HemingwayisBOSS
hide bio
Poll: Which characters would you DEFINITELY like to see survive Alternate Worlds? Four made it through the anime, so here's four votes: Vote Now!
PM . Follow . Favorite
Joined 06-10-12, id: 4049371, Profile Updated: 02-05-16
Author has written 4 stories for Akame ga Kiru/アカメが斬る, and Tokyo Ghoul/東京喰種トーキョーグール.

ISHIDA-SENSEI! ISHIDA-SENSEI! ISHIDA-SENSEI! ISHIDA-SENSEI! ISHIDA-SENSEI! ISHIDA-SENSEI! ISHIDA-SENSEI! ISHIDA-SENSEI! ISHIDA-SENSEI!

I’ve taken a long, hard look at my profile, and after realizing that it might as well have been written by a retarded seven-year old, I’ve decided to make some changes.

I’m a 20 year old guy from the frozen north. I like to write fanfiction and I freakin' hate sushi.

There, that’s all you need to know about me.


Copy/paste this to your profile if...

...You're sick and tired of annoying teenagers on this site telling you to copy/paste their inane drivel to your profile.

Seriously, why do you insist on making me scroll down all that frivolous crap to get to your stories? This is a forum for fanfiction, not politics or whatnot, y'know? If you absolutely need to spread your "98% of people won't mindlessly repost this stupid bullshit, but I will, cause' I'm not pretentious at all(and would hate to see my profile display any sense of individuality whatsoever)!", then go to tumblr or whatever site's appropriate for that stuff.

Or better yet, come up with your OWN inane drivel, like I just did. That, at least, I could respect.


A few words on the use of OCs in fanfiction...

Listen up, you OC-loving, newbie polyps. Original characters ... in fanfiction ... should be used to ... EXPAND UPON THE MYTHOS OF AN EXISTING SERIES! They should not be shoe-horned in where the canon MCs ought to be in an attempt for you to superimpose your own goddamn ego onto the story. Here's a couple examples:

Wrong use of OC: Come on, come all for the adventures of Fuckface Dippshitington, Ron and Hermoine as Fuckface nails every chick (and boys too. I see you there, you yaoi fanatics) in the HP universe, display the emotional and intellectual complexity of a squeezed lemon from beginning to end, all in an epic tale that serves no other purpose than to bombard you with the "author's" misplaced atempts at flaunting their non-existent creativity.

Correct use of OC: Even longer ago, in a galaxy far, far away, a young man man named Lathael crashlanded on an empty world at the edge of the galaxy. Over the years, a strange sense of powe rand belonging would eventually culminate in his ability to push objects without touching- SEE WHAT I FUCKING DID THERE? I gave something back to the Star Wars Universe by telling you a story of the first force user, rather than suck on its teat like a fucking parasite!

In conclusion, if you want to write an OC-centric story, don't put them in a scenario the real MCs ought to occupy, give them their own time and place and ADD TO THE FUCKING MYTHOS! If you want them more as side-characters, then let them remain side-characters and don't shove them down people's throats. Use OC stand-ins if there are a whole host of underdeveloped characters in canon for you to choose. If there aren't, the come up with a situation where the appearance of an OC would make narrative sense, and not the other way around. In conclusion, if you're gonna ride on the accomplishments of professional authors, then have some measure of respect for the source material, fuckin' schmucks...


Y'know, I really wish more people would state their ages in ther profile. I'm getting really tired of having to guess wheter certain people can't write for shit because they can't write for shit, or because their eleven years old and have never written dick before in their life and are just getting started. For once I'd just like to go all out in a review and say: "Hey, what about you try getting some basic grammar down like, I dunno, punctuation, you lazy cunt."

But no, I can't do that because that might just be the next J.K. Rowling putting their first teenage angst onto the paper, and if I'm too mean I might hurt their precious little feelings and cut a potentional magnificent career short. God, I wish people would state their ages.

Most reviewers on this site are too sheepish and afraid to offend people in general. If we don’t hold each other to a higher standard, how will fanfiction ever be considered legit literature? Folks gotta start growing some balls and be willing to say things like: “You fucking suck, dude. Put some small measure of effort into it next time, would ya?”

Of course, douchebag comments should always come with constructive criticism. I’m equally annoyed with morons who’ll just be like: “Meh, didn’t like that.” Well, fuck you too, asshole. Would it have killed you to take an additional minute out of your day to tell me WHAT you didn't like?


Fanfics I will never read:

Any fics that focus on ham-fisted Mary Sue OC characters that nine out of ten times are simply a product of wish fulfillment on the part of the “author” (seriously, these types of stories will never be popular, no matter how many times you post them people. GIVE IT UP).

Male slash (I don’t really have a problem with these, even though they’re not for me. I just wish people would stop spamming them so hard in certain categories. Fuck.)

Any fic with a summary that simply states “I suck at summaries”. Listen, compadre. If you’re incapable of coming up with a simple one, two, maybe three sentence outline to give people some idea of what they’re getting into, how the hell do you think you’ll be able to construct an engaging narrative? Spoiler alert: you're not. Write a goddamn summary, you lethargic sack of shit.

Any Naruto fics (because fuck the mainstream, that’s why).

Any fic where a change of POV is signaled by gigantic ugly letters devoid of subtlety.

Any fics with summaries containing the phrase “picking up the pieces”.

Any fic where the “author” feel the need to throw in a bunch of exposition in their AN, rather than let us know organically through storytelling.

Any fic where the author does not seem aware that sentences start with BIG letters.

Any fic on wattpad.


More rants coming as soon as I feel like it. Shouldn't take long.

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

I Should Go by Nevery reviews
Speeches, farewells, denials, howls of grief and of rage. Those that knew Shepard in life remember the Commander in death. Shepard's gender and any interpretations of romance are intentionally ambiguous and left up to you. Disclaimer: Reading these shorts whilst listening to "An End for Once and For All" carries with it a heavy risk of tears.
Mass Effect - Rated: T - English - Sci-Fi/Friendship - Chapters: 54 - Words: 21,087 - Reviews: 315 - Favs: 233 - Follows: 228 - Updated: 1/18 - Published: 3/1/2013 - Blasto, Oriana L.
A Snowflake in Spring by Celery Sticks reviews
After her brother Hans is institutionalized, Anna makes it her mission to visit him whenever she can. The sooner he comes home, the sooner everything will go back to normal. She wasn't expecting to meet the asylum's resident 'Ice Queen,' who refuses to speak or acknowledge anyone... except Anna. /Cover art by one lorelei-lilyprincess over on Tumblr/
Frozen - Rated: M - English - Romance/Suspense - Chapters: 28 - Words: 126,019 - Reviews: 6029 - Favs: 4,896 - Follows: 6,433 - Updated: 12/23/2015 - Published: 2/1/2014 - [Anna, Elsa]
Tempest by kaiserklee reviews
Word was, the war in Arendelle lasted less than a day. Princess Anna is brought captive to the Southern Isles—where a heartless queen rules from cold towers up above, thirteen brothers vie for power, and a nameless sorcerer dwells in the darkness below. Anna only hoped to survive; but in the midst of a winter tempest, she finds a glimpse of warmth in the enigma that is Queen Elsa.
Frozen - Rated: M - English - Tragedy/Romance - Chapters: 52 - Words: 275,515 - Reviews: 2587 - Favs: 2,112 - Follows: 2,737 - Updated: 5/27/2015 - Published: 12/29/2013 - [Anna, Elsa] Kristoff B., Hans - Complete
Sense and Flexibility by Roarkshop reviews
The story of Garrus and Femshep as told by me. Lots of off-canon. Sequels incoming. TW: It's been brought to my attention that some of Garrus' more animalistic behavior in some scenes have caused panic attacks for victims of abuse. I am so sorry for anyone who had a similar reaction. SO sorry. I would like to make any new readers aware of this beforehand. Thank you.
Mass Effect - Rated: M - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 51 - Words: 220,428 - Reviews: 1453 - Favs: 1,913 - Follows: 1,158 - Updated: 11/11/2014 - Published: 10/6/2011 - Shepard (F), Garrus V. - Complete
Interstitium by AssaultSloth reviews
Flashbacks, interstitial scenes, and backdoor dealings. A companion to ME2 focusing on characters and worlds, big and small.
Mass Effect - Rated: T - English - Sci-Fi - Chapters: 33 - Words: 535,038 - Reviews: 897 - Favs: 902 - Follows: 692 - Updated: 4/30/2014 - Published: 2/16/2010 - Shepard (M), Garrus V., Miranda L., Tali'Zorah - Complete
He Who Fights Monsters by hawker-748 reviews
Tsukune Aono. An ordinary human in a dangerous place. When your life's on the line, there's nothing that you won't do to survive.
Rosario + Vampire - Rated: M - English - Drama - Chapters: 12 - Words: 93,163 - Reviews: 1728 - Favs: 2,814 - Follows: 1,542 - Updated: 12/6/2012 - Published: 4/26/2011 - Tsukune A. - Complete
If Bella Were Sane by The One Called Demetra reviews
The events of Twilight, had Bella been the only sane woman in the Twilight universe. Diarystyle. T because normal teenagers don't say 'Holy crow' when they swear.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 4 - Words: 4,675 - Reviews: 348 - Favs: 616 - Follows: 150 - Updated: 10/21/2011 - Published: 7/3/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
How 2 B a ttly awsum fanfikshun riter by The One Called Demetra reviews
In which Demetra instructs the world in the mystical way of the fanfic. Parody
Misc. Books - Rated: T - English - Parody - Chapters: 6 - Words: 10,147 - Reviews: 318 - Favs: 196 - Follows: 65 - Updated: 11/27/2010 - Published: 2/3/2010 - Complete
Behind the wall of madness by Lydia-kitten reviews
Post-HBP oneshot. Captured by Death Eaters in an attempt to lure Harry, Hermione is put under Bellatrix' "care". Trying to pull her captor's strings, she ends up bound by them instead. Femslash, D/s, Stockholm Syndrome, Noncon, but above all a love story.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Horror/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 11,051 - Reviews: 110 - Favs: 408 - Follows: 58 - Published: 8/9/2010 - Hermione G., Bellatrix L. - Complete
Rewrite by Silver Pard reviews
"If I'm going to have a past, I prefer it to be multiple choice." The Joker shuffles the deck and makes himself anew with every card.
Batman - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,115 - Reviews: 54 - Favs: 327 - Follows: 24 - Published: 8/4/2008 - The Joker - Complete
Kim Possible: Mind, body, and Soul by Hobnob-rev reviews
KIGO fic:Kim and Shego Romance.Kim has finally reached that Milestone… turning nineteen. But with trouble on the horizon for an old enemy, she may have to face some twists and confessions that will change her way of facing life… forever.
Kim Possible - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 25 - Words: 456,770 - Reviews: 772 - Favs: 819 - Follows: 274 - Updated: 1/12/2007 - Published: 6/6/2005 - Kim P., Shego - Complete
Alone, Together by Failte200 reviews
Kigo. Kim and Shego are straight, archenemies, and trapped in an alternate reality, just the two of them. This is how they fall in love.
Kim Possible - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 18 - Words: 114,373 - Reviews: 773 - Favs: 1,529 - Follows: 321 - Updated: 10/20/2006 - Published: 5/21/2006 - Kim P., Shego - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Alternate Worlds: Shorts reviews
Title says it all. Basically, a collection of all the stuff I couldn't cram into the main story itself provided in a completely unchronological order. Probably not going to bringing my A game for these most of the time, but I advise all readers of AW to check it out nonetheless. Rating will be adjusted if I decide to go dark and suggestive here as well.
Akame ga Kiru/アカメが斬る - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,776 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 30 - Follows: 35 - Published: 11/16/2015
Alternate Worlds reviews
In a different world, Esdeath tracks down a member of Night Raid's local team to Tatsumi's village three days before he was supposed to leave. Trapped in the clutches of the Queen of Ice, will he ever be able to find his true destiny? Betareading done by Pyromania101.
Akame ga Kiru/アカメが斬る - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Tragedy - Chapters: 16 - Words: 183,886 - Reviews: 941 - Favs: 1,612 - Follows: 1,722 - Updated: 11/13/2015 - Published: 9/2/2014 - Tatsumi, Esdeath
Route Aogiri reviews
Yomo never showed up in Kanou's lab. Instead, Eto made her presence known to Kaneki, sparking a very different route A from the one we saw in the anime.
Tokyo Ghoul/東京喰種トーキョーグール - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Suspense - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,043 - Reviews: 28 - Favs: 119 - Follows: 121 - Published: 3/29/2015 - Kaneki K./Haise S., Eto/Sen T.
Kishou reviews
Arima's thought process during his confrontation with Kaneki as imagined by me. Oneshot.
Tokyo Ghoul/東京喰種トーキョーグール - Rated: T - English - Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,373 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 32 - Follows: 6 - Published: 2/13/2015 - Complete