Author has written 1 story for Harry Potter.
Hey, I'm Annie.
I love fanfiction (obviously) and have attempted one, tiny fanfic. I have so many more ideas, but that's all they are and are going to be for a while at least.
If guns kill people, I should be able to blame mispellings on my pencil."
What idiot put the 's' in lisp?
Why is abbreviated such a long word?
Why do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections?
If a cow laughs hard, does milk come out of its nose?
Who was the first person who looked at a cow and say "I think I will squeeze those dangly things here and drink what comes out"?
All the good ones are either gay, married, or fictional characters in books or movies.
Having the love of your life say "we can still be friends", is like having your dog die and your mom saying you can still keep it.
The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on
Whoever said nothing is impossible never tried slamming a revolving door.
The greatest challenge in life is to find someone who knows all your flaws, differences, and mistakes, and yet still sees the best in you.
I smile because I have no idea what’s going on.
They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people.
I couldn't fix your brakes so I made your horn louder
Knowledge is power.
"Tell a man there are 300 billion stars in the Universe and he'll believe you. Tell him a chair has wet paint on it, and he'll have to touch it to be sure."
"Logic is a systematic method of coming to the wrong conclusion with confidence."
"You cry, I cry. You laugh, I laugh. You fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder."
The diference between humor and tragedy is that humor is when it happens to someone else."
"Who ever said that words don't hurt never got hit by a dictionary."
Don't let your mind wander, Its too little to be let out alone.
"The real trouble with reality is that there's no background music. "
"War doesn't determine who's right. War determines who's left. "
We live in an age when pizza gets to your home before the police.
Anyone who says "Easy as taking candy from a baby" has never tried it.
Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.
A repair shop: We can repair anything. (Please knock hard on the door - the bell doesn't work)
An apple a day keeps the doctor away... if you throw it hard enough.
"Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway."
"Out of all the things I've lost...I miss my mind the most"
"I am currently out of my mind. If I am not back in 5 minutes please send a search party to find me."
"When a single person suffers from a delusion, its called a mental disorder, but when its suffered by many, many people, it's called religion"-?
I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no
Never knock on Death's door... ring the bell and run away... he hates that.
Everyone rises to their level of incompetence.
Someone's boring me. I think it's me.
Sorry I couldn't make it to church--I was busy practicing witchcraft.
Your face is like the sun--not because it is beautiful, but because I can only look at it for a minute.
Warning: Trespassers will be shot
It's tourist season, so why can't I shoot them?
You say you dislike me, but deep down, you know you hate me.
That which doesn't kill you...will probably try again.
I'm not tense. I'm just terribly, terribly alert.
God did not create men and women equal...don't worry; give him time, and he'll evolve.
If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
This is not something to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown, with great force.
He's not dead; he's electroencephalographically challenged.
For sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.
Always remember you're unique...just like everyone else.
If you don't like my driving then stay off the sidewalk!
I like work. It fascinates me. I could sit and look at it forever.
The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.
Don’t play dumb with me, I'll always win.
If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is NOT for you.
There are two ways to argue with a woman. Neither one works.
I refuse to engage in an intellectual battle with an unarmed man.
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
Join The Army, Visit exotic places, meet strange people, then kill them.
Any book worth banning is a book worth reading.
Christianity: The belief that some Cosmic Jewish Zombie will make you live forever if you symbolically eat his flesh and telepathically tell him that you accept him as your master, so that he can remove an evil from your soul that is present in humanity because a rib-woman was convinced by a talking snake to eat from a magical tree. Makes perfect sense.
People who don't like their beliefs being laughed at shouldn't have such funny belief
Freya, goddess of Love and War: If you can't lay 'em, slay 'em!
Mothers of teens know why some animals eat their young.
Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said.
Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up.
Insanity is hereditary. You get it from your kids.
Children are natural mimics who act like their parents, despite every effort to teach them good manners.
"There is only one pretty child in the world... and every mother has it." - Chinese Proverb.
One bright day in the middle of the night,
Two dead boys got up to fight.
Back to back they faced each other,
Drew their swords and shot each other.
A deaf policeman heard the noise
And ran to save the two dead boys.
And if you don't believe it's true,
Go ask the blind man, he saw it too.
Unsafe External Link