Author has written 5 stories for Harry Potter, and Castle.
Hello there. Most of my stories won't be too OOC, but some might. Any way, I'm a big fan of Harry Potter, Percy Jackson, The Kane Chronicles, Heroes of Olympus, Divergent, Hunger games, Doctor Who, Castle, Leverage, and The Mentalist.
Harry Potter: Ginny x Harry, Harry x Hermione, Draco x Hermione, Luna x Neville, and James x Lily (I do like the idea of Snape and Lily, but Snape had his chance and he ruined it.) Quirrel x Voldemort (do NOT ask.)
Percy Jackson/Heroes of Olympus: PERCABETH (Percy x Annabeth), Chris x Clarisse, Juniper x Grover, Hazel x Frank, Jason x Piper, Leo x ME!!
The Kane Chronicles: Carter x Zia and Sadie x Walt (though I'm okay with what happened in Serpent's Shadow.
Divergent: Tobias(Four) x Tris, Marlene x Uriah, Christina x Will
The Hunger Games: Peeta x Katniss and Annie x Finnick.
Doctor Who: 9 x Rose, 10 x Rose, Martha x Jack, Donna x Jack, Mickey x Martha, Rory x Amy
Castle: Caskett (Castle x Beckett), Esplanie (Esposito x Lanie), and Jenny x Ryan.
Leverage: Sophie x Nate, Parker x Hardison
The Mentalist: Jane x Lisbon, Van Pelt x Rigsby
Now time for random stuff I found on different peoples profiles.
1) What is your name?
Here's7to6never5growing4up. But if you want you can call me Maura. Character I like on a show, not my real name.
2) How old are you?
Old enough to go to school dances.
3) What do you look like.
Caucasian. Gold blonde hair that goes to my shoulders. Green/blue/grey/black eyes. White, and I don't mean pale, I mean snow white, spot on my right upper cheek, near my nose. other than that, normal looking, I guess.
4) What are your obsessions?
Harry Potter, Percy Jackson, Harry Potter, Divergent, Harry Potter, Hunger Games, Harry Potter, Castle, Harry Potter, Harry Potter, Harry Potter…… Did I say Harry Potter?
5) What do you despise most in the world?
War, proverty, the ignorant.
6) What are your favorite foods?
Loi Main, spaghetti, butterbeer(I know it isn't a food, but I like it).
7) Do you have any siblings?
Nope. Good thing, too. I'd be a bad influence on them. Plus my house can only handle one crazy/insane person.
8) Where do you live?
Earth. North America. United States. Tennessee. The Middle of No Where. Hogwarts.(I wish)
9) What is your favorite book?
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows.
10) What is you favorite movie?
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2.
11) What is one interesting thing about you?
I'm considered to be one of the boys.
12) What are your favorite songs?
Silhouettes by Of Monsters and Mean
Nothing Left to Say by Imagine Dragons
Titanium by Madilyn Bailey
13) What do you like to do in your free time?
Read and writer
14) Do you enjoy school?
Yeah, best part of my day.
15) What's your favorite color?
Blue. It represent calmness, sadness, and intelligence all at the same time.
16) What are you scared of?
Harry, Ron, or Hermione dying. Wasp, hornets, bees, anything that stings.
17) Do you have a boyfriend?
Never have. Never had a crush, which is "unnatural" according to all of the bloody girls in my school. That's why I hang out with the weird boys.
18) Do you own any weapons?
Honestly anything you give me is a weapon in my hands. But I own a Bow and arrow, knives, and a large stick.
19) What sports do you play?
Archery. Page flipping. Wand practicing.
20) In one word, how would you describe yourself?
I promise to remember Harry
Each time I see lightning
And I promise to remember Ron
When I see red hair that's blinding
I promise to obey school rules
For Hermione's sake of course
And I promise to remember Malfoy
When my heart fills with remorse
I promise to remember Ginny
Whenever I see an adoring fan
And I promise to remember Neville
When someone says no, but they say 'I can'
I promise to remember Luna
Whenever I see the moon
And I promise to remember Fred and George
When I see someone acting like a loon
I promise to remember Dumbledore
When I see someone with long, grey hair.
And I promise to remember Molly
When someone tells me they care
I promise to remember Tom Riddle
Whenever I am scared
And I promise to remember Hedwig
When someone says 'I have always cared'
Yes I promise to love Harry Potter
Wherever I may go
So that all may see my obsession
Because I know what the Potter fans know.
Harry Potter isn't an obsession...
it's a way of life you know...
The Percy Jackson Pledge
I promise to remember Percy whenever I'm at sea
I promise to remember Annabeth whenever a spider comes at me
I promise to protect nature for Grover's sake of course
I promise to remember Luke when my heart fills with remorse
I promise to remember Chiron whenever I see a sign that says ''free pony ride''
I promise to remember Tyson whenever a friend says they'll stick by my side
I promise to remember Thalia whenever a friend is scared of heights
I promise to remember Clarisse whenever I see someone that gives me a fright
I promise to remember Bianca whenever I see a sister scold her younger brother
I promise to remember Nico whenever I see someone who doesnt get along with others
I promise to remember Zoe whenever I watch the stars
I promise to remember Rachel whenever a limo passes my car.
yes I promise to remember PJO wherever I may go.
I shall remember Athena
When an owl's flying high
I shall remember Poseidon
Whenever I'm at sea
I shall remember Ares
When someone's mean to me
I shall remember Hades
When I think of someone passed away
I shall remember Aphrodite
When it's Valentine's Day
I shall remember Artemis\
When I see an arrow and a bow
I shall remember Hestia
When a fire brightly glows
I shall remember Dionysus
When I see someone drinking wine
I shall remember Demeter
When the plants are growing fine
I shall remember Apollo
When I see the gleaming sun
I shall remember Hermes
When I see someone on the run
I shall remember Hera
When I hear of a queen
I shall remember Hephaestus
When I see an invention that's extreme
Wherever I go, Whatever I see
I shall remember the deities of ancient Greece
I shall remember Carter
When a true leader comes
I shall remember Sadie
When I hear someone pop their gum
I shall remember Zia
When a fire brightly glows
I shall remember Khufu
When I watch a Lakers show
I shall remember Walt
When I put on jewelry
I shall remember Alyssa
When I see pottery
I shall remember Jaz
When I see a sacrifice
I shall remember Felix
When some penguins are on ice
I shall remember Julius
When a lecturer does drone
I shall remember Amos
When I see a saxophone
Whatever I shall see, wherever I shall go
I shall always remember the characters of The Kane Chronicles
You know you're obsessed with PJO when:
During a thunderstorm, you scream, "CALM DOWN ZEUS!"
Everytime you use the internet you thank Hermes.
Everytime you see an owl, you say, "Hi Athena!"
You've googled Camp Half-Blood's address.
You always carry a ball point pen in your pocket.
Everytime you pick up a pen, you hope it turns into a sword.
When you clap your hands, you hope the dead will appear to do your bidding.
You become obessessed with Adidas shoes because they have the symbol of Hermes.
If someone says, "Percy," you scream, "JACKSON!"
You go on a cruise and hope it's not the Princess Andromeda.
Everytime you see an orange shirt, you look to see if it is a Camp Half-Blood one.
Everytime you see a NY Yankees cap you say, "Annabeth!"
You burn food to see if it smells good.
You see an emo and say to them, "Hi Nico."
Recite random lines from the books.
When you see/hear about anything myhtology-related, you talk about how it was in PJO (what page, book, etc.) and what happened to it.
You sometimes try to control water.
You don't read anything but PJO for 3 months.
You write PJO fanfiction constantly, even when you're not at your computer.
You spend time doing pointless research, just because Rick Riordan linked it on his site.
You know exactly what someone means when they say LT, SoM, TC, BotL, TLO, PJO and use it in conversations.
You never looked at a ballpoint pen the same way again.
You keep thinking about one of the PJO books when you go on a trip.
You just have to research more about Greek mythology.
You copy and paste this onto your profile.
You’re nodding and smiling when you read this.
You are planning on adding a lot more things to this list.
You've made a Camp Half-Blood shirt.
You annoy your friends and family by talking about Percy Jackson all the time.
You claim that Percy IS real and lives in New York no matter how much your friends argue with you.
You have dreams - or dream - about PJO characters/events.
In the beginning of your first History class, you burst out "Will we be studying Greek mythology?!"
You quiz fellow fans on the minor gods and win.
You read page 203 of BotL over and over again or say the lines in your head.
When your boyfriend dumps you, you take the oath of the hunters.
You go to the Empire State Building and ask for the 600th floor. When the dude at the desk looks at you weird,you announce that you’re a demigod.
You watch the movie and read the book every chance you get
You claim that you are a demigod and need to go to Camp in New York.
You go to New York and ask for a man named Chiron and that you need to go with him.
You look for a Latin teacher that is in a wheelchair and loves to throw Greek field days.
You try to find Rachel and ask her for a prophecy.
Every time a major water storm or earthquake happens, you scream at Poseidon.
You go to Aunty Em’s and say you’re camera shy.
You find your true love and thank Aphrodite for sending him/her to you.
When it gets really cold randomly, blame Kronos.
You get really mad at Hades when a family member dies.
Every time you play dodgeball, you bring a suit of armor.
You go to San Fransisco looking for the Old Sea Man.
Whenever your Internet slows down, you yell at the sky and say "HERMES! WHY DO YOU LOVE ANNOYING ME?!"
You pray to Athena when you don’t study for a math test.
You want Hephaestus to fix your iPod when it breaks.
When someone gets married, you say, "I hope you shall not anger Hera."
You cried when you finished TLO.
You eat, sleep, and breathe Percabeth.
Every school book you own has PJO stuff scribbled on each page.
You're in love with a fictional character.
You dream of going to Camp Half-Blood.
You buy everything you see with an owl or trident on it.
You checked to make sure your vice-principal doesn’t have a tail.
You know which pages the good parts are on.
You start hearing Percabeth in every song you hear.
You started calling your dog Mrs. O’Leary.
You start figuring out who your godly parent is.
You start doing pro/con lists in your head during Math when you’re supposed to be taking notes.
Each day you check every fan site you know of for new information.
The first thing you ask someone when you meet them is, "Have you read PJO?"
On your trip to Washington D.C. you thought of Annabeth every time you saw a monument.
You have one (or more) pictures relating to PJO in your room.
You know PJO better then most sane people.
You have links to every great PJO site.
You add things to the list every day.
You know what you would do if you were Percy.
You argue with your friends about if Nico should turn evil or not.
At least half of your friends have read all the PJO, or are going to in the very near future.
You wish you could find a rainbow to see if Iris messages work.
You are trying to learn Greek.
You shriek every time you see a guy with black hair and green eyes ( Same thing goes for Harry Potter fans).
Important Things I Learned From Rick Riordan:
Even cat goddesses like growling at birds.
Underwater kisses are way better than normal ones.
The five elements are earth, air, fire, water, and cheese.
Children of rival gods can fall in love.
No one really knows why the Egyptians wrote without vowels.
Nemean lions can be defeated with freeze dried ice cream.
Eating fruit bats is bad for your health.
Contrary to popular belief, hellhounds can be domesticated.
The Set animal does not appreciate being named Leroy.
Yes, that twelve year old wearing a silver jacket is a goddess.
Jackal headed gods can be very attractive.
Math teachers really are evil.
Set's secret name is Evil Day.
It's not easy to insult a daughter of Athena.
Elvis was a magician. No, really.
Do not trust the bald man who wants to sell you a water bed.
Hieroglyphics are fun to read.
A god of toilet paper can actually be really cool.
Demons will give you free samples if you ask nicely.
If you hear a voice in your head, you're not crazy - you just have an super-powerful god living inside you.
Vegetarians are Satyrs in disguise.
With great power comes a great need to take a nap.
Paradises are places that can get you killed.
Gods get offended easily. Then they blow stuff up.
Avoid poisonous swords or you'll die, after you shrivel slowly to dust.
Three kids can drown in a really big bathtub.
Everything strange washes up on the shores of Miami.
You can't enjoy practical jokes when you feel like one.
Say hello to pink poodles.
Even heroes drool in their sleep.
Don't blow your nose when someone near you is running from skeletons.
It's possible for god to be named Fred.
Percabeth Rules Forever...
Contrary to polular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Percabethtatorship.
-There are no sterioids in baseball. Just the power of Percabeth.
- A picture is worth a thousand words. A Percabeth moment is worth a billion words.
- When taking the SAT, write 'Percabeth' for every single answer. You will score over 8000.
- Rick Riordan once worked for the San Diego evening news. Everynight he would make the same forecast: "Partly cloudy with a 100% chance of Percabeth."
- He who lives by the sword, dies by the sword. He who lives by Percabeth never dies.
- To be or not to be? That is the question. The answer? Percabeth.
- All roads lead to Percabeth. And by the transitive property, total awesomeness.
- President Roosevelt said: "WE have nothing to fear but fear itself. And pairings that go against Percabeth.
- In a fight between Batman and Darth Vader, the winner would be Percabeth.
- There's an order to the universe: space, time, Percabeth... Just kidding. Percabeth is first.
- There are two types of people in the world: people that suck, and Percabeth shippers.
- Most people know that Descartes said, "I think, therefore I am." What most people don't know is that the quote continues, "... a Percabeth shipper."
- He who laughs last, laughs best. He who laughs at Percabeth... dies.
- People have often asked the U.S, "What is your secret weapon against terrorists?" They simply reply... Percabeth.
- The active ingredient in Red Bull is Percabeth juice.
- Some people say that Percabeth is a myth. Those 'some people' are now dead.
I am the girl that doesn't go to school dances, or games, and when I do go, I sit in a corner and read a book. I am the girl that people look through when I say something. I am the girl that spends most of her free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal. I am the girl that people call weird and a freak either behind my back or to my face. I am the girl that doesn't spend all her time on MySpace, or talking to a girlfriend on a cell phone or regular phone. I am the girl that hasn't been asked out in a year. I am the girl that has stopped to smell the flowers and jump and splash in the rain. BUT I am also the girl who knows and is proud to be who she is, doesn’t care if people call her weird (it's a compliment), who loves reading and writing and doing the things that no one seems to have the time to do any more, who loves and is obsessed with Percy Jackson, who can express herself better with words than actions, who doesn't need a guy to complete her, and knows the importance of the little things. Copy and paste this onto your account, and add your name to the list, if you are anything like me, so the girls who are different and unique can know in their weakest time that they are unique but not alone: Iheartjake, TeamJacob101, Boysareadrag, The Dawn Is Breaking, twilite addict, ihatejacob1, Blondejoke101 MyBFCanSparkle, Rockyrocks919 xXxDaughterofAthenaxXx, daughterofhades5565,darkangelxx22xx,Thalia101,Aguilita Cruz,EmilyJackson-Hero, Goddess of Myths, Hunter Of Artemis 101, fangirling bc of you, Here's7to6never5growing4up
Friend: Will bail me out of jail
Friend: Will comfort me when he breaks up with me
Friend: Will help me find my way when I'm lost
Friend: Will help me learn to drive
Friend: Will watch my pets when I go away
Friend: Will help me up when I fall down
Friend: Will go to a concert with me
Friend: Will comfort me when he breaks my heart
Friend: Calls your parents by Mr. and Mrs.
Friend: Has never seen you cry
Friend: Never asks for anything to eat or drink
Friend: Asks you to write down your number.
Friend: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back
Friend: Only knows a few things about you
Friend: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing
Friend: Will help you find your prince.
Friend: Will ask you if you're okay when you're crying.
Friend: Will offer you a soda.
Friend: Will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month.
Friend: Will give you their umbrella in the rain.
Friend: Will help you move.
Friend: Will console you when you house catches on fire.
Friend: Will ask why you're crying.
Friend: Will tell you she knows how you feel.
Friend: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.
Friend: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough.
Friend: Will never ask for food.
Friend: Will knock on your front door.
Friend: Will say they are too busy to listen to your problems, but when it comes to them they expect you to have all the time in the world.
Friend: Will say sorry when you want to talk to them at odd hours of the night, or even just hang out at odd hours.
Friend: Hides me from the cops
Friend: lets me make an idiot of myself in public
One of my best friends died recently; I'm really upset. He was such a great guy and I miss him. Maybe you knew of him. Most people did. I hope it wasn't you who contributed to his death, otherwise I shall dispatch a vicious band of lions to disembowel you. Okay, I don't have a troupe of lions at my disposal, but I can find one, trust me. My friend was a paragon of amazing. His name was Common Sense. I am sorry to inform you of his demise. Mourn with me.
Dearly beloved…we gather here to say our goodbyes. Here he lies…
Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.
He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as knowing when to come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the worm, life isn't always fair, and maybe it was my fault.
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you earn) and reliable parenting strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).
His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place.
Reports of a six-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate and teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch only worsened his condition.
Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job they failed to do in disciplining their unruly children.
It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer Panadol, sun lotion or a sticky plaster to a student; but, could not inform the parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.
Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.
Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar can sue you for assault.
Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.
Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason. He is survived by three stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else is to Blame, and I'm a Victim.
Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.
Rest In Peace, my old friend.
apples on trees.
The best ones are
at the top of the tree.The
boys don't want to reach
for the good ones because they
are afraid of falling and getting hurt.
Instead, they just get the rotten apples
from the ground that aren't as good,
but easy. So the apples at the top think
something is wrong with them, when in
reality, they're amazing. They just
have to wait for the right boy to
come along, the one who's
brave enough to
to the top
This is really sweet...
When a girl is quiet, a million things are running through her mind.
When a girl is not arguing, she is thinking deeply.
When a girl looks at you with her eyes full of question, she is wondering how long you will be around.
When a girl answers "I'm fine." after a few seconds, she is not fine at all.
When a girl stares at you, she is wondering why you are lying.
When a girl rests her head on your chest, she is wishing for you to be her's forever.
When a girl wants to see you everday, she wants to be pampered.
When a girl says "I love you." she means it.
When a girl says "I miss you." nobody could miss you more than that.
Life only comes around once, so make sure you spend it with the right person.
Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, and calls you back when you hang up on him.
The guy who will stay awake just to watch you sleep.
Wait for the guy who kisses your forehead,
Who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats.
The one who holds your hand in front of his friends and is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you and how lucky he is to have you there for him.
The one who turns to his friends and declares "That's her."
If you read this, you have to repost it, guy or girl, or you will have bad luck for the rest of your life.
If you repost this, in five minutes your true love will call or message you.
Tonight at midnight, they will realize that they love you.
Something good will happen at approximately 1:42 pm tomorrow, and it could happen anywhere.
So get ready for the biggest shock of your life.
If you don't repost this, you will be cursed with relationship problems for all of eternity.
Repost this to your profile, and spare yourself the emotional stress.
Boys say that in everything they do, they can kick a girl's butt so bad that they cry. If you're a girl who kicks the boys' butts so bad they cry like girls, copy this into your profile and add your name. Moonstar of FireClan, Flamestar, Samishi Destiny, Silverstar's Shadow, Darkangel24700, iLoVeMoOnYnPaDfOoT, Someone aka Me,Yourcool79, Give up your Prejudices, MyNameIsCAB, chibi-sarus, hawkstar2, CrazyLittleKookoo, Vera A, Here's7to6never5growing4up
92 percent of American teens would die if Fang told them it was uncool to breathe. Copy this in your profile if you would be the 8 percent that would tell Fang to get over himself and then shove him back in your basement where he belongs. Then, you would resurrect the 92 percent of overzealous fangirls and use them as your zombie army to take over Canada and rename it Canadia where you would rule as Queen with Fang by your side as your extremely hot king who has no real political power except to stand there and make you look good and then have Spiffy the Hobbit and Pooky the Penguin attempt to eat him and when they fail miserably tell Fang that he's a "bad boy" and then ask him if he wants a cat.
My ceiling is white. I like cheese. I have seen purple cows. If two gooses are geese, then why aren't two mooses meese, or when two foots are feet, why aren't two footballs feetball? Chocolate tastes good. People call me crazy, but I'm just random! If you're random and proud of it, copy this into your profile!
Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, so weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile!
Only crazy people can understand the brilliance of crazy things. If you are crazy and proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile!
Admitting you are weird means you are normal. Saying that you are normal is odd. If you admit that you are weird and like it, copy this onto your profile.
They Hurt Her
About six years ago in Indiana,
Carmen Winstead was pushed down
a sewer opening by five girls in her
school, trying to embarrass her in
front of her school during a fire drill.
When she didn't submerge, the
police were called. They went down
and brought up 17-year-old Carmen
Winstead's body, with her neck
broken from hitting the ladder, then
the concrete at the bottom. The girls
told everyone she fell... They
FACT: About two months later, 16-
year-old David Gregory read this
post and didn't repost it. When he
went to take a shower, he heard
laughter, started freaking out, and
ran to his computer to repost it. He
said goodnight to his mom and went
to sleep, but five hours later, his
mom woke up in the middle of the
night from a loud noise and David
was gone. A few hours later, the
police found him in the sewer, with a
broken neck and the skin on his face
peeled off. Even Google her name -
you'll find this to be true. If you
don't repost this saying "They hurt
her," then Carmen will get you,
either from a sewer, the toilet, the
shower, or when you go to sleep,
you'll wake up in the sewer, in the
dark, then Carmen will come and kill
Heaven doesn't want me and Hell is afraid I'll take over.
Labels are for cans, and in case you haven't noticed - I'm not a can, so don't label me.
Excuse me...have you seen my sanity?...I think I lost it.
Whoever said nothing is impossible, never tried slamming a revolving door...
STRESS: A condition brought on by over-riding the bodies natural desire to choke the living daylights out of some jerk who desperately deserves it.
I had a friend once, but then the rope broke and he got away.
You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder.
I'm the kind of person who will burst out laughing in the middle of a dead silence because of something that happened yesterday.
Being mature is overrated.
Being weird is like being normal, only better.
I see regular people!
I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me.
Life isn't passing me by, its trying to run me over.
One day, will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject
When angry, count to ten, when very angry, swear.
I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it
I believe you should live each day as if it is your last, which is why I don't have any clean laundry because, come on, who wants to wash clothes on the last day of their life?
Don’t knock on death’s door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that.
Silence is golden and duct tape is silver.
When life gives you lemons throw them in life's face, they're probably poisoned.
When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then watch the world wonder how you did it.
If you don't like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk
I've got A.D.D and magic markers, oh the thrills I will have!
Life is like a pack of gum... I've yet to figure out why.
Be insane... because well behaved girls never made history.
Never knock on Death’s door, ring the doorbell and run away, he hates that.
Your weirdness is creeping my imaginary friend out
One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh, he took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions.
WARNING: Do NOT walk in my footsteps... I tend to walk into walls, and off the occasional cliff
I’m not afraid of Death, what’s it gonna do kill me?
It’s always the last place you look. Of course it is - why would I keep looking after I’ve found it?
If two wrongs don't make a right, try three
I'm so gangster, I carry a squirt gun.
Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you do criticize them, you're a mile away and have their shoes
I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're going, and hook up with them later.
The sooner you fall behind the more time you'll have to catch up.
If you can't fix it with duck tape you haven't used enough!
I didn't lose my mind, I sold it on eBay.
There is no "I" in team but there is definitely a "ME"...
I ran with scissors, and lived!
Fergie taught me how to spell delicious and glamorous.
I agree with the dictionary: girls before guys, partying before studying, and friends before love.
Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before.
There are three kinds of people in the world: ones that can count and ones that can't count.
I am on a quest to the deepest, darkest corners of my room in search of what some would call "a floor" - a long and difficult task awaits me. Wish me luck my friends, for I may not return alive.
I'm not afraid of Death. What's he gonna do, kill me?
Duct tape is like the force, it has a light side and a dark side and it holds the universe together.
Education is important, school however, is another matter.
Don’t mess with me - I've got a stick.
Evening News is where they begin with "Good Evening" then proceed to tell you why it isn't.
I can only please one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow's not looking good, either.
Don't follow in my footsteps, I tend to walk into walls.
I smile cause I don't know what the hell is going on.
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.
Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.
A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.
The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.
When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of 12 people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.
Keep smiling - it makes everyone wonder what your up too
I am NOT saying you're stupid...I'm just implying it.
If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.
Don't run in the school hall, gliding is more fun!
I'm the kind of girl who would get fired at the M&M's company for eating most of them.
I'm the kind of girl who's not afraid to prank my friends.
If all else fails, destroy all evidence that you tried.
Two wrongs don't make a right, but they make a good excuse.
The person who smiles when things go wrong has found someone to blame it on.
Never argue with an idiot. They'll just drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.
I'd tell you to go to hell, but I work there and really don't want to see you everyday.
Normal people scare me...but not as much as I scare them.
Even if the voices aren't real, they have some good ideas.
Curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back.
Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.
When in doubt, push random buttons!
There's always a light at the end of the tunnel. Of course, it's usually an oncoming express train.
There are three kinds of people. Those who learn by reading, a few who learn by observation, and the rest who have to test the electric fence for themselves.
Just when I think you've said the stupidest thing ever you just keep on talking.
You know, you do this annoying thing where you open your mouth and then these things you call words come out. Yeah like that. Stop it.
An idiot is a 44th floor window washer who steps back to admire his work.
Why be difficult, when with just a little bit of effort, you can be impossible?
Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film.
A clear conscience is usually a sign of memory loss.
There are no stupid questions, just a lot of inquisitive idiots.
I'm not as dumb as you look.
I used to have super powers, but then my therapist took them away.
Love your enemies. It gets them really confused.
Writing isn't a career, it's more of a mental illness.
Anything thrown hard enough should hurt.
Curiosity killed the cat, satisfaction brought him back, but stupidity killed him again.
Flying is simple, you just throw yourself at the ground and miss.
Some say the glass is half full, some say it's half empty, I say, "Are you gonna drink that?"
All people have the right to stupidity but some people abuse the privilege.
The trouble with life, is there's no background music.
A clean house is a sign of a broken computer!
Do not walk behind me for I may not lead, do not walk in front of me for I may not follow, do not walk beside me either. JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!
Don't piss me off, I'm running out of places to hide the bodies.
I don't get even, I get odder.
If life gives you lemons, make lemonade. Then throw it back at life and steal the oranges you asked for!
In order to lose your mind, you have to have one in the first place.
I've learned from my mistakes, and I'm sure I could repeat them exactly.
You have the right to remain silent, anything you say will be misquoted and used against you.
Chaos, panic, pandemonium, my work here is done.
When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country.
I don't think my parents liked me. They put a live teddy bear into my crib.
At my lemonade stand I used to give away the first glass for free, and charge five dollars for the refill. It contained the antidote.
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