The Kazekage of Suna
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Joined 06-12-12, id: 4053782, Profile Updated: 07-27-15
Author has written 8 stories for Naruto.

I'm the Kazekage of Suna, and my dream is world domination. I have a wonderfully annoying assistant by the name of Chibi. My life goal is to take everyones soul. I am most likely older than you, but not older than 21.

You may address me as Kazekage, Overlord of the World, God of Suna, God of Journal Entries, Sand God of Sunagakure.


High School Guide I made on Wattpad: A Girl's Guide to High School

Translations:

Signed: From Your Not So Loyal Author" will now be accepting translations.

Translation Versions:

Spanish: Firmado De su no muy leal autor

Polish: Podpisano od nie tak ojalnego autora


Generic and Boring Information about me:

Age: 17

Favorite Book: And Then There Were None by Agatha Christie

Favorite Movie: Batman: The Dark Night Returns or Avengers

Favorite Superhero: Batman (fight me)

Most commonly used phrases: "that's not my job..." "So...issue"

Dislikes: I HATE when people act pretentious on this website like damn calm down I don't care if your story has 5,000 favorites it doesn't change the fact you're annoying.

Likes: My favorite type of person is one who makes other people smile.

Information regarding my stories: Some of these I started 3 years ago and they are embarrassing, but I clearly liked them at that time so I will keep those as long as I don't re-read them.

PM's: I respond a lot, I promise, but it's a little hard to keep up. Do NOT message me asking for me to join some weird website, read all your stories, your friend's stories, or your grandma's.

And for the love of god. I won't marry you. Please don't. People stop sending me that shit.


"Quit acting like you're perfect. All bitches have glitches."

"Here's to another year of pretending to like you people..."


My Forum:

Ask Gaara

My Wattpad:

Pretty Please Paradise

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Cinnamon Bun Crunch by Nesha1 reviews
Prompt: "You were trying to reach for a box of cereal and a whole shelf's-worth of cereal boxes fell on you here let me help".
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,830 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 25 - Follows: 10 - Updated: 15h - Published: 5/22 - [Naruto U., Hinata H.] [Bolt U., Sarada U.] - Complete
Legend by Infamous Storm reviews
He had no family, no talent, and a giant maniacal fox stuffed in his gut. He was a loser. Despite all this, Naruto Uzumaki had a dream, inspired by a goal. Nothing would stop him. He would go farther than the eye could see. For better...and for worse. AU. Mysteries abound. "Suspension of Disbelief" required because of absurdity. Time-Travel.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 6 - Words: 26,280 - Reviews: 170 - Favs: 353 - Follows: 455 - Updated: 7/11 - Published: 8/13/2014 - Naruto U., Kyuubi/Kurama
Fanficers Guide to the Galaxy: Cliches by xxYou-shall-be-my-Squishyxx reviews
My name is Aiko Hanashi and my goal is to humorously point out all the cliches I've noticed in my years a fanficing.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 34 - Words: 17,657 - Reviews: 877 - Favs: 264 - Follows: 249 - Updated: 7/9 - Published: 12/27/2011 - Naruto U.
The (not so) Grateful Departed by The High Queen Of Angst reviews
"Have you ever been stabbed in the back? By someone you trusted with your very life? A partner? A friend? If the answer to this question is no...then count yourself among the fortunate. But...if the answer is yes. Well...then you might be able to empathize with my resentment." Disclaimer: I don't own Fruits Basket or the movie R.I.P.D.
Fruits Basket - Rated: T - English - Crime/Drama - Chapters: 9 - Words: 19,374 - Reviews: 50 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 7/3 - Published: 3/21 - [Tohru H., Yuki S.] Akito S., Kyo S.
Bless This Mess by Ino Yamanka reviews
Hinata accidentally confesses her love to Gaara on an email meant for Naruto, Naruto sends a drunk text to Sakura professes his love. This may be high school, but mistakes like these are life ruining to some students.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,587 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 23 - Updated: 6/22 - Published: 7/25/2014 - Naruto U., Sakura H., Hinata H., Gaara
Naruto's Father's Day by Zeref the Dark Mage reviews
Naruto honors his father and the three men in his life whom have influenced him greatly in his life. One-shot.
Naruto - Rated: K - English - Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 534 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 6 - Published: 6/21 - Naruto U., Kakashi H., Iruka U. - Complete
The Marriage Mirage by Ino Yamanka reviews
After having her memory erased, Hinata is convinced that she is the wife of the Kazekage, Gaara, in order for her to move on from Naruto and for the sake of the villages' alliance.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 498 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 10 - Published: 6/16
Spectrum by The Ramen Club reviews
And all of a sudden, it's the little things that start to matter the most. Their hand gestures, the words they utter most often, the song they hum while cleaning the dishes. And you want to be present in all those moments. The clock is ticking much faster. You want to grab all those seconds and keep them safe in a box. You want to steal time.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,058 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 7 - Published: 6/11 - Shikamaru N., Temari - Complete
This is why Ninjas don't have Internet by insomniasucks reviews
Everyone just really hates each other. Crack.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 16 - Words: 9,901 - Reviews: 125 - Favs: 40 - Follows: 44 - Updated: 6/6 - Published: 8/31/2012 - Ino Y., Naruto U.
Firmado: De su no muy leal autor by the Hokage of Konoha reviews
Esto es una traducción de 'Signed: From your not so loyal author' al español, originalmente escrito por The Kazekage of Suna. This is a translation of Signed: From your not so loyal author' to Spanish. Originally the story was written by The Kazekage of Suna. (Go check out the original version) Enjoy!
Naruto - Rated: T - Spanish - Humor/Family - Chapters: 3 - Words: 404 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 6/4 - Published: 5/20 - Gaara
Gaara the Cat by istoleyoursandwichcuziampotato reviews
It has come to Hinata's attention that her new friend Gaara acts like a cat. An oversized ginger cat with panda eyes.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 3,409 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 23 - Updated: 5/25 - Published: 5/16 - Hinata H., Gaara
Like A Dream by Athrna reviews
The first vol. of a Naruto interquel (canon until ch664). A brave take on the missing info. Summary inside. There is no such thing as coincidence, but only a series of man-made accidents lining up and falling like a chain of never-ending domino. Itachi's bitter love story, Kakashi's rough shinobi journey, Shisui's final resolution, Naruto's forgotten childhood, Sasuke's lost bonds.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 37 - Words: 174,065 - Reviews: 263 - Favs: 223 - Follows: 320 - Updated: 5/19 - Published: 2/12/2013 - [Itachi U., OC] Kakashi H., Shisui U.
Hands of Time by Duesal Bladesinger reviews
The creation of an ascended being puts a strain on reality. A little too much effort on his part or even just a slight loss of control may very well result in a tear—a warping of time and space itself. Unfortunately, Naruto and Sasuke have to pay the consequences. [Time-Travel. Warring Clans Era. No Yaoi. No Bashing.]
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Drama - Chapters: 7 - Words: 38,124 - Reviews: 479 - Favs: 1,225 - Follows: 1,595 - Updated: 9/3/2014 - Published: 7/21/2013 - Naruto U., Sasuke U., Kyuubi/Kurama
Walking In the Rain by Reluctantly reviews
A Gaara/Sakura One-shot. Temari calls Sakura over to Suna, but when the pink haired kunoichi shows up with Temari no where to be seen, who invites her inside with the rain pouring down on the tired pinkette? Hope you enjoy.
Naruto - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,167 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 27 - Follows: 9 - Published: 8/11/2014 - Sakura H., Gaara - Complete
My Desert Lily by Kilalahinanaruto555 reviews
Gaara had a friend once and he never expected to see her again. Years later, she pops back up in his life, and turns it upside down. Secrets follow her, and Gaara is reluctantly pulled into the middle of it yet is determined to help his friend. Will love bloom in the desert? Or will secrets of all kinds put a stop to it? Read the prologue first!
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Romance - Chapters: 34 - Words: 202,578 - Reviews: 120 - Favs: 60 - Follows: 52 - Updated: 6/25/2014 - Published: 8/21/2011 - Gaara, OC
Innocence by honeybeeze reviews
A story about an awkward red-headed customer and a shy cosplay waitress. Includes nosebleeds, cleavage, and love. AU drabble series.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 64 - Words: 11,738 - Reviews: 351 - Favs: 131 - Follows: 175 - Updated: 2/21/2014 - Published: 7/2/2012 - Hinata H., Gaara
The Life and Times of the Kazekage's Assistant by Kitty Slap reviews
Imamura Tsubasa has no idea what she's in for when she becomes the Kazekage's assistant. All she wanted was to be a councilmember by 25 but it seems to be impossible when Temari becomes quite demanding of her and her life becomes a hectic hell. GaaraxOC
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 33 - Words: 189,430 - Reviews: 674 - Favs: 413 - Follows: 426 - Updated: 10/25/2013 - Published: 7/6/2008 - Gaara
Signed From: The Awesome Jashinist , Hidan by Envyyyy reviews
The challenge by Kazukage of Suna :P I couldn't help it :D ! Hidan find a stack of paper and a pencil so ... what does he do ? Write a damn diary / journal thing of course ! Rated T for Hidan's cursing !
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 5 - Words: 2,639 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 23 - Follows: 13 - Updated: 8/5/2013 - Published: 12/16/2012 - Hidan, Akatsuki
The Benefits of Amnesia by Bullwinkle's Lady reviews
After developing amnesia in Konoha, Hinata is sent back to Suna, unaware of her life there, or that she's married to the Kazekage. GaaraHina, some SasuHina, slight KabuHina and NaruHina.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 17 - Words: 38,783 - Reviews: 721 - Favs: 570 - Follows: 332 - Updated: 5/2/2012 - Published: 1/15/2010 - Gaara, Hinata H. - Complete
The Obsession by Desert.Moon reviews
Takara grew up hearing tales of "the child-monster," who ate small, badly behaving children. The day she turned six, she discovered that the child-monster was actually a child: Gaara. Now, an unhealthy obsession has been born...
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 117 - Words: 203,331 - Reviews: 1641 - Favs: 703 - Follows: 402 - Updated: 1/29/2012 - Published: 1/29/2008 - Gaara, OC - Complete
A Matter of State by shelvesinthecloset reviews
After Gaara's siblings decide its in his best interest and Suna's if he gets married, a leaf kunoichi is picked and a marriage is arranged. Can Ino and Gaara find love despite the circumstances?
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 14 - Words: 44,276 - Reviews: 196 - Favs: 178 - Follows: 43 - Updated: 7/22/2008 - Published: 4/13/2008 - Gaara, Ino Y. - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Signed: From Your Not So Loyal Author reviews
I, the Kazekage, am being forced to record my daily "struggles" and "thoughts" into an inanimate object called a "diary". I prefer the term journal, thank you very much. *NOW AVAILABLE IN SPANISH AND POLISH*
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 163 - Words: 22,524 - Reviews: 3124 - Favs: 710 - Follows: 582 - Updated: 21h - Published: 11/3/2012 - Gaara
The Akatsuki Therapy Center reviews
Everyone they've ever terrorized is about to receive a free, not so friendly, therapy season. Crack fic.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 462 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 31 - Follows: 32 - Updated: 6/20 - Published: 6/18
Impressing Hinata's Father reviews
100 word drabbles on how to win over Hinata's father. NaruHina fluff.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 13 - Words: 1,300 - Reviews: 129 - Favs: 75 - Follows: 68 - Updated: 6/16 - Published: 6/27/2014 - [Naruto U., Hinata H.] - Complete
Operation: Fall in Love reviews
On the night of Hinata's 21st birthday, Hiashi instructed one man to propose to her. No matter what method he had to use as long as it didn't harm her. Even if that meant waiting until she got drunk... and popping the question. It was time to move on from the boy who decided to date her friend, and with a little free help from his siblings, Operation: Fall in Love is undergo.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 10 - Words: 20,264 - Reviews: 132 - Favs: 62 - Follows: 89 - Updated: 6/7 - Published: 7/25/2014 - Hinata H., Gaara
Signed: From The Sand Siblings reviews
Sequel to: "Signed From: Your Not So Loyal Author" After Gaara having his journal violated by his siblings, they all agreed it was time to have a family journal...and you could say that this idea may not have been the best...
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 31 - Words: 4,939 - Reviews: 473 - Favs: 257 - Follows: 291 - Updated: 6/7 - Published: 4/23/2013 - Gaara, Temari, Kankuro
Sasuke Won't Stop Making Sex Jokes reviews
Sakura is sick and tired of her husband making sex jokes. One shot.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 508 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 24 - Follows: 8 - Published: 5/24 - Sasuke U., Sakura H. - Complete
How to Piss off the Naruto Cast! reviews
A series of unfortunate events that the poor cast is put through... Chapter 44: Krunk Kazekage
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 46 - Words: 4,923 - Reviews: 523 - Favs: 155 - Follows: 127 - Updated: 10/13/2014 - Published: 9/3/2012 - Complete
How to Trick People Into Thinking You're Good Looking! reviews
The Naruto Cast has some advice in this trickery!
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 24 - Words: 1,110 - Reviews: 307 - Favs: 135 - Follows: 109 - Updated: 8/8/2014 - Published: 10/6/2012 - Complete
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