Author has written 4 stories for Twilight, and Vampire Diaries.
Name : Ashe or Call me Wolfgang ! :P xD
[ I spell my name with an 'e' because it looks cool ;) ]
Username: HisKhaleesi formally known as : AshBlack-twihard and Dean-Salvatore She-Wolf
(i change my username a lot) :P
Favorite word: flabbergasted
Favorite name:Wolfgang (it's just so cool!!!¡¡)
Age: Old enough :P
I need a BETA!!!!!!!!
TEAM WOLFPACK!!!!!! TEAM WHITLOCK!!!!!!! TEAM MCARTY!!!!!!
Plzzzzzz check out my stories and review!
IM OBSESSED WITH TWILIGHT!!!!!! I LOVE HARRY POTTER!!!! & THE HUNGER GAMES!!! (who isn't???)
Here is some random stuff that u may or may not read!
I loveeeeeee Supernatural and Vampire diaries!!
GAME OF THRONES!!!!!!
favorite Authors: M. M. Kaur and Maxipoo1024
M. M. Kaur hosts an awesome group on facebook : Bambi's Beloveds .
I have an account on Wattpad.com : HowlingWolfgang and SimplyOriginal
Whoever said nothing is impossible, never tried to slam a revolving door.
Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else
I don't suffer from insanity I enjoy every minute of it. (true shit!)
You laugh because I'm different. I laugh because you're all the same.
Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid.
There is stupid coming out of your mouth hole again
God made man, and then he said, "I can do better than that," and made women.
So many boys, so many reasons to stay alone
I didn't mean to hurt your feelings...I was aiming for your face
When you’re down I may not be able to pick you back up, but I promise I’ll be willing to lay down right next to you
I hear your silence loud and clear
Children in frontseats can lead to accidents. Accidents in backseats can lead to children.
Why do today what you could put off till tomorrow?
Education is important, school however, is another matter.
Don’t mess with me I've got a stick.
Boys are like Slinky's, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.
Boys are like purses: cute, full of crap, and always replaceable
Boys are like skateboards, they can go fast but usually there pretty slow.
Boys are like knives, usefull but they'll cut you eventually
If at first you don't succeed, don't try skydiving.
I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse
You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder.
You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.
Evening News is where they begin with "Good Evening" then proceed to tell you why it isn't
Don't follow in my footsteps, I tend to walk into walls
Men are like parking spots, the good ones are taken and the free ones are handicapped.
There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.
Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night.
Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?
Help I've fallen and i cant...hey nice carpet!
A stranger stabs you in the front; a friend stabs you in the back; a boyfriend stabs you in the heart, but best friends only poke each other with straws.
"We live in an age where pizza gets to your house before the police do."
Whose cruel idea was it for the word "Lisp" to have a "S" in it?
You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.
If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?
If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
They say hard work never hurts anybody, but why take the chance.
There’s a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.
Don't take life too seriously, you won't get out alive
Life is full of disappointments, and I'm full of life!
Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.
Cheese… milk's leap toward immortality.
Lifes Tough, get a helmet
The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
Can vegetarians eat Animals Crackers?
Only in America, do banks have braile on the drive-thru ATMs.
Isn't it scary that doctors call what they do "practice"?
Why do they use sterilized needles for lethal injections?
Why do bankruptcy lawyers expect to be paid?
It is not MY fault that I never learned to accept responsibility
A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths
The cops never find it as funny as you do
In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual labels on consumer goods:
On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. ( that's the only time I have to work on my hair).
On a bag of Frito's! ..You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special)?
On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be how?...)
On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's "just" a suggestion).
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh)!
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (...and you thought?...)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time?)
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and.. .I'm taking this because?...)
On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to...what?)
On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)
On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)
On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)
On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands." (...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the stupidity copy and paste this into your profile! XD
Funny Product Labels:
"Caution: The contents of this bottle should not be fed to fish." -- On a bottle of shampoo for dogs.
"For external use only!" -- On a curling iron.
"Warning: This product can burn eyes." -- On a curling iron.
"Do not use in shower." -- On a hair dryer.
"Do not place this product into any electronic equipment." -- On the case of a chocolate CD in a gift basket.
"Recycled flush water unsafe for drinking." -- On a toilet at a public sports facility in Ann Arbor, Michigan.
"Shin pads cannot protect any part of the body they do not cover." -- On a pair of shin guards made for bicyclists.
"This product not intended for use as a dental drill." -- On an electric rotary tool.
"Caution: Do not spray in eyes." -- On a container of underarm deodorant.
"Do not drive with sunshield in place." -- On a cardboard sunshield that keeps the sun off the dashboard.
"Caution: This is not a safety protective device." -- On a plastic toy helmet used as a container for popcorn.
"Do not use near fire, flame, or sparks." -- On an "Aim-n-Flame" fireplace lighter.
"Battery may explore or leak." -- On a battery.
"Do not eat toner." -- On a toner cartridge for a laser printer.
"Not intended for highway use." -- On a 13-inch wheel on a wheelbarrow.
"This product is not to be used in bathrooms." -- On a Holmes bathroom heater.
"May irritate eyes." -- On a can of self-defense pepper spray.
"Eating rocks may lead to broken teeth." -- On a novelty rock garden set called "Popcorn Rock."
"Caution: Hot beverages are hot!" -- On a coffee cup.
"Caution: Shoots rubber bands." -- On a product called "Rubber Band Shooter."
"Warning: May contain small parts." -- On a frisbee.
"Do not use orally." -- On a toilet bowl cleaning brush.
"Not suitable for children aged 36 months or less." -- On a birthday card for a 1 year old.
"Do not recharge, put in backwards, or use." -- On a battery.
"Warning: Do not use on eyes." -- In the manual for a heated seat cushion.
"Do not look into laser with remaining eye." -- On a laser pointer.
"Do not use for drying pets." -- In the manual for a microwave oven.
"For use on animals only." -- On an electric cattle prod.
"For use by trained personnel only." -- On a can of air freshener.
"Warning: Do not climb inside this bag and zip it up. Doing so will cause injury and death." -- A label inside a protective bag(for fragile objects), which measures 15cm by 15cm by 12cm.
"Do not use as ear plugs." -- On a package of silly putty.
"Please store in the cold section of the refrigerator." -- On a bag of fresh grapes in Australia.
"Warning: knives are sharp!" -- On the packaging of a sharpening stone.
"Not for weight control." -- On a pack of Breath Savers.
"Twist top off with hands. Throw top away. Do not put top in mouth." -- On the label of a bottled drink.
"Theft of this container is a crime." -- On a milk crate.
"Warning: has been found to cause cancer in laboratory mice." -- On a box of rat poison.
"Fragile. Do not drop." -- Posted on a Boeing 757.
"Caution: Remove infant before folding for storage." -- On a portable stroller.
"Beware! To touch these wires is instant death. Anyone found doing so will be prosecuted." -- On a sign at a railroad station.
"Not for human consumption." -- On a package of dice.
"May be harmful if swallowed." -- On a shipment of hammers.
"Using Ingenio cookware to destroy your old pots may void your warranty." -- A printed message that appears in a television advertisement when the presenter demonstrates how strong the cookware is by using it to beat up and destroy a regular frying pan.
"Do not attempt to stop the blade with your hand." -- In the manual for a Swedish chainsaw.
"Do not dangle the mouse by its cable or throw the mouse at co-workers." -- From a manual for an SGI computer.
"Warning: May contain nuts." -- On a package of peanuts.
"Do not eat if seal is missing." -- On said seal.
"Warning: May cause drowsiness." -- On a bottle of sleeping pills.
"Warning: Misuse may cause injury or death." -- Stamped on the metal barrel of a .22 calibre rifle.
"Not to be used as a personal flotation device." -- On a 6x10 inch inflatable picture frame.
"Not dishwasher safe." -- On a remote control for a TV.
"Do not put lit candles on phone." -- On the instructions for a cordless phone.
"Warning! This is not underwear! Do not attempt to put in pants." -- On the packaging for a wristwatch.
"Do not wear for sumo wrestling." -- From a set of washing instructions.
"Safe for use around pets." -- On a box of Arm & Hammer Cat Litter.
"Do not use house paint on face." -- In a Visa commercial that depicts an expecting couple looking for paint at a hardware store.
"Do not drive cars in ocean." -- In a car commercial which shows a car in the ocean.
"Always drive on roads. Not on people." -- From a car commercial which shows a vehicle "body-surfing" at a concert.
"For a limited time only." -- From a Rally's commercial that described how their burgers were fresh.
"Do not sit under coconut trees." -- A sign on a coconut palm in a West Palm Beach park circa 1950.
"All cups leaving this store, rather full or empty, must be paid for." -- A sign in a Cumberland Farms in Hillsboro, New Hampshire.
"Prescriptions cannot be filled by phone." -- On a form in a clinic.
"Fits one head." -- On a hotel-provided shower cap box.
"Payment is due by the due date." -- On a credit card statement.
"In case of flood, proceed uphill. In case of flash flood, proceed uphill quickly." -- One of the emergency safety procedures at a summer camp.
"Ingredients: Artificially bleached flour, sugar, vegetable fat, yeast, salt, gluten, soya flour, emulsifier 472 (E) & 481, flour treatment agents, enzymes, water. May contain: fruit." -- The ingredients list on a package of fruit buns.
"100 pure yarn." -- On a sweater.
"Some materials may irritate sensitive skin. Please look at the materials if you believe this may be the case. Materials: Covering: 100 Unknown. Stuffing: 100 Unknown." -- On a pillow.
"Cleans and refreshes without soap or water. Contains: Water, fragrance & soap." -- On the packet for a moist towelette.
Put this in your profile
if you love to laugh!
People who say anything's possible haven't tried to slam a revolving door
If you're bored then paste this in your profile and let the world know you have nothing to do
If you've walked under something that was about two feet above your head and ducked anyway copy and paste this is your profile
When it rains on my party, I bust out the slip n' slide.
If you get good grades and still know nothing at all, copy and paste this onto your profile.
They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people
I agree with the dictionary. Girls before guys, partying before studying, and friends before love.
I don't obsess! I think intensely.
If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile.
When you get caught looking at him, just remember, he was looking back!
My night in shining armour turned out to be a loser in aluminium foil.
Of all the things I’ve lost, I miss my mind the most.
Before you criticize some one, walk a mile in their shoes. That way you’re a mile away and you still have their shoes.
I was gifted, but the psychiatrist took away my powers
I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow isn't looking good either.
You laugh, I laugh. You cry, I cry. You hurt, I hurt. You jump off a bridge, I get a paddle boat and save your stupid a--.
YOU KNOW YOU'RE AN AUTHOR IF...
You talk to yourself a lot. (E.g. Hmm, what would happen if it was sunny the day Bella got hit by the van? Oh, story idea!! Must get computer!)
You talk to yourself about talking to yourself. (E.g. 'Why do I constantly ask my self random things?')
When you talk to yourself you often talk to yourself like you're talking to someone else. (E.g. 'Have you ever noticed that deliver could mean someone's liver?')
After uttering a profound piece of wisdom like that above, you stare at the cookie in your hand with awe and say, "Wow, this stuff is great for sugar highs...'
You live off of sugar and caffine (the two greatest things ever discovered!)
You'll check your e-mail every day of the week and then dissappear off the face of the earth.
You're e-mails tend to be pages long and incredibly random.
When replying to an e-mail, you'll never actually address the point of it.
No matter where you are in a room you never have to get up to find a pen/pencil and paper.
Your friends and family think that you have carpal tunnel syndrome.
People think you have A.D.D.
You think it'd be cool to have A.D.D.
You constantly start talking in third person, present or past tense.
You start thinking about making lists like this and start giggling for no "apparent" reason
Your friends stopped looking at you funny for no apparent reason a loooooong time ago.
And FINALLY, the one way to tell if you're a good writer: You failed English 101.
I cdnuolt blviee taht I cloud aulactly
uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanig. The phaonmneal
pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't
mttaer in wht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the
olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer
be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a tatol
mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.
Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed
ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wohle.
Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas toghuht slpeling
was ipomorantt! Tahts so cool!
It’s ironic for the first part of our lives our parents teach us to walk and talk but for the rest of it they tell us to sit down and shut up.
One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh, he just took a wrong turn, got lost and is too stubborn to ask directions.
I’m the author of my own life unfortunately I’m writing in pen and can’t erase my mistakes.
92% of American teenagers would hold their breaths if Justin Beiber told them to. (Copy this to your profile if you would've been in the 8% laughing your asses off!)
Come to the dark side. We have COOKIES!
I smile because I have no idea what's going on! :)
Life was so simple when boys had cooties.
I used to be normal, until I met the freaks that I call my friends.
I ran with scissors, and lived!
You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, and I laugh even harder.
Being weird is like being normal, only better.
I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me.
Boys are like lava lamps, fun to watch but not too bright.
Boys are also like Slinky's... useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.
When angry, count to ten, when very angry, swear.
It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 to smile and only 4 to reach out and slap someone.
I don't suffer from insanity... I enjoy every minute of it.
They say, "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill to many people.
I believe you should live each day as if it is your last, which is why I don't have any clean laundry because, come on, who wants to wash clothes on the last day of their life?
Silence is golden, duct tape is silver.
Make a man a fire; keep him warm for a day. Set a man on fire, keep him warm for life
Officer, I swear to Drunk I'm not God!
I'm not littering...I'm donating to the Earth
Life is like a pack of gum... I've yet to figure out why.
Be insane... because well behaved girls never made history.
Last night I looked up at the stars and matched each star to a reason I loved you. I was doing fine till I ran out of stars.
I’m not afraid of Death, what’s he gonna do kill me?
It’s always the last place you look. Of course it is, why would I keep looking after I’ve found it?
Growing old is mandatory...growing up is optional...
If two wrongs don't make a right, try three
We fall for stupid boys, we make lots of dumb mistakes, we like to act stupid, talk really fast, and laugh really loud. But us teenage girls are good at 2 things: Staying Strong, and Being Ourselves!
-I'm the kind of girl who will burst out laughing in the middle of a dead silence because of something that happened yesterday. ;)
- There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.
-Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They're about to announce the lottery numbers.
- Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling?
- When there's a will, I want to be in it.
-Lead me not into temptation. I can find it myself.
-The number of people watching you is directly proportional to the stupidity of your action.
- I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
- Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when nobody is looking.
- I live in my own little world, but its ok they know me there.
I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that stuff up in two seconds. That's why when I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, "Oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you".
Live your life in such a way that when your feet hit the floor Satan shudders an says "Oh shit... She's awake!!"
(copy this to your profile if you laughed more then once while reading this)
If all the worlds a stage, where is the audience sitting?
If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?
Wouldn't it be ironic to die in the living room?
Why do they have the back pain medicine on the bottom shelf at the pharmacy?
If Santa lives at the North Pole, where does the Easter bunny live?
What does the K in K-mart stand for?
Why is an alarm clock going "off" when it actually turns on?
If you crossed a bulldog and a shitsu, would it be called a bullshit?
Why are boxing rings square?
If you are in hell, and are mad at someone, where do you tell them to go?
Why do they call them apartments if they are all shoved together?
If you are in hell, and are mad at someone, where do you tell them to go?
Why do they call them apartments if they are all shoved together?
What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
(copy this to your profile if you think about something on this list too)
Ways to get kicked out of Wal-Mart
1. Set all the alarm clocks to go off in 10-minute intervals
2. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, “Code 3 in housewares,…”and see what happens.
3. Go to the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M’s on lay away.
one of the workers who is making a pyramid or a display of something and as soon as they are finished with it, ask for the thing that’s on the bottom and have a panic attack until they give it to you.
5. Get on the loud speaker and declare a “Going Out of Business Sale, All Items 99 Off”
6. Buy a 200 item and pay for it all in pennies. Lose count at least two times.
7. Dart around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the theme from ‘Mission Impossible’.
8. Move a ‘CAUTION – WET FLOOR’ sign to a carpeted area.
9. Sit down and relax on the patio furniture until they kick you out
10. Set up a tent in the camping department
11. Look right into the security camera, use it as a mirror and pick your nose.
12. Take pictures of absolutely everything.
13. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask ‘Why can’t you people just leave me alone?
14. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say “PICK ME! PICK ME!”
17. See what you can “catch” by casting fishing poles into different isles.
18. Play football and see how many people you can get to join in.
19. Play soccer using the whole store as your field
20. Try on bras over your clothes in the middle of the store.
21. Try to get people to race you across the store.
22. Sit on the floor and watch T.V. in the electronics department.
23. Pretend to speak a different language and see how many weird looks you get
24. Superglue quarters to the floor and count how many people try to pick them up
25. Switch all the radios to strange stations suck as polka or Mexican rap and turn the volume all the way up.
26. Fill up carts and just leave them around the store.
27. When someone is behind you in a narrow aisle, walk very slowly, humming to yourself.
28. Drape a blanket around your shoulders and pretend to be superman.
30. Walk up to random strangers and say “I haven’t seen you in so long!” etc.
31. Do the same thing, except ask for their autograph.
32. Play Red Rover with other customers. Except don’t tell them that they’re playing.
33. Test brushes and combs
34. Take up an entire toy aisle with a G.I. Joe vs. Rescue Heroes battle of epic proportions.
35. Take bets on the battle.
36. Have sword fights with tubes of wrapping paper.
37. Follow people.
38. Play with the price scanners.
39. Spray air-freshener everywhere.
40. Play with the automatic doors.
41. Make a pillow fort.
43. Shopping cart races. Enough said.
44. Crawl into gym bags and laundry hampers.
48. “Re-alphabetize” the CD’s
49. “Re-alphabetize” the books.
50. When someone steps away from their cart to look at something, quickly make off with it without saying a word.
51. Running around the store screaming walmart sucks, walmart sucks let’s go to target!
52. Buy a candybar. Eat it. Get back in line. Buy another candy bar. Eat it. Get back in line. Repeat until you get bored.
53. Drag a lounge chair on display over to the magazines, relax and if the store has a food court, buy a soft drink; explain that you don’t get out much, ask if they can put a little umbrella in it.
57. Spill clear soap down an aisle.
58. Talk to the lady at the cash register for a whole 20 minutes about unicorns.
59. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream.”NO! NO! It’s those voices again!!”
60. Pretend to be a monkey and get on all fours screaming “Oo-oo-aaa-aa!” And attack whoever buys If you are in hell, and are mad at someone, where do you tell them to go?
-- s0o0o0o0o0o cool!
Monster energy drinks are like Barney- they make little kids jump around and sing at the top of their lungs until they throw up
When people don't laugh at our jokes we don't think of it as a "You had to be there." type of thing. But more like a "You have to be mentally retarded like us." type of thing.
Therapy is expensive. Popping bubble wrap is cheap. Your choice
When life gives you lemons, alter their DNA and make SUPER LEMONS
You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me
The dinosaurs extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide.
All the good ones are gay, married, or fictional characters in books or movies.
When life gives you lemons, make grape juice. Then sit back and watch the world wonder how you did it."
"Death is God's way of saying "You're fired."
Suicide is Human's way of saying "You can't fire me- I quit!"
Love vs.Sex (Showing how awesome God is)
A teenage girl about 17 had gone to visit
some friends one
and time passed quickly as each shared
various experiences of the past year.
She ended up staying longer than
had to walk home alone. She wasn't
because it was a small town and she lived
few blocks away.
As she walked along under the tall elm
Diane asked God to keep her safe from
When she reached the alley, which was a
cut to her house, she decided to take it.
However, halfway down the alley she
man standing at the end as though he
She became uneasy and began to pray,
Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness
security wrapped round her, she felt as
someone was walking with her.
When she reached the end of the alley,
walked right past the man and arrived
The following day, she read in the
a young girl had been raped in the same
twenty minutes after she had been there.
Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and
that it could have been her, she began to
Thanking the Lord for her safety and to
young woman, she decided to go to the
She felt she could recognize the man, so
them her story.
The police asked her if she would be
at a lineup to see if she could identify
She agreed and immediately pointed out
she had seen in the alley the night
When the man was told he had been
immediately broke down and confessed.
The officer thanked Diane for her bravery
asked if there was anything they could do
She asked if they would ask the man one
Diane was curious as to why he had not
When the policeman asked him, he
answered, "Because she wasn't alone.
two tall men walking on either side of
Amazingly, whether you believe or not,
never alone. Did you know that 98 of
will not stand up for God?
Repost this as Love vs. Sex if you truly
PS: God is always there in your heart and loves you no matter what... and if you stand up for him he will
stand up for you.
I bet 93 percent of you people that read this won't repost.
A girl and guy were speeding over 100mph on a motorcycle
Girl: Slow down, I'm scared!
Guy: No, this is fun.
Girl: No, it's not. Please, I'm scared.
Guy: Then tell me you love me.
Girl: I love you, now slow down!
Guy: Now give me a big hug.
She gives him a big hug
Guy: Can you take off my helmet and put it on yourself, it's bothering me.
In the newspaper the next day, a motorcycle had crashed into a building because of break failure. Two people were on it and only one survived. The truth was that halfway down the road, the guy realized his break wasn't working but he didn't want the girl to know. Instead he had her hug him and tell him one last time that she loved him. Then he had her put on his helmet so that she would live even if he died.
apples on trees.
The best ones are
at the top of the tree.The
boys don't want to reach
for the good ones because they
are afraid of falling and getting hurt.
Instead, they just get the rotten apples
from the ground that aren't as good,
but easy. So the apples at the top think
something is wrong with them, when in
reality, they're amazing. They just
have to wait for the right boy to
come along, the one who's
brave enough to
to the top
of the tree.
read this if you hate racism.
The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?" The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away...
Copy and paste this if you were on Team Edward, and then realized he was a jerk, and fell in love with Jacob Black.
One day Mrs. Jones went to have a talk with the minister at the local church. "Reverend," she said, "I have a problem: my husband keeps falling asleep during your sermons. It's very embarrassing. What should I do?"
"I have an idea," said the minister. "Take this hatpin with you. I will be able to tell when Mr. Jones is sleeping, and I will motion to you at specific times. When I motion, you give him a good poke in the leg."
In church the following Sunday, Mr. Jones dozed off. Noticing this, the preacher put his plan to work. "And who made the ultimate sacrifice for you?" he said, nodding to Mrs. Jones.
"Jesus!" Jones cried as his wife jabbed him the leg with the hatpin.
"Yes, you are right, Mr. Jones," said the minister. Soon, Mr. Jones nodded off again. Again, the minister noticed. "Who is your redeemer?" he asked the congregation, motioning towards Mrs. Jones.
"God!" Mr. Jones cried out as he was stuck again with the hatpin.
"Right again," said the minister, smiling. Before long, Mr. Jones had winked off again. However, this time, the minister did not notice. As he picked up the tempo of his sermon, he made a few motions that Mrs. Jones mistook as signals to bayonet her husband with the hatpin again.
The minister asked, "And what did Eve say to Adam after she bore him his 99th son?"
Mrs. Jones poked her husband, who yelled, "You stick that goddamned thing in me one more time and I'll break it in half and shove it up your ass!"
"Amen," replied the congregation.
They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled 'BANG', I don't think you'd kill to many people.
i'm the girl who isn't dancing, just jumping up and down screaming the lyrics.
I'm the girl who every no's her name, for good or for bad. Im the girl that if you call my friend a brat i WILL say something.
I'm the girl that will slap you if you push me.
Im the girl that speaks my mind, whether you like it or not.
Im the girl that walks like i am proud.
Im the girl that you don't wanna be on her bad side.
Im the girl that doesn't take crap from anyone.
BUT i'm also the girl that carries a book in her purse.
Im the girl that wears sweat pants to the dance.
Im the girl that no one knows her name, for good or bad.
Im the girl who acts shy one second and the next i will be laughing like an idot.
Im the girl that people call "Bitch" and "Freak" "brat" and "Weird" but i take that as a compliment.
Im the girl that doesn't have normal hobbies. I read and i write.
Im the girl that hasn't been asked out in a year.
Im the girl who isnt always a people person.
Im the girl that doesnt WANT or NEED a boyfriend.
Im the girl who thinks boys arent worth my heart, because who gives away their heart to be broken?
Im also the girl they call "friend" you are not alone.
Take Time To Read Each Sentence
This is this cat
This is is cat
This is how cat
This is to cat
This is keep cat
This is a cat
This is dumb cat
This is busy cat
This is for cat
This is forty cat
This is seconds cat
Now read the THIRD word of every line.
kissing is healthy.bananas are good for period pain.it's good to cry.chicken soup actually makes you feel better.94 percent of boys would love it if you sent them flowers.lying is actually unhealthy.you really only need to apply mascara to your top lashes.it's actually true, boys DO insult you when they like you.89 percent of guys want YOU to make the first move.it's impossible to apply mascara with your mouth closed.chocolate will make you feel better.most boys think it's cute when you say the wrong thing.a good friend never judges.a good foundation will hide all hickeys... not that you have any.boys aren't worth your tears.we all love surprises.Now... make a wish.Wish REALLY hard!!WISH WISH WISH WISH Your wish has just been received.
Girl: Why do you like me?
Boy: Too many reasons
Girl: Give me a number
Boy: How many stars are in the night sky?
Girl: That's impossible
Boy: So you see the problem
Fun Things To Do On An Elevator. (:
1) When a person in the elevator repeatedly pushes a button (such as "close" or "open") say, "Congratulations, you figured out that if you push the button 20 times, it works quicker"
2) When the elevator doors shut, assuringly say, "It's ok, they will open up again!"
3)Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, dammit, all of you just shut UP!"
4) Whistle the first seven notes of "Its a Small World" incessantly.
5) Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: "Got enough air in there?"
6) Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside down.
7) Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
8) When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.
9) Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral.
10) Stare, grinning, at another passenger for awhile, and then announce: "I've got new socks on!"
11) Meow occasionally.
12) Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose.
13) Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.
14) Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
15) Stare at another passenger for awhile, then announce "You're one of THEM!" and move to the far corner of the elevator.
16) Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to the other passengers.
17) When the elevator is silent, look around and ask "Is that your beeper?"
18) Say "Ding!" at each floor.
19) Say "I wonder what all these do" and push the red buttons.
20) Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.
21) Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your "personal space."
22) Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."
23) Put a box on the floor and whenever somebody comes in, say "Do you hear clicking?"
I am Ashe I'm a wallflower who's loves all music rock,hip hop, rap , alternative you name it. I always try to keep earphones or any music device with me ! :D my fav colors are dark blue, green,purple ,neon orange and black. I
And I have a twin sister we are related in everyway exept blood her name is Madi and she is awesome ! Her name on wattpad is SoulessObsession her books are awesome!
LINKIN PARK, H.I.M.,PARAMORE,LIL WAYNE , KANYE WEST, PINK, EVANESCENCE , LMFAO ( I'm sexy and I know it ! ;D ) , TRAPT ,SKILLET,DEADMOUSE, THREE DAYS GRACE, THOUSAND FOOT KRUTCH,SKRILLEX,NERO
peanut butter jelly time the song!
chris angel mind freak!
vampires and werewolves! :)
I promise to remember Bella
Each time I'm falling down.
And I promise to remember Edward
Whenever I'm out of town.
I promise to remember Carlisle
When ever I am in the Emergency Room.
And I promise to remember Emmett
Every time there's a huge boom.
I promise to to remember Rose
Whenever I see something that holds pure beauty.
And I promise to remember Alice
When I'm at a mall and a cute outfit spots me.
I promise to remember Nessie
When I see that beautiful bronze hair.
And I promise to remember Esme
When someone tells me they care.
I promise to remember Jasper
Whenever my stomach isn't curled.
And I promise to remember the Volturi
When someone speaks of dominating the world.
Yes I promise to love Twilight.
Wherever I may go.
So that all may see my obsession.
Because I know what the Twilighters know.
!!!Don't Like My "Twilight" Obbsession?
if justin bieber were to jump off a cliff, 98% of the girls in the world would try to stop him or would jump with him. if you are part of the 2% who would sit with 3D glasses and popcorn shouting 'JUMP JUMP JUMP' then post this on your profile! I DISLIKE JUSTIN BIEBER!
10 Commandments of a Teenager
1) Thou shall not sneak out when parents are sleeping.
(why wait that long)
2) Thou shall not do drugs.
(alcohol lasts longer, not to mention being cheaper.)
3) Thou shall not steal from K-Mart.
(Walmart has a bigger selection)
4) Thou shall not be arrested for vandalism.
(destruction has a bigger effect, I can tell you all about this)
5) Thou shall not steal from your parents.
(everyone knows grandma has more money)
6) Thou shall not get into fights.
(Cat fight anyhow...just start them.)
7) Thou shall not skip class.
(just take the whole day off)
8) Thou shall not strip in class.
(Hooters pays more)
9) Thou shall not think about having sex.
(like Nike says, "just do it")
10) Thou shall not help old ladies across the street.
(just leave'm in the middle)
Which Hogwarts house will you be sorted into? ( I got into SLYTHERIN !!)
(='.'=)this is bunny.Copy and paste
(")_(")bunny to your profile to help
Gain world domination.
I am the girl that doesn't go to school dances, or games, and when I do go, I sit in a corner and read a book.
I am the girl that people look through when I say something. I am the girl that spends most of her free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal.
I am the girl that people call weird and a freak either behind my back or to my face.
I am the girl that doesn't spend all her time on MySpace, or talking to a girlfriend on a cell phone or regular phone.
I am the girl that hasn't been asked out in a year.
I am the girl that has stopped to smell the flowers and jump and splash in the rain.
BUT I am also the girl who knows and is proud to be who she is, doesn’t care if people call her weird (it's a compliment), who loves reading and writing and doing the things that no one seems to have the time to do any more, who loves and is obsessed with Twilight, who can express herself better with words than actions, who doesn't need a guy to complete her, and knows the importance of the little things.
Copy and paste this onto your account, and add your name to the list, if you are anything like me, so the girls who are different and unique can know in their weakest time that they are unique but not alone.:
Iheartjake1220, FaerieRose13, Aliceandra, Jasper's Pixie, WeirdRandomHyperTwilightFREAK-,HisKhaleesi
Peace out ! - Sante
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