Author has written 3 stories for Vampire Diaries.
Hey i like writing and being creative
Name: Haha like I'm telling you
Age: Between 1-20
Quinn Santana Finn (Glee)
Feathertail Ivypool Jayfeather (Warriors)
Matt Damon Katherine Caroline Elijah Rebekah (Vampire Diaries)
Davina Monique Klaus Marcel (The Originals)
Favorite Color: Light Red
Favorite Animal: Cat Elephant Cheetah.
Spirit Animal: Cat
Funny XD-worthy labels and warnings
On Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)
On a package of pasta after the cooking insturctions: "Put on fork and eat." (No! Really? We're supposed to eat food?!)
On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (The shoplifter special!)
On a bar of Dial soap: Directions: Use like regular soap. (and that would be how?)
On some Swann frozen dinners: Serving suggestion: Defrost. (But it's just a suggestion!)
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box) Do not turn upside down. (Too late! you lose!)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: Product will be hot after heating. (Are you sure? Let's experiment.)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron: Do not iron clothes on body. (But wouldn't that save more time?)
On Boot's Children's cough medicine: Do not drive car or operate machinery. (We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds with colds off those fork lifts.)
On Nytol sleep aid: Warning: may cause drowsiness. (One would hope!)
On artificial bacon: "Real artificial bacon bits". (So we don't get fake fake bacon. Oh no we get real fake bacon.)
On a Korean kitchen knife: Warning: keep out of children. (hmm..something must have gotten lost in the translation..)
On a string of Christmas lights: For indoor or outdoor use only. (As opposed to use in outer space.)
On a food processor: Not to be used for the other use. (Now I'm curious.)
On Sainsbury's peanuts: Warning: contains nuts. (Really? I had no idea peanuts contained nuts!)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts: Instructions: open packet, eat nuts. (somebody got paid big bucks to write this one..)
On a Swedish chainsaw: Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
On a child's Superman costume: Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly. (Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief.)
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished
2. My mother taught me RELIGION
3. My mother taught me TIME TRAVEL
4. My mother taught me LOGIC
5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT
7. My mother taught me IRONY
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS
9. My mother taught me CONTORTIONISM
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA
11. My mother taught me WEATHER
12. My mother taught me HYPOCRISY
13. My mother taught me THE CIRCLE OF LIFE
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION
15. My mother taught me: ENVY
16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION
17. My mother taught me: RECEIVING
18. My mother taught me: MEDICAL SCIENCE
19. My mother taught me: ESP
20. My mother taught me: HUMOR
21. My mother taught me: HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT
22.My Mother taught me: Genetics
23. My Mother taught me about my Roots
24. My Mother taught me Wisdom
25. My mother taught me about Justice
The white man said, "Coloured people are not allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, when I grew up I was BLACK, when I'm sick I'm BLACK, when I go into the sun I'm BLACK, when I'm cold I'm BLACK, when I die I'll b BLACK. But you sir, when you're born you're PINK, when you grow up you're WHITE, when you're sick, you're GREEN, when you go in the sun you turn RED, when you're cold you turn BLUE and when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me coloured? Post this on your profile if you hate racism.
FRIENDS: Will comfort you when he rejects you.
BEST FRIENDS: Will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"
FRIENDS: Will be there for you when he breaks up with you.
BEST FRIENDS: Will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..."
FRIENDS: Helps you up when you fall.
BEST FRIENDS: Keeps on walking saying, "Walk much, dumb ass?"
FRIENDS: Helps you find your prince.
BEST FRIENDS: Kidnaps him and brings him to you.
FRIENDS: Will ask you if you're okay when you're crying.
BEST FRIENDS: Will laugh at you and say, "Ha Ha, Loser!"
FRIENDS: Will offer you a soda.
BEST FRIENDS: Will dump theirs on you.
FRIENDS:Will sit at the side of the pool withyou at that time of the month.
BEST FRIENDS: Will throw you a tampon and push you in.
FRIENDS: Gives you their umbrella in the rain.
BEST FRIENDS: Takes yours and says, "Run - beep - run!"
FRIENDS:Will help you move.
BEST FRIENDS: Will help you move the bodies.
FRIENDS: Will bail you out of jail.
BEST FRIENDS: Would be in the room next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!"
FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.
BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.
FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.
BEST FRIENDS:Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!
FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail.
BEST FRIENDS:Would be sitting next to you sayin "DAMN!" we messed up!
FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.
BEST FRIENDS: Wont tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore.
FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.
BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.
FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.
BEST FRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."
FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.
BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...
FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you
FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.
BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME.
FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.
BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.
FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college. (aka: drinking buddies)
BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.
FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough.
BEST FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place & say "Girl drink the rest of that ! You know we don't waste!
FRIENDS: Would read ignore this.
BEST FRIENDS: Will repost this shit
I'm not insensitive, I just don't care
Who doesn't love comebacks that make the other person sound stupid?
You say physco like it's a bad thing...
I find 'good morning' a contradiction of terms.
If you can't convince 'em, confuse 'em.
What you call stupidity, I call selective understanding.
Oops! Did my sarcasm hurt your feelings?
I intend to live forever...so far so good
Old enough to know better, young enough not to care
Life isn't passing me by; it's trying to run me over.
Between two evils, I always pick the one I've never tried
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