Author has written 5 stories for Erec Rex, Percy Jackson and the Olympians, and Kane Chronicles.
MY MISSION IS TO ADD HUMOR INTO THE FANFICTION WORLD!!!!
Well, thank you to browse by my profile, I hope I'll make you laugh. And for some reason I have a new addiction for Artemis Fowl:)
Name: Are you a stalker, hmmm...?
Appearance:Short raven black hair and black eyes.
Personality:Around new people; I am known to be shy, quite and aware. Around the people I know well...I am the opposite. I'm known for my randomness.
Sibling/s: 1. Actually, I call my dog my sibling. What? The name is Belle, a Chow-chow.
School:Colegio de san Ignacio, Where every child is a winner (and being called crazy is a complement.)
Books: Erec Rex, Magic thief, Percy Jackson, Ranger's Apprentice, Nightmare Academy, Books of Umber...and a lot more...
You know you’re obsessed with EREC REX when… (Bold means you done it.)
1)You once stuck your hand in the toilet (Ew.) to find a scroll.
2)Every time you see a hot dog stand, you give the owner 30$ and say “There is more to earth, wind, and sea. Old magic remember me.”
3)Every time you see a silver tray, you ask for food and expect it to appear.
4)Every time you turn on the flash light and try to write some thing at the fan of the light.
5)Every time you go to sleep you hold random stuffs and try to “change your dreams”.
6)Every time you see a ball, touch it and expect it to transform into an animal.
7)You call your fat sitter “Mrs. Smith?”
8)You treat your clock, tooth brush, coat rack and toaster as in there alive.
9)You want to own a glass eye.
10) You call a head ache or stomach ache “cloudy thoughts”.
11)You admire clowns and ask if the “clown fairy” was doing okay.
12)You think/KNOW cats have ninety lives.
13)You praise cats for rescuing Erec.
14)You think of the person you miss and put on reading glasses.
15) Every time it’s hot you wish you had “Under wear”.
16) Every time you see a sheep you say “Dollick?”
17) You now despised the song “Mary Had A Little Lamb.”
18)Every time you hold a ball you ask a Yes or No question.
19) Every time you put on a cap try to “vanish”.
20) Every time you wear sneakers you expect to run faster or not make a sound while running.
21) You try to figure out what’s your “Gift” is.
22) You try to use your “Dragon eyes” to see the future.
23) You made your own “Amulet of Virtues”.
24) You tried using your door as Port-O-Door.
25) You tried making your watch make you hear a person far away.
26)You start to call your cat “Cutie pie” and your dog “Wolf boy/girl”.
27) You think your dog will turn wolf when it’s full moon.
28) When you insult some one you use “Bone head”.
29) Every time you see a snail you pick it up and expect “Snail Mail”.
30)You keep on rereading the p.698.
31)You think that your ring will transform into a portal.
32) You call a deer a “bee-hind”.
33)You call a lion a “Manticore”.
34)And a pig the “Twrch Trywth”.
35)You open a scroll and ask for the truth.
36)You asked pine trees for directions.
37) Every time it’s someone’s B-day you sing Hermit’s version of the B-day song.
38) You press a random button on your television remote and say stuff like ‘Aeiro’, ‘Anastrepho’, ‘Akamptos’, etc.
39) You stay away from people who have eye patches. (NO OFFENSE!)
40)You study Greek, Roman, Egyptian, Norse, Celtic mythology.
41)You tried making music from your body parts (Hi, Melody!)
42)You repeat quotes from the Hermit in timesJ
43)Some/All of user names are either “ErecRex”, “Bethany”, “Aoquesth”, “ErecRexRox!”, etc.
45)You wished you could get your hands on every book!
46) You reread it sooooo many times that you almost/really memorize it! J
47)Your signature is your name with a crown on the last letter and your last name!
48)You HATE dragon slayers! Kyron doesn’t count!
49)Your lucky number is 12.
50) When you meet a person that’s like reading, the first thing you say is… “Did you try reading Erec Rex?”
51) You forced every friend/family mem to read the book. (Even my Parents?:3 Yeah.)
52) You laugh whenever someone says "behind" (Bee-hid).
The EREC REX Pledge!
I promise to remember Erec when one is a good bro/friend to me.
I promise to remember Bethany when ever I am asked a math question and I’m filled with glee.
I promise to remember Jack when ever I’m watching Animal Planet.
I promise to remember Melody when ever I’m playing an instrument such as the clarinet.
I promise to remember Oscar when I spot valuable things.
I promise to remember Tina when I learn not to judge a book by its cover, even monstrous things.
I promise to remember King Piter when ever my father is with me.
I promise to remember Queen Posey when ever I am near sea.
I promise to remember King Pluto when one is sneaky.
I promise to remember June when my mother and I are bonding.
I promise to remember Aoquesth *Sniffs* when one makes sacrifices for others, like thee.
I promise to remember Patchouli when one is generous to me.
I promise to remember Jam when I am prepared and ready.
I promise to remember the Hermit when one is acting/being crazy.
I promise to remember Griffin when I read stories about pirates or the seas.
I promise to Connor Flanagan when one is pretending to be.
I promise to remember Cutie Pie when I see a fluffy kitten.
I promise to remember Wolf boy when I see the full moon.
I, [insert full name] will promise to remember Erec Rex,
No matter where I go,
Funny parts from: EREC REX
“Oh, no,” said Erec. “More aniballs. Let’s grab one fast before another rhino charges.”
Bethany’s eyes lit up. “Maybe I’ll get another kitty friend for Cutie Pie. Or a hamster!”
“Lunch for Cutie Pie,” said Erec. Erec& Bethany. (p.131, Dragon’s Eye, 1rst book!)
*In Erec's Dream: Her claws were sharp. She turned into a tarantula, and scuttled across his face—
Erec awoke from something spiky moving on his face. A big bug? He brushed it away, sending a sand crab spinning to the cave floor.
The Hermit giggled. When Erec focused, he saw the Hermit was holding another crab in his hand. “Was that a nice addition to your dream, Erec Rex?”
“So I need to bring a mynaraptor with me to Jakarta. That’s in Upper Earth. I can’t imagine what people there will think when they see it.”
The Hermit said, “People see what they want to see, and hear what they want to hear. Unfortunately, smell is a different matter all together. And most of them have no taste at all.”
Erec ignored this comment.
and A LOT more...just too lazy...
Quotes from: EREC REX
“The best way to walk into a nightmare is with a smile.”-Hermit, the three Furies (4th book).
“That’s all there is to life, you know. Fun things, we just need to remember to enjoy them or we waste it all.”-Hermit,
“‘No time better than the present,’ I always say. Or was that, ‘Nothing is better than a present’? I forget.” – Who else? The Hermit…
PERCY AWESOME JACKSON STUFF
Doesn't every true fan of Percy Jackson have this on their page?
Perseus Jackson. Savior of Olympus.
Electricity. That's what will shock you if you mess with Thalia Grace.
Riptide. Percy's lethal ballpoint pen.
Clarisse. That's who will go after you if you beat her in a battle. (And you don't want an angry Clarisse. It's bad enough when she's not angry.)
Yellow duffle bags. Helped Percy, Tyson, and Annabeth.
Jason Grace. Thalia's "lost" little brother.
Annabeth Chase. Percy's girlfriend and official architect of Olympus.
Chiron. Trainer of heroes.
Kaleidoscope. What Piper's eyes look like to Jason.
Son of Neptune. The book we couldn't wait for.
Olympus. Home of the gods.
Nemesis. Ethan's mother. Don't worry, she's not getting her revenge on his death.
Atlas. Zoe's father.
Never back down. The phrase that reminds me of TLO.
Dionysus. The god of wine. (More like the god of Diet Coke.)
Thalia Grace. Hunter of Artemis and daughter of Zeus.
Hephaestus. The father of our favorite fire boy. ;)
Empathy link. What Grover and Percy have. Saved Grover's life a couple of times.
Officers. The immortal skeletons dressed up as officers.
Lupa. The she-wolf we all want to know about
Morpheus. The god of dreams. Put NYC asleep during TLO.
Persephone. Kidnapped wife of Hades. Believes every hero is brave and wants to give them a chance.
Illiterates. Many kids believe some of the demigods are illiterates.
Artemis. Goddess of the Hunt. Has hunters, including Thalia.
Nothing lasts forever. Even the gods.
Switched. Percy and Jason are switched. Jason at CHB, Percy at Legion Camp
The Percy Jackson pledge:
You Know You’re Obsessed With Percy Jackson When…
There’s a thunderstorm going on and you scream, “CALM DOWN, ZEUS!”
Every time you use the Internet, you thank Hermes.
When you see Harry Potter, you think of Percy with glasses.
You burn food to see if it smells good.
You see an owl, you go, “Hi Athena!”
Everyone else is creating a Twilight family and you create a PJO family.
You go on a cruise and you hope the boat isn’t The Princess Andromeda…
You sometimes try to control water.
You don't read anything but PJO for 3 months.
You've gone to Google maps and looked up Camp Half-Blood’s address.
Even though not diagnosed, you claim you have ADHD or dyslexia and blame it
You yell "Annabeth!" everytime you see a NY Yankees hat.
You make the PJO characters on Sims, as Miis on the Wii, and other video
Anytime you see an orange shirt, you look at the front of it to see if it is
You are a PJO character for Halloween.
Recite lines randomly from the books.
When you see/hear about anything myhtology-related, you talk about how it
Buy anything New York or San Francisco-related.
You are suddenly obsessed with Adidas shoes because they have the Hermes
You claim that Percy IS real and lives in New York no matter how much your friends argue with you.
You have dreams about PJO characters/events (I always dream about more percabeth fluff!).
You carry a ballpoint pen in your pocket.(guilty)
That everytime you pick up a pen, you think it'll turn into a sword.(again guilty)
In the beginning of your first History class, you burst out "Will we be
You pretend (or actually) faint when someone asks "Who's Percy?"
When someone mentions the name Percy (like Percy Weasley) you scream
You are known to scream names of the characters at random times.
You've got any copy of any book
PERCY JACKSON QUOTES:
With great power, comes the great need to take a nap. Wake me up later." -Nico Di Angelo, THE LAST OLYMPIAN
"God alert! It's the wine dude!" -Blackjack (Percy's pegasus), THE TITANS CURSE
"Let us find the dam snack bar." Zoe said
"The dam snack bar?"
"Yes. What is funny?"
"Nothing." Grover said, trying to keep a straight face. "I could use some dam french fires."
"And I need to use the dam restroom."
"I do not understand"
"I want to use the dam water fountain."
"And. . .I want to buy a dam T-shirt." -Thalia, Zoe, Grover, Percy, THE TITANS CURSE
"Go chase a doughnut." -Percy, THE SEA OF MONSTERS
Deadlines just aren't real to me unless I'm staring one in the face. -Percy, THE LIGHTNING THEIF
I'll have a cheeseburger and-AHHH! My friend's on fire! Get me a bucket! -Jason, THE LOST HERO
Even before he got electrocuted, Jason was having a rotten day. -THE LOST HERO
"See, that's what happens to snow in Texas, lady. It-freaking-melts."--Leo, THE LOST HERO
You know how teachers always tell you the magic word is please? That's not true. The magic word is puke. It will get you out of class faster than anything else. -Percy, THE DEMIGOD FILES
"Well. . .See you."
"Hold up! you can't just run off."
"Sure I can." -Clarisse and Percy, THE DEMIGOD FILES
That's one good thing about sea serpents: They're big babies when it comes to getting hurt. -Percy, THE DEMIGOD FILES
It's great when you're a celebrity to squids. -Percy, THE DEMIGOD FILES
"It's all right. We just had a family spat."
"Family spat? You turned me into a dandelion!" -Persephone and Nico, THE DEMIGOD FILES
Now Thalia and Nico would have to haul my useless butt through the rest of the mission. -Percy, THE DEMIGOD FILES
''Maybe if we push her over." - Annabeth, The Battle of the Labyrinth
"Your a half-blood too?'
"Look, I'm really sorry about the band room. I hope they didn't kick you out or anything."
"No, no. Rainbows. Very macho." - Leo , The Lost Hero
"Annabeth! I said you could borrow the chariot, not destroy it." - Will, The Lost Hero
"Vulcan? I dont even LIKE Star Trek." Leo, The Lost Hero
"Aphrodite took my snowboarding jacket. Mugged by my own mom." - Piper, The Lost Hero
If you will always believe PERCY JACKSON is the best Greek hero of ALL TIME, copy/paste this on your profile!!!!
If you will always believe CARTER KANE is the best Egyptian hero of ALL TIME, copy/paste this on your profile!!!
IF YOU ARE AGAINST CHILD ABUSE, COPY/PASTE THIS ON YOUR PROFILE!!
If you have annoying siblings, copy/paste this on your profile!
If you're one of the few people who actually reads profiles, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing, or a combination of both, copy and paste this into your profile.
I promise to remember Artemis
Whenever I'm thinking hard
I promise to remember Holly
Whenever I’m called a wild card
I promise to protect nature
For the People’s sake of course
I promise to remember Julius
When my heart fills with remorse
I promise to remember Foaly
Whenever I see a sign that says ''Free Pony Ride''
I promise to remember Butler
Whenever a friend says they'll stick by my side
I promise to remember Mulch
Whenever a friend is scared of heights
I promise to remember Angeline
Whenever I meet someone that makes me feel alright
I promise to remember Trouble
Whenever I see an older sibling scold their younger brother
I promise to remember Opal
Whenever I see someone who hates all others
I promise to remember Artemis Senior
Whenever someone escapes death
I promise to remember Minerva
Whenever a girl wants to be the best
I promise to remember the Fowl twins
when my home is beginning to unsettle.
I promise to remember the magma chutes
whenever I see something melting metal.
I promise to remember Juliet
whenever a friend takes one for the team
I promise to remember Vishby
whenever I hear a frustrated scream
I promise to remember Doodah
whenever I see someone driving hardcore
I promise to remember the secret fairy chutes
whenever I see a hole in the floor
I promise to remember those who fought in the time stream
whenever I see someone go against the flow
Yes I promise to remember Artemis Fowl Wherever I may go
RANGER'S APPRENTICE STUFF
You’re obsessed with Ranger’s Apprentice when…(My version)
1.) You call every archer a “Ranger”.
2.) You call drugs “Warm weed”.
3.) You are learning archery.
4.) You are begging your parents for a horse.
5.) You dress up as a Ranger in Halloween or other characters.
6.) You wear a cloak and try to “camouflage” around your family/friends.
7.) You freak every time you hear the name Will or Horace, Alyss etc.
8.) You carry a bow and arrows and Saxe/throwing knives.
9.)You think/KNOW that being short is awesome!
10.)You call every person who owns a boat a “Skandian”.
11.)You name your dog “Shadow”, “Blackie” or “Ebony.”
12.)You call your horse “Tug”, “Alberlard”, “Blaze” or “Kicker
13.)You remember Halt every time a person is acting all Mr. Grumpy or someone is sea sick. *runs away from Halt’s arrows*
14.)You remember Will if some one learns not to judge a book by its cover.
15.)You remember Alyss when some one sticks up for a friend.
16.) You remember Horace when your enemy becomes your best friend.
17.)You remember Jenny when some one is a good cook.
18.) You remember Barron Arald when you don’t get some ones jokes.
19.)You love coffee with honey ;)
20.) You always hum/sing “Grey beard Halt”. *ducks from Halt’s knives*
21.)You try to learn how to play the lute *Will complains* Fine, fine the mandolin.
22.)Your favorite tree is an oak tree.
23.) You love to sneak around your family and friends.
24.) You raise your eye brow all the time.
25.)You day dream about meeting the Ranger’s and/or John Flanagan.
26.)You once cut your hair with your Saxe knife. O.o
27.)You’ll copy this. And treasure Ranger’s Apprentice foreva!
Ranger’s Apprentice Pledge!
I promise to remember Will every time I learn not to judge a book by its cover.
I promise to remember Horace every time my hate for some one is over.
I promise to remember Halt every time I get sick at sea.
I promise to remember Alyss every time some one is a good friend to me.
I promise to remember Jenny every time I tasted my mom’s cooking.
I promise to remember George every time I’m writing.
I promise to remember Evanlyn/Cassandra every time I read about royalty.
I promise to remember Gilan every time I’m laughing hysterically.
I promise to remember Erak when I’m on a boat.
I promise to remember Baron Arald when I don’t get one’s joke.
I promise to remember King Ducan every time I see a father and daughter bonding.
I, [insert full name here] promise to remember Ranger’s Apprentice where ever I go,
Treasure it with all my heart. Reread it over and over again, but most of all…I promise to be a Ranger no matter what.
Some quotes from Ranger’s Apprentice.
“Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit, it’s not even a wit at all.” –Halt
“A person who isn’t nervous is foolish or over confident.” –Halt
“Don’t keep on saying you’ll lose, or you might will.” –Halt
“You’re an apprentice your not suppose to think” –Halt
“That taught us how to block a sword with two knives. But what if an ax man's coming at me?"
“Sirrah, my companion chooses to engage you in knightly combat!" Halt said. The horseman stiffened, sitting upright in his saddle. Halt noticed that he nearly lost his balance at this unexpected piece of news.
PLeAsE pUt ThIs in yOu'Re ProFilE:
Mummy...Johnny brought a gun to school
Now you have two choices
Sorry, a little sad I know...
Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now.
We have enough youth, how about a fountain of SMART?
Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them. (True I could name a few idiots I would shoot.)
Out of my mind...Back in five minutes. (Back in 500, 000,000,000,000,000,000,000,hours...or maybe months)
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
"Diamonds are a girls best friend...because they're shaper then knives.(*smiles evilly*)
Be nice to your kids...They will pick out your nursing home.
Always remember you're unique...Just like everyone else. (Now I'm confused.)
Chaos. Panic. Disorder. My work here is done.(Yep.
Is it time for your medication or mine?
LOL!!!put this profile if you love to laugh!
Did you know that 98 of teenagers will not stand up for God, and 93 of the people that read this won’t repost it?
Jesus had no servants, yet they called him Master...
He had no degree, yet they called him Teacher...
He had no medicine, yet they called him Healer...
He had no army, yet kings feared him...
He won no military battles, yet he conquered the world...
He committed no crime, yet they crucified Him...
He was buried in a tomb, yet He lives today
Feel honoured to serve such a leader who loves us...
If you believe in the tiune God, Father, Son, and Holy Ghost
then copy and paste this in your profile
If you ignore him, in the Holy Bible, Jesus says...
"If you deny me before man, I will deny you before my Father in Heaven..."
Ways to Annoy people at the cinema:
Throw popcorn in the air and yell, "It's snowing!"
Go, "Oooooh..." whenever anyone kisses.
Clap when the good guy gets killed.
During the previews, yell, "Can you fast-forward it?"
Whenever the bad guy is doing something devious, say, "Watch out!"
Laugh very loudly at all the corny jokes.
Tell the man selling popcorn that the bathroom is flooding.
Yell out what is going to happen.
Wear a cape and when it’s your turn to get popcorn yell, "I'm Batman! Hahaha!" and run away.
Say that they cannot sit next to you because you invisible friend already is.
Dress for every movie as if it were the Rocky Horror Picture Show.
Use empty chairs next to you as catapults with candy. Aim at specific people behind you and see if you can hit anyone in the back row.
Wear 3D glasses. Complain loudly how bad the effects are.
Bring a flashlight. In the middle of the film do shadow puppets on the ceiling.
Bring a remote control. Complain that you can't change the channel.
Sit in the front row, the minute the movie starts run out screaming.
Every time a character's name is mentioned do the Richmeister. (for a guy named Nick say, the Nickmeister, the Nickenator, Nickarino...)
Bring a beach ball. Toss it around.
Try to start a wave.
Become a bookie. Take bets on who will die first.
Sit in the back and throw eggs at the projection window.
Every time someone curses cover your ears and scream, "No profanity!"
Sing with the theme music.
Bring and use your own air freshener.
At the ticket booth, request tickets for really old movies, "I'll have two tickets for the Goonies."
Throw spit wads on the screen. Try throwing them on the upper part of the screen so they can't get scraped off.
Pass around a collection plate and see if anyone contributes.
Point a laser pointer at the screen. Give the audience a laser light show.
Bring a book and a bright light. Start reading the book with the light on. When someone asks you to turn out the light, yell, "Shh, I'm trying to read!"
Use binoculars. Stare at the audience rather than the movie.
Bring a Nintendo laser gun. Shoot at the screen.
Clap loudly every time a person walks into the theater late.
When someone kicks the back of your chair, scream, "Ahhh, whiplash!"
Ask what the theater's return policy on popcorn is.
Ask the person at the ticket window, "Do you work here?"
Start a standing ovation at the end of the movie.
Quote all dialogue 4 seconds after it is said on the screen.
Get up frequently and leave the room while singing, "Let's all go to the Lobby to get ourselves a treat"
Every time there is a gun shot scream, "Hit the floor!” jump on the floor, and cover your head.
Wear one of those "cat in the hat" top hats.
Play musical chairs, getting up frequently and moving right next to someone sitting by them self.
Bring your own beanbag chair and sit in the aisle.
Before the movie begins, tape fart cushions to various chairs in the theater room.
Bring a portable air popper, pop your own popcorn.
Bring a water gun and shoot it at anyone who begins talking then say very loudly, "SHH!"
Before the commercials start and people are just coming in, shout so that people outside can hear, "I'M SO VERY SORRY! YOU'RE TOO LATE!"
Tie a cardboard box around your waist and walk up and down the aisles shouting, "Get your popcorn, peanuts!"
Cough really loudly right at the most important part of the movie, so nobody can here it, like when the killer's name is going to be said.
Laugh hysterically during the sad parts in the movie, cry during the funny ones.
Bring a pager or cell phone and set them off every 5 minutes, you can also set off a watch alarm if you have a loud one.
Say "Shhhhh" every 5 minutes.
Pass by a room that's showing a movie you've already seen, put your head into the room, and scream the ending.
Here's a rap I[I.HAVE.A.JACK.HAMMER] made up:
If you actually wasted valuable mintues of you life trying to read this, post this in to your profile.
If you are random and don't care, copy and paste this onto your profile
There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile.
92 percent of American teens would die if Abercrombie and Fitch told them it was uncool to breathe. Copy this in your profile if you would be the 8 percent that would be laughing your head off!
If you have your own little world, copy and paste into your profile.(Mine is not "Little".)
If you've ever busted a move/ burst into song, copy and paste this into your profile.Ever wondered why some grown teach us not to curse, but they curse any way?
40 Things to do in Class when you're Bored:
1. Try to develop psychic powers, then use 'em.
5. Think of new pick up lines. See if they work.
6. Pretend you're flying a jet fighter in the Gulf War.
Meaning of color and your Birthday!
1. Which is your favorite color out of: red , black , blue , green , or yellow?
2. Your first initial?
3. Your month of birth?
4. Which color do you like more, black or white?
5. Name of a person of the same gender as your.
6. Your favorite number?
7. Do you like Flying or Driving more?
8.Do you like the Lake or Ocean more?
9. Write down a wish (a realistic one).
When you're done, scroll down. (Don't cheat!)
1. If you choose:
Red - You are alert and your life is full of love.
Black - You are conservative and aggressive.
Green - Your soul is relaxed and you are laid back.
Blue- You are spontaneous and love, kisses and affection from the ones you love.
Yellow - You are a very happy person and give good advice to those who are down.
2. If your initial is:
A-K You have a lot of love and friendships in your life.
L-R You try to enjoy your life to the maximum & your love life is soon to blossom.
S-Z You like to help others and your future love life looks very good.
3. If you were born in:
Jan-Mar: The year will go very well for you and you will discover that you fall in love with someone totally unexpected.
April-June: You will have a strong love relationship that will not last long but the memories will last forever.
July-Sep: You will have a great year and will experience a major life-changing experience for the good.
Oct-Dec: Your love life will not be great, but eventually you will find your soul mate.
4. If you chose:
Black: Your life will take on a different direction, it will seem hard at the time but will be the best thing for you, and you will be glad for the change.
White: You will have a friend who completely confides in you and would do anything for you, but you may not realize it.
5. This person is your best friend.
6. This is how many close friends you have in your lifetime.
7. If you chose:
Flying: You like adventure.
Driving: You are a laid back person.
8. If you chose:
Lake: You are loyal to your friends and your lover and are very reserved.
Ocean: You are spontaneous and like to please people.
9. This wish will come true only if you re-post this in one hour as "Meaning of color and your birthday!" Without your answers and it will come true before your next birthday!
16 THINGS TO DO AT WAL-MART
1. Get 24 cartons of 2% milk and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.
2. Set all the alarm clocks in Electronics to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.
4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, "'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.
5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.
8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"
9. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.
10. Find at least ten different men employees and tell them to go to the men's restroom. Follow them and observe their confusion.
11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" or "James Bond" theme song.
12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.
13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"
14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream, "NO! NO! It's those voices again!"
15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!
16. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting, "I choose you!"
Repost this if you laughed or are planning to do any of these things!!!
33 Things to do in an Elevator:
101 WAYS TO ANNOY PEOPLE
1. Sing the Batman theme incessantly.
2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage."
3. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."
4. Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeep Bip..."
5. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.
6. Amuse yourself for endless hours by hooking a camcorder to your TV and then pointing it at the screen.
7. Speak only in a "robot" voice.
8. Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly.
9. Start each meal by conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub".
10. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 98 copies.
11. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.
12. Sniffle incessantly.
13. Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.
14. Name your dog "Dog."
15. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."
16. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think."
17. Claim that you must always wear a bicycle helmet as part of your "astronaut training."
18. Declare your apartment an independent nation, and sue your neighbors upstairs for "violating your airspace".
19. Forget the punchline to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a "real hoot."
20. Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with Lysol.
21. Practice making fax and modem noises.
22. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc:" them to your boss.
23. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
24. Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance.
25. Erect an elaborate network of ropes in your backyard, and tell the neighbors you are a "spider person."
26. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with the prophesy."
27. Wear a special hip holster for your
28. Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying more any moment.
29. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.
30. Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room.
31. Give a play-by-play account of a persons every action in a nasal Howard Cosell voice.
32. Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
33. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."
34. Drum on every available surface.
35. Staple papers in the middle of the page.
36. Ask 1-800 operators for dates.
37. Produce a rental video consisting entirely of dire FBI copyright warnings.
38. Sew anti-theft detector strips
39. Hide dairy products in inaccessible places.
41. Set alarms for random times.
42. Order a side of pork rinds with your filet mignon.
43. Instead of Gallo, serve Night Train next Thanksgiving.
44. Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a "croaking" noise.
45. Honk and wave to strangers.
46. Dress only in clothes colored Hunters Orange.
47. Change channels five minutes before the end of every show.
48. Tape pieces of "Sweating to the Oldies" over climactic parts of rental movies.
49. Wear your pants backwards.
50. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints by the cash register.
51. Begin all your sentences with "ooh la la!"
52. ONLY TYPE IN UPPERCASE.
53. only type in lowercase.
54. dont use any punctuation either
55. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.
56. Pay for your dinner with pennies.
57. Tie jingle bells to all your clothes.
58. reapet everything someone says, as a question.
59. Write "X - BURIED TREASURE" in random spots on all of someone's roadmaps.
60. Inform everyone you meet of your personal Kennedy assassination/UFO/ O.J Simpson conspiracy theories.
61. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, its gone now."
62. Light road flares on a birthday cake.
63. Wander around a restaurant, asking other diners for their parsley.
64. Leave tips in Bolivian currency.
65. Demand that everyone address you as "Conquistador."
66. At the laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks.
67. When Christmas caroling, sing "Jingle Bells, Batman smells" until physically restrained.
68. Wear a cape that says "Magnificent One."
69. As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
70. Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling, as they read.
71. Pretend your computer's mouse is a CB radio, and talk to it.
72. Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "no, wait, I messed it up," and repeat.
73. Drive half a block.
74. Inform others that they exist only in your imagination.
75. Ask people what gender they are.
76. Lick the filling out of all the Oreos, and place the cookie parts back.
77. Cultivate a Norwegian accent. If Norwegian, affect a Southern drawl.
78. Routinely handcuff yourself to furniture, informing the curious that you don't want to fall off "in case the big one comes".
79. Deliberately hum songs that will remain lodged in co-workers brains, such as "Feliz Navidad", the Archies "Sugar" or the Mr. Rogers theme song.
80. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head. like a parakeet.
81. Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day.
82. Leave your Christmas lights up and lit until September.
83. Change your name to "AaJohn Aaaaasmith" for the great glory of being first in the phone book. Claim it's a Hawaiian name, and demand that people pronounce each "a."
84. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
85. Chew on pens that you've borrowed.
86. Wear a LOT of cologne.
87. Listen to 33rpm records at 45rpm speed, and claim the faster speed is necessary because of your "superior mental processing."
88. Sing along at the opera.
89. Mow your lawn with scissors.
90. At a golf tournament, chant "swing-batabatabata-suhWING-batter!"
91. Ask the waitress for an extra seat for your "imaginary friend."
92. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.
93. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions, and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something
94. Stare at static on the TV and claim you can see a "magic picture."
95. Select the same song on the jukebox fifty times.
96. Never make eye contact.
97. Never break eye contact.
98. Construct elaborate "crop circles" in your front lawn.
99. Construct your own pretend "tricorder," and "scan" people with it, announcing the results.
100. Make appointments for the 31st of September.
101. Invite lots of people to other people's parties.
9 Things I Hate About Everyone:
1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.. I know where my watch is pal, where the heck is yours?
2. People who are willing to get off their butt to search the entire room for the T.V.. remote because they refuse to walk to the T.V. and change the channel manually.
3. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". yeah right! What good is cake if you can't eat it?
4. When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the heck would you keep looking after you've found it?! Do people do this? Who and where are they? !
5. When people say while watching a film "did you see that?". No Loser, I paid 12 to come to the cinema and stare at the fricken floor.
6. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?". Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya sunshine?
7. When something is 'new and improved!' Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it, couldn't be new.
8. When people say "life is short". What the heck?? Life is the longest darn thing anyone ever does!! What the heck can you do that's longer?
9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here?
Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin?
post this on your profile if you hate justin beiber, think he sounds like a girl, think he's 5 years old, and only has his music to make fun of him. also if your not one of those die-hard fans that travel hours to see him, cry when he sings, and never wash your hand when he touches it in a concet. add your name if you hate JB: KNDnumbuh007, rachpop15, buddygirl1004(all 5 of us!), In the Closet Fanfic Reader, FantasyFreak-DragonNerd,
If you hate people who swear becouse they think its cool, copy and paste to your profile.
If you have EVER yelled at a TV after getting frustrated at someone who can't hear you, put this on your profile.
Drugs are bad news. Spread the word.Too many people are on crack. If you're not, copy this into your profile
Too many people smoke marijuana. If you don't, copy this into your profile.
If your idea of fun is reading, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you hear voices of the characters in your head...copy and paste this on your profile
If you shiver at the thought of cigarettes, cigars, alcohol, pot, drugs, or anything like that, and it gives you nightmares copy and paste this into your profile.
Now...make a wish.
Wish REALLY hard!!
WISH WISH WISH WISH.
Your wish has just been received.
Copy and Paste this into your profile in the next fifteen minutes and...
Your wish will be granted.
Sites to visit when bored: (Good for all ages!)
(\_/) PUT THIS ON YOUR PROFILE
(' . ' ) IF YOU HATE
(")_(") ANIMAL CRUELTY
This is bunny. Copy and paste this bunny into your profile to help him gain world domination. MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!(do it now)
Bunnies shall rule the world!!!
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