I'm secrectly annoyed with you
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Poll: IN my fic Tiger,Tiger, do you want Remus to be BAMF, nerdy, 100% with Dumbledore or neutral? Vote Now!
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Joined 06-24-12, id: 4081122, Profile Updated: 03-06-14
Author has written 2 stories for Twilight, and Harry Potter.

My favourite sayings in the world.

The best defence against the atom bomb is not to be there when it goes off.

A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.

If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure.

I love how in scary movies the person says, “Hello?” as if the murderer’s gonna be like, “Yeah, I’m in the kitchen. Want a sandwich?”

Life without laughter is merely a joke.

Being a good writer is 3% talent and 97% not being distracted by the internet.

Time is that quality of nature which keeps events from happening all at once. Lately it doesn't seem to be working.

Write a wise saying and your name will live forever.

Constipated people don't give a crap.

Dogs have owners. Cats have staff.

Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before.

Life isn't passing me by, it's trying to run me over.

Apparently 1 in 5 people are Chinese there are five people in my family so it must be one of them. It's ether my mum or dad or my older brother Colin or my younger brother Ho-Chan-Chu, but I think it's Colin.

Life was so simple when boys had cooties.

I'm so gay I can't even think straight.

Efficiency is intelligent laziness.

Be optimistic. All the people you hate are going to eventually die.

My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch.

I’d slap you, but that would be animal abuse.

I hate it when its dark and I think to myself, “You know what I haven’t thought about in a while? Demons.”

Iron has nothing to do with irony, which, given the name, is rather ironic.

Nobody knows the age of the human race, but everybody agrees that it is old enough to know better.

Bite off more than you can chew, then chew it. Plan more than you can do, then do it.

Never apologize for being nerdy, because unnerdy people never apologize for being assholes.

Art is a deliberate recreation of a new and special reality that grows from your response to life. It cannot be copied; it must be created.

Don't refuse to go on an occasional wild goose chase -- that's what wild geese are for.

It usually takes a long time to find a shorter way.

Someday is not a day of the week.

I keep some people's phone numbers in my contacts just so I know not to answer when they call.

If it weren't for caffeine I'd have no personality whatsoever!

Change is good, but notes are better.

You can’t say happiness without saying “ha, penis”

There comes a time in every girls life when they stop and think "I read some fucking weird fanfiction."

There are no traffic jams when you go the extra mile.

Temper gets you into trouble. Pride keeps you there.

If a tree falls in the woods, and there's no one there to hear it, how will the Environmentalists react?

The positive thinker sees the invisible, feels the intangible, and achieves the impossible.

Dare to be wise. (Sapere Aude)

A little nonsense now and then is relished by the wisest men.

The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits

If everything is coming your way then you're in the wrong lane.

Tis the advisor who suffers from bad advice.

Irony is the opposite of wrinkly.

The future belongs to those who dare.

A clean house is a sign of a broken computer.

There's always a light at the end of the tunnel. Of course, it's usually an oncoming express train.

I intend to live forever -- so far, so good.

Has anyone else noticed that the symbol “&” looks like a man dragging his butt across the floor?

Don’t think of yourself as an ugly person. Think of yourself as a beautiful monkey.

The best way to succeed in life is to act on the advice we give to others.

A dreamer lives for eternity.

Boys are like lava lamps, fun to watch but not too bright.

Silence is golden, duct tape is silver.

A wise man once said, "Ask a girl."

Do not follow where the path may lead. Go, instead, where there is no path and leave a trail.

When money talks, nobody notices what grammar it uses.

A friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.

A good exercise for the heart is to bend down and help another up.

If you chase two rabbits, both will escape.

If you can't see the bright side of life, polish the dull side

Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

Good friends are hard to find, harder to leave, and impossible to forget.

If you enjoy the fruit, pluck not the flower.

Capitalization is the difference between helping your Uncle Jack off a horse, and helping your uncle jack off a horse.

Grammar is the difference between knowing your shit, and knowing you're shit.

Just remember that you're unique, just like everyone else.

Don't tell me that the sky's the limit when there are footprints on the moon.

A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.

I didn’t fall. The floor just needed a hug.

Everybody lies, but it doesn’t matter since nobody listens.

To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first. And, whatever you hit, call it the target.

You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She’s 97 today and we don’t know where the hell she is.

They’ve finally come up with the perfect office computer. If it makes a mistake, it blames another computer.

Avoid fruits and nuts. You are what you eat.

Graduation Speech: I’d like to thank the internet, Google, Wikipedia, Microsoft Word, and Copy & Paste.

It matters not whether you win or lose; what matters is whether I win or lose.

A good lawyer knows the law; a clever one takes the judge to lunch.

"Let's eat, Grandma!" "Let's eat Grandma!" Help save lives. Use correct grammar.

I could agree with you, but then we'd both be wrong.

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

It takes 8,460 bolts to assemble an automobile, and one nut to scatter it all over the road.

If it weren't for electricity we’d all be watching television by candlelight.

The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.

Arguing about whether the glass is half full or half empty misses the point, which is this: the bartender cheated you.

Thank you Facebook, I can now farm without going outside, cook without being in my kitchen, feed fish I don’t have & waste an entire day without having a life.

What do you mean, my birth certificate expired?

One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh he took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions.

When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car

In the primary school, I was an outstanding student. My teacher would send me to stand outside of the class as a punishment.

Don’t let your mind wander; it’s too little to be let out alone.

If you are talking behind my back, you are in a good position to kiss my ass.

Some people come into our lives and leave footprints on our hearts, while others come into our lives and make us wanna leave footprints on their face.

One day, I will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject.

There is a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.

Man who stands on toilet, gets high on pot!

Sometimes people deserve a high five, in the face, with a chair.

God grant me the serenity to accept that people are ignorant, the courage to uphold the law when I’m hostile, and the wisdom to realize that murder is illegal.

How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise my hand.

I don’t exercise. If God had wanted me to bend over, he would have put diamonds on the floor.

Keep talking, someday you’ll say something intelligent.

Even when fully awake, we still have trouble locating car keys in our pockets, finding cell phones, and pinning the tail on the donkey, but I'll bet you anything anyone can locate and push the snooze button from 5 feet away, in the dark, while half-asleep, every time.

Some people are only alive because it is illegal to kill.

Everyone is gifted. Some open the package sooner.

You shouldn't wait for your prince charming. With your luck, he's probably stuck up a tree somewhere.

Don’t be so humble—you are not that great.

Robbers stab you in the stomach. Boyfriends stab you in the heart. Friends stab you in the back. Best friends don't carry knives

Whenever I’m caught between two evils, I take the one I’ve never tried.

Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.

Have you ever had a fly or small bug land on your computer screen and your first reaction is to try and scare it with the cursor?

Insanity is hereditary. You get it from your kids.

There is nothing worse than that moment in which you are sure you're going to die after leaning back in a chair a little too far.

I can be your best friend or your worst enemy. You seem to prefer the latter.

A closed mind is a good thing to lose.

It's a beautiful day, now watch some idiot screw it up.

When you get caught looking at him, just remember, he was looking back!

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.

The dinosaurs' extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all commited suicide.

Everything here is edible. I'm edible, but that is called cannibalism and is frowned upon in most societies.

If it weren't for the last minute, nothing would get done.

I hate it when you miss a call by like two seconds, but when you call back immediately after, no one answers. What did they do, leave a message, drop the phone, and sprint as far away as possible?

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

They say hard work never hurts anybody, but why take the chance?

You can also read my stories on AO3 if you prefer the format. My username there is Derek_the_Dalek

Tiger, Tiger.
Draco's chest tattoo/carving thing: http://www.tattoostime.com/images/68/awesome-celtic-bear-paw-tattoo-on-chest.jpg

Draco’s ring/Prospers collar (1): http://www.ross-simons.com/images/cf/236961c.jpg

Prosper’s paw tattoo: http://pixelimperfectdotcom.files.wordpress.com/2013/02/6e1ed90b1a63b566393a732dbde14632_d4p9fki_by_deathshiva-d5w4x8x.jpg

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On a Pale Horse by Hyliian reviews
AU. When Dumbledore tried to summon a hero from another world to deal with their Dark Lord problem, this probably wasn't what he had in mind. MoD!Harry, Godlike!Harry, Unhinged!Harry. Dumbledore bashing.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 22 - Words: 57,135 - Reviews: 2606 - Favs: 5,382 - Follows: 6,337 - Updated: 5/6 - Published: 9/11/2014 - Harry P.
Coven of Twilight by Moon Witch '96 reviews
Bella Swan isn't normal. No matter how much she wishes to be, something deep within her screams at her that this fact is the truest of things. When tragedy strikes, it all starts to make sense why. Forks is a place where she will discover who she truly is...But Forks has dangerous secrets, just like her... It's only a matter of time before those secrets kill her...Or Save her. R&R
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Supernatural/Romance - Chapters: 13 - Words: 57,595 - Reviews: 50 - Favs: 52 - Follows: 62 - Updated: 1/27 - Published: 5/30/2012 - Bella
I See The Moon by hctiB-notsoB reviews
Gen. "While on the run, Bruce meets a young man who speaks to the moon. He's probably not quite the sanest friend Bruce could have made, but, well...beggers can't be choosers."
Crossover - Harry Potter & Avengers - Rated: T - English - Friendship - Chapters: 13 - Words: 40,930 - Reviews: 4006 - Favs: 7,927 - Follows: 9,633 - Updated: 1/18 - Published: 6/13/2012 - Harry P., Hulk/Bruce B.
Time to Put Your Galleons Where Your Mouth Is by Tsume Yuki reviews
Harry had never been able to comprehend a sibling relationship before, but he always thought he'd be great at it. Until, as Master of Death, he's reborn one Turais Rigel Black, older brother to Sirius and Regulus. (Rebirth/time travel and Master of Death Harry)
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Family/Adventure - Chapters: 21 - Words: 46,303 - Reviews: 2001 - Favs: 6,613 - Follows: 2,839 - Updated: 1/14 - Published: 8/11/2014 - Harry P., Sirius B., Regulus B., Walburga B. - Complete
Regeneratione by Moon Witch '96 reviews
Hermione is no longer the brains of the Golden Trio, and she is no longer in her own time, thanks to the meddling of certain e's been forced to live a new life in the past, and she has to make sure the future does not once again become what it was, at whatever cost. She has to do it for Harry's sake. She has too. Please Read and Review.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Fantasy/Romance - Chapters: 12 - Words: 63,250 - Reviews: 112 - Favs: 74 - Follows: 134 - Updated: 12/16/2014 - Published: 4/29/2012 - Hermione G.
Mortem Cantor by Kyandua reviews
After losing everything he holds dear, Harry Potter is thrust into a new world; one with Superheroes and evil Villains that make Voldemort look like a kitten. Struggling to survive in this new world - and, meanwhile, gaining the attention of S.H.I.E.L.D. - he attempts to live a NORMAL life. But, he is Harry Potter after all... what could possibly go wrong? Possible Slash!
Crossover - Harry Potter & Avengers - Rated: T - English - Sci-Fi - Chapters: 18 - Words: 31,915 - Reviews: 2071 - Favs: 3,910 - Follows: 6,090 - Updated: 11/18/2014 - Published: 6/21/2012 - Harry P.
Chance Encounters by Rain Seaker reviews
Harry meets the members of the Avengers at different times throughout his life.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Avengers - Rated: T - English - Friendship - Chapters: 12 - Words: 51,026 - Reviews: 1146 - Favs: 3,658 - Follows: 1,906 - Updated: 11/1/2014 - Published: 5/24/2012 - Harry P. - Complete
The Marauders and the Phoenix Blessed by AliceBlackwood reviews
Sometimes fate can be cruel and what Arella Danvers learns is that it's never what it seems to be. Through love, laughter and a little mischief, along with a few good friends, she must learn who she is and what she can become. SB/OC, James/Lily
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 6 - Words: 27,096 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 19 - Updated: 8/26/2014 - Published: 2/7/2012 - [Sirius B., OC] [James P., Lily Evans P.]
Feelings by Keeper of the Fandom reviews
There are many problems associated with being a werewolf, but as far as Remus Lupin is concerned, puberty and the hormones that go with it is the worst of them. Yaoi
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,120 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 32 - Follows: 5 - Published: 7/7/2014 - [Remus L., Sirius B.] James P., Lily Evans P. - Complete
How Harry Became An Avenger by uoduck reviews
Part 1 of "Harry Potter and the Avengers". After the war, Harry is working as a healer. He's been working in St. Mungo's for 7 years now and needs a change of scenery. The place/choice he picks has some pretty interesting consequences and some intriguing neighbors.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Avengers - Rated: T - English - Drama/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 12 - Words: 19,357 - Reviews: 136 - Favs: 1,164 - Follows: 819 - Updated: 3/14/2014 - Published: 1/7/2013 - Harry P. - Complete
Potential by Diaphanous reviews
Agent Coulson writes a report about a new power SHIELD is eyeing. Barton is just there for inserting witty comments. Well, he thinks they're witty anyway. *a non-linear, but related series of drabbles/shorts about an agent and a demi-god*
Crossover - Harry Potter & Avengers - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 10 - Words: 8,508 - Reviews: 221 - Favs: 671 - Follows: 969 - Updated: 3/6/2014 - Published: 7/23/2012 - Harry P., Agent Phil Coulson
Until the End of Time by Marauders4EVR reviews
Sherlock Holmes has always been brilliant. He knew that he was the smartest child in London. He knew that the other children thought of him as daft. He knew that the funny man with the bowtie really was daft. He knew that the safest place in the universe was in his brother's arms. He knew that no matter where they went, Mycroft would be there to protect him. Until the end of time.
Crossover - Doctor Who & Sherlock - Rated: T - English - Family/Adventure - Chapters: 40 - Words: 128,833 - Reviews: 192 - Favs: 137 - Follows: 103 - Updated: 11/12/2013 - Published: 5/20/2013 - Sherlock H., Mycroft H. - Complete
It's Not Easy Being Slytherin by ButcheredAngel reviews
With the return of Voldemort,everyone is re-sorted. The golden trio splits, Harry ends up in Slytherin being roommates with Draco Malfoy. Harry begins to change, friendships become something more, and is Draco behind it all? revision of Slytherin Roots
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 14 - Words: 85,399 - Reviews: 181 - Favs: 231 - Follows: 334 - Updated: 10/26/2013 - Published: 12/9/2011 - Harry P., Draco M.
The Diadone Method by m0untainc1imber reviews
When she thinks no one is looking, Petunia slaps three year old Harry while stuck in traffic. Mafia Lord Salvator Diadone notices and takes action. This is a Harry grows up in the mafia story, with a bit of a twist.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Drama - Chapters: 11 - Words: 75,586 - Reviews: 666 - Favs: 2,342 - Follows: 2,795 - Updated: 9/20/2013 - Published: 4/21/2012 - Harry P.
200 Things I'm Not Allowed to Do at Hogwarts by Selenehekate reviews
Now being REVAMPED! It's Fred and George's last year at Hogwarts, so naturally they want to break the rules... and get Hermione, Harry, Ron, and Ginny involved! Their list of 200 things they shouldn't do, but will do anyway... Told in snippets, R&R!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 22 - Words: 46,231 - Reviews: 1162 - Favs: 1,063 - Follows: 546 - Updated: 8/28/2013 - Published: 6/16/2009 - Fred W., George W. - Complete
50 Things James Potter Is Not Allowed To Do by Marauders-And-Lily-I-Love reviews
Lily writes a list of things that James is forbidden to do. 4 Sing 'I'm Too Sexy' whilst wearing a bright pink tutu and ballet shoes. 5 Sing 'I'm Too Sexy' whilst attempting to grope McGonagall. FOURTH ONESHOT POSTED :
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 7 - Words: 6,060 - Reviews: 436 - Favs: 426 - Follows: 304 - Updated: 8/18/2013 - Published: 7/19/2009 - James P., Lily Evans P.
Dr Capt Julia H Watson by Rurple101 reviews
FemaleJohn - Dr Julia Watson moves in with Sherlock Holmes, and finds herself having fun and danger. Can he cope with a feminine touch around his flat or will he fall for her innocent charm and grim past? Sherlock x Fem!John
Sherlock - Rated: M - English - Romance/Crime - Chapters: 28 - Words: 61,902 - Reviews: 206 - Favs: 433 - Follows: 521 - Updated: 7/24/2013 - Published: 1/30/2012 - Sherlock H., John W.
Irreparable by SinSidhe reviews
Harry Potter would like a break. Unfortunately, when it comes to his life, fate is cruel. Now, he cannot rest until evil has been destroyed... At least he has eternity to do it.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Avengers - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 10 - Words: 40,457 - Reviews: 985 - Favs: 2,762 - Follows: 3,830 - Updated: 7/11/2013 - Published: 11/10/2012 - Harry P.
The Case of the Creature Kidnappings by frostykitten reviews
"What your puny mind doesn't understand, Potter, is that she does the paperwork I hate, and I do the dirty work that grates on her Gryffindor sensibilities." Hermione and Draco have been partners working in the Department for Control and Regulation of Magical Creatures for years, but their comfortable partnership is shaken up when creatures go missing and the Aurors get involved.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 32 - Words: 102,746 - Reviews: 1100 - Favs: 1,367 - Follows: 674 - Updated: 6/24/2013 - Published: 8/9/2012 - Draco M., Hermione G. - Complete
Strangers in Bars by Whispering Darkness reviews
Everyone else was avoiding the strange man but Harry felt himself drawn to him. His loud, archaic speech and enthusiastic drinking seemed to be off-putting to most people but to the Gryffindor it felt comfortingly familiar how different the man was.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Avengers - Rated: K+ - English - Friendship - Chapters: 2 - Words: 3,716 - Reviews: 289 - Favs: 2,097 - Follows: 1,238 - Updated: 5/30/2013 - Published: 7/17/2012 - Harry P., Iron Man/Tony S., Thor - Complete
Controversy by The Sin That Falls Angels reviews
A twist on the final year of Hogwarts. Draco doesn't kill Dumbledore and spends the summer with Harry for protection. Follow the boys as they learn to cope with each other at Privet Drive and then later at school. How will people react to the new duo? Have decided to make it slash hp/dd rating will probably go up
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 35 - Words: 116,814 - Reviews: 120 - Favs: 271 - Follows: 199 - Updated: 4/14/2013 - Published: 11/17/2012 - Harry P., Draco M. - Complete
The Justice Reaper by A. E. Giggle reviews
SEQUEL TO TSK & TWS: After his time at Hogwarts, Edward knows that Bella and he are destined to be parents. Unfortunately, their time on Isle Esme sets other, more ominous events in motion too.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Fantasy - Chapters: 5 - Words: 92,409 - Reviews: 578 - Favs: 459 - Follows: 527 - Updated: 3/22/2013 - Published: 9/25/2011
Bonded by Luciel89 reviews
Demon/Angel College!AU: Dean is a demon who dislikes angels and Castiel is his new angel roommate at college. Dean finds himself fascinated with Castiel's wings, much to his own annoyance, which only leads him into trouble. When they become accidentally mated to each other, things get complicated and feelings get hurt, but can it be the start of something good?
Supernatural - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 20 - Words: 59,731 - Reviews: 501 - Favs: 721 - Follows: 323 - Updated: 2/22/2013 - Published: 1/23/2013 - Dean W., Castiel - Complete
Finding Home by cywsaphyre reviews
When Harry finally accepted the fact that he had stopped aging, ten years had passed and he knew it was time to leave. AU.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Avengers - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Friendship - Chapters: 15 - Words: 61,162 - Reviews: 2440 - Favs: 8,925 - Follows: 4,468 - Updated: 2/18/2013 - Published: 5/25/2012 - Harry P. - Complete
The Bright Winter Stars by Captainraychill reviews
For reasons unknown, Narcissa Malfoy stopped visiting her son in Azkaban. Hermione Granger can't let him spend Christmas Eve alone.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 2 - Words: 8,489 - Reviews: 75 - Favs: 338 - Follows: 37 - Updated: 2/14/2013 - Published: 12/8/2012 - Draco M., Hermione G. - Complete
Watching A Very Potter Musical by Muggleborn Demigod reviews
Harry, Ron, Hermione, Ginny, Malfoy, Snape, and Dumbledore are transported to a mysterious room by a very cliché flash of light. There, they are told to watch a very hilarious parody musical about Harry called 'A Very Potter Musicical'.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 25 - Words: 38,289 - Reviews: 211 - Favs: 345 - Follows: 162 - Updated: 1/28/2013 - Published: 10/5/2012 - Harry P. - Complete
FEAR by deceptive-serenade reviews
I found my girlfriend not acting like herself and pretty much scaring the pants off me. What else is there to do but run away to the Slytherin Common Room? Unfortunately, that's where I accidentally sat on Rose Weasley. Whoops. Rose/Scorpius
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 7,204 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 73 - Follows: 18 - Updated: 1/27/2013 - Published: 1/16/2012 - Rose W., Scorpius M. - Complete
Third Time's the Charm by tamatoe reviews
"Do you really want to die, Mr. Banner?" -The first time he tried, he woke up to a green eyed man plucking the bullet from his head.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Avengers - Rated: T - English - Drama/Friendship - Chapters: 3 - Words: 5,262 - Reviews: 50 - Favs: 348 - Follows: 549 - Updated: 1/26/2013 - Published: 1/2/2013 - Harry P., Hulk/Bruce B.
Destined and Doomed by 18087 reviews
The Marauders are back for their 6th year, and expect nothing to have changed. But things have; there is a new Slytherin student and there is something about Harrison Peters that is drawing Sirius in.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 24 - Words: 34,398 - Reviews: 504 - Favs: 901 - Follows: 1,140 - Updated: 1/26/2013 - Published: 11/18/2011 - Sirius B., Harry P.
10 Things I Hate About You by juniormarie reviews
James asks Lily why she hates him...so she tells him.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,671 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 3 - Published: 1/24/2013 - James P., Lily Evans P. - Complete
Remus Lupin: BAMF by Sasparilla123 reviews
He's slightly insane, addicted to chocolate and allergic to jam. This is the story of the real Remus Lupin. Marauders-era, eventual slash. ("Are we talking midget rabbits? Are those even real?" asked Sirius. Remus fixed him with an exasperated look. "The term is 'vertically challenged'," he said reprovingly. "We've been over this.")
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Humor - Chapters: 11 - Words: 51,990 - Reviews: 561 - Favs: 386 - Follows: 386 - Updated: 1/21/2013 - Published: 1/25/2011 - Remus L., Sirius B.
Beautiful by InkedBaby reviews
Bella watches Edward. Who would have thought the attractive school loner watches back. She always thought he was only absorbed in his music, but come to find out they're completely absorbed in each other. Fluffy, different, cute, Music loving Edward, Trying to come out of her shell Bella. Canon. All human AU.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Friendship/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,532 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 25 - Follows: 7 - Published: 1/4/2013 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Dear Santa by CherriLuvsMusic reviews
"Dear Santa," the five year old read, his steel eyes flickering over the page, reading as he wrote, "I was a pretty good boy this year. Well, not to Blaise, but since Blaise is annoying, I don't think that should count. So this year for Christmas, I want Hermione Granger." One-shot. R&R.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,071 - Reviews: 64 - Favs: 211 - Follows: 31 - Published: 12/25/2012 - Draco M., Hermione G. - Complete
All the Small Things by lovelyapper reviews
James and Peter give a bunch of rather well thought pointers that might explain why exactly Remus and Sirius can't keep girlfriends. / Rated T because of language.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,842 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 86 - Follows: 7 - Published: 12/1/2012 - Remus L., Sirius B., James P., Peter P. - Complete
Vegas baby! City of Dreams by yinngoh reviews
The Avengers take some much needed time off and head to Las Vegas. Two-Shot. COMPLETE.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Avengers - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 6,840 - Reviews: 84 - Favs: 648 - Follows: 297 - Updated: 11/11/2012 - Published: 10/24/2012 - Harry P., Iron Man/Tony S. - Complete
A Very Sirius Letter by atouchofredemption reviews
In which Sirius did not lock his best friend in the cupboard, Peter resents the comment about being neutered, James has a leech on his knee and Remus is possibly going to commit to a fifty year long vow of silence. And all of it stems from one letter, where one harmless little 'sorry I forgot your birthday four months ago' would most definitely have sufficed. Please R & R!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,151 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 10/23/2012 - Published: 9/16/2012 - Sirius B., Remus L., James P., Peter P. - Complete
Simply Irresistible by bookworm1993 reviews
Draco gave a cocky grin. "I am going to give you a makeover." "I'm sorry what?" "You heard me Granger, I'm going to give you a makeover that will make every man want you,and make Weasley die of regret. You will be simply irresistible."
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 30 - Words: 77,235 - Reviews: 5327 - Favs: 8,861 - Follows: 3,366 - Updated: 10/21/2012 - Published: 11/8/2009 - Draco M., Hermione G. - Complete
The Mark of Q by leDaph reviews
Sixth year wasn't supposed to be anything out of the ordinary for Alex - well, 'ordinary' is relative when you have international spies for parents and a secret identity to maintain. But her days of thwarting the Marauders are up... they're fighting back!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 26 - Words: 55,443 - Reviews: 280 - Favs: 203 - Follows: 134 - Updated: 10/16/2012 - Published: 5/18/2008 - Sirius B., OC - Complete
Draco Driving by scarlettcat reviews
Draco was driving alright. Driving her crazy. And the two idiots in the back seat weren't helping matters.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,684 - Reviews: 28 - Favs: 83 - Follows: 14 - Published: 10/5/2012 - Hermione G., Draco M. - Complete
Pregnancy Scare of the Fifth Year by Silver Lucifer reviews
Sirius runs around Hogwarts telling everyone that he's pregnant. Remus doesn't know if he should be amused or horrified that people believe him.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 820 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 1 - Published: 9/30/2012 - Remus L., Sirius B. - Complete
Remember When? by 2brown-eyes reviews
A group of friends go on a road trip before they head off to their separate ways. In the car to past the time they play a game called Remember When..? Basically looking back on a series of memories of them growing up together. 90% angst free. light/funny
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 28 - Words: 65,680 - Reviews: 214 - Favs: 234 - Follows: 143 - Updated: 9/7/2012 - Published: 3/1/2012 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Steve And The Barkeep by Runaway Deviant reviews
Steve has a routine, and god help him if he's going to break that routine for anyone - yes, that includes you, Tony. Enter a local barkeeper with a penchant for the occult and the gift of good conversation. EWE, not slash, just a couple of guys and a few hundred drinks. Rated for fear of the thought police.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Avengers - Rated: M - English - Friendship/Supernatural - Chapters: 12 - Words: 34,438 - Reviews: 782 - Favs: 3,838 - Follows: 2,426 - Updated: 9/3/2012 - Published: 8/9/2012 - Harry P., Captain America/Steve R. - Complete
Where no one has gone before by Jennachelle reviews
Edward Jazz Emmett astronauts on a mission to save their planet. Bella Alice Rosalie warriors on a mission to save their planet. What happens when intelligent resourceful adventurers meet beautiful fierce protectors. will have some romance, there's just not enough spots to add it lol
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Sci-Fi/Fantasy - Chapters: 5 - Words: 13,164 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 17 - Updated: 8/12/2012 - Published: 7/24/2012 - Edward, Bella
Harry Potter and the Ancient Race by Mione5 reviews
Harry arrives at Grimmauld Place in time for his birthday, but he refuses to see anyone. Even Dumbledore can't get through the wards the Boy-Who-Lived has on his rooms. So why does Harry let Draco Malfoy into his room? HP/DM Slash
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 12 - Words: 52,279 - Reviews: 88 - Favs: 765 - Follows: 190 - Published: 8/11/2012 - Harry P., Draco M. - Complete
A Stolen Childhood by Jaffaninja reviews
A devastating betrayal separates five-year-old twins Harry and Ashton Potter. Ashton is the Chosen One with a heart-shaped scar, and Harry is dead. Or so they all think... My take on a 'Voldemort raises Harry' fic. Dark!Harry
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama/Family - Chapters: 12 - Words: 49,150 - Reviews: 160 - Favs: 330 - Follows: 394 - Updated: 8/7/2012 - Published: 5/23/2012 - Harry P., Voldemort
You, too by Jasu94 reviews
"Bruce Banner, pleasure to meet you." "Remus Lupin, the pleasure is mine." Regardless of their biographical data, two men who have more in common than they would think meet by coincidence and have a talk about all the things nobody else would understand. As humerous as their tragic life stories can be. Guest appearance of Tony Stark!
Crossover - Harry Potter & Avengers - Rated: K+ - English - Friendship/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,239 - Reviews: 30 - Favs: 177 - Follows: 26 - Published: 7/30/2012 - Remus L., Hulk/Bruce B. - Complete
Dark and Light by Faust VII reviews
He was a genius. He could paint, play music, talk to snakes, control fire. He was more powerful and intelligent then any knew. He had strong 'friends'. The problem was, he had few emotions. Dark Harry. I Do Not Own Harry Potter. -Slash-
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 53 - Words: 102,267 - Reviews: 2806 - Favs: 6,122 - Follows: 3,941 - Updated: 7/22/2012 - Published: 3/15/2009 - Harry P. - Complete
Five Times Thor Failed to Bring Out the Jotun… by Omnicat reviews
...in Loki, and Once He Succeeded / After the events of the movie, the brothers re-unite on Earth and Thor realises that he never got to see Loki's Jotun form. Something has to be done, of course!
Thor - Rated: T - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,508 - Reviews: 31 - Favs: 176 - Follows: 23 - Published: 7/1/2012 - Thor, Loki - Complete
Family by lalala777 reviews
The Avengers might clash like crazy, but when one of them is hurt, the others are there. And Steve realizes they're like one huge dysfunctional –but loving- family.
Avengers - Rated: K+ - English - Family/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,449 - Reviews: 69 - Favs: 393 - Follows: 45 - Published: 6/26/2012 - Black Widow/Natasha R., Captain America/Steve R., Iron Man/Tony S., Hulk/Bruce B. - Complete
Angry Outbursts by Lionheart789 reviews
What if the order heard Harry's shouts that night in Grimmauld Place? What if Harry not only shouted at Ron and Hermione, but also put Mrs Black in her place? What would the order's reaction be? One-Shot. Funny. Please read and review.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 735 - Reviews: 27 - Favs: 208 - Follows: 47 - Published: 6/4/2012 - Harry P. - Complete
Breakfast Naps by DarkSorceressofLight reviews
After coming back from nearly an all-night mission and almost no sleep, all Clint wants is some breakfast. Too bad his body doesn't seem to agree. Basically no plot too this. Just some cute team fluffiness to go around. Team-fic
Avengers - Rated: K+ - English - Family/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,785 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 124 - Follows: 17 - Published: 6/1/2012 - Hawkeye/Clint B. - Complete
Supermegafoxyawesome: The Pimp Cane by pokeyspot reviews
CRACKFIC On going to ask for Draco's hand Harry encounters Lucius Malfoy in all his glory. Involves Darry, improper use of an umbrella and of course the inspiration: the all famous Malfoy pimp cane. NO lemon, just CRACKFIC
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,388 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 37 - Follows: 2 - Published: 4/2/2012 - Draco M., Harry P. - Complete
All The Right Moves by laughdancebelieve reviews
He's the player. She's the dancer. When Bella arrives at her new school she quickly finds out it's like no other. But what happens when two totally different people are forced together? This would be something they would never forget... ALL-HUMAN COMPLETE
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 33 - Words: 80,647 - Reviews: 659 - Favs: 673 - Follows: 297 - Updated: 4/1/2012 - Published: 1/22/2010 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Back in the Day by pokeyspot reviews
CRACKFIC The Marauders in all their glory, meet Harry Potter. Typical ne? And yet... will contain Crazy!Harry, Darry, time travel, SiriRem, bad pick up lines, abuse of Mrs. Norris, and anything else I come up with... CRACKFIC
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 5 - Words: 9,850 - Reviews: 35 - Favs: 119 - Follows: 27 - Updated: 2/29/2012 - Published: 2/21/2012 - Harry P., Draco M. - Complete
Kid by evansentranced reviews
A Potion's "accident" turns Harry into an eight year old, and Draco Malfoy intends to kidnap him. But Harry's a passive-aggressive, revenge-obsessed little bastard. Maybe Draco will wait on that whole Dark Lord thing. POVDraco, pretty AU.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 19,867 - Reviews: 341 - Favs: 1,866 - Follows: 753 - Updated: 1/21/2012 - Published: 8/8/2010 - Draco M., Harry P. - Complete
A Different Life by Tiro reviews
They all thought Lily was Light. She wasn't. She was in love with the Dark Lord, and gave birth to his son. Now Erus Riddle is growing up, showing just how evil the son of Lord Voldemort can be. Of course, the Light doesn't know that fact. SLASH-FIC.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Family - Chapters: 64 - Words: 366,567 - Reviews: 2776 - Favs: 3,427 - Follows: 1,954 - Updated: 12/28/2011 - Published: 12/28/2007 - Voldemort, Harry P. - Complete
For Love of Chocolate by Crave Kashmir reviews
One unbearably hot summer day at the Burrow, Remus indulges his senses with unforeseen results. One-shot. Remus/Hermione/Chocolate
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,859 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 74 - Follows: 13 - Published: 11/24/2011 - Remus L., Hermione G. - Complete
Not fair by EmmaCorneliaHart reviews
Oneshot. When Petunia Evans meets a tall, dark and handsome stranger, she wonders if maybe Vernon is not the one for her. But, as usual, her sister has to come and ruin it for her. Unfortunately for Tuney, a LE/JP fic.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,390 - Reviews: 43 - Favs: 161 - Follows: 15 - Published: 11/13/2011 - Petunia D., James P. - Complete
This is Halloween by AnastasiaCullen88 reviews
Edward and Bella are total opposites. Can a week of detention and a 'haunted hayride' change the way they look at each other? After all this is Halloween. I suck at summaries. Entry for Strangers in Night O/S Contest
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,965 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 8 - Published: 11/1/2011 - Bella, Edward
Lucius Malfoy Must Die by SokkasFirstFangirl reviews
Lucius has had the best night of his life and must tell someone! The only person around is three year old Sirius. Later Sirius says the new words he has learnt much to the anger of Andromeda. Oh dear!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,712 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 78 - Follows: 10 - Published: 9/20/2011 - Lucius M., Sirius B. - Complete
Opposite Day by ILoveHarryPotterForever reviews
"Oi, Potter! You. Me. A date. This Saturday," Lily said, her voice over-confident. "Um . . . what?" In which Lily Evans is cocky and over-confident, James Potter won't date her and Peter is Dumbledore.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,496 - Reviews: 27 - Favs: 93 - Follows: 11 - Published: 8/23/2011 - James P., Lily Evans P. - Complete
Not Your Usual Veela Mate by Janara reviews
Draco is a Veela and guess who his mate is? I've tried to write a Veela story where the two don't jump into bed immediately, hence the title. Will contain Dumbledore bashing. HPDM LMSS AU from book 5
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 69 - Words: 417,467 - Reviews: 8511 - Favs: 6,148 - Follows: 5,604 - Updated: 7/25/2011 - Published: 9/8/2005 - Harry P., Draco M.
Another Sleepless Night by ILoveHarryPotterForever reviews
"Lily?" James asked, "What's wrong?" ... "There's a man outside your door and I don't know who he is. He was outside my door before, but then I ran in here real fast with my book," She held up her Potions book to show him, "and he followed me!"
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Suspense - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,731 - Reviews: 26 - Favs: 76 - Follows: 9 - Published: 7/17/2011 - Lily Evans P., James P. - Complete
Behind the Ticklish Pear by DramioneLurver reviews
Frannie is just a House Elf who, quite frankly, despised the Crazy Hat Girl. That is, until one fateful night when the frizzy-haired witch decided to visit the kitchens to bake a cake. The fun part was when that Malfoy boy came along... DMHG
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 7,576 - Reviews: 59 - Favs: 189 - Follows: 24 - Published: 2/12/2011 - Hermione G., Draco M. - Complete
Oops, he did it again! by JasperSAYSrelax128 reviews
When the family goes hunting,Emmett and Jasper Bella-sit. They decide to play truth or dare. Contains Jasper in Wal-Mart, Bella kissing, Emmett in jail? and Blue paint...will Emmett get in trouble...AGAIN? Won the Fanpire Fanfiction Best Humor award!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 51 - Words: 68,268 - Reviews: 3118 - Favs: 1,747 - Follows: 555 - Updated: 1/26/2011 - Published: 4/23/2009 - Complete
The Plan is WHAT? by pokeyspot reviews
CRACKFIC "The Power the Dark Lord knows not."...Holy Sweet Muffins save us...*sighs* they've unleashed the most terrifying thing on this er - internet. Implied Darry. Read at your own risk. I am NOT held accountable for any brain damaged readers! CRACKFIC
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 881 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 27 - Follows: 4 - Published: 11/10/2010 - Harry P., Draco M. - Complete
Padfoot and 'The Talk' by marauders716 reviews
Sirius decides that it's time for Harry to receive 'The Talk', Harry just wishes he could escape- little does he know, he will never look at donuts or bananas the same way again.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,618 - Reviews: 161 - Favs: 559 - Follows: 60 - Published: 10/10/2010 - Sirius B., Harry P. - Complete
Midnight Sun by Herald-MageAnduli reviews
COMPLETE! AU GOF. Neutral! Harry. The 'Boy Who Lived' is Harry's older twin. Neglected by his family, intelligence constantly underestimated, his placement in Slytherin house is a shock. Disowning him was their worst possible mistake. Along with his friend Draco Malfoy he faces the challenges of the Twizard Tournament. Beware the Midnight Sun. Mild Swearing, Pre-Slash. 1.4M Views!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 28 - Words: 64,303 - Reviews: 1230 - Favs: 3,575 - Follows: 1,429 - Updated: 8/20/2010 - Published: 10/22/2009 - Harry P., Draco M. - Complete
The Tales of a Charming TruckNapper by Mk Marie reviews
Edward makes one memorable first impression! "Stop listening to my music, get off my cell phone, and bring back my truck!" I seethed. "Now!" Are first impressions really the most important? Let's hope not. AU-HUMAN. OOC. All canon couples.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 34 - Words: 114,368 - Reviews: 5677 - Favs: 2,971 - Follows: 1,399 - Updated: 8/16/2010 - Published: 12/24/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
All Because of A Reese's by Shai Butter reviews
“I will love you forever if you let me have that,” I said suddenly, surprising myself. Edward chuckled. “Is that a promise?” he teased...Forget about Alice, Edward is Bella's new college roommate. What will happen? Is love in the air? Full summary inside!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 34 - Words: 56,131 - Reviews: 1746 - Favs: 1,041 - Follows: 627 - Updated: 2/1/2010 - Published: 7/28/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
All The Dementors of Azkaban by LifeWriter reviews
AU PoA: When Luna Lovegood is condemned to Azkaban prison for her part in opening the Chamber of Secrets, Harry Potter is the first to protest. Minister Fudge is reluctant to comply, but then again he never really had a choice in the first place. Oneshot.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 14,603 - Reviews: 959 - Favs: 5,047 - Follows: 939 - Published: 9/12/2009 - Harry P., Luna L. - Complete
Rainfall by Sara's Girl reviews
So what if Draco has a rain kink? Everyone likes something weird. AU 7th-year fluffy!verse. HPDM. Oneshot.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,738 - Reviews: 110 - Favs: 463 - Follows: 36 - Published: 8/27/2009 - Harry P., Draco M. - Complete
Harry Potter and the Magical Pickup Lines by RoastedGrover reviews
Harry and Draco meet at a pub, and much hilarity ensues. Harry/Draco slash.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,170 - Reviews: 103 - Favs: 244 - Follows: 21 - Published: 8/2/2009 - Harry P., Draco M. - Complete
Harbinger by Copper Vixen reviews
Harry is a demon with a mission. His assignment? To locate and retrieve his target before he runs out of time or irreparable damage is done to the mortal plane. HPDM Slash
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Supernatural - Chapters: 21 - Words: 96,288 - Reviews: 548 - Favs: 666 - Follows: 322 - Updated: 3/29/2009 - Published: 4/28/2007 - Harry P., Draco M. - Complete
The Thief of Time by Tink Wolfe reviews
A tale about a lost Hallow, time-travel, growing up, falling in love, a new prophecy, and thinking up fun ways to kill Peter. Rated M for Mature. SBHG Sirius/Hermione.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 10 - Words: 118,684 - Reviews: 1242 - Favs: 1,648 - Follows: 1,482 - Updated: 2/26/2009 - Published: 12/13/2008 - Sirius B., Hermione G.
Very Bad Things by freudian fuckup reviews
On the list of Very Bad Things Sirius Black has done, Snogging Moony In a Bathroom is really only eighth or ninth.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 15 - Words: 58,832 - Reviews: 492 - Favs: 683 - Follows: 172 - Updated: 2/14/2009 - Published: 4/6/2008 - Remus L., Sirius B. - Complete
Based On True Events by pandorasnotebook reviews
The Cullens go see the movie Twilight and the rest of the theater has be a captive audience to their constant need to narrate. Oneshot.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 9,580 - Reviews: 318 - Favs: 404 - Follows: 65 - Published: 1/10/2009 - Complete
Hugo Weasley Is Going to Die, Or Is He? by weasleykingrocks reviews
Hugo Weasley locked his elder sister in a broom closet in attempt to get back at her. But when a certain Malfoy enters the scene, rather the closet, he gets more than he wanted, and she gets more than she expected..! 10/8/09-Story rewritten!
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,051 - Reviews: 52 - Favs: 142 - Follows: 23 - Published: 11/20/2008 - Rose W., Scorpius M.
Veil of Shadows by vvc reviews
In the days after Sirius falls through the veil, Harry retreats into silence and watches as the scene repeats itself in his mind’s eye. He knows that if he can just understand what was said by those whispering voices, that he could rescue his godfather.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 7,842 - Reviews: 194 - Favs: 964 - Follows: 166 - Published: 11/16/2008 - Harry P. - Complete
Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hogwarts by Roozette reviews
Title is self-explanitory. With a Harry/Draco twist. I am bored.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 29 - Words: 50,167 - Reviews: 1110 - Favs: 1,400 - Follows: 1,005 - Updated: 11/14/2008 - Published: 5/2/2008 - Harry P., Draco M.
These Feelings by bitchywitchy reviews
“Hermione, please.” He begged, his grip tightening as he shook her. “No, Ronald! Let. Go. Of. Me.” she yelled as she lashed out with her hand, trying to scratch him. Anything to be let go. “Let go of her now, Weasel.” A voice came. One-shot, COMPLETE.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,782 - Reviews: 84 - Favs: 396 - Follows: 43 - Published: 10/10/2008 - Draco M., Hermione G. - Complete
A Wise Man Once Said by pleasebiteme reviews
Bella," Edward said disapprovingly. He knew my low tolerance for caffeine. New Moon: Page 494 . Bella drinks espresso. She then proceeds to act like a cat on crack. I'm not entirely sure what that means, but I imagine it's highly ridiculous. one-shot.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,301 - Reviews: 34 - Favs: 34 - Follows: 11 - Published: 7/22/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
The Wendell That Wasn't by opalish reviews
The true story of how Harry and Ginny's kids got their names. Really, it's all Snape's fault. Crackfic oneshot.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,814 - Reviews: 435 - Favs: 2,212 - Follows: 212 - Published: 7/15/2008 - Ginny W., Harry P. - Complete
The Poker Game by Enterprise1701-d reviews
Draco organizes a no-holds-barred poker game. Harry decides to compete... just a little fun fic co-written by Joshua. I might or might not write more on this.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 9 - Words: 123,923 - Reviews: 498 - Favs: 2,063 - Follows: 900 - Updated: 7/6/2008 - Published: 2/18/2008 - Harry P. - Complete
The Power of the Umbrella by WeasleyForMe reviews
Hermione and Draco are surprised by how much they enjoy sharing an umbrella during a Quidditch match!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,781 - Reviews: 210 - Favs: 835 - Follows: 94 - Published: 7/4/2008 - Hermione G., Draco M. - Complete
Prank Lord Potter by TardisIsTheOnlyWayToTravel reviews
Harry was dumb enough to swear a magical oath to replace Voldemort as Dark Lord. Thus, Veridans Lucis, Dark Lord of Chaos, is born. WIP Part 2 up!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 7,027 - Reviews: 292 - Favs: 1,177 - Follows: 1,024 - Updated: 6/16/2008 - Published: 1/5/2007 - Harry P.
Desperate Measures by vvc reviews
Harry may be a half-Veela, but there was no such thing as a destined mate. If somebody wanted him, they would have to prove their worthiness. And Draco’s chances don't look so good when Harry guts him at the welcoming feast… HPDM, mpreg
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 33 - Words: 196,164 - Reviews: 2754 - Favs: 4,090 - Follows: 1,347 - Updated: 6/4/2008 - Published: 4/30/2008 - Harry P., Draco M.
A Single Sentence by Rulern Av Ost reviews
The only piece of me that’s ever been inside the mouth of any dementor, is my dick.” Sirius said. And chaos ensued.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,326 - Reviews: 48 - Favs: 104 - Follows: 14 - Published: 3/30/2008 - Sirius B., Severus S. - Complete
A Complicated Person by Samayel reviews
One the day of Harry and Draco's handfasting, Ron finally learns the secret that brought Harry and Draco together, and gains a new respect for both of them.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,120 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 110 - Follows: 8 - Published: 10/22/2007 - Draco M., Harry P. - Complete
I Tauwght I Taw A Putty Tat by angeltread reviews
Harry, in a freak Potions mishap, is turned into a tiny kitten! To make matters worse, Malfoy’s been assigned task of caretaker! SLASH
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 16 - Words: 20,708 - Reviews: 972 - Favs: 1,505 - Follows: 508 - Updated: 1/2/2007 - Published: 10/27/2005 - Harry P., Draco M. - Complete
Honestly, Headmaster by Meteoricshipyards reviews
Harry has to explain what happened last night to Headmaster Dumbledore.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,843 - Reviews: 345 - Favs: 1,833 - Follows: 267 - Published: 10/9/2006 - Complete
Pretty Little Secrets by sparkley-tangerine reviews
Veela!Harry fic with HarryDraco slash. Rating will go up in future chappies. Lily Potter wasn't what everyone thought she was. Becoming an Elemental Veela just might give Harry the power to defeat Voldemort forever and possibly fall in love in the process
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 41 - Words: 148,061 - Reviews: 2503 - Favs: 4,109 - Follows: 1,192 - Updated: 3/17/2006 - Published: 3/22/2005 - Harry P., Draco M. - Complete
She Eats WHAT? by Callisto Nicol reviews
James and Lily talked. To each other. And this is bad how? Remus asked. She wants to eat me! James cried out. ONESHOT
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,923 - Reviews: 199 - Favs: 362 - Follows: 46 - Published: 8/26/2005 - James P., Lily Evans P. - Complete
Daily Prophet My Ass! by Wench of Hogsmead reviews
Harry has a little fun with the Daily Prophet's accusation that he fancies boys. Poor Draco...
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 581 - Reviews: 573 - Favs: 1,983 - Follows: 356 - Published: 7/4/2005 - Harry P., Draco M.
Observations of a Pure Blood Debutant by rainsrabble reviews
Narcissa watching Draco watch Hermione. She draws some very startling conclusions. One Shot. Complete.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,294 - Reviews: 634 - Favs: 2,364 - Follows: 273 - Published: 6/26/2005 - Hermione G., Draco M. - Complete
Tempus Fugit by Stylophile reviews
A monumental cock-up in Potions leaves Harry and Draco contending with more than mutual enmity, and a strong desire to utter all manner of profanities. Slash, sex and slurred words ensue.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 13 - Words: 97,329 - Reviews: 1514 - Favs: 3,118 - Follows: 423 - Updated: 12/20/2004 - Published: 3/15/2004 - Harry P., Draco M. - Complete
A Slytherin in Gryffindor Clothing by mahaliem reviews
Complete! Draco hits his head and wakes up in a world where he's a Gryffindor and Harry is a Slytherin.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 7 - Words: 43,944 - Reviews: 711 - Favs: 1,667 - Follows: 166 - Updated: 4/28/2004 - Published: 4/11/2004 - Draco M., Harry P. - Complete
Pigtails by Persnickety reviews
“I am completely horrified right now,” Draco responded blandly. “And strangely intrigued...” The ever popular scenario: Veritaserum in the Potions Lab. Slash themes. Humour.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 8,809 - Reviews: 272 - Favs: 522 - Follows: 128 - Updated: 3/17/2004 - Published: 2/26/2004 - Draco M., Harry P.
Apple Flavored Werewolves by silver-sunn101 reviews
SBRl slash! Remus discovers exactly why he distracted Sirius from his essay so much and the meaning of a perfect spring day.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,732 - Reviews: 41 - Favs: 34 - Follows: 3 - Published: 3/9/2004 - Remus L., Sirius B.
Redemption by krtshadow reviews
COMPLETE! Harry Potter has spent six years in Azkaban. Now, Dumbledore, Black and Lupin are here to retrieve him, now certain of his innocence. Will they be too late to save Harry's sanity? And if so, what does this mean for the world? AU after year 4.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 32 - Words: 100,077 - Reviews: 3662 - Favs: 5,997 - Follows: 1,195 - Updated: 2/12/2004 - Published: 8/16/2003 - Harry P. - Complete
A Flying Commentary by mamalazzer reviews
Draco Malfoy, having lost his position as seeker, is now Quidditch Commentator. And an extremely bitter Slytherin is not the best person to commentate on a game where his former side go against Gryffindor. All-Dialogue fic.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,451 - Reviews: 308 - Favs: 965 - Follows: 100 - Published: 11/24/2003 - Draco M., Ron W.
From the Blood by Mysticalsoul reviews
Harry and Draco have a secret; How do they tell the rest of the students at Hogwarts? 'From our blood, Harry, from our blood'. R&R please?
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,734 - Reviews: 113 - Favs: 139 - Follows: 23 - Published: 3/15/2003 - Draco M., Harry P.
Acronyms by Razzabeth reviews
Short 'n sweet HP/DM. Hermione discovers a pattern in Harry and Draco's insults..
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 736 - Reviews: 293 - Favs: 562 - Follows: 60 - Published: 5/7/2002 - Draco M., Harry P.
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Tiger, Tiger reviews
After an Animagus potion gone wrong, Harry becomes a tiger and is unable to change back. Though, without the weight of the world on his shoulders, Harry enjoys his new body, until something happens to make him go back to Hogwarts in the possession of Draco Malfoy. AU. HBP. OOC Everyone really. R, R and R. Swearing-like loads. Magically and morally grey Harry and Draco.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Friendship - Chapters: 14 - Words: 23,057 - Reviews: 201 - Favs: 265 - Follows: 412 - Updated: 7/21/2014 - Published: 2/5/2013 - [Harry P., Draco M.]
Thorillina reviews
Bella is not your average human. She's not human at all. She's a god. How does she know about the Cullens and what happens when Thor, her 'father' comes looking? Warning: includes sparkles, giant dogs, fluffy pillows, Skittles and Mike. Please review, cause I'm awesome. ADOPTED.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 10,968 - Reviews: 30 - Favs: 42 - Follows: 39 - Updated: 1/6/2013 - Published: 8/13/2012 - Bella, Edward