Author has written 3 stories for G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra, X-Men: The Movie, and Avengers.
HI! HEY! YO! S'UP? WADDUP DAWGGG?!
Child of the wilderness
Never dreamed out in the world
So laugh in your loneliness
My most favorite quote ever:
When I came home last night at three
Last night I saw upon the stair
"When Life hands you lemons, make grape juice. Then sit back and watch the world try to figure out how the hell you did it."
"Treat me like a joke and I'll leave you like it's funny..."
"Sorry, I traded my heart for another liver. Now I drink more an careless."
“I am not an animal. I am brilliant and beautiful. Anything I want on this Earth I can take and no one can stop me. Simply, I am bored.”
Are you, are you
"I don't know where I'm going from here, but I promise it won't be boring." David Bowie
"Sorry, the elevator to success is out-of-order. You'll have to take the stairs-one step at a time."Anonymous
"Today you are YOU, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is youer than YOU!" Dr. Seuss
"WRITE to be understood, SPEAK to be heard, READ to grow." Lawrence P
Things to do in an elevator!!!(and yes, I have done ALL of these in my building [or library or anywhere they had an elevator] XD):
1. Crack open your briefcase or handbag, peer inside, and ask, "Got enough air in there?"
2. Stand silent and motionless in one corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
3. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to open the doors, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open by themselves.
4. Greet everyone with a warm handshake and ask them all to call you Admiral.
5. Meow occasionally.
6. Stare at another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM!" and back away slowly.
7. Say "DING!" at every floor.
8. Say "I wonder what all these do?" and push all the red buttons.
9. Make explosion noises whenever someone else pushes a button.
10. Stare grinning at another person for a while, then say, "I have new socks on."
11. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask, "Is that your beeper?"
12. Try to make personal calls on the emergency phone.
13. Draw a little square with chalk on the floor then say to the other passengers, "This is my personal space."
14. When there's only one other person on the elevator, tap them on the shoulder then pretend it wasn't you.(nearly got slapped on this one .-.)
15. As you are coming to the end of the journey, get emotional and have a group hug with the other passengers. Tell them that you will never forget them.
16. Ask if you can push the buttons for other people, but push the wrong ones.(got yelled at by an old man XD)
17. Hold the doors open and say that you're waiting for a friend. After a while, let the doors close and say, "Hi, Greg. How's your day been?"
18. Drop a pen and wait until someone bends to pick it up, then scream, "That's mine!"
19. Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.
20. Pretend that you're a flight attendant, and review emergency exits with the other passengers.
21. Swat at flies that don't exist.
22. Yell, "Group hug!", then enforce it.(only one person hugged me...)
23. Make race car noises when someone gets on or off.
24. Congradulate all for being in the same lift as you.
25. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering, "Shut up, all of you just shut UP!"
26. Walk in with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.(my landlady was on that day...)
27. While the doors are opening, hurriedly whisper, "Hide it...quick!", then whistle innocently.
28. Let your cell phone ring--don't answer it.
29. Walk into the lift and say, "This reminds me of being buried alive. Ah, those were the days..."
30. Take shoes off before entering. Then look shocked and disgusted when others don't.
31. Ask people which floor they want, then say, "Is that your final answer?"
32. Also in your bellboy act, ask people what floor they want. Whenever they answer, give them a glare and say, "You should be ashamed of yourself!"
33. Ask loudly, "Did you feel that?"
34. Tell different people that you can see their aura.
35. When the door closes, announce to the others, "It's okay. Don't panic, they open up again."
36. Announce in a demonic voice, "I must find a more suitable host body."(made a baby cry .-.)
37. Dress up in a long black cloak with a hood, stare at everyone, and in a deep voice announce: "It is time..."
38. Say your Majesty when anybody gets on.
39. Introduce yourself as Lord Voldemort.(one kid got on, i told him that and he said that he was Harry Potter...fun times XD)
40. Ask people which floor they want and why, and then announce that you're going to the floor with Olympus on it because you didn't steal any lightening.
41. Hang Ethan Hunt style from the ceiling of the elevator and speak ominously when someone enters "Heloooooooo"(I ALMOST FELL ON THE LADY)
42. Still hanging from the ceiling, drop onto whoever comes in.(CHECK ._.)
43. Try to make up and sing lyrics for the boring elevator music.
44. Try to start a My-Briefcase-is-better-than-yours contest.
45. Hold a ring and say, "My precious."
ACTUAL PRODUCT LABELS THAT SCARE ME:
On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. ( that's the only time I have to work on my hair).
On a bag of Fritos! ..You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special)?
On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be how?...)
On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's "just" a suggestion).
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh)!
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (...and you thought?...)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time?)
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and.. .I'm taking this because?...)
On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to...what?)
On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)
On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)
On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)
On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands." (...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
If you have ever had a crush on a book character, copy this to your profile. (I LOVE YOU JACE WAYLAND.)
If you wish that a fictional character was real, copy and paste this to your profile.
If you're a person who is longing for an adventure like the ones you read in books, copy and paste this to your profile.
If you have ever seen a movie (or show) so many times that you can quote it word for word. And you do at random moments; copy and paste this in your profile.
If every time you hear the word rum, you automatically think of Captain Jack Sparrow, copy and paste this into your profile
If there are characters on a certain show (no need to mention names) that you HATE BEYOND ALL REASON... copy and paste this into your profile
You are a writer IF...
-If you talk to yourself. (EX: I tell myself all my secrets...don't tell me I said so!)
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