Author has written 11 stories for Penguins of Madagascar, Percy Jackson and the Olympians, Winnie-the-Pooh, Over the Hedge, Doctor Who, Eddsworld, and Captain EO.
What to know about me:
Name: Not telling, but call me Maddy. Or Panda. Mainly Panda.
Age: Somewhere aged between 10 and 60.
Location: Somewhere in a little country/continent/island named Australia. Occasionally NZ too.
About me: Asexual DemiHeteromantic.
Favourite Artists: It's literally pretty much all over the place.
IMPORTANT NOTICE: Due to loss of inspiration, I won't continue my PoM stories or ToD until something sparks up again. They will have to be on Hiatus until something comes up again. I will continue them, I'm just stuck. However, new inspiration is on my brain, so I'll still be writing, but not the ones you're used to. But stay tuned! ;) However, Suemageddon won't be on such a Hiatus, as long I can get some peeps who own some of the OC's in the story to help. But it'll be in a hiatus until then.
EDIT: I think it's safe to say that those stories should be discontinued. I literally have nothing for them any more - I need to bury the past and let it stay buried. Feel free to take it up from me if you want - just PM me for permission.
I'm actually uploading a story and going to be updating it regularly (for once), and you can also find it on tumblr and deviantArt! Keep an eye out for Fridays (whatever time it is on AEST), because that is the day I update!
EDIT: Eagle's Cross is on hiatus as I rewrite the story. I'd still like feedback from the old one though, so I know what to fix and make better!
Important Things I Learned From Rick Riordan
Even cat goddesses like growling at birds.
Underwater kisses are way better than normal ones.
The five elements are earth, air, fire, water, and cheese.
Children of rival gods can fall in love.
No one really knows why the Egyptians wrote without vowels.
Nemean lions can be defeated with freeze dried ice cream.
Eating fruit bats is bad for your health.
Contrary to popular belief, hellhounds can be domesticated.
The Set animal does not appreciate being named Leroy.
Yes, that twelve year old wearing a silver jacket is a goddess.
Jackal headed gods can be very attractive.
Math teachers really are evil. (SO TRUE! DDD:)
Set's secret name is Evil Day. (Use this to your advantage...)
It's not easy to insult a daughter of Athena.
Elvis was a magician. No, really.
Do not trust the bald man who wants to sell you a water bed.
Boomerangs can cast spells.
It's possible to gamble moonlight.
Even the ferryman of the dead wants a pay raise.
Rainbows have power.
Fruit bats can be deadly.
If you hear a voice in your head, you're not crazy - you just have an über-powerful god living inside you.
Demons will give you free samples if you ask nicely.
Even plants can wage war.
It's not safe to leave a possessed hispanic alone in a warship.
If anything has been stolen immediately blame Hermes or the Stolls
You can use bubble wrap and wood sticks as a splint.
Even the Roman god of wine wants to turn Percy into a dolphin.
With great power, comes a great need to take a nap.
The thousand-year-old girl does not know what it means to look for the dam snack bar
DON'T piss off a nymph or there will be worms and dirt in your bed
Three kids can "drown" in a REALLY big bathtub.
Don't blow your nose while someone's being chased by evil skeletons.
Fafaels are good. Don't even question it.
I really don't seem to care about Justin Bieber any more. I'm just 10,000% over and done with him.
Really Dumb Store labels:
On a Myers hairdryer:
On a bag of
On a bar of Palmolive soap:
On some frozen dinners:
On Nanna's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom):
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
On packaging for a K-Mart iron:
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:
On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (One would hope.)
On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (As opposed to using it in space.)
On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (I gotta admit, I'm curious.)
On a Swedish chainsaw: Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands. (Raise your hand if you've tried this.)
On Sainsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (But it doesn't contain peas?)
On a package of pasta after the cooking instructions: "Put on fork and eat." (No! Really? We're supposed to eat food?!)
On artificial bacon: "Real artificial bacon bits". (So we don't get fake fake bacon. Oh no we get real fake bacon.)
On an American Airlines bag of peanuts: Instructions: Open bag, eat nuts. (gee, somebody must've been paid big bucks to do this one...)
On a child's superman costume:
On a cartilage for a laser printer:
On a carpenter's electric drill:
I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear it up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you!!! IF THIS MADE YOU LAUGH COPY AND PASTE IT ON YOUR PROFILE.
Kids Are Quick
TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America .
MARIA: Here it is.
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?
TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.
TEACHER: Glen, how do you spell 'crocodile?'
TEACHER: No, that's wrong.
GLEN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.
TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with ' I. '
MILLIE: I is..
TEACHER: No, Millie... Always say, 'I am.'
MILLIE: All right... 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'
TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand. (I wouldn't either!)
TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
CLYDE : No, sir. It's the same dog.
TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher.
(WOW HAROLD YOU HAD YOUR SASSY PANTS ON TODAY
FOUR FOR YOU HAROLD
YOU GO HAROLD)
Things that are in bold apply to me
YOUR GUY SIDE:
(x) You love hoodies
(x) You love jeans
(x) Dogs are better than cats
(x) It's hilarious when people get hurt (After I ask if they are ok)
(x) You've played with/against boys on a team.
(x) Shopping is torture.
(x) Sad movies suck
(x) You own/ed an X-Box.
(x) Played with Hotwheel cars as a kid
(x) At some point in time you wanted to be a firefighter.
(x) You own/ed a DS, PS2 or Sega.
(x) You used to be obsessed with Power Rangers
(x) You watch sports on TV
(x) Gory movies are cool
(x) You go to your dad for advice
(x) You own like a trillion baseball caps.
(x) You like going to high school football games.
(x) You used to/do collect football/baseball cards.
(x) Baggy pants are cool to wear
(x) It's kinda weird to have sleepovers with a bunch of people.
(x) Green, black, red, blue, or silver are one of your favorite colors
(x) You love to go crazy and not care what people think
(x) Sports are fun
(x) Talk with food in your mouth.
(x) Sleep with your socks on at night
YOUR GIRL SIDE:
(x) Cats are better than dogs.
(x) You wear lip gloss/chapstick. (Shut up my lips dry a lot on me)
(x) You love to shop
(x) You wear eyeliner.
(x) You wear the color pink.
(x) Go to your mom for advice.
(x) You consider cheerleading a sport.
(x) You hate wearing the color black
(x) You like hanging out at the mall.
(x) You like getting manicures and/or pedicures.
(x) You like wearing jewelry (Eh.)
(x) Skirts are a big part of your wardrobe.
(x) Shopping is one of your favorite hobbies.
(x) You don't like the movie Star Wars.
(x) You were in gymnastics/dance.
(x) It takes you around/ more one hour to shower, get dressed, and make-up. (I don't wear make-up...)
(x) You smile a lot more than you should
(x) You have more than 10 pairs of shoes. (I blame my family)
(x) You care about what you look like.
(x) You like wearing dresses when you can. (When I'm in the mood)
(x) You like wearing body spray/perfume/cologne. (They make me nauseous)
(x) You love the movies.
(x) Used to play with dolls as little kid
(x) Like putting make-up on someone else for the joy/joke of it
(x) Like being the star of every thing
7 Ways to scare your roommates.
7) Buy some knives. Sharpen them every night. While you're doing so, look at your roommate and mutter, "Soon, soon..."
6) Collect hundreds of pens and pile them on one side of the room. Keep one pencil on the other side of the room. Laugh at the pencil.
5) Tell your roommate, "I've got an important message for you." Then pretend to faint. When you recover, say you can't remember what the message was. Later on, say, "Oh, yeah, I remember!" Pretend to faint again. Keep this up for several weeks.
4) While your roommate is out, glue your shoes to the ceiling. When your roommate walks in, sit on the floor, hold your head, and moan.
3) Make a sandwich. Don't eat it, leave it on the floor. Ignore the sandwich. Wait until your roommate gets rid of it, and then say, "Hey, where the heck is my sandwich?" Complain loudly that you're hungry.
2) Every time your roommate walks in yell, "Hooray! You're back!" as loud as you can and dance around the room for five minutes. Afterwards, keep looking at your watch and saying, "Shouldn't you be going somewhere?"
1) Talk back to your Rice Krispies. All of a sudden, act offended, throw the bowl on the floor and kick it. Refuse to clean it up, explaining, "No, I want to watch them suffer."
DORMITORY: When you rearrange the letters: DIRTY ROOM
ASTRONOMER: When you rearrange the letters: MOON STARER
DESPERATION: When you rearrange the letters: A ROPE ENDS IT
THE EYES: When you rearrange the letters: THEY SEE
GEORGE BUSH: When you rearrange the letters: HE BUGS GORE
THE MORSE CODE : When you rearrange the letters: HERE COME DOTS
SLOT MACHINES: When you rearrange the letters: CASH LOST IN ME
ANIMOSITY: When you rearrange the letters: IS NO AMITY
ELECTION - RESULTS: When you rearrange the letters: LIES - LET'S RECOUNT
SNOOZE ALARMS: When you rearrange the letters: ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S
A DECIMAL POINT: When you rearrange the letters: IM A DOT IN PLACE
THE EARTHQUAKES: When you rearrange the letters: THAT QUEER SHAKE
ELEVEN PLUS TWO: When you rearrange the letters: TWELVE PLUS ONE
My best friends are the kind that if my house were on fire, they'd be roasting marshmallows and flirting with the firemen. Oh, you think I'm kidding.
My friends are the kind of people that would spend hours trying to drown a fish... But I love them to death!
They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people.
Some see the glass half full, some see it half empty. Me? I just want to know who the heck is drinking my dang cola!!!
There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE, then it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile.
Officer, I swear to drunk, I'm not God!
You know it's gonna be a bad day when you fall out of bed and miss the floor.
I've got ADHD and Magic Markers. Oh the fun I will have!
I'm not paranoid... WHICH OF MY ENEMIES TOLD YOU THIS?!
The surest sign of Intelligent Life out there is that none of them has ever tried to contact us.
Why is it necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin?
I'm the kind of person who will burst out laughing in the middle of a dead silence because of something that happened yesterday.
You cry, I cry. You laugh, I laugh. You fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder.
Don't be surprised if a fat guy in a red suit stuffs you in a bag in the middle of the night because I asked for you for Christmas.
If you enjoy copying and pasting these copy and paste thingys, copy and paste this onto your profile.
YOUR REAL NAME: Panda. Shut up you're stuck with my internet name so there.
YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (fav color and fav animal) Blue Panda. (I don't have a fave animal tbh... Just going with the nickname.)
YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (your middle name and street you live on) Joy Cove (Not bad.)
YOUR STAR WARS NAME: (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters Of your first name) Bogkr (DaFudge?)
YOUR SUPERHERO NAME: (Your 2nd favorite color, and favorite drink) Green L&P (Sounds like a SU-fusion of me and Edd.)
YOUR GOTH NAME: (black, and the name of one of your pets) Black Max. (Max was a former pet rabbit my bro had before he escaped.)
YOUR WITNESS PROTECTION PROGRAM NAME: (both parents' middle names) Felicia Liviu (It's European, deal with it.)
YOUR PIRATE NAME: (random color and random pirate accessory) Orange Eyepatch.
Scroll down to the end of this paragraph,
Go for it!
Congratulations! Your wish will now come true in your age minutes.
Lend you their umbrella
Take yours and say 'RUN YOU IDIOT RUN!'
Never ask for anything to eat or drink.
Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.
Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandma, by Grandpa.
Call your parents DAD and MOM and GRAMS, GRAMPS!
Would bail you out of jail.
Would be sitting next to you saying "THAT WAS FRICKING AWESOME"
Have never seen you cry.
Won’t tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when you’re not down anymore.
Ask you to write down your number.
Have you on speed dial.
Only know a few things about you.
Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...
Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
Will kick the whole crowds butt that left you
Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.
Loses your crap and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."
Would knock on your front door.
Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."
You have to tell them not to tell anyone.
Already know not to tell.
Are only through school/college.
Are for life.
Will comfort you when the guy rejects you
Will go up to him and say "It's because you're gay isn't it?"
Will help you when you're lost
Will be giving you bad directions and screwing with your compass
Will go with you to a concert
Will be helping you kidnap the band
Will hide you from the cops
Are probably the reason they are after you
Will buy you a pregnancy test
Will be standing outside the bathroom door screaming, "Name it after me!"
Find your Prince Charming
Find him, kidnap him and then bring him to you
Will pick you up when you fall down
Will pick you up, then trip you again
Borrow your stuff for a few days then return it
Have had your stuff for so long they've forgotten it's yours
Will leave when they feel insulted
Will forgive you even if you don't know what you said wrong
Will ask you if you're okay when you're crying
Will cry with you and then go beat up the sorry loser who made you cry
Will offer you a soda
Will dump theirs on you
Will sit at the side of the pool with you when it's that time of the month
Will throw you a tampon and push you in
Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough
Will look at you stumbling all over the place and say, "Girl, drink the rest of that! You know we don't waste that kind of shit!"
Will be crying at your funeral
Will be sitting in jail for killing the guy who murdered you
Would ignore this letter
Will repost this crap!
WHAT TO DO IN AN EXAM YOU KNOW YOU'RE GOING TO FAIL ANYWAYS:
1. Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming "Andre, Andre, I've got the secret documents!!"
2. Talk the entire way through the exam. Read questions aloud, debate your answers with yourself out loud. If asked to stop, yell out, "I'm SOOO sure that you can hear me thinking." Then start talking about what a jerk the instructor is.
3. Bring a Game Boy. Play with the volume at max level.
4. On the answer sheet find a new, interesting way to refuse to answer every question. For example: I refuse to answer this question on the grounds that it conflicts with my religious beliefs. Be creative.
5. Run into the exam room looking about frantically. Breathe a sigh of relief. Go to the instructor, say "They've found me, I have to leave the country" and run off.
6. 15 min. into the exam, stand up, rip up all the papers into very small pieces, throw them into the air and yell out "Merry Christmas." If you're really daring, ask for another copy of the exam. Say you lost the first one. Repeat this process every 15 min.
7. Come into the exam wearing slippers, a bathrobe, a towel on your head, and nothing else.
8. Bring things to throw at the instructor when s/he's not looking. Blame it on the person nearest to you.
9. As soon as the instructor hands you the exam, eat it.
10. Every 5 min. stand up, collect all your things, move to another seat, continue with the exam.
11. Turn in the exam approx. 30 min. into it. As you walk out, start commenting on how easy it was.
12. Arrange a protest before the exam starts (i.e. Threaten the instructor that whether or not everyone's done, they are all leaving after one hour to go drink.)
13. Show up completely drunk (completely drunk means at some point during the exam, you should start crying for mommy).
14. Comment on how sexy the instructor is looking that day.
15. Come to the exam wearing a black cloak. After about 30 min, put on a white mask and start yelling "I'm here, the phantom of the opera" until they drag you away.
16. If the exam is math/sciences related, make up the longest proofs you could possible think of. Get pi and imaginary numbers into most equations. If it is a written exam, relate everything to your own life story.
17. Try to get people in the room to do a wave.
18. During the exam, take apart everything around you. Desks, chairs, anything you can reach.
19. Puke into your exam booklet. Hand it in. Leave.
20. Take 6 packages of rice cakes to the exam. Stuff at least 2 rice cakes into your mouth at once. Chew, then cough. Repeat if necessary.
21. Walk in, get the exam, sit down. About 5 min into it, loudly say to the instructor, "I don't understand ANY of this. I've been to every lecture all semester long! What's the deal? And who the hell are you? Where's the regular guy?"
22. Do the entire exam in another language. If you don't know one, make one up!
23. Bring a black marker. Return the exam with all questions and answers completely blacked out.
24. Every now and then, clap twice rapidly. If the instructor asks why, tell him/her in a very derogatory tone, "The light bulb that goes on above my head when I get an idea is hooked up to a clapper. DUH!"
25. From the moment the exam begins, hum the theme to Jeopardy. Ignore the instructor's requests for you to stop. When they finally get you to leave one way or another, begin whistling the theme to the Bridge on the River Kwai.
26. After you get the exam, call the instructor over, point to any question, ask for the answer. Try to work it out of him/her.
27. In the middle of the test, have a friend rush into the classroom, tag your hand, and resume taking your test for you. When the teacher asks what's going on, calmly explain the rules of Tag Team Testing to him/her.
28. Bring cheat sheets FOR ANOTHER CLASS (make sure this is obvious... like history notes for a calculus exam... otherwise you're not just failing, you're getting kicked out too) and staple them to the exam, with the comment "Please use the attached notes for references as you see fit."
29. Stand up after about 15 minutes, and say loudly, "Okay, let's double-check our answers! Number one, A. Number two, C. Number three, E..."
30. Wear a superman outfit under your normal clothes. 30 minutes into the exam, jump up and answer your phone, shouting "What? I'm on my way!!". rip off your outer clothes and run out of the room. Strike a pose first for added effect.
31. Tailgate outside the classroom before the exam.
32. Bring a giant cockroach into the room and release it on a girl nearby.
33. Complete the exam with everything you write being backwards at a 90 degree angle.
34. Bring one pencil with a very sharp point. Break the point off your paper. Sharpen the pencil. Repeat this process for one hour.
35. Make Strange noises... get people to stare... look at the person next to you as if he/she did it.
36. Dress like the professor.
37. Use Invisible Ink to answer the whole exam.
38. Order catering. The catering company should come in about halfway through the test, and should include at least three waiters, eight carts of food, and five candelabras.
If this made you crack up copy and paste!
THINGS YOU NEVER WANT TO HEAR WHILE UNDERGOING SURGERY:
1. "Better save that. We'll need it for the autopsy."
2. "Someone call the janitor - we're going to need a mop."
3. "Accept this sacrifice, O Great Lord of Darkness"
4. "Bo! Bo! Come back with that! Bad Dog!"
5. "Wait a minute, if this is his spleen, then what's that?"
6. "Hand me that...uh...that uh...thingy."
7. "Oh no! I just lost my Rolex."
8. "Oops! Hey, has anyone ever survived 500ml of this stuff before?"
9. "Damn, there go the lights again..."
10. "Ya know, there's big money in kidneys. Hell, the guy's got two of them."
11. "What do you mean you want a divorce?"
50 Ways To Mess With People In A Computer Lab
1. Log on, wait a sec, then get a frightened look on your face and scream "Oh my God! They've found me!" and bolt.
2. Laugh uncontrollably for about 3 minutes & then suddenly stop and look suspiciously at everyone who looks at you.
3. When your computer is turned off, complain to the monitor on duty that you can't get the damn thing to work. After he/she's turned it on, wait 5 minutes, turn it off again, & repeat the process for a good half hour.
4. Type frantically, often stopping to look at the person next to you evilly.
5. Before anyone else is in the lab, connect each computer to a different screen than the one it's set up with.
6. Write a program that plays the "Smurfs" theme song and play it at the highest volume possible over & over again.
7. Work normally for a while. Suddenly look amazingly startled by something on the screen and crawl underneath the desk.
8. Ask the person next to you if they know how to tap into top-secret Pentagon files.
9. Use Interactive Send to make passes at people you don't know.
10. Make a small ritual sacrifice to the computer before you turn it on.
11. Bring a chainsaw, but don't use it. If anyone asks why you have it, say "Just in case..." mysteriously.
12. Type on VAX for a while. Suddenly start cursing for 3 minutes at everything bad about your life. Then stop and continue typing.
13. Bring a Boombox and play Gangnam Style at top volume.
14. Light candles in a pentagram around your terminal before starting.
15. Ask around for a spare disk. Offer $2. Keep asking until someone agrees. Then, pull a disk out of your fly and say "Oops, I forgot."
16. Every time you press Return and there is processing time required, pray "Ohpleaseohpleaseohpleaseohplease," and scream "YES!" when it finishes.
17. "DISK FIGHT!!!"
18. Start making out with the person at the terminal next to you (It helps if you know them, but this is also a great way to make new friends).
19. Put a straw in your mouth and put your hands in your pockets. Type by hitting the keys with the straw.
20. If you're sitting in a swivel chair, spin around singing "The Lion Sleeps Tonight" whenever there is processing time required.
21. Draw a picture of a woman (or man) on a piece of paper, tape it to your monitor. Flirt with it.
22. Try to stick a Nintendo cartridge into the 3 disc drive, when it doesn't work, get the supervisor.
23. When you are on an IBM, and when you turn it on, ask loudly where the smiling Apple face is when you turn on one of those.
24. Print out the complete works of Shakespeare, then when it's all done (two days later) say that all you wanted was one line.
25. Sit and stare at the screen, biting your nails noisily. After doing this for a while, spit them out at the feet of the person next to you.
26. Stare at the screen, grind your teeth, stop, look at the person next to grinding. Repeat procedure, making sure you never provoke the person enough to let them blow up, as this releases tension, and it is far more effective to let them linger.
27. If you have long hair, take a typing break, look for split ends, cut them and deposit them on your neighbor's keyboard as you leave.
28. Put a large, gold-framed portrait of the British Royal Family on your desk and loudly proclaim that it inspires you.
29. Come to the lab wearing several layers of socks. Remove shoes and place them on top of the monitor. Remove socks layer by layer and drape them around the monitor. Exclaim sudden haiku about the aesthetic beauty of cotton on plastic.
30. Take the keyboard and sit under the computer. Type up your paper like this. Then go to the lab supervisor and complain about the bad working conditions.
31. Laugh hysterically, shout "You will all perish in flames!!!" and continue working.
32. Bring some dry ice & make it look like your computer is smoking.
33. Assign a musical note to every key (ie. the Delete key is A Flat, the B key is F sharp, etc.). Whenever you hit a key, hum it's note loudly. Write an entire paper this way.
34. Attempt to eat your computer's mouse.
35. Borrow someone else's keyboard by reaching over, saying "Excuse me, mind if I borrow this for a sec?", unplugging the keyboard & taking it.
36. Bring in a bunch of magnets and have fun.
37. When doing calculations, pull out an abacus and say that sometimes the old ways are best.
38. Play Pong for hours on the most powerful computer in the lab.
39. Make a loud noise of hitting the same key over and over again until you see that your neighbor is noticing (You can hit the space bar so your fill isn't affected). Then look at your neighbor's keyboard. Hit his/her delete key several times, erasing an entire word. While you do this, ask: "Does *your* delete key work?" Shake your head, and resume hitting the space bar on your keyboard. Keep doing this until you've deleted about a page of your neighbor's document. Then, suddenly exclaim: "Well, whaddya know? I've been hitting the space bar this whole time. No wonder it wasn't deleting! Ha!" Print out your document and leave.
40. Remove your disk from the drive and hide it. Go to the lab monitor and complain that your computer ate your disk. (For special effects, put some Elmer's Glue on or around the disk drive. Claim that the computer is drooling.)
41. Stare at the person's next to your's screen, look really puzzled, burst out laughing, and say "You did that?" loudly. Keep laughing, grab your stuff and leave, howling with laughter as you go.
42. Point at the screen. Chant in a made up language while making elaborate hand gestures for a minute or two. Press return or the mouse, then leap back and yell "TAKE COVEEEEERRRRRR!" peek up from under the table, walk back to the computer and say. "Oh, good. It worked this time," and calmly start to type again.
43. Keep looking at invisible bugs and trying to swat them.
44. See who's online. Send a total stranger a talk request. Talk to them like you've known them all your lives. Hang up before they get a chance to figure out you're a total stranger.
45. Bring a small tape player with a tape of really absurd sound effects. Pretend it's the computer and look really lost.
46. Pull out a pencil. Start writing on the screen. Complain that the lead doesn't work.
47. Come into the computer lab wearing several endangered species of flowers in your hair. Smile incessantly. Type a sentence, then laugh happily, exclaim "You're such a marvel!!", and kiss the screen. Repeat this after every sentence. As your ecstasy mounts, also hug the keyboard. Finally, hug your neighbor, then the computer assistant, and walk out.
48. Run into the computer lab, shout "Armageddon is here!!!!!", then calmly sit down and begin to type.
49. Quietly walk into the computer lab with a Black and Decker chainsaw, rev that baby up, and then walk up to the nearest person and say "Give me that computer or you'll be feeding my pet crocodile for the next week".
50. Two words: Tesla Coil.
How much am I worth?
Natural Hair Color:
[x] Brown - $100
Total so far: $175
Total so far: $250
Total so far: $350
Total so far: $450
Total so far: $1050
Total so far: $1450
Total so far: $1700
Favorite Colors (multiple):
Did you use a calculator to add it all up?
Final Total: $6675
According to this quiz, I am worth a lot.
But why do it? Because to someone out there who loves me, I am worth the entire Universe. No money can ever show off how much we are really worth. We are all worth so much, it's impossible to count it.
Six truths in life
1. You cannot stick your tongue out and look up at the ceiling at the same time: a physical impossibility
2. All idiots, after reading this will try it
3. And discover that it's a lie
4. You are smiling now because you are an idiot.
5. You will soon post this on your profile for another idiot to see.
6. There is still a stupid smile on your face.
This is this cat
This is is cat
This is how cat
This is to cat
This is keep cat
This is an cat
This is idiot cat
This is busy cat
This is for cat
This is forty cat
This is seconds cat
Now read the THIRD word of every line.
Copy and Paste this into your profile if you laughed at this and think it's quite smart.
I'm not really the sort of person who's that into MJ any more, but here, have an few old momentos of my 12-year-old past. Jeez, I was nuts about the guy... and to this day, I can make a pun out of every song he's got. Oh hey, some commentary on the thingy as well.
101 Ways to Tell if You are Obsessed With Michael Jackson (Not mine! Dx)
1. You write "Love" as L.O.V.E.
2. The term "Wacko Jacko" makes you cringe. (To this day. I practically get war flashbacks from it.)
3. You HATE most, if not ALL of the following: Martin Bashir, Conrad Murray, Diane Diamond, and Tom Sneddon. (Ah, reason #1 why I left the MJ fandom. The salt against these people. Some are dead, some have apologised, can you let a grudge go, guys?)
4. Neverland does not make you think of Peter Pan.
5. When someone says the names Evan or Gavin, you instinctively scream, "MICHAEL IS INNOCENT!!" (Please read the above bolded comment to apply to this way.)
6. You know who "They" are in the song "They Don't Really Care About Us"
7. Moonwalker is not just someone who can do the moonwalk...
8. You have used "Michael" not only as a noun, but also as a verb or adjective.
9. You have substituted OMJ for OMG before.
10. When someone talks to you about Prince, you have to ask "Which one?"
11. You can name all the Jackson siblings in order of birth.
12. Paris is not a city in France.
13. When you hear about "Gary, Indiana" you don't think of it as an industrial city outside of Chicago.
14. Things such as Mickey Mouse, the colour red, sequins, zombies, and friendship bracelets remind you of Michael.
15. You refer to him mainly as Michael, Mike, MJ, or Mikey. But rarely as his full name, Michael Jackson.
16. You know who the following people are and how they relate to Michael: Diana Ross, Lisa Marie Presley, Deborah Brazil, David Walgren, Edward Chernoff, Michael Flanagan, Elizabeth Taylor, Frank DiLeo, Debbie Rowe, and Macaullay Culkin. (Dishonour on me and my cow - I don't know every single one of those people and their relationship to Mike. I mean I know most, but there are just some unfamiliar names.)
17. Elvis is not who you think of when you hear "the king."
18. Gold pants make you smile.
19. You don't see anything wrong with a 9-year old being called Blanket.
20. You DO know his real name is NOT Blanket.
21. You often finish people's sentences with MJ song titles/quotes (i.e. "I just can't—" "STOP LOVING YOU!!") (I might do that a few times. Might earn me a few looks but it'll be worth it.)
22. You make Michael Jackson references that nobody else understands…
23. You Can't Help It if you make Bad/corny sentences using a Thriller amount of song titles by the Man in the Mirror. In fact, it's an Unbreakable habit you find yourself exposing On the Line often. (But hey, that's just Human Nature, right? ;) ) (THIS. THIS IS WHAT GOT ME MAKING ALL THE PUNS ABOUT THESE SONGS. BLESS THIS FACT.)
24. You don't just LISTEN to Michael Jackson, but you find yourself dressing and acting like him, and even STUDYING him. (Used to do that a lot tbh)
25. You know who/what #FLANAZAPAM is/represents.
26. You try to avoid planning events on June 25th and August 29th.
27. You know MJ was a vegetarian.
28. You know MJ loved to eat KFC.
29. You also understand how the last two reasons work together even though they seem contradictory.
30. You see nothing wrong with someone having an amusement park and zoo in their back yard. (Literally every child's dream.)
31. You know the real word in "Bad" is SHAMONE and that NSYNC just screwed it up. (Wait, NSYNC did a cover of that?)
32. You discovered Eddie Murphy could sing because he did a song with Michael.
33. Instead of asking someone "What's up?" you ask "Wazupwitu?"
34. You know what PPB means.
35. You know who Captain EO is.
36. You actually understand what's going on in the Smooth Criminal music video.
37. You are fluent in Jacksonese.
38. You often incorporate Michael into your school work. (Again, used to do that a lot.)
39. If you have a twitter, you're following almost every Jackson Family member that has an account. (Another thing with the fandom: c h i l l.)
40. There is at least one MJ song that makes you cry. (I'LL FIND YOU SOMEDAY I SWEAR I KNOW THERE'S AT LEAST ONE THAT MAKES ME CRY TO THIS DAY)
41. You write History as HIStory.
42. Your idea of an educational song is "ABC".
43. You know who's name is REALLY being said in D.S. (And no, it's not Don Sheldon)
44. You believe Flanagan is secretly a double agent. (Ah yes, the person I do not know of)
45. You know how many plastic surgeries MJ has REALLY had. (It's two.)
46. You know what the worlds most sold album is.
47. You own a copy of it :3
48. You have at least ATTEMPTED to dance like MJ.
49. You think you can moonwalk (even if you can't). (I actually can Moonwalk. Didn't take that long to get. Just a few days.)
50. You know how MJ did the 45degree lean.
51. You proved this to yourself by actually trying…
52. You are a member of, or have at least HEARD of MJJC.
53. You had seen nearly everything in the first half of "Moonwalker" before you ever actually watched the film.
54. You HAVE watched the film. XD
55. You know that Michael really has TWO video games.
56. You can list all of Michael's favorite colors.
57. You can say WHY they're his favorite colors.
58. You've heard of Los Olivos, CA.
59. You've also heard of Encino, CA.
60. You blame Joe Jackson and/or the media for many of Michael's problems.
61. You deny Michael had any problems.
62. You often type "hehe" in place of "haha"
63. You have inside jokes somehow related to Michael.
64. You own at LEAST $75 worth of MJ related stuff. (-nervously sweats at CD collection and t-shirts-)
65. You just added up the price of all your MJ things and shocked yourself on how much you've spent over the years…
66. You have attempted to dress like MJ before.
67. You know what abbreviations such as BTM, BotDF, J5, PPB, CM, LNFSG, and LOVE stand for.
68. You find nothing wrong with someone having a pet monkey, llama, or boa constrictor. (Isn't the boa constrictor a thing now?)
69. You have known Murray was guilty since June 25th, 2009.
70. You know the air-chamber rumors were faked.
71. You understand the Leave Me Alone video.
72. You were ticked off when Bruno Mars got that grammy in 2010…
73. Military jackets are COOL. (They always are.)
74. There is absolutely nothing wrong with wearing just one glove…
75. You know why MJ's skin was "white"
76. You can also explain to someone why his KIDS appeared white.
77. You have seen "This is It".
78. You have read "MoonWalk".
79. You know the difference between "Moonwalk" and "Moonwalker".
80. You automatically start listening to a conversation after someone says "Michael Jackson". (Not so much any more.)
81. Your response to "I Love you" is either "I love you more" or "I love you most".
82. When someone asks you what time it is, you feel tempted to tell them "It's close to miiidniight…"
83. You have talked to/flirted with/STARED at a poster/picture/video/etc of Michael. (Reason 342 for departure from fandom: I'M ACE. DO I NEED TO KINKSHAME THEM 24/7?!)
84. You will chew anyone out if they even THINK negative thoughts about Michael in your presence. (PSA No. 579236: C H I L L.)
85. When someone asks if you're alright, you wonder if Annie is also okay…
86. You frequently visit michaeljackson.com.
87. You agree that Ed Chernoff is a jerk.
88. Whenever someone finds out something about MJ, they always ask you if you've heard about it…
89. 99% of the time you have.
90. The best way for someone to get your attention is to say, "Michael Jackson"
91. You can actually pronounce Flanazapam.
92. You have tried to copy Mike's signature at least once.
93. You get irritated by people who claim to be huge MJ fans and only know "Thriller" and "Billie Jean"…
94. You find yourself relating to Michael in random ways.
95. You know what Vitiligo is.
96. You plan on naming your son Michael one day.
97. You don't understand why Thriller is the best selling album when he has some so much better. (Invincible Album is still the best in my opinion and it's so underrated gdi. THREATENED AND UNBREAKABLE SHOULD'VE BEEN MORE NOTICED AS SINGLES. Whoops, okay, rage over.)
98. You can come up with a Michael Jackson quote for nearly every situation.
99. You know where "Ma ma se ma ma sa ma ma co sa" came from.
100. You know how ALL of these scenarios relate to Michael (Without looking them up.)
101. You laughed uneasily at least once while reading this because you didn't realize you were so obsessed.
Favourite PoM Quotes!
"I mean who measures in metric beard lengths?!" Kowalski, Herring Impaired
"Are you kiddin' meh?" Rico, Herring Impaired
"What's this? Amnesia spray, fantastic!" Private, Truth Ache
"Really? So you needed one of your geekatrons to tell you that!" Skipper, LittleFoot