I made this crap waaaay back when and I'm not even going to bother to change it.. it's honestly kind of funny in a cringey, pathetic sort of way hahaha.
I LOVE CHOCOLATE! I get pissed easily. I laugh at the weirdest things sometimes. If you hate Spongebob, I swear there's something wrong with you. I am one of the craziest people you are ever going to meet. My artistic talent is, don't mean to brag, better that Byakuya's, times 10. I'm too sarcastic for my own good. I was reading fanfiction while the rest of the world was making Myspace and Facebook accounts. I'm lazy to the point where it's kinda unhealthy. I like the bad guys more than the good guys (sometimes, Aizen was kinda creepy...(FLY BUTTERFLY, FLYYYYY!!!!!!!). My friend Jennifer repeatedly said I am an asylum escapee from Russia. I have a older brother who tried to kill a spider with some air freshener. I have a younger brother who is probably Bipolar and gay. AND... you probably don't care about all this retarded shit that I'm writing. So just go and read the rest of my profile.
Fullmetal Alchemist (Brotherhood)
Hetalia: Axis Powers, World Series, and The Beautiful World
Dragon Ball, Z, and GT
and Deadman Wonderland
...Yeah, those are the main ones.
A man walked into the ladies department of a Macy’s, and walked up to the woman behind the counter and said, “I’d like to buy a bra for my wife”
“What type of bra?” asked the clerk.
“Type?” inquires the man. “There is more than one type?”
“Look around,” said the saleslady, as she showed a sea of bras in every shape, size, color and material. “Actually, even with all of this variety, there are really only three types of bras,” replied the salesclerk. Confused, the man asked what were the types. The saleslady replied “The Catholic type, the, Salvation Army type, and the Baptist type. Which one do you need?” Still confused the man asked, “What is the difference between them?” The lady responded, “It is all really quite simple. The Catholic type supports the masses, the Salvation Army type lifts up the fallen, and the Baptist type makes mountains out of mole hills.
"Life isn't fair. Deal with it." - Mallori
"When Ken-chan's away, Yachiru can play." - From the fanfic: "Yachiru's candy champaign"
"If practice makes perfect, and nobody is perfect, why bother to practice?" - Supermac18
"Your not crazy if you start to talk to yourself. Your crazy when you start answering yourself." - Mia
"The stupidest questions are the ones we ask ourselves." - My weird friend
"I can't just have you guys stare at me. you'll go crazy and I'll go crazy." - Mr. Netlles
"Wow... we're a circle of idiots." - Amy (and also me, without knowing at first)
"Gary, you are gonna finish your dessert, and you are gonna like it!" - Spongebob
"Porn is good for the soul." - Me
"It's not the past that matters, it's the future." - Cynthia
"NINJA STRIPPERS!!" - Me (something of which me and my group happily and crazily think we are. *chuckles*)
"Appearance... honor... I don't have time for that ridiculous old fashioned thinking." - Gaara
"If I promise not to kill you, can i have a hug?" Pon or Zi. (I got no fuckin idea)
"You're a team player, a save the day superhero. I hate people like you." - Hiei (me too)
"A person is a person, no matter how small." - Horton ( but dicks on the other hand...)
"You know, if I were to die right now, in some sort of fiery explosion due to the carelessness of a friend...well, that would just be ok." - Spongebob
"You got lots of time to be old... ask me about it." - Mr. Mumford
"I got a jar of dirt! I got a jar of dirt! And guess what's inside it!" - Jack Sparrow, Dead Man's Chest (my absolute fucking favorite)
"It looks like it's going to vomit poison on us." - Mayuri
"I KILL, therefore I AM!! THAT'S ALL THE PROOF I NEED TO KNOW THAT I EXIST!!" - Barry the chopper
"So tell me, what's it like living in a constant haze of stupidity?"- Hiei (ignonoracne is bliss Hiei...AND IT'S FUCKING AWESOME!!!)
"When you step in a puddle, don't blame the puddle."- A crazy talkshow host.
"Cookies make the world go around" - Otis
"Perfection is overrated." - Ms. O'Hara
"Tobi is a good boy!"- Tobi(_SPOILER ALERT_! i like tobi better when he was a spazz, not a crazy psychopath!)
"If you don't read the book, how do you know what's in it?" - My libarian ( who was my friends mom...awkward!)
"I have talked to, and come to an understanding with every single one of the 536,329 people contained inside of me!" - Hoenhiem
"Sanity? Sorry, but I don't remember having such a useless thing in the first place!" - Kenpachi (ME THREESY! hahahahahahahah...um heh)
"I'm not small! I just live in a big world!" - Ed
"DROWN IN IT!" - Squidward
"The boy cries you a sweater of tears...and you kill him." - Mr. Krabs
"Art is a bang!" - Diedara (and you are so fucking hot!)
"Dumb people are just blissfully unaware of how very dumb they are (as he drools)." - Patrick
"I'M A HOUSE WIFE!" - Izumi
“OH GOD, I'M SEEING LIFE FLASH BEFORE MY EYES! AND IT...s-sucks...monkey balls...”- Random Fanfiction (on Deviantart)
“The cooking directions on a box of mac n' cheese is a better love story than Twilight." - Random Commentor
“SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!!!!!!!! PISS FUCK YOU CUNTIN' COCK-SUCKING MOTHER-FUCKING BITCH ASS TWAT!!!!! FUCKIN' ASSHAT!!!!!!!!”- Me
“And let the new life of fuckery begin.” Me
"Hug muffins need more love!" - My shirt
Stupid Racist People...
A black man walks into a cafe one early morning and noticed that he was the only black man there. As he sat down, he noticed a white man behind him.
Copy this onto your site and help stop racism!
Girl: Do I ever cross your mind?
Girl: Do you like me?
Girl: Do you want me?
Girl: Would you cry if I left?
Girl: Would you live for me?
Girl: Would you do anything for me?
Girl: Choose--me or your life
Boy: My life
The girl runs away in shock and pain and the boy runs after her and says...
The reason you never cross my mind is because you're always on my mind.
The reason why I don't like you is because I love you.
The reason I don't want you is because I need you.
The reason I wouldn't cry if you left is because I would die if you left.
The reason I wouldn't live for you is because I would die for you.
The reason why I'm not willing to do you anything for you is because I would do everything for you.
The reason I chose my life is because you ARE my life.
If you find this incredibly cute and touching, copy and paste it into your profile
Love vs. Sex
A teenage girl about 17 had gone to visit
She ended up staying longer than
As she walked along under the tall elm
When she reached the alley, which was a
However, halfway down the alley she
She became uneasy and began to pray,
Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness
When she reached the end of the alley,
The following day, she read in the
Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and
Thanking the Lord for her safety and to
She felt she could recognize the man, so
The police asked her if she would be
She agreed and immediately pointed out
When the man was told he had been
The officer thanked Diane for her bravery
She asked if they would ask the man one
Diane was curious as to why he had not
When the policeman asked him, he
Amazingly, whether you believe or not,
Repost this as Love vs. Sex if you truly
If Orochimaru creeps the shit out of you, copy and paste this onto your profile
A ninja waits until the dead of night, when the enemy sleeps and drops his guard, when his weapons lie forgotten in the stillness of the night, that is the moment for a ninja to strike. Copy this into your profile if you're a Ninja!
Keep smiling, it makes people wonder what you're up to
You Know your obsessed with Naruto when...
-Dye your hair blonde and try to walk up a tree.
Love is not just an emotion, it's an attachment. When facing question about your love life, you find yourself answering the questions with the most deepest meaning you can muster. A promise to two people that their love is bind forever until someone in that relationship breaks off, but if you are truly in love, the purest forms of love, then you may not want to leave. I recently found this out when I started to wonder why my past crush keeps coming into my mind. I would have done anything to be with her, but as it goes, she did not feel the same. Copy and paste if you would have done anything to prevent harm falling over your love one.
You said I stopped caring
You said I stopped coming
You said I didn't love you
You said I cheated
You said I wasn't loyal
You said I was lying
You said I couldn't be trusted
You said I gave my heart away to someone else
You said I didn't give enough
You said you feel like you're the only one in this relationship
But you know what?
I didn't stop caring, YOU did
I didn't stop coming, YOU did
I didn't say I didn't love you, YOU did
I didn't cheat, YOU did
There was never a time where I wasn't loyal to you
There was never a time I'd lied to you
There was never a time I couldn't be trusted
There was never a time I gave my heart to someone else
I didn't give enough, I GAVE enough
You don't feel like you're the only one in this relationship, I DO
I never stopped caring
I never stopped loving
I thought my love and loyalty was enough
I thought my heart and along with my soul would be yours forever
Guess I was wrong
But like I said, I never stopped caring
7 reasons not to mess with kids
Reason 1 A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible. The little girl said, “When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah.” The teacher asked, ” What if Jonah went to hell?” The little girl replied, “Then you ask him”.
Reason 2 A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child’s work. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was. The girl replied, “I’m drawing God.” The teacher paused and said, “But no one knows what God looks like.” Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, “They will in a minute.”
Reason 3 A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year old After explaining the commandment to “honor” thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, “Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?” Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, “Thou shall not kill.”
Reason 4 One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head. She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, “Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?” Her mother replied, “Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white.” The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, “Momma, how come ALL of grandma’s hairs are white?”
Reason 5 The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. “Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, ‘There’s Jennifer, she’s a lawyer,’ or ‘That’s Michael, he’s a doctor.’ A small voice at the back of the room rang out,”And there’s the teacher, she’s dead. ”
Reason 6 A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, “Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face..” “Yes,” the class said. “Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn’t run into my feet?” A little fellow shouted, “Cause your feet ain’t empty.”
Reason 7 The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: “Take only ONE. God is watching.” Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note, “Take all you want - God is watching the apples.
Quotes That I Think Are Awesome
I don't need romance. I have goldfish
I'd give $1000 to be a millionaire.
If ignorance is bliss, then knock the smile off my face
If there is no God, then who pops up the next Kleenex
Okay everybody, line up in alphabetical order according to your height.
I wouldn't recommend sex, drugs or insanity for everyone, but they've always worked for me
If we're going to be damned, let's be damned for what we really are.
Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example.
Life can only be understood backwards, but it must be lived forwards.
He's as weird as purple spotted flying aardvark, bent on destroying the known universe.
I cannot even imagine where I would be today were it not for that handful of friends who have given me a heart full of joy. Let's face it, friends make life a lot more fun."
“I would love to help but I almost forgot! I left my apartment on fire!”
My favorite quote/My nindo
Among those whom I like or admire, I can find no common denominator, but among those whom I love, I can: all of them make me laugh.
“If you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.”
For people that hate stereotypes: If you think people should just shut up and stop, put this on your profile. (BOLD the ones you are.)
I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
I'm a CHRISTIAN, so I MUST think gay people should go to hell.
I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.
I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world.
I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.
When you rearrange the letters:
THE MORSE CODE :
ELECTION - RESULTS:
A DECIMAL POINT:
ELEVEN PLUS TWO:
YOU KNOW YOU'RE AN AUTHOR IF...
You talk to yourself a lot. (A lot meaning all the time...)
You talk to yourself about talking to yourself. (e.g. 'Why do I constantly ask my self random things?')
When you talk to yourself you often talk to yourself like you're talking to someone else. (e.g. 'Have you ever noticed that deliver could mean someone's liver?')
After uttering a profound piece of wisdom like that above, you stare at the cookie in your hand with awe and say, "Wow,this stuff is great for sugar highs...'
You live off of sugar and caffeine (the two greatest things ever discovered!)
You'll check your e-mail every day of the week and then disappear off the face of the earth.
You're e-mails tend to be pages long and incredibly random.
When replying to an e-mail, you'll never actually address the point of it.
You tend to collect Bic Stics off the ground like picking pennies off the ground.
No matter where you are in a room you never have to get up to find a pen/pencil and paper.
The letters on your keyboard are wearing off. (well no, but I've gone though A LOT of pencils)
Your friends and family think that you have carpal tunnel syndrome.
People think you have A.D.D.
You think it'd be cool to have A.D.D.
You constantly start talking in third person, present or past tense.(TOBI!)
You start thinking about making lists like this and start giggling for no "apparent" reason
Your friends stopped looking at you funny when you laugh for no apparent reason a loooooong time ago.
And FINALLY, the one way to tell if you're a good writer: You failed English 101.
(copy that into you're profile if you fit one or more of the descriptions)
Truths of Life
1. You cannot touch all your teeth with your tongue.
2. All idiots, after reading #1, will try it.
3. And discover that #1 is a lie.
4. You're smiling now because you're an idiot.
5. You soon will show this to another idiot.
6. There's still a stupid smile on your face.
I apologize about this.
But I'm an idiot and I needed company...
You now have 2 options... ignore this or post this on your file to put a smile on someone else's face today!
FRIENDS: Lend you their umbrella
BEST FRIENDS: Take yours and say 'RUN FREAK RUN!'
FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.
FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.
FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail.
FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.
FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.
FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.
FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.
FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.
FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.
FRIENDS: Are only through school/college.
FRIENDS: Will comfort you when the guy rejects you
BEST FRIENDS: Will go up to him and say 'its because your gay isn't it?'
FRIENDS: Would ignore this letter
BEST FRIENDS: Will repost this crappp!
ON ANOTHER MORE IMPORTANT NOTE... I INSIST THAT YOU CONVERT TO THE WAY OF JASHIN-SAMA, FOR HE HAS BLOOD, MASOCHISM, AND BEST OF ALL...HIDAN!!!!
JOIN TODAY! :) Lol jk