Poll: Which missions should Naruto take before he leaves with Jiraiya, in Naruto: Fractured Fate? Vote Now!
Author has written 5 stories for Fallout, Marvel, Naruto, and Game X-overs.
Hello all! 10,000 Fists here, and I am new on this scene! That's right! We have yet another over-educated, American live-in. I am a male, 20's-ish, college boy residing in the North-East of these United States (Go America!). Got two stories up, and I should have more, but I am only on the first chapters of those, so I am putting them all into a single work, called, 'A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Plot'. No idea when that will be up, though.
1. Mary Sues- Can't stand these people. I have always valued the under powered, Under dogs more than any superhero, because without the protagonist being weaker than the antagonist there is no serious conflict. There are, however, exceptions to this rule. The Doctor, Superman, and Batman, are such exceptions because they all have glaring weaknesses. The Doctor's compassion for Human-kind is employed against him time and again, Superman has kryptonite (obvious), and Batman is mortal, and has to suffer all kinds of debilitating injuries over the course of his career.
2. Any Fanfic whose summary has a rhetorical question followed by an answer followed by the words, 'Of Course!'- Because every single other person on the planet would make your particular jump of logic because, lets face it, we are all thinking the exact same thing (sarcasm). Or if it's so obvious that one has to include 'Of Course' in the description, then it should be obvious enough not to have to point it out in the first place. Ergo, the only purposes your statement serves are to concrete your (the writer's) opinion about where you want the story to head, and to serve as a warning as sure as any sign of 'Yaoi' of EXACTLY where it is you intend to put that story.
3. Stories that Dissapoint- With these stories, you find yourself thinking that 'This one has it all! The Romance, the Action, the Humor, the Plot, the character development. There is nothing that this story can do wrong.' And then they do. Oh, it doesn't have to be something enormous (like someone declaring love for someone else out of nowhere, the sudden appearance of dead people/Mary Sues, or even God himself (or some godlike figure) coming down and helping out the character), it can be a small thing (deliberately going against where you said the story was going, contradicting something earlier that was stated as fact, etc). But then the mistakes start to snowball. The character is figuring things out as a plot device (SASUKE!), inconsistent character development, now the vocabulary is off, now the spelling is! It's like someone else is writing this story! Then you get to the end, because you were 3/4 of the way through, of course you were going to finish, and all you feel is discontent. You wish you never started that story, because it got your hopes up in the beginning, then crashed them into the ground, making it hurt all the more than if it were just trash to be avoided all along.
4. Lazy Protagonists- You'll find this a lot in stories, particularly in the beginning of them. The lazy doesn't necessarily mean that the character is Sloth, but that they don't realize their potential. Harry Potter, for instance, casts, consistently, a grand total of less than 15 spells. Before he graduated school, his father was a master of transfiguration who, along with all of his friends, learned to be animagi. His mother was extremely gifted with charms. Dumbledore was being hailed as one of the greatest up and coming wizards of all time, as was Riddle who was also laying the foundation for his future dark empire. Even Draco Malfoy masters legillimency before his sixth year. But Harry is content to wait and let the Dark Lord find him. This would be fine when he was a child and he didn't know the danger, but after second year, and fourth year at a stretch, he should have gotten more on top of his game, not to mention after fifth year. I imagine a conversation between Ron and a serious harry going like this. "Hey Harry, me and the team are heading down to the quidditch pitch for a game, and then over to the Three Broomsticks for a pint of Butter Beer. D'you wanna come?" and Harry says. "No thanks. I'm studying up on how to alter spells to track heat. It should give me an advantage over those Death Munchers." "But Harry" Ron says, "You study all the time! How about a quick game?" "No Ron, I have to study now, so that I live when an evil Wizard pops up and tries to murder my face...again...like they do every year." Get on the ball.
What makes a Good Fanfiction?
What is it that makes a fanfic noteworthy, or worthy to be praised? That make us read on in awe, or cry in joy or shed tears of sorrow?
We should divide this undertaking into parts, if we try to piece together the entire portrait at the same time, this endeavor is doomed to failure.
1. What makes a good beginning?
-A good beginning starts with a good series, or the foundation imparted onto you by the author previous. It is from here that we can make (an) adjustments.
-Another thing that makes a good beginning is a simple/small change. This is nowhere more evident than in stories like 'Forging the Sword', 'Prince of the Dark Kingdom', and 'Better Left Unsaid'. In all three stories, the author makes a small change that completely redesigns the entire series, most notably the main character around which the fanfic develops.
2. What makes a good plot?
-A good plot first establishes the setting (Main Character(s), area, and normal routine for the characters)
-It then should be centered around conflict. Not neccesarily battles and explosions(although I believe violent conflict is integral to any truly great story), but any kind of conflict. Romantic, Violent, Environmental(not eco-friendly, but when the main character is lost adrift in a foreign land, and must adapt to the rules/customs of this new place), etc, etc, are all valid forms of conflict. Be sure to be liberal with the conflict that you impose upon your main character.
3. What makes a good ending?
-The climax of your story brings everything that happened over the course of your story to bear. It can end in one almighty clash between the Hero and their Arch-Nemesis, a confession of love between characters, the birth of a child, or any one of a hundred different ways. The thing to keep in mind is that this is where the conflict reaches it's highest point, and thus should be suitably epic or awe inspiring. This part should bring the readers to the edge of their seats as they read, barely daring to hope for a fruitful conclusion.
-The conclusion is where the story gets wrapped up, and all the extraneous tangled pieces of the story form a single remarkable whole. That is, unless you're planning on a sequel, in which case leave a fair number of issues unresolved so you actually have something to write about(the best series for leaving an appropriate number of issues unresloved is the Dresden Files). You have the villain defeated, the girl rescued, and the friends are alive. That is if you are going for the single story route. If you want a sequel. Kill off a friend or two, let the villain escape despite all the sacrifices the hero makes to prevent it, and make it so that the girl is so traumatized that she cannot ever go back to the life she once lived.
Why I hate Road to Ninja
This movie generated a lot of hype over the course of the past year or so due to the extreme attraction to the idea of an alternate Naruto reality. The questions were boundless. What would it be like? What is different? Who will be Hokage? What changes have been made in the history that would result in this new place? So many questions, many of them about the new personalities of the main characters that started appearing on the web. This movie looked like it was going to be really good!
So how was it? Terrible, absolutely terrible.
And here is why.
1. No Plot: There wasn't a plot in this movie. I know that seems ridiculous, but there wasn't. The original thing that makes the plot seem seem interesting was that Akatsuki were back and Alive, but that was never explained, and turns out is irrelevant, as in the other world they seem to actually just be mercenaries, which opens up a whole can of worms, like 'Why would Itachi be there?' or 'If Itachi is there, then doesn't that mean he killed his clan and is a wanted felon?' and 'If Itachi is a wanted felon, then what is the Hokage doing hiring him and his team later on in this picture?'. There was a McGuffin scroll that was supposed to solve the worlds problems that Naruto has to get but it isn't actually too important. The fact that all of Naruto's friends are radically different takes up all of one scene. Honestly. One scene. They might as well not even have been in the feature. Then there was Naruto's parents, who were in there for a quite a bit as Naruto reforms all of the attachments that he knows he will have to break as soon as leaves this parallel reality. This brings up a huge question, but we will save that for the next point.
2. Terrible Characterization: Honestly, no Naruto characters are actually done well. But the ones in the movie are especially bad. Starting with Sakura, she is a horribly selfish person. When they get to the alternate reality, she is actually hapy that she gets to take a brief vacation from her clinging, embarrassing parents. What she doesn't consider, is that Naruto is an orphan, who has for his entire life dreamed of living simply with parents that loved him, and he knows that now that he has it in this parallel reality, he is going to have to give it all up to go home, or forsake his duties to have his childhood dream. But nope, she just wants a vacation, and chides Naruto for being unhappy. Then there are all of Naruto's friends, but the biggest mystery of those is Sasuke. See, all of the others have a single difference, or a reflection, either physically or emotionally, some aspect of their personality that is the opposite of what it was in the other reality. Tsunade has small breasts, Hinata is confident, Shino hates bugs, Kiba is a cat person, Ino is shy, you get the idea. Sasuke is a ladies man. So what does that reflect back to? He isn't overt back in Canon-verse? Or that he doesn't like women? There are a few things it could mean, but none of them reflect well upon any future pairings with Sasuke. The most screwed up thing, is Naruto's parents. Naruto is named Menma in that reality, and the reflected version of him is evil, so one assumes that that was the different character trait. So if Menma was evil, why do his parents immediately think that he is just like their son? That they wouldn't recognize their son's personality to the point that they would recognize someone with the complete opposite personality but the same face put's the parents innatentiveness to their son at such a level that it isn't a surprise that he went evil. And here is something else. If reflected Naruto, Menma, was also a jiinchuriki, did Naruto's parents offer him to the Hokage as the tribute for being a container, or did Sakura's parents order them to give up their child?
3. Setting: Aside from Alternate Reality, what do we know about the world? Next to nothing. We don't know what is going on in the world at large, we don't know the history, and we don't know the characters. The characters were griped about above, but the situation in the world at large is never mentioned. Are they at war? Is it peacetime? What is going on with the villages? We don't know, never explained or mentioned. The history? Oh, by the way, Sakura's parents are dead and her dad was the fourth Hokage. So if he was, then he must have been profitable and powerful, or at least profitable enough to get a better house than an apartment right off a main street. Or why is Naruto's dad, whom was at the same skill level that he was in the other world, not the fifth Hokage? If there was a person who was young, and a candidate for Fourth Hokage, and the Fourth was dead from whatever, why not put him in charge?
If you have anything else to add, or to subtract, from the above statements, PM me, and we can discuss it at length.
Why Naru/Hina is so Awesome
Many people may gawk at the non-sequitorness of the statement above. Others may shake their head in disagreement, wondering why they are even still reading the rambling of a naive mind hopelessly clinging to some perfect imaginary world. Others still might shrug it off, say they have nothing better to do all the while remembering that people also put on their profiles their politcal standing on such fabulous issues like abortion (true story). For the few out there who are actually mildly interested in what I have to say, THIS IS FOR YOU!!!
1. Comparison of the Underdogs- Normally someone would put up for their first reason that they would only be inclined to pull for a Naru/Hina because they want to root for the Underdog. In this sense, Hinata is the Underdog in her quest to get Naruto. But I respond, "Isn't Naruto also an Underdog in his quest to win the affection of Sakura?" Naruto is nearly constantly put down by Sakura in favor of Sasuke in Part 1 (when they are both still 12-13). In part 2, the only two times to my knowledge when Sakura was being nice directly to Naruto was first, after she had hit his exhausted self upon returning from defeating Pein and thus saving the ENTIRE VILLAGE, and second, when she was pretending to confess her love to him. I call those long odds to win her affections. So now no matter which Underdog I back, I still am putting the other down (no pun intended). Thus I must analyze the reasons behind the quest to win others affections. Hinata wants to get with Naruto because she admires his strength, his confidence, and because she feels that if he believes in her, than she could do anything. Naruto wants to win Sakura's affection because she is attractive, and... also because... no, I got nothing. He just wants an attractive girl. In the entirety of the manga, the show, and the movies, I cannot recall Naruto at any point confessing exactly what it is that he finds attractive about Sakura that is not a physical characteristic. He confesses to others (Shizuka in the Adventures at Sea Arc) that he loves Sakura, but never explains why. Given the reasons presented before me, I cannot in good conscience allow Naruto to be with Sakura for only that shallow of a reason. So, NARU/HINA
2. Comparison of Hinata and Sakura- In the anime, the are literaly dozens of potential pairings. If we narrow it down to the three people most likely to end up with Naruto, it comes down to Hinata, Sakura, and Sasuke (I am loathe to put in this option, but honestly, if he thinks about Sasuke as much as he does in canon, it's either not healthy or sexual). Ignoring the Sasuke option we then have Sakura and Hinata. Let's take a look at how they act towards Naruto. Hinata most oftens faints, but she also tried to defend him from Pein while confessing her feelings towards him, and nearly died doing so. Now lets look at Sakura. I have yet to see an episode in the entire series where Sakura has abstained from beating Naruto in a brutal fashion. She also constantly puts him down, refers to him off-handedly as a moron/idiot/fool/baka and at one point boldly lies to him in order to get him to stop going after Sasuke. Now lets examine how they act towards others. Hinata acts passively, holds back her thoughts about others all the time, is timid/ shy in conversation, she cringes when people insult her (she seems to fold in on herself I think the phrase is), and she has little to no self worth, immediately jumping into the line of fire to save Naruto (twice) and accepts what people tell her about herself as truth (i.e., Neji insults her, and she thinks she is worthless while naruto puts faith in her and she thinks she is strong). Sakura is violent and rude towards everyone immediately around her (Sai, Naruto, Ino) with the exception of people she would actually get in trouble for yelling at or hiiting, and with the exception of people she hasn't had an opportunity to be rude to yet. When in battle, Sakura used to doubt herself through Part 1. Then she got her act together, managed to become superstrong, and ... still doubts herself too much to actually make any significant change through Part 2. She doesn't manage to fight Sasuke seriously at any time, but she saved the "Battle Paint" wearing puppeteer. Way to go. So we have an adoring, strong, shy, selfless character, and a rude, brusqe, useless character, who are both attractive and potential pairings. So, NARU/HINA
3. Emotional Support in the Relationship- In a proper relationship, the parties involved need to support each other, both physically and emotionally and physically during moments of significant stress. Let's examine those moments. Sakura in Part 1 doesn't really get into moments of significant stress while Naruto is awake except for when Sasuke has left her and then Naruto does support her and promise to bring back Sasuke. Hinata's moment of doubt is when she is about to face her cousin, and Naruto tells her that she can kick his ass, moralizing her. When Naruto doubts himself in his upcoming fight against Neji, it is Hinata who tells him he can do it. So Naruto is there for people, and Hinata is there for Naruto. In Part 2, there are few parts of duress where the characters need encouragement, so what are the little things in part 1 and 2 that show support. Saying someone looks pretty? Being there for someone when they need a friend? A jar of healing salve when they are hurt? All of the above. So part 1, when Naruto was hurt, Hinata gave him some healing salve for his wounds. When Sakura was feeling down, Naruto, disguised as Sasuke, lifted her spirits. None of them were there for each other as friends, though. Never there to help take their minds off of difficult times when they needed one, so we move on to part 2. When Naruto was being impaled and captured by Pein, it was Hinata who rushed in to her own mortal peril to save him. When Sakura is in mortal peril with Sasuke, it is Kakashi, and then Naruto that saves her. When Hinata was in mortal peril with Pein, no one saved her until Pein and Naruto had both left to have their fight. Part 2 on the whole, however, is very back and forth with character development and emotional attachment, so the signals are very mixed. Because of this, I have to judge pretty much exclusively based on part 1, and in that it is pretty clear that Naruto and Hinata are the ones who give the most emotional support. So, NARU/HINA
4. Conversation with the Parents- Many times over the course of a debate over whom Naruto should fall in love with, or what should be the true main pairing, the subject of Naruto's parents come up. Mostly the subject of parents in a discussion on relationships take a turn for the Freudian, but in these cases it is what Naruto's mother says to him when they spoke on Turtle Island. The words are, paraphrased, That Naruto needs to "Find some girl like me", me in this case referring to the speaker, his mother. When this gets brought up, the question immediately becomes, what in his mother is Naruto supposed to look for in other girls. Is it her nature, or her love for Naruto? Naturally any girl that Naruto wants to settle down with should love Naruto as much as he does her, so one would assume that his mothers dying would be about something more profound. But she is talking to a child, and along side such pieces of advice as go to bed early and eat your vegetables, so we have to take the most basic lesson out of it. So she means for Naruto to find a woman who loves him. As the Sakura and Hinata confessions are both already infamous and famous, respectively, I will go ahead and pick the latter based upon it's honesty. So, NARU/HINA
Why I dislike the Mangekyo Sharingan
1. Cost/Benefit: In the show when a character attains the Mangekyo, they have to do it by killing their best friend. That's completely understandable given the nature of the much touted 'Eyes of Misery'. When the characters use the power that this enhanced sharingan provides, it causes a detrimental loss in chakra, loss in vision (ironic for a clan with a prized doujutsu), and bleeding. However, all of those are cleared up magically when the character gets the NEXT stage of it. Before there was a ratio of cost to weigh against the benefits. Power has a price and all that. But once the Eternal form is unlocked, that entire stage just gets lobbed headfirst out of a fourth story window.
2. Inconsistent powers: Now, I would be fine with most of the powers filed under the Uchiha eyes. Enhanced hand eye cooirdination, photographic memory, these are completely understandable, as both actually relate to vision in one form of another. That whole platform is tossed, however, when the next tier gets introduced. At that stage Amaterasu, Susanoo and Tsukyomi are pulled out of a hat. I understand the need to power things up to make them seem bigger, so one of these could fly. Tsukyomi is a great illusion power, and since it completely dominates a victims mind, through the eyes would probably be a good way to send such an illusion. Amaterasu? Doesn't have much to do with sight at all, but the Uchiha were supposedly preternaturally obsessed with fire, so again, it can fly. Susanoo however, has absolutely no link with the Uchiha, and therefore should not be a thing. I know mecha's and monsters are cool, but leave them to Orochimaru's experimentation's and the Puppeteers, as in people who would actually have something like them. Then in addition to this, some space/time jutsu that creates wormholes or teleports you? How is that connected in any way? Between all of these powers there is no common thread.
3. The Tsukyomi: Here was something done terribly, terribly wrong. It is a jutsu that allows one to torture a persons mind for a period of 72 hours over and over again, the laws of that reality being written by the caster. But here's what I don't get. If you have a jutsu, where you can go in and physically alter part of someone's mind in order to even make this work, why couldn't you instead simply use it to implant suggestions? Danzo Shimura could have created dozens of sleeper agents with this one jutsu alone and basically run the world, and I would have respected him greatly for it. This would cause Naruto and co to actually attempt to break the mental conditioning of whatever important plot piece was going on then, instead of just once again relating to their past and causing them to go back on their beliefs and convictions. And that would have been awesome. We had a potential Inception here, and all we got was the Cell.
4. Rinnegan: See Uchiha Logic, Chapter 1.
5. Too Many Powers: The thing that just about everyone hates about the Sharingan (that hates the sharingan that is, Down fanboys, DOWN!) is that it is too overpowered. How is it overpowered? Several reasons, most of them contained in the points 1 and 2 above, but the final reason is because there are too many powers based off of it. It's like another one gets invented every chapter. Kinda like that particularly dense kid who keeps saying 'Everything-Proof shield!' on the playground is hated by all the other kids. Honestly, I would be allright if Kishimoto could throw up his hands and say, "Fine, every MS is like a snowflake! Each one gets its own individual power in addition to the base sharingan powers." That way, Madara has his MechaZord or whatever, Sasuke has his Fire, Itachi has illusions, and Tobi has time and space with Kakashi. And everyones on a similar field. Then when any of them switches eyes, they don't have their own power they can use without limit anymore, like Sasuke can use illusions infinitely, despite never using them. Pro and con.
6. Mary Sue:People get the wrong ideas about what it is to be strong in a comic like this. Largely the crowd that think Superman is the strongest because he can lift Oklahoma into space and throw it into the sun in an act of rather reprehensible waste management would be correct. He is strong, but he also has a very large glaring weakness that allows virtually anyone to take him down. To be strong in something like this, one must have a weakness that one covers very very well. Pein is a good example with the five second delay of power usage (five seconds being a lot when people flit by so fast you barely have time to shout a shocked "Outini!"), and Itachi was another one, with his downfall being the fact he abused the hell out of himself and was practically dead. Sasuke, Madara, and Tobi, however, have no weaknesses. No fatal flaw to be taken advantage of, and thus nothing really to care about when it comes to a fight. Sure, it would be somewhat entertaining to see Cthulu use a crowd of protestors to paint the things they are protesting with various shades of red mottled grey with not but a stern glance, but you would get the sense there was no real challenge in it. "But they are antagonists, their supposed to be uber powerful!" You cry. "No" I would respond, "That's stupid. They are supposed to be more powerful than the protagonist, or even less powerful but with greater skill in how they utilize the power they do have. If they were uber powerful, then there would be no real point fighting them, as they would simply get what they want anyway." "But they are!" You cry petulantly "That way Naru(co) can learn the value of teamwork and friendship in order to defeat them!" "I've ridden this train before." I snark back condescendingly "With bosses and arch-villains where you really felt everything was on the line, you could see that they did in fact have a weakness to being hit repeatedly, and eventually fall over. Whereas we all saw what the Uchiha Sues would do when faced with the power of friendship and superior firepower. They run out of health and mana and immediately call up their giant plot device so they can escape unharmed. This is not Resident Evil, the bosses don't need 19 death scenes before actually having the decency to die so one can move on with their lives. If someone realizes that they are overmatched and that the only thing holding them there is their pride, then have that be their downfall, not some 3/14 bs that only leaves me angrier."
Challenges (or ideas that I might try to use for stories later):
You know what? I have over a hundred different story ideas that I would like to see written, so If you are interested in a good challenge with a solid grounding, PM me, and we'll talk.
See challenges section
1. A warning to all of those who are looking forward to seeing Akatsuki in all of it's glory. There will be changes made to the characters and their personalities. Seamless improvements will be made to most, if not all, characters. Many of those character that are being changed are undervalued, under utilized, and dumb. Those who are worried about Itachi being changed, don't. He's fine. The man is already the 'Ninja version of Chuck Norris' (Sage of Seals), so his awesomeness need not be improved. Kisame may be less keen on sharks. Stuff like that. But all of this is down the road a bit, so you don'worry about this for awhile.
2. There are some other crossovers involved in this fic. Some of which have to do with the bit above. Mercer will make an appearance, for instance, but not as you know him.
3. The opponents in Naruto are too narrow, constricted even. They will be diversified. It will no longer be ninja's, and people-who-don't-look-like-ninja's-but-that's-because-they-are-ninja gods/legends-and-now-no-longer-need-to-worry-about-acting-like-a-ninja-should, summons, and occasionally a biijuu. There will be zombies, robots, ancient war machines, dark gods and their heralds... as well as all of the other stuff.
4. Naruto's choice of clothing is going to be changed in this fic, for the most part. He will still enjoy the color orange, but he will no longer wear a jumpsuit of it whilst mid mission. He is now too intelligent to let such a bright color possibly hurt his ability to hide in a scenario where hiding becomes a necessity. He will also be wearing armor soon.
5. Computers and Science. While originally part of Fallout and a part of this text, it has since been removed due to the lack of actual computers and 'seal masters' or electronic experts to construct them. So I have removed Science as a skill and had it replaced. Computers will still be seen occasionally, but Naruto will need instruction on how to use one, and he will be unable to access accounts without the corresponding passwords.
6. The guidebook. Will be out and posted as a chapter as soon as I finish it. Nearly done, just need a few more sections to fill in. And when I say a few more, I mean that there is seemingly a never-ending stream of one-last-details I need to put in for it to explain everything. At the present, it will also probably end up going into the side story of this one, containing Naruto's in different Play-through's.
Breaking the Rules Section
2. Chakra: Naruto will continue to find more uses and different applications for this throughout the story.
3. Relative Intelligence: I have been receiving an alarming number of correspondence to the point of blatant accusation regarding Naruto's intelligence, all of which agreeing that he is moronic, or astoundingly stupid. To answer all of those concerns, here is a one sentence answer, or rebuttal, to placate you. He is not. To elaborate, he is as intelligent as most children would be in his circumstances, and perhaps then some.
4. As many fans, I have a few problems with Marvel, and in particular some of their movies (I'm not going into Howard the Duck, that should be self explanatory), and none more so than both X-men the Last Stand, and Spiderman 3. Then the Reboot of Spider-man as well kinda messes with any reasonable timeline I could make where I could say with a straight face, "Yes, all of this is happening in the Same Universe." So it should come as no surprise that I am going to change things. At some points it will be an altered detail, or an alternate person. But in the cases of aforementioned crap storms, I am going to be doing what is called an "Overhaul". For instance, I am incorporating the Amazing Spiderman at the beginning of the Spider-Man franchise (Meaning it will go Amazing, then SM 1, 2, and 3(which will be radically different)). Wondering what I will do with them? PM me, or wait around for the updates like a normal person.
A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The Plot... Section
2. It will be ridiculous.
3. The stories that people find most attractive (ie they comment on the most) will be put up as their own free standing story provided they have enough material to do so.
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