Author has written 5 stories for Twilight, and Harry Potter.
Hello to all page viewers:-)
by: Jordan Nicholas grade 8 (if I spelled your name wrong I'm sorry)(read from top to bottoms then follow instructions)
Our generation will be known for nothing
never will anybody say
we were the peak of mankind,
That is wrong, the truth is our generation is a failure
Thinking that we actually succeeded
Is a waste and we know
living only for money and power
is the way to go
being loving respectful and kind
is a dumb thing to do
forgeting about that time
will not be easy but we will try
Changing our world for the better
is something we never did
was how we handled our problems
was a joke
We know that
People thought we couldn't come back
that might be true
unless we turn things around
Our generation will be known for nothing
(read from bottom to top now)
we have yet to name our generation(those who are 17 and younger from the year 2014 and those yet to be born until the year 2016) so let's give them something good to say about us one day whose with me :-)
E - Elegαnt D - Dαzzling W - Well Behαved (most of the time) A - Angel R - Reαds Minds D - Desirαble
C - Crooked Smile U - Ultrα Cute L - Loves Bellα More Thαn Anything L - Lives For Bellα E - Extremely Beαutiful N - Never Bαcks Down
C-caring A-amazing R- rounded (thinking) L-loving I-ingenious S-surgeon E- elegant
A girl and guy were speeding over 100 mph on a motorcycle:
Girl: Slow down, I'm scared!
Guy: No, this is fun.
Girl: No, it's not. Please, I'm scared.
Guy: Then tell me you love me.
Girl: I love you, now slow down!
Guy: Now give me a big hug.
She gives him a big hug
Guy: Can you take off my helmet and put it on yourself, it's bothering me.
In the newspaper the next day, a motorcycle had crashed into a building because of break failure. Two people were on it and only one survived. The truth was that halfway down the road, the guy realized his break wasn't working, but he didn't want the girl to know. Instead he had her hug him and tell him one last time that she loved him. Then he had her put on his helmet so that she could live.
Screw Santa , I want Edward Cullen to come down my chimney!
AU - Alternative Universe AH - All Human OC - Original Character OOC - Out of Character IC - In Character WIP - Work in progress Lemon - Graphic sex scene Lime - Intense fluff (but not a sex scene)Fluff - A sweet moment shared between characters (like a kiss)
EDWARD EDWARD EDWARD I love him! I'm a HUGE Fan of him! No one is bigger fan then me...no one.
I'll stαч up tιll TШILIGHT
I promise to remember Bella
I promise to obey traffic laws
I promise to remember Carlisle
I promise to to remember Rosalie
I promise to remember Nessie
I promise to remember Jasper
Yes, I promise to remember Twilight
You have been diagnosed
If you think this next thing is incredibly cute and sweet, copy and paste it onto your profile.
Bella: Do I ever cross your mind?
Bella: Do you like me?
Bella: Do you want me?
Bella: Would you cry if I left?
Bella: Would you live for me?
Bella: Would you do anything for me?
Bella: Choose--me or your life
Edward: My life
Bella runs away in shock and pain and Edward runs after her and says...
"The reason you never cross my mind is because you're always on my mind.
The reason why I don't like you is because I love you.
The reason I don't want you is because I need you.
The reason I wouldn't cry if you left is because I would die if you left.
The reason I wouldn't live for you is because I would die for you.
The reason why I'm not willing to do you anything for you is because I would do everything for you.
The reason I chose my life is because you ARE my life."
Emmett's the strongest.
Thє Twιlιght Sαgα ιs α Drug...
T W I L I G H T A D D I C T --"""''''''""""""""")> -- My Exact Brand Of Heroine
«• Twilight •» •.(•. .•).•
... ...Robert Pattinson... ... ... ... ... ... . ... ... ... ... ...
. Robert .
єωαя υℓℓєη αи вєℓℓα sωαη
(='.'=)This is bunny. Put him in your profile and help him on his way to WORLD DOMINATION!
Mummy...Johnny brought a gun to school
ONE DAY A DAD COMES HOME DRUNK AND MAD. HE PULLS OUT A GUN AND SHOOTS HIS WIFE AND THEN TURNS THE GUN ON HIMSELF. HIS LITTLE GIRL SITS BEHIND THE COUCH CRYING. THE POLICE CAME AND TOOK THE LITTLE GIRL TO A NEW FAMILY. HER FIRST DAY TO SUNDAY SCHOOL SHE WALKS INTO THE BUILDING AND SEES A PICTURE OF JESUS ON THE CROSS.
THE LITTLE GIRL ASKS THE TEACHER: How did that man get off the cross?
THE TEACHER REPLIED: He never did.
THE LITTLE GIRL ARGUED: Yes he did when mommy and daddy fought he sat next to me behind the couch telling me everything was gonna be alright...
66 of u won't repost this. BUT REMEMBER THE BIBLE SAID, ''DENY JESUS IN FRONT OF YOUR FRIENDS AND I WILL DENY YOU IN FRONT OF MY FATHER."Repost this IF YOUR NOT ASHAMED. Let God's love spread
I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic
I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.
Im a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction.
I CUT MY WRIST, so i MUST be Emo
I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.(only by blood)
I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals.
I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.
I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black
I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot.
I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a "big one".
I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay.
I'm Italian so I must be a mobster.
I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED!
17 ways you know you are obsessed with Twilight
You have read all four books at least 2 times each.
Stephanie Meyer is your idol.
You have 'I love Cullen' rants a lot.
You know each of the Cullen's stories and have figured out their ages.
You annoy all your friends with your constant Twilight rants
You wish you were Bella/ a Cullen.
You spend most of your free time reading Twilight fanfictions.
You write Twilight fanfictions.
You go on Twilight fan sites all the time.
You know when Breaking Dawn is coming out and can't wait.( WELL NOW IT HAS RELIZED, for all you numbskulls that didn't know)
You think the Twilight movie will injustice the books.
Whenever someone says " its just a book" you start crying and wondering why it cant be real.
Your new favorite stone is onyx or topaz.
Your new favorite color is butterscotch-gold.
You want to visit Forks, Washington.
You keep smiling and agreeing with all of the reasons above.
You started reading this in the first place.
In my mind...
1. Forgot to put the lid on the blender, turned it on, and had everything fly out
8. Have looked for something for at least 10 min then realized it was in your hand
9. Tried to push open a door that said pull
55. Told someone you were the wrong age because you seriously forgot how old you were
79. Have been so hyper you actually scared people
El Paso sucks only people who have been there will understand
50 THINGS YOU DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT ME UNTIL YOU READ THIS:
1, What color is your toothbrush?
2, Name one person who made you smile today:
3, What were you doing at 8 am this morning:
At the ortho
4, What were you doing 45 minutes ago?
5, What is your favorite candy bar?
Milky wya...Kit kat? Pay dya if I could have it any more :-(
6, Have you ever been to a strip club?
7, What was the last thing you said?
"Yeah I got it dad"
8, What is your favorite ice cream flavor?
9, What was the last thing you had to drink?
10, Do you like your wallet?
11, What was the last thing you ate?
12, Have you bought any new clothing items this week?
13, The last sporting event you watched?
14, What is your favorite flavor of popcorn?
Cant eat it
15, Who is the last person you sent a text message too?
My bf :-)
16, Ever go camping?
17, Do you take vitamins daily?
18, Do you go to church every Sunday?
No, only been twice
19, Do you have a tan?
Nope (soooooo pale! Yay! I look like a vampire! XD)
20,Do you prefer Chinese food over pizza?
I would choose pizza any day!
21, Do you drink your soda with a straw?
Can't use straws
22, What did your last text message say?
23, What are you doing tomorrow?
WAYYYY tomuch schoolwork -_-
25, Look to your left, what do you see?
My dogs butt
26, What color is your watch?
27, What do you think of when you hear Australia?
The come to Australia song "you might accidently get killed*
28, What is your birthstone?
29, Do you go in at a fast food place or just hit the drive thru?
30, What is your favorite number?
69 cause it's funny or 13 cause it's my bros bday
31, Who's the last person you talked to on the phone?
My blind friend
32, Any plans today?
33, How many states have you lived in?
34, Biggest annoyance right now?
35, Last song listened to?
Neon light (can't remover who though right now )
36,Can you say the alphabet backwards?
37, Do you have a maid service clean your house?
38, Favorite pair of shoes you wear all the time?
39, Are you jealous of anyone?
40, Is anyone jealous of you?
41, Do you love anyone?
Yes. My family and my best friend.
42, Do any of your friends have children?
43, What do you usually do during the day?
Write. Read. Do Homework. Watch Twilight (XD) and many many more
44, Do you hate anyone that you know right now?
Yes stupid kid
45, Do you use the word 'hello' daily?
Not really I call peps by their nick names I'm called evil minion
46, What color is your car?
Silver when I get it
47, Do you like cats?
48. Are you thinking about someone right now?
Yup! My Alice and bella
49, Have you ever been to Six Flags?
50, How did you get your worst scar?
I ran into a metal bridge at the park
Top 71 twilight obsessed things to do
1. You keep re-reading the series, even though you know pretty much every line.
2. You never put down the books when you read them the first time.
3. You were counting down the days until breaking dawn came out.
4. You can’t help but smile whenever you think of Edward.
5. The name Edward is no longer dumb and weird to you.
6. Whenever someone says, “Hey, you want to go shopping?” you automatically think of Alice.
7. You want to move to Forks, Seattle, Phoenix, or Port Angeles.
8. When you see someone barely starting the series, you want to punch them for not reading it sooner.( even though you don't punch)
9. When you see someone reading Twilight, you go over to them and say how much you like it, to which they give you a weird look and walk away.
10. You cried during some parts of the books, and laughed at others.
11. The name Victoria sends chills down your spine. (shudder)
12. Twilight is your favourite time of day
13. You have imagined yourself as one of the Cullens and or characters in the book
14.You have had pretend conversations with one of the book characters in your mind.
15. After you read the book, apples became your favorite fruit.
1 6.You wish you were a vampire.
17. You squealed with joy when Edward and Bella reunited in New moon.
18. Your friends get scared around you when you start to talk about Twilight.
19. When your friends bring up Twilight, they smack their heads because they know you're going to go on a never ending rant
20. you go on a never ending rant when someone brings up twilight
21. When you see someone wearing glitter you think of vampires
22. You wished your name was Bella and have yelled at your parents about it
23. Instead of asking yourself questions like, “I wonder why we as humans are alive?” you ask, “I wonder what will happen in Breaking Dawn”
24.You hate the name Jacob with a passion.
25. Black is now your least favourite colour.
26.Your teachers at school ask you why your reading log mostly consists of the Twilight series.
27. You dress up like a Cullen on Halloween and people ask you why you’re not wearing a costume but a lot of glitter and expensive brand clothes borrowed from your friends.
28. You read fan fictions about Twilight online and it’s the only website you’re on anymore.
29. You’ve written Cullen as your last name
30. When you went to an Italian restaurant, you ordered the mushroom ravioli.
31. You listen to your heartbeat more often
32. You look at your doctor and think, “Carlisle’s better”
33. Topaz is your favourite gemstone.
34. You wish you were born in November so topaz would be your birthstone
35. You wish your birthday was also June 20th, like Edward’s
36. Your parents have grounded you from the books until you get breaking dawn.
37. Mountain lions are your favourite animal
38. You’ve tried to read peoples mind, see the future, change people’s emotions, or make them be in excruciating pain.
39. You cried during New Moon, more than you've cried ever before in a book.
40. You get very mad and gasp when people say they have never heard of Twilight.
41. You jump every time you hear "Edward" or "Bella"
42. You can't focus on your work/homework because you could be reading one of the books again.
43. You name your pet/computer/car after one of the Twilight characters
44. you relate everything in life to Bella and Edward and anything else that goes on in the books.
45. You began to look after men/women that have pale skin, dark eyes and are absolutely gorgeous.
46. You want to go cliff diving because Bella did it.
47. You want to ride motorcycles, just because Bella did.
48. You read your books while you eat, or you just don't eat at all.
49. When you fall over or nearly get hit by a big van you call it a Bella moment.
50. You fall over alot and almost get hit by big vans.
51. You sleep with your books in your bed at night.
52. You've memorized every page number in all three books and know the content of each.
53. You start a Twilight-themed website.
54. You and your friends make Twilight tees that say "I'd rather die than be with Mike Newton" and wear them to school on the same day.
55. Instead of shouting "I HAVE TO PEE!" you say "I need a human minute."
56. You hate gym only because Bella does, too.
57. Everytime someone speaks of one named Edward, you jump on their back.
58. You refuse to eat human food, because the Cullens don't.
59. You think in Fanfic.
60. Every sentence you say begins with "Twilight".
61.You would name your kid Carlisle in a heartbeat.
62. If someone is cold/warm when you touch them, you scream "YOU'RE A WEREWOLF/ VAMPIRE! And THEN jump on them.
63. You call your English/Science/Trig teachers there respective Twilight characters (i.e., Mr. Berty, Mr. Banner, Mr. Varner, Coach Clapp)
64. You become a vegetarian, because you are just halfway there to "vegetarian vampire."
65. You refuse a date with the most popular guy in school because he's not "your Edward."
66. You have answered "duh," "yes," or "omg YEAH" to all or any of these questions.
67. You give complements/insults in the following format: "You know what, you are such a insert name of character here.
68. If someone mentions they haven't read the series, gasp, you start yelling at them until they do.
69. You demand that your parents take you to Forks over spring break/summer vacation, etc.
70.On a sunny day, you're depressed because you know you won't see any vampires.
71. You're reading this list for this long
You start going up to random people to tell them you want an Edward!
You think your next door neighbor looks like a vampire, or he really is a vampire.
You try to control your thoughts because Edward might hear them.
You've read Twilight, New Moon and Eclipse at least 5 times each!
You check on this site 5 times (or more) a day to see if there's any new Twilight news.
You think your best friend's crazy for not reading Twilight, New Moon, and/or Eclipse.
When you see a box labeled "Forks", you think there's something imported from Forks, Washington in there.
Twilight has ruined any and all future reading for you.
You use Twilight for every single school project that pops up.
You break up with your boyfriend because he doesn't glitter in the sun like Edward.
You have nothing to do, so you go to www.stepheniemeyer.com and read everything on the site twice. And then go to the Lexicon and do the same thing.
You promise your friend that if he can find you an Edward, you'll give him the answers to your homework for the rest of your school-life.
When your best friend's mom drives fast and you scream, "OMG! You drive fast! You're a vampire and you didn't TELL me?"
You drink red drinks and yell, "Whoo! I'm a vampire! But I'm a vegetarian one, because I don't kill people! Only red berries!"
You buy your friend her own copy of Eclipse so that she doesn't have to steal yours for any amount of time.
You plan on naming your children after characters in any of the books in the Twilight series.
You walk around school looking for pale-skinned, inhumanly beautiful classmates with red or gold eyes.
You see a shadow, think it's Edward, and start talking to it.
You compare every guy you meet to Edward and are honestly disappointed when they never measure up. (pffttt ya)
F.R.I.E.N.D.S. = Fight for you = Respect you = Involve you = Encourage you = Need you = Deserve you = Save you
Put this in your profile if you love to laugh!
People are like slinkies; basically useless, but ever so amusing to watch fall down the stairs.
If you can't convince them, confuse them.
An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed.
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving isn't for you.
What happens if you get scared half to death... twice?
Never do anything that you wouldn't want to explain to the paramedics.
The dinosaurs extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide.
I run with scissors. It makes me feel dangerous.
Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.
They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well, I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people.
Life isn't passing me by, it's trying to run me over.
Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is my ceiling?
When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
Sometimes I wonder, "Why is the frisbee getting bigger?" Then I get hit in the face
Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?
If you don't like my driving then stay off the sidewalk!
Don’t mess with me. I've got a stick.
If two wrongs don't make a right, try three.
When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep - not screaming, like the passengers in his car.
I smile because I have no idea what's going on!
One day, your prince will come. Mine? Oh, he just took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions.
One day, we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject.
Don't knock on death's door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that.
Whoever said nothing was impossible never tried slamming a revolving door...
Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.
Of course I'm out of my mind! It's dark and scary in there!
I'm not afraid of death! What's it going to do? Kill me?
Real girls aren't perfect, perfect girls aren't real. You want a perfect girl? Go buy a Barbie
Having the love of your life say,"We can still be friends, is like having your dog die and your mom saying you can still keep it.
When someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles to frown about it but it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and punch them!
I dream of a better world where chickens can cross the road without having their motives questioned.
I used up all my sick days...so I called in dead.
Stressed is Desserts backwards :)
When you get caught looking at him, just remember, he was looking back!
Of all the things I’ve lost, I miss my mind the most.
You're laughing now because you're older than me by mere months, but when you 30 and I'm still 29, who will be laughing then?
I don't suffer from insanity... I enjoy every minute of it.
There's a light at the end of every tunnel...lets just hope it's not a train.
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
I am in shape...round is a shape.
I don't swim in your toilet, so don't pee in my pool.
You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, and I laugh even harder.
Boys are like trees – they take fifty years to grow up.
Flying is not inherently dangerous- crashing is.
Forecast for tonight: darkness.
Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall through a sewer hole and die.
Love your enemies. It gets them really confused.
If aliens are looking for intelligent life, why the heck are you scared?!
Some say the glass is half full, others the glass is half empty, all I want to know is who's drank my water!
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
When your down I may not be able to pick you back up, but I promise I'll be willing to lay down right next to you.
You don't die of a broken heart... you only wish you did.
Sticks and stones may scar my skin but words slice through my soul within.
Its not until you're broken that you know what you're made of.
There cannot be a crisis this week; my schedule is filled.
When your are in jail,a friend will bail you out, but a best friend will be sitting right next to you saying,"Dang, that was fun!"
People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they don't realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world.(perfect example thank you nyx nuit)
Silence is golden, duct tape is silver.
Friends will always be like,"Well, you deserve better!" but best friends will prank call him saying,"Seven days..."
The toothfairy teaches kids it's okay to sell body parts.
I'm not crazy. My reality is just different then yours.
I was about to take over the world, but I got distracted when I saw something shiny.
Most people learn by observation, and there are the few who learn by experimentation. And then there are those who actually TOUCH the fire to see if it's really hot.
Amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic...
Why do we teach kids that violence is not the answer and then have them read about wars in school that solved America's problems?
I DONT obsess! I think intensly...and like all the time.
Jogging is a slow sprinting, Coach!
If a synchronized swimmer drowns, does that mean they all have to?
It takes skill to trip over flat surfaces.
I'm not random, I'm just HEY LOOK A SQUIRREL!
They never suspect the short one.
Do vegetarians eat animal crackers?
Anyone else having trouble getting to Narnia?
Stereotyping? How do you type with a stereo?
People who don't know me think I'm quiet. People who do wish I was(That describes me perfectly!).
I didn't slap you, I high-fived your face. With a brick,
You're a great friend, but if the zombies are chasing us, I'm tripping you.
DEATH: the number 1 killer in the U.S...tell your friends.
Automatic doors make me feel like a JEDI!!
Hey stupid! Your sock is untied...
If my calculations are correct...slinkieescalator=EVERLASTING FUN!!
Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.
Ever notice that studying is "student" and "dying" put together?
Owww! Charlie!! Charlie bit me...
Procrastinators; the leaders of tomorrow.
Im not random, you just can't think as fast as me.
Tu madre. You just got burnt in spanish.
Chocolate is the answer no matter what the question is.
Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
We're so cool ice cubes are jealous.
Im not as random as you think I-salad.
It's okay,Pluto. I'm not a planet either.
Ever wonder why bologna and lasagna don't rhyme? (dont lie you said them out loud)
Laughing until your stomach hurts is what friends are for.
If people were all meant to pop out of bed, we'd all sleep in toasters.
On a scale of 1 to crazy,I'm a penguin.
I don't get it...boys think girls are so complicatd. Haven't they met themselves?
I see no good reason to act my age.
Don't follow my footsteps. I run into walls.
Be a dork!! Because being cool is overrated.
At this moment, you're the oldest you've ever been. And the youngest you will ever be
Worst time to have a heart attack: during a game of charades(I died when I read that. That's stinkin' hilarious!).
If you're reading this then you're not dead. Good for you.
I ROCK! Guitar Hero told me.
I tried being normal, but I didn't like it.
Smile. It makes the world wonder what you're up to.
There are two things that are infinite. The universe and human stupidity. And I'm not so sure about the universe.
Out of my mind. Be back in five minutes.
Normality will be restored as soon as we figure out what it is.
Be yourself. That's crazy enough.
You always get what's coming to you: unless it gets lost in that mail.
The trouble with real life is that there is no background music.
I have not lost my mind; its backed up on a disk somewhere.
Beware the letter 'G'. It is the end of everything.
If you try to fail and succeed, which one did you do?
I am reading a most interesting book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.
Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.
If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile.
Normal teens usually get grounded from laptop/TV/cell/mp3 or iPod. Weird (a.k.a us) teens get freaked out if we get grounded from Microsoft Word/Fanfiction/books. If your a "weird teen" copy and paste this on your profile!
If you get way too excited for books, movies, etc. to come out, copy this into your profile.
A large percent of authors do not know the difference between 'your' and 'you're'. If you do know the difference, copy and paste this to your profile.
Haikus are random
They never make any sense
If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.
If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile.
If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you've ever wondered what you are like in another dimension, copy and paste this in your profile.
When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep-- not screaming, like the passengers in his car.
I'm the kind of girl who will burst our laughing in the middle of a dead silence because of something that happened yesterday.
"Whoever said nothing is impossible, never tried to slam a revolving door,"- Unknown
When I was younger, my parents encouraged me to walk and talk. Now, all they want me to do is sit down and shut up!
Too often, we lose sight of life's simple pleasures. Remember, when someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles in your face to frown, BUT it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and bitch slap that mother f upside the head
Don't think of your self as an ugly person. Think of yourself as a beautiful monkey.
A stranger stabs you in the front; a friend stabs you in the back; a boyfriend stabs you in the heart, but best friends only poke each other with straws.
"We live in an age where pizza gets to your house before the police do."
You know it's going to be a bad day when you fall out of bed and miss the floor
Life isn't a garden so stop being a hoe.
If life gives you lemons, throw them back at the jerk who gave them to you and demand chocolate.
Most people would be offended if someone asked them what was wrong with their mind. copy this into your pro if you would be one of the few people that would answer, "where to begin?"
If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile
if you think some people must be on suger highs when they write their stories copy and paste this into your profile.
You know your addiction to Twilight is getting dangerous when you've added "Volterra" to your computer's dictionary. If you have done just that, copy this into your profile.
92 percent of teenagers would die if Abercrombie and Fitch told them it wasn't cool to breathe. Put this in your profile if you would be part of the 8 percent laughing your butt off
Give a person a fish, you feed them for a day; Teach a person to use the Internet, they won't bother you for weeks.
Some people are like a slinky..not really good for anything, but you can't help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.
To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.
If someone says there are a billion stars in the universe, you believe them, but if someone say that there is wet paint somewhere you have to touch it?
Having the love of your life say you can still be friends is like having your dog die and your mom saying you can still keep it.
Don't frown, even when you’re sad, someone could be falling in love with your smile.
Music is love in search of word.
Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them so much.
I agree with the dictionary. Girls before guys, partying before studying, and friends before love.
When life gives you lemons, make grape juice. Then sit back and watch the world wonder how you did it.
I'd rather be hated for who I am than be loved for who I'm not.
A good friend bails you out of jail. A best friend is sitting there next to you saying 'Man, that was fun!'
My favorite word is sarcasm.
Oops, I appear to have fallen on your lips.
My heart is not a playground
Did you just call me a bitch? Because a bitch is a dog. Dogs bark. Bark is on trees. Trees are a part of nature. And nature is beautiful. I know I'm beautiful! Thanks for the complement.
I'm not so good at advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?
Dear Heart, I met a boy today, prepare to shatter.
All things considered, insanity may be the only reasonable alternative.
When angry, count to ten, when very angry, swear.
"Lol(all the time)" If you laugh out loud that much, then you have issues.
Oh Hale No! (Vonage gets Oh Hale Yes! hehe)
Hippopotomonstrousaequipodaliophobic - Fear of long words.
On Sears hairdryer:
On a bag of Fritos:
On a bar of Dial soap:
On some Swann frozen dinners:
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
On Nytol sleep aid:
On a Korean kitchen knife:
On a string of Christmas lights:
On a food processor:
On Sainsbury's peanuts:
On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
On a Swedish chainsaw:
On a child's Superman costume:
the wierd thing is out of all the warning labels some nor had to have do it before for them to gave put it on a liable (deep huh)
This is weird, but interesting! If you can raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too. Cna yuo raed tihs? Olny 55 plepoe out of 100 can. I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed erveylteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt!Paste this to your profile if you can read this!