of an aisle.

92.) Follow a customer around the store and quack like a duck every time they try to talk.

93.) Ask for the manager of the store and when he shows up, start screaming at him in the Pants language until you get thrown out.

94.) Make up a language and then go talk to one of the workers. Make gestures wildly when they don't understand you.

95.) Dress up as a piece of produce and picket in front of the produce display. Make up chants about the 'cruelty to vegetables'. Bonus points if someone joins you.

96.) Burst into the store, do your best ‘Xena: Warrior Princess’ cry, and tackle a magazine stand.

97.) Stand outside the door with a sign that says “The devil is in our grocery stores! Repent!”

98.) Go up to a member of the same sex and start hitting on them, insisting that they’re the man/woman of your dreams. Make puppy eyes and follow them around the store.

99.) Steal something from someone's cart and run off laughing. Be as conspicuous as possible. When they confront you, say "Blast! Foiled again!" and give the item back.

100.) Walk up to an old lady and say, “You’ve just said the secret word! Please go to the management for your prize!”

Fun things to do in school:

Tell everyone in a creepy voice "You will die in 7 days". Then act perfectly normal again.In biology class, get everyone to wear aprons and goggles, then when the teacher comes in, act like everything is perfectly normal.Stand up and act outraged when the teacher gives homework. Get someone to pretend to be your lawyer and bring them to school the next day, and threaten to sue the teacher.When the bell rings or you hear any kind of siren, scream that the pigs are coming to get you and act all scared.Wear handcuffs to class, then say "Sorry I'm late, I just had to break out of prison first"Run to the window, then start crying and say that your imaginary friend committed suicide.When the teacher gives you work to do, say you can't do it because it's against your religion.Tell the teacher you don't need to do any homework, because you're going to be sick tomorrow.If someone knocks on the door during class, get everyone to freak out and yell "We're under attack!" and hide under their desks.Roast marshmallows on the bunsen burners. If the teacher tells you to stop, whip out a pack of sausages and roast that. If the teacher tells you to stop doing that, then pull out a whole chicken and spit roast it.Go to the teacher, go close to his/her ear like you're about to whisper, but then yell "CAN I GO MAKE POOPIES IN THE TOILET?!?!"Ask to go to the bathroom. If the teacher says you can't go, say "Fine, I guess I have no choice then." then make weird faces like you're busy crapping your pants in your desk.Get everyone in class to stare in one direction all the time, and then have someone say "shift!" at a random time, and then everyone should look the other way.Put raisins over your teeth and grin when people talk to you.Walk to the front of class, but fall over and pretend that someone tripped you.When the teacher finishes a sentence, get the whole class to stand up and applaud them.When you come back from the bathroom, as soon as you walk into class, stand still for a few seconds and look around you, confused. Then ask "How did I get here?"Say everything in Russian Reversal... for example: In Soviet Russia, number divides you!Bark like a dog.Tell the teacher to prepare for evacuating the school, because you're gonna pull the fire alarm.Speak 'incorrectly', like say things like "ain't" all the time. When the teacher corrects you, nod like you understand, but carry on speaking weirdly.Get the whole class to sing "We don't need no education".When the teacher asks a question, get everyone to put their hands up, and make sure when people get picked that they must say "I forgot what I was gonna say".Meow inbetween words while answering a question.If you're late for class, and your teacher is moaning at you, say "There's no need to be moaning, you still get paid".Laugh like an evil maniac and say "You shall all perish! Perish I say!!!"... then go back to normal very quickly.Ask if you can go to the bathroom. Get up and walk straight into the wall. Frown at the wall, glare at it, and walk into it again. Then smile like a retard and walk out the door normally.If the teacher calls on you to answer something, reply in a creepy voice and say "I'll never tell!!!"... then later on ask the teacher why you haven't been allowed to answer any questions yet.Stare at the teacher and look all serious like. When the teacher notices you staring and stares back, yell "WHY ARE YOU STARING AT ME?!?!"Stand up and go to the front of the class and introduce yourself loudly and clearly (even if everybody already knows you). Tell everybody that you've been an alcoholic for 3 years now... and when they respond, act confused and say you thought the class was Alcoholics Anonymous.At a totally random time, go sit on the floor for no apparent reason.Ask your teacher what he/she really wanted to do in life instead of being a teacher.Hold your head as if it hurts, then tell the teacher that the voices in your head are arguing with each other.Say that you saw a roadkill squirrel (or other small critter) in the road on your way to school, and talk about how you're going to cook it for dinner. Talk with a redneck kind of accent.Get everyone to raise their hands and ask to go to the bathroom at the exact same time. Make sure that they do this EVERY single time the teacher asks the class a question where he/she wants them to raise their hands.Ask the teacher if you can be excused because you want to skip class.Pretend to shoot your teacher with a finger gun, then say "Sorry, I had to get rid of the alien scum".When there's no noise at all in class, raise your hand and insist that it's too loud in class.Make a map of the class and then use it whenever you need to go get something.Laugh hysterically at a completely random time.Put your hand up in class, and when the teacher calls on you, say "Mommy, I'm scared!"During a test, raise your hand and point at someone on the other end of the room, as far away from you as possible. Insist that that person is using mindreading abilities to cheat off your test.Change your accent every day. Like one day you're Australian and the next day you're Italian.March everywhere like you're in the army. Salute the teachers and call them Ma'am and Sir. Don't move unless they say "dismissed".Bring a vacuum cleaner or broom to class and just start cleaning the class and mumble something about how you can't possibly work in sugh a pig sty.Yell out loudly in class at a completely random time: "When I grow up, I wanna become a PIMP!"Like, say "like" a lot... like that.Tell the teacher that there is a disturbance in The Force.Get everyone to call the teacher the reverse of their name. For example, if it's Mr Jones, call him Senoj Rm.Bring a chocolate with you, then run to the bathroom and smear the chocolate all over your hand. Then go back to class and say "there wasn't any toilet paper".Get one person to say "I agree" after the teacher said something, then have another person raise their hand and say "I second that" and then another person says "I third that" and keep on going until everyone has done it.Write something on a piece of paper and stick it to the ceiling, then tell everyone there's something written on the ceiling. When they look, say "Made you look!"If there's a tiny insect in the class, act totally freaked out and run away screaming. Bring a small plastic fake insect if you don't get real bugs in class.Get several people in class to laugh whenever the teacher isn't looking, then instantly stop and act normal whenever he/she turns around.Knock your heaviest book off your desk repeatedly. Blame it on your imaginary friend.As soon as the teacher starts talking, look at them really concerned, as if they just said something that's really forbidden to talk about or something. Look like you're shocked and appalled for the rest of the lesson.Knit in class.When the class ends, scream for about 5 seconds and freak out completely,then suddenly calm down and go out like everything's normal.When the teacher asks a question to the class, ask the teacher "Shouldn't you know this? You're the teacher!"If it's really hot, try to fry an egg outside on some tin foil when you have PE.If your teacher is going to put on a video for the class, say "I'm really squeamish, can I go sit outside?"Have a sword fight with rulers.Give your teacher a note insisting that you're "the most bestest" in the class and that you should be promoted. Make sure the rest of the note is full of misspelled words and horrible grammar.Ask to go to the bathroom, then get up and run into the wall and pretend like you fainted. Stay there on the floor until someone comes to check on you. Then just get up and go to the bathroom like nothing had happened.Ask the teacher if he/she finds sick pleasure in tormenting innocent children.If there's an empty seat next to you, talk to the empty space as if it's your imaginary friend, and have a long conversation with him/her.Pretend that you have amnesia, like you forget things 5 seconds after someone says it. So keep asking the teacher to repeat herself or ask things like "How did I get here?" every 10 seconds.Move your tongue around in your mouth a lot (so that it's obvious you're moving it), and when the teacher asks what you're doing, say "I'm fighting cavities!"Ask if you can take over as the teacher.In the middle of a test, scream "I can't do it!" and walk out of class. 5 minutes later, walk back in with someone pretending to be your lawyer.Walk around and look confused. Ask the teacher where you are, and then go "Oh, school?! I thought I was going to McDonalds!"Act terrified, and cry out "You didn't have to be so mean!"Write "Objects in the mirror are dumber than they appear" on the bathroom windows.When the teacher asks a question, raise your hand and answer "Two!" or "Three!" or anything completely random.Pick some weird uncommon word, like "Unicorn" or "Marsupial" and get the whole class in on it... then see who can make the teacher say that word first, without actually saying that word themselves or making any really obvious suggestions.Introduce everyone to your imaginary friend called Chuck. Then whisper to Chuck that you hate this class.Write a note in class that says "Excuse me Ma'am/Sir, but why are you reading my note?" and make sure the teacher sees the note and takes it.Leave notes on the teacher's desk saying weird things like "Don't forget Tuesday" or "Have you checked the children for lice" or "Did you water the orang-utang yet?" or anything else that sounds weird.When someone talks over the PA, shout "I'm hearing those voices again!!!"Bring some cake to class, and just start eating it randomly in the middle of class. When the teacher tells you to stop, stop eating and put it away. 2 minutes later, take it out again and just carry on eating.Make a petition against petitions and pass it around.Get everyone to stare at the teacher funny whenever they walk past.If the teacher ever pats you on the back, pretend that they injured your back and start crying in agony.At a completely random time, cry out "Everyone's out to get me!"If the teacher asks "Can I help you?" start crying and say "Why won't you people just leave me alone?!?!"If you're having a test and the teacher is walking around, cover your test and glare at the teacher in a suspicious manner. Later on, raise your hand and accuse the teacher of cheating off of you.Get up to go do something, like sharpen a pencil or whatever, then look all confused and say "Help, I'm lost!"Answer every question with the same thing, something random like "Abraham Lincoln".Stumble into class, then speak with a slur, "I swear to drunk I'm not God!"If the teacher asks you where your homework is, say you thought they were joking when they assigned the homework.When someone speaks over the intercom, hide under your desk and say "NO! Not the voices again!".Draw a cartoon of the teacher, making him/her look stupid. Sign the cartoon with a bully's name and leave it on the teacher's desk.Pretend you just slapped a fly, and then say "Mmmm, snack time!"Wear a fake police badge and bring handcuffs to class, then arrest your teacher and haul them off to the detention room.When the teacher's facing the board, have everyone quietly move their desks a tiny bit forward, and if the teacher turns around stop immediately. Rinse and repeat and see how close you can get to the front of the class.When your teacher has finished explaining a really long chapter or something, put up your hand, and say "I'm sorry, can you repeat everything you just said? I wasn't paying attention"Dress up like Dracula or a superhero wearing a cape, then play with your cape all day.In a test, tell the teacher there are "voices" in your head making you cheat.Get the class phone's number, then use your cellphone during class to call the phone every 5 minutes and then hang up.Hide in the cupboard and refuse to come out. Then come out eventually. Then don't go to school the next day, but have everyone else in your class tell the teacher that you're hiding in the cupboard again (make sure it's locked and really hard to force open). See how long it takes before the teacher realizes you're not there...During a test, scream TITANIC LAWN GNOMES! I SKIPPED 7!replace the american flags in the classes with nazi flags.Stare at someone and if/when they stare back at you, yell, "Staring is extremely impolite!" Bring a Glad product to school and whenever someone gets mad at you, say, "Don't get mad! Get Glad!" Then hold up the Glad product. Keep talking as if you're talking to the person next to you, and when they answer, scream, "I wasn't talking to you! Now, Bob, where were we?"When there are people behind you, walk REALLY SLOW, especially in thin narrow places.Walk up to complete strangers and say, "Hi! I haven't seen you in so long!..." etc. See if they play along to avoid embarrassment.Follow people through the halls, always staying about five feet away. Continue to do this until they enter a class.When two or three people are walking ahead of you, run between them, yelling, "Red Rover!"Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from "Mission: Impossible."Say things like, "Would you be so kind as to direct me to your Twinkies?"Set up a "Valet Parking" sign in front of the school.When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream, "No, no! It's those voices again!"

100 ways to flirt with guys:

100. Giggle.

99. Giggle and lick your lips.

98. Giggle, lick your lips, and then rub your belly all over.

97. Say things like, “Wow...you’re really strong and good,” and, “Sometimes I wish I was your shirt so I could hug you all day. Your shirt is so lucky. [sigh]”

96. Flirt by playing with your hair. (Games like Tic-Tac-Toe are easy as the hair can quickly be formed into X's and O’s on a sheet of notebook paper. You may also make hair dolls and hair bracelets!)

95. Hide from your crush whenever they are near. This adds mystery to your blossoming relationship. If your crush spots you hiding, yelp and run. But run in a sassy, sexy, playful manner. Crying is okay, but only if it’s sexy crying.

94. If your crush sees you crying and asks what’s wrong, just giggle forcefully to ease the tension. Then mention how lucky his shirt is. Then run. Better yet, skip! Skipping, even if you're crying and giggling, will make you seem free-spirited!

93. Send a funny text message. But you don’t want your message to get lost in a sea of other messages, so send it when he’s least likely to receive messages. 3:19 am on a Tuesday is perfect! Then send it again at 4:19 am to make sure he got it. Send it to his parents as well. That way, you’ll be the topic of conversation at breakfast! Yay!

92. Flirt with someone at a bookstore by slapping the book out of their hands and whispering, “Books are word prisons!” Then karate chop the air and saunter away.

91. Brag! Bragging is great and sexy!!!!

90. Ask to borrow a pencil. Then use the pencil to write, “I own bras. Not kidding,” on a sheet of paper. Then casually point to the phrase with the borrowed pencil. Wink with both eyes!

89. Eat an apple in front of your crush, only using your eyes.

88. Fall down a lot, hoping someone hot will help you up. (Wear pads a helmet!)

87. Snorting is extreme giggling, and thus is considered extreme flirting.

86. Play footsie, but don’t keep score. That ruins it.

85. Sit behind your crush and try to touch his hair with your tongue without having him notice. It’s harder than you think. (But oh so worth it!)

84. Make a deal with a ghost: If the ghost haunts your crush until he falls in love with you, you will help the ghost solve his own murder.

83. Tell your crush about this whole ghost deal.

82. Send your flirt partner this article in an email with the subject line “Mmmmmm.”

81. Give your handsome stranger a scrambled Rubik’s Cube that, once solved, spells out the words, “We can sex if you want!”

80. Flirt with your knees and scalp.

79. Flirt with a made up language that’s based on hand noises.

78. Place a spider on your cheek and approach your handsome stranger. This will help initiate some flirty face touching.

77. Tell your crush all about the wedding you've planned in your head. This helps him know you’re serious and will certainly take things to the next level.

76. Flirt via whispers...while he’s napping.

75. To flirt in a crowded elevator, lean into your flirt partner and press your nose into his jacket. When he asks what you’re doing, say, “I need to filter out the fart smell. Your jacket smells nice. It’s like anti-fart.”

74. Run for Congress. During the campaign, drop hints that you may need a date to the victory party.

73. Start an inside joke with your flirt partner.

72. If you don’t know how to start an inside joke, pour blue paint on your head while singing “Happy Birthday.” A few days later, smile and ask your crush, “Remember when I poured paint on my head and sang? Haha...that was so bonkers, right? Kiss?”

71. It’s easy to flirt if you’re famous. Become famous.

70. Produce enough sweat that it’s dripping off your body, then flirt by saying, “I'm kind of a cloud.”

69. Give your crush a half a $100 bill and say, “Want the other half? Come and get it.”Then swallow the other half.

68. Flirt with someone else. This causes jealousy, and jealousy always leads to love, and never causes drama or tension.

67. To flirt during a road trip, tell everyone you have to use the bathroom. When they reach a rest stop, lean over to your crush, point to the bathroom, and whisper, “I’m going to be half-naked in there.” That’s totally erotic and not scary-weird.

66. Name each of his eyelashes and then speak to them directly.

65. The second best way to flirt during class is by passing a note. The best way to flirt during class is by passing a bra.

64. Posting silly photos on his Facebook wall while he’s out of town is easy and fun, but posting silly photos on his bedroom wall is more effective.

63. Make him a dessert. If you lack cooking skills, just pour sugar on your shoulder and tell him it’s a new trendy dessert called “French Skin.”

62. Carve your name into his car or house. But only when he’s looking. (You don’t want someone else to get the credit!)

61. Buy new shoes and ask your flirt partner, “Wanna see how high I can jump in my new kicks?” If he doesn’t care, jump as high as you can. That’ll show him!

60. Let your eyes do the flirting, by using tears to write him love notes.

59. The way you play an instrument can be very sensual and flirtations. For instance, try playing the harp with your tongue.

58. If flirting makes you nervous, do it with your eyes closed tight and ears plugged up.

57. Wear a wedding gown. (But nothing too fancy.)

56. Punctuate everything you say with, “Know-what-I-mean, stinky bean!”

55. Flirt with your belly button and whatever voice you feel your belly button would have.

54. Add some romance and flirtation to a high-five by immediately smelling your hand after it’s completed.

53. Go green! Flirting can also be environmentally friendly. Tell your flirt-mate he can save water by using your own tears of joy as a shower! And instead of plastic grocery bags, use a cloth bag you made from his used tissues.

52. Trading books back and forth is a fun way to flirt. Select titles carefully. Stay away from non-romantic books like Catcher in the Rye and stick with lovey-dovey books like The Notebookor the phone book with your address and number highlighted in pink and all other numbers blacked out with marker.

51. Don’t blink. If you blink, you may miss something flirty!

50. If your crush is chewing on the end of a pencil, chew on the other side until you meet in the middle, Lady and the Tramp style.

49. It’s hard to tell if someone is flirting with you or just being nice, so it’s best to analyze every detail for hours and hours until you figure it out. Go ahead and lose a few nights' sleep as you decipher the flirting. It will be worth it.

48. Flirting while exercising is easy if you choose the right activity, such as leap frogging.

47. If you’re already in a relationship, but still want to flirt with someone else, go ahead!Nothing bad can come of this. Yep, this will endly splendidly for all!

46. Flirt with your roller skate stopper.

45. Flirt at a coffee shop by buying your crush a drink and then stirring it with your pinky.

44. Flirt in line at the movie theater by casually saying, “So...I’m pretty good at hugs. Yep.”

43. Study together, and say you really need help with your anatomy homework. Then learn about the circulatory system because that’s difficult and you will need to study for the exam. Then make out...somehow.

42. Ask him questions. Guys like that. Here are some examples:
What are your hobbies?
What’s your favorite food?
What movie do you really want to see?
Wanna taste my mouth?
Have you ever been to Europe?
Did you know I own real bras?

41. Flirt with your eyelashes by lining up your old eyelashes so they spell, “Date my entire body!?!?”

40. Flirt by being mean to him until he falls in love with you. This will work. Just keep at it and never be nice. If he cries, it’s a clear sign that it’s working.

39. Flirt by buying him a boat or museum membership.

38. Flick a rubber band at his face. Boys love that! Feels good.

37. Buy him a bouquet of roses. He won’t want it, so then you say, “I’ll take them if you don’t want them.” And then that counts as him giving you flowers. Awww!

36. Spoil all the movies for him so you won’t have to waste time going to movies. You can just make out!!!

35. Having a handsome man teach you the proper form for swinging a tennis racquet can be very flirtatious. If you don’t play tennis, have him teach you the proper form for swinging a fly swatter.

34. Tell your flirting partner, “I think you're sexy. We should date and kiss.”

33. Flirt by putting a dollop of mustard on your lip and walk around waiting for Prince Charming to seductively wipe it off.

32. Flirt with a cashier by buying sexy, sexy things like bras and 50 Shades of Grey. Then give him a thumbs up that lasts 30 seconds.

31. Flirt with a dog owner by asking, “What kind of dog is she?” and follow up with, “Does your dog bark when you kiss strangers? Wanna see what my mouth tastes like?”Then thumbs up your way to a smooch!

30. Flirt over Twitter and text messaging by blaming autocorrect. Example: “Tim, I like your butt and muscles. Oops. Sorry. Autocorrect changed that. Meant to say, I like your friendship and kindness.”

29. End every email with a romantic quote from your favorite author. Example: “I wrenched the door out of my way — ridiculously eager — and there he was, my personal miracle.” - Stephenie Meyer, Eclipse

28. Use goofy humor to flirt. “You know what I like best about the word ‘fruit’? You and I are together.” And then add, “Get it!?” while clapping.

27. Flirt by ending everything you say with, “Bloopy boop!” That’s hot!

26. Flirt with someone at the grocery store by winking and then karate chop the air. Then say, “Yeah. I thought so...” and walk away. (Let him come to you!)

25. Flirt by offering him a piece of gum. If he accepts the offer, take the gum out of your mouth and cram it into his mouth.

24. Just walk up to an attractive stranger and say, “What?!?”

23. Mention your bra.

22. Write your crushes name on your hand and then when you see your crush, say, “Your name is Pete Robertson? That’s so weird! That’s my hand’s name too! See!” Remember: This isn’t weird because it’s about love. You may want to mention that.

21. If you spot someone hot who is riding a bike, mock them by saying, “That’s a funny looking car.” Then drive away and never see that person again.

20. Fight over something very petty like: Which Harry Potter spell is the best. Stand firm and do not compromise. Though your relationship will never come to fruition due to your stubbornness, at least he’ll know that the Patronus spell is all flash and not really that great.

19. Bake him a salad.

18. Drop a pencil and slowly bend over to pick it up, giving your crush a great view of your butt. Then stand upright, turn around and whisper, “I saw that, mister.” Then scream, “Security!” Then press charges, because you are NOT a piece of meat! Then drop the changes to show your crush that you care.

17. A good flirt knows how to use double entendres. For instance, you can make the phrase, “I’d like to ride in your car,” sound sexual simply by winking and then adding, “I mean sex stuff.”

16. Guys don’t like being kicked. Don’t kick guys.

15. Flirt with a good-looking waiter by saying, “Are you on the menu!?” And then use drinking straws as walrus tusks. Then karate chop the air and give him a 30-second thumbs up.

14. Karate chop the air.

13. Walk up to a handsome stranger, touch his arm, and whisper, “Tag.” Then run to base and await love.

12. Guys like an intelligent girl, so walk around with a microscope and a dictionary wherever you go.

11. Dig a big hole. When a hot guy falls into the hole offer him a rope. Once rescued, he will be grateful and marry you. If a total loser falls into the hole, you will have to marry him instead, so be careful.

10. Flirt with your ankles.

9. Begin a conversation with a stranger by complementing their clothes and proud wizarding heritage.

8. Share an umbrella by sitting on his shoulders.

7. To get closer to someone’s face, lie and say you’re a dentist.

6. Read your diary out loud during lunch.

5. Write your phone number on his hand. (Works best when he’s sleeping.)

4. Find out if he’s interested in getting dinner with you by asking seemingly platonic questions such as:
Are you hungry?
Did you eat yet?
Are you ticklish?

3. You can pretend you're scared in hopes that your flirt partner will walk home with you.For instance, you could say, “I’m afraid of goblins!” Then cry hysterically so he knows you’re serious. Vomiting really sells your fear.

2. Blow him a kiss. If he doesn’t catch it, kick him a kiss.

1. Stomp on his shoes until he loves you.

100 ways to flirt with girls

100. Girls love accents, and they also love babies. So give yourself a baby accent. “Me want juice-juice! You pretty! Me like choo-train! Thems fast!”

99. Girls also love bad boys, and puppies. A neck tattoo of a puppy will melt her heart.

98. Blow her a kiss...off your bicep.

97. Hugs are too romantic for flirting and handshakes are too casual. Tap her on the head instead.

96. If she smiles, smile back, but with your mouth open and tongue slightly protruding.This is called French Smiling.

95. Use technology to incept her dreams and alter her feelings.

94. Show her that you’re good at kissing by slowly eating a pear. Then point to her mouth, then back to the pear, then to her mouth again. This will help her understand what’s happening. She'll get it. Eventually.

93. Laughing is a the key to flirting. Tell her something funny, such as a joke, or better yet, explain a meme to her. If she doesn’t laugh at your explanation, explain it harder. “So, it’s like a picture of Willy Wonka, right? And then the text is like sorta mean but polite and sarcastic. It’s funny! Why aren’t you laughing?”

92. Impress her with your vocabulary by keeping a list of all the words you know and then showing her the list.

91. Girls love it when you show off, so end every action with a hearty, “Tah-dah!” (A wave of your cape doesn’t hurt, either.)

90. Brag about famous people your family members once met.

89. Be there to catch her if she falls. And make sure she falls by setting Home Alone-inspired traps throughout school.

88. Never, ever speak to her. If you speak to her, she may not like you. It’s best to remain quiet and hide your feelings forever. Don't let her see you, either. She should never know you exist.

87. Wear hilarious pants.

86. Talk as fast as you can, even to the point of muttering gibberish. Flirting is scary so you want it to be finished as quickly as possible

85. Tell her you once met Josh Hartnett. This will impress her and the lie is difficult to debunk. Even if she later meets Josh and asks to verify your claim, Josh will probably just say, “I don’t know. I meet lots of people.” It’s the perfect crime.

84. Win an Olympic medal.

83. Complain about how hard your life is. Girls love to hear about that stuff.

82. Give her the flu. Your germs will then be a part of her body. It's like a bacteria/virus baby. Aww! How sweet! Shakespeare himself couldn’t write such a romance!

81. If there’s a lull in the conversation, yell, “Check this out!” Then do some pushups or flips.

80. If the two of you are in the same elevator, look at your phone for a few minutes and then make some sort of weird noise that’s almost a word, such as, “Erf’ or “Flagguhm.”Trust your anxiety! It knows what to do.

79. Get a wicked bruise on your thigh and then ask if she wants to see it. (To give yourself a bruise, tickle a snoozing bear.)

78. Deodorant and body spray for men are often too harsh. Women respond well to pleasant, fresh scents. Use scented Yankee candles as deodorant! You’ll have to really mash the scented candle into your pits to make it rub off. (The scent “Home for the Holidays” works surprisingly well.)

77. Show you’re a true friend by lifting your shirt to reveal that you’re NOT wearing a wire.

76. Find common ground. Ask her what shows she likes, what music she listens to, and which of your toes is the sassiest.

75. Write her name in a notebook 1,500 times, bury the notebook under a sycamore tree, wait for the tree roots to work their magic.

74. Act like a real ass with your friends.

73. Other guys have complimented her eyes and smile a thousand times. Be unique by complimenting her spine and neck fuzz.

72. Run as fast as you can and then yell, “Did you see that?!” She will be awed with your speed and confidence.

71. Make fun of her interests and culture until she falls in love with you. This may take several weeks or years.

70. Explain in detail what happened during Breaking Bad’s first four seasons. If she seems bored, it’s only because she’s daydreaming about your wedding.

69. Blow her a kiss...off your knee.

68. Give her a cute nickname like “Freckles” or “Butt Garden.”

67. Send her an anonymous love note. If you’re worried that she won’t read it, send her an anonymous whisper. Whispers are harder to ignore than notes.

66. If she drops her book, pick it up. If she doesn’t drop her book, knock it out of her hand with a well aimed rock. Then swoop in for the flirt!

65. Lift a car above your head.

64. Wink at her not with your eye, but with your nostril.

63. Giver her a single rose. Girls love flowers. Make sure the flower lives forever by using electricity and spells.

62. Most girls love animals, but giving her a pet dog, cat, or even a hamster is a tad much. Give her a live pet that’s easy to care for, like yogurt cultures.

63. Help her paint her nails and teeth.

62. If she’s cold, offer her your jacket and slacks.

61. If she’s warm, spit on the back of her neck. As the saliva evaporates, it cools the skin.

60. Make fun of people who are different. You will seem strong and important and all the girls will love you and your hilarious words.

59. Make a fake Facebook account using a photo of a super hot girl, and then make that super hot girl write lovey-dovey comments on your real Facebook wall. This will inspire jealousy in your crush and soon she will have to love you! Spend many hours doing this. Always worth it.

58. Show her your Gangnam Style dance and tattoo.

57. When talking with her, interrupt often and loudly so she knows that your ideas are important and good.

56. Compliment her hair color, hair odor, and hair flavor.

55. Subtlety is key! Do not say, “Want to see my naked bits?” That’s too blunt. Instead, add some mystery by asking, “Nude things?” Such a statement is open to much interpretation.

54. If your crush is already in a relationship, show her that you’re the better man by starting awful, awful rumors about her current boyfriend. Then frame him for a serious crime.

53. You can win the heart of any girl by finding a real unicorn. (Hint: Just make one using horse DNA, rhinoceros DNA, and evil.)

52. Build her a house.

51. Keep offering her piggyback rides. She’ll give in one of these days. In the meantime, keep practicing at home.

50. Brag about all of your impressive bathroom statistics.

49. Just start swing dancing with her.

48. Handcuff yourself to her and swallow the key. At first she’ll hate you, but soon she’ll realize true love was right in front of her face this whole time. Aww!

47. Build a giant book store right next to her small, quaint independent book shop.

46. Pretend you’re dumb so she can tutor you. (Please see item #100 of this list.)

45. Hit her in the head with a snowball or kickball. Cupid's arrow doth sting!

44. Keep a pencil behind your ear, so you look creative. Keep a condom behind your ear so she knows you’re sexy.

43. Look into her eyes. Eye contact is critical! If you have trouble remembering, just recite this poem to yourself:

When talking to girls, I must always have grace,
And remember that eyes are the boobs of the face.

42. Brag about your eating skills.

41. Words can often confuse the situation, but hand gestures never fail. During a flirty conversation, point to your swimsuit area and nod. No one can misinterpret that.

40. Click the “Like” button on every Facebook status she posts. This is how Ben Affleck wooed Jennifer Garner.

39. Whistle at her. If you don’t know how to whistle, just blow on her as she passes by.

38. If this is a secret, online crush, plan to meet at the top of the Empire State Building—but not the observation deck. I mean the way top of the spire. (You both will need climbing gear.)

37. Write her a song and then sing the song to her voicemail, because voicemail can’t say, “Eww. Stop, please.”

36. Kill any nearby bug to prove your strength and bravery. If no bugs are nearby, you will have to kill a rodent or small cat. Point is: Kill something.

35. Compliment her cough.

34. Send a random text message that can never be deciphered. This will make her stay up all night as she tries to figure out what you mean. Choose from these examples:

A. You me?
B. Don’t wanna talk about it.
C. Hey friendly FRIEND! LOL! LUV?!
D. I think you’re great and I’d like to get to know you better.
E. Hfnbbeefffeofbuebfoebwou%

33. Drive a ridiculous car.

32. Show you care by asking about her menstrual cycle.

31. When playing a game together, get super-competitive. Cheat if you have to. Just make sure you win and win hard!

30. Brag about your noises.

29. Girls are dying to know your thoughts on professional sports and what needs to be done for a particular team to have a stellar season. Be specific. This matters greatly.

28. Hold the door for her...with your tongue, so she knows you will be a strong kisser.

27. It’s important to never let a girl see you cry. If you feel tears brewing, quickly cover your crush’s eyes with a blindfold or your hand until you compose yourself.

26. Girls seem to really dig Sherlock, so solve murders.

25. Need some topics of conversation? Try any of these:

The weather.
Current events.
Movies.
School.
What happens when guys have sexy thoughts.
Music.

24. If you see a girl at a party, a great opening line is, “You must be tired because you were running through my dreams all night...along with that talking walrus, the floor made of spaghetti, and my dead Pop-Pop.”

23. Jump over everything you possibly can.

22. Brag about your last girlfriend, because your new crush will think: Hey, if his last girlfriend was so hot and good, and he’s now flirting with me, that means I’m just as hot and good. It never backfires.

21. Sharing food can be fun and romantic. Order a bowl of soup with two straws!

20. Make a girl feel special by dutch braiding her hair while she’s sleeping.

19. Make fun of Adele, Taylor Swift, Jennifer Lawrence, and the Little Mermaid. Because those loony chicks need to be taken down a few pegs. Also, convince her that Kanye West is actually a pretty good guy. He's not arrogant; he's real, y'all! Recognize!

18. If there’s a puddle, lay your jacket down so your crush won’t get wet. If you don’t have a jacket, suck up the puddle water, let the lady cross, then spit the water out.

17. Curse.

16. Show her you're interested in everything she says by writing down everything she says. (On your arm.)

15. Change your last name so that the two of you will forever be next to each other in the yearbook.

14. Ride a gallant horse. And name the horse “The Doctor.”

13. If she says something funny, laugh. If she says something sad, laugh less.

12. Hack into her email account and see what’s up.

11. Tell her she has a lovely singing voice. If she asks how you know what her singing voice sounds like, say nothing of the microphone you hid in her bathroom.

10. Rub her feet...until she wakes up. Then run.

9. Correct her grammar, spelling, and pronunciation with great fervor.

8. Get a dog and lose it. Hang up flyers and ask your crush to help you find the dog. She will help, even if you’re ugly.

7. Change her mind about politics by using the full volume of your voice.

6. Show her pictures of you when you were a baby. Then say, “Go ahead and keep them. I have copies.”

5. Show off your video game skills.

4. As you bow, remember to remove your hat, but also squint hard enough so that your monocle doesn’t fall out.

3. A corsage on the day of prom is expected. A corsage on Thanksgiving morning is special.

2. Share the same textbook during class, but slowly and seductively lick your fingers before turning each page. (Use only your pinky for added effect.)

1. Become cold and distant. Don’t talk to her. And if she talks to you, act aloof and somewhat mean. Never smile. Never laugh. Pretend your life is extremely complicated and difficult. Wear a lot of dark colors. Be moody. Answer every question with a vague, “It’s just this place, you know? It’s like...I don’t know.” You will win the heart of every girl in the entire world. Add a British accent and you will be made King of Women.

Ok, The next one is weird…. Just… fair warning ok? >.

Hello and thank you for calling The StateMental
Hospital

Please select from the following options menu:

If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.

If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2
for you.

If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.

If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you
want, stay on the line so we can trace your call.

If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be
forwarded to the Mother Ship.

If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little
voice will tell you which number to press.

If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which
number you press, nothing will make you happy anyway.

If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696.

If you are bipolar, please leave a message after the
beep or before the beep or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.

If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have
short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss,
press 9.

If you have low self-esteem, please hang up our
operators are too busy to talk with you.

If you are menopausal, put the gun down, hang up, turn
on the fan, lie down and cry. You won't be crazy forever.

If you are blonde, don't press any buttons, you'll just
mess it up.


How much am I worth?

Natural Hair Color:
] Brown - $100
[ x] Blonde - $50
] Black - $15
[ ] Bald - $5
[ ] Other - $75

Total: $50

Eye Color:
]Brown - $50
]Green - $75
[x ] Blue - $150
[ ] Hazel - $100
[ ] Other - $15

Total so far: $200

Height:
[ ] Over 7′ - $200
[ ] 6′8″ to 7′ - $175
[ ] 6′0″ to 6′7″ - $150
[ ] 6'6″ to 5′11″ - $75
] 5′4″ to 5′10″ - $85
[x] Under 5′4 - $0

Total so far: $200

Age:
[ ] 50 to 56 - $175
[ ] 46 to 50 - $150
[ ] 41 to 45 - $125
[ ] 31 to 40 - $100
[ ] 26 to 30 - $75
[ ] 21 to 25 - $50
[ ] 19 to 20 - $25
[x] 0 to 18 - $100

Total so far: $300

Birth Order: I could make this complicated... And I'd get over 1,500 (1,770 to be exact) from this question alone, but I'll keep it simple.
[ ] Twins or more than twins - $750
] First born - $320
[ ] Only Child - $250
[ ] Second born - $150-
[ x] Middle child - $100
[ ] Last Born - $100
[ x] Third born - $550
[ ] Fourth born - $300
[ ] Fifth born - $400
[ ] Sixth born -$215

Total so far: $950

Drink?
[ ] I did like once - $400
[ ] Only Holidays - $250
[ ] Sometimes - $215
[ ] YES - $200
[ ] Only weekends - $300
[ ] Every other day - $50
[ ] Once a day - $15
[ ] I live from the bottle - $Bankrupt$
[x] No - $600

Total so far: $1550

Vision?
[x] perfect vision - $400
[ ] need or have glasses/contacts but don’t wear them - $200
[ ] No correction - $100
[ ] Glasses - $50
[ ] Contacts - $25
[ ] Surgical correction - $100

Total so far: $1950

Shoe Size:
[ ] 13 - $300
[ ] 12 and a half to 13 - $250
[ ] 11 to 12 - $400
[ ] 7 to 10 - $50
[x] Under 7- $450

Total so far: $2400

Favorite Colors (multiple):
[ x] Green - $750
[ ] Red - $600
[x] Black - $100
[ ] Yellow -$475
[ ] Brown - $300
[x] Purple - $225
[ x] White - $400
[x] Aqua - $350
] Orange - $300
[x ] Blue - $300
[x ] Pink - $100
[ x] Other - $500

Total: $ 5125

Did you use a calculator to add it all up?
[ ] Yes - $0
[x] Nope - add $1000
[ ] some - $750

Final Total: $6125

Annoying things to do on an elevator:

MEOW occasionally.

SAY -DING at each floor.

SAY "I wonder what all these do?" And push all the red buttons.

WHEN the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"

TRY to make personal calls on the emergency phone.

When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn't you.

Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.

Ask if you can push the button for other people, but push the wrong ones.

Call the Psychic Hotline from your cell phone and ask if they know what floor your on.

Hold the doors open and say your waiting for a friend. After a while, let the doors close, and say, "Hi Greg. How's your day been?"

Drop a pen and wait until someone goes to pick it up, then scream, "That's mine!"

Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the elevator.

Move your desk into the elevator and whenever anyone gets on, ask if they have an appointment.

Lay down the twister mat and ask people if they would like to play.

Leave a box in the corner, and when someone gets on, ask them if they can hear ticking.

Pretend you are a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.

Ask, "Did you feel that?"

Stand really close to someone, sniffing them occasionally.

When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay, don't panic, they open again!"

Swat at flies that don't exist.

Tell people that you can see their aura.

Call out, "Group Hug!"and then enforce it.

Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering, "Shut up, all of you, just shut up!"

Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside, ask, "Got enough air in there?"

Stand silently and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.

Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce in horror, "Your one of THEM!" and back away slowly.

Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to the other passengers.

Listen to the elevator walls with your stethoscope.

Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

Stare, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce, "I have new socks on".

Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers, "This is MY personal space!"

Put police tape in front of the door before entering.

Fart loudly when there are only two of you in the elevator. Argue vehemently that it wasn't you.

Hold an auction.

Do the "potty dance" all the way to the elevator door. Upon arrival, sigh and look greatly relieved.

Ask every passenger coming if you can borrow a tampon. Especially effective if victim is male. Even more effective if you yourself are male.

Throw a rave.

Place potted plants and water fountains at strategic locations in the lift. When people ask what you are doing, tell them you "won't ride an elevator that's not fung shwei."

Greet everyone getting on with a warm handshake and ask them to call you "Admiral".

Hum the first six notes of the "It's a small world" over and over again.

When you brush past someone, whisper "Was it good for you too?"

Lean over to another rider and whisper 'Noogie patrol coming!'"

Have a heated debate with yourself.

Bring a melon onto the elevator. Try to sell it to the other passengers.

Drum on every available surface.

Write a big X on the elevator floor, and hand out "pirate" maps to everyone as they enter.

Give psychotherapy to the other passengers.

Greet everyone coming on as if they were your best friend. Use the same name for all of them.

Say "ring ring," then pull a banana out of your pocket and start talking into it.

Propose to the other passengers.

Challenge people to duels.

Sell girl scout cookies.

Bring a large pile of ice. Build an igloo on the floor.

Come on looking really scared, and say to another passenger..."I'm kinda nervous...this is my first time flying..."

Any time someone enters the doors, recoil in horror.

Stick your tongue out. Act like it's a cigarette, and ask someone for a lighter.

Pitch a tent on the floor, and "camp out" for the weekend.

Play "I've got your nose" with the other passengers.

Shout "Food fight!"

Every time someone else talks, angrily shout: "Some people are trying to sleep here!"

When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to pull the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.

Lick one of the buttons. Tell the other passengers you're sick and tired of people stealing your food the second you turn your back.

Elevators were practically MADE for river dnce!

Bring a snowboard onto the elevator. Put it on. Every time the lift goes up or down, shout "WOO-YEAH! This is what I call sick air!"

Make sushi.

Shave.

Every time the elevator goes down, loudly scream "OH MY GOD!! We're all gonna die! This is it! This is it! It's over! IT'S OVER!!" Look relieved when it stops

moving. When you begin to drop again, repeat.

Ask the other passengers if they want to see your glass clown collection.

Practice your kung fu.

Make race car noises when people get on and off.

Ask everyone on the elevator: "Are you my mother?"

Fly a model airplane.

Do yoga.

Play the accordion

Enter the elevator with nothing on your head. Individually ask everyone if they like your hat.

Bring a rocking chair. Sit and knit.

Recite gangsta rap lyrics in monotone.

Enter with a shovel, and attempt to "dig for treasure."

Read "Green Eggs and Ham" at the top of your lungs. Sound out every word.

Start laughing maniacally like "muwahahahahaaa!!!!!!!"

Enter a crowded elevator, smile evilly, and say, "I bet you're wondering why I've called you all here."

List your twelve favorite THG characters in no particular order:

1. Rue
2. Clove
3. Prim
4. Finnick
5. Johanna
6. Cinna
7. Peeta
8. Katniss
9. Haymitch
10. Cato
11. Glimmer
12. Annie

1. Have you ever though of Six and Eleven as best friends?

Haha no, no I have not

2. Do you think Four is hot? How hot?

Finnick isn't hot. He's hotter than hot! He's just pure sexy lol

3. What would happen if Twelve got Eight pregnant?

Last time I checked it's impossible for a girl to get another girl pregnant...

4. Can you recall an awesome thing about Nine?

He keeps Katniss and Peeta alive!

5. Would Two and Six make a good couple?

Ewwww. No.

6. Five/Nine or Five/Ten? Why?
Johanna and Haymitch or Johanna and Prim? Yuck, neither!

7. Is there any such thing as One/Eight fluff?

Not that I know of...

8. What score would you give to Five if you were the Gamemaker?

Well in the beginning of her games... 3 but now I'd give Johanna a 8.

9. (1) and (7) are in a happy relationship until (9) runs off with (7). (1), brokenhearted, has a hot one-night stand with (11) and a brief unhappy affair with (6), then follows the wise advice of (5) and finds true love with (12).

Rue and Peeta are in a happy relationship until Haymitch runs off with Peeta. Rue, brokenhearted, has a hot one-night stand with Glimmer and a brief unhappy affair with Cinna, then follows the wise advice of Johanna and finds true love with Annie. (WTF? Just... What the fuck!)

10. Does anyone on your friends’ list read 3 hot?

WTF is a friends' list?

11. Does anyone on your friends’ list write or draw eleven?

Still don't know what a friends' list is.

12. Would anyone on your friends' list write Two/Four/Five?

IDK what a friends list is!!! FUCK THAT. >.>

14. What would happen if Seven walked in on Two and Twelve having sex?

If Peeta walked in on Clove and Annie having sex... Shit that be awkward. I think Peeta would try to kill Clove.

15. Suggest a title for a Seven/Twelve in a love scene?

Peeta and Annie love scene? The cure for one another? :/ I have no fucking clue.

16. What would be a good pick up line for ten to use on two?

Cato would say to Clove, "You are so beautiful when you are killing people babe. ;)"

17. What would be a good title for this?

You mean for #16? Love for the Killers?

18. How would you feel if Seven/Eight were in a fight?

Peeta and Katniss are in a fight? That just won't end well. They will probably fight about who should kick the other person's ass. ._.

19. What would you think if you found (5) was a really good friend of a sibling or relative of yours?

Johanna's a really good friend of my sibling/relative? Cool!!!! I better put a knife under my pillow though... You never know about Johanna...

20. How would you react if you saw (8) and (11) in a closet together with a rubber ducky?

Katniss and Glimmer are in a closet together with a rubber ducky? Is Glimmer like... Dead? WTF! DON'T HURT THE DUCKY!

21. How would you feel if (2) dissed you in the worst possible way ever?

Clove... I'm not exactly surprised... I'd probably just say "AWWW THANKS! BEST COMPLIMENT EVER!" and skip away, 'cause that's just what I do.

22. You just came home from school and all of your friends hate you, your teacher just gave you an F on the most important project of the year (just imagine it happened for thsmart alecks out there), and your parents have grounded you as your teacher had already called and told them of your grade. You open the door to your bedroom and you find (10) rummaging through your stuff. What do you do?

Cato is rummaging through my stuff? As much as I'd like to shove him out a window after my crappy day, I couldn't really do that since I'm not that strong. Since violent options aren't available... I'd probably hug him really tight then throw a unicorn stuffed animal at him... Then get ready to die because Cato is Cato. But hopefully he wouldn't kill me because I really like Cato! :D

23. What would you think if (1) was emo and had tried to slit his/her wrists? If (1) is already emo/slit his/her wrists already, what would you think if (1) became the most optimistic person in the world?

What the FUCK! HELL NO THAT WON'T HAPPEN! RUE CAN'T FUCKING SLIT HER WRISTS! IT'S NOT POSSIBLE. >.>

24. What would you feel this second if (4) gave you a daisy right now?

Ummmm... AMAZING! Finnick just gave me a daisy!

25. (6) has just stolen your hairbrush. What is the first thing you would say?

ARE YOU GONNA STYLE MY HAIR???? Please??? :D

26. (7), (9), and (4) have banded together at 3 in the morning and start to sing the most annoying song you know as loud as they can, waking you up. What is the first thing you think?

Peeta, Haymitch, and Finnick are singing Gangam Style? At three in the morning? AM I HALLUCINATING AGAIN?

27. What if (2) and (11) were your teachers?

Clove and Glimmer are my teachers? Holy shit I'm going to become a girly psychopath... Wait I already am one. xD

28. What would (8) say if (1) and (5) got married?

What would Katniss say if Rue and Johanna got married? "SHIT AREN'T YOU DEAD? ISN'T SHE A LITTLE OLD GOT YOU? AREN'T YOU DEAD!!!!?"

29. Would (2) most likely be related to (10) or (9)?

Clove is more likely related to Cato than Haymitch

30. What would (6) most likely be buying at Target?

Makeup and Fabric for clothing.

31.The end! By the way, I set you up on a date with two.

What? ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME? I'm not interested...

1 woke you up in the middle of the night?

RUE!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D

Number 2 asked you to go out with him/her?

Pffft, I don't have a death wish. Anyway, I'm wouldn't date Clove even if she wasn't crazy.

Number 3 walked into the bathroom while you're showering?

... PRIM? What the fuck?

4 announced he's going to marry 9 tomorrow?

Finnick, Annie is way better for you than Haymitch.

5 cooked you dinner?

Yay food!

6 was lying next to you on the beach, sleeping?

Uhhhh... Pedo?>.>

7 suddenly confessed to be part of your family?

PEETA's IN MY FAMILY? YAY BREAD! :P

8 got into the hospital somehow?

That's nothing new really...

9 made fun of your friends?

Haymitch, you better be drunk!

10 ignored you all the time?

:( CATO YOU MEANIE!

You're on a vacation with number 2 and manage to break your leg. What does 2 do?

She laughs and stabs me repeatedly before killing me slowly.

You're stuck in a house that's on fire. What does 4 do?

Try to save me, I hope... Right? Finnick would save me?

You're about to do something that'll make you feel extremely embarrassed. What will 5 do?

She'd encourage me to do it and then laugh later.

You're about to marry number 10. What's 6's reaction?

Cinna's reaction to me marrying Cato? I'm hoping that he'd make me a wedding dress. XD

You got dumped by someone. How will 7 cheer you up?

He'd make me cheese buns!

You're angry about it afterward, how does 8 calm you down?

Katniss... Doesn't .-.

You compete in some tournament. How does 9 support you?

He tells me to stay alive XD

You can't stop laughing. What will 10 do?

Snap my neck?

Number 1 is all you've ever dreamed of. Why?

Rue is all I've ever dreamed of? Awkward... :P

2 tells you about her deeply hidden love for number 9. Your reaction?

Uh... He's a little old for you, don't ya think?

You're dating number 3 and introduce her to your parents. Will they get along?

Ummmm... Again I'm not interested... But ya, everyone likes Prim.

Will number 5 and 6 ever kiss?

GAH! I HOPE NOT!

You had a haircut and 7 can't stop looking at you. What goes on in your mind?

Peeta... Go back to staring at Katniss.

Number 8 thinks he'll never get a girlfriend. What will you tell him?

Katniss... You are married so shut up.

Number 9 gives you a bagel. Do you eat it?

Uhhhh... No. I don't trust Haymitch...

10 wants money and decides to get a job at Chuck E' Cheeses. How long does he stay?

A few seconds before he can't stand it there anymore... Then kills everyone and leaves.

1 offers you a CD. Considering her tastes, do you listen to it?

Yes.

4 slaps 9 with a fish for going out with 7.

Go Finnick! Don't let Haymitch be a Pedo! >.>

5 Comes up to you wearing a big pink dress. What's your reaction?

Johanna... What are you planning?

6 cusses 2 out in German. 3 is secretly watching from behind a bush. What does she do?

Prim... Runs up and tells Finnick to stop cursing Clove out in German and then heals them because Clove hurt Finnick and that's why he's cussing in German.

8 reads your Fanfictions and complains. What is it about?

Katniss is sad that I created an awesomer main character than her

9 can't stand 1, so how does he get his revenge when she spills soda all over him?

Haymitch can't stand Rue... So his revenge is throwing up his alcohol on her?

Number 3 decides to go swimming. Do you go with her?

Sure! That could be fun!!!

4 and 7 compete on DDR. Who wins?

Finnick! :D

5 is having a birthday party and he picks a theme. What is it?

Axes and pink fluffy objects. :P

6 and 1 have a deep conversation. What is it most likely about?

Cinna and Rue have a conversation about her chariot outfit.

7 stalks 10 home. 9 sees this. What does he do?

Peeta stalks Cato home... Haymitch sees this and then gets drunk.

1,3,5,6 each want to kill 4. Why?

... NO ONE WANTS TO KILL FINNICK!

5 and 6 each get accepted into separate rival secret organizations bent on creating a hobo-powered death beam before the other does! WHAT HAPPENS!!

Johanna kills Cinna with her hobo-powered death beam while he is adding jewels to his.

4 dies, how does 1 and 10 react to it?

Finnick dies, Rue mourns the death but isn't too affected since she didn't know him and Cato laughs his ass off.

If 2 asked a random question to 10, what would 10 answer?

Clove, I like you and all but seriously, ask me something random again and I won't hesitate to kill you.

6 is stuck in a cave with a huge monster. There is a sword s/he can use to fight against it, but it's lying on the other side of a pit of tarantulas and 9's boogers. Does he make a reach for the sword, and can he fight back against the monster?

Cinna... Dies :(

Make up an e-mail address for 6:

Fashion_Rebel@gmail.com

20 Questions with me:

1. What were you doing at midnight last night?

Driving home from a Yellowcard concert. Well... I wasn't driving but you get the point.

2. What is your current cell phone wallpaper?

Rue! :D

3. Which Disney character do you like best?

Hmmmmm... The beast, Snow white, or Violet from The Incredibles

4. Can you roll your tongue?

No :(

5. Innie or outie?

Innie!!

6. How tall are you?

5'1" and growing! :D

7. Do you twirl your spaghetti or cut it?

Twirl it.

8. Favorite soda?

MOUNTAIN DEW!

9. What type of shirt are you wearing?

Band-tee. All Time Low 10. Most recent movie you have watched in theatres?

The Hunger Games!

11. Favorite Fruit?

Watermelon, Apples, and Nightlock XD

12. Favorite vegetable?

Corn

13. Future career?

I'm not sure yet...

14.Do you like running long distances?

No.

15. What was the last shampoo you
Used?

I don't know.

16. Favorite flower?

Primroses, white roses, dandelions, and other Roses

17. What is the 1st theme song that pops in your head?

Rue's four-note whistle comes to mind, and it's played in all the Hunger Games commercials, but I don't think that counts. Ummm... The Gravity Falls theme song lol.

18. How do you feel about your family?

Eh. They are alright.

19. What time do you go to bed?

Whenever lol

20. Last person you hugged?

My little sister

BONUS!! Favorite Hunger Games character?

RUE... Or Cato... Or Finnick... Or Annie... Lol it could go on forever

Hunger Games Character Quiz!!

KATNISS

[X] You would do anything to protect your family.

] You have good aim.

[ ] You hate cats.

[X] You like to wear your hair in a braid .

X] You find sticking to instructions tough .

] You aren’t too fond of people in general.

[X] You hate being indebted to people.

] You hold grudges.

] You wouldn’t describe yourself as a warm, friendly person—you’ve got about as much charm as a dead slug.

] When you sing, the birds fall silent.

PEETA

[X] You’re an artist.

X] You love to bake.

] You can decorate well.

X] Manipulating people comes naturally for you.

[X] You’re clever.

[ ] Your favorite color is orange.

[X] People tend to be charmed by you.

X] You’re a fantastic liar.

] You’re a hopeless romantic.

] You have a strong sense of self.

GALE

[ X] You question everything.

X You’re very defiant.

[X] You’re spontaneous.

] You’re a rebel with a cause.

[ ] You would do absolutely anything for justice.

] People would describe you as being good-looking.

[X] You’re very intelligent

[X] If your friend was in trouble, you’d do anything to try and help them.

[X] You hate the Capitol

] You don’t mind providing for your family

FINNICK

X] You like sugar cubes.

] Others often describe you as sexy or gorgeous.

] You’ve been used for your looks.

] You’re a skilled swimmer.

[X] When you’re anxious, your hands have to be occupied—with knots or something of that nature.

] You’re very popular, but don’t want to be.

[X] You’re protective.

] When the person you love isn’t with you, you feel lost and lonely.

[X] There’s more to you than what people see.

[X] You hate it when people judge you or others before getting to know them.

PRIM

[ ] You’re innocent.

X] You have blonde hair.

[X] You adore animals.

] You love helping people in need.

[X] People seem to be fond of you.

[X] Over time you’ve become quite wise.

] You are nurturing.

[ ] When you’re older, you want to be a doctor or a nurse.

[ ] You have an older brother or sister who would do anything for you.

X] You are very forgiving.

CINNA

[X] You’re creative.

x] You root for the underdog.

] You dress simply.

[X] You stand up for your cause.

] Your hair is simple and easily manageable.

[X] You tend to have brilliant ideas.

] You would be willing to die for a cause.

[X] You are brave.

[X] Your ideas are very ‘out there’ and they stand out from the rest.

x] You aren’t like anybody you live with.

EFFIE

x] You’re somewhat materialistic.

] You’ve dyed your hair a wild color.

X] You’re somewhat naive.

] You’re chirpy.

[X] You’re punctual and hate lateness.

] Etiquette is important to you.

] You’re rich.

] You can be considered an airhead.

] While you may seem shallow, you have hidden depths.

] You hate where you work.

HAYMITCH

x] You’re very sarcastic.

] You get drunk often.

] People might find you condescending.

X] Outsmarting others is a talent of yours.

] You’re very lonely.

[X] You’re very intelligent.

[X] You tell it like it is.

] You’re dependant on something/someone.

] You’re grumpy.

[X] You’re cunning.

JOHANNA

] You’re a bold, gutsy person.

[X] People might call you crazy.

[X] You want things to be fair.

] You’ve had a rough time in life.

] You really don’t like most people.

] You have short hair.

] You don’t like being in water.

X] You’re defiant.

] You’re lonely.

] You have bad memories which you can’t seem to let go of.

RUE

[X] You love music.

[X] You’re small and graceful.

[X] You hum often.

] You inspire others.

X] You’re always hungry.

[X] People underestimate you.

] You’re innocent.

[X] You’re smarter than you look.

X] You’re an underdog.

] You’re a good singer.

FRIENDS: Meet your boy/girl friend and say nice to meet you

BESTFRIENDS: Meet your boy/girl friend and scare the BLEEP out of him/her by threatening to break every bone in him/her's body if he/she hurts your bestfriend

FRIENDS: Will say you can do better

BESTFRIENDS: Will call him and say"you have seven days to live"

FRIENDS: Ask why you're crying

BESTFRIENDS:Already have a shovel ready to bury the loser that made you cry

FRIENDS: Will help you move

BESTFRIENDS: Will help you move a dead body

FRIENDS: helps you up when you fall

BESTFRIENDS: continues walking while saying, "Walk much dumbass?"

FRIENDS: gives you their umbrella in the rain

BESTFRIENDS: takes yours and says, "RUN, -BEEP- RUN!"

FRIENDS: wipes your tears when your rejected

BESTFRIENDS: goes up to him and says, "It's because your gay isn't it?"

FRIENDS: will bail you out of jail

BESTFRIENDS: would be in the room next to you saying, "THAT WAS AWESOME, LETS DO IT AGAIN!!"

FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you

BESTFRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography about your life

FREINDS:Will leave you behind if thats what everyone else is doing

BESTFRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowd asses that left you

FRIENDS:Will be there to take your drink away when they think youve had enough

BESTFRIENDS:Will look at you stumbling all over the place and say,"Girl drink the rest of that you know we don’t waste"

FRIENDS: comfort you when you fight with your boyfriend

BEST FRIENDS: go over to his house and kick his ass

FRIENDS: bail you outta jail

BEST FRIENDS: sit next to you singing the jail song

FRIENDS: tell you to forget it when you say you want to vandalize a guy's house

BEST FRIENDS: best friends are the ones getting fined by the police with you

FRIENDS: Think your insane for jumping off a roof onto a trampoline

BEST FRIENDS: Are jumping right after you

FRIENDS: are offended when you make fun of them

BEST FRIENDS: kick your ass and all's forgiven

FRIENDS: are shy around your boyfriend

BEST FRIENDS: will tease him till he blushes redder than a fire engine

FRIENDS: don't see you if you're sick

BEST FRIENDS: are why you're sitting in bed under a blanket with a thermometer, book, and your phone

FRIENDS:dare you to scream into the street

BEST FRIENDS: dare you to go streaking

FRIENDS: call you retarded for running threw bleachers yelling "IT'S PICKLE TIME!"

BEST FRIENDS: are screaming and running with you

Truly stupid things found on other things.

You know you use some of these! Don't Lie!

On Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)

On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special!)

On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(And that would be how?)

On some Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it's 'just' a suggestion!)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
Do not turn upside down.
(Too late! you lose!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
(Are you sure? Let's experiment.)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
(But wouldn't that save more time?) (Whose body?)

On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
(We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: may cause drowsiness.
(One would hope!)

On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning: keep out of children.
(hmm...something must have gotten lost in the translation...)

On a string of Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As opposed to use in outer space.)

On a food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
(Now I'm curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.
(But no peas?)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
(Somebody got paid big bucks to write this one...)

On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
(Raise your hand if you've tried this...'cause I know I'm rais'in mine!)

On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief.)

QUESTIONS!

1. Grab the nearest book to you and open up to page 81 line 4.

"...with it." -- The Power of Six, Pittacus Lore. Wow... That was moving.

2. Stretch your left arm out as far as you can, What can you touch?

My pillow. That's only if I put my arm stretched out and slightly behind me... Otherwise I can only touch air.

3.What is the last thing you watched on TV?

Vampire Diaries!! :D

4. Without looking guess what time it is?

12:29

5. What time is it?
12:33! :D I'm good at this!

6. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?

The vent. All is silent at night. :P

7. When was the last time you stepped outside, what were you doing?

I was taking the recycling out.

8. Before you started this what did you look at?

I was reading fanfiction!!! :D

9. What are you wearing?

All Time Low band tee and pajama pants lol

10. Did you dream last night?

Yeah! It was a really wierd dream that I'm not gonna go over.

11. When did you last laugh?

A few hours ago while talking to My friend on the phone

13. Seen anything crazy lately?

Yeah! Wait... No. Wait... Yeah. I looked on the mirror and I saw myself... Oh and I saw my 'imaginary friends'... But they are real I swear!

14. What do you think of this quiz?

I think... That's it fun but no one will get this far in my profile to read it! XD

15. What is the last film you saw?

Hunger Games for the 21st time... My goal is to watch it 74 times exactly before Catching Fire comes out.

16. If you became a multi-millionare over night what would you buy?

... Panem. >.>

17. If your first child is a girl what would you name it?

Blair or Scarlette... Maybe Cosette or Echo or Sabine... I don't know, I like unique names. I have a Lot of ideas lol

18. If your first child is a guy what would you name it?

Uhhhh... Idk. Maybe Damon... Jagger? Or Like... Xavier, Emmett, Jett, or Monroe...

1) Are you in a relationship with somebody?
No, but I really like someone :/

2) Do you hate more than 3 people?
Yeah. It's like... 4 people lol.

3) How many houses have you lived in?
...5 or 4

4) Favorite candy bar?
Milky way or just Hershey bars

5) Favorite shoes?
My sneakers. They are comfy and thats all that really matters.

6) Have you ever tripped someone?
Yeah.

7) Least favorite school subject?
Tech Ed... The teacher sucks.

9) Do you own a Britney Spears CD?
Nope!

10) Have you ever thrown up in public?
I haven't!

11) Name one thing that is always on your mind. Projects, my writing, volleyball... My dreams lol.

12) Favorite genre of music? Alternative and Post-Hardcore. 13) What is your zodiac sign? Aires

14) What time were you born? Around 10:30 am?

15) Do you like beer? I wouldn't know that.

16) Ever made a prank phone call? Yeah! So funny lol

17) What is the most embarrassing CD you own? Kids Bop 4

18) Are you sarcastic? No. I am always serious, 100% of the time. That's why I made a note at the top of my page saying "I can be sarcastic."

19) What are your favorite colors? Aqua, Azure (love it!), sky blue, seafoam green, purple, sliver, black, pink, other shades of blue and green lol.

20) How many watches do you own? ...none.

21) Summer or winter? Summer! NO SCHOOL!

23) Favorite color to wear? Blue or Black.

24) Pepsi or Sprite? Sprite

25) What color is your cell phone? Black

26) Where is your second home?
My dads house lol. I literally have a second home! XD

27) Have you ever slapped someone? I've slapped lots of people. I've also bitten people... And kicked people... And punched them... And hit them... Oh and licked people. Oh and chased people with objects that I planned to hit them with. I HAD A REASON TO THOUGH!

28) Have you ever had a cavity? Yep

29) How many lamps are in your bedroom? 3

30) How many video games do you own? Too many. XD

31) What was your first pet? A fish. I named her Reddy. She was... Blue. Just kidding she was red.

32) Ever had braces? Yeah and I'm going to have to get them again.

33) Do looks matter? Not really.

34) Do you use chapstick? Yeah!

37) Are you too forgiving? Yeah... I'm WAY too forgiving.

38) How many children do you want? Uhhh... 1-4.

39) Do you own something from Hot Topic? Yes. I own a lot of stuff from Hot Topic. 40) Favorite breakfast meal? Pancakes and Bacon :D

41) Do you own a gun? I own a water gun... Does that count? XD

42) Ever thought you were in love? No...

43) When was the last time you cried? ... I don't know actually. I tried to fake cry in school but I couldn't do it. I just kept laughing. Why I wanted to cry in school is a very long story. XD

44) What did you do 3 nights ago? I was up all night because of caffeine .-. Playing sims for some unknown reason and fighting the urge to run around my house scream- singing Barbie Girl.

45) Olive Garden? La Panera? I don't know what La Panera is, so Olive Garden.

46) Have you ever called your teacher mommy? In second grade I called the substitute teacher Mom... She had my last name and looked like my mom but she wasn't. >.> damn clone.

47) Have you ever been in a castle?
Yes. Disney Princess castle in Disney World! XD

48) Nicknames? Lol yeah. Let's see... There is Shelbs, Shelbo, Shelba, Shelbers, Sherbert, Shebi... Smig, midget, Bella, Felicity... Don't even ask how that ended up being my nickname lol.

49) Do you know anyone named Bertha? No... I feel bad for anyone named Bertha. Ugly name .-.

50) Ever been to Kentucky? No, but I've been to Kentucky... fried chicken!

51) Do you own something from Banana Republic? No.

52) Are you thinking about somebody right now? Depends on what you mean...

53) Have you ever called someone Boo? No

55) Do you own a diamond ring? No

56) Are you happy with your life right now? Somewhat...

57) Do you dye your hair? No. My hair is alright the way it is lol.

58) Does anyone like you? Possibly... But you know... Maybe not.

59) What year were you born? 1999

60) What were you doing in May of 1994? I wasn't born...

61) Do you own a Backstreet Boys CD? No.

62) McDonalds or Wendys? Wendy's

63) Do you like yourself? Not really.

64) Are you closer to your mother or father? My dad:)

66) Are you afraid of the dark?
Maybe >.>

67) Have you ever eaten paste?
No?

68) Do you own a webcam? No.

69) Have you ever stripped? Umm, NO!

70) Ever broke a bone? No

72) Do you chat on AIM often? No, I don't think AIM exists anymore

73) Pringles or Lays? Lays

74) Have you ever broken someone's heart? No... Just made them very sad lol. That was just from insulting them repeatedly, though they DID like me, so maybe.

75) Rugrats or Doug? Rugrats

77) Did you like your high school guidance counselor? I don't know. In the future I MIGHT dislike her. You never know.

78) Has anyone ever called you fat? ...no.

79) Do you have a birth mark? Yeah

80) Do you own a car? Too young for that!

81) Can you cook? Somewhat.

82) 3 things that annoy you:

1. My sister

2. People who are Douches

3. Homework

83) Do you text message often? Pretty often lol

84) Money or love? Love

85) Do you have any scars? A few

86) What do you want more than anything right now? ...No more school

87) Do you enjoy scary movies? Yeah

88) Relationships or one night stands? Relationships

90) Do you enjoy greasy food? Only when it's supposed to be greasy

91) Have you seen all the Rocky movies? I'm not really sure what a Rocky movie is, so I'm gonna say no.

92) Do you own a box of crayons? Yes! I 94) Who was the last person that said they loved you? My little sister

95) Who was the last person that made you mad? My older sister

96) Who was the last person that made you cry? ... Myself.

97) Who was the last person that made you laugh? Emily

98) Who was the last person that you fell for? ...I'm not telling you!!!

100) Who was the last person that called you? Emily! :)

What’s the last book you read? Paranormalacy! It was a really good book.

What's on your TV right now? Nothing.

Who's the last person you talked to and what did you say? I have to go. I said that to Emily.

Where are you? My room

What was the last thing you ate? Fruit snacks

What's your personality like? Haha which one?

What was the last thing you thought? What was the last thing I thought?

What was the last thing you dreamed and when? Ummmm... I'll just freak you out if I tell! :P

Reach out and grab the closest thing to you. What is it? Without looking? A blanket

What are you eating/drinking right now? Water

What are you writing RIGHT NOW? This.

Grab the nearest book to you, turn to page 19 and find the second paragraphWhat is it? She reaches her pale, elegant arm deep into the large glass ball, and rummages around. This action is preformed twenty-four times over the course of the day, and each time there is total silence across Panem.

It's from the Hunger Games Tribute Guide

What's it like being you? Crazy.

What are your thoughts on writing? I love writing. You can express feelings that you couldn't, or chose not to share with anyone else. No one can force you to write about a certain thing, or not write about a topic. It's a good way to express thoughts and beliefs that you may get judged or ridiculed about anywhere else. Writing gives you the opportunity to be very creative; the possibilities are endless.

How tall are you? About 5'1".

What book are you currently reading? Nothing. I need to go to the library and pick up a few new books lol.

Well, what do you like reading? Minds. :P

What music are you listening to? Nothing right now.

What was the last website you visited before fan fiction? Before Fanfiction? Gmail.

What was the last thing you cooked? Pasta

What color are the walls of the room you are in? Blue and green

Do you know who the governor of your state is? No?

Ketchup or Mustard? Ewww neither

How many different programs are on your computer right now? 3

What is the weather like? It's night, but I think it's clear outside and it's cold.

Anything else? Nah.

What's your favorite article of clothing?My CVC Jacket that I just ordered. :D SO EXCITED!

Who is the most special person to you? Idk

Scariest moment of your life? I was six and I was trying to cross the street. It was a busy street and we chose to cross at the bottom of a hill... Bad choice, btw. I looked both ways, and I was about half way through when a car came speeding down the hill... It stopped less than a foot away from me. .-.

One word that would best describe you? Insane

What is your favorite month in the summer? June

What's your favorite number? 3

What does your name mean? A sheltered or a place where willows grow.

Are you musically inclined? Not really

Have you ever been in a fight? I don't think I've been in a serious fight.

What is your favorite outfit? It changes like every… 6 hours.

YOUR REAL NAME: Shelby

2. YOUR GANGSTA NAME:(first 3 letters of real name plus izzle)

Sheizzle :P

3. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (fav color and fav animal):

Aqua Unicorn? :O

4. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name, and current street name):

Lynn Dunes

5. YOUR STAR WARS NAME: (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first name, last 3 letters of mom's maiden name):

Desshgab?

6. YOUR SUPERHERO NAME: (2nd favorite color, favorite drink):

Green milkshake... Doesn't sound good lol

7. YOUR ARAB NAME: (2nd letter of your first name, 3rd letter of your last name, any letter of your middle name, 2nd letter of your mom's maiden name, 3rd letter of you dad's middle name, 1st letter of a sibling's first name, last letter of your mom's middle name):

Hsyasae

8. YOUR WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (mother's middle name):

Marie

9. YOUR GOTH NAME: (black, and the name of one your pets):

Black Misty


A Hunger Games Addict’s Prayer

I promise to remember Rue

When mockingbirds’ songs wake me

I’ll think of Foxface every time

I eat a strange new berry

If my little sister pets a goat

I promise to think of Prim

And if my best friend acts depressed

Then Gale; I’ll think of him

When I toss some wood in the fire

I’ll think of Katniss every time

And I’ll always think of Peeta

When my birthday cake’s sublime

The Capitol will cross my mind

When someone is unfair

I’ll be sure to think of Clove

Each time I pretend to care

I’ll always think of Glimmer

If someone’s pretty, but a dunce

And Thresh will occupy my mind

If I spare someone, something... Once

Whenever I watch a reality show

I will think of the Hunger Games

I’ll sure imagine Haymitch

If someone calls me names

I swear to think of Cato

When I’m homicidally inclined

I’ll make sure I think of Effie

When there’s nothing on my mind

I swear to remember the Hunger Games

And Catching Fire too

Look at these silly facts too!

Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated.

Peanuts are one of the ingredients of dynamite.

The national anthem of Greece has 158 verses. No one in Greece has memorized all 158 verses.

There are 293 ways to make change for a dollar.

The average person's left hand does 56% of the typing.

A shark is the only fish that can blink with both eyes.

There are more chickens than people in the world.

Two-thirds of the world's eggplant is grown in New Jersey.

The longest one-syllable word in the English language is "screeched."

All of the clocks in the movie Pulp Fiction are stuck on 4:20.

No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, or purple.

"Dreamt" is the only English word that ends in the letters "mt."

All 50 states are listed across the top of the Lincoln Memorial on the back of the $5 bill.

Almonds are a member of the peach family.

Winston Churchill was born in a ladies' room during a dance.

Maine is the only state whose name is just one syllable.

There are only four words in the English language which end in "dous": tremendous, horrendous, stupendous, and hazardous.

Los Angeles's full name is "El Pueblo de Nuestra Senora la Reina de los Angeles de Porciuncula" and it can be abbreviated to 3.63% of its size: "LA"

A cat has 32 muscles in each ear.

An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.

Tigers have striped skin, not just striped fur.

In most advertisements, including newspapers, the time displayed on a watch is 10:10.

Al Capone's business card said he was a used furniture dealer.

The only real person to be a Pez head was Betsy Ross.

When the University of Nebraska Cornhuskers play football at home, the stadium becomes the state's third largest city.

The characters Bert and Ernie on Sesame Street were named after Bert the cop and Ernie the taxi driver in Frank Capra's "Its A Wonderful Life."

A dragonfly has a life span of 24 hours.

A goldfish has a memory span of three seconds.

A dime has 118 ridges around the edge.

On an American one-dollar bill, there is an owl in the upper left-hand corner of the "1" encased in the "shield" and a spider hidden in the front upper right-hand corner.

It's impossible to sneeze with your eyes open.

The giant squid has the largest eyes in the world.

Who's that playing the piano on the "Mad About You" theme? Paul Reiser himself.

In England, the Speaker of the House is not allowed to speak.

The name for Oz in the "Wizard of Oz" was thought up when the creator, Frank Baum, looked at his filing cabinet and saw A-N, and O-Z; hence the name "OZ".

The microwave was invented after a researcher walked by a radar tube and a chocolate bar melted in his pocket.

The average person falls asleep in seven minutes.

Mr. Rogers is an ordained minister.

John Lennon's first girlfriend was named Thelma Pickles.

There are 336 dimples on a regulation golf ball.

"Stewardesses" is the longest word that is typed with only the left hand.

You May Be A Writer If-

1. Every time you hear a song, you think of a new story or one you've already written.

2. You have the last chapters of a story done before even thinking of the characters names.

3. You often imagine your books becoming movies.

4. Spell check is your best friend.

5. You give even the smallest of characters a huge background.

6. You hesitate before killing of one of your favorite characters.

7. You smile really big when your gonna finally write a character love scene.

8. Every time you read something, you make your own story of the same thing.

9. You'll spend an hour trying to find one word cause you won't dare use a synonym.

10. Not being able to write is like not being able to pee to you... you just can't hold it in for so long.

11. You write so fast, you leave out words in a sentence.

12. You have to tell at least one person your whole story before it's even written.

13. Things that are written bad annoy you and make you want to re-write it better.

14. You laugh at jokes you wrote yourself.

15. You can spell words like 'misconstruing' but can't spell 'the' half the time.

16. If you're not writing or typing, your fingers are moving constantly.

17. You talk to yourself... constantly.

18. You forget what day it is when your writing.

19. When you have to write some sort of story in class, you get carried away.

20. You would rather die than use words like 'good' or 'nice' and etc.

21. You put off the last chapter of a story simply because you don't want it to end.

22. You start to cry when writing about a death or other depressing event you knew was coming, and you are the one writing it.

23. When on a roll, you will ignore hunger, sleepiness, or the urge to pee until you run out of ideas.

24. If a story, movie, show, etc. finishes without closure, you have a powerful need to write a suitable ending.

25. You like to fidget, tap, or chew on the tip of something when you are trying to come up with a new sentence, paragraph, chapter, or story.

26. You are in love with the Thesaurus.

27. You dream about your stories.

28. You dream of new stories.

29. You often revisit some of your old stories.

30. Someone can call your name twenty times without you hearing if you're writing.

Well I admit to doing 21 of those things… :D

How to know that you're addicted to the Hunger Games

(The bold is me).

1. Whenever you hear the word Games you think, The Hunger Games!

2.You’ve automatically started capitalizing the G in Games

3. You’re starting to spell capital Capitol, and capitalizingit.

4. You’re now saying OMGale, WTFinnick, and Shut the Peeta Bread Up

5. Primroses have automatically became one of your favorite flowers

6. You no longer think of water plants. You think Katniss.

7. You no longer spell it pita bread. It’s always Peeta bread.

8. When you see a body of water, you think District 4

9. When you see a forest you think District 7 or District 12

10. You have Rue’s Lullaby and/or The Hanging Tree memorized

11. You sing at least one of those two songs like every day

12. Kiss the Rain is now one of your favorite songs

13. You can name at least three Hunger Games fansites

14. You are a member of at least one fansite

15. You have automatically started writing in present tense and can’t stop

16. Adobe Garamond Pro (the Hunger Games font) is now one of your favorite fonts (it's not on my version of Microsoft! *cries*)

17. You screamed when you finished Catching Fire (I have read Catchimg Fire 11 times... It always goes something like this. O.O *silence* NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO. THAT'S NOT POSSIBLE! *screams* *picks up Mockingjay*)

18. You screamed when you got Mockingjay

19. You denied Finnick's death (Finnick isn't dead. He is living happily with Annie and they have beautiful children... And they visited me last week!)

20. You have read each Hunger Games book at least five times (11)

21. You have persuaded, or tried to persuade, everyone you know to read THG (Everyone I know HAS read The Hunger Games!)

22. You scream in shock when people say they haven’t read the Hunger Games

23. You read Gregor the Overlander, or want to, simply because it’s written by Suzanne Collins

24. You can barely hold it together when you read past tense books.

25. When you do read past tense books, you’re afraid you’ll lose your present tense power.

26. For Halloween you considered dressing up as a Hunger Games character.

27. You have the Hunger Games items on your wishlist.

28. You’re paranoid about your copies of the Hunger Games.

29. You’ve actually spent time figuring out the district locations (And then I realized they were all wrong)

30. You’ve been wondering on the history of Panem.

31. You actually translated Panem, the word

32. You’re quoting the Hunger Games 24/7 ("Do you find this... distracting?")

33. You know at least five translated names by heart

34. When you go to the mountain range you look for a specific flower called Rue.

35. You wanted to learn piano just so you could play Kiss the Rain

36. You tried composing a tune for The Hanging Tree (And Rue's lullaby, and was outraged when they got it all wrong in theaters)

37. You did The Hunger Games/Catching Fire/Mockingjay for your book report.

38. Everyone who hasn’t read the book thinks you’re crazy about it (I am.)

39. You dream about The Hunger Games.

40. You’re fiercely defensive of “Pita bread is awesome” (No, PEETA bread is awesome)

41. You ordered pita bread for the fun of it.

42. When you eat berries, you think of Foxface and wonder if you’ll die…

43. You’ve wondered what you’ll do if you’re in the Hunger Games (I'd be a mix of Johanna and Rue. Keep your talents secret, then attack people in the arena... And help people like Katniss. I'd live in the trees! :D)

44. When you read a non-HG book and someone dies, you scan the page for the cannon shot (Especially when the death is of one of my favorite characters. Then it's like, "They aren't dead! It's not possible! HA they can't be dead, there wasn't a cannon shot!")

45. When you find that there is no cannon shot, you think, well, he/she isn’t dead. I’ll just move on. (Duh. Finnick isn't dead. Prim isn't dead. Unfortunately, Coin and Snow aren't dead. Ren isn't dead. Alisha isn’t dead. Vivian isn’t dead. THEY AREN'T DEAD!)

46. When you read other books, you think, The Hunger Games is better than this. (The Hunger Games are the best. Duh.)

47. You believe that The Hunger Games should be required reading for all teens (The Hunger Games should be required reading for everyone, even aliens.)

48. You were so happy when you finally found someone who could talk The Hunger Games with you (I have the voice in my head. We have really long discussions about the Hunger Games! Do they count?)

49. For every team name you make, it has the term alliance in it.

50. When people ask you what city you’re from, you have to prevent yourself from saying District something (DISTRICT 2, 4, or 7)

51. You make connections between real life and The Hunger Games.

52. You cried when your library didn’t have THG in it. (BUT IT DID! :D)

53. You cried when THG didn’t make a book award.

54. You cried when THG didn’t make the Silver Birch/Red Maple award.

55. You have to refrain yourself from saying To Kill a Mockingjay.

56. You can’t think Mockingbird anymore. It’s Mockingjay.

57. You call people who talk a lot Jabberjays.

58. You’ve matched people you know to characters from the Hunger Games.

59.You have a Hunger Games desktop picture.

60.When you see a primrose you think of Prim.

61.When you see roses you think of Snow.

62. During the winter, you’ve stomped around in the snow yelling, Down with Snow!

63. When Mockingjay finished, you went to search fanfiction to keep yourself entertained (And I am still doing that)

64. You’re wondering why your Language Arts teacher hasn’t read The Hunger Games (She has.) :D

65. Whenever you hear the words The Hunger Games you automatically try and find why that’s being said.

66. When you read The Hunger Games, you wondered how you could’ve missed such a brilliant book like that.

67. When Microsoft Word claimed that Katniss, Peeta, Finnick, and some other Hunger Games terms weren’t words, you freaked. (MY PHONE KEEPS TELLING ME I'VE SPELLED THE WORDS WRONG. NO PHONE, YOU ARE WRONG!!!!!!)

68. When Word auto-corrected muttation to mutation, you freaked.

69. You have read more than thirty Hunger Games fanfics. (I've read at least 100)

70. You have written at least two Hunger Games fanfics. (I'm in the middle of writing my second one)

71. You tell people that present tense is better than past tense.

72. You were scared that the movie was going to ruin the book before you remembered that Suzanne Collins is going to write the screenplay.

74. You’ve named your pets Hunger Games names (or at least want to)

75. Your Mii characters are Hunger Games characters (No, but that would be fun to do if I was bored...)

76. You’ve designed an arena.

77. You’ve designed Quarter Quells.

78. The Hunger Games goes with you wherever you go.

79. You now love orange and green. (Just like... Sunset orange though)

80. Want to go to Panama because it sounds like Panem.

81. You love sugar cubes.

82. You say, “Team Edward? Don’t you mean Peeta?” (NO! NO FUCKING TEAMS! THIS ISN'T TWILIGHT! THE HUNGER GAMES ARE TOO FUCKING AMAZING TO HAVE TEAMS.)

83. You say, “Team Jacob? Don’t you mean Gale?” (DAMNIT. NO. FUCKING. TEAMS.)

84. You daydream about THG.

85. Your dream is to meet Suzanne Collins, or to meet her again.

86. You know everything there is to know about THG. (No... I know like... 99% of it.)

87. You play the “And may the odds… be ever in your favor!” berry game.

88. You call people Katniss and Peeta by accident.

89. You’ve made dozens of predictions for future books

90. When you finished Mockingjay, you pleaded for more (I started to cry when I read, "But there are much worse games to play," because that line means so much, and it was the end of the series! Seriously! THAT CAN'T BE THE END! I need more!!)

91. You know Suzanne Collins’s email address by heart (SOMEONE TELL IT TO ME NOW)

92. You’re planning to write a book one day.

93. You want Scholastic to publish your book. (If I write a book...)

94. When you knew there was such thing as a Hunger Games fansite, you fangirled like crazy.

95. You have Hunger Games fanart in your room.

96. You can name over 50 characters at the top of your head (Let's see... Katniss, Peeta, Rue, Gale, Hazelle, Rory, Posy, Haymitch, Cinna, Effie, Portia, Octavia, Flavius, Prim, Katniss' mom, Madge, Mayor Undersee, Cato, Clove, Brutus, Enobaria, Cashmere, Gloss, Glimmer, Marvel, Thresh, Chaff, Mags, Annie, Finnick, Foxface, Johanna, Wiress, Beetee, President Snow, Coin, Paylor, Boggs, Legg 1, Legg 2, Cressida, (did I spell that right?), Female morphling, Male Morphling, Cecelia, Woof, Silo, Plutarch Havensbee, Seeder, Delly, Greasy Sae, Claudius Templesworth, Ceasar Flickerman, Mr. Mellark, Mrs. Mellark, Cray, Maysilee, Buttercup, Seneca Crane... and many more lol)

97. You can name over 5 Hunger Games fansites.

98. You want to, or already do, take archery lessons.

99. You argue with your friends about the Hunger Games, no matter what. (No, they started ignoring me so I saw those arguments for the voices...)

100. You quote the books left and right.

101. You have Hunger Games flashbacks when someone says, "Games", "Tribute", and "Hunger."

MORE RANDOMNESS! (It just keeps going on and on….)

Eye Color: Blue-green with a ring of navy around the edges and they have specks of good in them.
Shoe Size: between size 2 and 4.
Height: 5 ft 1
Country Born: America
Where Do You Live: On Earth, But I also have a home on Mars! :3

Righty Or Lefty: Righty
Any Pets: Cats named Rusty and Misty! :)
Who are your best friends: People are my best friends…
Outgoing or introverted?: A little bit of both. It depends on how I act around you. Mostly Introverted
Favorite kind of pants: Jeans or shorts... JEAN SHORTS! :P
Favorite Number: 3
Animal: Bunny, Unicorn, Mockingjay.

Drink: Milkshake
Sport: VOLLEYBALL!

FastFood Place: Chick-Fil-A
Month: June

Perfume: Enchanted! :)
Cologne: I'm pretty darn sure I'm a girl.
Favorite cartoon character: Mabel

Given anyone a bath: My little sister.
Smoked: Never have and never will.

Bungee Jumped: I WANNA TRY IT!

Made yourself throw-up: Eww, no.

Gone skinny dipping: HELL, NO!
Put your tongue to a frozen pole: Yes.
Broken a bone: Never in the 13 years I've been alive.

Played truth or dare: Yeah.

Been in a physical fight: Maybe...

Been in a police car: No.
Come close to dying: Yeah.
Been in a hot tub: Yes.
Fallen asleep in school: Once.
Ran away: Yeah

Broken someone's heart: It's complicated...
Cried when someone died: maybe, maybe not...
Cried in school: I purposefully tried to cry at school a few days ago. Long story lol
Fell off your chair: Ha ha, yeah...good times...
Saved MSN conversations: I don't use MSN.

Best song you ever heard: Clumsy little heart, Tie me down, Hymn for the Shameless, Here I am Alive… It changes weekly.

Stupidest thing you have ever done: I do really stupid things everyday.
What's your room like: It’s weird! It’s really girly and doesn’t really suit me at all lol.
Last thing you said: "BYE BYE!”
What is beside you: My bed.

What shampoo do you use: Herbal Essences… It smells good!

Something awesome that has happened to you this year: I made CVC! (Columbia Volleyball Club)

Worst thing that has happened to you this year: My English teacher made us do speeches… >:( I HATE PUBLC SPEAKING.

Chicken pox: No.
Sore Throat: Regular or Strep? Had them both.
Broken nose: Nope.
Tonsils removed: No.

Ice cream in the morning: No thank you.
To give the heimlich: Can’t. I don’t have a liscense. IT’S ILLEGAL FOR ME TO SAVE YOUR LIFE!

Eat a live hamster for 1,000,000: Ewwwww, no!!!
Go to a Manson concert if you had a free ticket: No thanks

If you were stuck on an island, what people would you want with: The kind of people that know how to build a ship from scratch and know how to sail me home without any problems.
Who is the last person that called you: Emily. Funniest phone call ever.

Who was the last person you slow danced with: Myself. :P
What makes you laugh the most: Anything and Everything. Including other laughing.
What makes you smile: Everything lol.
What are you listening to right now: The sound of my fingers pressing down the keys on the keyboard.

What makes you happy: Things make me happy :P I know, I have very detailed answers
What did you do yesterday: Stuff. >.>
Got any awards: A few Academic ones.
What car do you wish to have: I don’t know, I’ve got three years before that really matters Do you want to get married: Yeah
If you could change anything about yourself, what would you change: Everything..
Good driver: Dude, I'm 13.
Good dancer: Don’t know
Good Singer: I don’t think so..
How many remote controls are in your house: At least 6
Last time you showered: Last night.
The last movie you saw at the theatres: The Hunger Games
Scary or happy movies: BOTH

Vanilla or chocolate: Vanilla
Skiing or Boarding: Skiing
Summer or winter: Summer.
Silver or Gold: Silver, It’s the color of duct tape. Plus silence is golden, but I enjoy screaming so….
Diamond or pearl: Definitely diamond.
Sunset or Sunrise: Sunset.
Orange juice or apple juice: APPLE JUICE!

Cats or dogs: Cats. *Meow*
Coffee or tea: HOT CHOCLATE!

Phone or in person: They're both all right. But I think I'd prefer in person more.

Oldest, middle, youngest or only child: Middle, but technically all of the above (long story)
Indoor or Outdoor: Indoor.
Sung in the shower?: Yes

Spit in someone's drink?: No
Dumped someone? : No.

Opened your Christmas presents early?: Why would I do that?

Peed outside?: Yeah… *blushes*
Seen "The Goonies" more than 10 times?: What are "The Goonies"?
Had more than five REAL bf/gf?: no

Played a computer game for more than 5 hours?: Yep!
Ran through the sprinklers naked?: No..
Ate food that fell on the floor?: Does the 5 second rule count?

Went outside naked?: Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww! Probably when I was little lol

Made out with your best friends bf/gf?: NO.
Been on stage?: Yeah.

Made someone cry?: YEAH! :P He stole my bike so it was just payback lol.
Been in a parade?: Nope
Been in a school play?: No, STAGE FRIEGHT
Drank beer?: Nope

Gotten detention?: Nope

Been on a plane?: Yes.
Been on a cruise?: No
Broken into a house?: No, my friend did though… >. Gotten piercings?: Just the ones in my ears.
Cried so hard you threw up?: No...that would be a lil' bit strange...
Gotten into a shouting match?: Yes...I WON!

Spun yourself in circles to get dizzy on purpose?: Yes, it was fun
Laughed so hard it hurt?: That's the best kind! And yes.
Tripped on your own feet?: I trip on my own feet when I'm standing still...not kidding...
Cried yourself to sleep?: Maybe...
Cried in public?: Yeah… *Hangs head in shame*
Lied to your parents?: Yes I have
Skipped class?: No, I have not.
Do you like filling these out: Yeah it’s fun!
Do you wear contacts or glasses?: Nope.
Do you like yourself: In all honesty, no I do not.

Do you get along with your family: Usually.
Have piercings below the waist: Uh, no.
Stolen anything over 30: Haha no.
Obsessive: Sometimes…
Compulsive: Just a little

Want to have children?: Yeah..
Like mornings?: NO!
Enjoy seafood?: No >. BEFORE MARRIGE:

Wife: Honey?
Husband: Yes!
Wife: Do you hate me?
Husband: No, why would you think that!
Wife: Do you love me?
Husband: Of Course! Always have and always will!
Wife: Have you ever cheated on me?
Husband: Never in my life!
Wife: Will you kiss me?
Husband: Every chance I get!
Wife: Will you smack me?
Husband: No, why would I?
Wife: Do you think I'm pretty?
Husband: Yes!
Wife: Honey!
AFTER MARRIGE: READ FROM BOTTOM TO TOP

What's my element?

Fire
[X] You have a short temper
[X] You often act on your emotions without thinking first
[X] You are very competitive
[X] You like to play with fire
[X] You are not a strong swimmer or you can't swim at all
[X] You prefer warm weather over cold weather
] You often lose control over yourself
[X] You can be quite reckless
[X] You sometimes hurt people without realizing it
[X] People have often called you insane

9/10

Water
] You have a calm, laid-back personality
[X] You like to go to the beach
] You rarely get angry
[X] When you do get angry, you know how to control it
[ ]You think before you act.
[X] You are good at breaking up fights.
] You are a great swimmer.
[X] You like the rain.
]You can stay calm in stressful situations.
] You are very generous.

4/10

Earth
] You are physically strong.
[X] You have a close connection with nature.
[X]You don't mind getting dirty.
[X] You form strong opinions on issues that concern you.
[X] You could easily survive in the wild
[X] You care about the environment.
] You can easily focus on your work without getting distracted. [ ] You rarely get depressed.
[X]You aren't afraid of anything.
] You prefer to have a strict set of rules.

6/10

Air:
[ ]You have a free spirit.
[X] You hate rules.
[X] You prefer to be out in the open rather than in small, enclosed spaces.
[X] You hate to be restrained.
[X] You are independent.
[X] You are quite intelligent
[X] You tend to be impatient. [X] You are easily distracted.
[X] You can sometimes be hyperactive and/or annoying.
[X]You wish you could fly.

9/10

Element: Fire and Air… :D

7 Ways to Scare your roommates

7) Buy some knives. Sharpen them every night. While you're doing so, look at your roommate and mutter, "Soon, soon..."

6) Collect hundreds of pens and pile them on one side of the room. Keep one pencil on the other side of the room. Laugh at the pencil.

5) Tell your roommate, "I've got an important message for you." Then pretend to faint. When you recover, say you can't remember what the message was. Later on, say, "Oh, yeah, I remember!" Pretend to faint again. Keep this up for several weeks.

4) While your roommate is out, glue your shoes to the ceiling. When your roommate walks in, sit on the floor, hold your head, and moan.

3) Make a sandwich. Don't eat it, leave it on the floor. Ignore the sandwich. Wait until your roommate gets rid of it, and then say, "Hey, where the heck is my sandwich?" Complain loudly that you are hungry.

2) Every time your roommate walks in yell, "Hooray! You're back!" as loud as you can and dance around the room for five minutes. Afterwards, keep looking at your watch and saying, "Shouldn't you be going somewhere?"

1) Talk back to your Rice Krispies. All of a sudden, act offended, throw the bowl on the floor and kick it. Refuse to clean it up, explaining, "No, I want to watch them suffer."


16 ways to perplex, confuse or just scare people in a Computer Lab

1. Log on, wait a sec, then get a frightened look on your face and scream "Oh my God! They've found me!" and bolt.
2. Laugh uncontrollably for about 3 minutes & then suddenly stop and look suspiciously at everyone who looks at you.
3. When your computer is turned off, complain to the monitor on duty that you can't get the darn thing to work. After he/she's turned it on, wait 5 minutes, turn it off again, & repeat the process for a good half hour.
4. Type frantically, often stopping to look at the person next to you evily.
5. Before anyone else is in the lab, connect each computer to a different screen than the one it's set up with.
6. Write a program that plays the "Smurfs" theme song and play it at the highest volume possible over & over again.
7. Work normally for a while. Suddenly look amazingly startled by something on the screen and crawl underneath the desk.
8. Ask the person next to you if they know how to tap into top-secret Pentagon files.
9. Make a small ritual sacrifice to the computer before you turn it on.
10. Bring a chainsaw, but don't use it. If anyone asks why you have it, say "Just in case..." mysteriously.
11. Type on Chatroullette for a while. Suddenly start cursing for 3 minutes at everything bad about your life. Then stop and continue typing.
12. Light candles in a pentagram around your terminal before starting.
13. Every time you press Return and there is processing time required, pray "Ohpleaseohpleaseohpleaseohplease," and scream "YES!" when it finishes.
14. Laugh hysterically, shout "You will all perish in flames!!!" and continue working.
15. Point at the screen. Chant in a made up language while making elaborate hand gestures for a minute or two. Press return or the mouse, then leap back and yell "COVEEEEERRRRRR!" peek up from under the table, walk back to the computer and say. "Oh, good. It worked this time," and calmly start to type again.
16. Pull out a pencil. Start writing on the screen. Complain that the lead doesn't work.

If I were a tribute...

District- Hmmm… I’d say… 7.

Allies- A small group of useful people.

Interview angle- Determined and mysterious, maybe a little sarcastic.

Strategy- Run away with alliance, Attack people that come near me, and eventually turn against my allies since it probably will be necessary. Finally, I’ll hide in a tree near the cornucopia and kill people as the walk underneath the tree, hopefully being able to kill the final tribute without having to face them in a close-combat battle.

Strengths- I'm fast, I have good reaction times, I’m small so I can easily hide, I have decent aim, my memory is good, I can climb, I’m pretty clever, I’m good at being quiet, and I’m a fast learner. Oh and I am a light sleeper so it’s hard to sneak up on me, plus I like fire… not sure if that’s a strength or a weakness

Weaknesses- I’m not strong like… at all. I’m not super stealthy, my pain tolerance is low, I can’t use most weapons, I space out a lot, I have trouble keepinmg calm in stressful situations, I’m not a great swimmer, my social skills aren’t amazing, and I have low stamina. In close-combat, I’d probably refuse to fatally wound the other person, and my knowledge of first aid and plants is like… non-existant.

To Do:

1. Old telephone books make ideal personal address books. Simply cross out the names and addresses of people you don't know.

2. Fool other drivers into thinking you have an expensive car phone by holding an old TV or video remote control up to your ear and occasionally swerving across the road and mounting the curb.

3. Lose weight quickly by eating raw pork and rancid tuna. I found that the subsequent food poisoning enabled me to lose 12 pounds in only 2 days.

4. Avoid parking tickets by leaving your windshield wipers turned to fast wipe whenever you leave your car parked illegally.

5. No time for a bath? Wrap yourself in masking tape and remove the dirt by simply peeling it off.

6. Apply red nail polish to your nails before clipping them. The red nails will be much easier to spot on your bathroom carpet. (Unless you have a red carpet, in which case a contrasting polish should be selected).

7. If a person is choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a jug of boiling water down their throat and presto! The blockage is almost instantly removed.

8. Save on booze by drinking cold tea instead of whiskey. The following morning you can create the effects of hangover by drinking a thimble full of dish washing liquid and banging your head repeatedly on the wall.

Useless Inventions

1. Non stick Cellotape

2. Solar Powered Flash Light

3. A black highlighter pen

4. Glow in the dark sunglasses

5. Inflatable Anchor

6. Smooth Sandpaper

7. Waterproof sponge

8. Waterproof Teabags

9. AC adapter for Solar powered calculators

10. Fireproof Matches

11. Fireproof Cigarettes

12. Battery powered Battery Charger

13. Seatbelts for Motorbikes

14. Hand powered Chainsaw

15. Inflatable Dartboard

16. Silent Alarm Clock

17. A Pedal powered wheelchair

18. Braille Drivers Manual

19. Double sided playing cards

20. Ejector seats for Helicopters

Things You Wouldn't Know Without The Tube All Of Life's Mysteries Are On TV

1. If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises wearing their most revealing underwear.

2. If being chased through town, you can usually take cover in a passing St Patrick's Day parade - at any time of the year.

3. All beds have special L-shaped top sheets that reach up to armpit level on a woman but only waist level on the man lying beside her.

4. All grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick of French bread.

5. It's easy for anyone to land a plane, providing there is someone in the control tower to talk you down.

6. Once applied, lipstick will never rub off - even while scuba diving.

7. The ventilation system of any building is a perfect hiding place. No one will ever think of looking for you in there and you can travel to any other part of the building without difficulty.

8. You're likely to survive any battle in any war unless you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of you sweetheart back home.

9. Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, it will not be necessary to speak the language. A German accent will do.

10. The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window of any building in Paris.

11. People of TV never finish their drinks.

12. A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.

13. The chief of police is always black.

14. When paying for a taxi, never look at your wallet as you take out a note - just grab one at random and hand it over. It will always be the exact fare.

15. If you lose a hand, it will cause the stump of your arm to grow by 15cm.

16. Kitchens don't have light switches. When entering a kitchen at night, you should open the fridge door and use that light instead.

17. During all police investigations, it will be necessary to visit a strip club at least once.

18. Mothers routinely cook eggs, bacon and waffles for their family every morning, even though the husband and children never have time to eat them.

19. Cars and trucks that crash will almost always burst into flames.

20. Wearing a singlet or stripping to the waist can make a man invulnerable to bullets.

21. A single match will be sufficient to light up a room the size of a football stadium.

22. If a killer is lurking in your house, it's easy to find him. Just relax and run a bath - even if it's the middle of the afternoon.

23. Medieval peasants had perfect teeth.

24. Although in the 20th century it is possible to fire weapons at an object out of visual range, people of the 23rd century will have lost this technology.

25. All single women have a cat.

26. Any person waking from a nightmare will sit bolt upright and pant.

27. Even when driving down a perfectly straight road, it is necessary to turn the steering wheel vigorously from left to right every few moments.

28. One man shooting at 20 men has a better chance of killing them all than 20 men firing at one.

29. Creepy music coming from a graveyard should always be closely investigated.

30. If a phone line is broken, communication can be restored by frantically beating the cradle and saying, "Hello?, Hello?"

31. Most people keep a scrapbook of newspaper cuttings - especially if any of their family or friends has died in a strange boating accident.

32. It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involved martial arts - your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessor.

33. During a very emotional confrontation, instead of facing the person you are speaking to, it is customary to stand behind them and talk to their back.

34. When you turn out the light to go to bed, everything in your room will still be clearly visible, just slightly bluish.

35. Dogs always know who's bad and will naturally bark at them.

36. Police departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite.

37. When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other.

38. Action heroes never face charges for manslaughter or criminal damage despite laying entire cities to waste.

39. No matter how badly a spaceship is attacked, its internal gravity system is never damaged.

40. If there is a deranged killer on the loose, this will coincide with a thunderstorm that has brought down all the power and phone lines in the vicinity.

41. You can always find a chain saw whenever you're likely to need one.

42. Rather than wasting bullets, megalomaniacs prefer to kill their arch-enemies using complicated machinery involving fuses, pulley systems, deadly gases, lasers and man eating sharks that will allow their captives at least 20 minutes to escape.

43. Having a job of any kind will make all fathers forget their son's eighth birthday.

44. Many musical instruments - especially wind instruments and accordions - can be played without moving the fingers.

45. All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they're going to go off.

46. It is always possible to park directly outside the building you are visiting.

47. Guns are like disposable razors - if you run out of bullets, just throw the gun away. You can always buy a new one.

48. Make-up can safely be worn to bed without smudging.

49. A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.

50. If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you bump into will know all the steps.

Girls are like
apples on trees.
The best ones are
at the top of the tree. The boys don’t want to reach
for the good ones because they
are afraid of falling and geting hurt.
Instead, they just get the rotten apples
from the ground that aren't as good,
but easy. So the apples at the top think
something is wrong with them, when in
reality they are amazing. They just
have to wait for the right boy to
come along, the one who's
brave enough to
climb all
the way
to the top
of the tree.

15 Things to do when you're in Walmart!

1. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

2. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

3. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,
" 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.

4. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

5. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

6. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

7. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask,
"Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

8. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

9. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.

10. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

11. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look"

12. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through,
say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

13. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream, "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!"

14. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"

15. Grab a lot of bouncy balls and throw them down the aisle, shouting "Go, Pikachu, Go!"

Reasons why girls are the best

1. We got off the Titanic first

2. We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls, and are nice to us when we blow up our computers.

3. Our boyfriend's clothes make us look elfin & gorgeous. Guys look like complete idiots in ours.

4. We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.

5. We can cry and get off speeding fines.

6. We've never lusted after a cartoon character or the central female figure in a computer game.

7. Taxis stop for us.

8. Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance.

9. We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.

10. Free drinks, Free dinners, Free movies ... (you get the point).

11. We can hug our friends without wondering if she thinks we're gay.

12. We can hug our friends without wondering if WE'RE gay.

13. New lipstick gives us a whole new lease on life.

14. It's possible to live our whole lives without ever taking a group shower.

15. We don't have to fart to amuse ourselves.

16. If we forget to shave, no one has to know.

17. We can congratulate our team-mate without ever touching her butt.

18. If we have a zit, we know how to conceal it.

19. We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there.

20. If we're dumb, some people will find it cute.

21. We don't have to memorize Caddyshack or Fletch to fit in.

22. We have the ability to dress ourselves.

23. We can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.

24. If we marry someone 20 years younger, we're aware that we look like an idiot.

25. Our friends won't think we're weird if we ask whether there's spinach in our teeth.

26. There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.

27. We'll never regret piercing our ears.

28. We can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes.

29. We know which glass was ours by the lipstick mark.

WARNING SIGNS THAT YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH THE HUNGER GAMES

You laugh when you hear a person with a British accent say 'Peter', because it sounds like 'Peeta'.

- You go to Best Buy and there's an employee who is balding and bespectacled, and you ask him for help just because he looks like Beetee.

- You listen to music and imagine scenes from The Hunger Games that play along with the music

- You want to take up archery just because Katniss does it.

- You hear a boom of thunder, and you scream "SOMEONE JUST DIED!!!!"

- You see a wasp's nest and tell your friends "Don't go near them, Tracker Jackers induce terrible hallucinations."

- You are asked where the capital of America is, and you answer "Somewhere in the Rockies."

- You almost scream when you see a rose.

- You go to a floral store and buy some Primrose and Rue.

- You see a hot guy and say "HI FINNICK!"

- You find an item and say what District it's from.

- You buy a trinket and go "Hee hee, Effie!"

- You start to wear your hair like Katniss does.

- You don't want to make games when you grow up because then you will be like Seneca Crane. (Get it? Make Games? Gamemaker?)

- You learn about the ancient philosopher Plutarch of Chaeronea and you scream "GOOOOO REBELLION!!!!"

- You hate snow because Katniss hates Snow.

- You hear the national anthem and go "Shut up, the faces are going to appear in the sky now!"

- You board a plane and imagine that you are Katniss getting picked up by the hovercraft in the 75th Hunger Games.

- You plan out a strategy for the arena.

- You draw your own map of Panem.

- You write long stories about the characters on Fanfiction

- You Google "What District of Panem am I from?"

- You read Charlotte's Web and think, 'Hey, they're from District 10!'

- You see a dog and scream "MUTTS!"

- You search 'Katniss' on Wikipedia.

- You are strongly devoted to either Team Peeta or Team Gale and defend your side with ferocity.

- You study gladiators in Roman History, and you go "Oh, like the Hunger Games!"

- You go to a beach and pretend that you're on the beach in the 75th Hunger Games

- You have made Hunger Games fan videos

- You know the fan-made song 'I'm Peeta and I Know It' by heart

- You meet a person named Gale and say "I know you wanted Katniss, but Peeta was honestly a better match for her."

- You relate events in your life to the Hunger Games.

- You hear the word "reap" and thoughts of horror fill your mind.

- You are in school and the teacher asks for any volunteers to present their project first. You scream "I VOLUNTEER AS TRIBUTE!"

- You want to see the movie District 9 because you think it has something to do with the Hunger Games

- You crave lamb and plum stew.

- You climb a tree and pretend you're Rue.

- You go to the dentist and think about Enobaria.

- You have a well thought-out theory about the Foxface Suicide argument.

- You want to buy an orange backpack.

- You study the Cornucopia for Thanksgiving and you think about the Bloodbath.

- You have named Foxface.

- You see white liquor and think of Haymitch.

- You memorized the industry of each District.

- You have taken sides about whether D6's industry is transportation or medicine. (It's transportation)

- You have taken sides about whether D9's industry is grain or muttations. (It's grain)

- You saw the midnight premiere of The Hunger Games

- You see a dinner knife and think "Oops, did Clove drop this?"

- You laugh at the irony of the fact that "Cato' means 'wise' in Latin.

- You say the word 'marvelous' much more often in tribute to Marvel.

- You have dubbed all your friends Hunger Games characters.

- You have participated in an SYOT

Now for Random Notes From Facebook!

I have a….

[x] Mother

[x] Father

[x] Step-Father

[x] Step-Mother

] Step Sister

[x] Step Brother

] Brother

] Brother In Law

[x] Sister

] Sister In Law

[x] Half sister

] Half brother

] Nephew

] Niece

] Boyfriend/Girlfriend

[x] Mobile phone

] Own bathroom

[x] Own room

] Have/had a swimming pool

] Have/had a hot tub

[x] Guest room

[x] Living Room

[x] Own computer

] Own TV

Total: 12

] Full size/Queen bed

[x] More than 8 pairs of shoes

[x] MP3 Player/iPod

] PS1/2/3

[x] Nintendo DS or PSP

[x] Gameboy/Advance

[x] Gamecube

] xbox/ xbox 360

[x] Wii

[x] Own Laptop

Total so far: 19

] Basketball net/hoop

] Air hockey table

[x] Pool table

] Ping pong table

] Fooseball table

Total so far: 20

[x] Night stand

[x] Stereo in bedroom

] DVD player in bedroom/portable

Total so far: 22

] Go shopping at least once a week

] Expensive cologne/perfume

] AIM/MSN

[x] camera on phone

Total so far: 23

] Had Go Cart/car/quad

] Guitar/drums/bass guitar

[x] Piano/Keyboard

] Any other instrument

] Been on a cruise

] Traveled out of the country

] Traveled out of the continent

] Had a personal trainer

[x] Expensive jewelery

[x] Met a Celeb

Total so far: 26

[x] Straightener/curling iron

] Have been to a batting cage

[x] Have $100 on you right now in your pocket/wallet

] Credit card or ATM card or debit card or bank card

] Have a TV in your room

[x] Mirror in your room

Total so far: 29

[x] Window in your room

] Been to Paris

] Been to Rome

] Been to the Bahamas

] Been to Mexico

]Been to Jamaica

Total so far: 30

[x] Parents have a car

] Have owned or own a Jet ski/boat

[x] Had/have Camped

[x] Been to 3 states

[x] 80 buddies on facebook/myspace

Total so far: 34

[x]Home cooked meal almost everyday

] Been in a limo

] Been in a helicopter

[x] Own a camera

[x] Have been to Disneyland/World more than 2 times

Total: 37

26-40 = Average Teen!

41-50 = Spoiled Teen!

51 = Upper Class Snob!

1. Put your iTunes/Napster/Zune Player/WinAmp/etc on shuffle.

2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.

3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS!

IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY" YOU SAY?

Kiss me again- We Are The In Crowd (Ummm… that’s awkward!)

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?

Men In Black- Forever The Sickest Kids

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?

Powerless- Linkin Park

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?

The Only Difference Between Martyrdom and Suicide is Press Coverage- Panic! At the Disco.

WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?

Stuff is Messed Up- The Offspring

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?

Take a Step Back- Every Avenue

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR PARENTS?

Girls Just Wanna Have Fun (Feat, Adam Lazzara)- The Maine

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?

My Last Breath- Evanescence

WHAT IS 22?

Nine In The Afternoon- Panic! At The Disco.

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?

Heartless- Fake Problems

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?

You’re Trying To Kill Me- Lionize

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?

Crazy- Simple Plan

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?

Blood Drunk- Larry and His Flask

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?

I Kissed a Girl- Attack! Attack! (AWKWARD!)

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?

I Can’t Not Love You- Every Avenue

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?

Let’s Kill Tonight- Panic! At The Disco.

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?

Bulletproof- Family Force 5 (Well… obviously not bulletproof >.>)

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?

Bloody Poetry- Grieves

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?

Everybody’s Fool- Evanescence

WHAT'S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?

My Happy Ending- Avril Lavigne

HOW WILL YOU DIE?

Here I am Alive- Yellowcard (THAT MAKES NO SENSE!)

WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU REGRET?

Days of the Old- Every Avenue

WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH?

Misery Buisness- Paramore

WHAT MAKES YOU CRY?

That Girl- All Time Low

WILL YOU EVER GET MARRIED?

Never Again- Kelly Clarkson

WHAT SCARES YOU THE MOST?

Elephants- Our Last Night

DOES ANYONE LIKE YOU?

Picture Perfect?- Every Avenue

IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE?

No Idea- All Time Low

WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW?

Grenade- Memphis May Fire

ANOTHER WEIRD THING:

Start with 100% and subtract 1% for everything that you've done.

Then repost as you're _% Virgin. Lowest number you have the more you've done!

100%

()Smoked.

() Drank alcohol.

(x) Cried when someone died.

() Been drunk.

() Had sex.

(x) Been to a concert.

() gotten/given a handjob.

() gotten/given a blowjob.

(x) Been verbally/sexually harassed.

(X) Verbally/sexually harassed somebody.

PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 96%

() Felt someone up and/or been felt up.

(x) Laughed so hard something came out of your nose.

() Cheated on a boyfriend/girlfriend before.

() Been cheated on by a boyfriend/girlfriend.

() Been to prom.

(X) Cried at school.

(x) Gotten lost in a WalMart or a department store.

() Went streaking.

(x) Given or received a lap dance. (Dare at camp… HORRIFYING!)

() Had someone of the opposite sex in your room.

PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 92%

() Had someone of the opposite sex sleep over.

() Slept over at someone of the opposite sex's house.

() Kissed a stranger.

(x) Hugged a stranger.

(X) Went scuba diving.

() Driven a car.

(X) Gotten an x-ray.

() Hit by a car.

(X) Had a party.

() Done serious drugs.

PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 88%

() Played strip poker/darts.

() Got paid to strip for someone.

(x) Run away from home.

() Broken a bone.

() Eaten sushi.

() Bought porn.

(x) Watched porn. (Not intentional, long story lol)

() Made porn.

() Had a crush on someone of the same sex.

() Been in love.

PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 86%

() Made Out.

(x) Laughed so hard you cried.

(x) Cried yourself to sleep.

(x) Laughed yourself to sleep.

() Stabbed yourself.

() Shot a gun.

(x) Trash talked someone and then acted like their best friend the next day.

(x) Been online for 9 consecutive hours.

(X) Watched TV for 9 consecutive hours.

() Watched an animal die.

PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 80%

() Watched a person die.

() Kissed and/or messed around somewhere with at least 1 person.

(x) Pranked somebody.

() Put somebody in the hospital.

() Snuck into someone's room and/or your own room after being out

() Kissed somebody of the same sex.

(x) Dressed punk.

(X) Dressed goth.

(x) Dressed preppy.

() Been to a motocross race.

PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 76%

(X) Avoided somebody.

(x) Been stalked.

() Stalked someone.

(X) Met a celebrity.

(x) Played an instrument.

(X) Ridden a horse.

(x) Cut yourself.

() Bungee jumped.

(x) Ding dong ditched somebody.

() Been to a wild party.

PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 69%

(x) Got caught stealing something.

(x) Kicked/punched a guy in the balls.

() Stolen a boyfriend/girlfriend from a friend.

() Gone out with your friend's crush.

() Got arrested.

() Been pregnant.

() Babysat.

() Been to another country.

(x) Started your house on fire.

(X) Had an encounter with a ghost.

PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 65%

(x) Donated your hair to cancer patients.

(x) Been asked out by someone that you never thought you'd be asked out by.

(X) Cried over a member of the opposite sex.

() Had a boyfriend/girlfriend for over 3 months.

(x) Sat on your butt all day.

(x) Ate a whole carton of ice cream all by yourself.

() Had a job.

() Gotten cut from a sports team.

(X) Been called a whore.

(x) Danced like a whore.

PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 58%

() Been mistaken as older than your own age.

(x) Been in a car accident.

(x) Been told you have beautiful eyes.

(X) Been told you have beautiful hair.

() Raped somebody.

(x) Danced in the rain.

() Been rejected.

() Walked out of a restaurant without paying.

(x) Punched someone/slapped someone in the face.

() Been raped.

TOTAL PERCENTAGE: 53%

MY THOUGHTS ON CUPCAKES VS. MUFFINS.

You’ve all heard that muffins are just ugly cupcakes, right? People say that cupcakes are better because of this, but you can’t judge food on its appearance, just like you can’t judge a book by its cover. Regardless of their appearance, muffins are superior to cupcakes because they are better for you, they come in more flavors than cupcakes do, and can be served at more than one meal within a day. First, muffins are healthier than cupcakes are. In fact, cupcakes on average have two times more sugar in them than muffins do. Muffins generally have a fruit, like blueberries, or source of protein in them, like nuts, which is more than you can expect to find in a cupcake. Second, due to the fact that muffins are denser than cupcakes, muffins are able to support bolder flavors like blueberry and banana nut. If you ever try to make a blueberry cupcake, you will discover that it does not work out quite as well. While you can, in fact, make a cupcake with one of these flavors, it will not hold its shape as well as a muffin would. Muffins are also able d to be made in simple flavors such as vanilla or chocolate, which gives them a larger variety of flavors than you can get from a cupcake. Finally, muffins can be served on more than one occasion within a day. Unlike cupcakes, which are strictly dessert foods, muffins can be served at breakfast, dessert, and even dinner depending on the kind. Muffins are one sweet treat that you can have even if you don’t finish all your vegetables, and what could be greater than that? Seriously, next time you want a delicious treat, pick up a muffin, it’s calling for you.

Well…. That’s the end of my profile page! There are probably a few repeats in there but…. Whatever XD.

I Officially Declare My Page…. Almost done.

I’m not weird, I’m gifted… ok and weird.

MY PAGE IS ABOUT 118 PAGES LONG! :O SHIT IT’S REALLY REALLY LONG LOL. 28,000 words… about.

Anyway, if you actually read that all…. You have too much free time, but good for you! I’ll give you an internet cookie. CHOCOLATE CHIP! Also, You can have this free virtual knife. You can keep it or throw it at me for making such a long profile page. BYE! :D

OH WAIT! Before I go, I have a few things left to say...

THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU LET ME GO TO THE FEILD OF SCREAMS:

*NOTE*I was dressed in pink and I had high pigtails and heart earrings and I skipped around half the time... field of screams is supposed to be extremely scary and... yeah. IT WAS FUN!

"I AM A PRETTY PONY, AND EVEN IF I AM AN UGLY PONY, I AM STILL A PONY AND YOU HAVE TO ACCEPT THAT! RAWR RAWR RAWR RAWR RAWR! PRETTY PONIES GO RAWR RAWR RAWR RAWR RAWR RAWR RAWR RAWR RAWR RAWR RAWR RAWR RAWR RAWR RAWR RAWR RAWR RAWR RAWR RAWR RAWR RAWR RAWR RAWR RAWR RAWR RAWR RAWR RAWR RAWR RAWR RAWR RAWR RAWR RAWR RAWR RAWR RAWR RAWR RAWR RAWR RAWR RAWR RAWR RAWR RAWR RAWR RAWR RAWR RAWR RAWR RAWR RAWR RAWR RAWR RAWR RAWR RAWR RAWR RAWR RAWR RAWR RAWR RAWR RAWR RAWR RAWR RAWR RAWR RAWR RAWR RAWR RAWR RAWR RAWR RAWR! RAWR!"- EMILY

"I LIKE UNICORNS, AND RAINBOWS, AND GLITTER, AND PUPPIES, AND KILLING PEOPLE IN THEIR SLEEP, AND KITTY CATS, AND FLUFFYNESS, AND SPARKLES, AND SLITTING PEOPLE'S THROATS OPEN, AND SEQUINS, AND PONIES, AND PINK, AND FIRE, AND POISON, AND BUNNY RABBITS, AND PRINCESSES, AND SKIRTS, AND DID I MENTION UNICORNS?, AND TORTURING PEOPLE TO DEATH, AND MY MOMMY SAID THAT IF I DIDN'T KILL ANYONE TONIGHT, I'D HAVE TO SLEEP IN THE BASEMENT, AND I REALLY DON'T LIKE THE BASEMENT, SO WOULD YOU MIND IF I CAME OVER TO YOUR HOUSE AT LIKE... 4? I GUESS IT DOESNT REALL MATTER IF YOU CARED, YOU WOULDN'T BE AROUND LATER TO GET ANGRY AT ME ABOUT IT!"- ME

"YOU SMELL DELICIOUS!"- EMILY
"NO I DON'T, I SMELL LIKE TRASH!"- RANDOM WORKER
"NO SHE'S RIGHT, YOU SMELL FANTASTIC!"- ME

"HEY WANNA BE BFFs?"- ME
"NO!"- RANDOM WORKER 1
"AWWW WHY NOT?"- EMILY
"BECAUSE YOU GUYS ARE LOSERS."- RANDOM WORKER 2
"THANK YOU!"- EMILY
"AWWW THAT'S SO SWEET! IT'S LIKE... THE NICEST COMPLIMENT EVER!"-ME

"WANNA BE BFFs? WE COULD PLAY GAMES LIKE CHESS, AND CHECKERS... AND WE CAN PAINT EACH OTEHRS NAILS..."- ME
"SURE! I WANNA PLAY THE GAME 'RIP OUT YOUR INTESTINES'"- RANDOM WORKER
"YAY! I LOVE THAT GAME! HOW ABOUT WE PLAY TOMORROW AT 5?"- ME

"CHAINSAWS TICKLE!"- ME

"WE SHOULD TOTALLY WORK HERE NEXT YEAR. I COULD WEAR A WHITE DRESS AND THEN SING 'ONE TWO, BUCKLE MY SHOE. THREE FOUR, SHUT THE DOOR. FIVE SIX, PICK UP STICKS. SEVEN EIGHT, SHUT THE GATE. NINE TEN... NOW YOU'RE DEAD.' REALLY SOFTLY AND THEN SOMEONE ELSE COULD ATTACK THEM WITH A CHAINSAW."- ME

"WE'RE OFF TO SEE THE WIZARD, THE WONDERFUL WIZARD OF OZ! BECAUSE BECAUSE BECAUSE BECAUSE BECAUSE BECAUSE BECAUSE, BECAUSE OF THE WONDERFUL THINGS HE DOES!"- EMILY AND I

"COME AT ME BRO!"- ME

"...YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO GO THAT WAY."- RANDOM WORKER
"OH..."- ME

"YOU CAN'T RUN FROM ME! YOU CAN'T HIDE! I WILL FIND YOOOOOOUUUUUU! OH, THAT TICKLES!"- EMILY

"WHO WANTS TO SEE A GIRL'S HEAD GET CHOPPED OFF?!?"- EXECUTIONER
"NO! YOU CAN'T DO THIS! HELP!"- GIRL
"NO! THESE PEOPLE WANT YOU TO DIE!"- EXECUTIONER
"NO! YOU CAN'T KILL HER! SHE'S MY BEST FRIEND!"- EMILY
"YEAH, WELL, I THOUGHT SHE WAS MY BEST FRIEND TOO, BUT SHE'S NOT. SO SHE'LL HAVE TO DIE!!"- EXECUTIONER TO EMILY
"NOOOO!!!"- EMILY
"NOOOOO!!"- GIRL
"NO MATTER WHAT, I STILL LOVE YOU!!"- EMILY TO GIRL
"I LOVE YOU TOO!!"- GIRL
"TIME TO DIE!!"- EXECUTIONER
"NOOO!!! SHE WAS MY BEST FRIEEEND!!!"- EMILY

"I LIKE YOUR FACE!"- EMILY

Oh... good times! :D That was all capitalized because... I felt like it.

Shelby

THE END!

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

The 18th: Standing in their Graves by Chaos In Her Wake reviews
It is time yet again for children to become murderers, time again for twenty-four young lives to be sacrificed. Muttations will tear at naked flesh and cruel laughs will echo through the dreaded Arena. Under the cruel hand of an evil Head Gamemaker, who will be condemned to a life worse than death? May the odds be ever in your favor. I do not own THG.
Hunger Games - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 36 - Words: 159,343 - Reviews: 568 - Favs: 35 - Follows: 34 - Updated: 1/10 - Published: 1/10/2013 - Other tributes - Complete
87th Games: The Darkness by Jinx Kalantha reviews
When you first arrive here, (this beginning of your end, and the beginning of our entertainment,) the only thing you will hear is your own heartbeat-and then your scream, followed by many others-and then, maybe even your death. Before you left, we celebrated your life before your bloody, gruesome death. Can you survive the darkness? Or will you fall like the rest? SYOT OPEN!
Hunger Games - Rated: T - English - Horror/Adventure - Chapters: 3 - Words: 1,928 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 5/10/2013 - Published: 4/6/2013
Just Smile and Don't Look Back by happystars reviews
Alban, a 15 year old boy from District 9, has just become tribute in the 21st Hunger Games. Will he be able to survive bloodthirsty careers, sadistic gamemakers, and overall insanity?
Hunger Games - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 2,357 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 5/5/2013 - Published: 4/26/2013 - Other tributes
The Graveyard by Lyric-Sama reviews
For the 125 Hunger Games and the 5th Quarter Quell, the Gamemakers have gotten creative. And spooky. The night will call in this years Games as every tribute is given the persona of a Halloween Character. Witches, vampires, and ninjas will fight to the death, only one ghoul can live... Right? SYOT CLOSED.
Hunger Games - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Fantasy - Chapters: 12 - Words: 11,102 - Reviews: 77 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 18 - Updated: 11/12/2012 - Published: 9/12/2012 - Other tributes
Genius and Insanity by bballgirl32 reviews
"The Capitol wants an underdog. They like someone they can root for. How do you feel about turning your little infatuation into a story of doomed love?" I smile at my mentor. Sponsors will be dying to spend money on me. "...I'll do it." SEQUEL UP!
Hunger Games - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 22 - Words: 118,188 - Reviews: 535 - Favs: 256 - Follows: 185 - Updated: 10/9/2012 - Published: 4/26/2012 - Marvel, Katniss E. - Complete
The 150th Hunger Games: Mutant Meltdown! by Jodeh reviews
Another year, another slaughter! What makes it better is that it's a Quarter Quell! Welcome to the 150th Hunger Games, and may the odds be ever in your favor!
Hunger Games - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Suspense - Chapters: 5 - Words: 3,447 - Reviews: 45 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 11 - Updated: 6/19/2012 - Published: 4/23/2012 - Other tributes
Looks Can Be Deceiving reviews
With the looks of an angel and an innocent smile, Lacey is automatically counted out as the victor of the 33rd Hunger Games. They are judging her by her appearance, but will her past be enough to help her come out of the arena alive? Or will she be in a wooden coffin on the way back to her district when the victor is crowned? Rated T for a reason!
Hunger Games - Rated: T - English - Horror/Adventure - Chapters: 8 - Words: 34,184 - Reviews: 35 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 11 - Updated: 3/10/2013 - Published: 9/23/2012 - Other tributes, Pres. Snow