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Joined 05-04-12, id: 3986837, Profile Updated: 01-22-14
Author has written 1 story for Maximum Ride.

Hey, This is just stuff to fill the not-so-empty-anymore space below, so prepare to laugh your ass off. Maybe not. I probably just have an odd

sense of humor. No matter. LUV, FarCrest

Random Quotes and funny things!!!:)

Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling?

The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory.

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car

Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.

"Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take it anyway." - Joey Adams

"Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the world together."

Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway

Worst excuse for not turning in homework: I couldn't find anyone to copy it from

Constantly choosing the lesser of two evils is still choosing evil. - Jerry Garcia

When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room

The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on. - Robert Bloch

There are three sides of an argument -- your side, my side and the right side.

Whatever it is -- I didn't do it!

You know its going to be a bad day when you fall out of bed and miss the floor.

Life isn't passing me by, it's trying to run me over.

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid.

Education is important. Although school is another matter entirely.

Amateurs built the Ark. Professionals built the Titanic.

Always forgive your enemies, it's the best way to annoy them out of their minds.

I used to be normal, until I met those freaks I now call my best friends.

I ran with scissors and lived!

I don't obsess. I just think intensely.

When life gives you lemons, make grape juice. Then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it.

When life gives you lemons, throw them back and demand a refund.

The knack of flying is attempting to fall . . . and missing the ground.

Somebody needs a happy meal.

Having the love of your life say "we can still be friends," is like your dog dying, and your mom saying you can keep it.

You're just jealous that the little voices are talking to me.

I knew something was wrong when my imaginary friends would talk to me.

My imaginary friend thinks you have serious problems.

The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense

My knight in shining armour turned out to be a loser in aluminium foil.

Never knock on Deaths door. Ring the doorbell and run away; he hates that.

Your weirdness is creeping my imaginary friend out.

One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh, he took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions.

Happiness is just around the corner! Too bad the world is round!

You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.

Mothers of teens know why some animals eat their young.

I'm so gangster, I carry a squirt gun.

Remember what you just said, because tomorrow I am going to have a witty and sarcastic comeback and you'll be devastated then!

You can't wait for inspiration; you have to go after it with a club.

Asking a writer what he thinks about criticism is like asking a fire hydrant what it thinks about dogs.

My friends are the type of people who would try to drown a fish, but I love them anyway.

Sometimes I lie awake at night and ask, "Where have I gone wrong?" Then a voice says to me, "This is going to take more than one night."

Ooooo . . . A life. Where can I download one?

I apologize, do you want me to mean it too?

The dinosaurs extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide.

Doctors say I have multiple personality disorder. We disagree with that.

You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted then used against you.

People who say anything's possible haven't tried to slam a revolving door

Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.

The road to success is always under construction.

Why is it called 'after dark' when it really is 'after light'?

I live in my own little world, but it's okay, they know me there.

Oh, I have a photographic memory... it just hasn't developed yet

I have run into inanimate objects...and then blame them for it

Of course I’m talking to myself. Who else can I trust?

I’ll try to be nicer if you try to be smarter

Sarcasm is your body’s natural defense against stupidity

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up

364 days of the year, parents tell their kids not to take candy from strangers, yet on Halloween, its encouraged! Why is that?

If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, copy this to show your awesomeness

I am on a quest to the deepest, darkest corners of my room in search of what some would call "a floor"--a long and difficult task awaits me. Wish me luck, my friends, for I may not return alive

20 ways to maintain a healthy level of insanity

1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if anyone slows down.

2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.

3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that

4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "In"

5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for three weeks. Once everyone is over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso

6. In the memo field of all your checks write, "For Smuggling Diamonds"

7. Finish all your sentences with "In Accordance to the Prophecy"

8. Don't use any punctuation

9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk

10. Order diet water with a serious face whenever you go out to eat

11. Specify that your Drive-Thru order is To Go

12. Sing Along at the opera

13. Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day

14. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme

15. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't go to their party because you're not in the mood

16. Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Bottom

17. When money comes out of the ATM, scream "I won! I won!"

18. When leaving the zoo, start running and screaming "Run for your lives! They're loose!"

19. Tell your children over dinner, "Due to the economy, we're going to have to let one of you go"

20. And the final way to keep a healthy level of insanity, post this on your profile and make somebody smile!

Fifteen things to do in Wal-Mart

1. Set all the alarm clocks in housewares to go off at 5 minute intervals

2. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms

3. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone "Code 3 in warehouses"...see what happens.

4. Go to the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&Ms on lay away

5. Move a "CAUTION: WET FLOOR" sign to a carpeted area

6. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell the other customers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department

7. When a clerk asks if they can help you, cry and ask "Why can't you people just leave me alone?!"

8. Look right into the security camera, use it as a mirror, and pick your nose

9. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the antidepressants are

10. Roam around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme

11. Hide in a clothing rack and when people are browsing say, "Pick me! PICK ME!"

12. In the auto department, practice your Madonna look

13. When an announcement comes on over the loud speaker, jump into the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!"

14. Go into a fitting room, wait a while, then yell "There's no toilet paper in here!"

15. Grab a bunch of bouncy balls, throw them down the aisle and yell, "Go Pikachu go!'

Favorite Maximum Ride Quotes

"Holy (insert swear word of your choice here.)"-Max-TAE

"Well, I have a highly developed sense of irony."-Iggy-STWAOES

Gazzy thought. "I have X-ray vision," he said. He peered at ter Borcht's chest, then blinked and looked alarmed.-Gazzy-STWAOES

Nudge tapped one finger against her chin. "Um..." Her face brightened. "I once ate nine Snickers bars in one sitting. Without barfing. That was a record!" "Hardly a special talent," ter Borcht said witheringly. Nudge was offended. "Yeah? Let's see YOU do it." ... ... "I vill now eat nine Snickers bars," Gazzy said in a perfect, creepy imitation of ter Borcht's voice, "visout bahfing."-Nudge, ter Bortch. and Gazzy-STWAOES

Ter Borcht asked. "You are a liability to your group. I assume you alvays hold on to someone's shirt, yes? Following dem closely?" "Only when I'm trying to steal their dessert"- ter Borhct and Iggy-STWAOES

"Man, you weigh a freaking ton! What have you been eating, rocks?" "Why, is your head missing some?" –Max and Fang-TAE

That was the funniest thing I'd heard in days. "You're kidding, right? Please tell me you have a stronger motive for me than 'fair is fair.' Life isn't fair, Dean...Nothing is fair, ever. That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard. I need to help you because fair is fair? Try, 'I need you to help me so I won't rip out your spine and beat you with it.' I might respond to that. Maybe."–Max-SOF

Max"What I said yesterday didn't mean anything! I love everyone in the flock! Plus, it was the Valium talking!" Fang: "Uh-huh. You just keep telling yourself that. You looove me." Max: (tries to punch him) Fang: "Pick a tree. I'll go carve our initials in it." Max: (screams and runs into bathroom)- Max and Fang-STWAOES

Max: "Fang! This is a huge break! Of course we should go check it out!" Fang: "But we're grounded." Max and Fang: (stare at each other for a second and burst out laughing)-Max and Fang-SOF

"In the dictionary, next to the word stress, there is a picture of a midsize mutant stuck inside a dog crate, wondering if her destiny is to be killed or to save the world. Okay, not really. But there should be." –Max-TAE

"They [Erasers] were bad fliers," Angel chimed in, "And in their minds, they weren't all kill the mutants, like they usually are. They were like, remember to flap!-Angel-SOF

"Jackpot, Max! Jackpot!" It was Fang and he was giggling hysterically. For those of you just joining us, Fang doesn't giggle, especially hysterically.-Max-FANG

"Tell me again what we're doing here," I said, running a continuous scan of our surroundings. Fang popped some Cracker Jack into his mouth. "We're here to watch manly men do manly things." I followed Fang's line of sight: He was watching the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders, who were not doing manly things, by any stretch of the imagination.-Max and Fang-STWAOES

"But if you think I'm going to let you give up on us now, you've got another think coming. Yes, you're a blind mutant freak, but you're my blind mutant freak, and you're coming with me, now, you're coming with us right now, or I swear I will kick your skinny white ass from here to the middle of next week. Iggy raised his head. Flashes of light told me that the cops were almost on top of us. Iggy, I need you," I said urgently. "I loveyou. I need all of you, all five of you, to fell whole myself. Now get up, before I kill you." Iggy stood. "Well, when you put it that way..."- Max and Iggy-SOF

Fang grins, "You looove me. (holds out arms) You love me this much."-Fang-STWAOES

Iggy: "What about me?" (stands still) Max: "No, you're visible." Iggy: "Am not!" Max: (throws a pine cone at him) "Could I do that if I wouldn't see you?"-Max and Iggy-MR-TFW"

Max: "Okay guys, I had a couple thoughts I wanted to go over with you." Iggy: (pretends to snore loudly) Max: (throws another pine cone at him) Iggy: "Quit throwing things at me!"- Max and Iggy-TFW

"No," my mom replied, trying to keep a straight face. "She's cooking." Quick, alarmed glances were exchanged among the flock. "" Nudge asked. I heard someone murmur something about ordering a pizza. -Mrs.Martinez-MAX

Iggy: Can I come in? Max: No! I'm in a towel! Iggy: I'm blind!-Max and Iggy-SOF

Mad crazy, not mad angry, though a lot of them do seem to have anger management issues, especially around me. -Max-STWAOES

"Does anyone want to sing 'Ninety-nine Bottles of Beer on the Wall?" "NO!"-Fang and Flock-SOF

"Fang, Fang, Fang. I love you. I love you this much." "Oh, Jeez." -Max and Fang-STWAOES

I made one of my famous snap decisions, the kind that everyone remembers later for being either the stupidest dumb-butt thing they ever saw or else the miraculous saving of the day. I seemed to hear more of the first kind. That's gratitude for you.-Max-TAE

"I love Nudge, Nudge is a great kid, but that motor mouth of hers could have turned Mother Teresa into an ax murderer,"-Max-MR-TAE

"Rowr!" -Fang-SOF

"How did you know that it wasn't really me?" "She offered to cook breakfast."-Max and Fang-SOF

"Those wacky Brits called fries 'chips'. And potato chips were 'crisps'. And cookies were 'biscuits'. I had no idea what real biscuits were called. Wangdoodles?" Max-STWAOES

You... are...a... fridge...with...wings...We're...freaking...ballet...dancers! Fang-SOF

Fang swerved closer to me, big and supremely graceful, like a black panther with wings. Oh, God. I'm so stupid. Forget I just said that. -Max-MAX

"I feel like pudding, Pudding with nerve endings. Pudding in great pain." -Iggy-TAE

"I vill now destroy de Snickuhs bahs!" -Gazzy-STWAOES

“So there you have it, the extent of my charms: brown hair and eyes like un-barfed chocolate. I'm a lucky girl." – Max-MAX

"Did you leave the flamethrowers lying around again?" "I always forget."- Max and Fang

"Quit what? Breathing?"- Fang-TAE

Reason number 52 why Gazzy wasn't the flock leader-Max-TFW

List Twelve character from favorite book in no particular order

1. Max

2. Fang

3. Iggy

4. Angel

5. Nudge

6. Gazzy

7. Ella

8. Dr. M

9. Mike (from the subway tunnels in NYC in TAE)

10. Jeb

11. Dylan

12. Ari

Have you ever read a Six(Gazzy)/Eleven(Dylan) fic? Do you want to?


Would 5(Nudge) and 6(Gazzy) make a good couple?

I'm not sure. If Gazzy were older then yes, but not exactly...

Do you think Two(Fang) is hawt? ...How hawt?

Kinda. Scale from one to ten, he's probably an eight. But Iggy is hotter. Scale from one to ten, Iggy is a twelve. Boo-yah!

How would Four(Angel) and Six(Gazzy) work as a couple?


What about Seven(Ella) and Two(Fang)?

Never thought of it. I seem to be the only one who doesn't like Fax, but I don't think that would work either.

What would happen if Twelve(Ari) got Eight(Dr. M) pregnant?

No. Not just because of the age difference, but it's wrong. Just wrong.

Can you recall any fanfics about Nine(Mike)? Were they good?

I haven't read a fanfic about Mike, actually. I've read fanfics that have him in it, but not the main character.

Would One(Max) and Two(Fang) make a good couple?

No. I still haven't forgiven Fang for leaving Max. I think he's a jerk and Max is honestly better off with Dylan, because he's so sweet and he really cares about her.

Five(Nudge)/Nine(Mike) or Five(Nudge)/Ten(Jeb)? Why?

I have to say Mike and Nudge because my other choice is just wrong... Really wrong.

Is there any such thing as a One(Max)/Eight(Dr. M) fluff?

No... Milf.

How does One(Max) feel about Twelve(Ari)?

Ari is Max's half brother who died a terrible death and she loved him like a brother at the end of his short, hard life. So, yeah. I can be deep.

Would Ten(Jeb) ever get with Four(Angel)?


What would Two(Fang) do if Three(Iggy) got Four(Angel) pregnant?

Fang would probably want to kill Iggy, but Max would beat him to it.

(1)and (3) are in a happy relationship until (3) runs off with (5). (1), brokenhearted, has a hot one-night stand with (2), then follows the wise advice of (7) and finds true love with (11).

Max and Iggy are in a happy relationship until Iggy runs off with Nudge. Max, brokenhearted, has a hot one-night stand with Fang, then follows the wise advice of Ella and finds true love with Dylan.

Would you ever write the story above?

Maybe I would, because it turned out so absolutely fantastical. I'm still shocked at how perfect that was. I mean, WOW. I must be PSYCHIC!!! Yay! Maybe I will write that.


So, here's how it works: 1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc) 2. Put it on shuffle 3. Press play 4. For every question, type the song that's playing 5. When you go to a new question, press the next button 6. Don't lie and try to pretend your cool... and a lot of the songs fit with the setting

Opening Credits: Makes me Wonder by Maroon 5 (I don't know.)

Waking Up: Little House by Amanda Seyfried (Meh.)

First Day At School: All Star by Smash Mouth (Heh.)

Falling In Love: Like It Or Leave It by Aly and AJ (Sure.)

Fight Song: Riot by Three Days Grace (Yeah!)

Breaking Up: What I know by Parachute (Okay, whatever.)

Prom night: I love you by Avril Lavigne (Avril Lavigne!!!!! Love her!)

Life: Take A Bow by Rihanna (LOVE this song!)

Mental Breakdown: Breathe by He is We (Sure.)

Driving: Closing Time by Semisonic (Love that song.)

Flashback: Ordinary Day by Vanessa Carlton (Okay.)

Getting back together: Breathe by Anna Nalick (What is with songs called Breathe? Whatever this is a good song.)

Wedding: Over My Head by The Fray (Ummm)

Birth of Child: Whisper by Evanescence (Who said I'm going to have a kid??!! And not with that song in the background! D:

Final Battle: Headstrong by Trapt (Yeah!!! I'm awesome! I get Headstrong for my battle song!)

Funeral Song: Kiss It All Better by He is We (Uhh. Sure? Holy crap, according to this song, the love of my life is in jail! Haha! -.- I don't care. I'm dead.)

Final Credits: Come Around by Rosi Golan (I'm dead. How would I know what the ending credits are? Wait... why are there ending credits to my life????)

Okay, that was my random stuff to fill this empty space( not empty anymore LOL). I love whoever actually read all of it! NOT LIKE THAT, WEIRD PEOPLE OUT THERE! Anyway...

Links to stuff on my stories!

Max's awesome bedroom:

Max's awesome house:

Max's flock's awesome Tree House:

J.J.'s house!:

Old Flock's house:




GABE'S AWESOME FACE!(I know it doesn't look like Max, but bear with me on this.):

ICE'S AWESOME FACE!: She looks formal. Huh.







Fang's face:

Iggy's hot face!:

Nudge's face:

Gazzy's face:

Angel's face:

Done with all the faces! Awwww. Skyla's so cute! Grr. My hands are cramping. Now I have to show you chappie 2 outfits!

Max's outfit:

Sky's outfit:

Hunter's outfit:

Gabe's outfit:

Ella's outfit:

J.J.'s outfit:

Ice's outfit:

Derek's outfit:

Nix's outfit:

Ari's outfit:

TOO MANY OUTFITS!!!! ARGGGGHHHHHHH! But, I'm done. Yay! I love you, my subjects! I bid you goodbye!

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How to Watch 'Hicca and Her Dragon' by Heart of the Night Fury reviews
After the flight with Austen, all the residents of Berk(including all of the dragons) are summoned to me secret lair to watch a certain movie. The thing is, this movie has to do with Hicca and her beloved Toothless. (Story now up!)
How to Train Your Dragon - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 8 - Words: 29,727 - Reviews: 116 - Favs: 374 - Follows: 360 - Updated: 1/16/2017 - Published: 7/29/2014
Kit to Fox by demonsnight reviews
Eighth year. The war is over, classes have started back accident takes place when Neville's potion goes wrong and exploded on Harry. Harry, now 5 years old with some new, unexpected furry appendages, is to be taken care of by none other than Draco Malfoy. Now. Draco has to protect Harry from memories of the past while dealing with new found affections. DMHP. Creature!Harry
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 22 - Words: 27,708 - Reviews: 147 - Favs: 329 - Follows: 454 - Updated: 1/12/2017 - Published: 8/12/2014 - [Draco M., Harry P.]
I Got a Boy by flyingcrowbar reviews
Bolt Academy is an elite all-boys school. But it has the most challenging architecture program in the country. Desperate, Annabeth Chase chops off her hair, binds her chest and goes by Andy to achieve her dream. But when her roommate Percy Jackson - a national swimming champion - begins to develop feelings for "Andy," homophobic classmates try to tear them apart. A Hana-Kimi redux.
Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 39 - Words: 145,150 - Reviews: 3251 - Favs: 2,383 - Follows: 2,315 - Updated: 6/16/2016 - Published: 8/13/2014 - Annabeth C., Percy J., Piper M., Jason G. - Complete
Characters Watch the Adventures-HTTYD by Spyrite Vesta reviews
Hiccup was just trying to get ready for her final exam, when suddenly she and all of Berk are transported to a mysterious place so that they can watch all of her interactions with Toothless! Odin's Beard, what has she gotten herself into! Fem!Hiccup Human!Toothless Watching the movie fic
How to Train Your Dragon - Rated: T - English - Humor/Fantasy - Chapters: 8 - Words: 30,405 - Reviews: 294 - Favs: 506 - Follows: 491 - Updated: 2/21/2016 - Published: 8/31/2014 - [Hiccup, Toothless]
Spellbound by writergirl8 reviews
Percy always thought the most bewitching thing he could discover at Hogwarts was magic. Then he met Annabeth Chase.
Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 94,400 - Reviews: 161 - Favs: 603 - Follows: 271 - Updated: 5/26/2015 - Published: 6/26/2014 - Annabeth C., Percy J. - Complete
Meeting at Iðavöllr by Midoriko-sama reviews
Third Edda in the 'Becoming' universe. A series of one-shots covering the occurrences that follow after The Thing and Snoggletog; gaps may span weeks, months or years. Updates will be sporadic. Rating will change for future chapters.
How to Train Your Dragon - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 12 - Words: 82,927 - Reviews: 267 - Favs: 675 - Follows: 530 - Updated: 5/24/2015 - Published: 8/13/2014 - [Astrid, Hiccup] - Complete
To Tame a Land by Nightquesttarja reviews
After both Hiccup and Valka are taken by a dragon, a grieving and furious Stoick vows to revenge their deaths by defeating the legendary Dragon Masters whom he thinks are responsible. Only he doesn't know that they are his wife and son.
How to Train Your Dragon - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Fantasy - Chapters: 27 - Words: 145,500 - Reviews: 490 - Favs: 557 - Follows: 661 - Updated: 4/13/2015 - Published: 7/27/2014 - Hiccup, Stoick, Toothless, Valka
Wrong Number by EffervescentGrace reviews
10.25am- Okay, okay. What do you get if you cross a snowman and a vampire? 10.27am- Let me guess- frost bite? 10.29am- Hey, look who knows jokes AKA Nico accidently texts the wrong number and finds himself talking to a cheerful college student with a sun complex. AU. Solangelo. REUPLOADED FROM MY OLD ACCOUNT!
Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 14 - Words: 35,126 - Reviews: 564 - Favs: 643 - Follows: 391 - Updated: 2/9/2015 - Published: 12/17/2014 - Nico A., Percy J., Will S., Lou E. - Complete
Stucco Hearts by writergirl8 reviews
Percy Jackson and Annabeth Chase are soul mates. They know this because the small timers on their inner wrists tell them that they are meant to be. In theory, it will be easy for Annabeth to keep up the wall that surrounds her heart and stop herself from falling for Percy. In execution? Well, that's a completely different story. Cover art by magnssen. Story by Ananbeth and rongasm.
Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 16 - Words: 83,273 - Reviews: 631 - Favs: 1,144 - Follows: 788 - Updated: 1/11/2015 - Published: 9/21/2014 - Annabeth C., Percy J. - Complete
Damned Lullabye by bookworm0492 reviews
A lullaby for the children created and killed in the Itex laboratories. I can picture either Max or Nudge singing it...
Maximum Ride - Rated: K+ - English - Poetry/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 388 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 2 - Published: 5/10/2008 - Complete
Keep Holding On reviews
'I scratched at Omega's hands, knowing I couldn't loosen them. Knowing this is the end. I listened to the distant cry's of Angel and Nudge. I tried to swallow, but Omega's hands just clamped tighter around my neck.' One-shot about Max's death. Rated T for character death.
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Drama/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,366 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 7/22/2012 - Published: 6/25/2012 - Max - Complete