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Author has written 4 stories for Game of Thrones, Mass Effect, Harry Potter, One Piece, and Lord of the Rings.
Rule 1. (this rule applies to all my fics): You can read the plot, you can smell the plot, you can touch the plot, u can even lick the plot, but under no circumstances are you allowed to complain about the plot. I do not care how you would have done it, how it could have been better, how many holes it has, I do NOT care if you like it or not. If you like it good for you please continue to read my story/ies and enjoy, but if you don't get the hell away from my story. I am not forcing you to click on it, to read it or even to like it. My stories are not dicks and I am not a rapist who is trying to force them down your throat. If you don't like it fuck off and find one you like...Have a nice day :)
In case of any complaints or arguments against my logic please go here so you can see my reply to you: https: // s-media-cache-ak0. pinimg. com/736x/38/ca/9d/ 38ca9dfb3db474d1bf736358362659a1. jpg
Beta: http: //steamcommunity. com/id/zombie-ovaries/
If anyone has a problem with my ships: here is my response.
( ) single
( ) in a relationship
( ) married
( ) engaged
( ) divorced
(X) waiting for a miracle
Weekend with humanity:
That one time I met a hobbit:
Personal musings and the like:
It is a weird name okay? In most languages they are called ananas or something similar. Was the first English (wo)man to see the pineapple like: "Hmm, what a weird fruit. It looks kind of like a pinecone but it is a fruit. How should I name it? Something to do with pinecones and fruit. Pinefruit? No, too obvious. Pinepear? Nah. Pearcone? No. Fruitcone? Nah, that sounds like ice-cream. Maybe a different fruit. An apple? Pineapple? Yes! That sounds amazing. I shall name this fruit PINEAPPLE." "Steven the locals call it ananas and I heard a few people speak about this ananas before so why not just name it ananas? We can spell it like annanas or something so it doesn't seem like we are copying them." "Silence, Bob. Your common mind can not comprehend the potential that the name pineapple has. We shall not be like the common folk below us and call this fruit ananas for it is pineapple as it looks like a pinecone jet is a fruit." And so the fruit was named pineapple. It could have happened like that you don't Know.
Don’t like gay marriages? Don’t get one.
I agree with this. Why? I honestly do not care what you do in your four walls. I am against Gay parades because I just find them stupid. Yeah you are gay and it is okay, but there is absolutely no need for you to go and wave it around. Not because it makes people uncomfortable, but because it does not make you equal with straight people. You keep screaming about wanting to be equal with other people but how is it equal when you get a parade and we don’t. How is it equal when we don’t go around screaming through the streets and you do? Be gay, but don’t shove it into people’s faces it makes some of them hate you even more.
Don’t like abortions? Don’t get one.
Agreed. Why? A man produces 85 million sperm cells A DAY, while a woman with a regular circle produces about 12 egg cells a year. When we do the math we see that a man produces about 310 250 000 000 000 a year which is about 3 723 000 000 000 000 000 possible combinations for one couple during one year. So should we feel bad that none of those kids are born. The answer is no. And besides there are a lot more facts you must take into consideration. What if the woman was raped? Would you really want her to mother a child she did not want and was practically forced upon her? What if she can’t afford a child? Maybe she already has about five kids; maybe she just doesn’t have the money. What if it is born only to starve to death? It would be easier to end it before it even starts, before the baby is even aware of the world around it then let it suffer for days on end. What if the mother is desperate to get rid of it and leaves it somewhere out on the cold and it freezes or gets sick and then slowly dies in agony. And then why let some women do the abortion but others not? The point is that not every life can be saved so it is sometimes easier to just end it before it starts to hurt.
Don’t like drugs? Don’t do them.
I agree whole heartedly. Why? If you don’t wish to ruin your life don’t but if someone wants to ruin theirs let them. It is their choice. Sure try talking them out of it but if it doesn’t work don’t force it. And this brings me to the charity for the drug addicts. I simply refuse to give any money for those of them that are trying to quit. You must think I am heartless but hear me out. The chances of them actually quitting are about 95% and that is if they want to quit more than they want to breathe. And besides that money could be used for better purposes. For food for hungry, for water for thirsty, homes for homeless, drugs for the sick and clothes for the naked. The fact is that those kids had the money for the drugs but don’t have it to quit, bull-fucking-shit. I just have priorities and that is if you make a mistake live with it. Everyone is saying how bad the drugs are if you are too stupid to go against it then you deserve it. There are a lot of people who did not have the choice and yet they live with it, fuck some of them smile. Just no, not even a cent.
You may agree, you may not, either way I couldn’t care less that is just my opinion. You had a choice of reading it so it is not like I showed it in your face. Anyway feel free to PM me if you wish to discuss some of these, I said discuss not call me a bitch and a moron. And that means giving valid arguments. Not using caps lock to curse and threaten me.
Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hogwarts:
1) The Giant Squid is not an appropriate date to the Yule Ball.
2) I am not allowed to sing, "We're Off to See the Wizard" while skipping off to the Headmaster's office.
3) I am not allowed to take out a life insurance policy on Harry Potter.
4) I am not allowed to ask Dumbledore to show me the pointy hat trick.
5) I am not allowed to give Remus Lupin a flea collar.
6) I am not allowed to bring a Magic 8 Ball to Divination.
7) I am not allowed to say that Seamus Finnegan is "after me lucky charms."
8) I am not allowed to start a betting pool on this years Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. It's taste-less, tacky, and not a good money-making strategy.
9) I am not allowed to joke about Remus' "time of the month."
10) I am not allowed to make light saber sounds with my wand.
12) I am not to refer to the Accio charm as "The Force."
13) I am not allowed to claim that growing marijuana or hallucinogenic mushrooms is "Extra Herbology Work."
14) I will not use my socks to make hand-puppets of the Slytherin-House mascot.
15) If the thought of a spell makes me giggle for more than 15 seconds, assume that I am not allowed to use it.
16) I will not lock the Slytherins and Gryffindors in a room together and bet on which House will come out alive.
17) I will not charm the suits of armor to do a rendition of "The Knights of the Round Table" for the Christmas Feast.
18) I am not allowed to declare an official "Hug A Slytherin Day."
19) I am not allowed to sing my own personal spy music while wandering the hallways.
20) It is not necessary to yell, "BURN!" Whenever Snape takes points away from Gryffindor.
21) I will not say the phrase, "Get a Life" to Voldemort.
22) First years are not to be fed to Fluffy.
23) I will never ask Harry if his Voldie senses are tingling.
24) I will stop referring to showering as "Giving Moaning-Myrtle an eye-full."
25) I will not make, "OMGWTF" a spell.
26) It is not necessary to yell, "BAM" every time I Apparate.
27) I will not steal Gryffindor's sword from Dumbledore's office and use it to patrol the hallways.
28) I will not poke Hufflepuffs with spoons, nor shall I insist that their color's indicate that they're "covered in bees."
29) "I've heard every joke possible about Oliver Wood's name" is not a challenge.
30) I will not go to class skyclad.
31) I will not use Umbridge's quill to write, "Told you I was Hard Core."
32) If a class-mate falls asleep, I will not take advantage of that and draw a Dark Mark on their arm.
33) House Elves are not acceptable replacements for Bludgers.
34) I will not start every potion's class by asking Snape if the potion is acceptable as Body Lotion.
35) I will not call the Weasly twins, "bookends."
36) I will not call the Patil twins, "bookends."
37) I will not call the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher Kenny, even if he is wearing an orange anorak.
38) There is no such thing as a were-thylacine.
39) I will not give Luna Lovegood Coast-To-Coast AM transcripts.
40) Tricking a school House Elf to strip of it's clothing does not make it mine. Yes, even when I yell out "PWND!"
41) I do not weigh the same as a Duck.
42) I do not have a Dalek Patronus.
43) I will not lick Trevor.
44) Gryffindor Courage does not come in bottles labeled, "Firewhiskey."
45) I will not dress up as Voldemort on Halloween.
46) It is a bad idea to tell Snape he takes himself to seriously.
47) I will not tell Sir Cadogan that The Knight's Who Say Ni have challenged him to a duel, then have all the students say, 'Ni' from various directions.
48) I am not the King of the Potato People and I do not have a flying carpet.
49) "To conquer the Earth with an army of flying monkeys" is not a career choice.
50) I will not tell the first years that Professor Snape is the Voice of God.
Story of feelings
Once upon a time, all human feelings and all human qualities met up in a hidden place somewhere on Earth.
When Boredom yawned for the third time Craziness, always so crazy, proposed:
"Let’s play hide and seek. Who hides the best is the winner among feelings!”
Intrigue rose her right eyebrow, and Curiosity, not being able to hold her tongue, asked:
“Hide and seek? What kind of a game is that?”
“It is a game,” started explaining Craziness, “in which I cover my eyes and count to million, while all of you hide.
When I finish counting, I go in a search, and who I find the last is the winner.”
Enthusiasm started dancing, followed by Spirit.
Happiness was jumping so much she persuaded Suspicion and Apathy to play, who were never interested in anything.
But not everyone wanted to play.
Truth was against hiding, why should she hide anyway?
Everyone, in the end, always finds her.
Pride thought it was a stupid idea, although in reality it was bothering him he wasn’t the one to suggest the game.
Caution didn’t want to risk it.
“One, two, three….” started counting Craziness.
First to hide was Laziness who, as always, just threw herself behind the first rock.
Faith climbed to the sky,
Envy hid in Success’s shadow who climbed, with a lot of trouble, to the top of the highest tree.
Generosity just couldn’t decide where to hide because every place seemed perfect for one of her friends.
Beauty jumped in the crystal clear lake,
while Shyness continued to peek from a crack in a tree.
Elegance found her place in the flight of a butterfly,
and Freedom in winds breath.
Selfishness found a hideout, but only for herself!
Lie hid at the end of the rainbow (she is lying, she was at the bottom of the ocean),
Lust and Passion hid in a volcano.
Forgetfulness forgot to hide, but that is not important.
When Craziness counted 999 999,
Love still hadn’t found a hideout because everything was already taken.
She saw a rose garden, jumped in it, and cowered herself in beautiful buds.
“Million,” finished Craziness and started her search.
First she found Laziness behind the nearest rock.
Soon she heard Faith discussing theology with God,
while Lust and Passion jumped from the volcano from fear.
By chance there was Envy here, and of course Success,
she didn’t even have to find Selfishness.
She ran out of her perfect hideout on her own which proved to be a beehive.
From so much searching Craziness got thirsty,
and so she found Beauty in the crystal clear lake.
With Suspicion she had no problem because she couldn’t decide on a hideout so she just continued to sit on a nearby rock.
And so Craziness, little by little, found almost everyone.
Talent was in the golden wheat,
Anxiety was in the burnt grass,
Lie was at the end of a rainbow (she is lying, she was at the bottom of the ocean),
and Forgetfulness forgot they were even playing.
Only Love was nowhere to be found.
She looked in every bush and on top of every mountain and when she was already infuriated she saw the rose garden.
She went among the roses, took a dry branch and, furious and infirm, started hitting over the beautiful rose buds.
Suddenly there was a painful cry.
Rose thorns scratched Love’s eyes.
Craziness didn’t know what to do.
She found Victory, feeling above feelings, but Love was blind.
She cried and begged Love for forgiveness
and in the end she decided to stay with Love forever and help her.
And so Love become the winner among feelings, but was left blind
and Craziness became her faithful companion.