KamikazePenguin69
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Joined 05-22-12, id: 4016757, Profile Updated: 04-18-13
Author has written 13 stories for Legend of Zelda, Pokémon, and Star Wars.

Hello everyone, I'm here...now what the hell do you want? I used to have a different profile, but I can't sign in as killeralchemist anymore. Oh well, I like my new name better. And I'm probably never going to paste up a profile pic, so deal with it.

If you like Insanity (with a capital I) please join me on xxxAceBlade's Evil Empire in the pokemon forums section. We have cookies...

Facts about me:

Nerd (no duh!)

Martial Artist (Hell Yeah!! FTW!)

Athiest-kinda uncertain on this one...

Favorites

Manga:

Fullmetal Alchemist

D-Grayman

Elfin Lied

Games

Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess

Pokemon

Super Smash bros

TV Shows

Battlestar Gallactica

Stargate Atlantis

Movies

The Dark Knight

Rat Race

What about Bob?

My stories:

Legend of Zelda:

Shield Prices: From Twilight princess. Link, the new Captain of Guard, can't believe the prices in Hyrule.

Snapshots: I'm actually gonna finish this fic!!!!!! All hail me!

Pokemon:

Legacy of Mewtwo-Just to be clear, I'm resurrecting this one from my old profile.

1000 Themes from the Pokemon Games

I will be getting these stories up within the next few weeks.

Chuck Norris jokes to brighten your day:

Chuck Norris can unscramble an egg.

Chuck Norris can play Russion Roulette with a fully loaded gun...and win.

Chuck Norris is the only man to ever beat a brick wall in a game of tennis.

Chuck Norris's daughter lost her virginity. He went and got it back.

They tried to make a movie called "Alien vs. Predator vis. Chuck Norris", but it was cancelled because no one wants to pay ten bucks to see a five second fight scene.

If you hate reposting stuff, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have ever just wanted to HIT someone, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you would be a shitty gay stripper, copy and paste this onto your profile.

Me: Look, I'm growing facial hair.

Brett: Holy crap, that's how I look an hour after I shave.

Me: Its been three months since I shaved...

I will be attempting the 100 Theme challenge. No promises.

1. Introduction 2. Dream 3. Reflection 4. Dark
5. Pure 6. Alone 7. Spread your wings 8. Alive
9. Almost 10. Breathe Again 11. Blood 12. Moon
13. Lucky 14. Smile 15. Rose 16. Laugh
17. Fear 18. Tainted 19. Angel 20. Power
21. Vacation 22. Protect 23. Cat 24. No Time
25. I know 26. Warmth 27. Mistletoe 28. Never
29. Say Please 30. Under the Rain 31. Normal 32. Distant
33. Animal 34. Stars 35. Free 36. Precious Treasure
37. Eyes 38. Abandoned 39. Simple 40. Promise
41. Impossible 42. Destiny 43. Love 44. Two Roads
45. Comatose 46. Family 47. Cry 48. Childhood
49. Short and Sweet 50. Breaking the Rules 51. Princess 52. Robot
53. Scar 54. Snow 55. Waiting 56. Fire
57. Friend 58. Oasis 59. No Way Out 60. Future
61. Butterfly 62. Valentine 63. Kiss 64. Crystal
65. Magnet 66. Temptation 67. Playing the Melody 68. Hero
69. Annoyance 70. 67% 71. Obsession 72. Mischief Managed
73. I Can't 74. Secret 75. Runaway 76. Broken Pieces
77. Test 78. Drink 79. Gone 80. Feather
81. Pen and Paper 82. Goodbye 83. Heal 84. Memory
85. Imagination 86. Parents 87. Battlefield 88. Pain
89. Sapphire 90. Triangle 91. Dawn 92. Shield
93. Black 94. Clear 95. Advertisement 96. Chain
97. Ash 98. Stick Together 99. Victory 100. Relaxation

Take this challenge and include three of these in your newest story!

1) Include a school dance, a near death experience, and a game of bingo all in one chapter. 2)Form an unlikely romance between two characters. 3)Keep the characters up all night long--see what happens. 4)Include two llamas named Zap and Zoom 5)Start a chapter with the sentence: "Fear has a funny way of ruining everything" 6)Include three things people wrote to you from an old yearbook 7)Erase the main character's memory. 8)Make the main character have a bad hair day. Bonus if it changes his/her life. 9)Have someone get kidnapped. 10)Flashback to the main protagonist's first memory. 11)Writ1/e a scene that involves: a dangerous ex-convict, organic farm, and a dog named Zerela 12)Write a scene in a fun house involving a three headed puppy and a phony watch salesman 13)End the story with: "Then they all ate hotdogs with grape jelly, and lived happily ever after." 14)Desert characters on an island with a beach ball, a set of magic markers, and a can of beans. 15)Make your characters unable to talk for a whole chapter 16)Start a chapter with: "Everything changed on that fateful day." 17)Start a chapter with the last lyric of a song. 18)Make the main character wear a wig for an entire chapter 19)Have a character's meal talk to him or her in your next scene. 20)Write an entire chapter in which your main character and villain get along with each other. 21)Add a figure skater, a misunderstanding, a mummy, a starfish, and an evil Frisbee to the next chapter. 22)Make your main character obsessed with a different dance move in each of your chapters. 23)Include a country song in your next scene about a sad rodeo clown, a lost cat, and a kazoo. 24)Include an evil calculator, a car salesman, and a dance party in the next page of your novel. 25)Put a "Kick me" note on your villain's back, and have him or her wear it for an entire chapter.

1. Make sure chapters are longer than 800 words. A good rule of thumb is a thousand words per chapter.

2. Make character sketches beforehand. You can post them up on the story if you want to, but they're mostly for helping you develop a good character.

3. Hit enter twice at the end of every paragraph. The fanfiction format doesn't recognize tabs, so it will all look like a wall of text to your readers if you don't hit enter twice.

4. Don't force a writing style that you aren't comfortable with. If you write well in first person, write in first person. If you're a humorous writer, don't try write something really dark.

5. Don't trust your reviewers. I swear every reader on this site is brainwashed to tell you that your story rocks. Look for reviewers who tell you what could be made better, and carefully consider their advice. 6. Don't be racist in humor. This site is very diverse. Similarly, stay away from political agendas. 7. Stick to your rating. The easiest rating to use is T. It gives you enough leeway to cuss and kill off characters, but it doesn't scare off younger readers like an M rating would. The rules for K and K are really strict: No blood, no death, no language, and no sex. People will call you out if you rate your story too low.

8. Author's notes are good in humor writing, but bad if you have a serious story going. And they are never good in the middle of a chapter. Keep them in the beginning and end of chapter portions and put them in bold with A/N before them.

9. Don't hold your story for ransom. Demanding reviews is good; but threatening to end your story if you don't get any is pointless. 10. Stick to a consistent upload schedule. One chapter a week is good; any less and your readers will lose interest.

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Kalos : A Senseless Self Insert Story by longherin reviews
What happens when you fall face-first into an established world with its own rules, laws, history, expectations, and reality? Well...a slice of life fic focusing on people you will never meet or meet again happens. Enjoy the ride, it's pretty slow. Features two total side characters from Kalos you will never remember seeing (well, except one of them).
Pokémon - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 32 - Words: 170,577 - Reviews: 86 - Favs: 108 - Follows: 158 - Updated: 6/7 - Published: 11/6/2013 - Eevee/Eievui, OC
Legend of Zelda: Game Thoughts by WolfsLegend reviews
You pop in a Legend of Zelda game and pick up your controller, intent to step in a hero's dusty old shoes once more. Have you ever happened to think of these random thoughts while playing before?
Legend of Zelda - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 14 - Words: 26,335 - Reviews: 38 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 16 - Updated: 6/10/2015 - Published: 1/4/2010
The Sciencing of the Science by geckobubbles reviews
Things occur, and that leads to stuff happening. This is a crackfic by the way. It contains stuff, like profanity and weird intentional out of characterness.
Portal - Rated: M - English - Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,049 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 1 - Published: 5/1/2014 - Wheatley, Space Core, Adventure Core, Fact Core - Complete
Miracle of Life by killer miller reviews
A girl raised with unusual powers is rescued and raised by the Ketchum family. She then sets out on her journey. Yuri, violence death Please review, i know its rough but i wanted to try.
Pokémon - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 107 - Words: 205,430 - Reviews: 70 - Favs: 79 - Follows: 71 - Updated: 10/19/2013 - Published: 6/24/2012 - Complete
El Frío by Kazias reviews
When reports have been shown that the Legendary winged Mirage known as Articuno, has been lurking around the equally legendary place known as Mount Silver, Falkner couldn't resist checking it out. But of course, if anybody knew a thing or two about Murphy's Law, it's definitely going to strike... His travels are about to fly out of the oven, and into the Sheer Cold.
Pokémon - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Mystery - Chapters: 8 - Words: 18,229 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 9/15/2013 - Published: 7/10/2013 - Falkner/Hayato, Pidgeotto/Pigeon
I See Red by Kazias reviews
We've always wished video game characters could come to life, right? We'd imagine it all the time. Only we tend to not think about the troubles it may cause... Especially for our very silly hero of the story, who's about to meet a legendary Trainer in the flesh...
Pokémon - Rated: T - English - Mystery/Suspense - Chapters: 6 - Words: 10,109 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 1 - Published: 7/6/2013 - Red - Complete
One Night in Sanctuary by SnowSphinx reviews
The stars sure are pretty despite the thick haze that surrounds the flying city of sanctuary. AxtonXMaya
Borderlands - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,237 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 45 - Follows: 11 - Published: 3/18/2013 - Axton, Maya - Complete
Voracious by SE46 Mantis reviews
Three weeks is far too long a time to wait, far too long to go without indulging. Elesa x Skyla, PWP.
Pokémon - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,078 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 24 - Follows: 3 - Published: 3/4/2013 - Elesa/Kamitsure, Skyla/Fuuro - Complete
A Drapple Story by Secret Agent Awesome reviews
There aren't enough Drapple fanfics out there, so I thought I'd make one! Super short oneshot. Sort of... Contains lemon... sort of. 0.e DracoxApple Please R&R!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 639 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 12/26/2012 - Published: 8/5/2012 - Draco M. - Complete
Captivating by SE46 Mantis reviews
In that a trip to the beach turns out to be very quite exciting. Airplaneshipping, rated M for sexual content/occasional swear.
Pokémon - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,919 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 32 - Follows: 7 - Published: 12/24/2012 - Elesa/Kamitsure, Skyla/Fuuro - Complete
Devil's Touch by Angel Cry13 reviews
If Katara cannot have Zuko, Azula will give her the next best thing. If she likes it or not. My first sex story with Azula x Katara. I hope you will like it.
Avatar: Last Airbender - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 2 - Words: 6,330 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 89 - Follows: 31 - Updated: 12/1/2012 - Published: 10/15/2010 - Azula, Katara - Complete
Last Stop by Nidoran Duran reviews
On a crowded morning train, Elesa and the Subway Masters indulge.
Pokémon - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,063 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 25 - Follows: 6 - Published: 11/16/2012 - Elesa/Kamitsure, Ingo, Emmet - Complete
Teapot by sirensbane reviews
Hughes challenges Mustang to a sparring match...with interesting results.
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: K - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 864 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 1 - Published: 8/1/2012 - Maes H., Roy M. - Complete
Swimming Lessons by Nidoran Duran reviews
Misty tries to get Flannery into the pool, and things heat up in the cold water.
Pokémon - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,757 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 54 - Follows: 14 - Published: 7/24/2012 - Misty/Kasumi, Flannery/Asuna - Complete
Link's, uhh, Awakening by Jadely reviews
Or, 'Excuuuse me, princess.' A not-so-silent Link shows up at the castle, believing it his duty to guard the 'triforce of wisdom.' However, his mysterious change of character causes far more trouble than good. What's Zelda to do with a hero that won't shut up unless he's puckered up? Will Link ever return to normal? Based off the cartoon series, post TP.
Legend of Zelda - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 6 - Words: 17,932 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 7/20/2012 - Published: 6/14/2012 - Link, Zelda - Complete
Live No Evil by Lady Of The Semicolons reviews
Just as things start going Ganondorf's way, something very odd happens...
Legend of Zelda - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,799 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 1 - Published: 7/10/2012 - Ganondorf - Complete
Accursed Gym by FortuneDP reviews
Whitney just wanted to see Morty; she did not want to have to deal with his troublesome Gym.
Pokémon - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,223 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 13 - Published: 6/19/2012 - Morty/Matsuba, Whitney/Akane - Complete
The Berry Glitch by InfinityFeather reviews
A Creepypasta based on the Berry Glitch from the Ruby and Sapphire versions. Contains character death.
Pokémon - Rated: K+ - English - Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 616 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 2 - Published: 6/18/2012 - May/Haruka - Complete
Boredom by IfritDemon666 reviews
Link is exhausted and visits the castle. What happens after a 48 hour nap? Crack-fic. You may not like it but I sure as heck can enjoy it! XD
Legend of Zelda - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 775 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 2 - Published: 6/3/2012 - Link, Zelda - Complete
The Master Sword's Hidden Button by Roxius reviews
Link discovers that the yellow jewel on the Master Sword is actually some kind of button, but when he presses it, it not only changes the sword itself, but the spirit residing inside as well. And not for the better. Expansion.
Legend of Zelda - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,268 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 5 - Published: 3/27/2012 - Link, Fi - Complete
Flowers for Fi by Shadsie reviews
Scrapper will always be there for Fi - through the ages and through the Timelines.
Legend of Zelda - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,449 - Reviews: 26 - Favs: 116 - Follows: 15 - Published: 3/18/2012 - LD-301S Scrapper, Fi - Complete
Deaf to the World by EvaXephon reviews
Fi is obligated to provide assistance to Link in every possible way. What happens when Link becomes sexually frustrated?
Legend of Zelda - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,035 - Reviews: 42 - Favs: 142 - Follows: 42 - Published: 11/26/2011 - Link, Fi - Complete
Pedestal by Digital Skitty reviews
For some people, training isn't easy. For some people, training is beyond easy. Unfortunately, for me, training is beyond hard. Double weaknesses, attacked by wild Pokemon, mistrust of trainers, and much more. I just CAN'T catch a break, can I?
Pokémon - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Drama - Chapters: 160 - Words: 545,006 - Reviews: 3831 - Favs: 2,234 - Follows: 857 - Updated: 10/3/2011 - Published: 2/17/2009 - OC - Complete
The Replacement Hero by RoyXFirestormXBlaze reviews
Link catches Wanker's cramp, so the fairies must find a hero, as it is Friday, and Zelda is due to be kidnapped by Ganon soon. Very. Very. Crack.
Crossover - Legend of Zelda & Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: M - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 932 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 2 - Published: 6/16/2011 - Navi, Edward E.
Link's Got A Gun by FanNotANerd reviews
The title says it all. Somehow, Link brings guns to Hyrule. Be afraid. Be very afraid. Very random oneshot. Rated T for rather coarse language.
Legend of Zelda - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,234 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 1 - Published: 11/14/2010 - Link, Zant - Complete
The REAL legend of Zelda by Foofmeister reviews
This is what REALLY goes on. Major crack-fic!
Legend of Zelda - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 3 - Words: 3,064 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 5/27/2010 - Published: 7/4/2007
How Scar Stole Christmas by Hyperthia reviews
Well, he doesn't exactly steal it, so to speak. Rather, he just blows everything up... *shrugs* Complete and utter CRACK. Do not take seriously. Rated for Language.
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,567 - Reviews: 33 - Favs: 59 - Follows: 2 - Published: 12/24/2009 - Scar - Complete
Oh, Did You Have a Sob Story Too, Sasuke? by Sarah1281 reviews
Naruto is hurt that Sasuke didn't tell him about Itachi...or did he? Sasuke insists he talks about it all the time but Naruto hears too many sob stories to keep them all straight, Itachi tries to catch up with Sasuke and Kisame just wants to kill someone.
Naruto - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,247 - Reviews: 282 - Favs: 1,756 - Follows: 281 - Published: 10/1/2009 - Naruto U., Sasuke U. - Complete
Hit and Run by Loveon reviews
In which Professor Birch hits someone with his jeep, suggests hit and run, refuses to say his child's name, and won't stop trying to jump into his jeep. Crack-fic.
Pokémon - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 792 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 4 - Published: 7/19/2009 - Prof. Birch/Prof. Odamaki, Brendan/Yūki - Complete
In A Little Chamber by Aquarius Galuxy reviews
[Vignette] A little rendezvous in an indoor pool should not be interrupted. But what is a team captain to know? RayMariah lime
Beyblade - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,594 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 2 - Published: 10/6/2006 - Ray/Rei K., Mariah/Mao C. - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Hero's Downfall reviews
The hero had always been there to save the day. What happens when the hero needs to be saved? Co-op fic with IfritDemon666
Legend of Zelda - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Fantasy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,141 - Reviews: 2 - Follows: 2 - Published: 2/21/2014
Cards Against Hyrule reviews
What happens when Zelda is really bored? Well, a very short crack fic, that's what.
Legend of Zelda - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 167 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 2 - Published: 2/19/2014 - Zelda - Complete
Legacy of Mewtwo reviews
Reposted from my old profile. A very different view on how mewtwo's story went. Inspired by the movie.
Pokémon - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 4 - Words: 4,057 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 9/4/2013 - Published: 8/31/2013 - Brendan/Yūki, Mewtwo
Where's My Ship reviews
A repost from my old account. Darth Vader visits the hardware store and chaos ensues.
Star Wars - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 288 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 8/31/2013 - Complete
LoZ Snapshots reviews
A collection of random thoughts from Twilight Princess. Includes an extremely long and random author's note at the end. Warning: This stupidity is not for the faint of heart.
Legend of Zelda - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 4 - Words: 4,703 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 15 - Updated: 7/1/2013 - Published: 6/5/2012 - Link, Midna
Common Ground reviews
A late night meeting in the back-room of Telma's bar. Walls are lowered, hopes are raised. Who knows what the end result will be? LinkXAshei. Lemon.
Legend of Zelda - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,456 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 47 - Follows: 21 - Published: 7/6/2012 - Ashei, Link - Complete
Mile High reviews
Lemon; Coliseumshipping; Occurs right after the final fight in Coliseum. Rui pulls Wes to a side room to destress from the events of the previous days.
Pokémon - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,808 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 28 - Follows: 2 - Published: 6/19/2012 - Rui/Mirei, Wes/Leo - Complete
Team Rocket's Declaration reviews
Just a short poem I wrote. Team Rocket is getting very tired of this endless vicious circle.
Pokémon - Rated: T - English - Poetry/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 154 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Published: 6/19/2012 - James/Kojirō, Jessie/Musashi
Gale of Laughter reviews
Orre is under threat again from an incompetent mafia, and its only hope rests in the hands of an equally incompetent child. Join Michael as he valiently attempts to rescue Orre's pokemon from having Pac-man machines implanted in their hearts. VERY OOC. Loosely follows XD Gale of Darkness plotline.
Pokémon - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 3,315 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 6/19/2012 - Published: 6/15/2012 - Michael/Ryūto, Verich/Greevil/Deathgold
A Short Road to Insanity reviews
Why did Zant turn traitor on the Twilight Realm? Finally, Zant's backstory is revealed, and the envy of the younger brother is revealed... Does not hold religiously to the facts presented in Twilight Princess
Legend of Zelda - Rated: T - English - Fantasy/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,404 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 2 - Published: 6/15/2012 - Zant, Midna
Ganon's Dilemma reviews
His fate is to repeatedly kidnap the princess, and he's getting VERY tired of this little green twerp constantly messing with his plans. Not really set in any specific universe. Rated T because I might put some cursing in.
Legend of Zelda - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,296 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 3 - Published: 6/5/2012 - Ganondorf, Link
Pokeshots reviews
Random, humorous parodies from the pokemon world. I'm not really sure, but I MAY have posted this under killeralchemist747. Somewhat of a crack-fic featuring OOC characters. First, Arceus creates the world. May include excessively long, but funny, authors notes.
Pokémon - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 606 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 1 - Published: 6/4/2012 - Giratina, Arceus
Shield Prices reviews
Link, the new captain of guard, has a problem with the prices. One-shot, kinda pointless. Just me raging on about the prices in Twilight princess. T for some cursing.
Legend of Zelda - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 581 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 6 - Published: 5/29/2012 - Link - Complete
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