Author has written 11 stories for Penguins of Madagascar, Percy Jackson and the Olympians, Winnie-the-Pooh, Over the Hedge, Doctor Who, Eddsworld, and Captain EO.
What to know about me:
Name: Not telling, but call me Maddy. Or Panda. Mainly Panda.
Age: Somewhere aged between 10 and 60.
Location: Somewhere in a little country/continent/island named Australia. Occasionally NZ too.
About me: Asexual DemiHeteromantic.
Favourite Artists: Michael Jackson, Michael Jackson and oh! Michael Jackson! 8D Okay, I love the guy. But I have other music that I like as well! ;3
IMPORTANT NOTICE: Due to loss of inspiration, I won't continue my PoM stories or ToD until something sparks up again. They will have to be on Hiatus until something comes up again. I will continue them, I'm just stuck. However, new inspiration is on my brain, so I'll still be writing, but not the ones you're used to. But stay tuned! ;) However, Suemageddon won't be on such a Hiatus, as long I can get some peeps who own some of the OC's in the story to help. But it'll be in a hiatus until then.
I'm actually uploading a story and going to be updating it regularly (for once), and you can also find it on tumblr and deviantArt! Keep an eye out for Fridays (whatever time it is on AEST), because that is the day I update!
EDIT: Eagle's Cross is kinda on hiatus. I need to figure out that finale properly. (INTERIOR DESIGN. AND ALL THAT. AGHHHHH)
If you're obsessed with PJO like me, copy this into your profile.
“I am a member of DOU”
Yeah...dunno what's going on DOU, but I guess we'll find out in due time.
Perseus Jackson. Savior of Olympus.
Electricity. That's what will shock you if you mess with Thalia Grace.
Riptide. Percy's lethal ballpoint pen.
Clarisse. That's who will go after you if you beat her in a battle. (And you don't want an angry Clarisse. It's bad enough when she's not angry.)
Yellow duffle bags. Helped Percy, Tyson, and Annabeth.
Jason Grace. Thalia's "lost" little brother.
Annabeth Chase. Percy's girlfriend and official architect of Olympus.
Chiron. Trainer of heroes.
Kaleidoscope. What Piper's eyes look like to Jason.
Son of Neptune. The book we couldn't wait for.
Olympus. Home of the gods.
Nemesis. Ethan's mother. Don't worry, she's getting her revenge on his death.
Atlas. Zoe's father.
Never back down. The phrase that reminds me of TLO.
Dionysus. The god of wine. (More like the god of Diet Coke.)
Thalia Grace. Hunter of Artemis and daughter of Zeus.
Hephaestus. The father of our favorite fire boy. ;)
Empathy link. What Grover and Percy have. Saved Grover's life a couple of times.
Officers. The immortal skeletons dressed up as officers.
Lupa. The she-wolf we all want to know about.
Morpheus. The gods of dreams. Put NYC asleep during TLO.
Persephone. The kidnapped wife of Hades. Believes every hero is brave and wants to give them a chance.
Illiterates. Many kids believe some of the demigods are illiterates.
Artemis. Goddess of the Hunt. Has hunters, including Thalia.
Nothing lasts forever. Even the gods.
Switched. Percy and Jason are switched. Jason at CHB, Percy at Camp Jupiter
Percy Jackson and the Olympians: 20 Questions! (Paste this into your profile if you are an PJatO Fan)
1. If you could hang out anywhere in Camp Half-Blood, where would it be?
Heck, how would I know?
2. Which PJatO Character Would You Date?
I don't know. *shrugs*
3. Which PJatO Character Is Your Best Friend?
The Stolls, Leo, Nico and Percy.
4. Which PJatO Character Do You Hate?
Octavian. Son of a--
5. Your Favorite PJatO book?
Mark of Athena. Or Blood of Olympus. ALL THE SHIPPING FEELS EVERYWHERE
6. Your Favorite PJatO Character?
I don't know! D:
7. Favorite God or Goddess?
Male: Poseidon or Hermes
Female: Hecate or Athena
8. Percy walks up to you, what do you do?
Pull out a super-soaker pistol and squirt him because why the Hades not.
9. You just got 2 tickets to go see a concert, who do you take with you?
What the Hades, I'll take the entire camp under the one ticket XD
10. You accidentally got stranded on a deserted island...who got stranded with you?
Percy, we'd swim back to Camp. :D
11. Hermes asked you to help him repopulate Olympus...what is your answer to this disturbing question?
"Dad plz no"
12. Favorite PJatO Pairing?
WHY ASK THIS WHAT THE HECK I SHIP ALL THE CANONS
13. You and the Big Three are on Olympus...??
Me: NOPE *runs to the elevator*
14. If you could spend your Friday Nights doing something, what would it be?
Pranking the other cabins by launching donuts at Clarisse, stealing the Aphrodites' makeup and painting it on the Hermes cabin, stealing the Apollo kids instruments and breaking them, stealing the Hunters arrows and throwing them at the Apollo boys, taunting Mr. D with wine, etc.
15. Favorite PJatO Quote?
"You just hit the Lord of the Titans in the eye with a blue plastic hairbrush."
16. Favorite Percy Moment?
His reaction to Nico coming out.
17. Favorite Nico Moment?
Cool! Does it ever run out of ink?"
"Um, well, I don't actually write with it."
"Are you really the son of Poseidon?"
"Can you surf really well, then?"
I looked at Grover, who was trying hard not to laugh.
"Jeez, Nico," I said. "I've never really tried."
He went on asking questions. Did I fight a lot with Thalia, since she was a daughter of Zeus?
(I didn't answer that one.) If Annabeth's mother was Athena, the goddess of wisdom, then why didn't Annabeth know better than to fall off a cliff?
(I tried not to strangle Nico for asking that one.) Was Annabeth my girlfriend?
(At this point, I was ready to stick the kid in a meat-flavored sack and throw him to the wolves.)
(Gods, that was amazing. XD)
18. Favorite god or goddess Moment?
"Stop flirting with my hunters!"
19. Favorite Grover Moment?
In tBotL when he scared all of the monsters away while scaring himself in the process. XD
20. Favorite Random Moment?
Leo trying to flirt with Khione. I have no idea why.
GODLY PARENT QUIZ!
(Go have fun with this because I don't use this thing to determine my godly parent any more lmao)
Your Godly Parent is...
You like being in charge.
4/10 (...Hm. Not bad.)
You feel at home in the water.
7/10 (*shrugs* Still pretty good.)
You’re not that much of a people person. (In real life, yes. FF life? No. But I'll stick to the real life side for now.)
6/10 (Who knew?)
You own a garden. (Not very much of one anyway...)
You often start fights. (so I've noticed recently...)
You have an insatiable thirst for knowledge.
You’re very creative and artistic. (Whee painting is fun xD)
3/10 (Still the same.)
HUNTER OF ARTEMIS
You dislike boys in general. (I don't mind them now. :3)
6/10 (Less of a Hunter than what I used to be, huh?)
You have a way with tools.
1/10 (Saw that coming.)
Every guy/girl swoons for you.
You like pick pocketing your friends.
You’re the life of the party.
Being called 'crazy' is a compliment
9/10 (Yay! XD)
2012 Result: Ok, so I'm a Daughter of Poseidon, have things in common with Artemis, and granddaughter of Hermes and Athena. Cool!
2013 Result: Holy Hera! Daughter of Poseidon, have more things in common with Artemis, and a granddaughter of Hermes, Hades, Athena, and Hecate? Mate, my family is mixed up so bad...XD
2014 Result: BEHOLD PARENTAL CHANGE: DAUGHTER OF HECATE!
2015 Result: Another parental change, no quiz needed. Forever a Legacy of Apollo and Daughter of Hermes!
NORMAL PEOPLE: Rely on their local weatherman for the weather forecast
PJO FANS: Will tell Zeus to make it rain
NORMAL PEOPLE: Say OMG!
PJO FANS: Say OH MY GODS!
NORMAL PEOPLE: Go to a psychiatrist to tell their feelings
PJO FANS: Won't go to one because they will take away their awesome demigod powers
NORMAL PEOPLE: Say shut up or I'll tell on you!
PJO FANS: Say shut up or my godly parent will vaporize you!
NORMAL PEOPLE: Think that PJO fans are stupid
PJO FANS: Know that normal people are stupid
NORMAL PEOPLE: When being chased yell HELP ME SOMEBODY!
PJO FANS: When being chased use their demigod powers
NORMAL PEOPLE: Get nervous/scared during thunderstorms
PJO FANS: Yell at Zeus to calm down
NORMAL PEOPLE: Would choose somewhere sunny to go for vacation
PJO FANS: Would try and find Camp Half Blood
NORMAL PEOPLE: would run if the were being chased
PJO FANS: would say 'I have a pen!'
NORMAL PEOPLE: Don't have this on their profile
PJO FANS: FOR THE LOVE OF ZEUS WOULD HAVE THIS ON THEIR PROFILE ALREADY!!!!!
The Percy Jackson pledge:
I promise to remember Percy
I promise to remember Ares Each time I hear of World War II
And I promise to remember Athena Whenever I hear of a loom
I promise to use the Internet For Hermes' sake of course
And I promise to remember Poseidon Whenever I ride a horse
I promise to remember Zeus Whenever lightning fills the sky
And I promise to remember Hera Every time a guy makes a girl cry
I promise to remember Aphrodite Whenever I see a girdle made of gold
And I promise to remember Apollo When the sun is very bold
I promise to remember Artemis When the moon shines in the night
And I promise to remember Hades When something gives me a fright
I promise to remember Demeter Whenever a daughter moves away
And I promise to remember Hephaestus When someone never gets their way
I promise to remember Dionysus When I am at a party
And I promise to remember Hestia When someone's smile is very hearty
Yes I promise to love The Gods Wherever I may go
So that all may see my obsession
Because I know what the Olympians know!
NOW SWEAR THEM ON THE STYX!!! *thunder booms*
You Know You’re Obsessed With Percy Jackson When…
There’s a thunderstorm going on and you scream, “CALM DOWN, ZEUS!”
Every time you use the Internet, you thank Hermes.
When you see Harry Potter, you think of Percy with glasses.
You burn food to see if it smells good.
You see an owl, you go, “Hi Athena!”
Everyone else is creating a *whateverfandomitis* family and you create a PJO family.
You go on a cruise and you hope the boat isn't The Princess Andromeda…
You sometimes try to control water.
You don't read anything but PJO for 3 months.
You've gone to Google maps and looked up Camp Half-Blood’s address.
Even though not diagnosed, you claim you have ADHD or dyslexia and blame it on your God parent.
You yell "Annabeth!" every time you see a NY Yankees hat.
You make the PJO characters on Sims, as Miis on the Wii, and other video games.
Anytime you see an orange shirt, you look at the front of it to see if it is a Camp shirt. (I actually have one! XD)
You are a PJO character for Halloween.
Recite lines randomly from the books.
When you see/hear about anything mythology-related, you talk about how it was in PJO (what page, book, etc.) and what happened to it.
Buy anything New York or San Francisco-related.
You are suddenly obsessed with Adidas shoes because they have the Hermes symbol.
Yet you become conflicted with the two because you don't want to anger Nike with a rival brand.
You claim that Percy IS real and lives in New York no matter how much your friends argue with you.
You have dreams about PJO characters/events. (One of them was when I was an obvious-looking daughter of Poseidon, but had to be disguised as a kid of Hades.)
You carry a ballpoint pen in your pocket.
That every time you pick up a pen, you think it'll turn into a sword.
In the beginning of your first History class, you burst out "Will we be studying Greek mythology?!"
You pretend (or actually) faint when someone asks "Who's Percy?"
When someone mentions the name Percy (like Percy Weasley) you scream "JACKSON!"
You are known to scream names of the characters at random times.
You've got any copy of any book in all your backpacks/binders in case of emergencies.
You make a list of characters never to anger, like this one and why:
Thalia- Want her for your friend, hate her for your enemy. Also she's a hunter, her aim with an arrow is very accurate...
Athena- She scares Percy more than Zeus. Also, she cannot be distracted and her plans always work.
Hades- Um, this one is rather obvious- also you might not be buried with a drachma in your pocket.
Hermes- Cutting off your internet access would be slow and painful torture. Also I blame the economy crisis on Luke's stealing federal funds.
Aphrodite- She's preoccupied with Percabeth and trust me you don't want to waste her time!
You write fanfiction constantly, even when you're not at your computer.
You give all your siblings god parents (Poseidon, Zeus, Hades.)
You call the "Ares kids", or school bullies, Martians.
You quiz fellow fans on the minor gods and win.
You spend time doing pointless research at it, just because Rick Riordan linked it on his site.
You still think Thuke could happen. (Uh, no. Thalia is a hunter, and Luke is well...gone.)
You plan several statements to avoid Apollo's lines and remember he's a player, should he ever hit on you, and several ways to get out of being cursed.
You imagine the gods alone, and what they really do on the Superbowl.
Your mother thinks you need to get a boyfriend/girlfriend, as does your father to cure your obsession.
You read page 203 of BotL over and over again or say the lines in your head.
You know exactly what someone means when they say LT, SoM, TC, BotL, TLO PJO, BoO, HoH, MoA, SoN, TLH, HoO and use it in conversations.
You find yourself saying things like "Oh my gods!" and "What the Hades?"
You go to the empire state building and ask for the 600th floor. When the dude at the desk looks at you weird, you announce that you're a demigod.
You put in grey contacts and pretend that you are Annabeth.
You curse out the gods when something bad happens.
You watch the film(however bad it is) and read the books every chance you get. (Watch that THING?! Gods no!)
You claim that you are a demigod and need to go to camp in New York.
You go to New York and ask for a man named Chiron and and say you need to go with him.
You look for a Latin teacher that is in a wheelchair and loves to throw Greek field days.
You try to find Rachel and ask her for a prophecy.
Every time a major water storm or earthquake happens you question at Poseidon
Every time something or someone dies that you are close to, you blame Hades or Thanatos.
You talk about them nonstop.
You’re in a running/swimming race and you’re praying and sacrificing to Hermes/Poseidon.
You think that your favorite singer is a child of Apollo.
Someone close to you dies and you give them money (LOTS of it) just in case…
You’re on a boat and you pray that Poseidon is in a good mood.
You’re in the air (hang-gliding, cliff-diving, bungee jumping, flying, in a plane, etc.) and you hope Zeus is in a good mood and won’t blast you out of the air.
You go to Aunty Em’s and say you’re camera shy.
You find your true love and thank Aphrodite for sending him/her to you.
You think George Bush is a son of Ares.
You know Muse is the best singers.
Bring a blue plastic hairbrush with you everywhere.
When it gets really cold randomly, you blame Kronos.
You get really mad at Hades when a family member dies
Every time you play dodge ball, you bring a suit of armor.
You go to San Francisco looking for the Old Sea Man.
Whenever your Internet slows down, you yell at the sky and say "HERMES! WHY DO YOU LOVE ANNOYING ME?!"
You pray to Athena when you don’t study for a math test.
And when you flunk said test, you blame her irritation on Percabeth.
You want Hephaestus to fix your iPod when it breaks.
When someone gets married, you say: "I hope you shall not anger Hera"
You cried when you finished TLO and BoO
You eat, sleep, and breath Percabeth
Every school book you own has PJO stuff scribbled on each page.
You're in love with a fictional character
You and your BFF call yourselves geeks because you sit around and talk about PJO
You own homemade replicas of things from the PJO series
You dream of going to Camp Half-Blood
You buy everything you see with an owl or trident on it.
You yell “Burrito Fight!” whenever you’re in a Mexican restaurant.
You checked to make sure your vice-principal doesn't have a tail.
You know which pages the good parts are on.
You start hearing Percabeth in every song you hear.
You started calling your dog Mrs. O’Leary.
You start figuring out who your godly parent is.
You never looked at a ballpoint pen the same way again.
You ask the cashier at the store if they stock Mythomagic cards.
You start doing pro/con lists in your head. During Math. When you’re supposed to be taking notes.
You start spelling character names out of your spelling words.
You start loving blue plastic hairbrushes and anyone who wields them.
Each day you check every fan site you know of for new information.
You try to figure out how much food dye you need to turn chocolate chip cookies blue.
You make references to it in school reports and/or to friends that haven’t read it.
The first thing you ask someone when you meet them is, “Have you read PJO?”
On your trip to Washington D.C. you thought of Annabeth every time you saw a monument.
You have one (or more) pictures relating to PJO in your room. (I want one!)
You know PJO better then most sane people.
You have links to every great PJO site.
You know what you would do if you were Percy.
At least half of your friends have read all the PJO, or are going to in the very near future.
You wish you could find a rainbow to see if Iris messages work.
For April Fools, you put a piece of paper over a card/cards and told your friends that they were Myth-O-Magic cards and they understood.
Your friends all have a godly parent, and so do you, and your family, and your extended family, and your far, far, far away cousins.
You are trying to learn Greek.
You keep thinking about one of the PJO books when you go on a trip.
Every language you know is some form of Ancient Greek.
You shriek every time you see a guy with black hair and green eyes.
You just HAVE to research more about Greek mythology.
You call up the Camp Half Blood number in LT.
You want to learn Latin.
About 75-100 of your fics are PJO related, even if it is a crossover.
You have taken every test you can find about what demigodly parent you would/do/should have, and your friends have as well or are going to.
You make sure all of your friends (or most of them), have an idea about what you say when talking about PJO.
Your friends (at least one), think you are obsessed with PJO, and you agree.
A friend (or more), think you should start taking pills and/or going to a mental doctor, because you are so obsessed.
You have something on your school things (or home things), that says 'Son (Or daughter if you're a girl) of god/goddess', and you don't even try to hide it, even if it says daughter of 'name of disliked god/goddess'.
You’re nodding and smiling when you read this.
You own every single book. (Including the guide, and the Demigod Files).
You are planning on adding a lot more things to this list.
You call yourself a demigod.
You wish with every fiber of your being that the first page of The Lightning Thief told the truth, and the PJO series is real.
You find yourself praying to a random god when you didn't study for a math test because you were too busy reading PJO.
You've called someone you know a satyr.
You noticed that in TLO, Rick Riordan wrote Connor in Chapter 3 (I Take a Sneak Peak to my Death) and Conner in Chapter 10 (I Buy Some New Friends)
When you're History teacher asks you what's your favourite food and you answer 'Double Stuff Oreos' because Ares gave them those with a backpack in TLT.
You accidentally call one of your friends a PJO name
You try to talk to horses
You try to summon the dead
You try to summon lightning
You try to breathe underwater
You look for an entrance to the Labyrinth in your basement
You check to see if horses have wings before you ride them
you write fics about your favourite pairing(s) kids
A Percy Jackson Christmas Carol.
Crashing through the snow, on an automation horse draw sleigh,
Over the shields we go, Kronos' minions exploding away,
Bells on Blackjack's wing, Riptide shining bright,
What fun it is to slash and swing our clubs and swords tonight,
Oh! Jingle Bells, Kronos smells, Percy's on his way,
Fighting lots of monsters as he comes to save the day, Hey!
Jingle Bells, Kronos smells, Mrs. O' Leary's come to play,
Chewing the heads off monsters as she comes to Percy's aid,
A dream or two ago, I saw a rising tide,
A horse and eagle fight,
A thunder bolt by my side,
The eagle got hit and sank,
Some time the horse had bought,
Poseidon's face turned blank,
As he foiled Zeus' plot,
Oh! Jingle bells, Kronos smells, Percy's on his way,
Fighting lots of monsters as he comes to save the day, Hey!
Jingle Bells, Kronos smells, Mrs. O' Leary's come to play,
Chewing the heads off monsters as she comes to Percy's aid, Yay!
Jingle Bells, Kronos smells, Percy's on his way,
fighting lots of monsters as he comes to save the day, Hey!
Jingle bells, Kronos smells, Mrs. O' Leary's come to play
Chewing the heads off monsters as she comes to Percy's aid.
Important Things I Learned From Rick Riordan
Even cat goddesses like growling at birds.
Underwater kisses are way better than normal ones.
The five elements are earth, air, fire, water, and cheese.
Children of rival gods can fall in love.
No one really knows why the Egyptians wrote without vowels.
Nemean lions can be defeated with freeze dried ice cream.
Eating fruit bats is bad for your health.
Contrary to popular belief, hellhounds can be domesticated.
The Set animal does not appreciate being named Leroy.
Yes, that twelve year old wearing a silver jacket is a goddess.
Jackal headed gods can be very attractive.
Math teachers really are evil. (SO TRUE! DDD:)
Set's secret name is Evil Day. (Use this to your advantage...)
It's not easy to insult a daughter of Athena.
Elvis was a magician. No, really.
Do not trust the bald man who wants to sell you a water bed.
Boomerangs can cast spells.
It's possible to gamble moonlight.
Even the ferryman of the dead wants a pay raise.
Rainbows have power. (YAY! RAINBOWS! *goes crazy*)
Fruit bats can be deadly.
If you hear a voice in your head, you're not crazy - you just have an über-powerful god living inside you.
Demons will give you free samples if you ask nicely.
Even plants can wage war.
It's not safe to leave a possessed hispanic alone in a warship.
If anything has been stolen immediately blame Hermes or the Stolls
You can use bubble wrap and wood sticks as a splint.
Even the Roman god of wine wants to turn Percy into a dolphin.
With great power, comes a great need to take a nap.
The thousand-year-old girl does not know what it means to look for the dam snack bar
DON'T piss off a nymph or there will be worms and dirt in your bed
Three kids can "drown" in a REALLY big bathtub.
Don't blow your nose while someone's being chased by evil skeletons.
Fafaels are good. Don't even question it.
In memory of...
...Luke Castellan, who died to save Olympus and will always be remembered as a hero
...Zoe Nightshade, who went on a quest knowing very well that she would die
...Bianca di Angelo, who sacrificed herself to save her friends
...Daedalus, who died to prevent Kronos' army from using the Labyrinth
...Silena Beauregard, who proved beauty can be heroic
...Charles Beckendorf, who let himself die for the sake of a mission's success
...Everyone who died in the Titan War
The Kane Chronicles Pledge
I promise to remember Carter
When I travel far away
I promise to remember Sadie
When I have something sarcastic to say
I promise to remember Desjardins
When someone doesn't fight fair
I promise to remember Amos
When someone has beads in their hair
I promise to remember Iskandar
When I see someone very old
I promise to remember Bast
When I see cat's eyes that are gold
I promise to remember Horus
When I see a beautiful bird
I promise to remember Isis
Whenever strange voices are heard
I promise to remember Set
When someone is clever and sly
I promise to remember Anubis
When a cute boy catches my eye
I promise to remember Zia
When I see someone working magic
I promise to remember Julius Kane
When someone's life is tragic
I promise to remember Ruby Kane
When someone I love is gone
And whenever I read The Red Pyramid
I'll always remember this song.
Things that I am Not Allowed to do at the 21st Nome/House of Life.
1. I will not taunt Bast with birds and mice.
2. I am not allowed to call Bast, 'Crookshanks'.
3. Saying, "I tawt I taw a Puddy tat!" Whenever Bast is around is not acceptable.
4. Any similarities between Freak and Buckbeak are simply coincidental.
5. Nor should I ever arrange a meeting between the two.
6. I am not allowed to criticise the magicians wands, saying: "They are just boomerangs!"
7. Nor say that, "Hogwarts has better ones".
8. Whenever Carter Kane is around in his combat avatar, I am not allowed to call him 'Chicken Head'.
9. I may not introduce Felix to the show 'The Penguins of Madagascar'.
10. Taking him to Central Park Zoo in Manhattan to see if they are real is not a good idea either.
11. Or creating shabitis of them with him as well.
12. I may not bring the penguins into the 21st Nome when Bast is there too.
13. I will not call Felix, 'Jack Frost', and protest that he's missing his blue hoodie and staff, and dyed his hair back to brown.
14. I am not allowed to call Bast, 'Catwoman's Cousin'.
If you had burst out laughing reading this, copy and paste this to your profile and add to the list!
I really don't seem to care about Justin Bieber any more. I'm just 10,000% over and done with him.
Really Dumb Store labels:
On a Myers hairdryer:
On a bag of
On a bar of Palmolive soap:
On some frozen dinners:
On Nanna's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom):
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
On packaging for a K-Mart iron:
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:
On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (One would hope.)
On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (As opposed to using it in space.)
On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (I gotta admit, I'm curious.)
On a Swedish chainsaw: Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands. (Raise your hand if you've tried this.)
On Sainsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (But it doesn't contain peas?)
On a package of pasta after the cooking instructions: "Put on fork and eat." (No! Really? We're supposed to eat food?!)
On artificial bacon: "Real artificial bacon bits". (So we don't get fake fake bacon. Oh no we get real fake bacon.)
On an American Airlines bag of peanuts: Instructions: Open bag, eat nuts. (gee, somebody must've been paid big bucks to do this one...)
On a child's superman costume:
On a cartilage for a laser printer:
On a carpenter's electric drill:
I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear it up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you!!! IF THIS MADE YOU LAUGH COPY AND PASTE IT ON YOUR PROFILE.
Kids Are Quick
TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America .
MARIA: Here it is.
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?
TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.
TEACHER: Glen, how do you spell 'crocodile?'
TEACHER: No, that's wrong.
GLEN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.
TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with ' I. '
MILLIE: I is..
TEACHER: No, Millie... Always say, 'I am.'
MILLIE: All right... 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'
TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand. (I wouldn't either!)
TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
CLYDE : No, sir. It's the same dog.
TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher.
(WOW HAROLD YOU HAD YOUR SASSY PANTS ON TODAY
FOUR FOR YOU HAROLD
YOU GO HAROLD)
Things that are in bold apply to me
YOUR GUY SIDE:
(x) You love hoodies
(x) You love jeans
(x) Dogs are better than cats
(x) It's hilarious when people get hurt (After I ask if they are ok)
(x) You've played with/against boys on a team.
(x) Shopping is torture.
(x) Sad movies suck
(x) You own/ed an X-Box.
(x) Played with Hotwheel cars as a kid
(x) At some point in time you wanted to be a firefighter.
(x) You own/ed a DS, PS2 or Sega.
(x) You used to be obsessed with Power Rangers
(x) You watch sports on TV
(x) Gory movies are cool
(x) You go to your dad for advice
(x)You own like a trillion baseball caps.
(x) You like going to high school football games.
(x) You used to/do collect football/baseball cards.
(x) Baggy pants are cool to wear
(x) It's kinda weird to have sleepovers with a bunch of people.
(x) Green, black,red, blue, or silver are one of your favorite colors
(x) You love to go crazy and not care what people think
(x) Sports are fun
(x)Talk with food in your mouth.
(x) Sleep with your socks on at night
TOTAL: 12(and I'm a girl...)
YOUR GIRL SIDE:
(x) Cats are better than dogs.
(x) You wear lip gloss/chapstick. (Shut up my lips dry a lot on me)
(x) You love to shop
(x) You wear eyeliner.
(x) You wear the color pink.
(x) Go to your mom for advice.
(x) You consider cheerleading a sport.
(x) You hate wearing the color black
(x) You like hanging out at the mall.
(x) You like getting manicures and/or pedicures.
(x) You like wearing jewelry (Eh.)
(x) Skirts are a big part of your wardrobe.
(x) Shopping is one of your favorite hobbies.
(x) You don't like the movie Star Wars.
(x) You were in gymnastics/dance.
(x) It takes you around/ more one hour to shower, get dressed, and make-up. (I don't wear make-up...)
(x) You smile a lot more than you should
(x) You have more than 10 pairs of shoes. (I blame my family)
(x) You care about what you look like.
(x) You like wearing dresses when you can. (When I'm in the mood)
(x) You like wearing body spray/perfume/cologne. (They make me nauseous)
(x) You love the movies.
(x) Used to play with dolls as little kid
(x) Like putting make-up on someone else for the joy/joke of it
(x) Like being the star of every thing
I AM A TOMBOY! BOOYAH!
7 Ways to scare your roommates (This is my absolute favorite)
7) Buy some knives. Sharpen them every night. While you're doing so, look at your roommate and mutter, "Soon, soon..."
6) Collect hundreds of pens and pile them on one side of the room. Keep one pencil on the other side of the room. Laugh at the pencil.
5) Tell your roommate, "I've got an important message for you." Then pretend to faint. When you recover, say you can't remember what the message was. Later on, say, "Oh, yeah, I remember!" Pretend to faint again. Keep this up for several weeks.
4) While your roommate is out, glue your shoes to the ceiling. When your roommate walks in, sit on the floor, hold your head, and moan.
3) Make a sandwich. Don't eat it, leave it on the floor. Ignore the sandwich. Wait until your roommate gets rid of it, and then say, "Hey, where the heck is my sandwich?" Complain loudly that you're hungry.
2) Every time your roommate walks in yell, "Hooray! You're back!" as loud as you can and dance around the room for five minutes. Afterwards, keep looking at your watch and saying, "Shouldn't you be going somewhere?"
1) Talk back to your Rice Krispies. All of a sudden, act offended, throw the bowl on the floor and kick it. Refuse to clean it up, explaining, "No, I want to watch them suffer."
DORMITORY: When you rearrange the letters: DIRTY ROOM
ASTRONOMER: When you rearrange the letters: MOON STARER
DESPERATION: When you rearrange the letters: A ROPE ENDS IT
THE EYES: When you rearrange the letters: THEY SEE
GEORGE BUSH: When you rearrange the letters: HE BUGS GORE
THE MORSE CODE : When you rearrange the letters: HERE COME DOTS
SLOT MACHINES: When you rearrange the letters: CASH LOST IN ME
ANIMOSITY: When you rearrange the letters: IS NO AMITY
ELECTION - RESULTS: When you rearrange the letters: LIES - LET'S RECOUNT
SNOOZE ALARMS: When you rearrange the letters: ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S
A DECIMAL POINT: When you rearrange the letters: IM A DOT IN PLACE
THE EARTHQUAKES: When you rearrange the letters: THAT QUEER SHAKE
ELEVEN PLUS TWO: When you rearrange the letters: TWELVE PLUS ONE
MOTHER-IN-LAW: When you rearrange the letters: WOMAN HITLER (O_O That one's scary!)
My best friends are the kind that if my house were on fire, they'd be roasting marshmallows and flirting with the firemen. Oh, you think I'm kidding.
My friends are the kind of people that would spend hours trying to drown a fish. ...But I love them to death!
They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people.
Some see the glass half full, some see it half empty. Me? I just want to know who the heck is drinking my dang cola!!!
There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE, then it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile.
Officer, I swear to drunk, I'm not God!
You know it's gonna be a bad day when you fall out of bed and miss the floor.
I've got ADHD and Magic Markers. Oh the fun I will have! (Not really, but still! XD)
I'm not paranoid... WHICH OF MY ENEMIES TOLD YOU THIS?!
The surest sign of Intelligent Life out there is that none of them has ever tried to contact Us.
Why is it necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin?
I'm the kind of person who will burst out laughing in the middle of a dead silence because of something that happened yesterday.
You cry, I cry. You laugh, I laugh. You fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder.
Don't be surprised if a fat guy in a red suit stuffs you in a bag in the middle of the night because I asked for you for Christmas.
If you enjoy copying and pasting these copy and paste thingys, copy and paste this onto your profile.
The white man said, "Coloured people are not allowed here."
The black man turned around and stood up.
He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me coloured?"
The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away... Post this on your profile if you hate racism.
YOUR REAL NAME: Krystal (I am NEVER going to reveal my real name, so I'll stick with my OC's name.)
YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (fav color and fav animal) Blue Penguin
YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (your middle name and street you live on) Joy Cove (Not bad.)
YOUR STAR WARS NAME: (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters Of your first name) Bogkr (DaFudge?)
YOUR SUPERHERO NAME: (Your 2nd favorite color, and favorite drink) Green L&P (L&P is a soft drink from NZ. IT ROCKS!)
YOUR GOTH NAME: (black, and the name of one of your pets) Black Max. (Max was a former pet rabbit my bro had before he escaped.)
YOUR WITNESS PROTECTION PROGRAM NAME: (both parents' middle names) Felicia Liviu (It's European, deal with it.)
YOUR PIRATE NAME: (random color and random pirate accessory) Orange Eyepatch.
If you think, like, that teenage girls are like, sooo annoying by saying things, like, Like, and Sooooo, then soooo copy and paste this into your profile, then like, add your name to the list. Sweetpanda12 (*gags* Ugh, and to think I created this!),
Scroll down to the end of this paragraph,
Go for it!
Congratulations! Your wish will now come true in your age minutes.
This is scary! The phone will ring right after you repost!
Lend you their umbrella
Take yours and say 'RUN YOU IDIOT RUN!'
Never ask for anything to eat or drink.
Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.
Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandma, by Grandpa.
Call your parents DAD and MOM and GRAMS, GRAMPS!
Would bail you out of jail.
Would be sitting next to you saying "THAT WAS FRICKING AWESOME"
Have never seen you cry.
Won’t tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when you’re not down anymore.
Ask you to write down your number.
Have you on speed dial.
Only know a few things about you.
Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...
Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
Will kick the whole crowds butt that left you
Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.
Loses your crap and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."
Would knock on your front door.
Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."
You have to tell them not to tell anyone.
Already know not to tell.
Are only through school/college.
Are for life.
Will comfort you when the guy rejects you
Will go up to him and say "It's because you're gay isn't it?"
Will help you when you're lost
Will be giving you bad directions and screwing with your compass
Will go with you to a concert
Will be helping you kidnap the band
Will hide you from the cops
Are probably the reason they are after you
Will buy you a pregnancy test
Will be standing outside the bathroom door screaming, "Name it after me!"
Find your Prince Charming
Find him, kidnap him and then bring him to you
Will pick you up when you fall down
Will pick you up, then trip you again
Borrow your stuff for a few days then return it
Have had your stuff for so long they've forgotten it's yours
Will leave when they feel insulted
Will forgive you even if you don't know what you said wrong
Will ask you if you're okay when you're crying
Will cry with you and then go beat up the sorry loser who made you cry
Will offer you a soda
Will dump theirs on you
Will sit at the side of the pool with you when it's that time of the month
Will throw you a tampon and push you in
Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough
Will look at you stumbling all over the place and say, "Girl, drink the rest of that! You know we don't waste that kind of shit!"
Will be crying at your funeral
Will be sitting in jail for killing the guy who murdered you
Would ignore this letter
Will repost this crap!
WHAT TO DO IN AN EXAM YOU KNOW YOU'RE GOING TO FAIL ANYWAYS:
1. Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming "Andre, Andre, I've got the secret documents!!"
2. Talk the entire way through the exam. Read questions aloud, debate your answers with yourself out loud. If asked to stop, yell out, "I'm SOOO sure that you can hear me thinking." Then start talking about what a jerk the instructor is.
3. Bring a Game Boy. Play with the volume at max level.
4. On the answer sheet find a new, interesting way to refuse to answer every question. For example: I refuse to answer this question on the grounds that it conflicts with my religious beliefs. Be creative.
5. Run into the exam room looking about frantically. Breathe a sigh of relief. Go to the instructor, say "They've found me, I have to leave the country" and run off.
6. 15 min. into the exam, stand up, rip up all the papers into very small pieces, throw them into the air and yell out "Merry Christmas." If you're really daring, ask for another copy of the exam. Say you lost the first one. Repeat this process every 15 min.
7. Come into the exam wearing slippers, a bathrobe, a towel on your head, and nothing else.
8. Bring things to throw at the instructor when s/he's not looking. Blame it on the person nearest to you.
9. As soon as the instructor hands you the exam, eat it.
10. Every 5 min. stand up, collect all your things, move to another seat, continue with the exam.
11. Turn in the exam approx. 30 min. into it. As you walk out, start commenting on how easy it was.
12. Arrange a protest before the exam starts (i.e. Threaten the instructor that whether or not everyone's done, they are all leaving after one hour to go drink.)
13. Show up completely drunk (completely drunk means at some point during the exam, you should start crying for mommy).
14. Comment on how sexy the instructor is looking that day.
15. Come to the exam wearing a black cloak. After about 30 min, put on a white mask and start yelling "I'm here, the phantom of the opera" until they drag you away.
16. If the exam is math/sciences related, make up the longest proofs you could possible think of. Get pi and imaginary numbers into most equations. If it is a written exam, relate everything to your own life story.
17. Try to get people in the room to do a wave.
18. During the exam, take apart everything around you. Desks, chairs, anything you can reach.
19. Puke into your exam booklet. Hand it in. Leave.
20. Take 6 packages of rice cakes to the exam. Stuff at least 2 rice cakes into your mouth at once. Chew, then cough. Repeat if necessary.
21. Walk in, get the exam, sit down. About 5 min into it, loudly say to the instructor, "I don't understand ANY of this. I've been to every lecture all semester long! What's the deal? And who the hell are you? Where's the regular guy?"
22. Do the entire exam in another language. If you don't know one, make one up!
23. Bring a black marker. Return the exam with all questions and answers completely blacked out.
24. Every now and then, clap twice rapidly. If the instructor asks why, tell him/her in a very derogatory tone, "The light bulb that goes on above my head when I get an idea is hooked up to a clapper. DUH!"
25. From the moment the exam begins, hum the theme to Jeopardy. Ignore the instructor's requests for you to stop. When they finally get you to leave one way or another, begin whistling the theme to the Bridge on the River Kwai.
26. After you get the exam, call the instructor over, point to any question, ask for the answer. Try to work it out of him/her.
27. In the middle of the test, have a friend rush into the classroom, tag your hand, and resume taking your test for you. When the teacher asks what's going on, calmly explain the rules of Tag Team Testing to him/her.
28. Bring cheat sheets FOR ANOTHER CLASS (make sure this is obvious... like history notes for a calculus exam... otherwise you're not just failing, you're getting kicked out too) and staple them to the exam, with the comment "Please use the attached notes for references as you see fit."
29. Stand up after about 15 minutes, and say loudly, "Okay, let's double-check our answers! Number one, A. Number two, C. Number three, E..."
30. Wear a superman outfit under your normal clothes. 30 minutes into the exam, jump up and answer your phone, shouting "What? I'm on my way!!". rip off your outer clothes and run out of the room. Strike a pose first for added effect.
31. Tailgate outside the classroom before the exam.
32. Bring a giant cockroach into the room and release it on a girl nearby.
33. Complete the exam with everything you write being backwards at a 90 degree angle.
34. Bring one pencil with a very sharp point. Break the point off your paper. Sharpen the pencil. Repeat this process for one hour.
35. Make Strange noises... get people to stare... look at the person next to you as if he/she did it.
36. Dress like the professor.
37. Use Invisible Ink to answer the whole exam.
38. Order catering. The catering company should come in about halfway through the test, and should include at least three waiters, eight carts of food, and five candelabras.
If this made you crack up copy and paste!
THINGS YOU NEVER WANT TO HEAR WHILE UNDERGOING SURGERY:
1. "Better save that. We'll need it for the autopsy."
2. "Someone call the janitor - we're going to need a mop."
3. "Accept this sacrifice, O Great Lord of Darkness"
4. "Bo! Bo! Come back with that! Bad Dog!"
5. "Wait a minute, if this is his spleen, then what's that?"
6. "Hand me that...uh...that uh...thingy."
7. "Oh no! I just lost my Rolex."
8. "Oops! Hey, has anyone ever survived 500ml of this stuff before?"
9. "Damn, there go the lights again..."
10. "Ya know, there's big money in kidneys. Hell, the guy's got two of them."
11. "What do you mean you want a divorce?"
50 Ways To Mess With People In A Computer Lab
1. Log on, wait a sec, then get a frightened look on your face and scream "Oh my God! They've found me!" and bolt.
2. Laugh uncontrollably for about 3 minutes & then suddenly stop and look suspiciously at everyone who looks at you.
3. When your computer is turned off, complain to the monitor on duty that you can't get the damn thing to work. After he/she's turned it on, wait 5 minutes, turn it off again, & repeat the process for a good half hour.
4. Type frantically, often stopping to look at the person next to you evilly.
5. Before anyone else is in the lab, connect each computer to a different screen than the one it's set up with.
6. Write a program that plays the "Smurfs" theme song and play it at the highest volume possible over & over again.
7. Work normally for a while. Suddenly look amazingly startled by something on the screen and crawl underneath the desk.
8. Ask the person next to you if they know how to tap into top-secret Pentagon files.
9. Use Interactive Send to make passes at people you don't know.
10. Make a small ritual sacrifice to the computer before you turn it on.
11. Bring a chainsaw, but don't use it. If anyone asks why you have it, say "Just in case..." mysteriously.
12. Type on VAX for a while. Suddenly start cursing for 3 minutes at everything bad about your life. Then stop and continue typing.
13. Bring a Boombox and play Gangnam Style at top volume.
14. Light candles in a pentagram around your terminal before starting.
15. Ask around for a spare disk. Offer $2. Keep asking until someone agrees. Then, pull a disk out of your fly and say "Oops, I forgot."
16. Every time you press Return and there is processing time required, pray "Ohpleaseohpleaseohpleaseohplease," and scream "YES!" when it finishes.
17. "DISK FIGHT!!!"
18. Start making out with the person at the terminal next to you (It helps if you know them, but this is also a great way to make new friends).
19. Put a straw in your mouth and put your hands in your pockets. Type by hitting the keys with the straw.
20. If you're sitting in a swivel chair, spin around singing "The Lion Sleeps Tonight" whenever there is processing time required.
21. Draw a picture of a woman (or man) on a piece of paper, tape it to your monitor. Flirt with it.
22. Try to stick a Nintendo cartridge into the 3 disc drive, when it doesn't work, get the supervisor.
23. When you are on an IBM, and when you turn it on, ask loudly where the smiling Apple face is when you turn on one of those.
24. Print out the complete works of Shakespeare, then when it's all done (two days later) say that all you wanted was one line.
25. Sit and stare at the screen, biting your nails noisily. After doing this for a while, spit them out at the feet of the person next to you.
26. Stare at the screen, grind your teeth, stop, look at the person next to grinding. Repeat procedure, making sure you never provoke the person enough to let them blow up, as this releases tension, and it is far more effective to let them linger.
27. If you have long hair, take a typing break, look for split ends, cut them and deposit them on your neighbor's keyboard as you leave.
28. Put a large, gold-framed portrait of the British Royal Family on your desk and loudly proclaim that it inspires you.
29. Come to the lab wearing several layers of socks. Remove shoes and place them on top of the monitor. Remove socks layer by layer and drape them around the monitor. Exclaim sudden haiku about the aesthetic beauty of cotton on plastic.
30. Take the keyboard and sit under the computer. Type up your paper like this. Then go to the lab supervisor and complain about the bad working conditions.
31. Laugh hysterically, shout "You will all perish in flames!!!" and continue working.
32. Bring some dry ice & make it look like your computer is smoking.
33. Assign a musical note to every key (ie. the Delete key is A Flat, the B key is F sharp, etc.). Whenever you hit a key, hum it's note loudly. Write an entire paper this way.
34. Attempt to eat your computer's mouse.
35. Borrow someone else's keyboard by reaching over, saying "Excuse me, mind if I borrow this for a sec?", unplugging the keyboard & taking it.
36. Bring in a bunch of magnets and have fun.
37. When doing calculations, pull out an abacus and say that sometimes the old ways are best.
38. Play Pong for hours on the most powerful computer in the lab.
39. Make a loud noise of hitting the same key over and over again until you see that your neighbor is noticing (You can hit the space bar so your fill isn't affected). Then look at your neighbor's keyboard. Hit his/her delete key several times, erasing an entire word. While you do this, ask: "Does *your* delete key work?" Shake your head, and resume hitting the space bar on your keyboard. Keep doing this until you've deleted about a page of your neighbor's document. Then, suddenly exclaim: "Well, whaddya know? I've been hitting the space bar this whole time. No wonder it wasn't deleting! Ha!" Print out your document and leave.
40. Remove your disk from the drive and hide it. Go to the lab monitor and complain that your computer ate your disk. (For special effects, put some Elmer's Glue on or around the disk drive. Claim that the computer is drooling.)
41. Stare at the person's next to your's screen, look really puzzled, burst out laughing, and say "You did that?" loudly. Keep laughing, grab your stuff and leave, howling with laughter as you go.
42. Point at the screen. Chant in a made up language while making elaborate hand gestures for a minute or two. Press return or the mouse, then leap back and yell "TAKE COVEEEEERRRRRR!" peek up from under the table, walk back to the computer and say. "Oh, good. It worked this time," and calmly start to type again.
43. Keep looking at invisible bugs and trying to swat them.
44. See who's online. Send a total stranger a talk request. Talk to them like you've known them all your lives. Hang up before they get a chance to figure out you're a total stranger.
45. Bring a small tape player with a tape of really absurd sound effects. Pretend it's the computer and look really lost.
46. Pull out a pencil. Start writing on the screen. Complain that the lead doesn't work.
47. Come into the computer lab wearing several endangered species of flowers in your hair. Smile incessantly. Type a sentence, then laugh happily, exclaim "You're such a marvel!!", and kiss the screen. Repeat this after every sentence. As your ecstasy mounts, also hug the keyboard. Finally, hug your neighbor, then the computer assistant, and walk out.
48. Run into the computer lab, shout "Armageddon is here!!!!!", then calmly sit down and begin to type.
49. Quietly walk into the computer lab with a Black and Decker chainsaw, rev that baby up, and then walk up to the nearest person and say "Give me that computer or you'll be feeding my pet crocodile for the next week".
50. Two words: Tesla Coil.
How much am I worth?
Natural Hair Color:
[x] Brown - $100
Total so far: $175
Total so far: $250
Total so far: $350
Total so far: $450
Total so far: $1050
Total so far: $1450
Total so far: $1700
Favorite Colors (multiple):
Did you use a calculator to add it all up?
Final Total: $6675
According to this quiz, I am worth a lot.
But why do it? Because to someone out there who loves me, I am worth the entire Universe. No money can ever show off how much we are really worth. We are all worth so much, it's impossible to count it. We Are The World.
Six truths in life
1. You cannot stick your tongue out and look up at the ceiling at the same time: a physical impossibility
2. All idiots, after reading this will try it
3. And discover that it's a lie
4. You are smiling now because you are an idiot.
5. You will soon post this on your profile for another idiot to see.
6. There is still a stupid smile on your face.
This is this cat
This is is cat
This is how cat
This is to cat
This is keep cat
This is an cat
This is idiot cat
This is busy cat
This is for cat
This is forty cat
This is seconds cat
Now read the THIRD word of every line.
Copy and Paste this into your profile if you laughed at this and think it's quite smart.
COPY AND PASTE THIS IN YOUR PROFILE IF YOU THINK THAT MICHAEL JACKSON IS THE BEST SINGER IN THE WORLD AND HISTORY!
I wrote your name in the sky, but the wind blew it away.
I wrote your name in the sand, but the waves washed it away.
So I wrote your name in my heart, and forever it will stay.
101 Ways to Tell if You are Obsessed With Michael Jackson (Not mine! Dx)
1. You write "Love" as L.O.V.E.
2. The term "Wacko Jacko" makes you cringe.
3. You HATE most, if not ALL of the following: Martin Bashir, Conrad Murray, Diane Diamond, and Tom Sneddon
4. Neverland does not make you think of Peter Pan.
5. When someone says the names Evan or Gavin, you instinctively scream, "MICHAEL IS INNOCENT!!"
6. You know who "They" are in the song "They Don't Really Care About Us"
7. Moonwalker is not just someone who can do the moonwalk...
8. You have used "Michael" not only as a noun, but also as a verb or adjective.
9. You have substituted OMJ for OMG before.
10. When someone talks to you about Prince, you have to ask "Which one?"
11. You can name all the Jackson siblings in order of birth.
12. Paris is not a city in France.
13. When you hear about "Gary, Indiana" you don't think of it as an industrial city outside of Chicago.
14. Things such as Mickey Mouse, the colour red, sequins, zombies, and friendship bracelets remind you of Michael.
15. You refer to him mainly as Michael, Mike, MJ, or Mikey. But rarely as his full name, Michael Jackson.
16. You know who the following people are and how they relate to Michael: Diana Ross, Lisa Marie Presley, Deborah Brazil, David Walgren, Edward Chernoff, Michael Flanagan, Elizabeth Taylor, Frank DiLeo, Debbie Rowe, and Macauly Culkin.
17. Elvis is not who you think of when you hear "the king."
18. Gold pants make you smile.
19. You don't see anything wrong with a 9-year old being called Blanket.
20. You DO know his real name is NOT Blanket.
21. You often finish people's sentences with MJ song titles/quotes (i.e. "I just can't—" "STOP LOVING YOU!!")
22. You make Michael Jackson references that nobody else understands…
23. You Can't Help It if you make Bad/corny sentences using a Thriller amount of song titles by the Man in the Mirror. In fact, it's an Unbreakable habit you find yourself exposing On the Line often. (But hey, that's just Human Nature, right? ;) )
24. You don't just LISTEN to Michael Jackson, but you find yourself dressing and acting like him, and even STUDYING him.
25. You know who/what #FLANAZAPAM is/represents.
26. You try to avoid planning events on June 25th and August 29th.
27. You know MJ was a vegetarian.
28. You know MJ loved to eat KFC.
29. You also understand how the last two reasons work together even though they seem contradictory. LOL
30. You see nothing wrong with someone having an amusement park and zoo in their back yard.
31. You know the real word in "Bad" is SHAMONE and that NSYNC just screwed it up.
32. You discovered Eddie Murphy could sing because he did a song with Michael.
33. Instead of asking someone "What's up?" you ask "Wazupwitu?"
34. You know what PPB means.
35. You know who Captain EO is.
36. You actually understand what's going on in the Smooth Criminal music video.
37. You are fluent in Jacksonese.
38. You often incorporate Michael into your school work.
39. If you have a twitter, you're following almost every Jackson Family member that has an account.
40. There is at least one MJ song that makes you cry.
41. You write History as HIStory.
42. Your idea of an educational song is "ABC".
43. You know who's name is REALLY being said in D.S. (And no, it's not Don Sheldon)
44. You believe Flanagan is secretly a double agent.
45. You know how many plastic surgeries MJ has REALLY had.
46. You know what the worlds most sold album is.
47. You own a copy of it :3
48. You have at least ATTEMPTED to dance like MJ.
49. You think you can moonwalk (even if you can't). (I actually can Moonwalk XD)
50. You know how MJ did the 45degree lean.
51. You proved this to yourself by actually trying…
52. You are a member of, or have at least HEARD of MJJC.
53. You had seen nearly everything in the first half of "Moonwalker" before you ever actually watched the film.
54. You HAVE watched the film. XD
55. You know that Michael really has TWO video games.
56. You can list all of Michael's favorite colors.
57. You can say WHY they're his favorite colors.
58. You've heard of Los Olivos, CA.
59. You've also heard of Encino, CA.
60. You blame Joe Jackson and/or the media for many of Michael's problems.
61. You deny Michael had any problems.
62. You often type "hehe" in place of "haha"
63. You have inside jokes somehow related to Michael.
64. You own at LEAST $75 worth of MJ related stuff.
65. You just added up the price of all your MJ things and shocked yourself on how much you've spent over the years…
66. You have attempted to dress like MJ before.
67. You know what abbreviations such as BTM, BotDF, J5, PPB, CM, LNFSG, and LOVE stand for.
68. You find nothing wrong with someone having a pet monkey, llama, or boa constrictor.
69. You have known Murray was guilty since June 25th, 2009.
70. You know the air-chamber rumors were faked.
71. You understand the Leave Me Alone video.
72. You were ticked off when Bruno Mars got that grammy in 2010…
73. Military jackets are COOL.
74. There is absolutely nothing wrong with wearing just one glove…
75. You know why MJ's skin was "white"
76. You can also explain to someone why his KIDS appeared white.
77. You have seen "This is It".
78. You have read "MoonWalk".
79. You know the difference between "MoonWalk" and "MoonWalker".
80. You automatically start listening to a conversation after someone says "Michael Jackson".
81. Your response to "I Love you" is either "I love you more" or "I love you most".
82. When someone asks you what time it is, you feel tempted to tell them "It's close to miiidniight…"
83. You have talked to/flirted with/STARED at a poster/picture/video/etc of Michael.
84. You will chew anyone out if they even THINK negative thoughts about Michael in your presence.
85. When someone asks if you're alright, you wonder if Annie is also okay…
86. You frequently visit michaeljackson.com.
87. You agree that Ed Chernoff is a jerk.
88. Whenever someone finds out something about MJ, they always ask you if you've heard about it…
89. 99% of the time you have.
90. The best way for someone to get your attention is to say, "Michael Jackson"
91. You can actually pronounce Flanazapam.
92. You have tried to copy Mike's signature at least once.
93. You get irritated by people who claim to be huge MJ fans and only know "Thriller" and "Billie Jean"…
94. You find yourself relating to Michael in random ways.
95. You know what Vitiligo is.
96. You plan on naming your son Michael one day.
97. You don't understand why Thriller is the best selling album when he has some so much better.
98. You can come up with a Michael Jackson quote for nearly every situation.
99. You know where "Ma ma se ma ma sa ma ma co sa" came from.
100. You know how ALL of these scenarios relate to Michael (Without looking them up.)
101. You laughed uneasily at least once while reading this because you didn't realize you were so obsessed.
Michael Jackson Quotes
If you enter this world knowing you are loved and you leave this world knowing the same, then everything that happens in between can be dealt with.
Let us dream of tomorrow where we can truly love from the soul, and know love as the ultimate truth at the heart of all creation.
You know, let's put it this way, if all the people in Hollywood who have had plastic surgery, if they went on vacation, there wouldn't be a person left in town.
People always told me, 'Be careful what you do,
My goal in life is to give to the world what I was lucky to receive: the ecstasy of divine union through my music and my dance.
Well, they say the sky's the limit, and to me, that's really true.
Lies run sprints, but the truth runs marathons.
In the end, the most important thing is to be true to yourself and those you love and work hard. Work like there’s no tomorrow. Train. Strive. Really train and cultivate your talent to the highest degree. Be the best at what you do. Get to know more about your field than anybody alive. Use the tools of your trade, if it’s books or a floor to dance on or a body of water to swim in. Whatever it is, it’s yours.
The meaning of life is contained in every single expression of life. It is present in the infinity of forms and phenomena that exist in all of creation.
The greatest education in the world is watching the masters at work.
In a world filled with hate, we must still dare to hope. In a world filled with anger, we must still dare to comfort. In a world filled with despair, we must still dare to dream. And in a world filled with distrust, we must still dare to believe.
Favourite PoM Quotes!
"I mean who measures in metric beard lengths?!" Kowalski, Herring Impaired
"Are you kiddin' meh?" Rico, Herring Impaired
"What's this? Amnesia spray, fantastic!" Private, Truth Ache
"Really? So you needed one of your geekatrons to tell you that!" Skipper, LittleFoot
Copy and paste if you ARE REALLY FREAKING EXCITED OVER THE POM MOVIE
THE PENGUINS OF MADAGASCAR 20 QUESTIONS. (copy and paste this in your Profile!)
1) Favorite Pairing?
2) Weirdest Pairing you ship?
Alican! (Alicextrashcan) (bonus points if you remember that episode!)
3) Weirdest Pairing?
Skiphole. (SkipperxBlowhole) Dude. They're mortal enemies!
4) Any O.C's?
5) Horror or Friendship?
6) Mystery or Tragedy?
7) Fluff or angst?
How about both? Because I can write some good stuff for both.
8) Weirdest thing you've ever done?
I have no idea.
9) Introvert or Extrovert?
Both, but more intro.
10) Manfredi or Johnson?
Manfredi. Don't ask why.
11) How'd they die?
They were sent on a mission in Ecuador where they were seduced by two, enemy chinstrap sisters who tried sending them to their death by killing them with an exploding trap disguised as the foot of an elephant (Supposedly their meal), which caused a mudslide and buried them deep in the coast of Ecuador where they tried digging escape tunnels only to reach the river where they were chased by flying pirahnas, attempted to go back, mistook the butt of a whale for one of their escape tunnels, and were unable to speak for months so they instead wrote letters to their team before the chinstrap sisters finally finished them off and sent their remains to where the rest of the letters were addressed to as some sort of sick way into threatening the penguins to not transverse on -Insert evil bad guy's name here-'s lands again.
(It's amazing what you can do with those references. XD)
SPOILER FOR THE PENGUIN WHO LOVED ME: THEY ARE ALIVE!!! :D
12) Favorite Villain?
Officer X. No idea why.
13) Favorite Penguin?
I have no idea, but if I had to do one... Kowalski or Skipper.
14) Favorite Lemur?
16) Opinions on Doris the Dolphin?
Honestly, this girl is kinda like me. :D Also... MY KORIS SHIPPING SIDE IS NOW IN SERIOUS HAPPINESS. *SPOILER FOR THE PENGUIN WHO LOVED ME* THEY. GOT. BACK. TOGETHER. AND. THEY. KISSED.
17) Humanized or Animals?
Animals. THEY RULE!!!
18) Describe the Penguins Humanized. Go!
SKIPPER: Around average height, black buzz cut hair, muscular, Sapphire blue eyes
KOWALSKI: Tall, slim, short black hair. Wears glasses. Blue eyes.
RICO: Above Average Height. Black hair. Mowhawk. Scar on left cheek. Blue eyes.
PRIVATE: Short. Blonde hair. Looks younger than he is. Black hair. Big, baby blue eyes.
19) Your Personality in one word?
20) Did you enjoy this Quizzy thing?
What makes you ask that? Of course I did!
(List some Penguins of Madagascar characters in a random order 1-7)
7. King Julien
1.) So. What would you do if you if your school principal was (2)?
Convince him to get rid of the science and English classes, let us go on military camps, and more recess time! :)
2.) What would you do if you accidentally walked in on (5) taking a shower?
Crack up and take Pics of him...Then post them all over the zoo and watch as the fangirls scream all over him. :D
3.) What would you do if (3) and (7) were in a relationship?
(Private and King Julien)
Oh my gods what the hades happened.
4.) What would you do if (1) and (2) got married?
(Skipper and Marlene)
HOLY MOTHER OF EINSTEIN IT CAME TRUE!!! :DDD I'd be begging Marlene and Skipper to make me the Bridesmaid.
5.) What would you do if (6) randomly woke you up in the morning and started singing a Hannah Montana song?
Grab a pistol and make threats until he shuts up.
6.) What would you do if you saw (1) and (4) kissing?
(Rico and Marlene)
7.) What would you do if (2) made you cookies?
Look at the cookies suspiciously and ask if they're not poisoned or don't taste like his Monkfish Surprise. (bonus points if you can remember what Private described it like.)
8.) What would you do if (5) asked you out?
Doesn't he have Doris?
9.) What would you do if (1), (4), and (6) made a boy band?
(Marlene, Rico and Blowhole)
Things would get interesting the moment they met.
10.) What would you do if (2), (4), and (5) were complete and utter stalkers?
(Skipper, Rico, and Kowalski)
Send a decoy of me for them to follow, and stalk them! :D
11.)What would you do if (5) and (7) were in a mental hospital?
(Kowalski and King Julien)
cracks up* Seems legit if Kowalski was dumb like in the Brain Drain episode. I'd bust them out if they landed there by accident or if it was unnecessary. And get Kowalski smart again.
12.)What would you do if you heard (4) singing Poker Face?
Again, Pistol and threats.
13.)What would you do if (1) proposed to you?
14.)What would you do if (2), (4), and (7) were presidents for different countries?
(Skipper, Rico and King Julien)
Oooh! Convince Skipper to ally with Rico and go against Julien. Possibly create WWIII from that. :D
15.)What would you do if (2) and (3) got married?
(Skipper and Private)
Get the shock of my life and when I've calmed down, feel happy for them.
16.)What would you do if (7) tried to convince you they're a purple rhino?
Believe him and say that makes total sense! :D
17.) What would you do if (3) confided in you of their secret love for (4)?
(Private and Rico)
O.o I'm not a Prico shipper, so... I'd just grin and bear it.
Copy and paste this if you're still waiting for a satyr to show up. And a monster.
Copy and paste this if you're still waiting for four penguins darting around the zoo for stealing a Sno-Cone Truck.
Copy and paste this if you're trying to open a locker that talks to you in your head.
Copy and paste this if you KNOW that the real King Of Pop lives on.
Ships I ship.
Percabeth. (Who doesn't love this?! It's the best thing yet!)
Jasper. (JasonxPiper. YAY)
Frazel. (THEY WERE BORN TO BE TOGETHER!)
Tyella. (So Dam cute! Who doesn't love Tyson and Ella together!)
Caleo. (LeoxCalypso. I ship this so bad. I don't know why. C:)
Traitie. (Oh gods that is cute.)
Thuke. (It's nice, and Luke's Diary has some Thuke in it. But it's sad that this couldn't develop.)
Skilene. (I love this to bits!)
Koris. (OHMYGODSITHAPPENED!!! *SPOILER FOR THE PENGUIN WHO LOVED ME* THEY ARE TOGETHER AND THEY KISSED ON THE LIPS!!! :DDDDD I was squealing so bad. XD)
Rirky. (RicoxMsPerky. It's cute!)
Pripper. (Father and Son type though, it's sweet.)
Zarter. (It's official People!)
Sanubis/Salt. (Guys, why go love triangle when Hathor and Aphrodite/Venus have quit the little love triangle for Sadie?)
Ruby/Julius. (This couple made the most awesome magicians to walk the earth!!!)
Amian. (How Aphrodite loves messing with this couple.)
Natan. (I'm pretty sure Aphrodite has plans to this. If not, Dan Cahill is going to kill me.)
Hamead. (THERE IS A CHANCE I SHIP IT)
Did you know that 98% of teenagers will not stand up for God, and 93% of the people that read this won’t repost it?
Jesus had no servants, yet they called him Master...
He had no degree, yet they called him Teacher...
He had no medicine, yet they called him Healer...
He had no army, yet kings feared him...
He won no military battles, yet he conquered the world...
He committed no crime, yet they crucified Him...
He was buried in a tomb, yet He lives today
Feel honoured to serve such a leader who loves us...
If you believe in the God, Father, Son, and Holy Ghost
then copy and paste this in your profile
If you ignore him, in the Holy Bible, Jesus says...
"If you deny me before man, I will deny you before my Father in Heaven..."
This is a story about God. Read if you believe in him, and read even if you don't.
A teenage girl about 17 named Diane had gone to visit some friends one evening and time passed quickly as each shared their various experiences of the past year. She ended up staying longer than planned, and had to walk home alone. She wasn't afraid because it was a small town and she lived only a few blocks away.
As she walked along under the tall elm trees, Diane asked God to keep her safe from harm and danger. When she reached the alley, which was a short cut to her house, she decided to take it. However, halfway down the alley she noticed a man standing at the end as though he were waiting for her. She became uneasy and began to pray, asking for God's protection. Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness and security wrapped round her, she felt as though someone was walking with her. When she reached the end of the alley, she walked right past the man and arrived home safely.
The following day, she read in the newspaper that a young girl had been raped in the same alley just twenty minutes after she had been there. Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and the fact that it could have been her, she began to weep. Thanking the Lord for her safety and to help this young woman, she decided to go to the police station. She felt she could recognize the man, so she told them her story. The police asked her if she would be willing to look at a lineup to see if she could identify him. She agreed and immediately pointed out the man she had seen in the alley the night before. When the man was told he had been identified, he immediately broke down and confessed. The officer thanked Diane for her bravery and asked if there was anything they could do for her. She asked if they would ask the man one question. Diane was curious as to why he had not attacked her. When the policeman asked him, he answered, "Because she wasn't alone. She had two tall men walking on either side of her." Amazingly, whether you believe or not, you're never alone. Did you know that 98 of teenagers will not stand up for God, and 93 of the people that read this won’t repost it?
96 percent of teens won't stand up for Christ. If you are one of the 4 percent that will, copy and paste this in your profile.
Without GOD, our week would be:
Repost this if you are not ashamed of GOD.
Seven days without GOD will make one weak.
I believe in Jesus Christ the Lord as my savior and redeemer, and could not live without him in my life. If you do too, and aren't afraid to admit it, copy and paste this into your profile, and add your name to the list. Kakashis-First-Kiss, jedigal125, iloveJacobandJasper, Vampirewithasecret, Lacey-The-Invisible-Ninja, James018, AdorableElephant, MelRose520, I am an Anonymous Person, WingedPurpleBookWorm4Life,FluteFishySmart, Pirate-Spy-Demigod-Wizard,Sweetpanda12,
Repost this if you truly believe in God.
Jesus had no servants, yet they called him Master...