Author has written 3 stories for Aliens/Predator, Animorphs, Teen Titans, Percy Jackson and the Olympians, and Misc. Books.
Hello, I'm Sachmis, or at least that's my screen name.
Name: I answered this already.
Age: [Uninteligable Rune]
Gender, Male or female: Yes, it's one of the two.
Species: [Untranslated Hebrew]
Home: In a castle several hundred miles below the United States.
VOTE: Sheldon Cooper for President!
Decided I should let you know that exists.
'Many [fanfiction] authors appear to have a deep seated hatred of the enter key, and have sworn a blood oath to end its "tyranny".'
I've designated this exact spot for complaining about people complaining to much. Yes I'm a hypocrite. Shut up.
- Lucas Film selling "Star Wars" to Disney:
Yes, "Star Wars" now belongs to the people who brought you "Mickey Mouse," But (as an article I read pointed out) they also made "Pirates of the Caribbean," "The Avengers," and "Saving Private Ryan." A pretty good track record, don't you think?
- Zutara never became official:
When, exactly, was there even a chance that it would become official? I'll tell you: there was a minuscule chances exactly once, for maybe 10 minutes in Season 2. And that was the closest it ever got. Get over it.
Things I Hate About Harry Potter fanfics:
1. Actively Evil Dursleys. Seriously, what's up with this? They were hardly good people in the books, but in fanfiction they tend to be actively evil.
I get the sense that the whole thing is basically predicated on the line "Any funny business, any at all, and you won't have any meals for a week." Now I know we can all agree that this is not something to ever say to a child, but if you look at the full context it isn't as bad as if this was just brought up day to day without any other context.
Context: 1: it's Dudley's birthday, as such you can expect a little less leniency from them on unusual behavior. Not right, but not evil. 2. Harry seems to take this as a legitimate threat rather than Uncle Vernon blowing off steam, as such it corolates to actual consequences (or has in the past), however, based on the fact that Harry is obviously still alive and functioning, it must not be literally no food for a week. More likely it's reduced food for a week. But seeing as Harry will likely be spending that week primarily in his cupboard, he won't be useing as meny calories and will thus need less food. Again, this is all wrong, but you'll notice that Harry's life is never put into legitimate danger by the Dursleys.
2. Evil Dumbledore. Sure, I can see it makeing a decent premiss for an AU, but this one is everywhere. What the heck?
3. All the lists people make about the things they hate about Harry Potter Fanfics.
These are things I found on various other people's Profile Pages:
- Do to recent cutbacks, the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off.
- Love your enemies. It'll make 'em crazy.
- Confidence is the feeling you sometimes have before you fully understand the situation.
- If it weren’t for the last minute, nothing would ever get done.
- I used to be indecisive, but now I’m not so sure…
- My imaginary friend thinks that you have some serious problems.
- I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.
- Whoever said nothing is impossible has never tried to slam a revolving door.
- "I’m sick of following my dreams. I’m just going to ask them where they’re going and hook up with them later." –Mitch Hedburg
- "Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing." - Robert Benchley
- "If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions?" - Scott Adams
- A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.
- Just say no to drugs. Because if your drugs are talking to you, you've probably had too many.
- When it rains on my party, I bust out the slip n' slide.
- I had a friend once, but then the rope broke and he got away.
- You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder.
- Some see the glass half full, some see it half empty. Me? I just want to know who the heck is drinking my dang coffee.
- We live in an age where pizza gets to your house before the police do.
- Apparently 1 in 5 people are Chinese. There are five people in my family so it must be one of them. It's ether my mum or dad. Or my older brother Will. Or my younger brother Ho-chan-chu. But I think it's Will.
- It takes 47 muscles to frown, 17 to smile but it doesn't take any to sit there with a dumb look on your face.
- Today, I thought about the phrase "revenge is sweet" and then thought about the phrase, "revenge is a dish best served cold." I have now come to the conclusion that revenge is ice cream.
- A recent survey stated that the average person's greatest fear is having to give a speech in public. Somehow this ranked even higher than death which was third on the list. So, you're telling me that at a funeral, most people would rather be the guy in the coffin than have to stand up and give a eulogy.
- If you consider yourself a WRITER rather than just an AUTHOR, put this in your profile. Writers put emotion into their work. Authors do it for the money.
- You can't buy happiness, but you can buy ice cream, and they're pretty much the same thing.
- If you are a serial killer, GET THE HECK AWAY FROM ME. If you are a cereal killer, GET THE HECK AWAY FROM MY FRUIT LOOPS.
- If you only break for falling Jedi masters, I congratulate you.
- Why is it when some products you have to turn it upside down to read the directions, and the directions say do not turn upside down?
- A loser is a window washer on the 44th floor who steps back to admire his work.
- Why do all superheroes wear spandex? Do they provide more lift or something?
- Well the voices and I took a vote. It's unanimous: You suck.
- A rabbi, a priest, and a duck walked into a bar. The bartender looked up and said, "What is this? A joke?"
- A rejected invention: Instant water! Just add water!
- Don't ever attempt a staring contest with a brick wall, they cheat a lot.
- A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
- A positive attitude may not solve all of your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.
- Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.
- When in doubt, push random buttons!
- There's always a light at the end of the tunnel. Of course, it's usually an oncoming express train.
- Last night I was looking up at the stars when suddenly I wondered..."Dude, where's my ceiling?"
- There are three kinds of people. Those who learn by reading, a few who learn by observation, and the rest who have to test the electric fence for themselves.
- Always take the time to smell the roses...and sooner or later you'll inhale a bee.
- Canaries are the best, especially with ketchup on them.
- Accept that some days you are the pigeon, and some days you are the statue.
- Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
- One day, we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject.
- If you don't like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk.
- Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
- When it comes to returning emails, I only have two speeds: within 3 seconds or within 3 months.
- Spongebob: “Can you hear me?” Patrick: “No, it’s too dark.”
- There are the same number of people on Facebook today as there were people in the whole world in 1804.
- Anybody else just lay in bed at night, imagining perfect moments in life that will never happen?
- When asked “What’s Up” respond “A delightful animated film about a young boy and an old man who fly away to an exotic place in a balloon house.”
- That awkward moment when you leave a store without buying anything and all you can think is: “Act natural, you’re innocent.”
- When I die, I want My body to be thrown out of a plane wearing a Superman costume.
- I want to be rich enough to realize that I can’t buy happiness.
- When I visit a friend who greets me with “make yourself at home”, I kick him out of the house because I hate visitors.
- Unless life also hands you water and sugar, that lemonade is gonna suck.
- I don’t need a brain.. I have a little thing called “GOOGLE”
- Saying “I’m almost there”, when you actually haven’t even left the house.
- That awkward moment when someone takes your sarcasm seriously.
- When I was kid, werewolves and vampires were scary. Now everyone wants to date them.
- When I’m at a restaurant I like to ask the waiter, “What’s your most frequently photographed entree?”
- Stages of beard length: 1.) sexy stubble 2.) sea captain 3.) prisoner of war 4.) homeless person 5.) wizard
- My goal is to be just the right amount of crazy to make everyone else doubt their sanity.
- Women spend more time thinking about what men think than men actually spend thinking.
- Today is the first day of the rest of your life. Of course, now your life will be shorter than it was yesterday. Way to waste yesterday jerk!
- I spent yesterday painting some kick ass flames on a car. I bet whoever owns it was stoked when they came out of the mall.
- When someone yells stop, I don’t know if it’s in the name of love, it’s hammer time, or if I should collaborate and listen.
- I’ll leave 1,000 dollars in my will to the person comes to my funeral dressed in the Scream outfit and doesn’t say a word.
- At least once in your life, we’ve all tried to balance the light switch between the On and Off position.
- Nicknames are WAY more fun when people don’t know they have them.
- It’s a good thing the fate of mankind doesn’t depend on me turning on the correct stove-top burner on my first try
- It’s a good thing I’m not famous. I can’t even stand being recognized by people I DO know when I’m out in public
- A woman’s anger is like a check engine light; there’s no pleasant way to determine what caused it, so just ignore it and hope it goes away
- Life has no remote. Get up and change it yourself.
- I use my birthday as an excuse to do whatever I want. So basically it’s just like every other day, except with presents
- When you were a kid there was nothing more satisfying as when you made the honking signal to the truck driver and he honked back
- If I’m not supposed to eat late night snacks, then explain why the fridge has a light?
- Genies won’t let you wish for more wishes. Solution: Wish for more Genies
- If you have to suck in your gut to see the numbers on the scale, you don’t want to see the numbers on the scale
- They’re called scents, not flavors, I should NOT be able to taste your perfume or cologne.
- It’s very important that EVERYONE gets a flu shot this year so I don’t have to.
- That awesome moment when the person you miss randomly texts you.
- I never run with scissors. (those last two words were unnecessary.)
- My keyboard needs a removable crumb tray like my toaster
- So many good trailers; so few good movies
- Somebody needs to invent an alarm clock that releases the smell of bacon.
- It never ceases to amaze me that the little space between the driver’s seat and the center console in my car will fit any object that can possibly be dropped, but will not fit a hand.
- Taking soap and shampoo from hotels doesn’t make me cheap. Regifting them does.
- Whenever someone says they did something, “like a boss,” I assume that means they didn’t do it at all and are merely taking credit for it.
- There is nothing more unconditional than the love given by a child who is trying to get ungrounded.
- If I ever put stuff in storage I’m going to write “gold bars” and “priceless memorabilia” on the boxes just to mess with storage wars
- When I see a cute couple making out I yell, ”I knew you’re seeing somebody else!” and run crying.
- It’s always a special moment when you finally get to hear those three words you’ve been waiting for…. “Your order’s ready.”
- I feel pretty confident that if anyone ever steals my identity, they will inevitably improve my credit score.
- Fast way to MESS up someones Knock Knock joke? “It’s open.”
- No smartphones for my kids. They need to suffer years of fleeting, awkward eye contact with strangers like I did.
- It never feels right cursing in front of your parents.
- Our kids will never know the terror of calling their crush on a landline and having their parents answer the phone.
- It’s too hot for covers, but I can’t sleep without the feeling of them on me.
- I went for a run but came back home after 2 minutes because I forgot something. I forgot that I’m fat and I can’t run for more than 2 minutes.
- I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather… Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
- I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
- You're never too old to learn something stupid.
- When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.
- Every now and then I like to do as I'm told, just to confuse people.
- Whatever women do they must do it twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily this is not difficult.
- Half of the American people have never read a newspaper. Half have never voted for president. One hopes it is the same half.
- Everyone has his day and some days last longer than others.
- When I eventually met Mr right, I had no idea that his first name was always.
- History will be kind to me for I intend to write it.
- I never make stupid mistakes. Only very very clever ones.
- When all else fails read the instructions. When all else fails and the instructions are missing, kick it.
- When science finally locates the centre of the universe some people will be surprised to learn that they're not it.
Lunkwill: Do you...
- Smoking kills. If you're killed you've lost a very important part of your life.
- I read the newspapers avidly. It is my one form of continuous fiction.
- If absolute power corrupts then where does that leave god?
- I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally. - WC Fields.
- I'm gonna live forever, or die trying.
Here, I have a list of things I'd like to see on this site. If you make one, please shoot me a PM and let me know.
Just to be clear, take anything on this list and use it in your work: I just want to know if you do.
EDIT: I'm probably going to make a forum for this stuff instead at some point.
• Raven Roth (Teen Titans) & Hellboy (Hellboy) featuring prominently in the same fanfic.
- Raven arriving in Hellboy's world when she left Azarath, instead of Jump City.
- Raven squares off against Hellboy. (perhaps they both arrived in a Post-Apocalyptic hell-scape independently and both made the understandable guess that the other was responsible.)
• Wednesday Addams goes to Hogwarts. That's it. I just want Wednesday as a student of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.
• Elphaba/The Wicked Witch of the West (Wicked) & Harry Potter featureing prominently in the same fanfic. Not to much to ask, is it?
• Hulk (Marvel) vs. Doomsday (DC). I'd prefer it to be Hulk (MCU) and Doomsday (DC Comics in general) but I'm not picky.
You'd probably like to know more about my fics so, here the are.
Posted and in Progress:
The Xenomorph Colony
This is my first fanfic, although I've been thinking of doing one for years. It is a crossover (my favorite kind of fanfic) between the Camp Half-Blood Series and Alien. It is still in progress so I'll just say it's coming along nicely.
The Arthropian Chronicles
This is a fanfic I've been working out for awhile. It's a crossover between Animorphs and probably my favorite single book ever, Fragment by Warren Fahy. It's still in the early stages, so I won't say much. On Hiatus.
Raven the Vampire
Self explanatory so far. This is a Teen Titans fanfic where Raven becomes a vampire and struggles with retaining her humanity.
In the Works:
Finding Your Dæmon
This is a Camp Half-Blood Series and His Dark Materials crossover. To early to say much, but I promise Lyra will be a feature character. So far, I'm planning to start her off in Chapter two or three. The title is subject to change.
Hazel Potter, The Dathomirian Nightsister
The title says it all.
Quoth the Raven
This is a Teen Titans Fanfiction. The main plot picks up around chapter three/four. In this fanfic, Raven is split into her Emoticlones once more, leaving her comatose. The Titans must find all the Ravens to bring her back. This Fanfiction references the comic Pieces of Me, however, you don't have to read it to understand. The title is subject to change.
Untitled Marvel/DC Crossover
Inspired by a picture I saw on Deviantart, this is a fic about the two children of Deadpool (616) and Harley Quinn (DCAU). It will stretch across three dimensions: The DCAU, Marvel 616, and an amalgam dimension with The Batman, Teen Titans, and maybe Legion of Superheroes. Forth Wall breaking is a given. The title is subject to existing.
Untitled Star Wars Fanfic
This one is big. Right now, it looks like it'll be a series of Fanfics. It will almost defiantly crossover with Animorphs eventually, and probably Artemis Fowl as well.
It starts out during the last days of the Republic. A young Jedi padawan, thought to be the last of his/her race, has a vision. According to the vision, the answer to saving his/her species, the Grachtka, lay in the star system they had evolved in. The problem: the star system in question was deep in uncharted space. The only known ships able to reach it were built by the Grachtka. Then the real plot starts up. The title is subject to existing.
Meny of the details for this fic are being held until the conclusion of Star Wars: The Clone Wars.
This is a major crossover I've got bouncing around my head. I intend for it to include Animorphs, Avatar: the Last Airbender, the Camp Half-Blood Series, Teen Titans, and probably a few more. The title is subject to existing.
If you want to see some of the fics that are "In the Works" sooner, PM me and let me know. Also, I'm far more likely to continue Fanfics if I get reviews!
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