CodependentLiza
hide bio
PM . Follow . Favorite
Joined 06-02-12, id: 4033818, Profile Updated: 08-29-12
Author has written 15 stories for Twilight, and Fifty Shades Trilogy.

Hello, Twilight fanfic readers!

Oh my gosh, I've hit a new level of development--I'm editing something I've already published! Normally, I never look back at what I send out into the world (yes, that makes writing new chapters difficult), too afraid I'll find something shameful in it.

But thanks to the kind and supportive response I've had on here so far (at least as far as I've dared to look), and to the wise voice within (you know, the only part of me that's aging well) that keeps telling me to speak my truth because there may be others that need to hear it, and to be honest so that someone else might see that I think like them, act like them, dream like them, and am not ashamed of it (most of the time)...well, here I am! Editing.

So what's important to know about me?

-I'm terrified of you. No offense. It's nothing you've done (obviously), but the result of previous rejection by important people paired with an amygdala (emotion-generating brain structure) the size of a grapefruit. (FYI, that's not normal.) I call myself a "high-feeler," because as an adult I've discovered that not everyone feels things to the same degree! It only makes sense, right, but I can't tell you what a relief it was to have the insight that part of why I'm more fearful, sad, and depressed than other people is because I simply feel more, and more strongly, than they do. The good news is that I get to feel all the good stuff more strongly too...

-Which also makes me very affectionate! Send me love and I'll adore you right back. I'm doing it right now--if loving intentions really do travel across time and space, you've got some coming at you--watch out! (I'll try not to slobber.)

-I'm wordy, and I believe strongly in including emotional context with my stories so that if they're being used as pain-relieving drugs (believe me, Twilight fanfiction is "my own personal brand of heroin," or maybe morphine, since I've never had the intense pleasure, or pain-relief, of calling an Edward my own), there is at least a warning statement and some good advice about how to maximize their positive effect and minimize the bad ones.

If you find my author notes preachy or too long, feel free to scroll down past the bold type. I'm glad if you don't want to read what I have to say there, because maybe that means you're not hurting (or you think I'm an idiot; that's okay too). When I write my author's notes, I'm often writing to my past selves, the ones that are just barely holding on and looking desperately for ways to survive the pain. I hope the notes help somebody else out there, and I thank you all for humoring me. (They make current-me feel better too.)

Now, about what we do on here... Yes, it's entertainment, and a really cool way to virtually-connect with other people leading lives you never would have known about otherwise. But I also have found reading others' and writing my own variations on the Twilight themes leads to all sorts of psychological insights, and great intellectual and spiritual satisfaction. I think the key is not just enjoying what you read or write, but asking yourself why you enjoy it. (This is not the same "WHY?" that you may get from partners, friends or family members not initiated into the joys of Twilight or fanfiction.)

The other suggestion I have is to definitely try writing your own. One of the easiest approaches is to take a scenario that is extremely appealing to you, then tweak it in your mind until it's even better. Or, take a miserable situation and fix it! It starts to be a habit, doing this mental re-arranging, and I'm finding it's one habit that makes my life happier, and more effective. Good grief! Who knew that was possible? (Okay, there is a caveat: this has only been true after going through extensive grieving over how my life will never resemble my version of a happy-ending Twilight story...more on grieving some other night. Maybe I'll write a fanfiction about it. :) Come to think of it, my poor husband has probably written a few of his own... "How to Survive When Bella Loses All Perspective" maybe, or "Why Edward Should Have Run Off with Jacob and Saved Himself a Lot of Angst." I'll search later and see.)

One thing I won't edit is my enormous "Thank you!!" with lots of love to:

-Rebecca, for telling me to do it, and being such an excellent dominant Edward proxy in my life that I actually followed through, and then for telling me (true or not) that I did it well.

-Justine, for suggesting that maybe my inability to stop reading Twilight/Twilight fanfiction indicated a deeply-felt need to be explored rather than a serious character flaw. (Feel free to disagree, dear Reader, but please don't tell me about it.)

-MollyT and MD (you know who you are) for telling me there is nothing wrong with me, but merely with the fit between me and the family/culture/social setting around me. To not feel alone in one's suffering, and to be relieved of the burden of the idea that it might be sef-inflicted or imagined, is unspeakably liberating, beyond marvelous, sanity-creating, irreplaceable, invaluable, and sometimes intoxicating in the best possible way.

-Rev. B. for introducing me to the concept of grieving beyond the realm of funerals.

-ARomanticidalEdwardian for satisfying my intense desire to "see" the consummation of Edward and Bella's love and thereby introducing me most happily to the world of fanfiction; angstgoddess03 and hunterhunting for giving me a tantalizing taste of rescue fantasies, Twilight style; and IceDragonSnowqueens (Icy, anybody? I never could get her screen name right) for introducing me to...well, that's for a mature audience, folks.

-D and R for loving me in spite of myself, and H and B for adoring me anyway.

-Tonya, Kristin, Beth and Molly for being friends that are more like sisters, except that we don't have to fight over who gets Aunt Cora's wedding silver. I wouldn't be me without you, and I sure wouldn't be posting here.

-And last but not least, Stephenie Meyer, for having the courage to send Twilight out into the world, and the enormous generosity to share it with all of us in ways that help and heal. And entertain and enlighten. And occasionally frustrate in the best possible ways.

So here are my first FanFiction forays, and the second, third and fourth too. I still haven't read my reviews, but I'm gratified to have them, and plan to get over myself and read them soon--just as soon as I find the right set of armor for the job...no emotional barrier between me and other people, remember? (If you have this difficulty too and can make a recommendation, please message me. I've found that vibranium--Star Trek armor, according to my son--works really well for repelling all negativity while coaching soccer with little kids. And their parents.) Yes, the armor is only metaphorical, but it works better if you put a little thought and creativity into it. Try it sometime.

Thanks to those of you who take the time to offer feedback, and support. I appreciate you!

Just a reminder, MY BELLAS ARE PASSIVE ON PURPOSE! Yes, partly that's because I'm working out my own angst, and using Bella to present an ideal version of a general, prototypical me that never did or could really exist but that still gives me profound satisfaction in transforming the neglect, misunderstanding and derision I experienced into the adoration, celebration and rightness Bella gets to have. Mm-mmm, it feels good!

But more importantly, my Bellas are needy and dependent and clueless in the ways of societal survival in order to argue for and demonstrate the value of nonaggression; of relational rather than rational cognition and perception; and of acting from a desire for communal well-being, rather than for individual achievement. This is not an argument based on good vs. evil, right vs. wrong, but on a conception of the beauty and utility of a yin-and-yang (or rational-and-emotional, relational-and-objective) balance in life.

As someone who's always yanged when she was supposed to yin, much emphasis and repetition on these points has been required in my fanfiction writing in order to restore peace and well-being to the galaxy of my brain. You have been warned.

If you find yourself in my Bellas too, please feel free to tell me so. I'd love to hear from you (though it might take me an obscenely long time to write back). Peace and blessings to you all!

xo Liza

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

The Babysitter by plummy reviews
Everybody said Rose was perfect for me, and this weekend I was going to find out if it was true. That was the plan, until I met her sister.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 35,055 - Reviews: 727 - Favs: 1,652 - Follows: 2,154 - Updated: 7/17/2014 - Published: 6/29/2012 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Prey for the Wicked by Aleeab4u reviews
A vampire finds the true meaning of temptation, an innocent beauty with a siren's blood. Need and curiosity ignite endless possibility, but is she prey for the wicked or the answer to a prayer for salvation? When obsession has no reason and love knows no bounds, where do you draw the line? AU E/B Darkward Mature themes. Non-canon vampires. No sparkling, vegetarianism or venom.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Suspense/Romance - Chapters: 22 - Words: 154,292 - Reviews: 2425 - Favs: 1,680 - Follows: 1,978 - Updated: 4/17/2014 - Published: 2/28/2011 - Edward, Bella
Penalty Shot by Edward's Eternal reviews
Recently divorced, Bella struggles to find a new life for her and her son Jake. Enter Edward and his son, Emmett. Used to being alone, finding Bella is an unexpected surprise for Edward. Blending their lives together sometimes requires an extra shot on goal to even things up. A simple, heartwarming story of two single parents finding love again, healing and building a new family.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 39 - Words: 93,019 - Reviews: 8683 - Favs: 3,319 - Follows: 2,937 - Updated: 8/28/2013 - Published: 4/14/2013 - Bella, Edward - Complete
The Cullen Enterprise by Amethyst Jackson reviews
ALL HUMAN: Bella has no idea how she's going to continue supporting herself and her recovering father on her meager income…until a certain CEO waltzes in with an offer she can't refuse.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 25 - Words: 48,680 - Reviews: 4540 - Favs: 3,290 - Follows: 4,776 - Updated: 5/5/2013 - Published: 9/22/2012 - Bella, Edward
Hardcover Paranormal Romance by badjujube reviews
Edward has an issue with Bella Swan that can't be found in the employee handbook. AU, goofy. Complete.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 19 - Words: 41,720 - Reviews: 2013 - Favs: 1,193 - Follows: 1,202 - Updated: 11/12/2012 - Published: 2/11/2012 - Bella, Edward - Complete
My Dark Knight by kbarietnnan reviews
Bella is on the streets, hiding from an awful past. Could a chance collision literally change her life? No? How about two then? Rated M for language, situations, and lemons in later chapters.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 5 - Words: 4,101 - Reviews: 27 - Favs: 26 - Follows: 38 - Updated: 11/7/2012 - Published: 2/8/2011 - Bella, Edward
How to Paint a House by Maggie's Gutter reviews
Bella Swan is a naive fifteen year old, set to spend another kiss-less summer alone. Edward is new to town, and doesn't know a soul. Watch an unlikely friendship blossom over the simple task of painting a house. But for these two, nothing is simple.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 26 - Words: 180,346 - Reviews: 6197 - Favs: 4,614 - Follows: 5,343 - Updated: 9/21/2012 - Published: 6/22/2011 - Bella, Edward
Shelter by moirae reviews
Bella never made it to Forks, never met Edward, never fell in love. As a student at Emerson College, she is passionate, smart, and desperately lonely. Until someone catches the scent of his singer on the air . . .
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 21 - Words: 111,351 - Reviews: 783 - Favs: 694 - Follows: 488 - Updated: 7/2/2012 - Published: 4/7/2012 - Bella, Edward - Complete
The Best I Ever Had by WhatsMyNomDePlume reviews
Sex between friends complicates everything. Bella knows this. But she has no idea how much more Edward is going to complicate things.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 14 - Words: 64,919 - Reviews: 7429 - Favs: 10,283 - Follows: 5,770 - Updated: 6/25/2012 - Published: 2/17/2011 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Darkrooms and Safe Light by sleepyvalentina reviews
A vampire who has been dead for decades meets a young woman who hasn't yet begun to live. They could bring each other to life...if he doesn't kill her first. A FGB piece for Katinki.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Drama - Chapters: 18 - Words: 31,615 - Reviews: 1936 - Favs: 957 - Follows: 1,198 - Updated: 6/9/2012 - Published: 6/25/2010 - Edward, Bella
Bonne Foi by Amethyst Jackson reviews
AU. Edward Masen was changed in 1918 and abandoned by his sire. He feeds on human blood, unaware of any other way…until he stumbles across college freshman Bella Swan for a night that will change everything.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 41 - Words: 169,901 - Reviews: 14608 - Favs: 10,542 - Follows: 7,870 - Updated: 5/8/2012 - Published: 11/6/2008 - Edward, Bella - Complete
The Divide by Aleeab4u reviews
Alice's birthday plans for Bella are derailed by their human friends, altering the events of that fateful night in NM. Given a new chance, can Edward and Bella bridge the divide between them? Written for TheCanonTour NM round. AU/canon E/B
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 23,082 - Reviews: 129 - Favs: 144 - Follows: 78 - Updated: 4/11/2012 - Published: 2/14/2012 - Bella, Edward - Complete
The Night Before by evieeden reviews
What if the first time Bella dreamed of Edward she wasn’t really dreaming. Would their growing relationship be tainted by what had already occured? Based on the ‘that was the first night I dreamed of Edward Cullen’ deleted scene on the Twilight DVD.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 11 - Words: 56,017 - Reviews: 340 - Favs: 542 - Follows: 588 - Updated: 2/21/2012 - Published: 12/16/2009 - Bella, Edward
Red Geraniums by Pastiche Pen reviews
Carlisle Cullen wakes up with a man in his bed. Winner in the Carlward contest. Very "adult." A/H. Slash.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 12,833 - Reviews: 115 - Favs: 356 - Follows: 51 - Published: 4/4/2011 - Edward, Carlisle - Complete
Red Geraniums by CarlWard Contest reviews
Carlisle Cullen wakes up with a man in his bed.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 12,652 - Reviews: 67 - Favs: 110 - Follows: 21 - Published: 2/19/2011 - Carlisle, Edward - Complete
The Bigger They Are by LadyExcalibur2010 reviews
Confirmed bachelor and career soldier, Edward Cullen was perfectly happy with his life. Until a young punk busted his windshield. Suddenly, he finds himself drawn to a beautiful widow with a LOT of baggage- four rambunctious sons. AH/AU - COMPLETE
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 78 - Words: 304,177 - Reviews: 9372 - Favs: 5,238 - Follows: 2,649 - Updated: 1/5/2011 - Published: 6/4/2010 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Little Plastic Castle by Lawn Girl reviews
Even the best built castles sometimes fall. In a coffee shop, in a city...two people struggle to remember how to put those pieces back together.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Drama - Chapters: 14 - Words: 17,171 - Reviews: 983 - Favs: 943 - Follows: 380 - Updated: 12/30/2010 - Published: 11/17/2010 - Edward, Bella - Complete
From The Ashes by FarDareisMai2 reviews
1st Place, 2010 Age of Edward, Literotica. The horrors of Nazi Germany are revealed to a group of stunned American soldiers. When Edward meets a young survivor, can they both salvage their lives from the wreckage of their dreams? Can they find hope again?
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 9,582 - Reviews: 112 - Favs: 241 - Follows: 65 - Published: 10/2/2010 - Edward, Bella
Impromptus by Xaipre reviews
Set post-Twilight. Carlisle and Esme take Edward and Bella to the Symphony for his birthday. While Edward and Bella explore Edward’s past, Carlisle and Esme struggle to understand what impact Bella will have on Edward’s future. Canon. E/B. C/Es.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Family/Angst - Chapters: 8 - Words: 39,377 - Reviews: 102 - Favs: 152 - Follows: 49 - Updated: 12/9/2009 - Published: 11/4/2009 - Carlisle, Edward - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Fifty Shades of Suffering Find the Light reviews
A tender rendition of Twilight painted back over Fifty Shades, with Edward as Christian as Edward and Bella as herself...or as herself as codependentliza always writes her, which is far more self-denigrating, relational, overwhelmed & vulnerable than SM's Bella would ever have dreamed-except in New Moon. Let the unrestrained mutual caretaking begin! AH/AU Twilight canon couples
Crossover - Twilight & Fifty Shades Trilogy - Rated: M - English - Angst/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 4 - Words: 21,924 - Reviews: 25 - Favs: 23 - Follows: 45 - Updated: 5/29 - Published: 2/9 - Bella, Edward
Sharks in the Swimming Pool reviews
Profoundly submissive Bella is assigned to profoundly dominant lab partner Edward in an innovative sex-ed. program that will expand their understanding of the possibilities for romantic partnerships as they negotiate their own. Pushing boundaries of propriety and comfort, they learn to appreciate Bella's vulnerability, Edward's strength, and the gifts their pairing brings. AH/cc's
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Angst/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 11 - Words: 92,084 - Reviews: 138 - Favs: 172 - Follows: 264 - Updated: 11/27/2014 - Published: 8/18/2012 - Bella, Edward
College Rescue reviews
Shy and emotionally-overwhelmed Bella is discovered by kind and gentle, while also self-assured and controlling, Edward. He's studying medicine and chaperoning his cousin Alice, away from home at college, for his religiously-conservative aunt and uncle. Bella is the college student chosen to share Alice's apartment, but she won't be Alice's roomie for long if Edward gets his way.AH
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Angst/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 9 - Words: 64,298 - Reviews: 105 - Favs: 172 - Follows: 280 - Updated: 7/4/2014 - Published: 8/19/2012 - Bella, Edward
Happy Holidays, with Love from Liza reviews
A temporary submission for those struggling like me to hold on through the holidays, & to love the difficult, wounded people we call "family." These are ROUGH drafts, meant only as emotional comfort, and will be pulled after the holidays for clean-up and re-submission. If you haven't read my work before and liked it, please check out one of my other stories first. ExB, cc's
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Angst - Chapters: 3 - Words: 12,734 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 7/4/2014 - Published: 11/29/2013 - Bella, Edward
Nightlife reviews
A collection of story starts organized around the title theme, with bars and crowded dance floors the setting for the chance meetings of protective, dominant Edward and desperate emotional-relational (& very shy-submissive) Bella. Includes "The Commune," continued from a Sharks end-of-chapter teaser, as Chapter 1. EXB, AH, cc's
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Angst - Chapters: 2 - Words: 23,027 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 15 - Published: 5/1/2014 - Bella, Edward
New Moon Re-Do reviews
A different take on the Cullen family's reaction to the paper cut incident at the start of New Moon, operating from the premise that if the Cullens loved Bella the way CodependentLiza wants them to, they never would have left Forks-because Alice wouldn't let them. I know, I know, vampire loyalty trumps all...except love? AU, canon couples
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Angst/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,523 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 8 - Published: 2/22/2014 - Alice, Edward, Jasper, Rosalie - Complete
Good Morning, Sunshine! reviews
Anorexic Bella is brought to the Masen family home in Chicago by a desperate Charlie hoping for advice and assistance from his old friends. Of course, (note the author), who does he find but a willingly-protective Edward missing something in his life that happens to fit just perfectly with what Bella has to offer. ExB eventually, but not romantically while she's underage! AH,cc's
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Angst - Chapters: 2 - Words: 15,708 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 34 - Follows: 53 - Updated: 2/15/2014 - Published: 11/19/2013 - Bella, Edward
Sleeping Beauty reviews
Another one-shot/story beginning from codependent me, involving an unapologetically (and experienced, this time) dominant Edward with a predilection for adult little girls, and the usual emotional vulnerable Bella. The setting? A Vegas hotel lobby. The catch? Bella's reading a certain book-and it isn't Grimms' Fairy Tales. Also Liza's Guide to Enduring Emotional Suffering A/N
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Angst/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 2 - Words: 19,465 - Reviews: 40 - Favs: 83 - Follows: 108 - Updated: 2/3/2014 - Published: 4/12/2013 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Senator Cullen reviews
A submission from Codependent Liza's backlog of story starts meant as a peace offering for the long update delay in Sharks and College Rescue. It's merely one more iteration of extremely-dominant Edward stumbling across extremely-submissive Bella to the enormous relief and future joy of both of them, and everyone around them. You know the drill! (No lemons yet.) AH, AU, CC's ExB
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 14,689 - Reviews: 34 - Favs: 55 - Follows: 94 - Updated: 11/7/2013 - Published: 7/17/2013 - Bella, Edward
First Class reviews
Needy college-student Bella meets successful businessman Edward when she's re-booked into first class after being bumped off an earlier flight. A little turbulence and an oxygen mask or two later, and it's...love at first blush, of course. AH, ExB, one-shot
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Angst/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 2 - Words: 17,969 - Reviews: 35 - Favs: 65 - Follows: 97 - Updated: 10/4/2013 - Published: 8/27/2012 - Bella, Edward
Shield-less Bella reviews
A collection (one to start, more to follow) of Twilight one-shots, re-writing canon to fit a world in which Bella is not a shield, but a sponge. See what Edward & family make of a high-feeling Bella as impaired in self-control as the original Bella was proficient in it, and later (2nd 1-shot) what happens when Rose loves Bella first. Why? Because it feels good, of course! AU,ExB
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 4,982 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 7/16/2013 - Published: 10/24/2012 - Bella, Edward
Protective Guardianship reviews
Codependent Liza at her most codependent! Twenty-something Edward asserts control over former schoolmate and lifelong love Bella (the mother of James's child) in an unconventional way. Sure to be highly offensive to independent types viewing vulnerable need as imagined at best and immoral at worst, but perhaps comforting to those often beset by overwhelming emotional pain. EXB, AH
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 8,207 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 19 - Published: 2/24/2013 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Finding Shelter reviews
Teenaged runaway Bella lands at a youth shelter run by Edward, who orchestrates her foster-care placement into his adoptive parents' home. The age difference makes for a very paternal E/B relationship, although E does dream of more, someday, and B would be happy for him to have it. Is that right or wrong? You decide, as all the usual suspects struggle with that ? too. AH, cc's
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Angst/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,553 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 35 - Published: 9/12/2012 - Bella, Edward
The Interview reviews
Playing with the interview scene from the world's most famous used-to-be Twilight fanfiction, I re-envision what happens when a more shy and passive Bella collides with a less-extreme but still obnoxiously aggressive, in the best possible way, Edward, in his well-appointed office, of course. There is an interview. There is a shocking surprise question. There is...holding. Sigh.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Parody/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,762 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 24 - Follows: 12 - Published: 8/28/2012 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Back Again reviews
A love story grown from Bella's initial death wish and Edward's long-standing anger at God. Begins w/her second visit to his ER, and his rescue attempt that's also a wake-up call to his own arrogance, & misery. Contains refs to suicide attempts. Happy ending guaranteed, though it won't be easy getting there because life is hard, even for Edward-Bella. But not too hard! AH,cc's
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Angst/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,859 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 9 - Published: 8/26/2012 - Bella, Edward