Torkidog
hide bio
PM . Follow . Favorite
Joined 04-24-12, id: 3953672, Profile Updated: 07-19-12
Author has written 2 stories for Uglies, and Criminal Minds.

Hi! It's Torkidog! I love writing, not that I'm any good at it. But ya know... I write mostly about Criminal Minds (tv) and The Clique (book). I read a lot more variety of fanfictions, though. I currently have two stories on here- In the Eyes of a Natural and Opening the Past. In the Eyes of a Natural is about a book called Uglies. I currently have two more chapters written, but my laptop crashed. Opening the past is about Emily Prentiss from Criminal Minds. I started writing it on my phone, but I can't update on there, so I now switched to a different computer. I have about three chapters written.


Us Criminal Minds Finatics know what I am talking about. Courtesy of PretzelDog

1. You know the exact date and time Criminal minds comes on

2. You miss Gideon and you still believe he will come back one day.

3. Yes, Dr. Spencer Reid is a Genius

4. You know that Hotch doesn’t smile at almost anything anymore

5. You hate Kevin Lynch with a passion and whishes that he would just “disappear” already.

6. You know that Reid can read 20,000 words per minute and has an IQ of 187

7. You know all the nicknames that Morgan and Garcia have for each other

8. Even if it’s a repeat you DEMAND to be there on time to watch it

9. You have threatened your TVIO bodily harm because it missed the recording when you got home

10. Criminal minds somehow comes into almost all of your conversations

11. You cried when Garcia was shot, when Reid got kidnapped, Elle got shot, Morgan was almost blown up, or when Hotch was left there dying

12. You learn most of your worldly facts from Reid (6 elevator related deaths per year and 10,000 resulting in hospitalization)

13. You can hum the theme song by memory

14. Or you hear it and yell “Criminal minds is on!”

15. You missed JJ when she went on maternity leave. (Not really for me)

16. You would die inside if they didn’t pair your favorite pairs together. (I.e. Morgan/Garcia, JJ/Reid, Emily/Hotch. Etc)

17. After watching criminal minds you dream about becoming a member of the FBI or BAU

18. You friends call you a nerd because you can sprout off random facts about serial killers

19. Garcia, JJ, and Emily = BFF’s

20. You know that Reid wears mix matched socks

21. You now try to profile all of the people you meet

22. YOU HATE STRAUSS (OMG YES!)

23. Just because of Derek Morgan, You feel the need to kick down a door. (I do that frequently now XD)

24. Rossi and Emily are new and you give them a hard time for taking the place of the originals. (Psh! They aren't new! And I love Rossi and Prentiss!)

25. Oracle of Quantico is amazing

26. You bold out the letters CRIMINAL MINDS to put emphasis when something asks you what your favorite show is

27. You know who shot Hotch and you know that he HAS to be alive

28. You know two episodes where Derek Morgan has his shirt off and you take extra special notice to watch them every time you can

29. Horror movies aren’t fun anymore. You know the killer before anyone else because of your now profound profiling skills

31. You have/attempted to write a fan fiction about Criminal Minds

32. You have read more then 48% of the Criminal Minds fan fiction page

33. The “Red-Skins” is actually a football team (01.04 Reid’s birthday present)

34. You’ve recruited one or more of your friends to watch Criminal Minds

35. You’ve looked up Criminal Minds videos on you tube

36. You have added at least one of the episodes as a favorite on YouTube

37. Criminal Minds books are the best thing since “Physics magic”

38. Physics magic is the coolest!

39. You wish you shot Battle yourself

40. When Hotch’s eyes get watery, your already crying

41. You dream of a Criminal Minds movie

43. You squeed when Derek said “I love you” to Penelope

44. Your heart broke when they both didn’t get it

45. Emily’s mom makes you a little uneasy inside

46. You know that JJ used to collect butterflies

47. Reid afraid of the dark plus JJ being afraid of the woods is adorable

48. Reid why are you still afraid of the dark? “BECAUSE OF THE ADHERENT ABSENCE OF LIGHT!”

49. Dr. Spencer Reid is the hottest thing to ever rock a sweater vest (HECK YEAH!)

50. You say things like “WE are going to catch Foyet ” or “ how dare he hurt OUR boys”


More "You know you're obsessed with Criminal Minds when:"

1. You write down all the interesting things you've learned form the show, funny quotes, sayings etc.

2. Sometimes you start thinking as a profiler lol

3. You'd looove to learn how to "read" people, like they do

4. You start to imagine new CM episodes when you are part of the cast.

5. You count your weeks not from Sundays to Sundays (or from Mondays to Mondays), but from the weekly CM episode to the next one (for me, Wednesday to Wednesday).

6. When you think about the weekly CM episode as a sort of reward after having worked/studied all day.

7. Morgan, Reid, or Hotch is your new "husband"

8. You start thinking that the police could do with your help as clearly you are now profiler extraordinaire after re-watching every episode.

9. When you watch your favorite episodes you can quote along with the characters.

10. You imagine how you'd look in the opening sequence of the show. (I really do lol)

11. You can tell which season it is by Reid's hair!

12. Jason Gideon did not leave. He just likes to hide under Aaron Hotchner's desk all the time.

13. You cried when Reid was kidnapped in Revelations

14. You keep having dreams in which you are in the show and it all seems so real

15. You NEVER make plans on a night when a new episode is on

16. If there is ever a marathon of Criminal Minds, you know three weeks in advance.

17.Being buried alive is now your worst fear.

18. When you are in a situation and you think, "What would Derek Morgan do?" You have the sudden urge to break down a door...

19.When Morgan and Garcia's "Conversations" are the highlight of your evening.

20.Every conversation you have always ends with Criminal Minds, no matter what topic you started with.

21.You (like Derek Morgan) believe Spencer Reid knows everything, no matter how much he says he doesn’t.

22.You know random facts about every character

23. When all your family, hang warning on doors, "DON"T DISTURB HER!, SHE's WATCHING HER SHOW!"

24. You relate anything anyone says to Criminal Minds

25. You've known the exact date and time for the next season's premier for months

26. Reid has made you love nerds :)

27. No one even has to ask you what you're doing on the computer because they know it's CM related

28. You think Haley is a witch

29. you cried when the SUV blew up and hurt Hotch

30. you love the episode 'somebody's watching' because Reid seems so awkward in it :)

31. you just want Morgan and Garcia to hook up already

33- you have dreams where your part of the team and then feel like killing your parents when they wake you

34- you profile everyone in a grocery store or mall until your friend drags you away... there is something weird with someone buying 20 pounds if carrots...

35- you get in trouble in class when you are profiling your weird teacher and she asks a question and your concentrating to hard to reply

36-you know tons of CM quotes and put them in essays frequently

37- you can easily see yourself as one of the team

38- all you can do on a plane is compare it to the BAU jet

39- a door is locked and you look for Morgan

40- when you have a hard question on a test you think "what would Reid do"

41-Emily Prentiss or another character is your LIFE idol

42- you notice what your friends do and at first they got really creeped out that you were always watching

43- you feel the need to correct people when the wrongly judge someone behavior.

44- you NEVER plan things on CM nights

43- when someone creeps you out you immediately reach your hand to your hip to grab your "gun"

46- you have become slightly paranoid

47-you think Jack is a cutie

48-you know that Morgan is actually just a giant, muscley teddy bear

49-You know that Hotch smiles all the time...on the inside...

50-whenever Reid embaresses himself, you have the overwhelming urge to reach through the TV and give him a big hug

51. You really want to finally do the IQ test :)

52. You write down all of the types of serial killers,torturers,kidnappers etc (in the notebook mentioned above) and the thought that someone can see it and think that you're crazy kinda freaks you out.

53. You think that you are the happiest person alive,when you find links to watch the show on-line.

54. The best nickname someone can give you is Babygirl! :D

55. You cried in '100'

56. you start to dress like Garcia

57. it's not a real quote unless someone on CM says it

58. you've been studying profiling in case they suddenly need a teenage girl on their team

59- You ocassionally talk like Reid

60- like Reid, you throw a statistic in a conversation even if its not true

61- no one ever has to ask you anymore what your favorite show is

62- you don't go on a date with your boyfriend because there's a CM marathon

63- your expectations in guys are WAAY too high because of Reid :)

64) You now pour an excessive amount of sugar in your coffee after watching Reid make his.

65) You drink a lot more coffee than you used to.

66) You can't help throwing one of Reid's random statistics into everyday conversation.

67) You have most of the songs ever played on the show on your iPod.

68) You now question EVERYTHING.

69) You're starting to believe that everybody has a sinister motive behind every thing they do/say.

70) You can't help acting like Garcia when on the phone.

71) Being kidnapped is starting to look more appealing to you every time you watch the show.

72) You write FanFics.

73. You now carry a baton and two guns.

74. When the show is on, you don't go anywhere, you don't move, even if that means starvation... You only get up when the commercials starts.

75. Sometimes when you talk about the show, you get the "are you crazy" looks.

76. YOU ARE PROUD TO BE A CM ADDICT! :D

77. You have been waiting for hours until the latest episode is ready for watching... And you still are... *sigh*

78. You had a dream about chasing an unsub with the team down the stairs of your building.

79. One of the best things that can ever happen to you is to be hugged, carried etc. by Derek Morgan.

80. You wish that the characters from the show were real

81. The characters grew on you so much, that you start seeing them like family

82. You've just drank a cup of insanely sweet coffee, though you hate it.

83. You start to love babies because of Jack and Henry and to think it would be nice to have a baby like them in future.

84. You'd really like to have:
-two great sisters like JJ and Emily.
-a virtual friend like Garcia for chatting, playing online, etc.
-a cool friend like Elle to go shopping with (and even have Spanish lessons).
-a college colleague like Reid to study with.
-a strong older brother like Morgan.
-an uncle like Rossi or Gideon.
-a chief (at work) or an English teacher/professor (if you are a student like me) like Hotch!!!

84. You actually counted the hours and minutes until the new episode (lol i did that)

85. Spencer Reid is your Desktop Wallpaper

86. You plan on being Hotch's new wife

87. Whenever Haley comes on, you close your eyes and imagine Hotch talking to you instead.

88. You start screaming at someone if they talk during Criminal Minds

89. When you have to do a paper for school you use a Criminal Minds topic

90. On a re-run ONLY you start throwing little pieces of paper/cookies at characters you don't like (*cough* Strauss)

91. If your friends start up Twilight Talk and eventually get to Jasper you say that it sucks Amanda won over

92. You and Reid will get through his rehab "together"

93. You start talking to the unsubs that have hurt a character as if they could hear you

94.You start seeing all murders in the newspaper as serial killers.

95. You laugh at the news when they wrongfully refer to someone as a serial killer.

96. Everynight you shove all your work aside for that one episode of CM, and feel empty inside when it's done (unless of couse it's a MARATHON hehe)

97. You have constantly exclaimed "IS HOTCH GUNNA DIE?!!?!"

98. You have plotted to mutliate any writer who dares to kill a character.

99. You have a framed picture of a character

100. You've done ALL (or almost all) of the things written here :D

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

A Deceiving Wedding by petitprincess reviews
What If A Royal Canterlot Wedding was switched? Instead of Cadence getting captured, It's Shining Armor. Also, instead of Queen Chrysalis it's her weird joker of a husband King Metamorphosis. Every thing is different! And King Metamorphosis is NOTHING like Chrysalis! Rated T for sexual jokes that'll be weirder later on.
My Little Pony - Rated: T - English - Fantasy/Humor - Chapters: 11 - Words: 15,576 - Reviews: 79 - Favs: 40 - Follows: 33 - Updated: 6/15 - Published: 7/25/2012 - Princess Cadance/Princess Mi Amore Cadenza, Shining Armor
Faces In The Hall by NorthernxDownpour reviews
High School AU: Spencer Reid is uprooted from his home in Las Vegas and is forced to move across the country to McLean, Virginia to live with his estranged father. Then he meets Derek Morgan in school and life gets so much more complicated.
Criminal Minds - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 27 - Words: 57,665 - Reviews: 340 - Favs: 338 - Follows: 465 - Updated: 4/24/2014 - Published: 1/8/2011 - D. Morgan, S. Reid
Star Trek: Enterprise We Pick You Up! by Lani Carmine
An emo, a drug dealer, an ex-KGB agent, a stuntman, dat ghetto-ass ho, and perhaps the only sane person on the ship: a Captain that was dropped on his head as a child, must work together to defeat the Spaceheads. The evil punk hipsters from a different dimension threaten to destroy all of pop culture as we know it, breaking any laws of nature that stand in their way...
Star Trek: 2009 - Rated: T - English - Sci-Fi/Parody - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,918 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 2/13/2014 - Published: 7/2/2013 - J. Kirk, Spock, L. McCoy/Bones, N. Uhura
Cookies and Lollipops by youdude reviews
An unsub hits JJ and Emily with something...now they're small children. How will the team deal with two little kids running around the BAU? Won a CM Profiler's Choice Fanfic Award for Best Humour and Best Emily/JJ.
Criminal Minds - Rated: K+ - English - Family/Friendship - Chapters: 30 - Words: 102,259 - Reviews: 670 - Favs: 265 - Follows: 311 - Updated: 11/13/2013 - Published: 8/15/2010 - Jennifer J./JJ, E. Prentiss
Weaken the Lock by Julis Caesar reviews
A criminal whose soul was sucked out woke up and escaped. The TARDIS was missing and the Doctor didn't know where or when he was. Voldemort was back, and Sirius Black had a few more secrets left... To top this all off, there was a watch involved, and a very good reason for Barty Crouch Jr and the Tenth Doctor to look identical.
Crossover - Doctor Who & Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama/Adventure - Chapters: 73 - Words: 194,841 - Reviews: 834 - Favs: 261 - Follows: 223 - Updated: 6/6/2013 - Published: 9/23/2012 - 10th Doctor, TARDIS, N. Tonks, Barty C. Jr. - Complete
When Good Ponies Go Bad by veryoriginalponyname reviews
When difficult financial times befall the mane six ponies, they turn to an unthinkable option to make things right again. An option that will challenge their very notion of morality. Not a prostitution story. AU. I have NOT abandoned this story!
My Little Pony - Rated: M - English - Crime/Drama - Chapters: 23 - Words: 164,999 - Reviews: 174 - Favs: 72 - Follows: 80 - Updated: 2/28/2013 - Published: 4/10/2012 - Twilight Sparkle
Diamond's Are a Girl's Worst Friend by Bubbiiful reviews
When two years have past, how will Alicia, Dylan, Claire and Kristen react when Massie comes back? What will Massie say when she finds out the PC has disbanded, with Alicia the Alpha of OCD high, Kristen holding a grude against her and more? [On HIATUS]
Clique - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Drama - Chapters: 11 - Words: 28,024 - Reviews: 38 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 26 - Updated: 10/8/2012 - Published: 10/24/2011
Soarin' and Rainbow Dash Fanfic by Viridian Daybreak reviews
Rainbow Dash is doing her usual Nightmare Night pranking. Whoops. It's a Wonderbolt.
My Little Pony - Rated: K - English - Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 3,979 - Reviews: 61 - Favs: 51 - Follows: 65 - Updated: 7/16/2012 - Published: 6/22/2012 - Rainbow Dash, Soarin
Profile of a Party Pony by The.Akatsukis.Fallen.Angel reviews
Following the events of Cupcakes the BAU is called into ponyville to investigate the disappearance fo Rainbow Dash.
Crossover - My Little Pony & Criminal Minds - Rated: T - English - Crime/Horror - Chapters: 5 - Words: 6,605 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 17 - Published: 4/24/2012 - Pinkie Pie, D. Rossi
Apple Thief by CoolGrae40percent reviews
The BAU is called to Ponyville to investigate a series of apple thefts. The whole team doesn't think anything of it, aside for Spencer Reid, who thinks this may just be a new drug someone slipped him. Is it?
Crossover - My Little Pony & Criminal Minds - Rated: K - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 660 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 13 - Published: 6/10/2011 - S. Reid
Q&A: Clique Style by join.me.in.the.thunder reviews
The PC and Briarwood Boys are trapped in a room together, forced to answer questions asked by YOU! Ready or not, the questions will come, and come without a warning. R&R to ask questions
Clique - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 4,724 - Reviews: 51 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 12 - Updated: 7/3/2010 - Published: 5/18/2010
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Opening the Past reviews
Four murders, 2 worked for Interpol, 1 adopted daughter. Emily Prentiss finds that she needs to protect the girl of a murdered couple. Even if it means taking her in as her own. Whoever is killing, sees Prentiss as a target. Whatever happens, its not gonna be good. A/N:Some humor with Rossi and Garcia but no pairings. Beth has a teenage daughter and moved in with Hotch.
Criminal Minds - Rated: T - English - Crime/Drama - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,583 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 23 - Updated: 7/18/2012 - Published: 7/16/2012 - E. Prentiss
In the Eyes of a Natural reviews
Have you ever wondered what Nana Love's life is like? One word- drama. And lot's of it! She has to choose between Hiro Fuse and a new, extremely popular kicker- Daiki Haruto. Sorry for the bad summary. It's better than it sounds.
Uglies - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,023 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 6/11/2012
Kyandua (2)
PretzelDog (0)
youdude (11)