PinkPolka-dottedGiraffes
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Joined 05-17-12, id: 4009467, Profile Updated: 02-18-13
Author has written 5 stories for Book X-overs, Misc. Books, Dance Academy, and Hannah Montana.

Hey! Welcome to PinkPolka-DottedGiraffes' profile page! Here you shall find random things with a side of unusual awesomeness and those lovely copy-and-paste thingies. Enjoy!

BTW you can now follow me on twitter! @pinkosaurusrex


This story is about a little girl that was abused. If you care about it, copy and paste it to your profile:
My name is sarah I am but three, My eyes are swollen I cannot see,
I must be stupid I must be bad, What else could have made My daddy so mad?
I wish I were better I wish I weren't ugly, Then maybe my mommy Would still want to hug me.
I can't speak at all I can't do a wrong Or else I'm locked up All the day long
When I awake I'm all alone The house is dark My folks aren't home.
When my mommy does come I'll try and be nice, So maybe I'll get just One whipping tonight
Don't make a sound! I just heard a car My daddy is back From Charlie's Bar.
I hear him curse My name he calls I press myself Against the wall.
I try and hide From his evil eyes I'm so afraid now I'm starting to cry.
He finds me weeping He shouts ugly words, He says its my fault That he suffers at work.
He slaps me and hits me And yells at me more, I finally get free And I run for the door.
He's already locked it And I start to bawl, He takes me and throws me Against the hard wall.
I fall to the floor With my bones nearly broken, And my daddy continues With more bad words spoken.
"I'm sorry!", I scream But its now much too late His face has been twisted Into unimaginable hate.
The hurt and the pain Again and again Oh please God, have mercy! Oh please let it end!
And he finally stops And heads for the door, While I lay there motionless Sprawled on the floor.
My name is Sarah And I am but three, Tonight my daddy, Murdered me.
Child abuse, MAKE IT STOP!


Jesus had no servants, yet they called him master.
He had no degree, yet they called him teacher.
He had no medicine, yet they called him healer.
He had no army, yet kings feared him.
He won no military battles, yet he conquered the world.
He committed no crime, yet they crucified him.
He was buried in a tomb, yet he lives today
Feel honoured to serve such a leader who loves us...
If you believe in God and that Jesus Christ is his son, then copy and paste this into your profile.
If you ignore him, in the Holy Bible, Jesus says:

" If you deny me before man, I will deny you before my Father in Heaven..."


FEMALE COMEBACKS

Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: Hiding from you.

Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.

Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.

Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.


Side by side or miles apart, friends are forever, close to your heart.

The words that escape a friends mouth are “I’ll be there when you need me” the words that are unheard from the friend’s heart are “I’ll be there whether you say you need me or not”.

Friendships aren’t about who you’ve known the longest, it’s about who came and never left your side. It’s the times when we’re crazy and people think were high. It’s the times we laugh so hard, we can’t help but cry. It’s all of our inside jokes and “remember whens” Those are the reasons we’re best friends


FRIEND: "Did you just fall?"
ME: "No I attacked the ground"
FRIEND: "Backwards?"
ME" "I'm freaking talented!"


Quotes:

A friend will stop you from overreacting. A best friend will be walking beside you, giggling, "Someone's gonna get it!"

The voices may not be real but they have awesome ideas!

Note to self: It's illegal to kill someone for being stupid

Don't knock on Death's door.. ring his doorbell and RUN! He hates that!

Shoot for the moon, cause if you miss you end up with the stars

Crazy is what you get!

Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life- define yourself.

Hope Peace Love Some things the world needs.

"You know what the trouble with real life is? There's no danger music." -Jim Carrey

If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2? It's always the last place you look. Of course it is why would I keep looking after I've found it?

Truth- Something I never hear anymore.

When life gives you lemons, squirt the juice in your enemies eyes.

Sarcasm- Learn it

Dreams come true everyday.

"A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing."

"Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid." - Unknown

"He who laughs last didn't get it." - Unknown

"When there's a will, I want to be in it." - Unknown

"A positive attitude may not solve all of your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort." HermAlbright

Firefighter: At one point we decided to fight fire with fire... Well...basically... your house burned even faster.

Don't tell me "Sky's the limit" when there's footsteps on the moon.

There are so many people out there who will tell you that you can't. What you've got to do is turn around and say "watch me."

Stand up for what you believe in- even if you stand alone!

Whoever says nothing was impossible never tried slamming a revolving door.

Nothing is IMPOSSIBLE The word itself says I'M POSSIBLE -Audrey Hepburun


Mummy...Johnny brought a gun to school, he told his friends that it was cool , and when he pulled the trigger back

It shot with a great crack! Mummy I was a good girl, I did what I was told, I went to school, I got straight A's, I even got the gold

But mummy when I went to school that day, I never said goodbye, I'm sorry mummy I had to go, but mommy please don't cry

When Johnny shot the gun he hit me and another, and all because he got the gun from his older brother

Mummy please tell daddy that I love him very much, and please tell Chris, my boyfriend, that it wasn't just a crush

And tell my little sister that she is the only one now, and tell my dear sweet grandmother that I'll be waiting for her now

And tell my wonderful friends that they were always the best

Mummy I'm not the first I'm no better than the rest, mummy tell my teachers I won't show up for class, and never to forget this and please don't let this pass

Mummy why'd it have to be me no one deserves this, mummy warn the others, mummy I left without a kiss

And mummy tell the doctors I know they really did try, I think I even saw a doctor trying not to cry

Mummy I'm slowly dying with a bullet in my chest, but mummy please remember I'm in heaven with the rest, mummy I ran as fast as I could when I heard that crack

Mummy listen to me if you would, I wanted to go to college, I wanted to try things that were new, I guess I'm not going with daddy, on that trip to the new zoo

I wanted to get married, I wanted to have a kid, I wanted to be an actress

Mummy I wanted to live, but mummy I must go now the time is getting late

Mummy tell my Chris, I'm sorry but I had to cancel the date , I love you mummy I always have, I know you know it's true

Mummy all I wanted to say is "mummy I love you",

In memory of the Columbian students that were lost

Please if you would, pass this around, I'd be happy if you could

Don't smash this on the ground, if you pass this on, maybe people will cry

Just keep this in heart, for the people that didn't get to say "goodbye"

Now you have 3 choices: A) Post this and show you care B) Ignore it and say crap about it. And I'll know you've got NO HEART C) Cry and copy this but you never read it again because it make you sad. Please just copy and post this.


IMPORTANT- Teenage girls who are NOT in love with Edward Cullen and Jacob Black are fast becoming an endangered species. If you are part of this endangered species, quickly email this!!! Quick, we need sponsors! :D:D:D:D:D

If you've ever walked under something that was about two feet above your head and ducked anyway, copy and paste this to your profile.


I went to a party, Mom, I remembered what you said.

You told me not to drink, Mom, so I drank soda instead.

I really felt proud inside, Mom, the way you said I would.

I didn't drink and drive, Mom, even though the others said I should.

I know I did the right thing, Mom, I know you are always right.

Now the party is finally ending, Mom, as everyone is driving out of sight.

As I got into my car, Mom, I knew I'd get home in one piece.

Because of the way you raised me, so responsible and sweet.

I started to drive away, Mom, but as I pulled out into the road,

the other car didn't see me, Mom, and hit me like a load.

As I lay there on the pavement, Mom, I hear the policeman say,

the other guy is drunk, Mom, and now I'm the one who will pay.

I'm lying here dying, Mom. . . I wish you'd get here soon.

How could this happen to me, Mom? My life just burst like a balloon.

There is blood all around me, Mom, and most of it is mine.

I hear the medic say I'll die in a short time.

I just want to tell you, Mom, I swear I didn't drink.

It was the others, Mom. The others didn't think.

He was probably at the same party as I.

The only difference is, he drank and I will die.

Why do people drink, Mom? It can ruin your whole life.

I'm feeling sharp pains now. Pains just like a knife.

The guy who hit me is walking, Mom, and I don't think it's fair.

I'm lying here dying, and all he can do is stare.

Tell my brother not to cry, Mom. Tell Daddy to be brave.

And when I go to heaven, Mom, put "Daddy's Girl" on my grave,

Someone should have told him, Mom, not to drink and drive,

If only they had told him, Mom, I would still be alive.

My breath is getting shorter, Mom. I'm becoming very scared.

Please don't cry for me, Mom. When I needed you, you were always there.

I have one last question, Mom, before I say goodbye.

I didn't drink and drive, so why am I the one to die?

I saw this on another person's profile, and I cried when I read it. Hundreds of people die every day because of DWI. And most of them are teenagers. Shouldn't this stop? This waste of life. Copy and paste this to your profile if you agree.


Annoying things to do on an elevator:

1. Drop a pen on puropse. when someone goes to pick it up, yell "That's MINE!"

2. Scream, "They are coimg for me!" when the doors open.

3. Stare at another passenger, when they turn to look at you tell them, "I'm wearing my new socks today."

4. Draw a square around you with chalk, and then tell the other riders, "This is MY personal space."

5. Ask to press someone's floor button, then purposely press the wrong one.

6. Every time the elevator doors open say, "Ding."

7. Meow occasionally

8. When it comes your turn to get off, go up to the door and strain to pull them open, when they open by themselves act embarrassed.

9. Stare at another rider and then announce in horror, "You're one of THEM." and slowly back away

10. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"

11. Try to make personal calls on the emergency phone.

12. When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.

13. Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.

14. Hold the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?"

15. Pretend you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the Passengers.

16. Swat at flies that don't exist.

17. Call out "Group hug" then enforce it

18. Say "I wonder what all these do?" And push all the red buttons.

19. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

20. Crack open your briefcase or handbag, peer inside and ask "Got enough air in there?"

21. Stand silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.

22. Greet everyone with a handshake and ask that they call you Admiral.

23. Take pictures of everyone on the elevator.


If you've never had chicken pox, measles, food poisoning, or any of that stuff, then copy and paste this into your profile

If books are your life and you absolutely CAN'T live without them then copy and paste this into your profile

If you are NOT like other girls, then copy and paste this into your profile

96% of girls would cry if they saw Justin Bieber about to jump from a very high plane 20,000 feet in the air with no parachute. If you're in the 4% that would bring a cooler of food and drinks and a lawnchair and watch then copy and paste this in your profile. (I'd video tape it!)

Boys are like slinkys, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile.

I've learned...that life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes

If you have ever tripped up the stairs, copy this into your profile.

If you hate those irritating mosquitos giving you mosquito bites, copy this in your profile.

If you like chocolate as much as I do, copy this in your profile.

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile

Boys are like trees-they take 50 years to grow up

Amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic...

I used to be normal, until I met the freaks that I call my friends =)

I agree with the dictionary. Girls before guys, partying before studying, and friends before love.

If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile!

If you adore chocolate and frequently suffer from chocolate cravings while you have no access to the heavenly substance, copy this into your profile.


RANDOM THINGS

1. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

2. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.

3. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

4. Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.

5. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.

6. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90 probability you'll get it wrong.

7. If you lined up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try to pass them, five or six at a time, on a hill, in the fog.

8. If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.

9. The things that come to those who wait, will be the things left by those who got there first.

10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat all day drinking beer.

11. A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.

12. The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.

13. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

14. When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of 12 people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.

15. If the shoe fits, buy it in every color!


16 Things to do in Wal-Mart!

1. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

2. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

3. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, " 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.

4. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

5. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

6. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

7. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

8. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

9. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.

10. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

11. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look"

12. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

13. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream.. "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!"

14. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!

15.Grap a lot of bouncy balls and throw them down the aisle, shouting, "Go, Pikachu, Go"

16. Go into the candy Isle and scream, " WHY DOES MY TOOTH HURT?"


If you've ever wished you could go into a book and strangle some of the characters for being so incredibly dumb, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever wondered why someone decided to milk a cow, copy/paste this in your profile.

If at one time you misspelled or forgot how to spell a word less than four letters...copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have ever insulted someone so stupid that they didn't get the insult, copy this into your profile

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile.


If you can read this message, you are blessed beacause over two million people in the world cannot read at all:

I cdnuolt blviee taht I cloud aulactly

uesdnatnrdwaht I was rdanig. The phaonmneal

pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't

mttaer in wht oredr ltteers in a wrod are, the

olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer

be in the rghitpclae. The rset can be tatol

mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.

Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed

ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wohle.

Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas toghuht slpeling

was ipomorantt! Tahts so cool!

If you could read that put it in your profile!

is that awesome or what?!


If you feel bad for Jacob Black...copy and paste this on your profile.

If you've ever done anything incredibly stupid for no apparent reason, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have ever fallen off a chair backwards, copy this into your profile

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think those stupid kids should just give the rabbit the freaking trix, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have a true friend, copy and paste this into your profile

93 percent of teenagers would have an emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you are part of the 7 percent that would say, "What was your first clue?" copy this onto your profile.

If you have ever missed your mouth when trying to take a sip of water, copy and paste this into your profile

If you make yourself look stupid on a daily basis, copy and paste this onto your profile

If you know the answer to life, the universe, and everything, copy and paste this to your profile. (Skittles and Dr. Pepper)

If you copy and paste so much that you often have to stop and think about whether or not you've already copy and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile

If you have ever had a thumb war with yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you walk and trip or stumble because your too busy reading a book copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are a person who acts friendly but has an evil mind and is secretly plotting world domination, copy and paste this into your profile.

If several inanimate objects hate you copy and paste this into your pro!

If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile.

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile.

Don't run in the school hall, gliding is more fun!

Life isn't passing me by, it's trying to run me over.

You laugh now because you're older than me by mere months, but when you're 30 and I'm still 29, who will be laughing then


Random Questions:

If the sky is the limit, then what is space? Over the limit?

Are children who act in 'R' rated moves allowed to see them?

Why is it when an adult with the mind of a child is locked up and put in a asylum, while children are allowed to run in the streets?

Whose cruel idea was it for the word 'lisp' to have an 's' in it?

If the swat team breaks down your door do they have to replace it later?

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink what comes out." ?

Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken over there ... I'm gonna eat the first thing that comes out of its butt."?

Isn't Disneyland just a people trap operated by a mouse?

Why are people so scared of mice, yet we all love Mickey Mouse?

Have you ever noticed that if you rearranged the letters in 'mother in law', they come out to 'Woman Hitler'?

Isn't it funny how the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli' meaning many, and 'tics' as in 'bloodsucking creatures'?

Why is it when we talk to God we are praying, but when God talks to us we are crazy?

Why is it when some products you have to turn upside down to read the directions, and the directions say do not turn down?

If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?

If you can't drink and drive, why do bars have parking lots?

If you jog backwards, will you gain weight?

If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

Since Americans throw rice at weddings, do Asians throw hamburgers?

If corn oil is made from corn, where do we get baby oil from?

If rabbits' feet are so lucky, then what happened to the rabbit?


The newscaster is the person who says "Good evening" and then tells you why it's not.

"Keep smiling, it makes people wonder what you're up to."

Silence is golden but ductape is silver.

Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a race car is not called a racist?

Patience isn’t a virtue; it’s a waste of time

Haters are your biggest fans

An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth leaves the world full of toothless blind people

I did not slap you. I simply high fived your face.

You're a great friend but if the zombies chase us, I'm tripping you.

Why the heck do you have my cookie in your hands? DROP IT NOW!!

Not only do I fall down stairs; I trip up them as well. Now that takes talent!

Hand over the Skittles and no one (painfully) dies.

I didn't fall for you; you tripped me.

Note to self: It is illegal to stab (hurt/duct tape/etc) people for being stupid.

Side by side or miles apart, friends are forever, close to your heart.

Don't follow in my footsteps; I run into walls.

OMG! OMG! OMG!...Wait, I forgot.

Normal people worry me.

It’s great to know your opinion even though no one cares.

-That, my children, is called a wall. But beware the wall is solid. Yes be afraid! Be very afraid for we cannot walk through it! Believe me children, for I have attempted this many times before.

-Some people are alive today, simply because it is illegal to kill them. (I know i put that 3 times)

-I got an A in philosophy because I proved my professor doesn’t exist.

-If your parents never had children, chances are you won’t either.

-Why is Charlie short for Charles if they are the same number of letters?

-Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone might actually clean them?

-There are no stupid questions – just a bunch of inquisitive idiots.

-Politics is war without bloodshed. War is politics with bloodshed.

-High School Musical 3 and Saw V were the two top movies at the box office when they opened. One depicted gruesome on screen torture. The other was about a guy with a saw.

-It takes 47 muscles to frown, 13 to smile and absolutely none to sit there with a dumb look on your face.

-People say satire is dead. It’s not dead. It’s alive and living in the White House.

-I’m not afraid to die. I just don’t want to be there when it happens.

-I do not deny everything.

-Sometimes the mind, for reasons we do not necessarily understand, just decides to go the store for a quart of milk.

-The only reason some people get lost in thought is because it is unfamiliar territory.

-Always proofread to make you sure you don’t any words out.

-I'm not short I'm fun sized.

-Love me or hate me personally I could care less

-Unless you've lived my life, don't judge me because you don't know, never have & never will know every little thing & detail about me

-You laugh now because you're older than me by mere months, but when you're 30 and I'm still 29, who will be laughing then.

-When you get caught looking at him, remember he was looking back.

-Girls are like phones, we love to be held, and talked to but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected!

-I'm the type of girl who will burst out laughing in dead silence over something that happened a year ago : )

-Isn't it ironic . . . we ignore those who adore us, adore those who ignore us, hurt those who love us, and love those who hurt us

-Don't follow in my footsteps . . . I run into walls.

-Do you want to know why I'm still on earth? Heaven kicked me out and hell is afraid I'll take over

-Hello and welcome to the Mental Health Hot-line. If you are obsessive compulsive, press 1 repeatedly. If you are co-dependent ask someone to press 2 for you. If you have multiple personalities press 3, 4, 5, 6. If you are paranoid, we know what you are and what you want so stay on the line and we'll trace yourcall. If you are delusional press 7 and your call will be sent to the Mother Ship. If you are schizophrenic listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press. If you are depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, no one will answer you. If you are dislexic press 6, 9, 6, 9, 6, 9. If you have a nervous disorder fidget with the hatch key until the beep. After the beep, please wait for the beep. If you have short term memory loss, please try your call again later and if you have low self esteem, hang up; all our operators are too busy to talk to you. BEEP!

-Of all the things I’ve lost, I miss my mind the most.

-Before you criticize some one, walk a mile in their shoes. That way you’re a mile away and you still have their shoes.

-An apple a day, keeps the doctor away, if well aimed.

-I am on a quest to the deepest, darkest corners of my room in search of what some would call "a floor" - a long and difficult task awaits me. Wish me luck my friends for I may not return alive. (this is so true for me :P)

-When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep-- not screaming, like the passengers in his car.

-Too often, we lose sight of life's simple pleasures. Remember, when someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles in your face to frown, BUT it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and freak slap that *insert harsh word here* upside the head.

-I called your boyfriend gay, and he hit me with his purse.

-A stranger stabs you in the front; a friend stabs you in the back; a boyfriend stabs you in the heart, but best friends only poke each other with straws. Probies headslap each other!

-You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.

-Who ever said nothing is impossible, never tried to slam a revolving door.

-What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

-We could all take a lesson from crayons: some are sharp, some are beautiful, some have weird names, all are different colors, but they still learn to live in the same box. (but what if there fighting and kicking each other out when wee not looking o.o scary.)

-I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.

-You laugh because I'm different. I laugh because you're all the same.

-A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

-Love your enemies! It really pisses them off.

-Shut up voices! Or I'll poke you with a Q-tip again!

-Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.

-Friend's will always be like “well you deserve better” but best friends will be prank calling him saying “you will die in seven days”

-EMO kids have cool hair.

-If your name is Mr. Crunch, and you joined the Navy, would you eventually be Captain Crunch?

-364 days of the year, parents tell their kids not to take candy from strangers, yet on Halloween, its encouraged! Why is that?


The Stupidest Things On Products

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." Oops.

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." Noo!!! It will be cold!!

On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (But wouldn't this save me more time?)

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." Rip off

On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." Space counts right?

On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (I gotta admit, I'm curious.)--same the the person that I C&P from

On Sainsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." NO WAY!

On artificial bacon: "Real artificial bacon bits". (Fake pig!? You sick company!)

On a Myer hairdryer:"Do not use while sleeping." (hmm...)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:"Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."(Wow. That's really helpful)

On a child's superman costume:"Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly". (Dream killers!)

On a Swedish chainsaw:"Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands". (To late.)

On a package of pasta after the cooking instructions:"Put on fork and eat." (No! Really? We're supposed to eat food?!)

On a bar of Palmolive soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (And that would be how??)

On some frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (But, it's just a suggestion).

I could put more... eh.

Thanks for looking in here!

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Wake Up Call reviews
If this is going to happen every time Miley sleeps in past Lilly, she's going to have to do it more often. WARNING: LEMONS/FEMSLASH! to save time: DON'T READ LAST 3 CHAPTERS!
Hannah Montana - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 6 - Words: 3,354 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 18 - Updated: 3/30/2013 - Published: 9/23/2012 - Hannah M./Miley S., Lilly T./Lola L. - Complete
Detention reviews
Miley and Lily get stuck in detention. A cute little oneshot that's a little AU. Miley/Lily. LEMONS!
Hannah Montana - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,501 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 4 - Published: 2/18/2013 - Lilly T./Lola L., Hannah M./Miley S. - Complete
5,6,7,8 reviews
Rosie Garcia is a new student attending the Dance Academy. Will she make it through her first year? Our will some of our old friends have to help her along the way? Read & review! Rated T to be safe.
Dance Academy - Rated: T - English - Drama/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 416 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Published: 8/8/2012
Birds of a Feather
Just a collection of random stories and poems related to birds. Yeah, yeah, sounds boring, I know. But check it out!
Misc. Books - Rated: K - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 32 - Published: 6/11/2012
a remix of Magyk reviews
This is a little bit like the book Magyk by Anbie Sage, but has a few different characters and is MUCH shorter
Book X-overs - Rated: K+ - English - Mystery/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,798 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Published: 5/20/2012 - Serena, Harry P.