Crystal Silvera
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Joined 06-20-12, id: 4072066, Profile Updated: 03-20-15
Author has written 19 stories for Warriors, Deltora Quest, Rowan of Rin series, Harry Potter, Young Wizards, Unwind, Last Unicorn, 39 Clues, Misc. Books, and Hunger Games.


The short URL to the Google Form is here:

The backup short URL to the Google Form is here:

Yet another backup URL, if those don't work:

Happy submitting! :D Be creative as you like!


I am putting all my stories—except the ones I'm co-writing or beta reading—on "unpredictable" hiatus. What I mean by that is I can't get on FF that often anymore (as in, I can barely manage once in three or so days) and I just don't have the time to write. "Unpredictable" is there because I'll still try to update them, as I'm as anxious to get to writing the good parts as you all are to reading them, but I can't guarantee the quick updates I used to have. My endless apologies to those who have now put me under their "writers to kill for not writing" section of their hit list . . . I will still co-write, beta read, and read/review other stories as best to my ability, but I just don't have enough time. Again—I'm so sorry about this! I feel like I'm ditching all my friends and fellow same-fandom obsessers . . . Luckily I can still co-write and beta read and PM and so on, but barely. Ugh. T.T

Plus . . . I'm working on my original story. Yeah, talk about procrastination . . . More details about my story (temporarily titled) Sidewinder at the bottom! (And not to put anyone off but . . . I got another idea for an original story. A good one. [I knoooowww!!!!] So, even though I have no idea when I'll be starting that one, it will distract me for quite a while.) And only to mock me, another idea appeared out of thin air and now I am suffering from mental turmoil. (Oddly enough, both these side ideas took the forms of titles: One is Tear/Tear and one is Flyaway. . . .)

NOTE: For those few of you reading and looking forward to updates on The First Four, I've put that on official hiatus. I mean . . . I can try to update it, but I can't guarantee anything even close to a new chapter. I'm really sorry and I do apologize to everyone!

(But maybe, just maybe, I may start on The Fate of Four, the third book in the trilogy . . . Which is bound to be much more interesting . . .)

Now, for something positive!

So . . . guys, I have an idea. :) {ignores tortured wails}

I brewed this idea some time back, but the problem is that it strongly resembles a challenge. And I am currently in no shape to write up a "reward" if the challenge ensues.

So this isn't really a challenge, but it kind of is at the same time . . .

Okay. I'm going to subtitle it the Quote Gallery Challenge for now, but keep in mind there's no real reward.

The challenge is to (correctly and accurately!) collect quotes from a fandom. It must represent its respective fandom well; it must be organized and accurate; and it must, must, MUST credit the quote's owner. (If you don't follow that last rule, I am so not going to be held legally responsible when the author's / creator's / copyright holder's / artist's lawyer(s) come after you.) The goal, ultimately, is to present these quotes in a way that draws more people into the fandom. (So everyone who's in a fandom that's smaller: Here's a way to make it bigger!) I'm pretty sure that everyone knows it's often the little things that make you interested in something—and no, I am not providing examples.

A nice "variety guideline" would be to include quotes that are . . . : funny (and try to make it not just funny to the fandom, but to everyone outside it as well); insightful; true (believe it or not, the true quotes are the ones that appeal most); include word play; or are just plain interesting. Another factor is what it covers: make sure the material isn't pointless or stupid, or makes the reader wonder Why'd I come here, again . . . ?

But I think the most important thing is to have fun with it: after all, you're showcasing your own fandom. And another thing is to do as many as you'd like. The more the merrier . . .

Oh, before I forget: My disclaimers.

Now, I am NOT Scholastic or Jennifer Rowe or Diane Duane or anyone like that. I only own what I have written, OCs, plots, summaries, and ideas included, and the rest of the franchises shall go to the publisher and their rightful owners. Sooo authors, publishers, admin, anyone: Please don't come after me screaming, "YOU DIDN'T CREDIT US IN YOUR STORY!!!" . . . Yeah. I'd rather not get sued, thanks very much! And I would also very much appreciate it if no one chose to take my ideas and call them their own. (I've heard horrific stories about writers on here who'd had their stories copied under a different pen name. *Shudder* I can only hope that never happens to me! . . . And you can bet that when I find out, oh boy.)

OFFICIAL VERSION FOR OFFICIALS (or anyone who identifies with such a term) TO READ: I, in no way, claim ownership to the franchises, characters, universes, and other such copyrights / intellectual/creative properties of which I write for. No profits are being made from said writing, and all ideas and creations I may borrow belong solely to their rightful creators and owners. I am (as the saying goes in our wonderful network) merely "playing in someone else's sandbox." The sandbox (and more than likely the toys as well) belong to the copyright owners. I am me, so perish the thought that I'm pretending to be them! (Over. . . .)

(All that was just a safeguard. I highly doubt that I'll get accused of piracy / violation of intellectual rights / idea-stealing when my work is classified as, y'know, fanfiction. The name says it all, folks . . .)

"One mistake cannot ruin a life or a kingdom. It is what is done after that mistake, that decides. Remember the lessons of history. Despair is the enemy. Do not let it defeat you . . ."

—Zeean, The Sister of the South; Emily Rodda / Jennifer Rowe (Deltora Quest: Dragons of Deltora arc, also known as Deltora Quest 3, book 4)

Hello everyone! Welcome to my epic (and super-long) profile! Honestly, you guys seriously have no idea how often I wonder about who's reading this. I'll update this every time I get onto FanFiction (or, I'll try to)—and for other users out there, this is an excellent place to get some copy and paste stuff: witty and wise quotes, random truths, weird/funny stuff, and fandom-relative creations are among the many. Anyway, check back as often as you want (since there will always be something new, removed, or changed!), and good luck reading! :D

(And I'll just pre-apologize for any errors or typos or whatever messups you will find here. Just saying. Half of this was written when I was thirteen. Please keep in mind not one hundred percent reflects what goes through my head today, as that is a constantly shifting puzzle. Thank you and have yourself a wonderful rest of the day!)

—Crystal Silvera

CURRENT STATUS ON MY STORIES (also see the top of my profile . . .)


Now posted: Unwritten (archive: Unwind) and Gravity (archive: Young Wizards). . . . I'm actually really satisfied with the way both of these turned out. :D (For once!) Both are normal-length one-shots (okay, well, Unwritten is actually rather long . . .) and very much in the "deep end" of the archive pool. (Well, it's me writing. What did you expect?)

NEW NEW NEW NEW NEW NEW NEW! (I'd stick in "EXTRA EXTRA READ ALL ABOUT IT" but that's just bland. :D) I finally uploaded the story I was withholding: Daymare. It's in the The Last Unicorn [book] archive, though I think anyone can read it. Rather angsty, but not as much as I thought it'd be. Anyway, R&R would be appreciated! :)

EVEN MORE NEW / FOR YOU IF YOU HAVEN'T READ The Last Unicorn!!!!! Unforgivable is now heeeerrreee! Written for the 39 Clues category and set after the canon (though it's not very obvious) and documents with much poetic-ness Amy's confrontation with the Tollivers and the Spilling Of The Truth. I am very proud of this one. GO READ IT.

AND NOW, FOR A LAST NEW FIC: I have finally completed Jungreich: The Ravens of Marchenwald!!! It is written for Adam Gidwitz's "Grimm" Trilogy, but it can technically be enjoyed by anyone. I really had fun writing this fic ('cos talking ravens are the freaking BEST) and hopefully you guys will too!

The First Four—Chapter eight yet to be started; on official hiatus, as previously stated (and also in the summary . . .)

When Truth and Lies Are One—Prepare to start dancing around the room because . . . I UPDATED!! Chapter Four is now here!

A Very Twisted Rithmere Games—Posted Chapter 6!

Calm Before the Storm (cowritten by Skystar5 and me)—Working on chapter four

Deltora Quest Reads Deltora Quest—GUYS GUYS GUYS EVERY DELTORAN WHO'S FOLLOWING THIS STORY: I UPDATED!! 8DDDD Read chapter two, The Belt of Deltora, HERE!

Current "main focus" story/stories: When Truth and Lies Are One, DQRDQ on the side

Under the "got a [faint glimmer of a] plot bunny, better scribble/type it down quick" category:

  • I have a faint glimmer of a plot bunny for a Divergent Trilogy fic, as the title just appeared to me a few minutes ago: Resurgent. (Yes, I shall continue the title tradition . . .) If I'll ever get to writing this one, I can just say that it will be very, very angsty and mourning and basically all the feelings that Allegiant left me with.
  • Come What Will. It's for DQ, as usual. (One that'll be short, I hope . . .) If that comes along, it will be an effort at profiling the Deltorans' stoic determination. (I can also sit on the scale and turn it into a more humorous take—determination to pigheadedness and mulishness and so forth—but I doubt it.)
  • I also just got a new idea titled Clockwork for the Giver Quartet, which is still a plot bunny that's in the [very] early stages of development . . . But it addresses the creation of Jonas's perfect community and others like it—and the rise of the crippled, twisted communities like Kira's. (Note: I've actually started writing this on my phone. XD)
  • Jungreich: The Ravens of Marchenwald; two ideas for Adam Gidwitz's (amazing!!) Grimm trilogy. (Can I call it the Grimm trilogy?) Mainly inspired by The Grimm Conclusion, "The Kingdom of Children." Powers, this book destroyed me. It practically fulfills every fan's deepest wishes: for the fourth wall to be broken. (A raven says "metafictional dimensions"!! How can I not? And, Adam Gidwitz, you have officially become Author of the Year. In my mind, anyway.)
  • ALSO, Dragonfriend4: I'm still working on it, don't worry!!! I know it's been two ages and a half, but I really am still editing those chapters you sent me! I promise, promise, promise I'll have it done, at the very latest, the end of April / the beginning of May. I'm so sorry it's been taking so long—don't give up on me! I AM CURRENTLY PUTTING IN FINAL TOUCHES (i.e. adding in the italics that FFN got rid of)!

    CURRENTLY I AM NOT ABLE TO GET ON OFTEN, SOOO . . . Don't expect me to update often. At all. Like, wait a week or two. Sorry!!! T.T I know, I know, I have a bajillion chapters I promised everyone . . . Ugh. Sorry, guys!

    If it comes to worst-case scenario, I'll give up my (more popular?) stories for adoption and discontinue the rest. (Highly, highly, HIGHLY unlikely. I'm not the sort who likes to give up months of hard work just like that . . .)

    However, I now have my own laptop (which I have to share with my sister) so I MIGHT be able to update faster! :D

    RECENT NEWS (. . . where I ramble about why I'm not on, "real life," etc., etc.)


    DON'T KILL ME!!!

    I know, I know, Thanksgiving break passed and now it's already like three days into winter break AND I STILL HAVEN'T POSTED ANYTHING— But! I have been working, it's just not up. FFN erased my work. MY SWEET HARD WORK. T.T

    However, such obstacles are to be overcomed (heheh, revel in my irony) and I am currently almost done with the next chapter of A Very Twisted Rithmere Games. A sample of the chapter ("Rithmere"*) is up on my [new] Tumblr account, acrystalraeoflight. (For future reference, I'm going to start posting sneak peeks and stuff there so my poor readers won't have to wait forever and ever. More info down under "General Information: Other Accounts" . . .)

    -*Title was changed once I actually finished the chapter and realized, Hey, at this rate I'll never get to the Rithmere reaping. Chapter five is "Never Forget." (And don't you forget it.)

    A brief (of sorts) on my life so far:

    School is out for now, and thank the Powers. I really needed a break, which is a blue moon for me. I love school dearly (or, at least, select aspects of it), so this is . . . wow. High school is harsh. (I can see where all the "OMG I HATE SCHOOL"-sort people are coming from now. I see it very clearly. You are not without reason.)

    I am currently physically trying to catch up on my well-missed sleep (missed due to getting up early and staying up late to study, finish homework, and drag myself to "zero period" band practices) as well as recovering from a cold. At least, I think it's a cold. (Feels more like when I got the flu in seventh grade . . .) Either way, my throat is miserable, my hacking coughs are irritating to both me and the rest of my family (especially Sea of Emerald, who claims I'm trying to infect her), and my voice sounds like a guy's. (No offense.) And the absolute best part is that this flu-cold-thing hit right when I got out of school. First day of winter break, and bam, my throat feels like sandpaper—if sandpaper can ache. I can't even yawn without it feeling downright painful. T.T

    I will definitely try to get on a lot more often. Try. My mother is convinced I am a lazy bum and will do anything to try to make me do more chores. (Doesn't help that just today she read us an article some Harvard person wrote dictating the ages at which kids should start learning certain tasks around the house. No offense to Harvard people—I have a deep respect for you all—but honestly? That article was the last thing I needed to hear, especially when my top priority is to get as much as I can done. I don't need my mom nagging me to stop staring at a computer screen every time I try. And the article felt super condescending, but probably because it was translated into Chinese.)

    A brief (of sorts) on what to expect:

    Definitely a few updates. I was disappointed at how little I got done last year when the Christmas/winter / New Year / Hanukkah/break season swung around, so this year I aim to do better. AVTRG is tops in my update order (for now), to be followed by When Truth and Lies Are One and maybe even Deltora Quest Reads Deltora Quest if I have time. ;D

    I hope to start dealing with my pile of PMs soon. It's staring me in the face, and I really need to get to it. Sorry, guys!! I did see them come in and pile up in my inbox, but with school and everything hectic, I simply didn't have a chance to respond. I will sometime over break, have no fear!

    I think that's it on what to "expect."

    Also, a quick note: Please keep in mind that if you want me to do something (e.g. beta read, review, offer sage advice, whatever), NAG ME ABOUT IT. REPEATEDLY. UNTIL. I. DO. IT. I think that's the only way now—such things are starting to slip my mind, no matter how many sticky notes I make.

    Thanks for sticking with me thus far, guys! 8D

    General Info . . . If you can call it "general."

    Oh yeah, warning: Some of this is ancient and was typed when I first joined this site, which is, to put it out there "roundingly" (sorry, I just did math and then got back to this . . .), circa summer of twenty-twelve. Which can also be identified as "age where my writing had not yet reached the style/skill I demonstrate today." So if this sounds weird, or OOC in the sense of my "normal" writing, or anything parallel to those: it was because I was, what, eleven? when I wrote all this. And I honestly don't have the time to go through it all and retype everything—as much as I would like to.


    Every name has a story, and my name underwent quite a few changes through its tale . . . So, a brief history:

    When I first appeared on FFN, I was known as dudanni5. After about a year or so (or maybe half a year; my memory can't be trusted) I decided this sounded unprofessional and inadequate and, quite frankly, kind of stupid. So I decided to change it—not knowing what else to change it to—to Crystal Silverdrift. Crystal had always been a favorite name of mine, and it always appeared in one form or another in my first (terrible) samples of writing. "Crystal" has a lot of history with me (involving a unicorn-pegasus/unipega named Chrystla, said Chrystla's story universe [which I began creating at around age six and still work on every now and then]), so it stuck. "Silverdrift" was the name of my first [consciously] conceived OC: a legendary medicine cat from RiverClan who supplied the central prophecy in my very first (consciously written) fanfiction, Destiny of Four. (Which, of course, I thought at the time was simply brilliant but now realize is simply bad. Not terrible. But bad.)

    However, Crystal Silverdrift only stuck for a day before I thought that it didn't properly reflect me: it only expressed my Warriors alias, but I wanted more. (At the time, Warriors was The Big Thing for me.) I felt (and always will feel) indebted to Deltora Quest for a first obsession, so I briefly wondered why I hadn't made a reference in my name as a nod to DQ—and changed it, again, to the name I use today. The last name—"Silvera"—is a nod towards "Silverdrift." Plus, I like the way it flows—and I like silver. . . . Of course, "Crystal Silvera" isn't the full name: my intended full pen name was Crystal Veritas Silvera, but I decided it was a bit long. I'll still stick in "Veritas" every now and then (Veritas, of course, referring to the wonderful Amethyst dragon from Deltora Quest [Dragons of Deltora]), but for now, Silvera'll do. (At least, until further notice. Who knows, I might change it to reflect Young Wizards at one point or another . . . But Powers. Imagine. Crystal Veritas Aurilelde Silvera . . . {shudder})

    For those of you who wonder about my profile picture/avatar . . .

    Okay, before anyone gets really confused: My profile picture/avatar will get changed every now and then (. . . in other words, whenever I get tired of looking at it, which should take awhile), but they'll always be cards from the horse game Bella Sara so you guys don't get confused—which I do not own, in any way. (SO THERE'S MY DISCLAIMER, BELLA SARA! Please don't sue me . . . !) Currently (check when I updated my profile to see just how current "currently" is!), it's Andromeda (Starlights series). I also don't use covers for my stories, so my profile picture/avatar will be on those as well.

    Other accounts. (And no, I'm not on much of those "social" . . . things. Do not try to find me on Instagram or Facebook or whatever else you think I may have—'cos you'll be getting blanks or random people with the same name. And no, that is not an invitation to start bombarding those poor, innocent people with questions about when I'll be updating . . . !)

  • I'm on Gmail as, in case anyone would rather email me than PM or something (plus, I'm [nearly] always available for a chat on there as well, if you'd like!).
  • I have another fanfiction site account (AO3, also known as Archive of Our Own) under the user Crystal_Silvera. I'm currently exporting all my FFN work onto that site, and editing it—so my AO3 stuff is actually . . . better. :P (And don't ask me "WHICH ONE'S BETTER, AO3 OR FFN????" Because I will say both. I love the formatting on AO3. I love the user-friendliness of FFN. I love the display of AO3. I love the population on FFN (and thus its many, many fandoms). But I hate the hassle AO3 makes you suffer to publish, I hate the fact that FFN often gets cluttered, and so they are balanced in such ways.)
  • I dabble on the YW forums every now and then (mainly viewing posts rather than actually posting) as Rae Silvera. (Rae_Silvera is also my user for Zooniverse, if anyone's on that site. For those who don't know: It's a website for citizen science. Really fun, actually!)
  • I'm also on YouTube, on that I made a "double account" or something alike—I'm not even sure what I did. Anyhow, I'll either come up under DeltoraRules or Aurilelde Veritas. (Ridiculously easy to tell which one's older and which one's newer . . .)
  • I recently made a Tumblr account (winged-defender-of-deltora), which will serve duly as a platform for my endless interests as well as (more importantly) a place for me to post sneak peeks and fragments of work before they actually get posted so my readers don't have to die. (Or do fragments make readers die more? . . . Hmm . . .) If you're unwilling to scroll through all the loads of random posts that's me, then you can go ahead and hit the Menu and go to "Fic Samples."
  • Also, I'm the sister of The Sea of Emerald (who changed her pen name; she used to be Lime Green Squirrel).
  • I also have a Fictionpress account under the same pen name, and I MAY post my original story on there. Maybe. Currently I'm spontaneously working on a short story idea (so far titled I Saw Dragons) that popped out of nowhere, so I'm trying to get that down before it goes away. (Hahaha . . . Like time'll allow that!)


    *The accuracy of these release dates CANNOT BE GUARANTEED, since I found 99% (okay, 100%) of them on the Internet! Although I'm pretty sure most of them are right . . . Reader beware!*

    Once-before-asked question: What's the book you want the most to hurry up and come out already? Well, see the bottom of the list . . . my ramble is there.

    December 30th, 2014—Release date for Moon Rising, Wings of Fire book six! 8DDD Seen the cover yet? It might just be my favorite. :D (Head on over to the Wings of Fire wikia . . . And don't laugh when your cursor turns into Starflight. I did. XD)

    I'm getting two dates for this one: January 19th, 2015 and May 18th, 2015—Maximum Ride Forever, book nine in the Maximum Ride series release! . . . Though after the disappointment of Nevermore, I'm not overly excited for this one . . . JAMES PATTERSON, IF YOU FLOP THIS ONE TOO, THE FANDOM WILL SCREAM BLOODY MURDER. {eye twitches}

    March 20th, 2015—Release date for the Insurgent movie!

    November 20th, 2015—Release of Mockingjay: Part 2!

    And I found out the Unwind movie and SandRider, TodHunter Moon Trilogy book two are both scheduled for sometime in 2015 and the next PJO movie (The Titan's Curse) is [tentatively] scheduled for October 2016. ;) Yes, I'm holding onto the slim hope of a next movie. Got a problem?

    FEBRUARY 2ND, 2016—Games Wizards Play!!!!! AHHHHHHHHH!!!!! {dies} 8D No other words necessary.

    June 24 thru June 26, 2016—Projected CrossingsCon days! 8D (I highly doubt I'll be able to go, though . . . It's in New York, for gosh's sakes. T.T BUT IT SOUNDS SO AMAZING!!!)

    Under the "released and I didn't realize until I took a long-overdue visit to the local bookstore" category . . .

    PathFinder, by Angie Sage: book one in the TodHunter Moon Trilogy, the spin-off series to Septimus Heap! :D The cover art is gorgeous as always. Ten cheers for Mark Zug!

    Atlantia, stand-alone (I think) by Allie Condie. Really like the cover/title design . . . summary sounds pretty interesting. I may give it a go, if my time allows . .

    And now, a bit of inspiration for all those aspiring writers out there and to all who may hear (or read):

    (All credit of this beautiful speech goes to Nic-n'-Nyx, and my own thanks to the profile of KJtheELMtree as I found it there!)

    To all other young fiction authors out there. Copy and paste if you wish. It just needs to be said, and needs to be heard;

    You may be a reject. You may not be smooth with the spoken word. You may be the most popular kid in school. You may be the boss at your office. You may be short or tall or heavy or light or anorexic or white or dark or struck by an unfriendly label. You may be the homeless guy on the corner or the one inside the store signing books as you hand them out. You may listen to Justin Bieber or to Three Days Grace. But what you are is a writer; never doubt the power of what you can do. Tell me, what did you learn more from this year; the President, or the Hunger Games? The senator or Rick Riordan? The public speaker or Clarissa Fray? Your boss or Pi Patel? American Idol or the Twilight Saga? A list of facts or Harry Potter? Which of them stole the most of your time? Which is more well-known?

    It's the book. Every time. People fail to realize flaws in our society in their own lives, but they see it in District Twelve and in the Capitol. Books make clear what we can't see with the naked eye, they make everyone look closer. Authors are the ones that speak to people's hearts. Writers are the ones people turn to for lessons and entertainment. It's been this way for thousands of years. We are the teachers of every child who opens a book. The themes we write are the themes they learn. We are there in every life, a quiet influence bound in a pretty cover, months' worth of work and reading, colored with imagery built around the lightning rod of an unforgettable plot line. A story spent months reading is memorable more than a speech listened to for just five minutes. I can't name all the leaders of the world right now, nor what they've decided to preach about, but I can tell you all the characters from Percy Jackson, and every little thing they taught me. And they are things worth learning.

    So don't think there's a better way to make a point. Don't think there's a better way to reach your audience. Fiction stories have been striking the hearts of their readers farther back than anyone alive can remember. And striking the heart is what makes literature so different from everything else. Don't ever doubt your ability to show someone something new, to teach them a life lesson, or the importance of what you have to say. Say it in this foreign language everyone knows. Decorate it with characters and light it with sights and smells and sounds and touches and tastes and give it to the public gift-wrapped with your finest effort. Because I guarantee you, someone is bound to hear you clearer than they've heard anyone else before.

    I hope you've found some words of inspiration. The world needs it desperately. Do us all a favor, all you writers, and come out of hiding. We've had the greatest influence of all over people of the past, and as we act now, we are the ones influencing the future. We have more knives and pens than the BVB Army, more sway in society than the Senate (whom we have proved this to before), more power than any celebrity you could name. I'm calling on you now. Rise up. I dare you to write something today that readers won't forget. I challenge you to make someone cry with one thin little page of text. I urge, no, I demand you to put something down on paper that'll be copied and produced and remembered for longer than Ancient Mythologies have been. I dare you to slam a revolving door. I demand you to write a message in the folds of a book and watch how, in awe, people unwrap it. Watch your footprints stand bold against the falling snow and refuse to be covered. It is all possible, I assure you. You have no idea just what power you hold in a pen—or a keyboard—until you use it.

    And right now, the world needs you to use it more than ever.

    We, writers, have made history. We were the ones to record it. And that ability has not changed at all, just our awareness and will to use it. We were given the gifts of language and storytelling for a reason.

    This is that reason. It's calling. So ask yourself what message you want to send. Ponder about what you want to say. Because the world is listening to us above all other beings currently on this earth. Us, not the movies, not the official-labeled politicians, not the superstars. And it's our job to give it a story worthwhile.

    What's yours?

    I'm putting this here because it's under Skystar5's account, but I'm co-writing . . . :D

    Title: Calm Before the Storm

    Series/Category: Warriors

    Status: In progress

    Summary: Magic is in the air. StarClan tricked, darkness rising, one hero from each Clan will rise from the shadows and wait— Where's ThunderClan's hero? The element of air is missing, with time running out. Love and betrayal, hopes and dreams, forgotten cats will rise to the surface in a battle that puts them all at risk.

    I got rid of my "Upcoming Fanfictions" heading because, well, I haven't been able to get on much lately. So I have no idea if I'll even be able to finish my current stories and get annoying little one-shot ideas out into cyberspace. T.T

    Yep, I'm just as depressed about that as you are. I might become more active next summer . . . ? (Ah, wishful thinking . . . who knows.) Although, I do want to do quite a few one-shots and a HP/YW crossover. And finish my Faith in the Stars Trilogy. . . . Oh boy.

    EDIT: Currently though, I have a possible (as in, very possible as I'm that kind of if-I-don't-feel-like-it, I-won't-write-it person for chapters) upcoming fanfic. (No, not the one-shot I told you all about. Something even better!) Soooo be on the lookout for Entropy's Running and Nothing Is Forever! (Yeah, the title might be changed. Might.)

    EDIT TO EDIT: The story (Entropy's Running and Nothing Is Forever) was scratched, due to the author's lack of a good plot bunny. Or the plot bunny ran away. Either way, said author / I hit block a few hundred words into the first chapter—never a good sign. I shall stick to, for now, writing/finishing my already-started stories and side-project one-shots . . . Though, if time and Powers permit, I may throw myself at the idea again at a later date.

    *If anyone would like to use/adopt any of my ideas (which aren't posted on FFN), please PM me for the summaries, permission, extra info on plot bunny, characters, etc! Same goes for my OCs, which you can find if you read my fics, since I pretty much have entire stories of them and I am way too lazy to list all of them. Main ones . . . eeeehhh. Just go see for yourself. Please. XD Besides, I don't like posting every little detail about my characters on my profile. It just makes them too—fake. And to me that's a total invasion of their own respective privacy.

    (Although, I will tell you the OC that represents me most is Dragon / Ambershine / all her other names from Belonging Only to the Wild. ;D Or, she represents who I wish I am . . . As one of my bolder aliases, if you will.)

    ALSO, SEEING THIS CAME UP THE OTHER DAY: If anyone would like to submit a story request (i.e. you supply the story idea and I do the actual writing), I am available. The only term is that I can only "do" one-shots, drabbles, etc.—anything RELATIVELY SHORT. This isn't meant to offend anyone: It's just that time is a slippery eel and must be handled with care, because it comes and goes so very quickly and leaves me much less productive time than I'd like. . . . So I'm truly, truly sorry, but I really can't write that fifty-chapter story for you. (Though if anyone does ask / is thinking about asking for a fifty-chapter story, I'll admit I'm awfully flattered . . . because even I don't think my writing's that good. :P)


    Writer problem #877: When you have a clear beginning and ending, but have no idea how to develop the story.

    —Just-Writer-Problems (via Tumblr)


    FanFiction is a huge part of my life. Some may think it's weird, some may think it's silly. Well, I think they're weird and silly. FanFiction is important to me because it allows me to take characters and settings that I know and love, melt them all down, and then re-forge them in my own way. I get feedback on my writing, play with other universes and realities that I enjoy so much, and it's a great way to practice and develop my writing for the other ten or so novels I'm working on as well. So yes, FanFiction is a massive part of my life. It helps me escape. Post this on your profile if this fits you!

    (Which is why SOPA had better not be active again, because that means the destruction of my passion and that of very many others . . . And I actually do know quite a few people who are complete bibliophiles but have strong opinions against fanfiction. It is an odd feeling, at first, to be reading about those characters and worlds and customs you think you know so well in a non-canonical style and, well, story. I think that one great thing about fanfiction though is that by reading only the canonical works, the characters and settings seem almost stiff and immovable, that canon is all that there will ever be and all that you, the reader, will ever know. Well, fanfictions reverse that theory and make them flexible, real people/creatures/embodiments/objects—if you get what I'm saying. (Ah, me and my 1700s-style way of speaking . . .) Whenever I finish a new series and then scroll through the fanfiction archive(s) for it, I get that weird feeling all over again. But soon you get used to it and you start enjoying it, no matter how ridiculous the situation of the fic is or how absurd the plot might be . . .)

    Let's all go back to our first story. You'd signed up for your account, waited patiently for the waiting period before new users could post stories— And then,
    finally, you hit the post story button, and waited. Don't we all remember how excited we were when we checked the review count to see if we'd actually gotten a review? We didn't even care if it was a three-word "Good chapter, update" (even though we wished for more). And as the reviews came in, you felt that smile creep across your face. The excitement (however small) you get when you see the review count go up is always enjoyable.

    Are we really so cruel as to deny someone that feeling? It only takes five minutes tops. Swear to review: Join the Revolution!

    I, Crystal Veritas Silvera, do solemnly swear to review every story I read, regardless of the number of reviews, its age, or anything else.

    I have joined the Review Revolution.

    Copy and paste this into your profile to join the Revolution! (Because everyone knows how much it sucks when you have 500 hits and 3 reviews . . .)

    (So don't be surprised to get loads of reviews from me!)

    Okay, next . . . Here's the deal: About six months ago or so, I wrote a little speech on why reading is so important to us FanFiction users/writers/readers. I thought it was so amazing at the time (haha, aaaand now I don't; go figure), but I realized sometime later that I never said anything about that joy and pride we writers feel when we write. So here's what I have to say, and this is where you marvel at my precise word choice, my eloquence in general, and so very vast vocabulary. :D

    As for writing: It's that other side of reading. And, so it happens, it's also an overlooked passion that most people disregard with the same disdain as reading. Here's my copy-and-paste-ready message as to that:

    EDIT: I took it down. (Sorry!) But it's just not fitting anymore.

    The main problem (it seems/seemed to me) was that it wasn't really relevant—not for this generation, or this audience. I thought about it, and, well, the message strayed far from my original intention. It sounded kind of . . . insulting. Like those who aren't readers/writers are completely ignorant and disdainful and, generally, complete bigots. (Which, newsflash: they aren't.) If anyone wants to read something that matches the description above, well, it's not here. T.T (It was actually inspired by a quotation from an author found in my English / Language Arts textbook on the process of writing . . .)

    So this is what I have to say now: I saw/read this somewhere, but now I don't remember where: "Be tolerating of the illiterate, but intolerant towards the ignorant." (Or something along those lines.) I stand on a line: This is true, to a degree . . . because even the ignorant can choose to become literate, and so can the illiterate. Writers just happen to be the ones who made this Choice long ago, and revel in it every day by stringing words together. Others have already made their Choice and chose a different path, or are on their way to the crossroads. (. . . To borrow from my novel-in-the-works.)

    And besides, if I put it here, who'd see it?

    (Insert blank space for pondering)

    Not people who hate reading and/or writing, that's for sure. Of course I feel strongly that that hate shouldn't exist, but it's their Choice to make—and, sooner or later, they'll come to their senses and be able to tolerate it, at the very least. I—and very many of you here—are just early birds.

    And now, for a petition!

    To all of you who have been oppressed and have had your Submit your Own Tribute stories reported. WE ARE REBELLING! It's time to start governing our OWN stories and if these people can't leave us be, then we WILL strike back! There are far too many SYOTs out there for them to start reporting us now and if we don't do something about it, these stories will cease to exist. I am getting a petition going to show the mediators of that we want that rule changed for the peace of mind of us Hunger Game fans! If you're with me, please copy and paste the petition below onto your profile and type your pen name so that others will know you're on board. (And after you're done, please PM me so I know that you signed so I can keep an eye on this thing.)
    Once we hit 500 pen names, we'll aim for 1,000. Thanks to everyone for reading this and in the words of the great Katniss Everdeen...

    "Fire Is Catching! And if we burn, you burn with us!"
    Yours sincerely,
    Bittersweet Applesauce, the epic bookworm, Bittersweet Applesauce, The Epic Bookworm, Shadowming1998, Plancor, Rebel Autumn Summer, RuexxRose, Katniss Peeta Perfect, Maddie Rose, Sylvanna, Kateriffic, Team Cato, Hijacked Imagination, M0ckingjay, LostInTheWorldOfFiction, Lilithisanameilike, Bowserboy129, PrincessLily7777, Iwasscreaming LONG LIVE -HGMR i-am-foxface,WritingStoriesIsLife, ThisIsYourFinalWarning, Anais Maillou, Crystal Silvera

    Edit: I tried to PM the first person on the signatures list. . . . Their pen name doesn't even exist! What to do . . .

    And now, the code that commands us all (or, to a point):

    The 27 Commandments of Fanfiction

    1. Thou shalt not post a fic until it has been checked for grammar and spelling errors. The fanfiction gods hath given you a spellchecker on the computer for good reason. Use it.

    2. Thou shalt not post a chapter of less than one hundred words, unless it is a drabble. This displeases the masses.

    3. Thou shalt not put author's notes in the middle of the story.

    4. Thou shalt NEVER use text-speak in a fanfiction, unless the characters are actually texting.

    5. Thou shalt keep to one tense, and only one, throughout the story. Do not switch randomly.

    6. Thou shalt be consistent. Apply the above number 5 to point-of-views as well.

    7. Thou shalt not get offended when someone makes fun of the crack pairing featured in your fanfiction. It probably is rather hilarious.

    8. Thou shalt not use :(, ;), >:(, or any such facial representations in a fanfiction to show the emotion exhibited by a character.

    9. Thou shall attempt, at the very least, to keep characters in character.

    10. Thou shalt not treat every criticism as a flame.

    11. The author's note is not a place for exhibition your personal drama, and thou shalt not make it so.

    12. Thou shalt not put any form of the phrase "first fanfiction so be nice!" in thy summary.

    13. Thy created characters must not have names that exceed five syllables in length. Nor shall thy name have more than five words in length.

    14. Thou shalt not insert thyself into the story line as thyself or as a character. Yea, we know that thy be infatuated with thyself and are very narcissistic, but the masses require a tale of more substance than one in which thy ends up with the main character.

    15. If thou art writing a story that does not follow the original story line, point it out in the beginning.

    16. Thou shalt not make a person spontaneously smart or powerful unless stating a reason for the change (a good reason).

    17. Thou shalt show and not tell.

    18. Thou shalt not EVER use the phrase "I suck at summaries" in thine summary. This most displeases readers.

    19. Thou shalt not write the same way thou speak—writing is an art, a mastery of the language.

    20. Thou shalt ALWAYS be consistent when utilizing "okay" versus "O.K." And if thy doth indeed choose the latter, thou shalt always remember that it is an abbreviation and therefore capitalization of both letters is necessary. Thy must also keep in mind that periods are allowed, but that utilization must be appropriate and correct.

    21. Thou shalt only use clichés when thou (a) art writing a parody; or (b) aims to find or create a new and interesting twist to make such clichés bearable to thy reader.

    22. Thou shalt always separate dialogue from two separate speakers in two separate paragraphs. Otherwise thine readers shalt be very much bewildered and bemused. (Note: Double-check to make sure you know in which context "bemused" is being used here. . . . Thank you . . .)

    23. Thou shalt not EVER make a chapter all one paragraph. THIS INFURIATES BOTH THINE READER AND THE FANFICTION GODS. Thy gods have given thee an ENTER key with good reason.

    24. Thou shalt not write with thy caps lock on. It displeases the masses and causes thy readers to lose their vision and makes angels weep.

    25. Thou shalt know how to spell the character's names correctly before you writeth the fanfiction. Misspelling the name of the main characters makes readers angry and distracts from the story.

    26. Thou shalt not say in thine summary "summary inside." This shows lack of creativeness and infuriates the masses. The only exception is when a summary is cut short and a continuation of it lies inside.

    27. Thou shalt use paragraphs and space the story so it is not terrifyingly daunting to thine readers.

    (Now, here comes those rambles I warned you about:)

    I work really hard on all of my stories, so I usually will get quite annoyed at anyone who flames. Constructive criticism, however, is a very different matter—if you balance the bad with the good, I'll find it much more tolerable and will do my best to take the criticism to heart! But if you don't like my writing style, don't like my plot / absence of romance as a main focus / certain other things of my own opinions, then please do this writer a favor and don't leave a flame screaming, "OMG I HATED IT!!! I HATE YOU AND YOU AND YOUR STORY TOTALLY SUCK!!!" (Which, really, is what that first flame I received meant at heart. See ya in the Dark Forest, Guest! Ooh, and: Too bad unsigned reviews can be deleted!) Believe me when I say that if I get that unreasonable bias from anyone, I will go to any length to get rid of it and block the user. So what are you waiting for, random flamers who are weirdly on my profile? Scram, please! As for all the others, well, welcome!

    My opinion's changed a bit. If you're going to insult me, fine, do it in my face. Freedom of speech, right? But don't object if I decide of my own reasons to get rid of it, or to block you (which hasn't happened so far and for that I'm grateful), or to attempt reconciliation. And if you do, fine too. I'll either keep silent or work at it, depending on which approach I think suits. Though I would appreciate you/it a whole lot more if the flame gave me some kind of inkling on something I could improve on!

    Another thing having to do with the above is the fact that yours truly is not the most modest person in the world (like Twilight the wonderful Great Grey—GoG'H fans anywhere?). I take great pride in everything I write (with the exception of some serious junk) and I do not take that kindly to insults. I, however, also don't believe in revenge or anything (that much) so if I do pursue to ruin your life then—oh boy, you must've done something really offensive to me. And for something like that, I will take drastic measures, rest assured. (E.g. Stampede of Vraals, stuff like that! Oh, and did I mention? I have a pet named Fred, he's a Vraal! And a vicious one!) (But you do know I don't really mean that, right? Ruining lives isn't something I'm capable of. I simply lack the fire and venom. Unless provoked . . .)

    -Note: Sorry about that ramble-like bit. (And, looking back: I really named it Fred? Hah. There are no coincidences . . .)

    I read fanfictions involving pairings and ships and such, but I find myself absolutely unable to write them to date. Well, all right, I'm able to mix it in as a minor element, but whenever I read it over I tend to want to kill myself out of embarrassment at the absolutely horrible quality. (That made no sense.) However, I do respect the people who write them and their own respective pairings (seeing as I'm such a dud at it), so don't worry about that. Another thing is how everyone seems to obsess over whether or not they support the ship in the story. Well, this is how it works for me: If it's a ship I like, excellent, bonus for you! If not, it doesn't matter—the story will be judged by the story itself, not the pairing.

    As for pairing info . . . Well, I'm not a lover exactly of slashes of the same gender; I tend to avoid those. (And so far, I have.) Most of the time I agree with canon pairings, but sometimes I'll decide that there's a better character or the like and read a different shipping if I find the non-canon-ship story more interesting, or I just don't agree. Favorite ship? Ahhh . . . I dunno. They're all pretty much the same to me, as I also try not to take sides on "teams" in various fandoms. Oh, and I don't ever try to come up with "original" or "crack" ships. (The most popular example I can think of off the top of my head is Dramoine . . . which I find very strange. And I still cannot fathom the reasoning behind "Drapple(s)." Really! I just can't. . . . It's Draco and apples? So you're telling me you can actually ship a sentient, live, conscious human being with a non-sentient, not-alive, conscious-less inanimate object . . . ?—Then again, who'm I to declare what's animate and what isn't?) I can't even be bothered to try creating ship names. I'm not great at writing fluff, seeing as all I can do is copy what I've read. Well, not copy exactly. More like take the example, alter it to fit my preferences, and then write it. I'm still rather shifty about that though, so don't expect any pure romance/fluff stories from me. You'll have to squint to find it, if there's any at all. (Most likely, fluff will be vaguely implied, I guess . . . ?)

    Now, I know there's a lot of you out there who are very religious. I must tell you that I've no religion, but I do respect those that follow one and I don't stereotype or bias people by that. But PLEASE, I don't want to be preached to. Please. So my profile is religion-stuff-free. No offense or anything. . . .

    I don't really hate anything, bookwise. There are those people who think certain books get too "boring," too "creepy," etc. I'm not one of them. Well yes, sometimes I'll decide it a book is a bit over-the-top or I just don't want to read it anymore, but I'm rather easy to please. Mostly. Which is why I have way too many books on my to-read wishlist . . .

    The Twilight saga? . . . Well, since you can't really hate what you don't know, I'm planning on reading the first book. Wish me luck, my friends, for this is one journey from which I may never return. . . . (Okay, if you're a Twilight fan and on here, then . . . um . . . no comment. Read on if you want, but, well, let's just say I have some copy'n'paste stuff that might offend Twihards, with me being a HP fan. Don't say I didn't warn you!)

    To those LawlClanners or people who report or try to delete stories just because they broke a single rule: I have exceptions!!! If the fic is very well written despite the fact that it breaks (a) rule(s), I will make no move to report it and do quite the opposite. HOWEVER, if it's a fic that absolutely screams to be removed and/or pollutes the archive in any way, then believe me when I say the moderators will be hearing from me. That message was intended for LawlClanners especially!

    My computer use is quite limited, so don't be surprised when I get on for two hours, get off, then get on again an hour later. (Heh.) It really can't be helped. And recently, it's honestly a miracle I can get on at all . . .

    I am NOT one of those people who demand a certain amount of reviews/favorites/follows to upload a new chapter or reveal something in their profile (yeah, some people actually do that)! I think that's absolutely ludicrous, although I may use the amount of feedback I get as whether to continue the story or not.

    There's also a lot of series I read—and don't read. I'm trying to keep my brain from exploding from trying to remember all these things that I MUST know about certain stuff. O_o Not fun at all. You ever try to keep your brain from exploding? Don't. I guarantee it's not a good excuse to get out of school.

    I don't read things that contain (huge) spoilers (okay so basically, if you don't warn me beforehand I'll still read it . . .), extremely pointless fluff, "inappropriate-for-my-age"-sort fics (well, depends on my opinion), CERTAIN slashes or pairings that I don't support (once again, my opinion, so I won't be flaming you just because of that), (nearly) anything rated M or higher/worse, and I tend to avoid horror/angst fics unless the summary gets me. Oh yeah, and lemons. Seriously? . . . Sorry, but that is WAY out of my comfort zone. Just sayin'. Fluff and slightly content-ish fics (I'd say my limit's about the equivalent of this one book called Silver Phoenix: Beyond the Kingdom of Xia or something. Yeah. Don't read it if you're under, oh, fifteen) I can read but lemons . . . No. I don't need that kind of stuff mutating my thoughts. (How the heck does writing lemons improve your writing skills?! I know that's a popular belief out there but I honestly don't know. Oi . . .)

    I do not take sides unless I really support it. So basically, I'm a neutral all around, like Tom (DQ anyone? ;D). Especially when it comes to teams and what-other-annoying-things-not. Yes, I may lean towards one side of the argument, but no, I will not sign the petition or join you in storming the people who support the other side with rude PMs or anything. Well, unless you're doing all that in protest against certain LawlClanners or something. Just, no—and that's my final decision.

    Now, for a turn in the bio: A few things about my own fanfictions!

    I am always willing to receive and answer PMs, since it's nice to start conversation with other users of this site. You'll find me in a variety of fandoms/archives (as most people either can guess or know), because I read many series, and enjoy nearly all of them. (I'm quite easy to please. :) )

    My goals on Fanfiction: Have one of my fics become the most reviewed fanfiction in any archive (preferably DQ or YW), since I saw the a few that took the "most reviewed" place for the DQ book archive—and let's just say I'm not exactly liking it. (Yes, I'm rather competitive . . . When it comes to writing, anyway.) My second goal is to write a one-shot at the least for majority of the series or books I have read. Which might be a bit of a problem, seeing as I've read, well, a lot . . .

    Oh, and if you get a flame from me, I will ALWAYS have a reason for it. (Actually, now that I think about it, I don't exactly flame. More like, "I don't really like this story but I'll give you these reasons for it, and hopefully you won't take too much offense because my point isn't to offend, it's trying to help. (But even then please don't think I'm trying to make you look bad. I genuinely like helping other writers write, okay?") I'm not a dirt bag, Deltora help me if I am! I will only flame if the story is not properly written (i.e. chatspeak, improper grammar/spelling throughout the fanfiction/chapter(s), useless spamming [which I have seen!] , et cetera. [I won't mind script format as much, since I personally think it's rather illogical that FanFiction doesn't allow it. I will, however, "flame" script format if it uses any of the horrific techniques mentioned above]).

    I'm a sucker for funny fics, "what if" stories/one-shots, one-shots from another character's POV (well, depends on the plot), fics/one-shots that explain things that weren't explained in the book(s), fics with complex and deep plots, prophecies/fate/destiny and so on, and stories with strong, interesting, three-dimensional characters. Just so you know what I like to read. :) I also tend to write like so, but I'm working on the characters thing. Ooh, and I really like stories with deeper thoughts and themes and symbolism, stuff like that. Deep stuff. :P (I am in the Amethyst Tribe, after all: got full points!) And those amazingly neat ideas that seem to click in so perfectly into the canon just stuns me—it's the main reason I love reading one-shots.

    And fluff? Eh. Sometimes, if I'm in the mood for it. Depends on the pairing(s), summary, author, fandom/archive, etc., etc. . . . But yeah, I'll read it. As long as it doesn't have, you know, way too much content. (Cough. Lemons.) But I do read them, just not as constantly as the ones mentioned above. Usually one-shots or continuations / what seemed to be missing from canon, stuff like that. :) Aaaaaand there are those archives with nothing but fluff stories, so that rather limits my options doesn't it?

    As for what I write specifically . . . Well. I would say that I write the most amazing fanfictions in the world, but that's me, and you're not here for my opinion are you? (If you are, well, there it is for all to see.) Honestly? I try to write deeper than most I know—I try to include at least some symbolism in my stories, along with actual themes/author's messages (which most fics I know don't) and/or some kind of thing I want to express about life. Usually I do that for my longer, more continued fics, but I've also done it for various one-shots/short stories, like Belonging Only to the Wild and Rulers of the Sky, as well as my recent Crossings and Counting the Same Stars. (And now, in turn, Unwritten and Gravity. ;D) Though a lot of times, I do feel like writing random, totally pointless Powers-know-what . . .

    Generally, I like to write fics that pretty much are parallel to what kinds of fics I like to read (which is two paragraphs above). Destiny of Four, my first fic, was kind of a stab at seeing how great I was at writing fanfictions and, judging by everyone's amazing reviews (I didn't say so in chapter two and so on, but you guys are great people and I really do appreciate you all!!! 8D), I did a really good job of it. I still can't believe my first chapter, though; I don't know how I did it. I really don't. I guess it was one of those times when the genius within me chose to surface.

    . . . Okay, that sounded lame. (And totally proved that statement wrong!

    Edit: Well, I looked at it just a few months ago . . . And it doesn't seem that great anymore. XD Go figure. But still pretty good for an eleven-year-old, in my opinion . . .

    As for what's easiest to write for me, well, this is going to be odd but it's easiest for me to write Warriors fics. O3o Which is why I have the Faith in the Stars Trilogy for that and also my (if I must say so myself) rather successful short story Belonging Only to the Wild. . . . Which (for some reason) I am extremely proud of. I also think I'm pretty good at one-shots focusing on (a) different character's/characters' point of view(s), which is what my one-shots are pretty much centered around.

    Oh, also: another commonly asked question is, What in the summary will make you not want to read a story? Well, for me I'm usually kind of (haha, not really) lenient about that. However, if there are mistakes such as using periods instead of question marks (very common), wrong spellings of names/non-capitalization (even more common), ANY variation of "READ PLEASE I SUCK AT SUMMARIES!" anywhere in it (to me, that just says, Hey look, the writer's too lazy to even try at a summary!), and so on. And I'm sorry if that offended anyone, but that's simply the truth. It wasn't my intention to offend, so try not to take it too literally . . .

    Now that I'm nearing the end of this about-me section of the profile, I would like to put this out into the world: I, unlike many others, have established my beliefs and views of the world. So if I don't agree, or think of something a certain way, well . . . let's just say you've been warned, and that it's not likely I'll change those within a moment of notice. (On second thought, it'll probably take a few years if the argument's good enough. ;D) And one of those beliefs is that we are indeed the first generation to be able to create something for others and have it in millions of people's hands at the click of a button, and the first generation to be able to experience the incredible feeling that comes with it. Which is the main reason I love FFnet!

    A little random bit of info I discovered: the word "fan" originates from a Latin word meaning "insanely but divinely inspired." And as they say, nothing is a coincidence! Accurate, huh?

    IF ANYONE CAME HERE FOR ADVICE ON WHAT FICTION SERIES TO READ NEXT: I had a list on here for about a week. Then I got rid of it 'cause it simply didn't extend to fit what I needed. So all the central ideas of the series that follow below are listed right under their names. Hope it helps! :)

    One last warning: My profile is insanely long, although not as long as some people's. (Hello, Squirrel In A Top Hat. Or Otterhope. Or whatever your pen name is now. Her profile is WAY longer than mine!) So, read if you dare! (Wait, you're not leaving are you?!)

    "All good books are alike in that they are truer than if they really happened. After you finish reading you feel as though all that you read about has happened to you, and those feelings are forever yours to relive through another read: the good and the bad, the ecstasy, the remorse, the sorrow, the characters and places . . . and how the weather was."

    —Derivative of . . . something . . . I saw online. (Curse this memory!)

    I think that's all . . . NOW FAVORITE SERIES WHOSE ARCHIVES I WILL DEFINITELY BE ACTIVE IN (unless it's an archive I'm still rather new to—that may take awhile)!

    WARNING: BIG GIANT BLOCKS OF TEXT. (Side effect of the Obsession Syndrome(s)! ;D You have been warned . . .)

    ALSO: I like my writing organized, so they're all written in a structure that is as follows:

    Title / Series's name(s)
    ; Author(s)
    (Central themes, for those who're interested in the series but haven't gotten around to reading it/them)

    [Funny] [Q]uotes that I see/saw that remind me of the series

    Anything I have to say

    I just also want to add that a major reason this part of my profile is even here is that I love, love, love introducing people to series/books I think they'll enjoy. Sometimes all it takes is the title to grab someone's attention (as it was with me and So You Want to Be a Wizard)—but more often than not, it takes a whole lot more. And sometimes, the time it takes to wade through the book is worth it.

    So here's what I say: Don't be discouraged by my giant bricks of text. Go through the quotes or general themes or title or something. Who knows: You may discover your new obsession here. Give it a chance! :D By making each other better writers, we're making the entire industry of writing better—now who says the same can't happen for the publishing industry, if we read more?

    Gah, what am I doing?! Read on!

    Deltora Quest / デルトラクエスト / The Three Doors Trilogy; Emily Rodda/Jennifer Rowe
    (Hope, unity despite differences, learning the lessons of history (you all saw that quote up there), determination, "dispel the shadows." And riddles. Looots of riddles.)

    Those evil take-over people are never satisfied, are they? They just can't take over one city, or one state, or even one country . . . Noooo, it has to be the whole entire world!

    Well. What can I say? Overobsessed with DQ, all-around Deltoran (and a full-points scorer of the Amethyst tribe!), and, oh yeah, someone who has big complaints against the anime. (Ramble warning.) I mean, it was okay, but seriously? American voice actors were awful ('specially Jasmine and Lief's voices . . .); the actual animation was great, but they just didn't capture that sense of surreality that Deltora has; lots of OOC-ness; FILLERS (coughThaegancamebacklikeTHREEtimescough); Dain's entire character (icky way he died and was portrayed in general, his voice acting ("dayger"? Seriously?), his appearance (where's his nose?), and so on); and the opal. Like, what is that, a moonstone? A smoke crystal?! Same goes for the emerald . . . It looked like aquamarine or something. T.T Yeah. I wasn't that happy with the anime . . . But on the other hand (there's always "the other hand," isn't there), there were some nice things about the anime. Now, I know everyone's biggest complaint (usually) is the fact that, well, Lief is a blonde. (HA!) My opinion might be a bit biased, as that was actually exactly the way I visualized him ever since I started reading the series. So there's one score for the animation team. Another appreciated addition was the scene where Thaegan and her children get a chance to show they're not completely horrible characters and the lapis lazuli finally has a power. Even though that part of the anime was a very obnoxious, intrusive filler, it was—entertaining . . . in its own way. And even though I hated Dain's portrayal/character, it gave us Deltorans a chance to laugh at his lack of nose. >:D (If anyone hasn't seen it, YouTube comments can vary from blaming it on makeup to Voldemort references. My all-time favorite: Hey Dain, you know who else doesn't have a nose? Voldemort. I think it's safe to say that you can't be trusted.) Anyway, turning away from the anime: To those of you extreme shippers (come on, you know you're there!) of J/L (well, 'least that's canon), B/L (ditto), D/J (this one just offends/annoys/confuses me . . .), etc., I first read DQ when I was in third grade. (Yes, you heard/read that right.) So when I read the last book and Rodda finally revealed her main ship, it seemed kind of out of nowhere to me, as all the clues Rodda dropped everywhere had gone straight over my head. So imagine my surprise when I first discovered the DQ section of this fanfiction! (My reaction was a kind of WHAT THE HECK?! / did NOT see that coming/I'M TOO YOUNG!! / I wonder what the age range of the FF writers is . . . ? / this is really awkward . . . -sort thing. So if I seem hesitant towards writing fluff, well—now you know. Plus, I always keep thinking: WHAT IF ONE OF MY FRIENDS GOT HOLD OF IT?! (Horrors! Let's hope they don't look that closely at my writing!) I think people underestimate and completely, wrongly, utterly unacceptably judge this series. They see the cover (and sometimes the author) and go, "Oh, it's one of those books with just plot line and no development and depth." AHEM. As I've said before, I live and breathe that kind of "deeper" writing and, well, that's one of my reasons for being obsessed with these books! My favorite book out of the fifteen (not including stand-alone/extra books) would be The Sister of the South, as it (a) gives the dragons the credit they deserve; (b) is the conclusion with an epilogue-like ending (which I loved!); and (c) is the book which finally reveals the full extent the incredible web-like plot Rodda has created. 8D And my favorite character is Jasmine. Or Sharn. Or . . . wait for it . . . Veritas! ;D Oh, a quick must-know: I don't like Neridah. (Hah, understatement of the year!) Just saying! I know [most] other Deltorans are with me on that. I mean, she's just not likeable. At all. Not to mention she tried to ruin everything for the trio (multiple times, in the anime and the books!) and was just plain annoying. Aaaand: Did anyone notice the new covers for the first arc?! Well, not really new covers; just a new, I don't know . . . feel. Or theme. Or formatting. . . . Something. But it just doesn't have that epic old thing to it that I totally loved . . . Urk. It looks all—I don't know. The best way I can describe it is "kiddish," and that's not even an accurate description . . . And don't ask me if this is international, or limited-edition, or anything like that because I have no idea. (Heck, I don't even know if these are "officially" new or if they just felt like changing the websites' images!) So: see the new covers here. (And don't be afraid to drop a PM if the link doesn't work—it's an external one.)
    For TTDT (. . . aaand wow that looks weird), well . . . T.T MINDBLOWN. I'm about 1000% sure the reactions of everyone who'd finished The Third Door is/was "EGAWD. PERFECTION. HOW HOW HOW HOW HOWWWW." Such a simple and yet utterly impossible plot twist!! T.T EMILY RODDA HAS DONE IT AGAIN . . . Her readers are left in spasms and amazement. Complete amazement. Aggghhh, Emily Rodda, teach me what you know . . . I can't wrap my head around her writing. How does she plan this epic stuff?! . . . Okay, moving on from that: So I must say my favorite character is a giant stinking tie between Sonia and Tallus, and it could be purely because Sonia is simply amazing (and don't we all know it) and that Tallus immediately asked for dynamite samples after he realized what the stuff was. Oh and also because he'd supported the quartet since, what, the beginning of time . . . ?
    ALSO. Did anyone else notice how Lief, Jasmine and Barda are exact [personality] copies of Rye, Sonia and Dirk? And also, exact copies of Rowan, Zeel, and {insert any grown male Rin person here 'cos they're practically all the same, except for the teacher)? Emily Rodda . . . your characters are reincarnations . . .
    Oooh, quick question: Anyone have any idea what Rodda's going to write next? (I'd be happy to start a very long PM conversation with anyone willing to discuss it! :D)

    Rowan of Rin series; same author as above
    (Being different/labels, weakness/strength, fear(s)/courage, prophecies, destiny)

    What you see is not what you get; if that were true the world would be a wasteland.

    Pretty good series, though not as obsessed. I have a weird fascination with the grach (see that one-shot) and the Dragon of the Mountain (see the same fanfic). Also: Zeel is awesome! I like her loads better than Sharaan . . . The bukshah are also very interesting (especially in Rowan and the Ice Creepers/Rowan of the Bukshah) and the thing I love most about this series: THE PROPHECIES! 8D And Sheba. She's absolutely hilarious! (And she reminds me of so many of my other favorite characters . . . (*Cough*Peach!*Cough.*) Also, I do wonder: Is Rin somehow also linked to Deltora and Dorne, in any of the faintest ways? There are fanfics saying so. And it's Emily Rodda's work, so I would definitely be "yep, I saw that coming"-ing if she did that. Favorite book for this was Rowan and the Zebak (where we meet the grach, the Dragon of the Mountain's amazing powers and majesty, and the epic Zeel)!

    Rondo Trilogy; yet the same author
    (Um. All I can say is that this series is very unique in the imagination it must've taken to create it)

    This is why you pay attention to details: Otherwise, you'd miss out on all the plot twists.

    The only series I've read of Emily Rodda's that uses a bit of humor . . . XD The pan who kept screaming, "CONKIE!!!", probably my favorite character. And the Blue Queen or whatever her name is . . . Oi. She creeps me out. I really need to reread this series. And I CAN'T FIND The Battle for Rondo! And then I look online and it says you might have to order it internationally . . . Ugh. Out of the first and second books, I like The Wizard of Rondo the best. :P It had the pot in it!

    Young Wizards / Feline Wizards (also known as, in other countries, the Cats of Grand Central) series; Diane Duane (AKA my "current obsession," as I read A Wizard of Mars and, well, let's just say I got re-obsessed with this . . . :D)
    (Ooooh, just watch this . . . Okay. Death/life, entropy (you know, the slow death of the universe/the slow running out of its energy (and I did not word that right)), redemption ('specially DW), sacrifice/loss (COUGHTWDCOUGH), hope, endurance. Pretty much anything deep, actually! 8D)

    Death is just Life's way of telling you, "YOU'RE FIRED!" (So true, right? 'Cept the Lone Power would never say that . . .); Basic definitions of science: If it crawls, it's biology. If it smells, it's chemistry. If it doesn't work, it's physics. (Or: If you can't make heads nor tails of it, it's the Powers' doing!); Save the Earth. It's the only planet with CHOCOLATE. (Ahem! Carmela . . . !!); and We don't live in the world of reality, we live in the world of how we perceive reality.

    This is the second-to-first series I'm obsessed with! HIGHLY SUGGESTED FOR HARRY POTTER FANS, SEPTIMUS HEAP FANS, AND PEOPLE WHO LIKE WELL-DEVELOPED AND/OR COMPLICATED, IN-DEPTH BOOKS (and still have a lot of humor in them)! And this series is very well-researched, for that matter! So now I must complain—because if I love it, it gives me the unlimited right to criticize it! Aaaand, begin: ARRGGHHHH WAITING AND WAITING FOR A RELEASE DATE FOR Games Wizards Play! (Full rant way above. Heh . . .) Yeah. The cliffie kinda killed me . . . Major understatement. Honestly though, GWP just sounds so exciting in the synopsis and all the things it hints at is just—aaagh, it makes me so so sooo excited! 8D Okay, so, turning away from the nonexistent release date: For favorite characters, I'd have to say Macchu Picchu/Peach tops all, but honorable mentions include Spot, Ponch, Liused, and Dairine. Oh and what'shername . . . Tualha. You know, the cat-bard from AWAB . . . I think. (I seriously need to reread.) Yeah, weird combination, but they're just all so epic! (Especially Peach . . . spouting prophecies and annoying everyone at the same time! Little cannibal!) And I loved (and totally saw coming) the twist about Ponch. (Ha, "Wasn't it kind of a hint your dog was not normal when he started pulling you through universes he made up himself?"—or whatever it was. :)) Favorite book for this would have to be A Wizard of Mars, although a very close second is The Wizard's Dilemma and So You Want to Be a Wizard. (Again, a mini-ramble about the same topic: book 10 just can't come along fast enough, can it?! Dying, dying, dying. . . .) Ooh, by the way—I saw the "New Millennium" Editions for the YW series. My first (instinctive) reaction: Eye twitch. WHAT DID THEY DO?!?! Followed by some more eye twitching and overall shock—but lots of appreciation for the obvious effort. (Timeline issues. Age problems! The ancientness of the series! Oh finally, to see those fixed . . . ! It makes me (want to) cry with joy. XD) Cover-wise: I liked the paperback editions too . . . although some of the New Millennium covers are a huge improvement. (E.g. A Wizard Abroad, The Wizard's Dilemma, and Wizards at War—all of which now have AMAZING covers, even though Dilemma already had a pretty good one. I find AWAB's NME cover simply epic, though, so I can't complain too much.) But others . . . just, oi. No offense to the publishers who redid the covers or to the amazing Mrs. Duane herself (who all definitely put tremendous effort into the revisions!), but, uh, SYWtBaW has a bit of an anime-ish touch to it, don't you agree? (Ha, "a bit." See the covers of the NM Editions here. Now you may decide for yourselves. . . . Oh, and do let me know if the link doesn't work—it's external.) Although DD is (very) right about having to "modernize" the content of the series. I did used to wonder (as I'm a younger reader of this series) why it seemed so ancient . . . Though little things placated me, like Peach and Ponch and Tualha and Liused and S'reee (haha, all my top characters right there) . . . And I was rereading High Wizardry the other day and came across the mention that Nita apparently likes to read—wait for it—horse books. 8DDD That right there made me start dancing around in my head! See, it's the tiny little seemingly-insignificant details that really matter! So, while I'm waiting for GWP, I think I'll head on over to the bookstore every now and then to see if they have the NME's yet—and reread, of course. :D Oh, and, currently reading Feline Wizards. Very interesting insight on the worldgates and their operators—the ones that don't work on the Rirhath B station, anyway. (Because we already know quite enough about the Stationmaster and the Rirhait, I think . . . Though Sker'ret is hilarious.) Now I want a cat . . . Who sees hyperstrings everywhere and can help teach me Ailurin. XD
    (The Random Note of Epicness: I am on the forum, once again, as Rae Silvera. And I also love how DD's little side note next to her name says "It's all her fault; she started it" . . . It cracked me up. :D)
    -Yet more text to add to this gigantic block of words: OHMYPOWERSTHATBEINABUCKET!!! Did anyone read the stuff DD wrote for the thirty-day OTP challenge?!?! I DID AND I HIGHLY SUGGEST EVERYONE IN THIS FANDOM GO AND READ IT. 8D Who ever would have known that a published author would write "fanfiction in her own universe"?! And we all know that, at one point or another while writing fics, we all tried as best we could to imitate the author's style, or write a piece that sounds like it's actually canon—and we all know how effin' hard it is, or how this phrase doesn't sound right, or how that wording would never appear in canon. So imagine my fangirling when I found the OTP (which stands for One True Pairing; I should've said before . . .) stories—especially since all of us YW people know how much it takes to find well-written fluff for this series! Well, if you're in the mood for K/N, the link's in the second sentence: written by the author herself. 8DDDDD As someone on Tumblr said . . . I could get used to this. >:) Because no one can write the way Diane Duane does. (Still silently squeeing! I can die happy now . . . and knowing me, I'll end up in some fangirl heaven.) Ah, she's just trying to kill me with all this [possible] fluff that's basically "outtake" and not in the books yet . . . (Silently chanting: GWP! GWP!! GWP!!!) Also love how she wrote herself into two of them . . . (At first I thought it was Irina . . . O.o In the first OTP entry, anyway. Then I realized: Irina has a baby and a bird with her all the time. This character doesn't.)
    (Oh yeah, I should probably say: days 17 thru 30 aren't up yet [probably due to the fact that DD hasn't gotten around to writing them] , but the links for days 1 thru 16 are on the "master" page I linked in. [And don't worry if you have to blink and take a breather or two after seeing the days' names; I was mentally scarred the first time I saw it, too . . . That was before I remembered DD rarely writes straight-up fluff the way most authors do. I just ignore the titles now if they scare me . . . And I love day five's story to little tiny pieces, so I can't say anything anyway.])
    -Interesting little incident that proves there are no such thing as coincidences, indeed: We had five honor band pieces for our annual county middle school honor band program. They included pieces no one's probably ever heard of ('less you're in band, of course) that had titles like "Liadov Fanfare" and "American Riversongs." Stuff like that. Then I flipped to the end of the folder and guess what I saw in big, bold letters: "Highlights from Star Trek: INTO DARKNESS." Well, at first, my reaction was rather confused—then the title registered and I made the connection between DD and Star Trek, and I had to cough in the middle of rehearsal in order not to burst out laughing. Hah . . . All three honor band rehearsals I just kept thinking about that. XD (Although, given, it's a pretty hard piece. But not impossible, especially for honor band.) Ah, if only the Author (in caps! XD) Herself would hear about this . . . I'm just trying to imagine Her reaction. And usually people record the honor band performances and post them on YouTube, but this year I guess they decided we weren't worthy 'cos the elementary honor band is up but not us or high school. :I Weird . . .

    (Random note: Seen on FanFiction: I WANT A WIZPOD!!!
    My reaction: *Jaw drop* . . . So I'm not alone after all! But what 'bout a Spot?
    Note to note above: Seen in a YW fanfic summary: "Reviewers get beta WizPods."
    Note to the note to the note [woooww that's a mouthful] : Then I happened to stumble across a certain icon on the YW website . . .)

    Now, the best stand-alone book I have seen/read yet: The Book Thief; Markus Zusak
    (Tolerance/acceptance, the butterfly-and-hurricane theory, reaching out, how lives are connected, death [see what I did there?] and life, family/friends support, WWII and the German people's role, not the Nazis', love/hate, inspiration. But most of all: THE IMPORTANCE OF WORDS.)

    [I have been a word in a book.]
    —"The Song of Taliesen";
    The Black Book of Caermarthen (from So You Want to Be a Wizard by Diane Duane); I write for the same reason I breathe: if I didn't I would die.

    This book. Oh, my gosh. Where to start? I guess the first thing I always say when recommending this one is THE METAPHORS AND FIGURATIVE LANGUAGE OVERALL IS AMAZING— And, of course, it's one of those books that leaves a mark forever. (Resonance: The Fault in Our Stars.) This is one of those books where you can look at it and smile and say, Oh yeah, this one is a masterpiece. If any of you aspiring writers out there ever need to read something substantial and something that can really help you flex that muscle from which you draw your words: Read this. I guarantee it will definitely be worth it.
    And now, to the actual fans: The first thing I want to remark on is the movie. Which actually turned out pretty darn well: basically (and I say basically with a purpose) everything was in it, the plot structure was kept true to the book, the way it was filmed retains the novel's feel. In all, I actually liked it quite a lot. (Though Death's voice could do with some editing, but that's no biggie. At least it wasn't the PJO movie, repeated . . .) They had great casting (for once!), too, and they kept the setting so very realistic. (Oh, German people.) But before I start yammering about the movie, a few (or more) words on the book: Of course, insert everything from the first paragraph. And also: Zusak's writing style fits so well and you can tell he's comfortable in it. That's one of the things I'm particularly sensitive towards, for no good reason except I tend to feel it. The move has indeed done it justice, but couldn't possibly include every metaphor and phrase. Favorite characters . . . Well, who can't help but place Liesel among the tops? And Rosa. Oh, my Powers, she reminds me of Peach. But my absolute favorite will have to be Ilsa. And her amazing library.

    Hunger Games Trilogy; Suzanne Collins
    (Society. Lots of society. And tons and tons of war. And character death/torture. Hmm . . . There's also lots of symbolism and that faint expression of hope everlasting—or maybe I'm just sentimental)

    A secret admirer is only a stalker with stationary. (Peeta . . .) Oh, and: Me: I hope nothing bad happens to my favorite character. Author: HAHA DO YOU EVEN
    KNOW ME?! Wait one more! Having the love of your life say you can still be friends is like having your dog die and your mom saying you can still keep it. (Or a cat . . .)

    Yep, I read "mainstream" books as well as minor series . . . I've probably read the weirdest array (yes I just said "array") of books anyone has ever seen. Anyway; those of you who really like these books will probably also like the Divergent Trilogy and/or the Unwind Trilogy, just a quick suggestion because so many people keep asking. I'd have to say my favorite character's Wiress (although notable characters (majority of whom died!) include Rue, Cinna, and Buttercup) and my favorite book was Catching Fire, like ninety percent of the rest of the fandom. And I did like Mockingjay, but it was kinda slow and had a lot of political-propaganda-sort stuff in it, you know? But the epilogue really got me, so I have to give her credit for that! And this is one of the rare book series with simply epic movie adaptations. :D

    Underland Chronicles; same as above
    (War/strife, family, and the quote below that strongly defines this series)

    I'm a lover, not a fighter, but I'll fight for what I love.

    I was reading this series and the whole time I was thinking, Wow, these are the first books Suzanne Collins wrote? . . . You can totally tell! Great series (loved the prophecies!), but what was up with all the Greek-mythology names? Eh well, they sounded pretty cool. Too bad about two-thirds of all the characters died. (Again.) . . . Then again, same applies for THG. (What else did I expect . . .) Favorite character would be Twitchtip (hey, she was epic!—Until she died. Severe complaints about that!), and favorite book would have to be Gregor and the Code of Claw. Although I'm still annoyed Twitchtip had to die. . . . And before I forget: I only read this series 'cos it came up under "suggested" when I visited the DQ Scholastic website. Soo, Deltorans: I highly recommend this series!

    Harry Potter; and we all know who wrote this series
    (Hah, this'll be so weird to pick out the little pieces of this internationally famous series! So. Love/friendship conquers evil, uh . . . Wow. Already dead. Okay, so maybe this is harder than I thought. Hmm. Death count? Belonging! There we go. And determination? Mew . . .)

    That moment of horror it takes for your mind to register what just happened to your favorite character. (For me, it was Hedwig. D:)

    Biggest fandom in (fiction) literary existence and yet I've seen and met (and sadly am somehow friends with) about a bajillion haters . . . T.T Well, this is one of those must-reads (it is the most popular series of our generation!) and I just don't understand why some people despise it. Anyway: I believe my House is Ravenclaw and my Patronus (when I took the quiz on the Scholastic site about four years ago) is an owl, although I think it should be a dragon or a unicorn or something. XD Oh yeah, this is a series that I think has AMAZING movie adaptations. Seriously! (I mean, next to PJO, it's so much better.) The poor cast, though . . . they've been doing this for pretty much forever. XD My favorite character's Luna and out of the seven books I'd have to say Order of the Phoenix is the best, even though it's one of the saddest.

    -Note: The other day my friend brought up that her teacher said JKR announced there's going to be another HP book and, well, my friends and I kind of started screaming and demanding the date of release, title, etc., after which she added that her teacher said it was about seventy-five percent complete. Aaaand then I decided to do some research and oh looky, it's a hoax. . . . Is it? Anyway, all I know is that JKR isn't closed to the idea. That's it! Don't kill me! (And I also know the movie rights are already sold . . . I think.)

    Eon: Dragoneye Reborn / Eona: The Last Dragoneye (duology); Alison Goodman (Well, that's the name in the USA; not sure about the rest of the world. I think Wikipedia said something about the String of Pearls?)
    (Power, control/hierarchy, dragons [with an excellent twist] , physical reality vs. spiritual, justice and freedom in that sense)

    You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me. (And: the dragons only appear to me . . .)

    Before you decide to read these books, I highly suggest you double-check your maturity level. . . . Ahem. Bit of mature content, and if you want an idea, well, about the same level as the Divergent Trilogy. XD (Good luck!) Anyway, these two books are two that I'd suggest to people who liked dragons but didn't want the same old thing (you know, they turn out to be so wise and powerful and stuff and someone can totally control them and blah blah blah) over and over again, likes twists and, as I call it, hold-your-breath "power play." ;D (Reference!) Now, to those (extremely) few who've read these: my favorite character would have to be the amazing Mirror Dragon (she does count, doesn't she?), as the human characters were—well, rather not say. I like the second book that much better than the first, since they were both epic . . . :P But the ending. Kinda lame, but not the worst I've seen. (COUGHINHERITANCECOUGH! Well, actually, not only that . . . but that was the first book that came to mind. XD)

    Divergent Trilogy; Veronica Roth
    (Below quote, quite a bit like Hunger Games in central ideas ('specially character torture), choice, true bravery/courage, death/life, and a lot of deeper stuff as well)

    You don’t know how strong you really are until being strong is the only choice you have; and Have the courage to live. Anyone can die.

    Ah, yeah. Another mainstream series (and one I would not let fifth-graders read!) that's to be modeled after the dystopian-/utopian-genre books that seem to be in high demand lately. (I'm not saying I hate mainstream, as this series absolutely defines "page-turner," but I have been wondering about the new trend.) I wonder: Has Veronica Roth ever met Suzanne Collins? They both write almost the same way . . . major character death, people-versus-society conflict, symbolism, strong main character. (You've got to admit both of them also seem to love character torture.) Well, my favorite character is probably Christina and as for my favorite: I would have to say Allegiant, despite my complaints about it (right below).
    My little side note: Okay, I read Allegiant and I positively DIED. (Oh yeah, I should probably say: EXCEEDINGLY MAJOR SPOILER ALERT!!! DO NOT READ IF YOU HAVEN'T READ ALLEGIANT!) I honestly thought she was above killing off the main character, but nooooo . . . T.T Ugh I was so depressed and started crying every three seconds, but one of my friends told me Roth wanted a more powerful ending than a "live happily ever after" one. But still! Did she really have to just, you know, kind of sink the main ship and leave the rest of the characters in anguish? . . . Eh well, the book will be the book . . . :/

    Unwind Dystology; Neal Shusterman (I know. When I saw "dystology," I thought Huh?? too. But now it's explained, and the explanation makes me happy!)
    (The question of control over others' lives, choice, society, life/death. And, of course, that question of the "divided state" . . .)

    They say guns don't kill people, people do. Well I think the guns help. I mean, if you just stood there and yelled, "BANG!" I don't think too many people would die. (Heheh I saw this and thought of clappers . . . Difference is if clappers clap, then lots of people would die! XP)

    There are virtually no fanfictions for this series! Everyone says this is a really creepy trilogy series and I'll admit it is, but I like how it's centered around the question of Does anyone really have the right to the lives of others, even if it's for a good cause? and it offers a different look at the world, but then pretty much everything does. (Note: If you really liked this series, I think you'll also like the series below . . .) After reading UnSouled, I still wonder what happened to Miracolina . . . XD (Edit: And now I'm very much hoping my question will be answered in Undivided!) My favorite character is Sonia (heheh, when I saw that name I kept thinking about the other Sonia from the Three Doors Trilogy) and I actually liked UnSouled the best, despite its GAWDAWFUL CLIFFIE!!! T.T At least Undivided will be here to bridge the gap . . .

    Jenna Fox Chronicles; Mary E. Pearson
    (Identity/self [lots of it] , change in the sense of time, technology, and in general quite a lot like above series. It's, according to the reviews, a "medical thriller" . . .)

    Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils in the end . . .

    The thing I think is amazing about this series is its depth and the perspective it presents. Although the idea of minds trapped spinning forever . . . Eurgh. Creepy, absolutely creepy. It's very different from the way most other books are written . . . I wonder, is she going to write more? I'd have to say my favorite character is Dot—and of course (SPOILER), she had to die. (End spoiler.) T.T Oh well . . . It was a noble death, I guess. (That came out badly . . .) Out of the three I think I like Fox Forever best, because it brings everything to a close and, well, I'm a lover of last books—and don't ask me why because I honestly don't know. :P

    Percy Jackson and the Olympians / Heroes of Olympus as well as the Kane Chronicles; Rick Riordan
    (Huh. This series is all humor, so I'd say, uh, choice? Faith in others? Not hating your parents for ignoring you? Something like that.)

    Do NOT follow in my footsteps. I tend to walk into walls and off the occasional cliff. (Yeah, and into a river . . .) and: It's you and me versus the world . . . We attack at dawn.

    First thing: I live with The Sea of Emerald, so if I seem irritated about this fandom, it's due to her overobsession. . . . So! First order of business: The news that's been relayed around the fandom about a million times, the whole thing about Nico . . . Well, major plot twist, but I'm not judging, okay? I feel sorry enough for him as it is . . . (That was pointed to you haters . . .) So just leave the guy be. Rick Riordan thought that it was an important public issue to address, so I say trust the author. He knows what he's doing.
    Now, onto the actual stuff!
    Probably the most hilarious series I've ever read and I must say, in HoH Riordan's writing style changed dramatically. Well, not for the worse, but it just isn't the same. Honestly, the difference between PJO and HoO was already huge, and then he shoves HoH in our faces. XD Now for my PJO movie reviews (AKA movie complaints): First one they bombed. Absolutely killed it, changed everything, centered it around the pearls—which weren't even that important!—and the casting just didn't fit with (most of) the fans' imaginations. Second one they did so much better . . . BUT THEY GOT RID OF CIRCE'S ISLAND! DDDD8 And there was a random abandoned amusement park—and guess what its name was? . . . Circeland. Oh, and everyone's saying Riordan is doing Norse mythology after he finishes up HoO. Norse mythology? Well . . . I thought he'd do like . . . I don't know, English mythology? Or even maybe Irish mythology would be acceptable! For favorite character . . . I debate between the snakes of the caduceus (George and Martha), Ella, and Arion. Favorite demigod character, however, will always remain Annabeth! As for book, I'd have to say I actually like House of Hades best, despite all the weirdness that takes place. But I still do love The Last Olympian.
    And now for Kane Chronicles . . . There should be more! Only three books? Really? Huh. And Serpent's Shadow just didn't seem that satisfactory an ending, for some reason . . . Favorite character would be Bast ("Hey look, a convertible!") or Zia (as long as she's not in I'm-just-going-to-be-rude-to-you-even-though-you-just-saved-me-from-a-horrible-fate mode, and I like The Serpent's Shadow best, despite the fact that it seems almost cliff-hanger-y.

    Oh, and, fellow demigods: Never forget! θα Πέρσι Τζάκσον ποτέ να πεθάνει!!

    Maximum Ride; James Patterson
    (Identity/belonging, family [oh the irony] , strength, "soaring to survive," carpe diem, and actually quite a bit on saving the many lives that surround us—especially the flora and fauna)

    I've reached the top of the mountain. It's time for me to make a pair of wings and FLY HIGHER.

    Yes, this is a series about six flying kids and their talking (and flying, for that matter) dog. But that makes it sound so bland, which—well, if you've read MR you know "bland" is the antonym of this series! PJO fans/demigods, I highly suggest this for you . . . Oh yeah, the Maximum Ride movie! Am I the only person who's so scared of how badly this will get butchered? Like, what if this turns out to be The Lightning Thief, Jr.? T.T Hopefully, with Patterson himself as directer (or, at least, that's what everyone's saying), it won't die . . . Favorite character would be Dr. Martinez (hah, she was hilarious in the first book!) and my favorite book . . . Well, can I just say that after Fang left the flock the whole series just started going downhill really fast? And the last book. Honestly. The world ends and everyone who survives is trapped underground except Max (leader of the group, whose attention was/is vied for by two certain people—ahem, mutants), Angel (who can read minds, control people, etc., and has a tricky standing in honesty and loyalty), Fang, and Dylan (who hate each other)? Is anyone else thinking that they won't last that long . . . ? And I thought I might've had at least a shadow of a happy ending, or something. Guess not. :I

    The Giver Quartet; Lois Lowry
    (Choice, society, utopia/dystopia, creativity/difference. Kind of a messed up version of the Unwind Dystology and every other dystopian and utopian series there is, but the one it most strongly resembles is the Matched Trilogy's . . .)

    "There are 1000 ways I can kill you, and 951 of them hurt." "So what do the other 49 do? Tickle?" (Sounds like something Trademaster would say and then what Gabe would say back to him . . . XD)

    I swear, no one has read this series! This is another one of the deeper series (like Jenna Fox) and it's set in a utopian and dystopian world, so people who like reading about "perfect" worlds and/or seriously messed up ones: read this! Given, it's kinda weird at first, but it's an amazing series. :D Anyway: I read the first book as part of a class. Does anyone have any idea how many people started snickering and/or dying? T.T I was like, Be more mature! Well, I went on to read books two through four, and I loved them, as I only have the one complaint that Matty had to die! >:I Well, my favorite character is probably Alys (she only appears in Son) or Annabelle (not Kira's daughter; I mean the first Annabelle) and my favorite book would also have to be Son. It ties everything together! :D

    Inheritance Cycle; Christopher Paolini
    (Dragons. Lots of dragons, and it's in the classical sense. Hmm . . . destiny. Mercy? Wow, this process of trying to dig up series's meanings is killing me. Strife/life, war, EMPATHY! There we go, understanding/empathy is pretty big)

    Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and good with ketchup.

    I have so many complaints about this series. . . . (Sorry, Paolini!) Firstly, directed to the fans: IT'S NOT "THE ERAGON SERIES." I heard another author refer to this as "the Eragon series" and I killed myself mentally facepalming. (I don't know why calling IC the "Eragon series" gets me so annoyed, but it does . . .) Secondly, directed to Paolini himself: What was it with your ending?! So the protagonist leaves the country forever (also sinking the main ship) and tries to find new lands? What happened to the rest of Angela's predictions? /)(\ But besides that, this is a great series for those of you who love what I call "traditional through-and-through" (known to most as "high") fantasy: dragons, magical land, tyrant king, elves and dwarfs, etc., etc. And Eragon has a pretty amazing movie adaptation, so kudos to everyone who contributed to it for that! (In my opinion. I know there're some who complain and whine about it, but compare it to Percy Jackson. Not so bad anymore, huh?) For this series I'd say my favorite character is Angela (LOL: "Its real name is Albitr, which means exactly what you think, but I call it Tinkledeath!") and out of the four I'd have to say I like Inheritance best—just get rid of the [awful] ending.

    Wings of Fire; Tui T. Sutherland (the American member of the Erin Hunter team!)
    (Destiny/prophecy, dragons with a rather interesting twist, belonging/identity/self, discovery)

    I'm the author of my own life. Unfortunately, I'm writing in pen.

    Another series about dragons and prophecies! :D Except this one's a bit different from all the other ones. I love the prophecy (not so much after I found out it was written by Morrowseer and Battlewinner! {sigh} But the wording is so pretty . . .) and the idea of the 'Wing tribes in general, although I do wonder when the line about "the power of wings of fire" will come into play. Out of the tribes I like the SeaWings (heheh Riptide . . . and not the sword, you PJO nutters) and the RainWings, and it fits that Tsunami is my second-favorite character, right after Glory. NightWings are so annoying (but Queen Scarlet is even more annoying), even though they're so powerful and all . . . They're just so ugh. Although Starflight's horror at discovering the lack of scrolls in the RainWing kingdom is, to me, completely understandable. My favorite character? My gosh, Queen Glory of the RainWings! Also: Tsunami, Fatespeaker (she's arrogant, but once you get to know her . . .), who else . . . I really pity the "backup" prophecy dragonets, and the fact that (SPOILER WARNING) one of them dies just makes me pity them more. (End spoiler.) Oh! I find Deathbringer an interesting character. So far, battling for the title of "Favorite Book from the Series" are The Hidden Kingdom, The Dark Secret, and (of course) The Brightest Night.

    Warriors; Erin Hunter
    (Belonging, identity, errr . . . hope? Strife/life? Secrets/knowledge? Ancestry? Oh, and lots about that bright place above and the dark place down under and how just 'cos some enemy's gone to either place doesn't mean you don't have to deal with them anymore)

    SHUT UP VOICES OR I'LL POKE YOU WITH A FORK! (Or, you know, a certain handy stick!)

    This is the series I find easiest to write for . . . I don't know why but it is. I figured it out: If you write for Warriors, everything is already set up for you. The entire world's hierarchy, system, all the details—are already established and firm. You just have to have the heart to go and find them. To write, there's only two steps: create an OC and go. The Erins will give you all the other answers! Anyway: I do wonder where the Hunters got the idea about the Clans. I mean, groups of highly organized cats could live in the English countryside and no one would notice? Uh, no. But very unique idea. (To say the least . . .) Out of the five Clans (SkyClan included) I would be in WindClan or RiverClan. Most likely StarClan, though . . . Hah, I'd probably get myself killed real quick. Again: I'm NOT reading the Dawn of the Clans arc, since I like my own theory a tad better and I'm kind of tired of Warriors as of current preferences. So anyway: My favorite character is Bluestar (you've got to love how she went crazy in the end, although it was a bit annoying) and my favorite book out of the million would have to be The Last Hope.

    Guardians of Ga'Hoole / Wolves of the Beyond / (currently being written) Horses of the Dawn; Kathryn Lasky
    (Honor/justice, rising up above the others for what's right, changing (others) for the better, belonging/identity)

    I'm not lost, I'm exploring. / Not all who wander are lost.

    I know some people that call Guardians of Ga'Hoole and Wolves of the Beyond "boring." Well, I shun you. XD I haven't read Guardians of Ga'Hoole in forever, but I was at the bookstore and saw this new book or something . . . Oh yeah, The Rise of a Legend, which apparently is about Ezylryb's backstory and so on. Interesting . . . I'll probably read it. (Did she get a new cover artist for this one? It looks so . . . different.) About the movie adaptation (Legend of the Guardians: The Owls of Ga'Hoole), I say it was another one well done. :D I've seen this a couple times and I say it's epic! Yes, they changed quite a few things, but I think it was for the better. They had to fit the material of an arc into one movie and make it followable. (And I had a weird fascination with the flecks anyway—but Glaux forbid that I become a picker for St. Aggie's!) They should totally do a Wolves of the Beyond movie. Haha, I wish. My favorite GoG'H character is Gylfie but I relate to Otulissa the most. Or maybe even "good" ol' Nyra . . . (Just kidding!) I liked The War of the Ember best, but I can barely remember a thing about it. Except for "You may have won this battle, but we will win the war." —which I think was Nyra's quote. As for WotB, my favorite character is the Sark! I was so annoyed/depressed when she died—but at least she became a new constellation. :D The Sark lives on among the skaars! (Get it? Skaars, Skaarsgard? Oh, my fantastic attempts at Old Wolf . . .) My favorite would have to be Star Wolf, even though that's when the Sark dies. T.T And they leave the Beyond for the Blue. Buuuut there's a horse of all things in the end! Now that made me happy . . .

    Septimus Heap; Angie Sage (TodHunter Moon series/trilogy or whichever one it is will also hopefully join SH soon . . .)
    (Quite a lot of similar elements that made Harry Potter so popular. Hmm . . . Identity/self/belonging, family, the Magyk and Fyre within, and . . . that's it, really. Oh, and there's humor and quite a bit of irony. And puns. Can't forget the name puns . . .)

    If you don't understand how someone could love their sibling and want to wring their necks at the same time . . . you were probably born an only child. (Ha, and the Heaps have eight kids! And yes, Jenna counts. Why not? The Queen is, as she said, an utter control freak and the Heaps are so much better . . .)

    Another series on my to-reread-list. XD Well I read Fyre pretty recently and I'm pleased to say it's my favorite out of the entire series and is absolutely epic! 8D Someone said they didn't like it because it was too complicated and Jenna was too bossy and, well, I kind of got annoyed at that response . . . Ha, when I was reading Fyre, the little girl who waved at the Dragon Boat caught my interest and I was going to write a fic about her, but then I read the Endings and I was like, Seriously? T.T Oh well, the more (canonical) books the better! Yay for being able to look forward to the TodHunter Moon series! Fans of YW and HP, I think you would really like this series—although it puts an original twist on magic and spells and so on. :D My favorite character would actually have to be Marcia or Alther. Or the Dragon Boat herself. (Itself?)

    Another beautiful stand-alone: The Scorpio Races; Maggie Stiefvater (author of the Shiver Trilogy)
    (There's so much in this . . . There's a lot about love, and not just the pairing kind but the [hard-to-find] attachment you feel to a place and/or its inhabitants. There's a bit on redemption, and determination, and courage, wishes, trust, fear, letting go, standing up . . . It's an amazing book, and for those who don't obsess over horses and related beings, it's not even really centered around water horses. But it's epic. Period.)

    Sometimes, people build walls—not to keep others out, but just to see who cares to break through.

    I really want to know if there's a fandom for this . . . But for now, I'll be my own. The book reminds me a little of the Hunger Games Trilogy, actually—it also involves a competition to the death. Except that the Scorpio Races leaves a considerably significant amount of people living, even after it's ended. Another thing to keep in mind if you plan on reading this is the fact that it's AR: There are mentions of America and California, to demonstrate that Thisby is very much part of our world. Or, at least, a version of it. . . . A version where part of the seas are filled with water horses, also known as capall uisce. (Pronunciation: COP-ple OOSH-ka.) My old horse love is here, and it's combined with modern YA. Gosh, what else can I ask for? XD (In my head: Maybe a SEQUEL?!) I loved the ending: it reminded me of another horsey favorite, Paint the Wind by Pam Munoz Ryan. Stiefvater's writing style is addicting and almost resembles Markus Zusak's, in some ways. And she captures things. So, before I start bubbling over: My favorite character has to be (no one kill me) Dove. I know she's a horse / "island pony," but notice—a lot of my favorite characters are animals. But if I had to choose a human, I say the butcher's wife (whose name I can't recall at the moment). Corr is dangerously epic, and so are the two protagonists. Fans of THG, horse stories, YA in general—highly suggested. :D

    Fablehaven; Brandon Mull
    (Well, I haven't read this in a while. Humor abound. Hope/determination. Um. Belief? No idea)

    They may be "just stories" to you, but they're kind of my life . . .

    This series actually reminds me a lot of PJO . . . I guess the writing styles are sort of similar? Anyway, this is also on to-reread and I've reread up to Rise of the Evening Star. You know, the one with the frog that says "DO NOT FEED THE FROG" and then happens to get fed and— okay, Olloch the Glutton. XD I highly suggest this series to PJO, SH, and maybe even YW and HP fans. As I was saying: this involves quite a bit of mythology, so yeah. I'd have to say my favorite character is Raxtus (the fairy dragon! Best idea ever!) and, of course, my favorite book is Secrets of the Dragon Sanctuary. (Heheh (SPOILER ALERT!), Gavin gets eaten . . . serves him right! XD)

    -Also, I saw this thing on the Scholastic website that said something like: "New from the creators of the 39 Clues!" and was advertising the new series Spirit Animals. Weeeellll I saw the first book at the bookstore and, go figure, it's not by Riordan, but Brandon Mull. . . . Did I miss out on something? 'Cos I'm pretty sure Mull wasn't ever involved in the 39 Clues franchise. (Right??)

    Matched Trilogy; Ally Condie
    (Choice, society, creativity/difference, uprising/resistance to that authoritative power, memory)

    To the world you may be just one person, but to one person you may be the world.

    This trilogy is actually quite a lot like the Giver Quartet, so if anyone's read that, I highly suggest this series! (And vice versa, of course. :P) I loved reading these books because of the question about choice and above all, expression through works of art. Seriously, she's amazing at working those bits and pieces into the books. 8D Absolutely epic! (You'll see what I mean if you look at the quotes I put down from Reached down below.) However: I don't read the series for romance-y fluff or lalala because that's just the side stuff; I read it for the theme, the poems, and the general ideas. (That answer your question, -insert name of friend-?! XD) Of the three I like Reached best and my favorite character . . . Well, I must say Anna. She reminds me of this other character with the same name . . . COUGHDQCOUGH. ;)

    Redwall books, also known as Tales from/of Redwall; Brian Jacques
    (Food, tons of it! Empathy/sympathy, hope/determination (often despite size—you know, the whole "heroes come in all shapes and forms" thing), true heroism/bravery, power/control, kindness)

    I don't think I could ever stab someone. I mean, let's be honest. I can barely get the straw in the Capri Sun! (Sounds like a Redwaller, doesn't it?)

    You know what I find so appealing about this series? The food. I swear, this is the one series that can make me starve because of the feasts they have every two chapters! T.T Cake and cordial and scones and meadowcream and candied nuts and everything . . . Arrgghh . . . Plus those hares always devour it all. Now that's annoying. XD I have quite a bit to say about Redwall . . . Tsarmina and the wildcats remind me way too much of Warriors (am I not right?!). Martin seems to be (a bit of) a Gary-Stu and overused, but he's a pretty good character. The plotline never really seems to change. I mean, really; searats attacking the Abbey and then getting stopped by someone is kind of getting old, you know? Although Pearls of Lutra (my favorite out of all of them!) offers a bit of a twist on that. And the riddles in that thing! It was heaven! I have quite a few favorite characters, as there's a whole ton of them to choose from: Cracklyn (she's really smart!), Verdauga Foeseeker (I think that's her name. Well, you know, the "insane" black squirrel), Rose, Dotti (the amazing little haremaid who beat another hare at his own eating game! Dotti was her name, right?), and . . . great, I can't remember any more names. Well, let's keep it at them and that the Salamandastron hares provide endless entertainment, shall we . . .

    And if anyone is so kind enough to STILL be reading this, these are more series whose archives you may find me in or series/single books that I like. THE LIST WILL BE LONG. . . . Okay here it is:

    Pokemon! (Hey, don't judge! You were once obsessed with it too, admit it!) I am more in the crossovers section of this fandom than the main . . . (As in, I'm reading one or two Pokemon crossover fics, but that's it. :3)

    Dragon Slippers Trilogy; Jessica Day George

    Silverwing trilogy; Kenneth Oppel (plus the prequel, Darkwing)

    Dragon Keeper (in the back of the book it said that there was a sequel called Garden of the Purple Dragon, but I can't find it!); Carole Wilkinson

    The Little White Horse (long time no read, so I'm planning to reread . . . sometime)

    The Blue Roan Child; Jamieson Findlay (a book ALL horse lovers should read, 'cos it's amazing!)

    The Perfect Distance; Kim Ablon Whitney (another wonderful horse book. . . . More YA-ish, but still amazing!)

    Red Kayak and the sequel, The Journey Back; Priscilla Cummings

    The Mostly True Story of Jack; Kelly Barnhill

    The Wednesday Wars; Gary D. Schmidt

    Every Soul a Star; Wendy Mass

    Hatching Magic and the sequel, The Dragon of Never-Was

    Keys to the Kingdom; Garth Nix (suggested series for DQ fans! Also, KttK people check out DQ! PLEASE! :D And those two hilarious fics in this category under my favorites list!)

    Unicorn Chronicles; Bruce Coville

    Animorphs; K.A. Applegate (I used to be obsessed with this series . . . Lol. I'm still (somewhere hidden) in this archive as well!)

    Series of Unfortunate Events; Lemony Snicket

    Secret Series; Pseudonymous Bosch

    Fly By Night / Fly Trap; the author who also wrote The Lost Conspiracy. Both books are super confusing . . . I was lost the whole time, but they were good. :P (Well, I didn't read TLC, my friend did. She told me she was utterly lost as well.)

    Stargirl (NOT the Starkid series, whatever that is . . . planning to re-read this, as I remember nothing about it 'cept for the fact that I thought it was pretty darn good)

    Most anything written by Mary Downing Hahn, too . . . (Including Deep and Dark and Dangerous, The Old Willis Place, and All the Lovely Bad Ones)

    Ruby Holler, Walk Two Moons, Heartbeat and some other books I can't remember by Sharon Creech

    Enchanted Forest Chronicles; Patricia C. Wrede

    Spiderwick Chronicles (although it's been a really long time since I read them); Tony diTerlizzi (shoot, not sure if I spelled that right. But he's the author of the Wondla series as well) and Holly Black

    Fever Crumb; Phillip Reeve. (Searching for sequel, A Web of Air.) Ooh, and Here Lies Arthur is really good too . . .

    Swordbird series; Nancy Yi Fan (made up of Swordbird, Sword Quest, and Sword Mountain)

    Emily Windsnap series (been a long time. There's this new book in this series called Emily Windsnap and the Land of the Midnight Sun. Sounds interesting and I might read it)

    Paint the Wind and also Esperanza Rising; Pam Munoz Ryan . . . And I had to read Riding Freedom for Battle of the Books. All three were really good and two of them had to do with horses! 8D

    Dovey Coe; Roald Dahl

    The Egypt Game and The Gypsy Game, both are really good

    12 Again; Sue Corbett (I liked the black bunny with one blue eye and one green eye! I think that's another form of Bernadette's mom . . .)

    Tangerine; Edward Bloor (the explanation for everything freaked me out a bit, but otherwise great!)

    Silver Phoenix: Beyond the Kingdom of Xia; Cindy Pon (eh, it was all right. Kind of left me mentally scarred, though. Jeez, content much? Although I like the whole theory about the cycle and souls and all that, so that was okay)

    Journey to the West/西游记 (ACTUALLY, I only know these because they're Chinese . . . and I didn't read them, I only watched most of the Chinese show. How interesting it would be to read the translations!)

    Series I am currently in the middle of reading (in which case I am not waiting on the next book to be released or trying to get the just-released book):

    Feline Wizards series (ya know, the spinoff of Young Wizards? That one) by Diane Duane (reading chapters of The Big Meow online. But I feel so sure I saw it at the library!). Oh, and I'm a couple pages into Omnitopia: Dawn . . .

    Warriors by Erin Hunter (yet to start reading Warriors: The Untold Stories—it's sitting in the middle of my bookshelf, gathering dust . . . sadly.)

    39 Clues by—aah—various authors (i.e. ten different authors—at the least!), shall we say. I think they credit Rick Riordan for the series, though. (Trying to get my hands on Unstoppable: Breakaway. Yes, I am sticking with this series. I feel it holds promise . . . And I love it. It's like this modern-world AU of Deltora Quest, continued.)

    Redwall/Tales of/from Redwall, also known as the Redwall saga by Brian Jacques (I'm reading this completely out of order, but I want to read High Rhulain and Triss. Putting this series on hold)

    Daniel X series by James Patterson (will soon read Game Over . . . Yes, I am reading this series. . . . Yes, I think it's good. Do I have issues? . . . Maybe.)

    Kingdom Keepers by Ridley Pearson (although I read the cliffie ending in Shell Game because The Sea of Emerald kept bugging me to . . . one of the biggest cliffies I've ever read in my entire life; glad Dark Passage is here to build a bridge) (looking for, in fact, Shell Game) Sorry. Gave up. T.T It just got way too draggy. And besides, I stole The Insider from Sea of Emerald and read the part in which the Keepers meet Elsa (I quote my friend on the addition of the Queen of winter: Well that was fast.), and I wasn't impressed. Plus, I did get a few chapters into Shell Game and just— I'm sorry. I died. The first book was amazing, the second pretty good, but by the time I got through book three I was having second thoughts. . . .

    "Reading one book is like eating one potato chip."

    —Mrs. Lesser, So You Want to Be a Wizard; Diane Duane (Young Wizards, book 1)
    (Am I the only one who saw that thing she put on Tumblr about this quote and how everyone seems to be quoting it back to her?
    Edit: Link'd it in for viewing pleasure. XD)

    (You know, the usual from an overobsessed reader . . . I like collecting quotes. It's a great way of showcasing those amazing books you've read in a short section, and they sound epic when stacked together like this. :D Ah, inspiration in one, hilarity in another . . .)

    "[Books] were among the most important affairs in the world. . . . One could take a pen and set down what one thought, and . . . nobody accused him of 'showing off' by doing so."
    —Rudyard Kipling

    ". . . [W]hy does anyone create? You feel a . . . need to make something new, something no one else has ever seen before. You want to add to the beauty and richness of the world with a gift, an offering that is uniquely yours. . . ."
    —Fallon, The Last Hunt; Bruce Coville (Unicorn Chronicles, book 4)

    "Either things happen for a reason, or they happen for no reason at all. Either one's life is a thread in a glorious tapestry or humanity is just a hopelessly tangled knot. . . ."
    UnWholly; Neal Shusterman (Unwind Trilogy, book 2)

    ["Okay, hold it right there. I've been meaning to ask you about that," Kit said. "Since when do aliens know about chocolate?!"
    Carmela gave him a pitying look as she came in with a carton of fruit juice and a bottle of cola. "Poor little brother," she said. "You mean you actually don't know why Earth has so many UFO sightings?"
    "I assumed it was something to do with human beings being convinced they were the center of the universe." Kit snorted. "Like other species have so much time to waste kidnapping us. Not to mention making weird patterns in wheat fields."
    "Oh, no, those are just people with boards and ropes," Carmela said, ducking back into the kitchen. She came out a moment later with a bottle of spring water, which she put down in front of Filif. "And, very occasionally, sentient ball lightning. But most of the aliens are here for cocoa plants. The only reason people get abducted is when they have chocolate on them."
    Nita looked at Kit. "Please tell me she's making this up!" she said.
    Kit could only shrug. "She spends half her time watching alien versions of the Discovery Channel," he said. "It could be true."
    "It is true," Carmela said. "For silicon-based life-forms, one of the chemicals in chocolate is an aphrodisiac."
    "Oh, now, wait a minute!" Kit said, and covered his eyes with one hand.
    "But most warm-blooded carbon-based species just really like the taste," Carmela said. "Every time a new species finds out about chocolate, they send someone here to get cocoa plants so they can take them home and genetically tailor them to their physiologies." Carmela smiled a bright and infuriating smile. "See, I don't 'waste' all my time in alien chat areas. I've been doing educational things. Like telling my chat buddies which brands of chocolate are best."
    Kit was left with the image of some intergalactic SWAT team turning up on his doorstep and arresting his sister for being a cocoa pusher. "Why do I get the feeling that you are totally out of control?" he said.
    "Your control," said Carmela, and wandered off, smiling angelically. "You're just now noticing?"
    Kit clutched his head as Nita stifled a laugh. "It's not funny," Kit muttered. "And here I was just hoping we might survive the next month or so! Now I have to worry about my sister getting our whole planet put on probation for corrupting underage species or something."]
    Wizards at War; Diane Duane (Young Wizards, book 8)
    -Hah . . . I wonder if this will come back when Games Wizards Play comes out! AHMAHGAWD THE INVITATIONAL . . . ! Some very interesting characters are bound to show up! And I do wonder who the Champion or the One or any of the Powers will inhabit next? (Honestly. They always show up somewhere along the plotline and decide They should interfere! Taking some of my favorite characters away, too . . . *Glare* I do miss the cannibal prophet parrot and the universe-creating dog! And the whole Ronan-and-the-Spear (does she refer to it as the Spear of Lugh or the Spear of Light or just the Spear . . .? Actually, wait, I know: as seen on the forum, the Toothpick!) thing was a pretty near hit, too. And what's in store for Carmela as well, based on the synopsis given . . . Yeesh. I can just imagine what an intergalactic translator with a laser / egg beater / curling iron and control over a seemingly unlimited amount of chocolate could do.

    Also, some random favorite YW quotes (that are most likely not at all exact but hopefully have the same ideas), all credit of which shall go to the epic Diane Duane: (And if the NME's change these . . . Well . . . Merp. How am I to blame?)

  • "I told you she was going to turn you into a soggy beermat. No one ever listens to me." —Johnny, A Wizard Abroad
  • ["Honey?"
    "What, Mama?"
    "The dog wants to know what the meaning of life is."]
    A Wizard Alone
  • (And these should be precise and all, since I pulled it directly from one of DD's posts on the forum!) "Where other species are involved, I think as soon as we're old enough to ask, we're old enough to find out."
    "'Destiny.' Half the time the word's just code for 'what someone else wants you to do without asking any inconvenient questions.'" —Dairine
    Wizards at War
  • [". . . Besides, she's busy managing her wizardry these days . . . spends most of her time working with her computer. You wouldn't believe some of the conversations I've heard over its voice-link recently." She fell into an imitation of Dairine's high-pitched voice . . . "'No, I will not move your planet . . . What do you want to move it for? It's fine right where it is!'"]
    A Wizard Abroad
  • "Change your thoughts, and you change your world."

    From the Song of the Twelve (presented in Deep Wizardry (Young Wizards, book 2) by Diane Duane):

    An introduction . . . (From the Invocation)
    "Blood in the water I sing,
    and one who shed it:
    deadliest hunger I sing,
    and one who fed it—
    weaving the ancient-most tale
    of the Sea's sending:
    singing the tragedy,
    singing the joy unending.

    This is our shame—
    this is the whole Ocean's glory:
    this is the Song of the Twelve.
    Hark to the story!
    Hearken, and bring it to pass:
    swift, lest the sorrow
    long ago laid to its rest
    devour us tomorrow!"

    (From the Silent Lord's part)
    ". . . Sea, hear me now,
    and take my words and make them ever law!

    Must I accept the barren Gift?
    —learn death, and lose my Mastery?
    Then let them know whose blood and breath
    will take the Gift and set them free:

    whose is the voice and whose is the mind
    to set at naught the well-sung Game—
    when finned Finality arrives
    and calls me by my secret Name.

    Not old enough to love as yet,
    but old enough to die, indeed—
    the death-fear bites at my throat and heart,
    fanged cousin to the Pale One's breed.

    But past the fear lies life for all—
    perhaps for me: and, past my dread,
    past loss of Mastery and life,
    the Sea shall yet give up Her dead!

    Lone Power, I accept your Gift!
    Freely I make death part of me;
    By my acceptance it is bound
    into the lives of all the Sea—

    —yet what I do now binds to it
    a gift I feel of equal worth:
    I take Death with me, out of Time,
    and make of it a path, a birth!

    Let the teeth come! As they tear me,
    they tear Your ancient hate for aye—
    —so rage, proud Power! Fail again,
    and see my blood teach Death to die!"

    (From the Blue's part)
    "[Past mortal song—]
    —that Sea whereof our own seas merely hint,
    poor shadows sidewise cast from what is real—
    where Time and swift-finned Joy are foes no more,
    but lovers; where old friend swims by old friend,
    senior to Death, undying evermore—
    partners to Songs unheard and Voices hid;
    Songs past our knowing, perilously fair—"

    (And now, for a bit of a mood change:)

    [". . . For I am the Mother of Monsters, the terrible Echidna!"
    I stared at her. All I could think to say was: "Isn't that a type of anteater?"
    She howled, her reptilian face turning brown and green with rage. "I hate it when people say that! I hate Australia! Naming that ridiculous creature after me."]
    The Lightning Thief; Rick Riordan (Percy Jackson and the Olympians, book 1)
    -Me: You hate Australia?!?! . . . DIE, ECHIDNA!! Plus, echidnas were on the Journey Book page for that new AJ room Kimbara Outback—that is, if there are any Jammers on here, which I highly doubt. Well, you Jammers know what I'm talking about.

    [Akhlys lunged at Percy, and for a split second he thought: Well, hey, I'm just smoke. She can't touch me, right?
    He imagined the Fates up in Olympus, laughing at his wishful thinking: LOL, NOOB!]
    The House of Hades; Rick Riordan (Heroes of Olympus, book 4)

    "Weirdness is epic[ness]."
    —Quite a few people I've met, slight variations . . .

    "Why am I surrounded by half-wits and dunderheads?"
    —Ungatt Trunn, Lord Brocktree; Brian Jacques (Redwall/Tales of/from Redwall, book I totally lost count years ago)

    ["So, the thing we're all not talking about," he says. He gestures to me. "You almost died, a sadistic pansycake[1] saved you, and now we're all waging some serious war with the factionless as allies."
    "Pansycake?" says Christina.
    "Dauntless slang." Lynn smirks. "Supposed to be a huge insult, only no one uses it anymore."
    "Because it's so offensive," says Uriah, nodding.
    "No. Because it's so stupid no Dauntless with any sense would speak it, let alone think it. Pansycake. What are you, twelve?"
    "And a half," he says.]
    Insurgent; Veronica Roth (Divergent Trilogy, book 2)
    [1]Seen online, as a caption for a picture that had the dialogue: There is no sign of intelligent life here:
    When in a room full of pansycakes who haven't read Divergent.

    "Maybe we should try a different approach . . . Maybe this time we could not barge in yelling, 'We're the dragonets of destiny! We're awesome and special! We'd make terrific prisoners!' Just an idea."
    —Glory, The Lost Heir; Tui T. Sutherland (Wings of Fire, book 2) (Glory. Is. Amazing. She reminds me a lot of Jasmine from DQ, for some reason . . .) And yes, that would be a rather nice idea, to keep a low profile for once . . .

    [The Unknowable

    Are there some things I will never know?
    The unanswerable I will have to accept?
    Have I changed the way everyone does, time and events molding me?
    Or am I a new Jenna, the product of technology, changed by what was put in or maybe what was left out?
    And if my original ten percent is really enough, what if it had been nine percent? Or eight?
    Is one numeral that different from another?
    When is a cell finally too small to hold our essence?
    Even five hundred billion neurochips aren't telling me, and I'm not sure they ever will.
    The question twists inside me again and again—am I enough?—I realize for the first time, it's not just my question, but it was the old Jenna's question as well.
    And I think about Ethan and Allys and even Dane, and I wonder
    has it ever been their own question, too?]
    The Adoration of Jenna Fox; Mary E. Pearson (Jenna Fox Chronicles, book 1)

    "Hope = Hoping that the next book that you are going to read is in the library."
    —My sister, known as The Sea of Emerald on this site

    It is better to remain silent and be assumed an idiot than to speak and and remove all doubt.
    Even a stopped clock is right twice a day.
    —My band teacher . . . XD Couldn't resist.

    ["I did it!" Soren gasped as he lighted down on a branch.
    "Aiyee!" squeaked Gylfie.
    "Gylfie, where are you? What's wrong?"
    "Well, except for being upside down, I think I am fine."
    "Great Glaux!" Soren exclaimed as he saw the little Elf Owl hanging by her talons with her head pointing toward the ground. "How did that happen?"
    "Well, if I knew how, it wouldn't have happened," Gylfie replied testily.
    "Oh, dear! What are you going to do?"
    "Well, I'm going to think about it."
    "Can you do that hanging upside down?"
    "Of course I can. What do you think? My brains are going to fall out of my head? Really, Soren!"]
    The Capture; Kathryn Lasky (Guardians of Ga'Hoole, book 1)

    "Hope for the best and prepare yourself for the worst. Just please, don't tell everybody in the whole entire freaking world that you're preparing yourself. Yeah. Apocalypse and end-of-the-world people? That was directed at you guys."

    "Okay, update. When I see Poindexter and Morticia on the plane? I freak. I'm, like, what happened to my kids? I think, they've, like, eaten you. Then they tell me what happened. Bragging. They're, like, fourteen and eleven, but they talk like they escaped from a Clue game. 'Forged the tickets, ho-ho!'—Anyway, they try to threaten me, yada yada, and of course I argue and I'm figuring in my head, 'Ha-ha, the next thing is they put poison in the drink'—but I'm, like, 'Nahh, of course they're not that skeezy.' Then I see her actually doing it, like two inches away from me—uh, hello? So I get kinda mad—you know, act like I'm going to drink it, and then zam, I spritz the stuff all over their faces. Well, I'm, like, 'Nyah nyah, this is really funny,' but they start to totally wig out and fall over each other to get their carry-on—they're, like, 'Eek, our faces have schmutz on them!' And I'm, like, 'Dudes, grow up!' So I take their carry-on and sit on it. Um. Baad idea."
    —Nellie Gomez, The Sword Thief; Peter Lerangis (39 Clues, book 3) (Actually, basically everything Nellie says is epic . . . My favorite 39 Clues character!)

    "If you want to know what a man's like, take a good look at how he treats his inferiors, not his equals."
    —Sirius Black, Harry Potter and Goblet of Fire; J.K. Rowling (Eh, you all know what series this's from)

    ["How is it you always manage to be present when something interesting is about to occur?"
    "Oh well, I like to know what's going on, and being there is so much faster than waiting for someone to tell me about it afterward. Besides, people always leave out important pieces of information, like whether someone's ring finger is longer than their index finger, or whether they have magical shields protecting them, or whether the donkey they are riding happens to have a bald patch in the shape of a rooster's head. Don't you agree?"
    Nasuada frowned. "You never reveal your secrets, do you?"
    "Now, what good would that do? Everyone would get all excited over some piffle of a spell, and then I'd have to spend hours trying to explain, and in the end, King Orrin would want to chop off my head and I would have to fight off half your spellcasters during my escape. It's just not worth the effort, if you ask me."
    "Your answer hardly inspires confidence. But—"
    "That's because you are too serious, Lady Nightstalker."
    "But tell me," Nasuada persisted, "why would you want to know if someone is riding a donkey with a bald patch shaped like a rooster's head?"
    "Ah, that. Well, the man who owns that particular donkey cheated me at a game of knucklebones out of three buttons and a rather interesting shard of enchanted crystal."
    "Cheated you?"
    Angela pursed her lips, obviously irked. "The knucklebones were loaded. I switched them on him, but then he replaced them with a set of his own when I was distracted. . . . I'm still not quite sure how he tricked me."
    "So you were both cheating."
    "It was a valuable crystal! Besides, how can you cheat a cheater?"]
    Brisingr; Christopher Paolini (Inheritance Cycle; NOT called the Eragon series, I repeat!, book 3) (I just love Angela's dialogue! Honestly, who doesn't?)

    ["Alther, he won't believe us," Septimus said in a low voice. "Think about it. The two people Merrin hates most—me and Simon—turn up on his doorstep at night and say, 'Oh, hello, Merrin. You know those Darke Wizards who were in your ring? You know, the one we cut your thumb off to get back? Well, they've escaped and because you have worn the ring, you're on their hit list. But don't worry. Because we like you such a lot, we've come to take you to the Wizard Tower, where you'll be safe.' I don't think he's going to say, 'Thank you so much. I will come with you right away,' do you?"]
    Fyre; Angie Sage (Septimus Heap, book 7) (Merrin isn't so bad . . . Mostly . . .)

    "A human being is part of a whole, called by us the Universe, a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings, as something separated from the rest—a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us . . . Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circles of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty."
    —Albert Einstein (as quoted in Unwind)

    "A lot of times success is about hanging on where others have let go."

    "I'm a lover, not a fighter, but I'll fight for what I love."

    [Do not go gentle into that good night.
    Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

    Even if it's a Society sympathizer who takes them down, he will see the words as he pulls the papers from the tree. Even if he burns them, they will have slipped through his fingers on the way to fire. The words will be shared, no matter what.

    Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
    Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
    Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

    There are many of them in the world, I think, good men and women with their frail deeds. Wondering what might have been, how things might have danced, if we had only dared to be bright.["Sometimes paper is only paper," my mother says. "Words are just words. Ways to capture the real thing. Don't be afraid to remember that."
    I know what she means. Writing, painting, singing—it cannot stop everything. Cannot halt death in its tracks. But perhaps it can make the pause between death's footsteps sound and look and feel beautiful, can make the space of waiting a place where you can linger without as much fear. For we are all walking each other to our deaths, and the journey there between footsteps makes up our lives.]
    Reached; Ally Condie (Matched Trilogy, book 3)

    [Inside her, some annoyed part of her mind was mocking the Meditation: I will meet the terminally clueless today, it said piously: idiots, and those with hairballs for brains, and whose ears need a good shredding before you can even get their attention. I do not have to be like the, even though I would dearly love to hit them hard enough to make the empty places in their heads echo. . . .]
    —A miffed version of the Meditation, versus the real Meditation:
    [When I wake, I will meet my old enemy uncertainty, she [Rhiow] thought, and its partners, the shadows that lie at the back of my mind and others': those darknesses that go about hunting for some action of mine to which to fasten themselves. They will lie in my road and say, Why bother? or It will never work: or they will lie out long and dark behind me, saying, What difference have you made? It is all for nothing. But I need pay them no mind. They are only the servants of the Lone Power, and against me and Those Whom I serve, they have no strength unless I allow them the same. My commission comes from Those Who Are, the Powers that were before time and will be after it: the Powers Who made time, and to Whom it answers. My paw, lifted to strike the shadows away from the feet of the Event enacted, holds hidden within it Their claw that strikes the Lone One to the heart, day by day. So it was done anciently; so I shall do tomorrow. And for tonight, I admit of no shadow but that of my closed eyes, and I give Their claw the resting time to sharpen itself in dream on the Tree: for at eyes' opening, together We go to battle again!]
    . . . And yet another version (sorry guys; I just think the writing here is absolutely brilliant):
    [Even at the best of times, she thought, even when life seems normal, who among us can say with certainty that we'll see this world again tomorrow? Entropy stalks the world in all its usual shapes, and some less usual than others. I'll meet them, the strange and the deadly, but I don't need to crouch in fear or bristle at them in show of defiance. I know my job. My commission comes from Those Who Are. We stand together, They and I, in protection of the world They made and I keep. We may lose: there is always that chance. But meanwhile We keep watch at the borders, and contest the Lone One's passage. We will not let it be easy. We will not fall without selling ourselves dearly. And when in the worlds' evening we fall at last, and finally come home, We will find that we have brought with us what we love, bound to us forever by blood and intention: and the Lone One will stand with Its claws empty, and howl Her anger at the night. Then we will say, That was a good fight that we won: and come the dawn, We will make another world, and play the play again. . . .]
    —Three wonderful passages of writing. And now, for a quick mood shift:
    [Artie looked up, then, and said, "Who's going to do guard duty on the queen?"
    Rhiow glanced at Huff. They both turned and looked at Arhu.
    He went wide-eyed. "Oh no!" he said.
    "It's the best bet," Huff said. "She was known to have a soft spot for little kittens."
    "I'll 'little kitten' you, you big—"
    "Arhu," Rhiow said, slightly exasperated. "It's useful being cute. Exploit it a little. You can take the poor ehhif's [human's] mind off her troubles for a while."
    "What am I supposed to do? Play with string?" Arhu looked scornful.
    "If necessary, yes," Huff said. "Make sure you ingratiate yourself sufficiently with her, and she won't want to let you out of her sight . . . which, for our purposes, would be absolutely perfect."
    Arhu was opening his mouth to disagree again. "You will also probably eat like royalty," Urruah said.
    Arhu shut his mouth and looked thoughtful.]
    . . . And now, seeing the abovementioned plan in action:
    ["What was that you said? 'Meow'?" said Siffha'h, still rolling and stretching on the floor. "Look at you, squirming around like you've still got your milk teeth. How shameless can you get?"
    "Well, it says here that a cat may look at a king," Arhu said. "So I'm looking."
    "Well, this is a queen. And it doesn't say anything about being truly sickeningly sweet to the point where Iau Herself will come down from broad Heaven and tell you you're overdoing it. My blood sugar's going dodgy just looking at you."
    "You're a wizard: adjust it. Meanwhile, at least she smells nice. Some of the ehhif [humans] around here could use a scrub."
    "Tell me about it."
    "Well, come on, don't just lie there. We've got to get ourselves well settled in. Find something to be cute with."
    Siffha'h got up and headed for a thick velvet bell-pull with tassels. "All right, but I'm not sure this isn't going to stunt my growth." She started to play with the tassels.
    The queen burst out laughing and put Arhu down. "Oh, my dear little kitties," said the queen, "would you like something to eat?" She turned to look over her shoulder, toward the butler standing in the doorway. "Fownes, bring some milk. And some cold chicken from the buffet."
    "Yes, Your Majesty."
    "Now for once Urruah was right about something," Arhu said. "Milk and cold chicken. I don't suppose they've invented pastrami yet."
    Siffha'h inclined her head slightly to listen to the Whispering. "You're on the wrong side of the Atlantic. They do have it in New York. . . ."
    "Dear Mr. Disraeli is coming to see me before lunch," she [the queen] said to the cats. "You must be kind to him and not scratch his legs. Mr. Disraeli is not a cat person."
    "Uh oh," Arhu said.
    "I wish she hadn't said that," Siffha'h said. "I won't be able to resist, now."
    "Don't do it," Arhu said. "He might nuke something."]
    —Numerous excerpts from To Visit the Queen / On Her Majesty's Wizardly Service; Diane Duane (Feline Wizards / Cats of Grand Central, book 2) And in regards to the last comment Arhu makes on Disraeli nuking something: It's only hilarious to those who've read the entire book.

    ". . . And that is the trouble with choosing—there is always the one you didn't take. It may have been better, it may have been worse, but that's not the point. You could not choose both. And sometimes, when the tide is running fast, you only have one chance to decide. You do your best at the time, with what you know then. . . ."
    —Nicko Heap, PathFinder; Angie Sage (TodHunter Moon series, book 1)

    PS: When I say "unknown," I mean a) I really don't know who it belongs to; b) I think they'd rather remain anonymous; c) I forgot; d) the quote's in a PM or email or something private; or e) it's my own quote and I'd rather not say. Aggh crud! . . . You totally did not just read that . . .

    Quotes that make me ever thankful that I found this website:

    Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and good with ketchup.

    I write for the same reason I breathe—if I didn't I would die.

    We should all take a lesson from crayons: Some are sharp, some are beautiful, some have weird names, some are new and some are old, and all are different colors, but they still learn to all live in the same box.

    Weird people are like rainbows—colorful, unique, interesting, and sometimes even mysterious against the plain old sky. The sky is like normal people—same old, same old all around, at first interesting but then boring after too long and always being covered up by clouds.

    Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils in the end . . .


    Be nice to people. They outnumber you 6.5 billion to one. And that number gets bigger every minute.

    It doesn't matter if the cup is half full or half empty—it's poison both ways!

    Dinosaurs getting wiped out wasn't an accident! Barney came along and they all committed suicide.

    There are three types of people in this world: those who can count and those who can't.

    Sometimes, people build walls—not to keep others out, but just to see who cares to break through.

    I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me!

    I tried being normal, but I didn't like it.

    I don't obsess; I think intensely.

    Not obsessed. Just extremely dedicated.

    Whenever you think your life sucks, think of a tree that took fifty years to grow up only to be cut down and turned into a Justin Bieber notebook.

    When everything in life is going "your way," you know you're in the wrong lane.

    Me: Wow, I actually like being alive right now! Life: LOL, hold that thought . . .

    I'm not paranoid . . . WHICH ONE OF MY ENEMIES TOLD YOU THIS?!

    What you see is not what you get; if that were true the world would be a wasteland.

    The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense. Reality, I'm not so sure.

    Bookstores are evidence that the human race is still capable of thinking.

    Please do not annoy the writer. She may put you into a book and slowly torture you to death.

    Experience is the thing you have left when everything else is gone.

    WARNING: Do NOT walk in my footsteps. I tend to walk into walls and off the occasional cliff.

    At my lemonade stand, I used to give the first glass free and charge five dollars for the refill. It contained the antidote.

    Life and Lemons:

    -When life gives you lemons, it better hand you water and sugar. Otherwise your lemonade is going to suck.
    -If life gives you melons, you might be dyslexic.
    -When life gives you lemons, you turn them into apples and leave people wondering how the heck you did it.
    -When life gives you lemons, make grape juice and let the world wonder how that was even possible.
    -When life gives you lemons, you scream, "I wanted LIMES! So I'm grouchy and you're deaf?!"
    -When life gives you lemons, you cut them in half and squirt life in the eye.
    -When life gives you lemons, squeeze them in someone else's eyes and RUN!

    The statistics of insanity is that one in every four Americans is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If it's not them, it's you.

    I didn't fall, I just threw myself on the floor!

    Doctors say I have multiple personality disorder. We disagree with that.

    Don't mess with me: I've got a stick. (Jayfeather . . .)

    Worst excuse for not turning in homework: I couldn't find anyone to copy it from.

    Enjoy every minute of life. There's plenty of time to be dead.

    Forgive your enemies—it's what will annoy them most.

    Real girls aren't perfect, and perfect girls aren't real. You want a perfect girl? Go buy a Barbie or make up a Mary-Sue.

    If at first you do succeed, try not to look too astonished.

    If at first you do not succeed, destroy all evidence that you did.

    Think about perfection this way: If everyone was perfect, we'd have a world of Mary-Sues and Gary-Stus. Now that, my friends, is what I call scary.

    Best friends are the people that know all about you and still put up with you.

    It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 to smile, and only 4 to reach out and slap someone.

    Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

    Yes, I hit like a girl. You could too if you hit a bit harder.

    If the grass is greener on the other side, it's probably fake turf. And if it's not, you can bet the water bills are going to be higher.

    The world is full of crazy people. They made me their leader.

    Bending the rules is good . . . Breaking the rules is bad.

    I dream of a better tomorrow—a tomorrow where chickens can cross roads and not have their motives questioned.

    Just say no to drugs. Because if drugs are talking to you, you've probably had too many.

    When in doubt, make words up!

    In order to lose your mind, you have to have one in the first place.

    Flying is easy. Just throw yourself at the ground and miss.

    I have not yet begun to procrastinate.

    PROCRASTINATORS, UNITE! . . . Tomorrow.

    Two things are infinite; human stupidity and the universe. And I'm not so sure about the last one. (Derivative of Einstein's many quotes . . .)

    My friends are the type of people who would try to drown a fish, but I love them anyway.

    They say guns don't kill people; people do. Well I think guns help. I mean, if you stood there and yelled "BANG!" I don't think you'd kill too many people.

    Whoever said words don't hurt never got hit by a dictionary.

    Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when nobody is looking.

    Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed, I tell you!

    Curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back.

    Person #1: Happiness is just around the corner! Person #2: Too bad the world is round!

    Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use.

    Whoever said "nothing is impossible" has never tried slamming a revolving door.

    Wanna know how to keep an idiot busy? Take him into a round room and tell him to sit in a corner.

    People who think they know everything annoy those of us who do.

    Chocolate is the answer no matter what the question is. (Including "What's the meaning of life?")

    Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film.

    I have a photographic memory too. It just takes a day to develop.

    Death is like Life's way of telling you, "YOU'RE FIRED!"


    Money does not truly buy happiness, but it pays for my Internet, which is pretty much the same thing.

    Money doesn't really buy happiness . . . But it does buy books!

    I'm the author of my own life, and unfortunately I'm writing in pen.

    This is NOT Subway. You can't have it "your way."

    You say I'm not cool. Cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.

    We're not retreating! We're advancing in a different direction!

    I used to think that the whole world was against me. Now I know that's not true. Turns out some of the smaller countries are neutral!

    I don't think I could ever stab someone. I mean, let's be honest. I can barely get the straw in the Capri Sun.

    When I was born I was so surprised I didn't talk for a year and a half!

    Please note: Christmas is canceled. Apparently you told Santa you were good this year—and he died laughing.

    "Sir, we're surrounded!" "Excellent, we can attack in any direction!"

    Don't you dare tell me the sky's the limit when there are footprints on the moon!

    If you don't like me, there's nothing I can do. Here's a newsflash honey: I don't live to please you.

    Normality will be restored as soon as we figure out what it is.

    Okay, I'm weird! But I'm saving up to become eccentric.

    Don't knock on Death's door. Ever heard of ding dong ditch? He hates that.

    Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll land among the stars.

    The newscaster is the person who says, "Good evening" and then tells you why it's not.

    Forecast for tonight: Darkness.

    A recent survey stated that the average person’s greatest fear is having to give a speech in public. Somehow this ranked even higher than death, which was third on the list. So, you’re telling me that at a funeral, most people would rather be the guy in the coffin than have to stand up and give a eulogy.

    An idiot is a window washer on the forty-fourth floor who steps back to admire their work.

    I don't have a short attention span, I just—ooh look, a kitty!

    Love your enemies. It gets them really confused.

    I am NOT saying you're stupid . . . I'm just implying it.

    Some people say the glass is half empty and some say it's half full. Me? I just want to know who's drinking my dang soda.

    My imaginary friend thinks you have some serious mental problems.

    I'm not lost, I'm exploring.

    Last night I was lying in bed, looking up at the stars and I thought . . . WHERE THE HECK IS THE CEILING?!

    Smile—it makes people wonder what you're up to.

    Always proofread to make sure you don’t any words out.

    It takes skill to trip over flat surfaces.

    When you wish upon a falling star, your dreams can come true. Unless it's actually a meteor hurtling toward Earth which will destroy all life. Then you're pretty much hosed no matter what you wish for. Unless it's death by meteor.

    "There are 1000 ways I could kill you, and 951 of them hurt." "So what do the other 49 of them do? Tickle?"

    One out of four people is insane. Look at three of your friends. If it's not them, it's you.

    Be insane—well-behaved people never made history.

    I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it!

    The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

    You laugh now because you're older than me by mere months, but when you're 30 and I'm still 29, who'll be laughing then?

    Of course I'm not normal! Where have you BEEN for the last two decades?!

    I didn't lie! I just created fiction with my mouth!

    Why isn't chocolate considered a vegetable, if chocolate comes from cocoa (or cacao) beans, and all beans are a veggie?

    I'm the type of girl who will burst out laughing in dead silence over something that happened a year ago.

    On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key.

    If FedEx and UPS merged, they would become FedUP.

    It's you and me versus the world. . . . We attack at dawn.

    Just when I think you've said the stupidest thing ever, you just keep on talking.

    There are no such things as stupid questions; we just have too many inquisitive idiots.

    If you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain.

    If you don't like my driving then stay off the sidewalk!

    You say psycho like it's a bad thing . . .

    Sarcasm isn't an attitude, it's an art.

    Knowing I had to crawl all the way up the mountain makes the view so much better.

    I've reached the top of the mountain. It's time for me to make a pair of wings and FLY HIGHER.

    If you don't understand how someone could love their sibling and want to wring their necks at the same time . . . then you were probably born an only child.

    One day we'll look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject.

    Sometimes I lie awake at night asking myself what I've done wrong, then the voice in my head (ANGEL!) says, "This is going to take more then one night . . ."

    I hear voices, and they don't like you.

    After Monday and Tuesday, the calendar always says: W T F

    I don't get even; I get odder.

    Move on. It's just a chapter in the past. But don't close the book, just turn the page.

    (Nice play on words . . .) If God had intended Man to smoke, he would have set him on fire.

    Be OPTIMISTIC . . . All the people you hate are eventually going to die!!

    I'm not so good with the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?

    Growing old is mandatory. Growing up is optional . . .

    DO NOT HIT KIDS!! No, seriously. They have guns now.

    If you always stop and smell the roses, sooner or later you'll inhale a bee.

    Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That's why it's called the present.

    If the world didn't suck we'd all fall off.

    Light travels faster than sound, which is why some people seem bright until they speak. (Pretty sure that's Einstein's quote, but eh)

    If I had one wish, obviously I'd wish for unlimited wishes!

    Whatever you do, always give 100% . . . Unless you're donating blood.

    Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to change it every two months.

    Labels are for cans. And in case you haven't noticed—I'm not a can.

    Don't upset me. I'm running out of places to hide the bodies.

    To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

    Software engineering today is a race between programmers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe striving to build bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning. (Yeah, and I think I know Who's behind it all . . .)

    Relax, I'm just as sane as I look . . . which is not very sane at all.

    Raisin cookies that look like chocolate chip cookies are the main reason I have trust issues.

    Normal is just a setting on a washing machine.

    The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.

    There are three types of people: Those who learn by reading, a few who learn by observation, and the rest who must test the electric fence for themselves.

    If zombies eat brains, you and I are safe.

    If the dark side has cookies and the light side has chocolate, does the middle have chocolate cookies? Go Middle!

    The voices in my head may not be real but they still have some pretty good ideas . . .

    Never take life too seriously. No one comes out alive anyway.

    Excuse me while I attempt to find a container for my joy.

    Your multiple personalities are freaking out my imaginary friend!

    I'm not a complete idiot. Some parts are missing.

    The problem with democracy is that some people are stupid, but the problem with dictatorships is that all dictators are stupid.

    Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.

    Most people learn by observation, and there are the few who learn by experimentation. And then there are those who actually TOUCH the fire to see if it's really hot.

    Math is the only place where you can buy seventy cantaloupes and no one wonders what the heck is wrong with you. (Has anyone read 12 Again and how the mom has to take those math tests and she's mentally laughing her head off at how ridiculous it is? . . . Perfect illustration right there.)

    I find "good morning" a contradiction of terms. (Or connotations . . .)

    If you want to say something and sound smart, put the name of a famous philosopher after whatever you just said. —Aristotle

    Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.

    They couldn't repair your brakes, so they made your horn louder.

    When I die, I want to go peacefully like Grandfather did, in his sleep—not screaming, like the passengers in his car.

    I am sick of people having a near-death experience and saying they saw the light. You know what the paramedics do when they first arrive? THEY SHINE A LIGHT IN YOUR EYE! That's not GOD . . . It's a MAGLIGHT!

    I'm so gangster, I carry a squirt gun.

    When you talk to God, that's religion. When God talks to you, that's something entirely different.

    I'm not in denial. I'm just selectively picky about which reality I choose to accept.

    There's always a light at the end of the tunnel. Of course, it's usually an oncoming express train.

    Of course I'm out of my mind! It's dark and scary in there!

    You know you're stressed out when you can hear mimes.

    Life isn’t passing me by, it’s trying to run me over.

    You can never underestimate the stupidity of the general public.

    The difficulty is not so great as to die for a friend, as to find a friend worth dying for.

    They’ve promised dreams can come true, but forgot to mention that nightmares are dreams too . . .

    He who laughs last thinks slowest.

    You say I've lost my sanity. Well, I have news for you: You can't lose what you never had in the first place.

    They say the truth will set me free. Then why is it that every time I tell the truth I get sent to my room?

    You laugh at me because I'm different. I laugh at you because you're all the same.

    Sure I have secret powers! I just don't wanna show you.

    A clean house is a sign of a broken computer.

    Don't keep calm! You're a freaking fangirl!

    Still here? Am I that interesting?

    And one final thing I saw online:
    Me: I hope nothing bad happens to my favorite character.
    J.K. Rowling: LOL
    Rick Riordan: LOL
    Suzanne Collins: LOL
    (Get it? Get it? Get it get it get it? . . . Isn't it just so true?)
    NO NO NO WAIT! Someone in the Unwind fandom said to Neal Shusterman: "Do not pull a Victoria Roth on us!")

    "About the stories. They'll last, even if nothing else does. They'll be like a light in the dark, and they'll burn as long as the dark lasts and go on out the far side of it into the morning."

    —Gwyna, Here Lies Arthur by Philip Reeve (stand-alone)

    (And if you can't find the definition of what you're looking for here, check Fanlore. [External link])

    Alternate Reality / AR: A story that deviates from canon (see Canon) and is set in a world/setting/timeline/"reality" (hence the name "Alternate Reality") that had been established in canon, even if it had been mentioned in passing. It can also refer to a story set in another "version" of the canon, e.g. a book series's movie world, or vice versa. DIFFERENT FROM Alternate Universe / AU.

    Alternate Universe / AU: A story which deviates from canon (see Canon) and explores possible events had things happened differently. (Ex: What would have happened if Darth Vader had never gone to the Dark Side?) It may also refer to a story in which the setting is in a previously unstated (and thus the creation of the author's imagination) "universe," with no canonical proof that said "universe" exists / can exist. DIFFERENT FROM Alternate Reality / AR.

    Author's Note / A/N / AN: An author's note(s), commenting on his or her fic, or an element of it.

    Bashing: Poking fun of a character, pairing, group, or topic, portraying them/it as unintelligent, ridiculous, in a negative light, etc.

    Beta Reader / Beta (v. or n.): Someone who helps to edit a fic, or gives suggestions about said fic's elements.

    Canon: The way the story unfolded originally outside of fan fiction; the way the original creator or author portrayed it.

    Challenge: Similar to a writing prompt or plot bunny. (See Plot Bunny.) A challenge, though, sets specific guidelines/rules for the writer, or outlines objects or events the fic has to include. Can be any genre, or multiple genres. (See Genre.) A story written for a challenge is often preceded with "Written for [so-and so's / series's name] [the] [insert challenge name] [challenge] ." (Ex: Padme must knit a sweater for Anakin. Obi-Wan must learn to play the bagpipes. Mace Windu must wear purple. Must be rated PG.) (Ex: Written for FanficLover's Yuletide Crossing Paths Challenge.)

    Companion Piece: A piece of writing that is somehow/somewhat connected to something else the author has written. Differs from a series in that events do not need to be in chronological order, or even mentioned in both stories. Similar emotions or events can connect them instead.

    Cover Art / Coverart: Art created for a fic's cover, either by the author themselves, or someone else. Similar to the cover for a novel.

    Citrus: A story with light romance. Can include / Includes hugging, kissing, cuddling, etc. (Can be referred to as "fluff" or a "fluffy" story.) (See Fluff.)

    Crack fic / Crackfic: Fics that have unique or strange plots, or maybe no plot at all. Can usually be classified as humor. (Ex: A story about Darth Vader and the pet bunny he named Fred.) Can also refer to a pointless fic, or one meant to make the readership laugh until . . . Never mind.

    "Crack" ship / Crack ship / Crackship: A ship (see Ship) or pairing (see Pairing) that is nonsensical, random, or completely non-canonical. It is often unaccepted as fanon (see Fanon). Usually is supported by the creator of the crack ship.

    Crossover: A fic which combines two or more fandoms, connecting canon events or creating situations where characters from different fandoms meet. (See fandom.)

    Death fic / Deathfic: A fic that someone writes when the main character (or just characters) die normally. It can also refer to a fic in which the author writes about a character mourning / "getting over" / thinking about the death of (an)other character(s). Usually takes the form of one-shots or two-shots. (See One-shot and/or Two-shot

    Disclaimer: A note by the author of a fic acknowledging that the characters and events they are portraying are not their original or intellectual property. They may also state that the author does not intend to make any profit from their writing or infringe upon the original creator's rights. (Often written as a safeguard against lawsuits, admin banning, angry authors / copyright owners, etc.)

    Drabble: A very short piece of writing meant to convey or portray a specific emotion, point, or instance. In its strictest form, it is limited to one hundred words, not including author's notes. (See Author's Note.) Thus, drabbles are often used as challenges and/or writing prompts. (See Challenge.) (Lately, authors have also expanded the definition of "drabble," which may result in "extended" drabbles, such as bidrabbles.)

    Fandom: A term for the show, movie, book, or cartoon which a fan supports, enjoys, or is writing fan fiction for. (Ex: Harry Potter, Star Wars, Dark Angel, Supernatural, etc.)

    Fan Fiction / Fanfic / Fic: Stories written by fans for television shows, books, movies, or cartoons, about the characters or events included within a specific fandom or fandoms. (See Fandom.)

    Fanon: The fan version of canon. (See Canon.) The story might not have been written that way, but there are certain events, story lines, or characteristics that are / can be (generally) accepted as fact by the fans.

    Femslash: Slash (see Slash) between two female characters.

    Flame / Flaming (v.): A cruel, overly harsh review of someone’s work without any constructive criticism; a review comprised entirely of insulting remarks; a review written with the sole purpose of upsetting the author and/or their story.

    Fluff: Fics that are lighthearted, usually very cute, and/or very romantic.

    Gary-Stu / Gary Stu: A character, most often male, who fits all stereotypical labels (can be described as "perfect") and could be the answer to all conflicts in a storyline/fic. The character is usually interested in / romantically paired with a primary character (who also can be labeled as another "perfect" character). It is the "male version" of a Mary-Sue. (See Mary-Sue / Mary Sue.)

    Gen / Genfic: A story that is free of any slash or overly graphic content. (See Slash.) Can also be used to mean that the story is free of any type of romantic relationship, pairing, ship, etc. (See Pairing and/or Ship.)

    Genre: The category a story belongs to (very similar to that of canonical fiction genres). (Ex: Humor, angst, romance, etc.)

    Het: A romantic relationship in a story between a male and a female. (See Pairing

    In-character / In Character / IC: Describes the way that a character's personality is portrayed in a fic, which matches what fans have come to expect from that character.

    Kink / Kinky (adj.): An eccentric idea or unusual sexual tastes with lemon, lime, etc. (See Lemon and/or Lime.)

    Lime: A fic with lightly discriptive sex scenes but black out before / lack of anything "worse."

    Lemon: A fic with very discriptive sex scenes.

    Mary-Sue / Mary Sue: A character, usually female, that is very stereotypical or even so far as "perfect," and often has all the answers to all the problems in a storyline. The character is also usually interested in, or paired romantically with, one of the other primary characters (who often also happens to be another "perfect" character). The male version of a Mary Sue is often called a Gary Stu. (See Gary-Stu / Gary Stu.)

    MPreg: (Normally in yaoi (see Yaoi / Yeri.).) When a male has the child instead of a female.

    OC / Original Character: An original character of your own creation, who is not canonical. (See Canon.)

    Out of Character / OOC: Describes or refers to the way the portrayal of a character [in a fic] doesn't match what fans have come to expect from that character, or even a departure from the character's personage.

    One-Shot: A piece of writing, similar to a vignette (see Vignette), that is not connected to or intended to follow another story. The characters' thoughts are often less internally focused than a vignette, however, and the tone less formal. Can be any genre. (See Genre.) Though usually consisting of one chapter, two-shots and three-shots are examples of longer one-shots. (See Two-Shot and/or Three-Shot.)

    One True Pairing / OTP: A romantic pairing that a fan personally believes is the only true or acceptable romantic pairing in a fandom. Usually, but not necessarily, a pairing that is part of canon. (See Canon.)

    Pairing: Similar to a ship (see Ship). Normally refers to a canonical romantic pairing between two of the fandom's (see Fandom) characters, usually straight. (See Het.) When used, most often it is meant to differ from a slash. (See Slash.)

    Plot Bunny: An idea for a story that may or may not be in [the early stages of] development, or (less often used as) an element of a story.

    POV / Point of View: The perspective a story is written from.

    PWP / Porn with Plot: Self-explanatory. . . .

    Ship: A particular romantic pairing (see Pairing). Can also refer to a pairing whose degree of acceptability (depending on the fandom (see Fandom), its relative fanon (see Fanon), canon (see Canon), etc.), can be debated upon.

    Shipper: Someone who likes, supports, or promotes a certain romantic pairing.

    Shmoop: The fluffiest fluff. (See Fluff.)

    Slash: Male/male or female/female romantic parings. (Female/female parings are often referred to as femslash. (See Femslash.))

    Spoiler / Spoilers: Information, references, and/or events from certain episodes, books, or movies within a fandom that others may not know of, or wish to know of. Especially important for an ongoing series like a television show, since not every fan may have seen the most recent episode. (Similarly, in a fandom of a book series, spoilers would consist of So-and-So dies in the last book, or such remarks.)

    Switzerland (n. used as adj. or adv.): Typically in all fandoms, [the state of being] neutral towards shipping (see Shipping); having no shipping at all.

    Tag: A story with events that are connected to, meant to follow, or meant to occur just before events in a certain episode, book, or movie in a fandom. Often explores a character's thoughts or feelings about those events.

    Three-Shot: Similar to one-shot and two-shot (see One-Shot and/or Two-Shot), only three chapters long.

    Two-shot: Similar to one-shot, only two chapters long. (See One-Shot and/or Three-Shot.)

    Verse / 'Verse: (Short for "universe.") The events, characters, and storyline surrounding a fandom or an AU series of fics. (See Alternate Universe / AU.) Often used in phrases like "movie 'verse," "comic 'verse," etc.

    Vignette: A short piece of writing, usually a story which is only a few pages or a [few] chapter(s) long, that focuses on making a particular point or exploring a particular emotion or event. The characters' thoughts are usually internally focused, and the tone more formal. Can be any genre. (See Genre.)

    WIP / Work in progress: A story that is not posted completely, and is still being written.

    Whump / Whumping: Severe mental or physical pain in a fic, which can be focused on a main character or group of main characters.

    Yaoi / Yeri: Same-sex couples; usually used in an anime fandom.

    Now copy and paste things! This is probably the longest part of my profile. Feel free to copy/paste anything from here! So . . .

    Copy and paste with percentage things:

    Did you know, 97% of percentages you see on FFN are made up on the spot?

    A large percent of writers don't know the difference between "your" and "you're," "its" and "it's," and "their," "there," and "they're." If you're one of the writers who does know and wants to slug them, copy and paste this into your profile.

    95% of the girls in the world would cry a river if Justin Bieber was chosen for the Hunger Games. Repost this if you are the 5% that would just volunteer as tribute just to chase him around with a (VERY) pointy stick! (Although he'd be a useful ally—just have him sing and anyone within earshot would die! Well, as long as you don't forget to bring earplugs.)

    95 percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the 5 percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list: AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Yavie Aelinel, Crazy Billie Joe Loving Freak, Shadow929,SweetNCrazieSugarmuffin,The Komodo Dragon Phoenix,Bust_A_Groover, Tecna, Triggonseed, The Only Innocent Writer Here-Yumi, Kikyouhater118, Midnight-angel-of-darkness, adngo714,cyber-porygon, the aku dragon of light, PirateCaptainBo; Ski Bo, pyro_manic19, ImmaLickYou, BloodredAngel808,tmmdeathwishraven, Spottedpool, oOHawkpathOo, Crystal Silvera

    95% of teens would cry if they saw Justin Bieber at the top of a skyscraper about to jump. Copy and paste this in your profile if you are part of the 5% that would sit there with popcorn and a camera and yell, "DO A FLIP!!!!"

    95% of people would go nuts if Edward Cullen jumped off a building. 4% would yell "JUMP!" If you are the 1% that would push him, copy this and paste it and put it on your profile!

    97% of teens would cry if they saw Robert Pattison standing on top of a skyscraper, about to jump. If you're one of the 3% who would sit there eating popcorn and screaming, "DO A BACK FLIP, YOU SPARKLY* IDIOT!" then copy and paste this on your profile.
    (*Note to Ruby Aryna: You seriously didn't know what the "sparkly" was referring to?! T.T Here's a clue: Robert Pattison = Edward Cullen.)

    Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are unconcerned by the dismal state of their education, or the fact that their fanfiction is raping the English language. If you're part of the five percent of fanfiction writers/readers who do care about such things, cut/copy and paste this, and then leave reviews for those poor souls who know not what they do.

    90 percent of teens today would die if MySpace/Facebook had a system failure and was completely destroyed. . . . If you are one of the 10 percent that would be laughing, copy and paste this to your profile.

    Less than 1 percent of female teenagers don't use makeup. Are you one of those who don't? BE PROUD AND GLUE THIS THING IN YOUR PROFILE!

    93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile and add your name to the list: Sunlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Moonlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Evil Genius of the COCA, Invader Miley Phantom, dAnnYsGiRl777, BloodySalvation, Lady Lost-A-Lot, bellabookworm9, GoodyGoody23, -xIxHEARTxEDWARDx-, sakurabloom1124, AzarathianWarrior, Wolfofdoom, guard of the twilight, 1238904756, Crystal Silvera

    92 percent of American teens would die if Abercrombie and Fitch told them it was uncool to breathe. Copy this in your profile if you would be the 8 percent that would be laughing your head off.

    About 95 percent of girls would scream if Edward Cullen jumped over a cliff, 4 percent would yell "JUMP!" and 1 percent would push him off. Post this on your profile and tell us: Which side are you on? ONE PERCENT WHO'D PUSH HIM OFF, THEN THROW A BRICK DOWN WITH HIM TO ENSURE HE DIES! TRAITOR TO HARRY POTTER!! O.o

    95% of girls would scream if Justin Bieber went missing: Copy and paste this on your profile if you're one of the five percent that would poke your new prisoner with a stick (for eternity)!

    If you are part of the .0000001 percent of people who don't have a MySpace/Facebook, copy this onto your profile. (Personally I don't think that percentage is valid but . . . eh well.)

    98 of the Internet population has a Myspace. If you're part of the 2 that can resist stupid fads, copy and paste this into your profile.

    ["We need to put your personal info in this," he said. "Now, how much do you weigh this week?"
    His sister glared at him. "Could you start with a more tactless question?"
    "Sure. Your IQ?"]

    —A Wizard of Mars; Diane Duane (Young Wizards, book 9)

    The things with . . . Oh, you'll see!

    Fanfiction is a site for people who have been called at least one of the followingWeirdo, Loner, Nerd, Lick, Geek, Shy, Silent, Creepy, Crazy, Insane, Eccentric, Psycho, Odd, Mental or Different. (I am different. Definitely. XD)

    Fanfiction is a site for people who've ever compared their classmates to characters from books.

    Fanfiction is a site for those of us who can't express ourselves in life.

    Fanfiction is a site for people talk to themselves . . . even if it's just in their heads.

    Fanfiction is a site for people who laugh at jokes that no one else gets.

    Fanfiction is a site for people who get funny looks for reading in class—a lot.

    Fanfiction is a site for people who admire the guy who tries to be different.

    Fanfiction is a site for people who say/write long words that other people don't normally understand.

    Fanfiction is a site for people aren't afraid to sit alone and read at lunch.

    Fanfiction is a site for girls who don't need guys to complete them.

    Fanfiction is a site for people who ditched reality and went for something different.

    Fanfiction is a site for people who are emotionally attached to characters and settings.

    Fanfiction is a site for people who hang onto dreams—and chase them to become true.

    Fanfiction is a site for people who are different, but don't care because they know it's who they really are.

    READ THIS!: Ten-year-old Warriors fan, Emmy Grace Cherry, was a Warriors fan who had warrior spirit. Emmy and her parents, Dana and Jimmy Cherry, were killed in a tornado in February 2007. On Wands and Worlds, a fantasy fiction forum, several fans agreed that she deserved a warrior name. One fan performed the ceremony and named her Brightspirit. Other fans agreed this was the perfect name. The Erins placed her along with her parents in the book Long Shadows as Brightspirit, Braveheart, and Shiningheart—the proof is even in the dedications page of Long Shadows. Please pass this message along by copying and pasting it into your profile and adding your name to the list of people who will always remember a true warrior: Wolfgrowl, Rainshimmer, Hawksky, Leopardheart, Winterthaw,Newlife, Rory's Greatest Fan, Redwolfvirus, Otterhope, Crystal Silvera

    IMPORTANT— Teenage girls who are NOT in love with Robert Pattison or Taylor Laughtner are fast becoming an endangered species. If you are part of this endangered species, copy and paste this in your profile. Quick, we need sponsors! (I'm endangered! XD)

    Scary Things Little Kids Love

    1. Santa—A big fat guy sneaking down your chimney stealing your cookies and milk who knows when you're sleeping, when you're awake, and if you've been bad or good? Can somebody say stalker already?

    2. Halloween—364 days of the year your parents tell you not to take candy from strangers, yet on Halloween it's encouraged? Also, who knows if one of those weapons are real?

    3. Fourth of July—Children are allowed to play with fire and explosives. Real smart, parents, real smart.

    4. The Tooth Fairy—A magical being who sneaks into your house at night and encourages kids to sell body parts. [1]

    5. The Easter Bunny—A bunny who sneaks into houses giving away candy-filled eggs. Well, actually this one isn't that scary. Just plain not right.

    6. Barney—He's a big purple dinosaur who sings happy songs about "I love you, you love me" and once took kids to the moon. Need I say more?

    [1] Hey, sounds like the black market in UnWholly! XD

    Hilarious way to "learn" Chinese!


    1) That's not right... Sum Ting Wong
    2) Are you harboring a fugitive?... Hu Yu Hai Ding
    3) See me ASAP... Kum Hia Nao
    4) Stupid Man... Dum Fuk
    5) Small Horse... Tai Ni Po Ni
    6) Did you go to the Beach?... Wai Yu So Tan
    7) I bumped into a coffee table... Ai Bang Mai Fa Kin Ni
    8) I think you need a face lift... Chin Tu Fat
    9) It's very dark in here... Wao So Dim
    10) I thought you were on a diet... Wai Yu Mun Ching
    11) This is a tow away zone... No Pah King
    12) Our meeting is next week... Wai Yu Kum Nao
    13) Staying out of sight... Lei Ying Lo
    14) He's cleaning his automobile... Wa Xing Ka
    15) Your body odor is offensive... Yu Sin Ki Pu
    16) Great... Fa Kin Su Pah

    Things to Ponder: (I love this thing. 8D)

    Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin?

    I wonder why people say "life is so short" when life is the longest thing that you will ever experience?

    If curiosity killed the cat, then what about its other eight lives? (Haha, only if it were a Clan leader!)

    Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

    Why is it that doctors call what they do a "practice"?

    Isn't it funny how the word "politics" is made up of the words "poli" meaning many and "tics" as in the bloodsucking creatures?

    Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

    If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, then is that considered a hostage situation?

    So what's the speed of dark?

    How come "abbreviated" is such a long word?

    A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station . . .

    If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with, "Quit while you're ahead"?

    Why don't they just make mouse-flavored cat food? (. . . Why are there two already about cats?)

    Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "s" in it?

    What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

    If the opposite of "pro" is "con," then would "congress" be the opposite of "progress"?

    If money doesn’t grow on trees, then why do banks have branches?

    Why be difficult, when with just a little bit of effort, you can be impossible?

    What disease did cured ham have?

    If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

    Why do alarm clocks “go off” when they start making noise?

    Why do we yell “Heads up!” when we should be yelling “Heads down!”?

    How can something be both “new” and “improved”?

    Why do we shut up, but don't quiet down?

    How did the “Keep Off the Grass” sign get there in the first place?

    What happens when Pinocchio says that his nose is going to grow? (Lol, sounds like the "when truth and lies are one" thing from DQ!)

    What color does a Smurf turn when you choke it? (Hot pink . . . duh)

    Do kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

    If knees bent the other way, what would chairs look like?

    How come Superman would stop bullets with his chest, but ducked when people threw stuff at him?

    If it's zero degrees today and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?

    Why is it an adult with the mind of a child is locked up and put in an asylum, while children are allowed to run in the streets?

    How come schools say they don't allow weapons but give all students textbooks?

    So when did time begin, and when will time end?

    Why do parents tell their kids not to accept candy from strangers 364 days and then on Halloween they encourage it?

    If two foots are called feet, then why do we say "footballs" instead of "feetball"?

    Why is the word "cheese" considered random? (And "cookies," for that matter.)

    If silence is golden, then what color is loud?

    How do scientists know the colors dogs see in?

    Why are apartments called "apartments" when they're all stuck together?

    How come we drive on parkways, and then park on driveways?

    If swimming is so good for your figure, then how do you explain whales? (Haha Rachel . . . S'reee . . . All those wonderful multi-fandom whales I know!)

    Why does the sun lighten our hair, but darkens our skin?

    Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?

    Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour? Nothing really rushes, right?

    When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?

    Why didn't Noah just swat those two mosquitoes?

    Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

    You know that indestructible black box that's used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?

    Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

    If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

    If the #2 pencil is the most popular pencil, why is it still #2?

    If sleep is so good for your brain, why isn't it allowed in school?

    Why are snacks called "fun-sized" when there's nothing "fun" about getting a smaller potion of food?

    If Cinderella's shoe fit perfectly, then why did it fall off?

    How do you know if your pen's out of invisible ink?

    If Walmart is lowering prices daily, then how come none of it is free yet?

    Why does the psychic hotline ask for your credit card number? Shouldn't they already know it?

    Why do they report power outages on TV?

    Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?

    If scientists were ever going to figure out how to travel through time, wouldn’t we now be seeing people from the future?

    Why do we teach kids that violence is not the answer and then have them read about wars in school that solved America's problems?

    Why is it called quicksand when it sucks you down very, very slowly?

    Why are they called marbles if they’re made out of glass?

    What color hair do bald men put on their driver’s license?

    How do you know when it’s time to tune your bagpipes?

    How do you throw away a garbage can?

    Why do we put our suits in a garment bag and our garments in a suitcase?

    When two airplanes almost collide, why is it a “near miss”? Shouldn’t it be a “near hit”?

    Is there another word for "synonym"?

    Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?

    If truth is stranger than fiction, then how strange are lies?

    If a taxi has to go backwards, does the driver owe you money?

    What would the speed of lightning be if it didn't zigzag?

    How much deeper would oceans be if sponges didn't live there?

    Why do they put pictures of criminals in the post office? What are we supposed to do, write to them?

    If you're sending someone Styrofoam, what do you pack it in?

    Why can't you find fresh sardines at a supermarket? (Well, if you know where to go . . .)

    If Barbie is so popular, why do you need to buy her friends?

    Can't anyone who has a job go into the doors marked "Employees Only"? Shouldn't they be more specific and say, "Employees of This Place Only"?

    Why are people so scared of mice, yet love Mickey Mouse?

    Why is it called common sense if it seems to be so rare?

    If you try to fail and succeed, what have you done?

    Is it possible to scream from the bottom of your lungs?

    If everything in the Universe is part of a larger system, then what larger system is our Universe part of? (And after that, what's that part of?)

    Why losing your pen is a death sentence:

    Lost your pen = no pen
    No pen = no notes
    No notes = no study
    No study = fail
    Fail = no diploma
    No diploma = no work
    No work = no money
    No money = no food
    No food = you get skinny
    You get skinny = then you get ugly
    Ugly = no love
    No love = no marriage
    No marriage = no children
    No children = alone
    Alone = depression
    Depression = sickness
    Sickness = death

    Lesson: Don't lose your pen, or you will die. XD (And what happens if you have too many pens? You live longer?)

    Letters the Mailman Forgot to Deliver

    Dear Yahoo,
    I've never, ever heard anyone say, "I don't know, let's Yahoo! it . . ." Just saying . . .
    Sincerely, Google

    (Same goes for Bing . . . LOL, LET'S BING IT! . . . Ha, Yahoo! still sounds more stupid.)

    Dear 6,
    Please stop spreading rumors about me eating 9. You shouldn't be talking. I hear you guys do some pretty nasty things.
    Sincerely, 7

    Dear Noah,
    We could have sworn you said the ark wasn't leaving till five.
    Sincerely, the unicorns

    Dear Twilight fans,
    Thank you for making us look sane and well adjusted.
    Sincerely, Trekkies (Star Trek . . . I have a newfound respect for it, and not only because of this. . . .)

    Dear America,
    You produced Miley Cyrus. Justin Bieber is your punishment.
    Sincerely, Canada

    Dear Impossible,
    Screw you. I just made a campfire underwater.
    Sincerely, Spongebob

    Dear Dreams,
    PLEASE stop ending right when I get to the good part!
    Sincerely, Sleeping People

    Dear Parents,
    I am fully aware that money doesn't grow on trees. That's why I'm asking you for it.
    Sincerely, Broke Child

    Dear Math,
    I am not a therapist; go solve your own problems.
    Sincerely, Students

    Dear China,
    Where do you dig your holes to?
    Sincerely, A Curious American

    Dear Lost Keys,
    Sincerely, Lost Phone on Silent

    Dear Kids,
    Give the silly rabbit some Trix already!
    Sincerely, the Committee of Compassionate People Worried about the Rabbit's Health

    Dear Cursed Black Hole At the Bottom of My Backpack,
    Please stop eating my pens and pencils and homework. I kind of need those.
    Sincerely, Unprepared Student

    Dear Slowest Walkers in the World,
    Please do not form an impassable wall in front me.
    Sincerely, Stuck Behind You and Late to Class

    Dear Dad,
    I think you took the Got-Your-Nose Game a little too seriously.
    Sincerely, Voldemort

    Speaking of Voldemort . . .

    If Harry Potter > Voldemort
    and Voldemort > Cedric Diggory
    and Cedric Diggory = Edward Cullen
    so Harry Potter > Edward Cullen
    which means Harry Potter > Twilight


    Well, after reading the following anagrams, I think someone had too much time on their hands . . .

    DORMITORY: When you rearrange the letters: DIRTY ROOM

    PRESBYTERIAN: When you rearrange the letters: BEST IN PRAYER

    ASTRONOMER: When you rearrange the letters: MOON STARER

    DESPERATION: When you rearrange the letters: A ROPE ENDS IT

    THE EYES: When you rearrange the letters: THEY SEE

    GEORGE BUSH: When you rearrange the letters: HE BUGS GORE

    THE MORSE CODE : When you rearrange the letters: HERE COME DOTS

    SLOT MACHINES: When you rearrange the letters: CASH LOST IN ME

    ANIMOSITY: When you rearrange the letters: IS NO AMITY (Heheh amity . . .)

    ELECTION—RESULTS: When you rearrange the letters: LIES—LET'S RECOUNT

    SNOOZE ALARMS: When you rearrange the letters: ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S

    A DECIMAL POINT: When you rearrange the letters: I'M A DOT IN PLACE

    THE EARTHQUAKES: When you rearrange the letters: THAT QUEER SHAKE

    ELEVEN PLUS TWO: When you rearrange the letters: TWELVE PLUS ONE

    TIMOTHY MCGEE: When You rearrange the letters: THOM E GEMCITY

    MOTHER-IN-LAW: When you rearrange the letters: WOMAN HITLER

    -Whoever made that is a GENIUS!

    Repost this joke if you find it funny:

    Harry Potter fans: "I want to go to Hogwarts!"
    Percy Jackson fans: "I want to go to Camp Half-Blood!"
    Chronicles of Narnia fans: "I want to go to Narnia!"
    Hunger Games fans: ". . . I'm good."

    (Well, Panem is just depressing and the arena requires no words. Sooo even though there's a pretty good chance you can get yourself killed in/at Hogwarts / Camp Half-Blood / Narnia . . . I think I'll take my chances. XD)

    For whenever you feel down because your writing doesn't sound good:

    REALLY BAD ANALOGIES WRITTEN BY HIGH SCHOOL STUDENTS (edited [slightly] from original; via Tumblr)

    1. Her eyes were like two brown circles with big black dots in the center.
    2. He was as tall as a 6'3" tree.
    3. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed.
    4. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30.
    5. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.
    6. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.
    7. The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.
    8. He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame. Maybe from stepping on a land mine of something.
    9. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.
    10. She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli and he was room-temperature Canadian beef.
    11. The revelation that his marriage of thirty years had disintegrated because of his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM.
    12. The lamp just sat there, like an inanimate object.

    I took down the "thingy for PJO/HoO people/demigods." I'm sorry. It lived a long and happy life on my profilehopefully, it will continue to thrive on someone else's . . .

    Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

    He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: Knowing when to come in out of the rain; Why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn't always fair; and Maybe it was my fault.

    Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6 year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

    Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer Calpol, sun lotion, or a band-aid to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

    Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

    Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

    Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

    Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason.

    He is survived by his 3 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.


    ...can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance

    ...are there handicap parking spaces in front of ice-skating rinks

    ...sick people go to the back of Walgreens to get their medicine, while healthy people get their cigarettes in the front

    ...people buy hot dogs in packs of 10 and hot dog buns in packs of 8 the banks leave both doors wide open and then chain the pens to the counter

    ...are there drive-thru ATMs with Braille

    ...can people order a double cheeseburger, large fries, and a Diet Coke people leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway, and keep their junk in locked storage garages the word "politics" used to describe the progress so well; "poli-" in Latin means "many" and "tics" means "blood-sucking creatures" we have Fourth of July, where explosives and fire are encouraged and treated as entertainment and a holiday we have a law that makes it illegal for a vehicle without a driver to exceed 60 miles per hour. (Specifically: CALIFORNIA.)


    1. "Better save that. We'll need it for the autopsy."

    2. "Someone call the janitor—we're going to need a mop."

    3. (My favorite XD) "Accept this sacrifice, O Great Lord of Darkness!"

    4. "Bo! Bo! Come back with that! Bad dog!"

    5. "Wait a minute, if this is his spleen, then what's that?"

    6. "Hand me that . . . uh . . . that uh . . . uh . . . thingy."

    7. "Oh no! I just dropped my Rolex." Pause. "Shall I fetch it?"

    8. "Oops! Hey, has anyone ever survived 500 ml of this stuff before?"

    9. "Damn, there go the lights again . . ."

    10. "Ya know, there's big money in kidneys. Hell, the guy's got two of them."

    11. "What do you mean you want a divorce?!"

    12. And the by far worst one: "Oooooooops!"

    Kids Are Quick

    TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America.
    MARIA: Here it is.
    TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America?
    CLASS: Maria.

    TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
    JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.

    TEACHER: Glen, how do you spell "crocodile"?
    GLEN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L.
    TEACHER: No, that's wrong.
    GLEN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.

    TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
    DONALD: H-I-J-K-L-M-N-O.
    TEACHER: What are you talking about?
    DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.

    TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
    WINNIE: Me!

    TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
    GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.

    TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with "I."
    MILLIE: . . . "I is—"
    TEACHER: No, Millie. Always say, "I am."
    MILLIE: All right . . . "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."

    TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louis, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
    LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand.

    TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
    SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.

    TEACHER: Clyde, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
    CLYDE: No, sir. It's the same dog.

    TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
    HAROLD: A teacher.

    -Side note to the above: Not always . . .

    1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
    "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished

    2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
    "You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

    3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
    "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of
    next week!"

    4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
    "Because I said so, that's why."

    5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
    "If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the
    store with me."

    6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
    "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

    7. My mother taught me IRONY.
    "Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about."

    8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
    "Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

    9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
    "Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck?"

    10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
    "You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

    11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
    "This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

    12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
    "If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

    13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
    "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

    14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
    "Stop acting like your father!"

    15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
    "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't
    have wonderful parents like you do." (What "wonderful parents"?!)

    16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
    "Just you wait until we get home."

    17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
    "You are going to get it when you get home!"

    18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
    "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to stay that

    19. My mother taught me ESP.
    "Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

    20. My mother taught me MORE IRONY.
    "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

    21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
    "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

    22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
    "You're just like your father."

    23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
    "Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

    24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
    "When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

    25. My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
    "One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

    Professor Flitwick . . . does not know where Snow White is.

    Professor Snape . . . has no wish to get in touch with his "feminine side."

    Professor Moody . . . The best "teaching" Hogwarts has seen in a long while.

    Professor McGonagall . . . does not take herself too seriously. It is a very bad idea to tell her.

    Professor Dumbledore . . . should be referred to as "Professor," "Headmaster," or "Sir"—not, under any circumstances, "Dude," "My Leige," or "Tim the Enchanter."

    Hermione Granger . . . has PMS and a wand.

    Ron Weasley . . . is very afraid of spiders.

    Luna Lovegood . . . is perfectly sane, thank you very much.

    Ginny Weasley . . . still wants her Hogwarts toilet seat.

    Fred Weasley . . . knows if he and his twin giggle at an idea for more than fifteen seconds, they may assume that it’s against the rules and therefore should not carry it out.

    George Weasley . . . knows he and his twin will carry it out and are not even remotely sorry.

    Oliver Wood . . . has heard every single joke possible about his name. No, that is not a challenge.

    Lily Evans . . . swears she is not in love with James Potter.

    James Potter . . . doesn’t believe her.

    Remus Lupin . . . would prefer less jokes about "his time of the month."

    Sirius Black . . . escaped Azkaban, evaded Dementors, outwitted the Ministry . . . was killed by drapery.

    Andromeda Black . . . is going to marry a Muggle—screw the consequences.

    Gryffindors . . . will jump off a cliff.

    Slytherins . . . will push someone else off.

    Hufflepuffs . . . will call five hundred others and build a staircase.

    Ravenclaws . . . will get hold of a flying carpet. (That's me!)

    Now, something else I found!:

    Note to Self x100 (really, really weird but usually funny):

    1. Do not introduce self as roleplaying character in public

    2. Do not talk to fictional characters in public

    3. Do not answer fictional characters in public

    4. Do not talk to inanimate objects in public

    5. Do not go out in public

    6. Disregard above note. Perform numbers 1 to 4 (Fun!)

    7. Note expressions

    8. Don't die alone. Take many people with you

    9. Floor is slippery when wet

    10. Lake is slippery when dry

    11. Only talk to strangers you know

    12. Strangers you don't know are spies. . . . Kill them all

    13. For legal purposes be sure to delete above note

    14. Tell people about the spies that are trying to kill you

    15. Kill them for security purposes

    16. Crying does not solve anything. Try violent mood swings

    17. Make a scene whenever humanly possible

    18. The men in white coats are not your friends

    19. Ask them for a room with lots of sharp, pointy objects

    20. When that doesn't work, ask for a designer jacket

    21. Chicken soup, although good for colds, is not the best cure for drowning

    22. Flammable and inflammable mean the same thing . . . right?

    23. Unlike fine wine, milk does not get better with age

    24. Always remember, um . . . um . . . Darn

    25. Train an army of flying monkeys

    -. . . This ring a bell to anyone? Flying monkeys? (Then again, I have an Ozian friend . . .)

    26. Goldfish don't like milk. Rather, they will die upon contact

    27. Do not maim people. If you already have, kill them to avoid lawsuits

    28. Find out who invented the word "pianist"

    29. People are staring at you

    30. So act insane

    31. People are weird, but not as weird as me

    32. Do not taunt animals at the zoo. They have feelings . . . and teeth—lots of it

    33. Little people are aggressive. Stay away from little people

    -Side note: That reminded me of something my friend (Elphaba Lynn Daae) told me about Les Mis . . . "There's this kid in Les Mis and he's like, 'LITTLE PEOPLE ARE STRONG!!!' Guess what? Five seconds later into the movie, he dies."

    34. Going through other people's stuff is a bonding experience. Do this as much as possible

    35. You'll sometimes notice shadows late at night. Don't worry. It's only me . . . bonding

    36. Never pet a burning dog

    37. Never make eye contact with a naked man. Especially if you are wearing a parka

    38. Naked men dig parkas

    39. Beware the naked man who offers you his parka

    40. You know what would look good on you?

    41. Immolated cockroaches

    42. Don't worry. It's only a harmless pimento bug

    43. The size of Danny DeVito

    44. Making an amusing facial expression. Like this

    45. Numbers are evil. Count in clovers

    46. Stalking is fun. Do it more

    47. Make a large sign saying, "Look at me, I'm a gumnut tree!"

    48. (Another favorite) No matter what anyone says, there is a way to get to your fantasy world

    49. . . . And that way is rum

    50. You cannot kill the elements

    52. Likewise, you cannot kill the snow

    53. But the elements and the snow can both kill you (LOL SNOW)

    54. Grass can also kill you

    55. The leprechaun on the cereal box said I can't get his lucky charms . . .

    56. Catch and castrate leprechaun

    57. HE is real. . . . No matter what the men in white coats say

    58. Staple paper in the middle of the page

    -Side note: That happened in my class once . . .

    59. In case of blank looks, laugh maniacally

    60. You are not haxxor l337 or an uberhacker or anything like that

    61. Pretend to be so around teh n00bs

    62. Do not go out with voice #7. He is a sadistic, soul-sucking demon

    63. Disregard last note. Go out with demon. Who needs a soul anyway?

    64. Ask Senior Diablo for a bigger pitchfork

    65. Remember to kill HIM . . .

    66. Tell the small children in Toys 'R' Us that the dolls have an insatiable thirst for blood

    67. Note reactions. Avoid parents and their lawyers

    68. The blood of infants gives unholy superpowers according to Jhonen C. Vasquez. Test theory

    69. Scream, and if the doctors don't like it, they'll give you a shot of something nice

    70. Hide the bodies, otherwise people ask embarrassing questions

    71. Eat all evidence

    72. But not if it's broken glass

    73. When in the presence of someone much wiser than you, point in a random direction and yell, "Look, a distraction!" Then run

    74. Do not tell children that Santa is fat because he eats kids

    75. Disregard last note

    76. Note reactions and avoid parents

    77. On average, 100 people choke to death on ballpoint pens every year

    78. Stock up on ballpoint pens

    79. Learn to fly. Tell no one

    80. The secret to flying is throwing yourself at the ground and missing

    81. Do not stick fingers into blender

    82. Blender . . . Bad . . . Ouch

    83. Blood loss is bad

    84. Find way to reattach fingers

    85. Scream as much as humanly possible at 2 A.M.

    86. Answer every question with a question

    87. Ask people what gender they are

    88. Note reactions

    89. Refer to people as "mortals"

    90. The Seagull From Hell is out to get me

    91. Kill all enemies in most disturbing way possible

    92. Start by drowning them in fire ants

    93. Find the creators of pop-up messages and annoying ads

    94. Kill them

    95. Brutally

    96. Teachers don't like finding notes on world domination

    97. Dunk head in boiling water

    98. Disregard last note. Was written by Voice #7

    99. Gullible IS written on the ceiling!

    100. Investigate this whole "critical mass" thing when the klaxon dies down. . . .

    The Things That Make You Worry About Human Intelligence:

    On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (Too late!)

    On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (I thought it'd be cold!!)

    On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (But wouldn't this save me more time?)

    On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

    On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (Tell me why I bought the medicine again . . .)

    On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (So, I cannot use it in outer space nor any extra dimensions? Dang it!)

    On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for any other use." (I gotta admit, I'm real curious.)

    On Sainsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (Talk about a news flash.)

    On artificial bacon: "Real artificial bacon bits". (So we don't get fake fake bacon. Oh nooooo we get real fake bacon.)

    On a Myer hairdryer: "Do not use while sleeping." (Darn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)

    On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (For the bubbly idiots!)

    On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly". (Awh, that's the whole purpose of buying the costume!)

    On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals". (Genitals . . . ? Was this happening somewhere???)

    On a package of pasta after the cooking instructions: "Put on fork and eat." (No! Really? We're supposed to eat food)

    On a bar of Palmolive soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (And that would be how?)

    On some frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (But, it's just a suggestion . . .)

    On a Korean kitchen knife: Warning: keep out of children. (Something must've gotten lost in the translation. Like, big time.)

    On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (The shoplifter special!)

    ... ... .HHH ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...H;H ... ... ...
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    Eevee Power! Help Eevee take over the world by pasting this on your profile. Credit goes to EeveeInHeat! (I also made a few edits of my own. :D)

    Hello and welcome to the Mental Health Hotline. If you are obsessive compulsive, press 1 repeatedly. If you are co-dependent, ask someone to press 2 for you. If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5, and/or 6. If you are paranoid, we know what you are and what you want so stay on the line and we'll trace your call. If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be sent to the Mother Ship. If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press. If you are depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, no one will answer you. If you are dyslexic, press 6969696969. If you have a nervous disorder, fidget with the hatch key until the beep. After the beep, please wait for the beep. If you have short-term memory loss, please try your call again later. And if you have low self-esteem, hang up; all our operators are too busy to talk to you.





    within 3 minutes







    -Note: And that is what I think of things like, "POST THIS AND YOUR WISH WILL COME TRUE!" and whatever. I also highly disapprove of those things like the story of Carmen Winstead (we all know her, don't we?) and other posts where someone dead will supposedly haunt/kill you if you don't repost something. No offense, but that's seriously illogical . . . Plus, I'm alive, aren't I?

    My only concern whenever I go anywhere:

    Is there food here?

    Best childhood memory:

    Your mom's here! Quick, go and hide so you won't have to go home!

    Seen on a sign:


    This sign has SHARP EDGES

    Do not touch the edges of this sign

    (In tiny print at the bottom:) Also, the bridge is out ahead

    ["[I]f he's fighting with . . . with Them . . . with the ones who made the bright Book, isn't he in the wrong?"
    (I don't know,) Fred said again. (How am I supposed to judge? But you're wizards, you should know how terrible a power belief is, especially in the wrong hands—and how do you tell which hands are wrong? Believe something and the Universe is on its way to being changed. Because you've changed, by believing. Once you've changed, other things start to follow. Isn't that the way it works?)]

    —So You Want to Be a Wizard; Diane Duane (Young Wizards, book 1)


    Writing is an art, a form of expression, a culture element, a beauty, an emotion, an ever-changing force. Writing is a way of life. If you don't understand, you aren't a true author. Copy & paste this if you're a true author.
    (QUICK NOTE TO ABOVE: Slight disagreement. You can be a true author waiting to be uncovered, but that doesn't mean you have an appreciation of writing . . . yet. No one's gonna go into school and learn to write and go, "WRITING IS BEAUTIFUL. I WANT TO WRITE FOREVER" right away. Some of the best authors didn't know what was inside them until . . . well, until The Day It Emerged, I s'pose. Either way, no one (or very few people) knows immediately. Period.)

    If you fix typos in copy and pastes, copy and paste this into your profile.

    If you have a long bio/profile, and wish to hereby enhance and add to the length of previously said autobiographical document, copy and paste this to said World Wide Web page to make previously said autobiographical document increase in length, number of words, interestingness, and other things which would be known as fun or such entertainment to the pleasure of the empowered, copy and paste this rather lengthy and often repetitive piece of information to your (previously said) autobiographical document.

    If you ever wished you could live in a story, copy and paste this to your profile.

    If you would (even though you're not allowed to), live in a bookstore so that you would be the first person to get all the new books, copy and paste this into your profile.

    Did you know the average American only reads 3 books a year? If you don't believe that it's even possible to read that little, copy and paste this onto your profile.
    (I think I know how now . . . The curse of high school.)

    If you ever wonder if other websites have these "copy and paste" things, but don't know because you spend about 90% of your time on FanFiction anyway, copy and paste this into your profile. (Does AO3?)

    If you actually take the time to read other peoples' profiles, copy this to yours.

    Nerds are cool. Nerds are smart. Nerds will one day rule the universe. If you're a nerd and proud of it, copy this into your profile.

    If you've ever wished you could go into a book and strangle some of the characters for being so incredibly dumb, evil, or just plain old annoying, copy and paste this into your profile.

    If FanFiction shut down and you would go insane because of it, copy and paste this onto your profile. (Are you kidding? "Insane" is an understatement!)

    If you hear voices of the characters in your head . . . copy and paste this on your profile.

    I am a Deltoran. If you are a Deltoran and proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile!

    If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile.

    If you've ever wondered what you are like in another dimension/universe, copy and paste this into your profile. (I always did that after I learned that there's possibly an infinite number of universes [or was it galaxies? Eh, can't remember] out there and that there's most likely copies of you going around doing stuff in those extra universes/galaxies, since it's more than likely that your DNA sequence will reoccur at least once—or some other theory like that. Fascinating, isn't it?)

    If you sigh at the fact that because your profile is so long there is little chance someone would actually take the time and read it, copy and paste this onto your profile.

    If you're a person who is longing for an adventure like the ones you read in books, copy and paste this to your profile. (But, thinking about it, I'm a real scaredy-cat. The danger . . . eeggghhh. I am not one of those "What's there to life without risk?" people.)

    If drawing and writing are your passions, copy and paste this into your profile. (Not my only ones!)

    If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both . . . copy and paste this on your profile. (If I can.)

    If you have ever wondered why you exist and/or why your name is what it is then copy and paste this to your profile.

    Lief: *gasps in shock* "Barda, I think we're in the wrong story!"
    Barda: "Why would you think that?"
    Lief: *points at Manus* "Look at it! It's a Navi! We're not in Deltora, we're in PANDORA! Human resources shall PAY for this outrage!!"
    If you understand why this is funny, copy and paste this onto your profile, and add your name: Freida Right, Crystal Silvera
    (Poor Manus XD)

    If you believe in magic, copy and paste this into your profile

    When you ship Rowan/Zeel, and the author throws in a wild-card Shaaran, and you're all like, "STOP BLOWING HOLES IN MY SHIIIIP!!!!!"
    If you're part of that crew and proud of it, copy and paste this onto your profile. (Thanks to Freida Right, 'cos she's the one who wrote this and I TOTALLY AGREE! Shaaran was so randomly thrown in and, just . . . oi.)

    If you can say that you have dreamed about your favorite book, copy and paste this into your profile. (Look down, down below at number 25 of 50 random things about me.)

    If you're one of those people who get excited when you see just two reviews, paste this into your profile. (LOL, I die of joy when I see one!)

    Admitting you are weird means you are normal. Saying that you are normal is odd. If you admit that you are weird and like it, copy this onto your profile.

    If you have deja vu a lot, copy this into your profile.

    If you think that writing fanfic stories is fun then copy this onto your profile!

    Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia: the fear of long words. Now who the heck came up with that? If you think that's really funny, but can't pronounce it (at all), copy and paste this into your profile.

    If you have ever read a 250-page book in less than one day, copy and paste this into your profile

    TSUCGTGWWKTSPTWSTTOCWE (The Super Ultra Cool Group of Teen Girls Who Want to Kidnap Twilight Stars and Poke Them With Sporks and Torture Them in Other Creative Ways for Eternity) Join Us! Our acronym makes so much sense . . .

    If you're against animal cruelty (horse slaughter, bear baiting, dolphin hunting, chimp slavery, etc.) then copy this into your profile! (I saw "horse slaughter" and died. Also, if you're somehow not against any of those, watch Dolphin Cove. It will definitely change your mind.)

    IF YOU WANT A WARRIORS MOVIE, COPY AND PASTE THIS TO YOUR PROFILE AND ADD YOUR NAME TO THE LIST AND BOLD THE PEOPLE YOU KNOW, HAVE SEEN ON FFNET, OR HEARD OF: Squirrelflightlover, Dreamnorn.uplate, Nianque, AuthorAnomalous, Mosstail21, Brightsun, Avatar-state craziness, Fluttersong, Kawakage,Echosky Of ForestClan, Rory's Greatest Fan, Redwolfvirus, Otterhope, Skystar5, Mysticsparkle, Lilystar and AWESOME KITTEH, Quintian, Crystal Silvera

    If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects, copy and paste this into your profile.

    If you think being popular sucks, copy and paste this on your profile.

    If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading/writing numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile, and add your name to this list: danyan, zElDaPhAnToM-bLiNdBaNdIt-RaVeN, Firehawk, Rainfire, Snowfur, Firestar's Gal, Amberstar-Leader of SkyClan, Guard of the twilight, 1238904756, Crystal Silvera

    If you love FANFICTION.NET, add your name and copy and paste this into your profile. Rainstorm007, mysterys, Adderstar, Glissoning Raven, EspeonSilverfire2, owlreader, Stealthclaw, Celeste Night, Dappleflower, anipwrites, TinaFrostDahMuffinburger,SwiftStar1, Crystal Silvera

    If you have ever laughed so hard you either choked, hyperventilated, had your sides cramp, or all of the above copy and paste this on your profile. It has been scientifically proven that every time you get a good laugh you gain at least 1 more second of precious life! So heck, laugh!

    If you've ever wished you could go into a book and join the fun in the adventure copy and paste this into your profile.

    Some people say they are big readers. That they're so into books it's not funny. However the only way to tell is if they 1.) Suddenly gasp when something exciting happens in the book; 2.) Start talking to the book because that's not how they want the book to go; and 3.) Hurl the book across the room when one of their favorite characters dies. Copy and paste this if you are one of these people.

    If you've ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile.

    If your profile is way too long, copy and paste this into it to make it even longer!

    There are tons of people that are extremely concerned about couples/ships/pairings/slashes in fanfiction. If you like or dislike certain couples/ships/pairings/slashes, but still have nothing against those with different views, copy and paste this into your profile!

    When the love of Hermione's life left her, she continued to search for the keys to destroying the world's most powerful dark wizard. When Annabeth knew that she could be losing Percy to Rachel, she still fought alongside him in an effort to save Olympus, and maybe even save the boy she called her brother—even though he had gone to the enemy. When Katniss's love was taken from her she still led the rebellion against the Capitol as the Mockingjay. When the love of Bella's life left her, she curled up in the fetal position, went numb for months, then jumped off a cliff. . . .

    If you have ever cried when a character in a movie, T.V. show, or book died, copy and paste this into your profile

    If you love writing, copy and paste this into your profile!

    If people tend to misunderstand you copy this to your profile.

    Copy and paste this on your profile if you ever felt bad for someone in a book even knowing they are a fictional character.

    If you think makeup isn't that far from war paint, copy and paste this to your profile. ("Isn't that far from"?! It is war paint! XD)

    If you’ve used bold, italics, and underline all at once just to see what it looked like, copy this and paste it in your profile.

    If you were simply dying to know what happened with Allun and Marlie's baby, copy and paste this onto your profile. (Yeah, it's like she totally forgot to write about what happened . . .)

    If you have an obsession, post this on your profile to tell all those who think that you aren't normal to get stuffed, because obsession RULES! (Once again: DELTORA QUEST!!!)

    If you still wonder sometimes why Emily Rodda never wrote that sixth Rowan of Rin book that is CLEARLY missing, copy and paste this onto your profile. (No offense, but that was a total cliffie!! D8 Like, what happened when they got back "home"? Most importantly, what happened to my ship and did Shaaran die?!)

    Most people would be offended if someone asked them what was wrong with their mind. Copy this if you would be one of the few people that would answer, "Where to begin?"

    If you wish that a fictional character was real, copy and paste this to your profile.

    If you believe in your right to like/dislike what you like/dislike without the express approval of society or your local fangirls, copy and paste this into your profile.

    If you can raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too. Can you raed tihs? Olny 55 plepoe out of 100 can. I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed erveylteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? Cpoy and ptsae tihs itno yuor pfrolie if you can raed tihs!

    If you have ever yelled at the book you were reading because the characters did something stupid post this on your profile.

    If you think being called weird is a compliment, post this on your profile.

    If you're against any type of cruelty that exists in this world, copy and paste this into your profile.

    If you ever wished you could talk to animals or be an animal (or both), copy and paste this into your profile

    Paste this in your profile if you're a procrastination addict. (Or do it later.)

    If you respect and honor the dragons, copy and paste this into your profile.

    If you think that being unique is better than being cool, then put this in your profile.

    If you obsess over correct grammar/spelling when you're writing, copy and paste this into your profile.

    If you read your own stories or profile just for the heck of it, copy and paste this to your profile.

    If you've ever felt like something was watching you and then turned around to find nothing, copy and paste this into your profile.

    If you have ever been on one train of thought but got distracted for a few seconds and forgot what it was, copy and . . . what was I doing again?

    If you've read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile.

    If you hate when people don't continue their stories (unless it's a one-shot), copy and paste this into your profile.

    If you have ever seen a movie or show or read a book so many times that you can quote it word for word, and you do at random moments; copy and paste this in your profile.

    If you think that animal abusers are jerks, copy this onto your profile!

    If you have ever gotten temporary memory loss and then suddenly remember at a total random moment, copy this into your profile.

    If you think most flamers are dirt bags who spend their day thinking of ways to insult people, copy and paste this on your profile.

    If you are wondering what it would be like to have wings, copy and paste this into your profile!

    If you have ever gotten so completely sidetracked in a conversation that you don't remember why you were talking in the first place, copy this into your profile.

    If you have a book you intend to publish, copy and paste this onto your profile.

    If you think that horror films are just sick and wrong, copy and paste this onto your profile.

    If you absolutely KILLED yourself laughing when Gazzy said, "I vill now destroy de Snickurs bahrs!" then copy this to your profile!

    If you are aware that so many people nowadays pretend to be someone they're not, copy and paste this into your profile.

    If you like animals, give one a home if you can. If you already have or can't but want to spread the word, copy this into your profile.

    If you think that school budget cuts are evil and must be stopped right NOW, copy and paste this into your profile!
    (It's so annoying 'cos they're all, "Oh we can't afford buses anymore" or "Oh, we can't afford the good lunches anymore." ARRRGGHH!!!)

    If Fanfiction is your way of escaping reality and the rest of the boring people in the world and truly "unleashing your imagination" then paste this in your profile and add your name: Emerald Princess 14, StardustFromThePlanetGallifr ey, NarnianLady, KingdomHeartsNerd, Lady Alice101, TheOnlyMarauderette, GodofAWSOMEstuff, Katerina Riley, Aguilita Cruz, TailsDoll13, Crystal Silvera

    If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile.

    If when life gives you lemons you make grape juice then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it, copy this into your profile.

    If you want to learn Japanese, copy/paste this into your profile. (Well, I'm already fluent in Chinese, but Japanese would be plain EPIC! Then I wouldn't need dubs/subs for watching DQ anymore! Oh, and it is true that the Japanese voice actors are WAY better than the American ones!)

    Copy and paste this if you're still waiting for your Hogwarts letter to arrive. After all, the owl just just got lost . . .

    Mental anxiety, mental breakdown, menstrual cramps, menopause, did you realize how all our problems begin with MEN?

    If you've ever threatened your computer, copy and paste this into your profile. (Sadly, so many times.)

    If you loved DH, HBP, OotP, GoF, PoA, CoS, and SS/PS, and know what all those initials stand for, copy and paste this on your account.

    If you think it's stupid that girls are automatically labeled with the color pink, copy and paste this into your profile. (Because, about some hundreds of years ago, it was the other way around! Girls were blue and guys were pink. Don't believe me? Well. Consult Google. Or one of those Little House series's books . . .)

    If you are obsessed with something considered childish for someone your age, copy this into your profile. (Which are—Deltora Quest and fiction/fantasy books. My parents and [some of] my teachers are all like, "Read more nonfiction!!" HONESTLY WHAT'S WRONG WITH FICTION?! -.- And besides, that's pretty much all they got in my school library. So it can't be that "childish."—Oh yeah, I'm also obsessed with Deltora Quest, often labeled as "second grade reading level books." DO NOT JUDGE A BOOK BY ITS COVER NOR ITS READING LEVEL!!!)

    If you think Ferncloud has had too many kits to remember, copy and paste this into your profile. (If she died, the entire ThunderClan population would go extinct!)

    If you have ever wondered what the afterlife is like, copy this into your profile (Or, if it exists at all . . . I have this brain-numbing theory about the whole thing. T.T)

    If you think High School Musical is evil and brainwashes little kids, copy and paste this in your profile.

    Pluto was declared no longer a planet on August 27, 2006, because it was "too small" and "off its orbit" for some scientists' likings. If you think Pluto should still be a planet, copy and paste this to your profile. LONG LIVE PLUTO!

    If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.

    αвσut 160,440 pєσplє díє σf lung cαncєr єαch чєαr. αвσut 85 pєrcєnt σf thєsє pєσplє αrє smσkєrs. cσpч αnd pαstє thís σntσ чσur prσfílє íf чσu thínk smσkíng shσuld вє mαdє íllєgαl.

    If sometimes your fanfics seem to write themselves, copy this into your profile. (Lots of my stories seem to . . . At least, towards the end, things seem to tie themselves up. :) )

    If you write your own copy & paste things, copy and paste this into your profile. (Who doesn't?)

    To my friends who suffer thanks to others, and to the world:

    Spread the word and stop depression

    If you stare at those people who wear nothing but black, who spend their lives in silence, separated from others, or who always cry when they think you aren't looking at them . . . If you make fun of them, what kind of person are you, bullying and hurting simply so you can feel better, while these people who can barely feel any worse have much of their remaining hope destroyed. Depression is the worst thing the world has. It eats away at one's life until there seems to be no happiness left. Depression can be caused by hundreds of things. But what escalates them most is society. Bullying kills. Literally. But beyond the people suffering directly from those idiots are those who are afraid, unable to tell anyone how they feel. Those who hide their sadness, lock it away, transform their hearts into chests for tears. Until those chests sink, and try to burst open. That's when most people would cry. But when even your family teases you, when you have grown up with so much bullying that it seems everyone is judging you and no one cares, you cannot. You turn your sadness into something only actions can remove; anger. Anger at those who bully you, anger at those who are supposed to care.

    And then it comes back to the bullying. One cannot destroy some random thing without stares, without silent laughter. One cannot harm another without deep trouble. And then you hurt yourself. You start off with something small. Scratching your arms; biting your finger. Throwing all your sadness and anger at the one thing you have: yourself. For some that is enough. People around you find out, and you see they DO care.

    Some are alone. Some are better at keeping secrets. But even scratching cannot stop the anger and the sadness, or the cutting, or the burning, or whatever else you do. After time it becomes too much to bear. Nothing matters, not that your best friend is crying before you, not that you have decades ahead of you. At that stage, if you are brave. If you are given a time of such depression nothing matters but that it stops . . .

    Please. Stop bullying. Go to that lonely girl in the corner. Soothe the guy crying as he walks past you. If you see someone alone, someone sad. Remember that the greatest gift one can give is proof that you care, and that all one needs is someone to care for them.

    If you feel such a message is true, please, PLEASE spread it any way you can. If you want recognition for this, to show people who read this how many people DO care (I recommend you do this), please put your name beneath the list, or tell me, so I can hear.





    Crystal Silvera

    To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity:

    1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.

    2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.

    3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.

    4. When caught sleeping at school/work/wherever you are not supposed to be sleeping, and you are woken up, shout, "AMEN!"

    5. Put decaf in the coffeemaker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

    6. When you drop a pen, don't pick it up. When someone reaches to pick it up for you, scream, "YOU THIEF, THAT'S MINE!!!"

    7. (My favorite) Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with the prophecy."

    (Haha, sounds like something from the Underland Chronicles! Or, now that I really think about it, YW, Wings of Fire, or even Warriors . . .)

    8. Skip down the hall rather than walk and see how many looks you get.

    9. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

    10. Specify that your drive-through order is "To go."

    11. Sing along at the opera.

    12. Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day.

    13. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you have a headache.

    14. When the money comes out the ATM, scream, "I won!! I won!!!"

    15. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling "Run for your lives! They're loose!!"

    16. (Another favorite, as it sounds like something that could totally happen to me) Tell your children over dinner, "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."

    17. And the final way to keep a healthy level of insanity . . .

    Copy and paste this to make people who read bios smile.

    Add this to you profile if you think it's funny (and pretty darn realistic):

    Father: "You’re in big trouble Miss!"

    Child: "I didn’t do anything!"

    Father: "YOU KICKED HIM!!"

    Child: "It was an accident!"

    Father: "In the face . . . ?"

    Child: "My foot slipped!"

    Father: "Five times?!"

    Child: ". . ."

    Via u2bibliophile (Tumblr, again):

    Parent to child at the library: Shh . . . Remember what we said about being loud in the library?

    Child: We'll wake up the books.

    Parent: That's right.

    Dear bullies,

    See that boy doing his homework in homeroom? Last night he talked his friend out of suicide. See that girl you just called fat? She is starving herself. See that old man you made fun of because of the ugly scars? He fought for our country. See that young boy you must made fun of for always being sick? He has to walk home in the snow because his family is too poor. See that girl you made fun of for wearing lots of makeup? You bullied her for being ugly without it too.

    Repost this if you are against bullying.

    1. Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, and find line 4. Quote it. Now! "You must accept once and for all you cannot see Sharn."—The Sister of the South (from Dragons of Deltora! And as for you, Doom, if you did let Josef see Sharn we might've saved ourselves the whole Hira scenario! . . . Oh well, I guess everything did turn out for the best . . .)

    2. Stretch your left arm out as far as you can. What's there? Blinds on a window. Plus the glass of the window.

    3. What is the last thing you watched on T.V? Uh . . . something on Animal Planet, maybe? (I don't have proper cable anymore, as you can tell.)

    4. Without looking, guess what time it is! 4:00?

    5. Now look at the clock. What is the actual time? 4:05, yay . . .

    6. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear? My sister typing noisily upstairs due to the odd keyboard.

    7. When did you last step outside? What were you doing? Uh, like, six hours ago. And I was tagging along with my mom and my sister to register my sis for school. :3

    8. Before you started this survey, what did you look at? Some boring old math practice pages my mom's making me do. Ugh—80 to 100 problems per page and NO room to show my cramped work in. . . .

    Seven Great Reasons Not to Mess with Children

    A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.
    The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal, its throat was very small.
    The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.
    Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.
    The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah."
    The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"
    The little girl replied, "Then you ask him."

    A kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work.
    As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.
    The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."
    The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like."
    Without looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, "They will in a minute."

    A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five- and six-year olds.
    After explaining the commandment to "honor" thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?"
    Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, "Thou shall not kill."

    One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.
    She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?"
    Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white."
    The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, "Momma, how come ALL of Grandma's hairs are white?"

    The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.
    "Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'Look, there's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'See, that's Michael, he's a doctor.'
    A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher, she's dead."

    A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face."
    "Yes," the class said.
    "Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position, the blood doesn't run into my feet?"
    A little fellow shouted, "'Cause your feet ain't empty."

    The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: Take only ONE. God is watching.
    Moving further along the lunch line, the other end of the table displayed a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.
    A child had written a note next to it: Take all you want. God is watching the apples.

    She's emo? You'd cut too, if you've been through what she has.
    She's anorexic? You'd be too, if everyone called you fat everyday.
    She's a whore? She made one mistake that cost her: her reputation.
    She's a showoff? Her parents abuse her, & she's never heard a praise.
    She's loud? She's invisible at home, & she wants to be heard.
    She's quiet? She's afraid to speak, because she's afraid to get made fun of.
    She's fat? She overeats to drown her sorrow for her dead father.
    She's a geek? She wants to get into college, so she can support her poverty-stricken family.
    She doesn't wear Abercrombie? Her parents have been out of work for months: clothes aren't exactly her top priority if she can't ever afford food.
    She's ugly? Tell me, what is the definition of beauty?

    Who are you to judge them?

    You know their name, not their story.

    Hilarious and amazingly epic stuff from Reader's Digest (Yes, I read it . . . in the past tense. Our subscription—well, it's gone. D8 Ooh and: MAJOR disclaimer. In no way do I own any these!)

    From Laughter, the Best Medicine page 15 of RD July/August 2012

    My girlfriend is a vegetarian. She said that I'm not a real animal lover, because I eat meat, and that if I really loved animals, I would only eat lettuce, vegetables, and grains. I said, "If you really loved animals, you'd stop eating all their food."

    (That is actually one of my favorite quotes from RD . . . Defines my life right there. I can't live without meat. . . .)

    From the previous page:

    Researchers have developed a "red wine pill" that gives all the benefits of red wine without the alcohol. It's called a grape.

    From Humor: Life in These United States page 16 of RD July/August 2012

    Believe it or not, I just received a check from Medicare for all of one cent. Why, I don't know, but concerned that some arcane regulation—complete with penalty—would apply for not cashing in a government check, I took it to the bank. The teller looked at the amount, checked the endorsement, and the asked, "How would you like this, heads or tails?"

    From Laugh! :) page 184 of RD March 2011

    If you are always straightening things, you have OCD. If you are always eating things, you have OBCD.

    Huh?? Dumb Book Titles from page 124 of RD June/July 2011

  • Collectible Spoons of the Third Reich
  • An Intellectual History of Cannibalism
  • Father Christmas Needs a Wee
  • The Changing World of Inflammatory Bowel Disease
  • Afterthoughts of a Worm Hunter
  • The 411 on 911 from page 82 of RD October 2011

    Dispatcher: Nine one one. What is your emergency?
    Caller: I heard what sounded like gunshots coming from the brown house on the corner.
    Dispatcher: Do you have an address?
    Caller: No, I have on a blouse and slacks. Why?

    Dispatcher: Nine one one.
    Caller: Yeah, I'm having trouble breathing. I'm all out of breath. I think I'm going to pass out.
    Dispatcher: Sir, where are you calling from?
    Caller: I'm at a pay phone. North and Foster.
    Dispatcher: Sir, an ambulance is on the way. What were you doing before you had trouble breathing?
    Caller: Running from the police.

    Oh, Sweet Justice!: A Facebook mom teachers her son a valuable lesson from page 98 (Life's Funny That Way) of RD October 2011

    Hi, this is XXXXX's mom. I wanted to let all of you know that he is no longer allowed on Facebook because of choices he made today. He posted on Facebook personal information about someone that, regardless if it was true or not, was rude. Because he chose to try and make her mad by spreading personal information, I thought he should know how it feels when the tables are turned. He wet the bed until he was eight.

    From At Ease!: The RD/Stars & Stripes contest for the funniest military story on page 138 of RD October 2011

    It was Easter Sunday at our military chapel. The pastor called the children to the front and told them the story of how Jesus was crucified by the Romans, his body placed in a tomb, and the front covered by stone. "But on the third day," he said, "the stone was rolled away, and Jesus was not there. Do you know what happens next?"
    One kid shouted, "Jesus turned into a zombie and went after the Romans!"

    50 Random Facts About . . . Me! (Can also translate as: Prepare to Die.)

    1. As of March 2015, I am 14 and a freshman in high school. (Yay. T.T)

    2. If you haven't guessed already, I am Chinese. Lol. Did any of you guys out there guess?
    ([Insert laughing and snickering] . . . Seen on a FFN profile: Apparently 1 in 5 people are Chinese; there are five people in my family so it must be one of them. it's ether my mom, my dad, my older brother Collin, or my younger brother Ho-chan-chu, but I think it's Colin. Wait. "Ho-chan-chu"? Well, that's not Chinese, that's Japanese . . .)

    3. I live near some mountains and I attend the best school in the area, which I think is an epic place! So yeah, I like going to school . . . for the most part . . .

    4. I tend to repeat stuff I've already said . . . Have you noticed?

    5. I like mind games and riddles—as long as they're not too hard. And I can solve them. Unless they're really well-written and when you tell me the answer I'm like, "OOOOHHH . . . duuuh!"

    6. I'm a dabbler. I tend to spread myself too thin, get interested in too many things, try to do too many things at once—as a result, I have to limit the time spent on certain things to get to do other things. (I'm a collector [of various objects] , so that should tell you enough . . .)

    7. I am a proud band geek. (Marching season is coming, guys!! Don't die!) Face it: There's too many of us. XD (And besides, my school's music program is the best in the area. How could I not?)

    8. I think all the archives on here deserve more humor/parody fics! And some more well-thought-out one-shots would be nice, too . . .

    9. Due to my location being Southern California, I've had the wonderful opportunity to become a certified SCUBA diver. (Waits until sounds of jealousy fade) Yay!! Scary, but worth it!

    10. I love horses, unipegi (unicorn mixed with pegasus), unicorns, pegasi, water horses/hippocampi, dragons, birds (specifically cardinals, peacocks, peregrine falcons, red-tailed hawks, swallows, swans, Ashton waterfowl, hummingbirds, all kinds of birds-of-paradise, cock-of-the-rocks, and a lot more), wolves, dolphins, snakes/[sea] serpents, grasshopper mice (explained later in number thirty-five), many mythical creatures, etc! :D And a newer edition: chimeras! (See number 15 for explanation!)

    11. I don't listen to the radio so I don't know anything about the more "modern"/"popular" songs, except the really popular ones and a few oddities. But I do love instrumental music, especially when I drive my friends nuts by humming band songs. And currently, my entire YouTube playlist consists of wind band pieces, instrumental music, "epic" music, aaaand a couple choral pieces.

    12. I can play four different instruments, if you count the recorder, although I'm not sure how those skills will help me much except my years in piano. . . . (Darn it!)

    13. I am a HUGE font nut. I know that certain series have same fonts, what series/book is written in what font, etc. Example? uses Verdana in an edited form for the quotation marks and apostrophes, unless you use a newer computer in which they changed the font format completely. Plus, DQ and The Three Doors Trilogy are both written in Palatino (Linotype) (as well as some versions of Redwall books, The Blue Roan Child, and Tangerine). Oh, and a note: I am dead tired of the Goudy (Oldstyle) font. I had to read about three or four thick books in a row with that same font and my eyes died. (I think they were Rise of the Evening Star, Eon: Dragoneye Reborn, and The Red Pyramid. . . . Yeah. All big giant within-the-two-hundred-to-four-hundred page range and all printed in about, oh, six size font. . . . Nah, just stressing. Maybe ten. Hm.)

    14. I tend to cry easily when someone dies in books/movies. Doesn't everyone?

    15. I once took a test (on HelloQuizzy) to see which mythological animal I'd be and at the same time it also found out which two elements dominated my personality. I got . . . wait for it . . . chimera. (Ha, I didn't see that coming!) And for the elements, water and fire, more water than fire (67% water, 22% fire, 11% air, and 0% earth). I ish a chiiiiiimmeeeerrraaaa— Wait, what's up with the zero percent earth?!

    (To take this test, click here or go to helloquizzy(dot)com/tests/take?testid=16496001559243728725 if the link doesn't work. [Just replace "(dot)" with, you know, an actual period.])

    16. I've been writing since . . . Eh, I don't even know how long ago I started. I have vague memories of writing about a family of orcas (aka. killer whales. How pleasant) and, as my sister tells me, some princesses. (I know. Mind-blowing.) But the first story I consciously tried to write was about a unipega named Chrystla. ("Unipega" is not a typo—simply a "creative name"-sort product of my eight-year-old mind; my version of the word "alicorn"—which is one word I hate, might I add.) The first version of it I wrote was such an epic fail, I've rewritten it countless times. And I still haven't finished my, oh, fifth or sixth rewrite. 'Course, I finally got some sense into my head and discontinued it after that . . . Yeah. It took about four years for that sense to get knocked in there . . . Though I may or may not write an original story set in the same world, because it's undergone so much development . . .

    17. I have nothing against slashes and lemons but I will most likely never, ever read them. . . . Can you blame me? I saw a PJO lemon's summary once and was scarred forever. Didn't the rules say the summary and title have to be K or K plus?! What I read definitely landed both in the M category, no question!

    18. I think I'm pretty skilled at a lot of things (but true master at none), but maybe writing is one of the abilities I've sharpened best.

    19. There is a nature preserve literally right behind my backyard. And not long ago a hiker got lost in a canyon there. X3 Dunno how that's possible, seeing as the trails are all connected to each other, but eh.

    20. I'm in Southern California (as I may or may not have mentioned)! :D And we do get quite a few earthquakes, yes, but it's your bad luck if you get stuck in a big one. So far I've only experienced small ones that lasted less than a few seconds. :I Nothing that knocked stuff around, really. They just tend to scare us to death 'cos we know The Big One is coming . . . (Also, I don't know any movie stars or whatever. They're all in Hollywood and don't really talk with us lowly ordinary citizens of CA or anything.)

    21. The words my friends would use to describe me: Deltora Quest, Michigan, Nebraska, Florida, [overuser of the word] epic, horses, and a big reader. There's a long story behind the state names and you don't want to know—especially since my friends even get tired of hearing it. Friends have also called me a [partial] perfectionist, which is very true! ;D

    22. Sometimes I wonder if I could make my library books overdue just so I could give them some money to support the library . . . XD and I often get lots of overdues. (Combination of forgetfulness, procrastination, stupidity, and want-to-reread-that-book-again-and-again urge.)

    23. I tend to forget things, then remember them at a totally random time. And deja vu doesn't help that, I've got some things so mixed up!

    24. A lot of times people think I'm half Chinese and half American because I don't have the classic tiny Asian eyes—they're quite large, but they're still brown. Plus, I have bronze-black hair. That throws them off too. I find it highly amusing. XD (My friend's relatives, who also happened to be Chinese, thought I was Japanese. Really?!)

    25. The way I know I'm obsessed with something: I dream about it. (Yep you heard that right!) And I [sometimes] rank my obsessions by how often I dream about them, too . . . Indeed I am a strange creature . . .

    26. Out of all the books I've ever read, my favorite character is Jasmine (from DQ). But the most relatable is definitely not Jasmine—it's Nita (from YW). Haha, quite a coincidence . . . My two favorite characters are from my two book-series-obsessions . . .

    27. I don't understand the thing about blondes being stupid . . . I really don't. I had/have blonde friends, and none of them were stupid. Well, basically, I can't understand most stereotypes. (Plus: Just look at Hermione and Annabeth! Or watch Legally Blonde! Heheh . . .)

    28. People tell me I have a good voice when singing, but I say I only do well when I'm accompanying myself on piano. (Probably because the piano's louder than my squawking. XD)

    29. I daydream. A lot. What, is that a problem? I'm pretty sure that's where I get majority of my story ideas, anyway.

    30. I'm one of those people others call deep thinkers . . . I guess I'm a sort of philosopher, but I won't share any of my deep thoughts with the world. . . . Yet.

    31. I think I am horrible at taking notes, which is why I tend not to for writing/reading. Now I've started to, though, because I simply can't remember everything.

    32. I'm not sure, but I think libraries have the strangest ways of choosing which books to purchase.

    33. Epic, epic, epic, epic, epic, epic, epic . . . I love the word epic. It's epic! (Have you noticed? :D)

    34. I believe that everything has a beginning and an end except five things: space, time, numbers, circles, and knowledge. . . . Oh wait, I forgot [human] stupidity. So six things. (As YW so very wisely says: Entropy's running and nothing is forever . . . !)

    35. I love watching documentaries on nature and arts! They're just . . . awesome! 8D There was this one documentary about desert animals and they talked about a grasshopper mouse, which can actually howl (I'm not kidding) like a wolf in a squeakier tone! 8D It was so cool! Go grasshopper mice!!
    Note: Oh, documentaries I recommend: Home; anything about the thirteen crystal skulls, Africa: Eye to Eye (it's very pretty); and Dolphin Cove (although that one's really sad). I dunno if you can find those online . . . And the new National Geographic documentary series Cosmos is killing me. I want to watch it but I don't have the time . . . !!!

    36. There's a theory that people evolved from first fish, then lizards, and then monkeys. I completely agree with it. After all, it's an excellent explanation for our behavior. (Fish: Why some people prefer water to land. Lizards: Why some people are really quick on land. Monkeys: Why some people like fruit, climbing trees, and scratching their heads. And acting rather eccentrically in general, and an addiction to bananas. :P)

    37. I love love love stones, glass, beads, feathers, wood, gems, dreamcatchers, and shells. Is this typical behavior . . . ?

    38. My worst fear? Not knowing, simply put. I fear not knowing—it explains my fear of the dark and basically everything else that I'm scared to death of.

    39. I believe that seven is indeed the lucky number, despite the Chinese belief that eight is the lucky number and seven is the "ghost number" (eheheheheh . . . yeah don't ask, I honestly have no idea either).

    40. People often think I like pink . . . it's RED. RED!!!!

    41. I love Ramen/instant noodles, most any kind. And I know I'm not alone! RAMEN LOVES, UNITE!

    42. I'm the oldest child in my family, and I swear my sister is a copycat of everything I do and likes anything I like. Weird, but oh well. As long as she also likes Deltora Quest, I'm happy. XD But she is currently obsessed with PJO/HoO . . . Just great. -.-'

    43. I talk a lot, and heck, I love to talk about my obsessions! Have you noticed? :D (Believe me, I know how to ramble! And it's so much easier when it's written, too . . . I'm definitely not as good with the spoken word as I am with the written.)

    44. I am one of those people who love to type nearly anything, and can type pretty fast. I can also type without looking, which makes everyone stare . . . (Fun! Not.)

    45. I spend a lot of time imagining what it would be like to become a writer, being able to connect with all these people through something I enjoy doing (but I am so going under a pen name). . . . Yeah, I know. Daydreamer, but once it becomes reality I'll be the one laughing.

    46. I'd love to be an animal whisperer or anything alike. In fact, I wouldn't mind it at all if I ended up being a vet. Or working for NASA. Or . . .

    47. People at my school are always asking for me to draw stuff for them. Even some teachers did, to my surprise. And the funny thing is that I can only draw horses, unicorns, pegusi, water horses, dragons, [sea] serpents/snakes, wolves/coyotes, and any mixes of those. Yes, I can draw people, but they're (inside joke) god awful!

    48. I wear contacts and occasionally glasses too.

    49. This is my favorite number! And 49 is also the square of 7, the lucky number. Making it lucky-number-squared. XD

    50. So . . . yeah. Regarding fanfiction . . . I think this is amazing, which is why I'm still here after all these (two-or-three) years. It's union, and I find union one of the best things in the universe. Think about it: people from gosh-knows-where all come together to write and obsess over the same things. It's a phenomenon, and one that shouldn't go unnoticed. (Which it definitely isn't!)

    Actual court dialogue (this is hilarious!) that proves human stupidity:

    ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
    WITNESS: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
    ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
    WITNESS: My name is Susan!

    ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of impact?
    WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.

    ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
    WITNESS: Yes.
    ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
    WITNESS: I forget.
    ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?

    ATTORNEY: Now doctor, it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
    WITNESS: . . . Did you actually pass the bar exam?

    ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old one, how old is he?
    WITNESS: He's twenty, much like your IQ.

    ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
    WITNESS: Are you kidding me?

    ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
    WITNESS: Yes.
    ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
    WITNESS: None.
    ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
    WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?

    ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
    WITNESS: By death.
    ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
    WITNESS: Take a wild guess.

    ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
    WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.
    ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
    WITNESS: Unless the circus was in town, I'm going with male.

    ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
    WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.

    ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
    WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 pm.
    ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
    WITNESS: If not, he certainly was by the time I finished.

    Anyhow, books are pretty much my life. One of the main reasons I look forward to summer and other such breaks: SO MUCH TIME TO READ AND GO TO THE LIBRARY!!!!

    Oh, something I discovered for DQ fans:

    For all those Deltorans wondering what the heck Filli is: Take out Secrets of Deltora, turn to page forty-six, and read. Maybe you'll catch the hint, maybe not, but Veneesla (hai! *Waves*) told me that other fans on other sites also confirmed it. I feel like such a genius! (Heh . . . No.)

    My (more positive) opinion on the anime: Meh. It's good by anime standards, but by DQ books' standards . . . they could've done a better job. Plus, they didn't kill Neridah. That CANNOT be forgiven!! Are there any DQ fans out there that even like Neridah anyway?! Although in the anime they did do certain things that I liked (e.g. the gross way Dain died), so I guess that sort of makes up for it! (And Dain himself. Ahh, that one comment on YouTube comparing him to Voldemort absolutely made my day!)

    Plus, I WANT TO READ THE MANGA. But I can't find it. *Glares at library and nearby bookstores* Well, I saw it on Amazon and I was like, "I WANT IT!!! Wait . . . WTF WHY IS IT SO EXPENSIVE?!?!" And then I saw: Imported from Australia. -_- As for the stand-alone books, I own a copy of Secrets of Deltora and I've read Tales of Deltora and The Deltora Book of Monsters, but that's it. I REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REEEEAALLY WANT TO READ The Ultimate Deltora Quiz Book, just to see my results. Once again, a lot of impatience and annoyance directed to the publishers and whatnot who (probably) won't ever release it to the USA. Why must you all torture me . . . ?!

    Oh yeah, something I noticed about the fanfiction archive for Deltora Quest: It seems to have fallen prey to stories that just have Lief and Jasmine go off on some adventure with a ton of fluff mixed in. As to that . . . I believe that if you're going to write fluff, could you just please develop a good explanation for why they're going off on the adventure or whatever? :I Well, this actually occurs a lot to certain fandoms . . . And a bunch of those stories don't even have good summaries! Grammar and capitalization, people! And putting "Sorry I suck at summaries" is not an excuse!

    And that ends my little DQ ramble—I really needed to get it out of my system. (Be glad my YW ramble ended a while ago . . . Oh, wait . . .)

    Oh, and something else a few other writers have asked me: Do I have an original story? YES, YES I DO! (And so far, the drafts are absolutely KILLING me. I feel like I'm trying to draw water from a dry well, as the expression goes . . . and I really am starting to doubt the potentiality of the idea(s). Yerp, I really should've blocked out the plot first . . . {facepalm})

    It's just that I haven't let anyone except certain people read it. But it revolves around a prophecy (of sorts), and so . . . here's the prophecy (tell me what you think)!!:

    Take the Art of two Legends and create
    Two powerful Spirits born to hate
    The Darkness is rising—one will end,
    And one will become legend again.

    Darkness rising, Darkness rising
    Darkness will destroy both world’s Sides.
    Darkness rising, Darkness rising
    Yet Darkness will join both world’s Sides.

    Bring back the Spirit gone away
    Give her water of deadly array.
    Take the Spirit of Magic’s breath
    And bring them together to their death.

    Darkness rising, Darkness rising
    Darkness will destroy both world’s Sides.
    Darkness rising, Darkness rising
    Yet Darkness will join both world’s Sides.

    Darkness has one fear and one fear only:
    Light Magic of the long-lost tear.
    Spirit will find and Spirit will know
    How to make the tear’s Light grow.

    Darkness rising, Darkness rising
    Darkness will destroy both world’s Sides.
    Darkness rising, Darkness rising
    Yet Darkness will heal both world’s Sides.

    Nothing now is what it seems;
    Truths are lies and real are dreams.
    When Light hope seems gone after all
    Only then will the Darkness fall.

    Dun dun duuuunnnn!

    Well that sort of sums up my little original piece (called Sidewinder, unless I change my mind for the umpteenth time)—which I'm still working on. If the prophecy is confusing, well, it's meant to be! If this thing ever gets published, well . . . I plan on having a part in the "acknowledgments" section (wherever, whenever, and whatever that may specifically be) dedicated to thanking FF and the amazing people here. (Yeah, I plan ahead . . . And I like to daydream!)

    As for the current status on this story, though, I am doing what I call "writing blindly." I.e. I have no solid plot as of yet, lots of very cool but all-over-the-place ideas, and am simply writing what I feel is right. I'm somewhere in the rising action, though, and I know what my main and minor conflicts, theme(s), main idea, moods, and tones are going to be, so that's done.

    Edit: Hey, there's a name for this (to borrow a phrase from a reveled Author) "word vomit"! Draft zero. Oh, my gosh. That is the perfect phrase, right there . . . The Universe has spoken. "Look, your first draft doesn't have to be perfect. Just keep throwing yourself against what you want to write, get it done, and you can get around to polishing it later . . ."

    But the plotline . . . Majorly underdeveloped. I have no idea what's going to happen to my main protagonists (although I do have plans for my antagonists—isn't that just sad?) and I'm just making it up as I go along. (Yeah, 'cos that's worked well before.) I can say, however, that this story will deal with the human Spirit and the brightness and darkness of it, identity, belonging, reality vs. fiction/dreams, and belief/faith. It will also deal with time (using what I call the chicken-and-egg problem/theory as a metaphor of sorts), memories, the universe in general (yay, more complexity . . .), and so on. . . . Now is it understandable that I'm writing blindly? The whole time I let this story sit, brewing more and more ideas, I was thinking, I'm only thirteen! WHY AM I GETTING SUCH BRAIN-NUMBING IDEAS?!

    Might have to do with my philosophical attitude when it comes to writing, though. (. . . Mew.)

    Aaaaaaaaand you have now reached the end of my profile, either through 1) scrolling down just to see my stories; 2) scrolling down while reading everything / most of / part of / some of what I've written in my bio, or; 3) . . . you just scrolled down, enough said. One, okay . . . Two, great! Three: . . . Mrow. No comment available.

    Well, whatever way you used, congratulations for reaching the end and I will see you again! Hopefully!

    Dai stiho / Hunt's luck / baaaiiii / etc., etc.,

    —Crystal (Veritas) Silvera

    (See all the references I did there? See them see them see them—)

    Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

    Warriors Comedy by Spottedfire7 reviews
    Thunderclan..a place of wonders, laughs, and comedy! Watch these spunky cats strut their stuff in this silly parody! (I do not own warriors or characters.)
    Warriors - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 35 - Words: 30,969 - Reviews: 350 - Favs: 59 - Follows: 44 - Updated: 8/16 - Published: 6/20/2012 - Firestar, Ivypool - Complete
    Spread Your Wings by Echoes Come in Whispers reviews
    Annabeth couldn't believe it. She'd just gotten Percy back from the Romans and now some creepy dudes in white coats show up and take him! Percy, on the other hand, was confused. He'd woken up in a strange place, with strange kids, and strange feathery things growing out of his back. Why wasn't he at Camp Half-Blood?
    Crossover - Maximum Ride & Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Adventure - Chapters: 33 - Words: 101,522 - Reviews: 1488 - Favs: 594 - Follows: 761 - Updated: 4/29 - Published: 9/25/2012
    Random Blurbs! by bltbackwards reviews
    Random, funny blurbs. What more can I say? The exclamation mark is even calling out to you!
    Inheritance Cycle - Rated: K+ - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 23 - Words: 17,828 - Reviews: 333 - Favs: 80 - Follows: 64 - Updated: 1/7 - Published: 7/30/2010 - Eragon S., Arya, Saphira, Murtagh - Complete
    Five Times Annie Remembered by Ramonks33 reviews
    Canon: Annie Cresta's mind is constant static. Always moving, never sure. But these are the five memories that stay. The five memories she is sure is absolutely real. The fives times Annie Cresta is sure she remembers. Rated T for content.
    Hunger Games - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,115 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 5 - Published: 12/21/2014 - Finnick O., Annie C.
    Stunning by JustMeKate reviews
    Roshaun isn't dead: he isn't even missing. Miril, 'Mela, and Dari will have their revenge.
    Young Wizards - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 1,944 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 12/7/2014 - Published: 12/12/2012 - Dairine C., Roshaun
    Warriors Book 1: Watch the Sky by Taylor Raye Pember reviews
    Rated T for graphic violence. Right after the battle with the Dark Forest Place of No Stars , Jayfeather recieves a prophecy proclaiming the return of SkyClan. Please enjoy this story.
    Warriors - Rated: T - English - Fantasy/Horror - Chapters: 9 - Words: 5,791 - Reviews: 30 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 14 - Updated: 9/6/2014 - Published: 8/7/2012 - Jayfeather, Briarlight
    Dumbledore's Questionable Plan by silvershadowrebel reviews
    Dumbledore fears the upcoming battles against Voldemort. So, he asks his old friend, Chiron, to send reinforcements. Chiron sends Percy, Annabeth, Thalia, and Nico to pose as wizards and help win the war. As they attend Hogwarts, the Golden Trio becomes suspicious on their identities. Will they blow the demigods' covers before the war is over? T for violence.
    Crossover - Harry Potter & Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 26 - Words: 57,504 - Reviews: 1352 - Favs: 903 - Follows: 1,278 - Updated: 8/10/2014 - Published: 8/8/2012 - Harry P., Nico A.
    Inquiry and Retrieval by arioso dolente reviews
    When odd things happen around her, what does young Hermione Granger do? What does she ever do? Research. Of course, she hadn't counted on magical creature wrangling being part of that. Pre-Hogwarts, slight crossover with Young Wizards.
    Crossover - Harry Potter & Young Wizards - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 5 - Words: 24,778 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 23 - Updated: 7/27/2014 - Published: 4/1/2012 - Hermione G., Carl
    21 Things Our Favorite Deltorans Would Never Say by Freida Right reviews
    Another addition to my colection of these. Also, I've done my best to be truer to the books than the anime, though it wss tempting to do otherwise. ;)
    Deltora Quest - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 309 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 2 - Published: 5/27/2014 - Complete
    Packs of the Sky by Skystar5 reviews
    Warriors wolves. Welcome into the world if Nightmoon. A young black wolf with a huge honor. But when her pack is in danger, how far will she go to save her pack from the shining scarlet? Alliances formed, trust broken, boundaries overstepped... How far will Nightmoon have to go to keep her pack safe?
    Warriors - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Mystery - Chapters: 6 - Words: 6,596 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 5/6/2014 - Published: 10/27/2012
    When It Is Right to Do So by Curlscat reviews
    I was looking for a Carl POV on the moments when he talked to Nita during Deep Wizardry, and I realized that there aren't any fics about this. I feel this was a great oversight, so I wrote my own. I don't have the best grasp on either of their POVs, though, so tell me if you catch anything I should fix.
    Young Wizards - Rated: K+ - English - Hurt/Comfort/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 985 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 1 - Published: 4/7/2014 - Tom S., Carl - Complete
    Side-Quests by reminiscent-afterthought reviews
    Outside the main quest we saw, there were things that defined a person, a place or a time.
    Deltora Quest - Rated: T - English - Poetry - Chapters: 3 - Words: 451 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 4/2/2014 - Published: 10/14/2013
    Watching the Earth Rise by Curlscat reviews
    When they finally discover the feelings everyone else has been telling them were there all along, nothing really changes- they're still just Nita and Kit on the moon. Post AWoM oneshot because it's way past time I wrote something for this series. The way I picture things going, since Diane Duane said this won't be a typical YA love story.
    Young Wizards - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Fantasy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 542 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 3 - Published: 3/15/2014 - [Nita C., Kit R.] - Complete
    Pieces by AspergianStoryteller reviews
    Bits of adventure, pieces of life.
    Rowan of Rin series - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 5 - Words: 8,854 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 3/8/2014 - Published: 2/25/2012 - Rowan
    A Season of Death by junebugz21 reviews
    Stripe is a rogue who lives near the lake territory. She knows of the Clans, and is horrified to have fallen in love with one of them, and soon she will find out how much of a mistake she made.
    Warriors - Rated: T - English - Romance/Tragedy - Chapters: 12 - Words: 16,260 - Reviews: 41 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 12 - Updated: 1/22/2014 - Published: 7/8/2012 - Lionblaze
    Dear Fanfiction by our dancing days reviews
    ... because, for the love of Peeta, the Reaping Ball is an inanimate object, and some people just need to be told thus. / A drabble series to fanfiction.
    Hunger Games - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 95 - Words: 12,561 - Reviews: 3495 - Favs: 417 - Follows: 385 - Updated: 12/21/2013 - Published: 1/11/2012
    After the End by KJtheELMtree reviews
    Any character, remembering any of the ones who fell in the fight against the Lone Power. READ THIS I AM NOT WORTHY.
    Young Wizards - Rated: K+ - English - Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 386 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 1 - Published: 11/4/2013 - Nita C., Kit R., Dairine C. - Complete
    Reading The Forests of Silence by IsItJustMe14 reviews
    Lief, Barda and Jasmine travel back in time to read the books with Sharn, Endon, Jarred and Anna. Set before the invasion of the Shadow Lord, but after Jarred escapes the Palace.
    Deltora Quest - Rated: T - English - Family - Chapters: 3 - Words: 3,705 - Reviews: 26 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 24 - Updated: 9/13/2013 - Published: 5/6/2012 - Lief, Endon
    Metamorphosis: The 123rd Hunger Games by Morgandi reviews
    The Games... they'll change the tributes. The poor kids plan on entering the arena as people with their identities intact, but what will come out is entirely different. They might come out broken physically and scarred mentally. And they'll probably come out dead. There's no changing that.
    Hunger Games - Rated: T - English - Horror/Adventure - Chapters: 9 - Words: 80,674 - Reviews: 125 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 18 - Updated: 8/30/2013 - Published: 6/29/2013
    One Last Word by Ramonks33 reviews
    A spinoff series of my other story, One Last Life. Characters of the Hunger Games write letters to each other, dead to alive, and vice versa. Or dead to dead, or alive to alive. I hope I don't make you cry
    Hunger Games - Rated: K+ - English - Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 3 - Words: 1,525 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 8/30/2013 - Published: 7/27/2013
    The Sorcerer Oacus by SpringRiverImagination reviews
    His heart was empty, his emotions void. He despised the weak and he was a servant to the strong. He sought to fill the emptiness within him with somthing...anything. His endless search across the land of Deltora led him right to what he had been searching for in the form of a brave young boy, though it may not be what he thought he needed.
    Deltora Quest - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 19 - Words: 28,447 - Reviews: 43 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 8/22/2013 - Published: 8/31/2012
    Ashes by ferretWARLORD reviews
    A very deep and serious short story I have been wanting to write. I couldn't think of a good summary to compliment it, so please just read it and tell me what you think! Its a story about a huge war fought between the woodlanders and the vermin. Their might be some mistakes, but I really don't care because I'm proud of this!
    Redwall - Rated: T - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,131 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 1 - Published: 8/1/2013 - Complete
    One Last Life by Ramonks33 reviews
    "A tribute, to your tributes"
    Hunger Games - Rated: K - English - Horror/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 13 - Words: 5,831 - Reviews: 27 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 7/7/2013 - Published: 11/6/2012 - Thresh, Other tributes, Finnick O., Blight - Complete
    More Than Once by Starlit Skyline reviews
    More than once, you'll catch yourself wishing that things could have been different. Takes place after the Battle of Del. I don't own Deltora Quest or the cover image, it belongs to WingedWarrior7 from deviantART.
    Deltora Quest - Rated: K - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 925 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 3 - Published: 7/6/2013 - Doom/Jarred - Complete
    A Handful of Dust by Elleirabird reviews
    A boy who can't let go. A girl with a dark secret. And an underground project called PANEM...the Underland's been discovered, and Gregor's the only one who knows. But now the enemy is much more cunning, and much more powerful. But he has a problem: there's no prophecy. No clues. The fate of the Underland and Manhattan alike hangs in the balance...and if he fails, both will fall.
    Underland Chronicles - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Suspense - Chapters: 4 - Words: 5,065 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 19 - Updated: 6/26/2013 - Published: 1/10/2011 - Gregor, Luxa, Ripred, Howard
    The Words that Changed it All by Drizzle117 reviews
    Many things have happened to Peril. But the conversation leading up to the words that changed her life is possibly the most important yet. A one-shot.
    Wings of Fire, Tui T. Sutherland - Rated: K - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 861 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 8 - Published: 6/21/2013 - Scarlet, Peril - Complete
    Fablehaven reads Fablehaven by 1238904756 reviews
    Stan Sorenson recieves a copy of each of the five Fablehaven books and the characters from the books read them. Spoiler warning, obviously.
    Fablehaven - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 7 - Words: 30,245 - Reviews: 138 - Favs: 83 - Follows: 109 - Updated: 6/19/2013 - Published: 5/12/2012
    The Grimm Tales by RanLei reviews
    If you don't know Allen Carrol well, all you see is a handsome baby-faced man who's very in love with his wife and daughter, but if you know Allen Carrol well, you will know just how much of a genius he is. Do people even know that he's really obsessed with the Grimm Brothers' fairy tales? Well, 19th Hunger Games is in for another huge surprise by the Carrols!
    Hunger Games - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Tragedy - Chapters: 10 - Words: 21,310 - Reviews: 120 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 22 - Updated: 6/7/2013 - Published: 12/27/2012 - Other tributes
    Gone by Ramonks33 reviews
    She was gone. And all he had done was for nothing. She had fallen. He hadn't caught her. An alternate ending to the Mark of Athena. My fourthieth fanfiction!
    Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: K+ - English - Tragedy/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 764 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 1 - Published: 6/1/2013 - Annabeth C., Percy J. - Complete
    Frozen In Time by Hungergameslover04 reviews
    Winner. Conqueror. Vanquisher. Champion. Victor. Victors, the winners of the Games. Conquerors of the arena. Vanquishers of twenty-three kids. Champions of Panem. Abused. Unloved. Lonely. Broken. They are, and always will be. Frozen in time. One-shot. (For Ruetheday's 'Frozen In Time' prompt contest.)
    Hunger Games - Rated: T - English - Drama/Mystery - Chapters: 1 - Words: 669 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 1 - Published: 5/29/2013 - Haymitch A., Finnick O., Johanna M., Annie C. - Complete
    Dragon of the Depths by Lex Fowler reviews
    Creel is back, this time with a daughter named Laurana, Rani for short! When King Caxel lets dragons trade directly with Feravel, some secrets are revealed that were better left secret. Then Rani falls into a cavern, and manages to lift herself up onto a log before she falls to her death. But how will she get out safely? Follow her through the twists of tunnels and flight of dragon
    Dragon Slippers Trilogy - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 11 - Words: 11,988 - Reviews: 37 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 13 - Updated: 5/22/2013 - Published: 7/25/2012 - Creel C., Luka
    Hunger Games Abridged! by Ramonks33 reviews
    Do you find the Hunger Games too long?ABRIDGED! Officially, this has changed to a rated T fic...just saying. And for hell's sake, THIS IS A CRACK FIC. I may as well point it out now before someone takes this seriously.
    Hunger Games - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 24 - Words: 16,080 - Reviews: 193 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 21 - Updated: 5/21/2013 - Published: 6/2/2012 - Katniss E. - Complete
    Two is the Loneliest Number by Hawki reviews
    Oneshot: "I've been waiting for you. Perhaps you thought you were here to capture me. But I know the truth. Part of you knows it as well. That's why you're not going to use the Master Ball. That's why you're going to do battle. One last battle...mine...or yours..."
    Pokémon - Rated: K+ - English - Suspense/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 830 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 25 - Follows: 9 - Published: 4/26/2013 - Mewtwo, Red - Complete
    Angel of the Streets (redo) by BlackVeiledProxy reviews
    My father called me nothing but It, I was in his eyes, worthless. Nothing but broken. Then one day, my whole life changed. I now lived in Bloodclan, with a new name. The only person who ever believed in me, and my inspiration, Scourge, the infamous leader of the notorious Bloodclan. (Redone)
    Warriors - Rated: T - English - Romance/Tragedy - Chapters: 6 - Words: 4,530 - Reviews: 31 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 14 - Updated: 4/23/2013 - Published: 11/20/2012 - Scourge, Firestar
    A Bloody Feather by Twiggy727 reviews
    Two owls were hatched on the same night and share distant blood but their destinies took totally different turns.Living in a world of battle and murder, two young barn owls named Shaze and Shamere. One becomes high ruler of the Pure Ones, the other a high rank in the Great Tree. Their shared blood can lead to the death of the other...
    Guardians of Ga'Hoole - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 9 - Words: 10,910 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 4/14/2013 - Published: 7/13/2012
    We All Love Facebook by Spaidel reviews
    The characters of The Hunger Games trilogy are all drawn to this new sensation called Facebook.
    Hunger Games - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 33 - Words: 39,578 - Reviews: 2364 - Favs: 558 - Follows: 491 - Updated: 3/14/2013 - Published: 2/25/2012
    How to Spend Your Time in Panem by egoats reviews
    I feel the title is self-explanitory. T for death
    Hunger Games - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 2 - Words: 282 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 2/27/2013 - Published: 11/11/2012
    Suddenly by Ramonks33 reviews
    "I won't fail you two..." he whispered, as he saw Annabeth's tiny fist enclose on Thalia's "I promise" A little one shot before they arrived at Camp Half Blood
    Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: K - English - Family/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 839 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 2 - Published: 2/27/2013 - Annabeth C., Luke C. - Complete
    The Lightning Thief Parody by DarkPaladin000 reviews
    A parody of the Lighting Thief. No, it's not supposed to make sense. Enjoy! Continued in the Heroes of Olympus Parody.
    Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 10 - Words: 5,963 - Reviews: 87 - Favs: 63 - Follows: 30 - Updated: 2/26/2013 - Published: 2/21/2013 - Poseidon, Percy J. - Complete
    Percy Jackson Facebook Style by valici reviews
    Ares develops an obsession with one of Apollo's sons, Jason has a top secret teddy bear, Sally experiences confusion with chatspeak and Annabeth and Calypso battle it out on Facebook. WARNING: This story has caused people to choke on their dinner, fall off their chairs and receive weird looks for laughing too loudly.
    Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 6 - Words: 10,666 - Reviews: 1033 - Favs: 494 - Follows: 512 - Updated: 2/18/2013 - Published: 3/12/2012
    Unyielding by DreamingIce reviews
    It hellish here, but his enemies have unwittingly given him information that make the hope burn brighter still. Endon-as-Jarred in his cell. DQ1 short drabble.
    Deltora Quest - Rated: K+ - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 324 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 5 - Published: 2/8/2013 - Endon - Complete
    Beyond Understanding by tielan reviews
    We all remember how the Beginning ended. A story of friendship sundered, despair, and hope.
    Young Wizards - Rated: K - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,585 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Published: 2/3/2013 - Peach, Lone Power - Complete
    Top 20 Muggle Pranks by Dementors hate chocolate reviews
    Fun with whoopee cushions, pins, Sirius' phobia, and more! Lily pranks, James gives up pranking, and Remus finds a wolfie girl. Marauder era. COMPLETE.
    Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 20 - Words: 27,889 - Reviews: 87 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 11 - Updated: 1/28/2013 - Published: 8/22/2012 - James P., Marauders - Complete
    A Splinter in My Mind by Hawki reviews
    Poem: Entering Narnia is both a blessing and a curse. A curse, because in the end, one must always leave it.
    Chronicles of Narnia - Rated: K - English - Poetry/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 126 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 3 - Published: 1/20/2013 - Complete
    The Eeveelution Clans by mau5girl reviews
    Starkit was born Shiny, appointing her heir to MoonClan's leadership, and she's determined to do it right. But she makes an awful mistake that forces her to begin anew, disguising her previous identity and saving herself from exile. In doing so she discovers that her unique position could place a vital new duty into her paws: single-handedly preventing an impending second Clan war.
    Crossover - Pokémon & Warriors - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Drama - Chapters: 6 - Words: 14,412 - Reviews: 37 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 23 - Updated: 1/18/2013 - Published: 5/10/2012 - Eevee/Eievui
    One Will Stand: The 23rd Annual Hunger Games by Hungergameslover04 reviews
    Voldemort ruled all. After defeating the Boy Who Lived, nothing stood in the way of him taking over the entire Wizarding World. He was feared and respected. Death Eaters roamed freely. The world was a living nightmare. It was exactly how he wanted it. But, there was still one question that he faced. How was he going to keep the people he ruled in line? The Hunger Games. SYOW CLOSED
    Crossover - Harry Potter & Hunger Games - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Tragedy - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,610 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 10 - Updated: 1/4/2013 - Published: 12/29/2012
    Christmas in Deltora by The-Nutkase reviews
    Deltora is finally at peace after the defeat of the Shadowlord. In Del, everyone is enjoying the festive Christmas season- all except Jasmine who finds it difficult to understand all the traditions associated with the holiday. In an attempt to cheer her up, Lief tries to show her what the meaning behind Christmas really is.
    Deltora Quest - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Fantasy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,529 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 5 - Published: 12/31/2012 - Lief, Jasmine - Complete
    The adventures of Toast Primrose Rue Mellark by clovexoxocato reviews
    "Hello. My name is Toast Primrose Rue Mellark, and this is my story. I am sixteen years old, and I live in District 12 with my parents, Katniss and Peeta, and my younger brother, Rye Barley Wonderbread Mellark. We are a very happy family, apart from when my mother wakes up screaming and my father tries to kill her with a bread knife. Like I said, we are a very happy family." PARODY
    Hunger Games - Rated: K - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 859 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 3 - Published: 12/29/2012 - Katniss & Peeta's daughter
    Dear Fanfiction: Harry Potter by Hungergameslover04 reviews
    Have you ever read a HP Fanfic. and thought, "Man, what is wrong with the world?" Well the Harry Potter crew has, and boy, do they have a mouthfull! NOW COMPLETE!
    Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 41 - Words: 5,100 - Reviews: 271 - Favs: 80 - Follows: 78 - Updated: 12/28/2012 - Published: 9/8/2012 - Complete
    Merry Christmas, Redwall! by Spider Milkshake reviews
    Every year, in the middle of the winter season, the Redwallers like to get together with their old 'uns and Dibbuns and give each other gifts. And sometimes... That day gets a strange visitor or forty. Merry Christma-er, I mean, "Happy Gift Day"!
    Redwall - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,217 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 1 - Published: 12/25/2012 - Complete
    The Silent Forest by Hawki reviews
    Poem: First rule about entering the Forests of Silence? Don't.
    Deltora Quest - Rated: K - English - Poetry/Fantasy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 80 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 3 - Published: 12/22/2012 - Complete
    One Winter Day by ferretWARLORD reviews
    A family of rats sees a hare approach their small shack, and reacts in fear. Small little one shot for christmas, please read and review.
    Redwall - Rated: K+ - English - Family/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,636 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 3 - Published: 12/11/2012 - Complete
    Fail by 9r7g5h reviews
    Sometimes, even the Belt of Deltora could fail.
    Deltora Quest - Rated: K+ - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,154 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 1 - Published: 12/6/2012 - Lief - Complete
    Warriors:New Frontier Book 1 by MoonKissedDreamerEureka reviews
    In a distant land,four clans different from the ones we know and love have been thriving for far longer, but when shadows from their forgotten past threaten their present can four young cats,one from each clan, stop them before the clans are torn apart.Find out in the first book of WNF series,The Chosen Ones. T to be safe.
    Warriors - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Drama - Chapters: 11 - Words: 46,468 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 11/25/2012 - Published: 7/21/2012
    A Deadly Perspective by Library2.0 reviews
    How did Thresh die? The answer is here. Told from both Cato and Thresh's point of view.
    Hunger Games - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 2 - Words: 440 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 3 - Updated: 11/25/2012 - Published: 11/24/2012 - Thresh, Cato - Complete
    Bloopers of The Hunger games Trilogy by swiggity swame this is my name reviews
    This is bloopers, and my version of how things should've happened Of course these people don't act like they really do so yeah! Rated M for language
    Hunger Games - Rated: M - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 9 - Words: 2,965 - Reviews: 45 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 18 - Updated: 11/20/2012 - Published: 5/28/2012 - Katniss E., Other tributes
    New Gem, New Ally by Archiepoke123 reviews
    There is news that there is an 8th gem. Lief, Barda, and Jasmine set off to find it.
    Deltora Quest/デルトラクエスト - Rated: K+ - English - Friendship/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 946 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 5 - Published: 11/16/2012
    Deltora Misadventures: Everyone wants to be Lief! by nimbi-piru reviews
    Crack fic! One-shot! An interview like story; Prompt:Why do so many characters look like Lief? Rated T for safety. One sided Mirror Lief X Lief, One sided Dain X Lief, Possible Mirror Lief X Dain. All for Fun! Complete Randomness! Part of the DA comics Deltora Misadventures. Nothing serious will be found here, except for my knowledge of the book! Remember Kris? I do!
    Deltora Quest - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,157 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 3 - Published: 11/15/2012 - Lief - Complete
    The Killing Cupcake by chocolate-chip-cookie-monster reviews
    The curse of the killing cupcake! The rules change, and Katniss doesn't pull out the nightlock. So Peeta follows Haymitch's "Wise" Advice to kill the girl who he loves-and she loves him back-with a Crappy Cupcake. Set during the 74th Hunger games. A little OOC. A Oneshot for Tyson's Best Friend.
    Hunger Games - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 966 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Published: 11/9/2012 - Peeta M., Katniss E. - Complete
    If the Capitol Were In The Hunger Games by makesuretheyrememberyou reviews
    No need for a description, the title says it all... *****REVIEW THIS AND I'LL LOVE YOU FOREVER*****
    Hunger Games - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 3 - Words: 976 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 11/4/2012 - Published: 10/17/2012
    Deltora's Protector by Ravenclaw-Girl28 reviews
    Broken and near death 15-year-old Harry James Potter stumbles upon the land of Deltora during the time of the Shadow Lord's rule. Taken in by a familiar peddler, Harry creates a new identity and becomes what Deltora needs the most...a Protector.
    Crossover - Harry Potter & Deltora Quest - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Friendship - Chapters: 17 - Words: 101,379 - Reviews: 193 - Favs: 324 - Follows: 388 - Updated: 11/2/2012 - Published: 8/29/2010 - Harry P.
    The Pit and Where It Leads by Spider Milkshake reviews
    Follow Dria, a feisty mousemaid, into the pit to find where it leads.
    Redwall - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Suspense - Chapters: 2 - Words: 7,215 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 10/11/2012 - Published: 10/6/2012
    Cooking with Cluny! by ferretWARLORD reviews
    Just a cooking show staring Cluny the Scourge and several other characters! Please read and reveiw! Is now rated: T
    Redwall - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 12 - Words: 11,414 - Reviews: 91 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 10/11/2012 - Published: 2/11/2012 - Cluny the Scourge, Swartt Sixclaw - Complete
    The Lost Files of Inigan Slytherin by Hungergameslover04 reviews
    There has always been mystery surrounding Voldemort's snake, Nagini. When and where did he acquire his loyal pet? What if Nagini was not only a false name, but she was from a completely different place? Read about Voldemort and his meeting with an unexpected friend, and the circumstances surronding the mysterious Nagini. One-Shot.
    Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Fantasy/Mystery - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,025 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 3 - Published: 10/5/2012 - Voldemort, Nagini - Complete
    Falling Through Books by Ellethwen Celtica reviews
    The other side of the page. The adventure. She had always wanted to be part of it, and like in an old tale, she gets her wish. Now she is falling through the pages, landing in the story, exploring the life she wanted. But be careful what you wish for. DISCONTINUED FOR NOW
    Animorphs - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure - Chapters: 15 - Words: 16,230 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 9/20/2012 - Published: 4/3/2011
    Unexplainable Insanity by Kai the Mad reviews
    Otherwise known as "what happens when you have way too much free time on your hands." But that title was way too long.
    Redwall - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 378 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 2 - Published: 9/18/2012 - Martin the Warrior - Complete
    The WarriorRedwall Show! by Squirrel in a Top Hat reviews
    A show... with Warriors and Redwall... WHAT could go wrong?
    Crossover - Redwall & Warriors - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 369 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 6 - Published: 9/18/2012
    Life of a Conquering Alpha by Miz636 reviews
    After seven years of Hogwarts and winning the war against Voldemort, Harry now has a chance to live a somewhat normal life. Watch as he and his friends get jobs, have children, live their lives, and change the Wizarding world. Sequel to Alpha Trilogy. AU.
    Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Family/Friendship - Chapters: 7 - Words: 31,922 - Reviews: 141 - Favs: 273 - Follows: 161 - Updated: 9/17/2012 - Published: 9/5/2012 - [Harry P., Ginny W.] - Complete
    Epilogue: The Dragon of Mossflower by Dark Nation42 reviews
    The epilogue for a long piece of Redwall fiction that I will probably never write. Long ago I was struck with inspiration for the ending, though, so I wanted to write it down before I lost it forever. I wrote this when I was 19, so 6 years ago: clearly not up to my current standards, but worth putting here I suppose.
    Redwall - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,540 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 1 - Published: 9/12/2012 - Complete
    Dudley, you're a wizard! by Dementors hate chocolate reviews
    Dudley gets a letter from Hogwarts. Will his parents let him go? And what will Harry think?
    Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Family/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 12 - Words: 24,495 - Reviews: 59 - Favs: 49 - Follows: 55 - Updated: 9/3/2012 - Published: 6/10/2012 - Harry P., Dudley D. - Complete
    The Real Story by silver snowdrop 363 reviews
    Just a crackfic I wrote when I was bored. It's kind of weird and really OOC...
    Silverwing - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,528 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 3 - Published: 8/27/2012 - Complete
    If Cinderpelt Survived, How? by Cindysong reviews
    If Cinderpelt survived, how would it be? And now, also, what happened later and how her survival changed the history of Sunset's last pages... please read and review!
    Warriors - Rated: K+ - English - Drama - Chapters: 2 - Words: 622 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 8/20/2012 - Published: 7/1/2012 - Cinderpelt, Leafpool - Complete
    It Wasn't Accidental by connorxrisa897 reviews
    What if we were able to see Foxface's side of her own death, and she knew those berries were poisonous? What would be her dying thought? One-shot.
    Hunger Games - Rated: T - English - Angst/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,069 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 1 - Published: 8/18/2012 - Foxface - Complete
    A Typical Day at the Abbey by Duckflesh reviews
    A story that should sound very familiar.
    Redwall - Rated: K+ - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 697 - Reviews: 32 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 8/1/2012 - Published: 7/24/2003 - Complete
    Friday Night by Dementors hate chocolate reviews
    Party at the Malfoy Mansion! Guests recall what happen the night before. Read and Review. ONESHOT.
    Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,079 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 4 - Published: 7/30/2012 - Complete
    Grim Tuesday's Navigator by DarkPaladin000 reviews
    Grim Tuesday finally finished building the train for his Pit, and he also installed a navigator. Too bad it doesn't work out like it's supposed to. Crack. Oneshot.
    Keys to the Kingdom - Rated: K - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 943 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 1 - Published: 7/26/2012 - Tuesday - Complete
    The Others by leontopithecusrosalia reviews
    When a group of preteens are having a water gun fight, they accidently stumble into the Owl Kingdoms, and are introduced to a world filled with talking animals, but trampled by war. Taken into the care of Soren, they try to find a way back to their home. But with the Great Tree in heavy conflict with the Pure Ones, how will their existence gone unnoticed? Set in The Siege.
    Guardians of Ga'Hoole - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Friendship - Chapters: 5 - Words: 6,225 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 17 - Updated: 7/23/2012 - Published: 12/28/2011 - Soren, Kludd/Metal Beak
    Useless by 9r7g5h reviews
    In the end, it was useless.
    Deltora Quest - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,117 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 1 - Published: 7/16/2012 - Lief, Jasmine - Complete
    The Thinking of the Perfect Unwind by Breaking the Fourth Wall reviews
    Cameron O'Malley was perfect. That is what she believed the secret to not being unwound. But secrets are not always so reliable. Because in society even perfection can you unwound.
    Unwind - Rated: T - English - Drama/Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,648 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 3 - Published: 7/14/2012 - Complete
    Leif is a Bully! by thevoidbetweenus reviews
    The title says it all. Leif is a bully! Haven't you noticed? This is just pointing it out to a greater extent. Problem? Don't read. THIS IS JUST A JOKE, OKAY? GET OVER IT.
    Deltora Quest - Rated: T - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,778 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 7/12/2012 - Published: 10/24/2011 - Dain, Lief
    A Truth Realized by Soren2526 reviews
    Set during the events of Spirit Wolf and the death of Soren, Streak discovers the truth about himself and his family.
    Guardians of Ga'Hoole - Rated: K+ - English - Hurt/Comfort/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,204 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 2 - Published: 7/5/2012 - Soren - Complete
    Protests by 9r7g5h reviews
    Not everyone was happy with their king's choice of bride.
    Deltora Quest - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,068 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 5 - Published: 7/5/2012 - Lief, Jasmine - Complete
    Warriors Awards 2012 by XXlaptidemcrazeXX reviews
    A funny parody of warriors, it may contain strong language,but otherwise, fine.
    Warriors - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 3 - Words: 1,310 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 6/21/2012 - Published: 6/19/2012
    21 Things the Rowan of Rin Cast Would Never Say by Freida Right reviews
    I love doing these. 8D
    Rowan of Rin series - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 296 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 1 - Published: 6/4/2012 - Complete
    Wood and Stone by Freida Right reviews
    Bronden had never expected to feel so bored, so tired, so... lonely. But she had also never expected a source of healing to appear so suddenly, and in such an unlikely form...
    Rowan of Rin series - Rated: K - English - Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 11,565 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 1 - Published: 5/2/2012 - Broden, Noriss
    Insert Unexpected Frienemy Here by Hakurei Ryuu reviews
    The Anti-Cliche and Mary-Sue Elimination Society sends out a team of agents to deal with a Sue in the Deltora Quest fandom. But what happens when the party is gatecrashed by someone even more dangerous? ACMSES is an ongoing series, see our C2 for more.
    Deltora Quest - Rated: T - English - Parody/Adventure - Chapters: 2 - Words: 11,699 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 2/5/2012 - Published: 11/14/2011
    I Didn't Need To Hear That by dnapolymerase314 reviews
    An accident with Aphrodite goes wrong and Percy and Annabeth can hear each other's thoughts. Well this makes secretly being in love with your best friend awkward...T
    Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 14 - Words: 19,578 - Reviews: 2938 - Favs: 1,856 - Follows: 1,993 - Updated: 1/22/2012 - Published: 7/10/2011 - Percy J., Annabeth C.
    On The First Day Back by AspergianStoryteller reviews
    On the first day back, Rowan walked in on someone bathing and ran into a tree.
    Rowan of Rin series - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,288 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 2 - Published: 11/8/2011 - Rowan - Complete
    Deltora Quest ToD by Hetalian Miss reviews
    I kidnap the Deltora Quest characters and force them to do dares! Whose, you ask? YOURS! Read and click that little blue link to tor-er, DARE the cast! Note: This is based on a show. I just found this catagory under books.
    Deltora Quest - Rated: T - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 852 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 5 - Published: 11/4/2011
    Something Else by robotamputee reviews
    The day after A Wizard of Mars ended. Obviously, spoilery for A Wizard of Mars. Nita/Kit. Fluff...? I dunno, I think it is. It's short and sweet, anyway. Enjoy!
    Young Wizards - Rated: K - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,953 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 4 - Published: 8/10/2011 - Nita C., Kit R. - Complete
    Not Again by AspergianStoryteller reviews
    An old aqquaintance needs help and remembers Rowan. T to be safe.
    Rowan of Rin series - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,691 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 2 - Published: 7/28/2011 - Rowan - Complete
    Bitter by AvalancheSymphony reviews
    Shackled to her past, Eona settles into the uncomfortable juncture between what is and what could have been. SPOILERS FOR EONA, DO NOT READ IF YOU HAVEN'T COMPLETED THE SECOND BOOK.
    Eon: Dragoneye Reborn - Rated: T - English - Angst/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 875 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 2 - Published: 5/17/2011 - Eon/Eona - Complete
    You know you're addicted to KTK when by DarkPaladin000 reviews
    Do you think you're addicted to the Keys to the Kingdom? Check this to find out.
    Keys to the Kingdom - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 999 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 5 - Published: 5/17/2011 - Arthur, The Piper - Complete
    Septimus vs Harry by I love Magyk reviews
    Jenna is planning an event that involves two great wizards. Her adopted brother Septimus Heap. And Harry Potter. The two will compete to find out who the better wizard is.
    Crossover - Harry Potter & Septimus Heap - Rated: K - English - Friendship/Fantasy - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,302 - Reviews: 42 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 25 - Updated: 4/27/2011 - Published: 11/14/2009
    Keys to The Kingdom: The Abridged Series! by DarkPaladin000 reviews
    A complete rewrite of the story! I've finished editing and re-uploading the chapters. Filled to the brim with plot holes, references to almost everything in the universe, and nothing logical!
    Keys to the Kingdom - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 7 - Words: 7,656 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 12/4/2010 - Published: 9/24/2010 - Arthur, The Architect - Complete
    Annad's Curiosity by Titanlunatic reviews
    This is a fanfic of 'Rowan of Rin' Basically Annad asks a whole bunch of questions to embarrass Rowan and Sharaan...
    Deltora Quest - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 617 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 3 - Published: 7/21/2010 - Complete
    What If OneShots by Emitter reviews
    Ever wonder how might a story have turned out if something was different? These self-contained stories explore possible fates for the land of Deltora. Read and enjoy!
    Deltora Quest - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,259 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 1 - Published: 6/16/2010
    What Was Left Unwritten by TensaiZuki25 reviews
    Just a few scenes I felt DD left out of AWoM. Some light NxK fluff. NOTE: spoiler warning to all those who have not read this book!
    Young Wizards - Rated: K+ - English - Fantasy/Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,122 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 12 - Published: 4/19/2010 - Kit R., Nita C. - Complete
    Eccentric Ideas by snails-on-the-french-riviera reviews
    Not to be taken seriously. Lucius and Harry end up in Mossflower via some weird trick of magic. now, they must work together to get home, but that may be easier said than done.
    Crossover - Harry Potter & Redwall - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 893 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 10 - Published: 2/26/2010
    Randomness in the Forests of Silence by Dana-Lith reviews
    Just a random load of rubbish I wrote whilst in the midst of a severe it's funny so R'n'R and ill write more...oh yeh, rated T cos i intend to swear in later chapters XD ON PERMANENT HIATUS
    Deltora Quest - Rated: K - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 4 - Words: 2,205 - Reviews: 25 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 1/23/2010 - Published: 6/13/2007 - Complete
    Redo by Fuiku reviews
    Well, the first time is always a little awkward... Kit/Nita completely non-serious, get-back-in-the-game oneshot.
    Young Wizards - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,877 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 27 - Follows: 2 - Published: 8/11/2009 - Complete
    Deltora Knights: 1 Knights of Rin by Captain Arianna Trouble reviews
    The Shadowlord is planning another takeover of Deltora, and Lief needs all the help he can get. Crossover w RoR. Feel free to R&R. Temp hiatus, see profile
    Crossover - Deltora Quest & Rowan of Rin series - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 2,616 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 11 - Updated: 6/27/2007 - Published: 9/30/2005 - Lief, Rowan
    A World Away by exocontinual protocols reviews
    [You’re alone here, you’re alone, she told herself. The thought wasn’t as comforting as it was meant to be.] NitaKit
    Young Wizards - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 12 - Words: 8,489 - Reviews: 59 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 15 - Updated: 6/9/2007 - Published: 10/23/2006
    Empty by exocontinual protocols reviews
    Wizardry does not live in the unwilling soul. What's the real reason Helena was so upset about Kit's wizardry?
    Young Wizards - Rated: K+ - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 938 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 6 - Published: 9/11/2006 - Complete
    Sunkissed by exocontinual protocols reviews
    [I don’t think I’m being cold. My tone of voice isn’t particularly cold. It’s not exactly warm and welcoming either, but what did he expect?] DairineRoshaun
    Young Wizards - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 3 - Words: 3,504 - Reviews: 40 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 9/7/2006 - Published: 8/25/2006 - Complete
    The Shadow Lord's Fall by shiri-san reviews
    The Shadow Lord is once again planning an attack on the city of Del. Will he succeed this time or will he finally concede to the Resistance's power? This is really funny if i didn't edit it too much
    Deltora Quest - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,762 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 1 - Published: 4/30/2006 - Complete
    How Ducks Once Changed the Universe by Elycat reviews
    Oneshot. It just goes to show how one simple breach of the Original Law can lead to mass chaos, utter confusion, and complete insanity...
    Keys to the Kingdom - Rated: K - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,323 - Reviews: 29 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 7 - Published: 3/2/2006 - Complete
    Deltora's King by dragon shadows reviews
    The time spent in Withick Mire from Dain’s POV. This follows the book as closely as it can.
    Deltora Quest - Rated: K - English - Drama - Chapters: 3 - Words: 1,596 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 1/8/2006 - Published: 1/3/2006 - Complete
    Deltora Quest 4 Swords of Deltora by Guardian of Atlantis reviews
    This time raids have been coming from the North since the Shadow Lord is using magic more powerful to that of the belt.The heroes must find 7 swords of the Deltoran knights & the mysterious dragon gems.Chp 3 now up Paused
    Deltora Quest - Rated: K - English - Adventure - Chapters: 3 - Words: 7,043 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 11/30/2005 - Published: 11/16/2005
    Deltora Heir by Captain Arianna Trouble reviews
    Lief and Jasmine are expecting their first child when some unseen complications come up...FINISHED
    Deltora Quest - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure - Chapters: 5 - Words: 3,662 - Reviews: 36 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 7/6/2005 - Published: 6/12/2005 - Complete
    Finding by ultimaton reviews
    Kit wishes he could find out what Nita was thinking, and Ponch is just the Finder for the job. One-shot, errant thought at 2 am. Comments welcome.
    Young Wizards - Rated: K - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,824 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 3 - Published: 7/19/2004 - Complete
    Generic Visitation by Duckflesh reviews
    My second parody, this one having much stronger language and a few original commedy effects worked in.
    Redwall - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 823 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Published: 8/11/2003 - Complete
    What Became of Tira by Draquia reviews
    This is the story of Tira and what happened to her after the events of DQ3, finally free of both the Ra-Kacharz and the Shadowlord, the girl who was betrayed by the very leaders her everday life revolved around learns about Deltora and herself.
    Deltora Quest - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 3 - Words: 4,566 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 7/7/2003 - Published: 4/17/2003
    The Last Stand by IceAngel7 reviews
    'The Deltora Quest rushes to its thundering climax' yet only Lief's story is told. This is Jasmine and Barda's story and what happened to them as Lief was traversing the underground passage to the palace.
    Deltora Quest - Rated: K - English - Adventure - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,861 - Reviews: 29 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 9/17/2002 - Published: 9/8/2002 - Jasmine, Barda - Complete
    Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

    Astriferous reviews
    There are only a few months left until the beginning of the Invitational, and Irina wants to be sure that everything is the best it can be. One-shot, post-AWOM and pre-GWP. (Originally posted on AO3 for the Young Wizards Christmas in July fic exchange.)
    Young Wizards - Rated: K - English - Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 8,175 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Published: 7/14 - Nita C., Kit R., Carmela R., Dairine C. - Complete
    When Truth and Lies Are One reviews
    When Jasmine is taken away by yet another plan of the Shadow Lord, everyone knows that it is a trap—a trap made especially for the king. The difference is, this time the Shadow Lord has increased his power tenfold, allied with a Power. How far will Lief go to get Jasmine back, when everything they have worked for is at stake? Set before epilogue-y ending.
    Deltora Quest - Rated: T - English - Fantasy - Chapters: 6 - Words: 18,768 - Reviews: 29 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 17 - Updated: 6/13 - Published: 6/21/2013 - Lief, Jasmine
    A Very Twisted Rithmere Games reviews
    The quest for Deltora failed. The Belt's power is broken and turned against itself. The Shadow Lord, triumphing once again, stumbles across Panem. There, it's just before the forty-ninth Hunger Games, and the Gamemakers decide it's time for a little twist . . . SYOT, both Deltorans and Panemians!
    Crossover - Deltora Quest & Hunger Games - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 6 - Words: 14,450 - Reviews: 31 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 2/21 - Published: 3/14/2013 - Lief, Jasmine, Other tributes
    Jungreich: The Ravens of Marchenwald
    A one-shot for Adam Gidwitz's "A Tale Dark & Grimm" trilogy: A forest lies by the kingdom of children, but it is no ordinary forest... In the center of all stories, what could go right?
    Misc. Books - Rated: K - English - Poetry/Fantasy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,185 - Published: 1/24
    Unforgivable reviews
    What she did was unthinkable. Horrifying. Terrible. But ultimately, it was unforgivable. So when she knocks upon your door, begging forgiveness, how else are you supposed to respond? One-shot, spoilers for Cahills vs. Vespers (and beyond even that, if you squint).
    39 Clues - Rated: K - English - Hurt/Comfort/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,137 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 1 - Published: 12/31/2014 - Amy C., Evan T. - Complete
    Daymare reviews
    Dreams can never be fully drowned out, and nightmares even more so. But what, really, does that matter to the most beautiful creature ever to walk the earth? At what point does the nightmare step over dawn and into day? And as your heart cries on, and on, and on . . . The sea calls, the forest pulls, and the stars sing of your past—and future. One-shot!
    Last Unicorn - Rated: K+ - English - Fantasy/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,728 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Published: 7/27/2014 - Complete
    Deltora Quest Reads Deltora Quest: The Forests of Silence reviews
    One of the traders in Del have something more valuable than all the others—the Deltora Quest series! The characters decide to read them . . . Now what will happen? (Answer: Utter chaos, a lot of embarrassment, and a ton of hilarity for the readers! ;D) Major spoiler warning, obviously! T mainly to be safe.
    Deltora Quest - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 3 - Words: 9,330 - Reviews: 37 - Favs: 24 - Follows: 28 - Updated: 7/23/2014 - Published: 7/6/2013
    Gravity reviews
    . . . Because, sometimes, you have to let yourself trip to keep walking. Sometimes, you have to let go to hold on. And, of course, all are subject to the prowess of gravity. One-shot.
    Young Wizards - Rated: T - English - Tragedy/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,136 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 3 - Published: 4/13/2014 - Nita C. - Complete
    Unwritten reviews
    The first letter. Miracolina's return. The tale of an ex-worker from the Juvenile Authority. Ponderings of an unwinding surgeon. And, of course, an AWOL's own testimony against unwinding itself. The story told all over, from perspectives Neal Shusterman has left unwritten. Unwinding was no dream, and if the world is trying to say it is, you must wake it. One-shot.
    Unwind - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,424 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Published: 4/11/2014 - Sonia - Complete
    Counting the Same Stars reviews
    No matter where you are, however far you may be from home and those you care about, you can look to the sky and count the stars . . . and know they're doing the same. One-shot that's actually the normal length of a one-shot!
    Young Wizards - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 719 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Published: 1/5/2014 - Ponch, One - Complete
    Crossings reviews
    If you've always felt invisible, how do you deal with going up against the Lone Power and the vastness of the rest of the universes? How do you know your wizardry, your strikes at entropy, will make any difference at all—after you've done everything you can to be noticed, and it all failed? But maybe one wizard is all it takes to make worlds of difference . . . [Long] one-shot.
    Young Wizards - Rated: K+ - English - Hurt/Comfort/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,058 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Published: 1/1/2014 - Lone Power, Dairine C. - Complete
    Belonging Only to the Wild reviews
    I am part WindClan, part RiverClan, son of Shrikestar and Streamheart. But with Icestar and Dreamstar as leaders, two-Clan cats aren't welcome except in death or exile. I think it will kill me, but they will pay with their lives for what they've done to the Clans and my own life. My name is Stormshadow, and I know I belong to no Clan: only to the wild. Short story, now complete!
    Warriors - Rated: T - English - Family - Chapters: 4 - Words: 11,226 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 11/8/2013 - Published: 6/9/2013 - Complete
    Faith in the Stars Trilogy book 1: The First Four reviews
    Prequel to Destiny of Four! Spiritlight, Spiranos, Spirit-teller, and Spirit—they were the true founders of the Clans, the ones who had brought the five leaders together. But just how had they done it? How had three cats and a wolf come together to create the Clans? Now it's time to tell the story before a gathering of stars and fallen spirits. Disregards Dawn of the Clans. HIATUS!
    Warriors - Rated: T - English - Drama/Adventure - Chapters: 8 - Words: 16,739 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 7/11/2013 - Published: 1/26/2013 - Windstar, Shadowstar
    You Know You're Obsessed with DQ When reviews
    I find the title quite self-explanatory . . . ways you'll know when you're obsessed Deltora Quest! I would love reviews, just because. XD Ideas, reviews, favorites and follows all appreciated! Very much a crackfic (well, if that's the word for a humor/parody fic). Complete!
    Deltora Quest - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 7 - Words: 8,572 - Reviews: 61 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 6/24/2013 - Published: 11/11/2012 - Complete
    Messengers reviews
    "For all my faith, for all my time, for all my life I had served and been his ever-present messenger . . . And yet I had failed, in the end." One-shot. Focuses on three messengers—one of letters (our favorite Snowy Owl), one of the past, and one of the Order of the Phoenix. Sincere disclaimer (definitely not JKR!) and T to be safe.
    Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Spiritual/Suspense - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,320 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 2 - Published: 6/5/2013 - Hedwig, Fawkes - Complete
    Invaders of the Sky reviews
    The grach were always presented as slaves of the Zebak, with no will of their own and always doing whatever their masters told them. But one of the things that RoR has taught us is that there are always oddities. So why can't the grach have an oddity of their own? Accompaniment to Rulers of the Sky (DQ). One-shot. Warning: Some stereotyping of the Zebak if you squint.
    Rowan of Rin series - Rated: T - English - Drama/Fantasy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,578 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 1/19/2013 - Zebak - Complete
    The Land of Dragons reviews
    "Before the seven gems were found, none of the dragons had any feud against one another. They lived in harmony, and only the occasional fight broke out—and even then, the Head Dragon was able to settle it, even if the Head Dragon was believed to be an invader—then again, the dragons were quite carefree." This is how the dragons became so fiercely independent.
    Deltora Quest - Rated: K+ - English - Fantasy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,041 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 2 - Published: 12/26/2012 - Complete
    Rulers of the Sky reviews
    "We alone would rule the sky. We alone would become supreme. We alone would be feared for our power . . . or so our Master told us." The Ak-Baba were the destroyers of Deltoran skies, but where did their loyalties really lie? This is the tale of Trylon, youngest Ak-Baba of the seven. And he will be the one to finally redeem them all . . .
    Deltora Quest - Rated: T - English - Fantasy/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,799 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 1 - Published: 11/30/2012 - Ak-Baba - Complete
    Faith in the Stars Trilogy book 2: Destiny of Four reviews
    "Four from each will rise in a time of utter darkness, four who can control fate and the elements of our lives and destinies." Silverdrift's prophecy is only heard by one, her apprentice Feathershine. And when a pack headed by a misled wolf seizes control of the Clans, Feathershine is forced into a race against the wolves and time to find the Four and untangle their destinies.
    Warriors - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Drama - Chapters: 38 - Words: 53,888 - Reviews: 54 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 11/7/2012 - Published: 7/17/2012 - Complete
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