Author has written 8 stories for Katekyo Hitman Reborn!, Ghost Hunt, Shugo Chara!, and Naruto.
"A bird doesn't sing because it has an answer,
It sings because it has a song."
A warm welcome to those whom are currently on my profile
I am sincerely sorry for not updating any of my stories for a while
( a while my ass it's been nearly two years) but unfortunately I would not be updating any time soon for I have lack inspiration of writing/ typing and my computer messing with the saved documents.
I swear my computer is a troll.
Once again, I am sorry but thank you for reading :3
What my mother taught me:
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."
2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"
4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why.
5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."
7. My mother taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about."
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck?"
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."
11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"
13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"
15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."
16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."
17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"
18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."
19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"
20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don’t come running to me."
21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."
22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"
24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."
25. My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"
Messages to the Rest of the World:
Dear Elementary School Kids,
If you can't spell the word "RELATIONSHIP," clearly you aren't old enough to have one.
Sincerely, The World
Next time I try to be cute for your birthday and make you a coupon for anything you want, please consider your options more thoughtfully…
Sincerely, Here's Your Sandwich
I know when you're texting.
Sincerely, No One Just Looks Down At Their Crotch and Smiles (aka Teachers)
I can make your girlfriend scream louder than you can!
So I hear the best rapper is white and the president is black? WTF happened?!
Dear Windshield Wipers,
Can't touch this.
Sincerely, That Little Triangle
Just wait, one day they'll abandon you as well.
Dear Rubik's Cube,
Dear Boys Wearing Skinny Jeans,
I. Can't. Breathe.
Sincerely, Your Balls
If you doomed the entire human race for an apple… What would you have done for a Klondike Bar?
Cover me. I'm going in.
You live in Bikini Bottom and you're super absorbent?
Sincerely, You're a Tampon.
Dear "I Slept Like a Baby,”
So, you woke up every two hours, screaming because you crapped your pants and needed to be fed?
Sincerely, Your Family Must HATE You!