If you can read this message, you are blessed, because over two billion people in the world cannot read at all:

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg.

The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid.

Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae.

The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.

Tihs is bucesae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.

If you can read the message above paste it in your profile

Quotes That Might Make You Smile:

If at first you don't succeed, skydiving isn't for you.

If all else fails, destroy all evidence that you tried.

Whoever said nothing is impossible never tried slamming a revolving door.

The person who smiles when things go wrong has found someone to blame it on.

Better to stay silent and be thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubt.

Never argue with an idiot. They'll just drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.

Someday, we'll look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject.

Even if the voices aren't real, they have some good ideas.

If I had any dignity left that would have been humiliating.

That which does not kill me had better run pretty dang fast.

Curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back.

Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.

When in doubt, push random buttons!

Fighting is mind over matter. I don't mind, and you don't matter.

If you can't beat the computer at chess, try kickboxing.

When you talk to God, that's religion. When God talks to you, that's psychotic.

There's always a light at the end of the tunnel. Of course, it's usually an oncoming express train.

Last night I was looking up at the stars when suddenly I wondered..."Dude, where the heck's my ceiling?"

There are three kinds of people: Those who learn by reading, a few who learn by observation, and the rest who have to test the electric fence for themselves.

They say guns don't kill people; people do. Well, I think guns help. I mean, if you just stood there and yelled 'BANG!' I don't think you'd kill many people...

Just when I think you've said the stupidest thing ever you just keep on talking.

He who laughs last thinks slowest.

An idiot is a 44th floor window washer who steps back to admire his work.

I'm not cynical, I just see things the way they are.

I respect your opinion, I just think it's stupid.

It's not denial. I’m just selective about the reality I accept.

They say hard work never hurts anybody, but why take the chance.

Why be difficult, when with just a little bit of effort, you can be impossible?

Ask me no questions and I’ll tell you no lies.

Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film.

A clear conscience is usually a sign of memory loss.

There are no stupid questions, just a lot of inquisitive idiots.

The secret to success is sincerity. Once you can fake that you’re good.

The newscaster is the person who says "Good evening" and then tells you why it's not.

We live in an age where pizza gets to your house before the police.

If you don't like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk.

Sarcasm is one more free service we offer.

I used to have super powers, but then my therapist took them away.

They say the truth will set you free. Then why is it every time I tell the truth, I get sent to my room?

Some people are like slinkies. They seem to have no purpose, but they still bring you a smile when you push them down the stairs.

Keep smiling; it makes people wonder what you're up to.

Love your enemies. It gets them really confused.

I'm not a complete idiot. Some parts are missing

Silence is golden but duct tape is silver.

Anything thrown hard enough should hurt.

Flying is simple, you just throw yourself at the ground and miss.

Some say the glass is half full, some say it's half empty, I say, "Are you gonna drink that?"

When I was born, I was so shocked that I didn't talk for a year and a half.

Where there's a will...I want to be in it.

Do not disturb, I'm disturbed already.

The trouble with life, is there's no background music.

I couldn't repair you brakes, so I made your horn louder.

A clean house is a sign of a broken computer!

Do not walk behind me for I may not lead, do not walk in front of me for I will not follow. If you want to walk besides me, go far it, but don't expect a big reaction...

For people who like peace and quiet: Get a PHONELESS CORD!

I don't get even, I get odder.

I have a photographic memory, but it takes a day to develop.

I've learned from my mistakes, and I'm sure I could repeat them exactly, if it's worth it.

Light travels faster than sound. That is why...some people seem bright until you hear them speak.

You have the right to remain silent, anything you say will be misquoted and used against you.

An optimist is someone who falls off the empire state building and after 50 floors says "So far so good!"

If Fed ex and UPS merge, they would be called Fed UP.

Chaos, panic, pandemonium, my work here is done.

If two wrongs don't make a right, try three.

Love me, Hate me, make a voodoo doll of me and stick it full of pins, I will continue to be indifferent to you.

To be alone is to be different; to be different is to be alone.

The beatings will cease once moral improves.

Excuse me while I find a container for my joy.

People who think they know everything annoy those of us who do.

This door is alarmed!...what startled it?

I ran into my ex the other day, then I put the car in reverse and ran over him again.

I used to hate it when aunts and grandmas, used to come up to me at weddings and pinch my cheeks and say "Your next" "Your next". Well they stopped doin that crap when i started to do it to them at funerals.

There are three kinds of people in the world; ones that can count and ones that can't count.

Too often, we lose sight of life's simple pleasures. Remember, when someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles in your face to frown, BUT it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and slap that idiot upside the head.

Don't think of your self as an ugly person. Think of yourself as a beautiful monkey.

"Some people are like Slinkies. They're really good for nothing. But they still really bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs."

We know exactly where one cow with mad-cow-disease is located among the millions and millions of cows in America , but we haven't a clue as to where thousands of Illegal immigrants and Terrorists are located. Maybe we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of immigration!

"A good friend picks you up when you fall,a best friend picks you up and then trips you again."

Apparently 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there are five people in my family so it must be one of them. Either it's my mom or my dad. Or my older brother Collin. Or my other brother Ho-Chan-Chu. I think it's Collin.

Most people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.

The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.

I called your boyfriend gay, and he hit me with his purse.

Some say the glass is half full, some say the glass is half empty. I say "Are you gonna drink that?"

I think crime pays. The hours are good, you travel a lot.

I hope life isn’t a joke, because I don’t get it.

Every rule has an exception. Especially this one.

Fiction writing is great, you can make up almost anything.

The spontaneous rally will begin at 1:45.

Life isn't passing me by, it's trying to run me over.

I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound as the go by.

When life hands you lemons, throw those lemons right back at it and tell life to make its own dang lemonade.

Assassinations is an extreme form of censorship.

Imitation is the most annoying form of flattery.

You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.

Join The Army, Visit exotic places, meet strange people, and then kill them.

Don't mess with me I've got a stick.

I'll be rich and famous when I invent something that will stab people over the internet.

I was gifted, but the psychiatrist took away my powers.

Being normal is overrated.

Never hide the bodies in the same place, your closet gets full after a while.

I am on a quest to the deepest, darkest corners of my room in search of what some would call "a floor" - a long and difficult task awaits me. Wish me luck my friends for I may not return alive.

"I'll hold it and you light the fuse.

"So, you're a cannibal."

"Please Note: CHRISTMAS IS CANCELED Apparently you told Santa that you have been good this year...he died laughing."

Kids are the future. Be afraid. Be very afraid.

Children in the dark make accidents. Accidents in the dark make children.

Closed minds always seem to be connected to open mouths.

Yeah, I'm a loser, but the coolest loser you'll ever meet.

Save the earth. It's the only planet with chocolate.

I am generally very brave. Today, I just happen to have a headache.

I find 'good morning' a contradiction of terms.

I've heard that it's possible to grow up. I've just never met anyone who's actually done it.

No I won't go to hell! It has a restraining order against me.

You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.

'It's always the last place you look'. Well of course it is! Why the heck would I keep looking after I found it!

When Life gives you lemons, throw them back, because I mean really, who likes lemons?

When Life gives you lemons, make grape juice, and sit back and watch the world wonder how you did it.

When Life gives you lemons, squirt them in Life's eye, and see how much Life likes lemons then.

When Life gives you lemons, alter their DNA and make SUPER LEMONS!

When Life gives you lemons, demand to know why it's always lemons instead of appls. Apples hurt more when you throw them.

"...True love doesn't have a happy ending, because true love doesn't have an ending."

"In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself."

I think the world is out to get me, but for some reason, the universe is saving my ass.

You can't get to the top by sitting on your bottom.

War does not determine who is right, war determines who is left.

To be honest with you, I’m a liar.

You can't change the past, so you might as-well stick to the present and look to the future.

Thrice upon three days three blind mice were walking down the road. They walked down three different forks and fell off three different cliffs. They screamed three different screams while falling and died. Moral of this Story: Don't eat lip balm.

Long ago, when men cursed and struck the ground with sticks it was called witchcraft. Today its called golf.

When I was younger, my parents encouraged me to walk and talk. Now, all they want me to do is sit down and shut up!

Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level and beat you with experience. Never argue with me, I'll drag you down to my level and beat you with a bat.

People that don't know me think I'm quiet. People that do wish I was.

Good friends give you a ride. Close friends buy you a car. Best friends are the getting-away-from-the-scene-of-the-crime driver.

Find the guy that calls you beautiful instead of hot,

Who calls you back when you hang up on him,

Who’ll lay under the stars for hours and listen to your heart beat.

Or will stay awake just to watch you sleep.

Wait for the guy that kisses your forehead,

Who keeps your picture in his wallet,

Who wants to show you off to the world even when you’re in sweatpants,

Who holds your hand in front of all his friends,

Who thinks you’re beautiful without makeup,

One who is constantly telling you of how much he cares and how is lucky to have you,

THE one who turns to his friends and says THAT’S HER!

if you agree put this on your profile and advise others to do the same

I am a girl.
Harsh but vulnerable.
Sarcastic but silly.
Stupid but thoughtful.
Thorny but tender.
Funny but serious.
Loud but passive.
Dramatic but bland.
An open book.
Easy to love & easy to hate.
Klutzy but occasionally coordinated.
Independent, but dependent on friends.
An oxymoron
A muddling paradox
An unsolvable contradiction
And totally proud of it.

Girls Don't realize these things:

I'm sorry

that I bought you roses

to tell you that I like you

I'm sorry

That I was raised with respect

not to sleep with you when you were drunk

I'm sorry

That my body's not ripped enough

to "satisfy" your wants

I'm sorry

that I open your car door,

and pull out your chair like I was raised

I'm sorry

That I'm not cute enough

to be "your guy"

I'm sorry

That I am actually nice;

not a jerk

I'm sorry

I don't have a huge bank account

to buy you expensive things

I'm sorry

I like to spend quality nights at home

cuddling with you, instead of at a club

I'm sorry

I would rather make love to you then just screw you

like some random guy.

I'm sorry

That I am always the one you need to talk to,

but never good enough to date

I'm sorry

That I always held your hair back when you threw up, and didn't get mad at you for puking in my car,

but when we went out you went home with another guy

I'm sorry

That I am there to pick you up at 4am when your new man hit you and dropped you off in the middle of nowhere,

but not good enough to listen to me when I need a friend

I'm sorry

If I start not being there because it hurts being used as a door mat, only to be thrown to the side when the new jerk comes around

I'm sorry

If I don't answer my phone anymore when you call, to listen to you cry for hours, instead of getting a couple hours of sleep before work

I'm sorry

that you can't realize.. I've been the one all along.

I'm sorry

If you read this and know somebody like this

but don't care

But most of all
I'm sorry

For not being sorry anymore

I'm sorry

That you can't accept me for who I am

I'm sorry

I can never do anything right, and nothing that I do is good

enough to make it in your world.

I'm sorry

I caught your boyfriend with another girl and told you about it, I thought that was what friends were for...

I'm sorry

That I told you I loved you and actually meant it.

I'm sorry

That I talked to you for nine hours on Thanksgiving when your boyfriend was threatening you instead of spending time with my family.

I'm Sorry

That I cared

I'm sorry

that I listen to you at night talking about how you wish you could have done something different.

Ladies always complain and gripe to their friends that there is never any good guys out there, and they always end up with assholes who mistreat them. Well ladies, next time you're complaining, maybe look up to see who you're complaining to, maybe that special someone is right there hanging on your every word as usual, screaming in his head "Why won't you give me a chance?"

Because the person you are usually searching for is right by you.

If you're a guy and you agree with this letter, copy and paste into your profile as 'I'm sorry'
If You're one of the FEW girls with enough BALLS to copy and paste this into your profile, and you would never make your guy feel this way, copy and paste into your profile as 'Girls Don't Realize These Things'

Jesus had no servants, yet they called him Master...

He had no degree, yet they called him Teacher...

He had no medicine, yet they called him Healer...

He had no army, yet kings feared him...

He won no military battles, yet he conquered the World...

He committed no crime, yet they crucified Him...

He was buried in a tomb, yet He lives...wow