Incongruous Legume
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Joined 06-02-12, id: 4035262, Profile Updated: 01-11-13
Author has written 12 stories for Naruto, Hetalia - Axis Powers, D.Gray-Man, Thor, and Avengers.


I am the awkward duck known by many names

Primarily Maria

Although people tend to give me nicknames

You can give me one if you like

As long as it isn't rude, anyways

I love music

My favorite bands include: Panic! at the Disco, Maroon 5, Mayday Parade, My Chemical Romance, Nickelback, 3 Doors Down, The Fray, Marina and the Diamonds, Lifehouse, Fall Out Boy, and Matchbox Twenty

I love Anime

My favorites include: Naruto, Kuroko No Basuke, Hetalia, Black Butler, Durarara!!, D. Gray Man, and Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood

I am a Marvel fangirl

Robert Downey Jr. is my wife

... don't ask ...

BBC's Sherlock is my life

It is my new obsession

I ship JohnLock like FedEx

Pansexuality, or omnisexuality,is sexual attraction, sexual desire, romantic love, or emotional attraction toward persons of all gender identities and biological sexes. Self-identified pansexuals may consider pansexuality a sexual orientation, and refer to themselves as gender-blind, asserting that gender and sex are insignificant or irrelevant in determining whether they will be sexually attracted to others

I am pansexual

I am a Homestuck

If Homestuck were a religion, we would take over the world and make Hussie the king of the world

I support all sexualities, and will not tolerate hate of any kind

I am a yaoi fangirl

I'm here for you, if you need someone to talk to, i'm here. I won't judge you, and I will listen and try my best to help you

My brain is messed up

This morning, I was thinking about the best way to make a tomato rocket launcher

And that it'd be easy to choke someone with a bike chain

Like I said, messed up

Anywhore, I curse

Not much, but enough that its noticeable

I could give Hidan a run for his money if I wanted to

My OTPs: MariFood ( me and food) and MadaMari (Uchiha Madara and I)

Insult them, and you might just find yourself in a deep comatose

I'm thirteen and in the eighth grade, so please forgive all the mistakes in my writing, for I'm still learning

My beta is the lovely Ai Chiyo

( http://)(www.fanfiction)(.net/u/)(3159382/Ai-Chiyo) (take out the parenthesis to get the link)

Well, this is getting long so I'll take my leave now

Goodbye all, have sweet, anime-filled dreams

I love you all

*Maria the awkward duck*

We trained with Lee. We healed with Tsunade. We stayed loyal with Hinata. We ate with Choji. We gained courage and strength with Sakura. We played Shogi with Shikamaru. We became wiser with Kakashi. We raised a human-like Sai with Yamato. We laughed with Kiba. We sparred with Neji. We loved with Itachi. And above all, we grew up and will fight Madara with Naruto Uzumaki. We are the Naruto Shippuden generation.

story status:

Monster Stack of Papers = Done = Pein has too much work and asks Mitsuki for help Pein/OC (Naruto Shippuden canonverse)

Why Me = Done = Prussia's departure from the world you could say its Prussia/Germany but I was aiming more for a brotherly love than romantic love (Hetalia alternate universe where Prussia disappears)

Alfred's Anguish = Done = 9/11 and how Alfred reacted (Hetalia canonverse)

Dream = Done = Maria has a strange dream Prussia/OC (Hetalia canonverse)

Sleeping Allen = depending on feedback, I might write more (later in their lives) but for the moment, Done = About Allen and Lavi are little kids who see the Disney movie 'Sleeping Beauty' fluffyness overload ensues Lavi/Allen (D. Gray Man little kid Alternate Universe)

Reunited = Done = Itachi comes back from a long mission, and Hidan wants some Hidan/Itachi (Naruto Shippuden canonverse) (CONTAINS GRAPHIC YAOI)

Kyuseishu = on chapter 2 of 7 Not Done (On hold) = Kakashi one-shot rewritten into a story. Kakashi's girlfriend goes on a mission to Orochimaru's base Kakashi/OC (Naruto Canonverse) (set two weeks before the Chunin exams)

Nightmares = Done But if I get more inspiration, then I may write more = Loki has a nightmare and goes to Thor at night; Thor has a nightmare and goes to Loki's room for comfort (Thor canonverse) (they're little kids in this, ages in the story)

Of Flower Petals and Swiss Army Knives = on chapter 2 of N/A(on hold) I have no idea how long I'm going to drag that out Not Done = Hidan gets sent to the hospital and loses his memory,will he remember his past and boyfriend, or will it all fall apart before he has the chance? Hidan/Itachi (Naruto Shippuden modern day Alternate Universe )

Those Cerulean Eyes = I'm not sure if I should continue this e.e It SHOULD be done, but you people are asking for more ... e.e for now, Done = Tony is out for a drive when he sees Steve and ... things occur c; Tony/Steve (Avengers canonverse) (CONTAINS GRAPHIC BOYxBOY ACTION)

Pains and Comfort of a Past = oh chapter 4 of N/A = I am adopting this fic. I DO NOT OWN THE FIRST THREE CHAPTERS KageTama does. So yea :3 I will be continuing this as soon well as I can while juggling school, 4 other incomplete fics, and getting enough sleep -who am i kidding i'm turning into an insomniac but that's not the point- so bear with me.

Coliseum = Not Published = Rome, in his prime, takes seven year old Italy and Romano to the coliseum for the first time. (Hetalia AU... in ancient Rome ) (contains gore, violence, and sadism).

The Jinchuriki Guardians = Not Published = You all know the story of the jinchuriki, those who have cursed with the fate of having a bijuu sealed within them, but do you know the story of the Koken-nin ? They are the behind the scenes ninja who keep the Jinchuriki in check. They are the ones who pull the plug if the jinchuriki go out of control. They are the only ones who can stand up to a bijuu alone. They are the fearless ninja who have protected the world since the jinchurikis were created. They are the Koken-nin.

Every Mother Wants a Doctor in the Family- =Not Published= a series of JohnLock fluff because yes. (contains spoilers, reichenfeels, and JohnLock fluff overlead) (postfall)

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Electrolyte Mind by piranabo reviews
High school AU The first time Tony Stark talks to Bruce Banner is the same day Bruce Banner first tries to kill himself. Tony Stark doesn't realize he is the reason that Bruce fails. Bruce doesn't realize he repays the favor three years later. Tony/Bruce slash; UPDATE 7/5/15: NEW CHAPTER(s) EVERY MONDAY(ish)!
Avengers - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 17 - Words: 56,033 - Reviews: 130 - Favs: 172 - Follows: 268 - Updated: 2/14/2016 - Published: 7/19/2012 - Captain America/Steve R., Iron Man/Tony S., Hulk/Bruce B.
Little Lavi by animeobsessed001 reviews
Lavi was helping the Science Department out in an attempt to organize the lab. It seemed easy enough. That is, until he was distracted by a certain white-haired boy he likes and gets mixed up with an unknown potion. How will Lavi survive carrying out his duties when he's stuck in the body of his child self? Laven. Rated T for language.
D.Gray-Man - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 13 - Words: 21,793 - Reviews: 135 - Favs: 125 - Follows: 159 - Updated: 12/2/2015 - Published: 1/6/2012 - Lavi, Allen Walker
Distant Hearts by animeobsessed001 reviews
Sequel to So Close, Yet So Far. Allen and Lavi are finally together, but Allen was forced to move away with his uncle to start a new life halfway across the country. On top of that, miscommunications and other obstacles make things even rockier than they already are. Can they manage to make their relationship work, or will it crumble? AU. Laven. Rated T for language.
D.Gray-Man - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 4 - Words: 7,283 - Reviews: 54 - Favs: 51 - Follows: 90 - Updated: 11/30/2015 - Published: 8/6/2012 - Allen Walker, Lavi
Cas Bakes Dean a Pie by pleasedonttalktome reviews
Dean is watching a show about pies. Little does he know Cas baked him one?
Supernatural - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 2 - Words: 829 - Reviews: 940 - Favs: 1,565 - Follows: 182 - Updated: 8/11/2015 - Published: 11/15/2012 - Dean W., Castiel - Complete
Playlist by Shadow Storyteller reviews
D.Gray-Man - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 17 - Words: 148,783 - Reviews: 398 - Favs: 235 - Follows: 256 - Updated: 5/15/2014 - Published: 11/15/2011 - Allen Walker, Lavi
Itachis Diary of Doom by xXxTriggerxXx reviews
Itachi takes the time to reflect in the 'privacy' of his diary. After all, living in the Akatsuki base with a bunch of hyper active, bored criminals has got to be funny enough to write down for future reference. Due to complaints, I am obliged to warn people not to read later chapters during class.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 44 - Words: 71,974 - Reviews: 726 - Favs: 466 - Follows: 311 - Updated: 10/28/2013 - Published: 6/7/2012 - Itachi U., Akatsuki - Complete
Johnlock Ficlets by MoriartyandHisTardis reviews
A series of ficlets based on prompt words. Most will be Johnlock.
Sherlock - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 34 - Words: 21,777 - Reviews: 179 - Favs: 174 - Follows: 142 - Updated: 2/27/2013 - Published: 3/15/2012 - Sherlock H., John W.
Appealing madness by Mettlei reviews
Itachi is in a madhouse and Hidan's there too, for what and how they get along and later get out of there, read inside. The main pairing is HidaIta but there's more. Sasuke and Suigetsu are involved... Yaoi, AU. Itachi/Sai. Suigetsu/Sasuke. Suigetsu/Itachi. Hidan/Suigetsu. Hidan/Sasuke. ItaSasu .
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 12 - Words: 43,158 - Reviews: 106 - Favs: 63 - Follows: 40 - Updated: 2/14/2013 - Published: 7/23/2012 - Hidan, Itachi U. - Complete
The Visitor by ElusiveIllusions reviews
Shion was just about to leave him. Not for good, but at least to teach him a thing or two. The only problem is, he's sure they can reconnect after the accident damages his lover. AU. NezuShi. Lemon zest to come in future chapters.
No. 6 - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 8 - Words: 31,156 - Reviews: 52 - Favs: 90 - Follows: 61 - Updated: 12/10/2012 - Published: 5/25/2012 - Nezumi/Rat, Shion - Complete
Behind The Bloody Veil Of Hair by Ai Chiyo reviews
Behind her hair in which she hides, behind those lips in which she lies, behind her act is the truth that no one ever expected. Her name unusual and her demeanor mysterious she drove them away for all of the right reasons. And he was persistent for all the wrong reasons. But neither of them were prepared for what would follow. AU. Yaoi. Mature Content. M for a reason.
Kuroshitsuji - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,825 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 11/5/2012 - Published: 10/8/2012 - Grell S.
Prussia's Final Goodbye by LulzyIsDangerouslyAwkward reviews
Well, this is sad. So... yeah. Help is appreciated. If you can tell me anything I did wrong, please do. This is my first story published on here. It's about Prussia, obviously *hint: Look at the title, baka!* It's rated T because it does have one violent scene... So... enjoy?
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,284 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 1 - Published: 10/28/2012 - Prussia
Bonding Trip by Mettlei reviews
Pein, Sasori, Deidara, Itachi, Hidan... going for a trip to the mountains... Yaoi. AU. All kind of pairings between those five. HidaIta main pairing.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 16 - Words: 46,393 - Reviews: 135 - Favs: 67 - Follows: 30 - Updated: 8/31/2012 - Published: 6/20/2012 - Hidan, Itachi U. - Complete
Assassins by dicaeopolis reviews
"Hello, Matt, I want to play a game." Featuring the Russian continent, a Batmobile, the Hetalian mafia, white suburban gangsters, strawberry milkshakes, Berwald the Lunch Lady, Lovino's strut, and GAKUEN PRUCAN, with side FrUK and Spamano. And a bit of the old folks getting it on, too! Plot twist: THEY ALL DIE. Don't try this at home. Unless you PM me the results.
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 3 - Words: 9,622 - Reviews: 51 - Favs: 39 - Follows: 50 - Updated: 8/18/2012 - Published: 9/12/2011 - Canada, Prussia
Tell Me I'm A Wreck Alternate! by Ai Chiyo reviews
Hinata never has been able to do anything right in her father's or her cousin's eyes, but when the two get the same demand from the same man one of them gets a sneaky idea. And acting on that sneaky idea everything falls together and apart. M for incest and adult themes. Alternate version there will be another posted with the same name, but different plot/characters!
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 3 - Words: 2,527 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 11 - Updated: 8/7/2012 - Published: 7/30/2012 - Hinata H., Neji H.
So Close, Yet So Far by animeobsessed001 reviews
Allen Walker was in a predicament. He was about ninety eight percent sure that he was in love with his best friend Lavi Bookman. The only problem is Lavi is dating someone else. Can Allen survive the torture of seeing the one he loves in the arms of another? AU. Laven. Rated T for language.
D.Gray-Man - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 20 - Words: 104,450 - Reviews: 282 - Favs: 207 - Follows: 131 - Updated: 7/10/2012 - Published: 11/30/2011 - Allen Walker, Lavi - Complete
Hidans and Tobis Breakfast Tale by xXxTriggerxXx reviews
Hidan wants to be left alone to eat his breakfast in peace, but Tobi insists on "cheering him up" Rated T for Hidans language
Naruto - Rated: K - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 515 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 7 - Published: 6/8/2012 - Hidan, Obito U. - Complete
The Magic of Deduction by TheShoelessOne reviews
John Watson spends seven years at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, where he meets the boy who will become the greatest man he'll ever know. Eventual John/Sherlock.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Sherlock - Rated: T - English - Romance/Mystery - Chapters: 8 - Words: 65,395 - Reviews: 739 - Favs: 2,535 - Follows: 441 - Updated: 3/13/2011 - Published: 1/27/2011 - John W. - Complete
Found by zerokanda reviews
Kanda found Allen under some debris, and Allen naturally gets attached to the blue-haired exorcist. What's going to happen next? .forgive me for the AHEM title and summary, I know it's VERY conventional.
D.Gray-Man - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 6 - Words: 42,918 - Reviews: 80 - Favs: 121 - Follows: 132 - Updated: 10/23/2010 - Published: 9/11/2009 - Kanda Yuu, Allen Walker
Laughter in the Rain by Silentz reviews
It's the little things that become important, the things that used to seem insignificant: The blue that will only ever belong to his eyes. The gentle thrill of getting caught in the rain. NaruGaa. Yaoi. AU.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 9,056 - Reviews: 60 - Favs: 129 - Follows: 14 - Published: 9/17/2010 - Naruto U., Gaara - Complete
Hidan vs Edward Cullen by frostberry reviews
Hidan vs. Edward Cullen
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 11,787 - Reviews: 107 - Favs: 127 - Follows: 45 - Updated: 9/16/2010 - Published: 12/12/2009 - Hidan, Kakuzu - Complete
Cheers by Silentz reviews
It's the final Friday of the month, which means a formal dinner at Gaara's house. And how does Naruto make a first impression? By getting smashed, of course. NaruGaa. Slashy. AU.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,753 - Reviews: 32 - Favs: 76 - Follows: 4 - Published: 7/26/2010 - Naruto U., Gaara - Complete
Laven week! by baka coconut reviews
Mwuahahahahahaha, the time has come! Last chapter for "Finishing" is up! Happy Laven week everyone!
D.Gray-Man - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 8 - Words: 13,764 - Reviews: 38 - Favs: 36 - Follows: 13 - Updated: 8/13/2009 - Published: 8/6/2009 - Allen Walker, Lavi - Complete
Caught in the Act by iluvEdo reviews
Don't you hate it when you are caught red-handed? NaruSasu, Lemon, NC17
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 11,445 - Reviews: 139 - Favs: 297 - Follows: 44 - Updated: 12/18/2008 - Published: 11/29/2008 - Naruto U., Sasuke U. - Complete
Cataclysmic Peace by Dreaming-Of-A-Nightmare reviews
SEQUEL TO DB! It's been five years since they got together, and it's a few months before Temari's and Shikamaru's wedding in the epilogue. And according to the definitions inside, the past is about to be repeated for their anniversary’s sake..:.AU NaruGaa
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 7,404 - Reviews: 53 - Favs: 61 - Follows: 6 - Published: 10/4/2008 - Naruto U., Gaara - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Pains and comforts of a past (ADOPTED FROM KageTama) reviews
I didn't write the first three chapters KageTama did Naruto, now Hokage-in-training, travels back into the past with the rest of the Konoha 12. They set out to right the wrongs that others, and themselves, have made; and to make sure that not everything is reduced to dust. Team Minato, Minato, etc. alive.
Naruto - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 4 - Words: 9,162 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 15 - Published: 12/28/2012
Happy Birthday Kakashi reviews
First chapter is fluffy Second chapter is full on smut ;3 KakaObi GRAPHIC YAOI BOYxBOY DON'T LIKE DON'T READ
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,415 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 28 - Follows: 17 - Published: 9/15/2012 - Kakashi H., Torune
Those Cerulean Eyes reviews
Tony Stark/Steve Rogers ... basically a pwp but it doesn't really have porn, only implied porn. I do not own the Avengers nor do i plan to
Avengers - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,295 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 5 - Published: 8/23/2012 - Iron Man/Tony S., Captain America/Steve R.
Of Flower Petals and Swiss Army Knives reviews
HidaIta Something happens and Hidan ends up in the hospital. Read to find out more. Main pairing: HidaIta , Side pairings: One-sided KakuHida and one-sided KisaIta ... AU
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 3,168 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 8/21/2012 - Published: 8/13/2012 - Hidan, Itachi U.
Nightmares reviews
Thor/Loki brotherly fluff Warning: pure fluff, this is meant as brotherly love not incest, although it doesn't matter how you see it. You see what you see but don't flame me because i wrote it with them as brothers not lovers ... so yea enjoy !
Thor - Rated: K+ - English - Family - Chapters: 2 - Words: 733 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 3 - Published: 8/16/2012 - Thor, Loki
Kyūseishu reviews
Random Kakashi love-story .. its probably gonna be around 7 chapters :P have fun reading! cursing and maybe a lemon at the end if i'm up to it 3
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,185 - Reviews: 2 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 8/12/2012 - Published: 8/9/2012 - Kakashi H.
Reunited reviews
Hehe HidaIta pwp Itachi has been on a 2 month long mission and finally gets back home !
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,093 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 1 - Published: 8/1/2012 - Hidan, Itachi U. - Complete
Sleeping Allen reviews
Pairing: Laven Warning: Shounen-ai, fluff. Summary: Once those lips touched, their fates were sealed.
D.Gray-Man - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,075 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 27 - Follows: 6 - Published: 6/30/2012 - Allen Walker, Lavi - Complete
Random Prussia one-shot... short little make-out scene causes the rating. Nothing past french kissing so yea its a drabble thingy-dingy .. so enjoy... I DO NOT OWN HETALIA: AXIS POWERS
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,026 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Published: 6/24/2012 - Prussia - Complete
Alfred's Anguish reviews
its 8:00 am on September 11, 2001. How will Alfred react when 8:46 am rolls around? Themes: angst, 9-11 Warnings: this is about 9-11. if this subject is not to your liking, then do not read. i have warned you. Rating: for dark themes. and its t just in case.. I DO NOT OWN HETALIA: AXIS POWERS!
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Angst/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,205 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 6 - Published: 6/24/2012 - America - Complete
Why Me? reviews
Well, let's find out how Prussia was dissolved Angst/ brotherly love fluff NOT GERMANCEST... just brotherly love Rating just in case Themes: Character Death, angst, and le fluff.. I DON'T OWN HETALIA: AXIS POWERS.
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: K+ - English - Angst/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 894 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 3 - Published: 6/24/2012 - Prussia, Germany - Complete
Monster Stack Of Papers
So this is a Pein One-shot. I DON'T OWN NARUTO. MASASHI KISHIMOTO DOES. Rating just in case.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,074 - Published: 6/14/2012 - Complete